Episode 3 Pointless Celebrities

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thanks very much. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong.

And a very warm welcome to a special celebrity edition of Pointless,

the quiz show that puts obscure knowledge to the test. Let's meet our Pointless celebrities.

APPLAUSE

LAUGHTER

First up, we welcome Michael Fish and Sian Lloyd.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Two of our country's best-loved weather forecasters. Lovely to have you on the show.

If weather comes up and you get it wrong, ooh!

-Ooh!

-Ooh!

-Because that's never happened before, has it, Michael?

-Never happened, has it?!

-No!

-Indeed. So weather, Sian, obviously.

-Yes.

UK geography, I'm guessing, also pretty good.

-To be honest, weather's more about maths and computing.

-Yeah, physics.

-Especially nowadays. Physics.

-It's not really about...

-Don't tempt them to give us difficult questions!

Chemical equations and all that. None of this geography malarkey.

-Where does that come into it, chemistry?

-Theoretical physics, the lot. We're terribly brainy.

-We're way too brainy for this show!

-LAUGHTER

-I'm going home now!

-Fortunately, Sian, round one is about theoretical physics.

So we'll have a chance to find out. LAUGHTER

-Anything you'd hate to see come up, Michael?

-I'm a bit of a philistine.

So anything to do with books and reading and films and...

-You know, life.

-Approaching weather systems coming up from the south.

-Hurricanes even, that sort of thing.

Well, Michael and Sian, it's lovely having you on the show. Very best of luck. Sian and Michael, everyone!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

And next we welcome Lee Dixon and Mark Lawrenson. Fabulous!

LOUD CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Very, very warm welcome to the show, gentlemen.

We know you as Match Of The Day pundits, both with hugely successful football careers behind you.

You must know, between you, pretty much everything there is to know about football.

-N...No. Alan Hansen knows everything. Us two, we don't know anything.

-Oh, really?

Even if it's wrong, he knows.

HE LAUGHS

-But he's not here, so there we are. So you are our second best...

-Oh, thanks!

-Brilliant! Thanks.

-..To Alan Hansen.

-It's been said before.

-Yeah, there you are.

Jasper Carrott should do this programme. He'd be great.

-Actually...

-Do you know what? That's actually a very good idea.

-He would be terrific.

-Yeah.

-Are there any other areas though?

-Are you good on general knowledge, Mark?

-No.

-Do you collect information though? Are you good at remembering things?

-What's your name?

-Yeah. Jasper Carrott.

-Of course, yeah!

That's two mentions he's got already. He's popular, see?

OK. Well, listen, very, very best of luck. It's great to have you here. Thanks very much, Lee and Mark.

APPLAUSE

Next, we welcome Linda Robson and Jenny Eclair.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Why are we clapping ourselves?

-You can. You can do that.

-We can clap ourselves.

-We're great!

Yes!

LAUGHTER

-You've been on our screens for many years.

-Many years?!

-Dearly loved as actresses...

Yeah! 40-something years I've been in the business. 45 years.

-That's all right, many.

-A long time, yeah.

-But that's a brilliant thing.

-Some say too long.

-Never!

-Who would say that?

-Jenny.

-I would.

But you've been actresses, presenters...

-Jenny, obviously, a comedienne.

-Gymnast, super-model.

-Exactly.

-I was just getting to that. Jenny, what's going to be brilliant for you?

-Erm...

I don't know. Sometimes I think I'm quite bright and then I prove that I'm not.

I really don't know. It's all down to luck with general knowledge.

-You either know it, or you don't.

-Well, it is lovely having you here. Linda and Jenny!

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

And, finally, we're got Camilla Dallerup and Kevin Sacre.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Now, obviously, Camilla, we know you from Strictly Come Dancing and Kevin as Jake Dean in Hollyoaks.

-And you are our only married couple.

-Mmm!

-Yes.

-Is that going to be an advantage for you?

-Probably not.

-We'll see if we're still married at the end!

LAUGHTER

Have you performed together in a team...? I'm mean, obviously....

LAUGHTER

-Sorry!

-Do you want to rephrase that slightly?

-Yeah.

Let me put that another way. Have you been on a quiz team ever before?

-No.

-No, we haven't, actually.

-We've been on stage together.

-Of course, you have!

-You're on stage at the moment, aren't you?

-Yes.

-In Calendar Girls.

-Touring Calendar Girls.

Clearly, stage, theatre, music, these sorts of things are going to be good for you.

-What else would be great for you?

-Nothing else!

Anything that I know the answer to would be good, really.

Which probably isn't a lot.

Listen, it's lovely to have you both here. Thanks so much for joining us. Camilla and Kevin!

APPLAUSE

Well, we look forward to discovering all your hidden knowledge throughout the show as it goes along.

There's only one person left to introduce.

Taking obscurity to another level

and occasionally reminding us of Another Level...

-LAUGHTER

-My Pointless friend is Richard.

Hiya.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

I say, reminding us OF Another Level. I think I mean ABOUT Another Level.

-I don't think anyone other than you and I know who Another Level are.

-Wow!

-They were a boy band...

-We do! We do! Pop group!

-Yeah.

-Absolutely. With...?

-Dane...?

-Dane Bowers.

-There we go!

-There we go! There's obscurity for you and we haven't even started!

-They've won!

-Wow, we've got off to an absolutely storming start.

Yeah, brilliant!

I went along the line earlier and every pair said they know nothing about anything.

So we're in for a very, very entertaining 45 minutes, I suspect.

-I'm excited to have Lee and Mark on.

-Oh, yeah!

-It's good, isn't it?

I'm hoping at half time, you'll sit round the sofa and say how we're doing.

-We'll be gone by then.

-No, after the second round, they'll still be here.

-We've got a cab booked in about half an hour!

-OK, there we are. Thanks very much, Richard.

All our questions on Pointless have been put to 100 people before the show,

but we are looking for the obscure answers they didn't get.

To stay in the game and to be in with a chance of winning our jackpot,

all our celebrities need to do is score as few points as they can.

What everyone's trying to do is to find a pointless answer.

That's an answer that none of our 100 people knew.

Each time that happens, we will add 250 quid to the jackpot.

Now as today's show is a celebrity special, each of our celebrities is playing for a nominated charity,

we start off with a jackpot of...

There we are.

APPLAUSE

OK, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

OK, in this first round, each of you must give me one answer and you cannot confer with your partner.

Whichever pair has the highest score at the end of the round will be eliminated.

If you give me an incorrect answer, you will score the maximum of 100 points.

So do try to avoid those, if you can. OK, our first category is...

-KEVIN:

-Oh, no!

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going second.

And, whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name

as many teams at the 2011 Rugby World Cup as they could.

Teams at the 2011 Rugby World Cup. Richard.

Nothing to add there. Simply looking for any team that played at the Rugby World Cup in 2011.

I say "simply".

LAUGHTER

OK. Now then, Michael and Sian, you all drew lots before the show and YOU get to go first.

-Thank you.

-So there we are. Michael.

Er, Fiji.

Fiji. Let's see if that's right and, if it is, how many of our 100 people said Fiji.

It's right!

24!

APPLAUSE

-Not bad. 24.

-Well played, Michael.

Good, solid start there. Knocked out in the group stages.

So then, Mark, what's the most obscure team you can think of

that played in the Rugby World Cup 2011?

-I'm going to go USA.

-OK.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, how many of our 100 people said the USA.

Of course, it's right.

14!

APPLAUSE

Not bad at all. 14 for the USA.

Yeah, I think the boy Lawro's done well there. He's seen an opportunity and he's taken it.

I think Dicko is going to be delighted with him, don't you?

-I am absolutely...

-Where's she gone?

-LINDA:

-Come back!

-JENNY:

-I don't know!

-I don't like this game any more!

-You have to guess!

-Otherwise you'll get 100 points. So just guess!

-I'm going to guess.

-That's fine! Quite often guessing will get a lower score than...

-OK.

-Mm, I'm lying.

-OK.

LAUGHTER

-I'm going now?

-If you like.

LAUGHTER

-Trinidad and Tobago.

-Trinidad and Tobago!

So, Jenny, let's see if that's right and, if it is, how many of our 100 people

said Trinidad and Tobago.

Oh!

-I'm so sorry, Linda.

-It's OK, Jenny.

I think you got confused with rugby and bobsleighing.

Unfortunately, that's an incorrect answer, Jenny, which means you score the maximum of 100 points.

-Does that mean we're winning?

-No! We're losing.

-You know, in a kinda way...

-Camilla.

-Yes, thank you. I can't wait for this!

This plays right into your hands.

Tonga.

OK, Tonga, says Camilla.

Kevin's impressed. Let's see if Tonga's right and, if it is, how many of our 100 people said Tonga.

It is right.

10!

APPLAUSE

10 for Tonga! The best score of the pass.

-Richard.

-Yeah, that's a terrific score, Camilla. Very well played.

-They got knocked out in the group stages as well.

-OK.

We're halfway through the round, so let's look at the scores. Camilla, such a good answer!

Camilla and Kevin looking very strong on just 10.

Then up to 14, where we find Mark and Lee.

Then up to 24, where we find Michael and Sian.

Then a bit of a journey up to 100, where we find Jenny and Linda.

So, Linda, we need a nice obscure answer from you in the next pass. Very good luck with that.

OK, back down the line. Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

So we are looking for 2011 Rugby World Cup teams.

-Kevin, how well did Camilla do there?

-She did very well.

-Amazing!

-That was my answer, unfortunately.

-Ah!

Well, listen, you're on 10. The high scorers are Linda and Jenny on 100.

A score of 89 for you at this stage would ensure you a place in the next round.

Er, I will play it safe then and say Argentina.

Argentina. There is your red line. Below that, you're through.

So let's see, Argentina, is it right?

It is! And you're through.

Very well done indeed! Down it goes.

27!

It's a great score, Kevin! Takes your total up to 37.

APPLAUSE

Argentina, Richard?

Well played, Kevin. The Pumas, Argentina - got through to the quarter-finals.

-Now then, Linda.

-Oh, dear!

-I know!

You're the high scorers on 100.

-All we need is a really nice low score.

-OK.

Poland.

Why is that funny?

LAUGHTER

Is that bad? Obviously, it is.

Poland, says Linda.

Let's see if that's correct and, if it is, how many of our 100 people said Poland.

-Oh, no!

-Oh, brilliant! We're the same!

I'm really glad! Oh! Oh!

Oh, bad luck! I'm afraid Poland's an incorrect answer. That scores you the maximum of 100 points.

And I'm afraid it takes your total up to a noble...200.

-Richard.

-Yeah, it's such a shame it isn't the 2007 World Cup,

because then the final was between Poland and Trinidad and Tobago.

-LAUGHTER

-Yeah, and that was a great match!

-Yeah!

-And Poland won.

Thanks very much, Richard.

So, Lee, the high scorers on 200.

Linda and Jenny - they're out of your reach. Even if you score 100,

you'll never overtake them. You're through to the next round.

But try!

Remember we are looking for teams that played in the 2011 Rugby World Cup.

Western Samoa.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Western Samoa.

Ah!

An incorrect answer, as it turns out.

Which means you score the maximum of 100 points.

That takes your total up to 114.

So then, Sian, the last answer of the round.

You're on 24. It doesn't matter if you say anything wrong.

You still won't overtake the high score of Linda and Jenny.

-That's such a relief! Thanks, girls!

-Most games it's good to have the high score, innit?

Um, OK... So I'll go for something like Japan.

-Japan. Did you watch the World Cup at all?

-Yeah, lots. Come on, I'm Welsh!

-Stupid question.

-Pointless question!

LAUGHTER

-MICHAEL:

-Oh!

OK, Japan, says Sian. Let's see if that's right and, if it is, how many of our 100 people said Japan.

It's right.

Down it goes! Still going down. 13!

Ah!

APPLAUSE

-Cracking answer from Sian. 13 takes your total up to 37.

-I think we won!

-Japan, Richard.

Great answer, Sian. Very well played, again. Got knocked out in the group stages.

Lee, as I think you know already, they played as Samoa rather than Western Samoa.

-So we had to accept that.

-Bit harsh, but I'll accept it.

Has no-one said to you never ever talk back to the referee?

BOTH: No!

-How often do they change their decision?

-George Graham told us the exact opposite.

There's no pointless answers here, actually, but there's a few low scorers. Let's take a look.

Very well done if you said any of these.

They were the best answers you could have given.

But I think, by and large, fantastic answers from everybody.

LINDA AND JENNY LAUGH

Sort of.

Let's take a look at the top scorers. These are the ones most of our 100 people said.

-97!

-97 points. Almost as bad as a wrong answer.

Thank you, Richard. So at the end of the first round, the losing pair with the highest score,

I'm afraid, Linda and Jenny. I'm sorry.

We've really had a lovely time. Thank you very much indeed. It wasn't really our category.

Well, it's been lovely having you, but Linda and Jenny, brilliant contestants!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

Now, obviously, there's only room for two celebrity pairs in our head-to-head round,

so one of the teams in front of me will be leaving us at the end of this round.

Our category for Round Two is...

People. Can you decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, our question for Round Two concerns...

Famous Davids, Richard.

On each pass we're going to give you six descriptions of famous people

all of whom share the first name David.

Give us a nice obscure answer, you'll score fewer points. Give an incorrect answer, you'll score 100 points.

Two passes. There's 12 Davids to guess at home.

OK, thanks very much, Richard. So we are looking for famous Davids.

And here are the clues.

I'll read all those out again.

OK, so there are our six Davids.

All you need to do is find one that you think

the fewest of our 100 people would have known from that clue. Michael.

I'm hoping that the chap in the box

was called David Hasselhoff, or something like that.

OK, Michael, you are saying the magician who spent 44 days in a glass box was David Hasselhoff?

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, how many people knew that answer, David Hasselhoff.

Ooh!

Bad luck, Michael! Although I would like to see David Hasselhoff...

-LAUGHTER

-..suspended in a glass box.

Bad luck. That's an incorrect answer, which means you score the maximum of 100 points. I'm sorry.

We're looking for famous Davids. Lawro, what would you like to say?

Which David do you want to pick?

I'm going to go for the David who claimed to be the son of God in a Wogan interview.

Actually, used to work for the BBC on Grandstand.

-David Icke.

-David Icke, you're saying.

Let's see if David Icke is indeed the person who claimed to be the son of God in a Wogan interview.

David Icke. Is that right? How many people knew that answer?

It is right.

22!

APPLAUSE

That'll do! 22!

APPLAUSE

Well played, Lawro. Very good answer. Can you believe David Ike, only 22 points?

Well, yeah. He's lucky. People have forgotten about it.

-Yeah, I guess so.

-Er, Camilla.

You're the last person to have this batch of Davids.

-Yes.

-What do you think of them?

-I know the magician, obviously! I've seen him.

But I cannot think of the surname at this minute, which is very frustrating.

Don't know, really. Director of Brief Encounter?

Erm...

Mm... David Charles?

David Charles, you are saying, the director of Brief Encounter, David Charles, says Camilla.

Lets see if that's right and, if it is, how many of our 100 people knew that answer.

Ooh!

Bad luck, Camilla!

That's an incorrect answer, which means you score the maximum of 100 points.

Yes, the director of Brief Encounter was actually the best answer on the board, 7 points for David Lean.

Camilla, you know the answer to the top one.

-David Cameron.

-David Cameron, absolutely right. How many people do you think got that right?

-It's going to be depressing, isn't it?

-It's not great news, certainly.

-Erm...

-87 people.

So 13 out of that 100 didn't know the Prime Minister?

-And all 13 of them knew David Icke. All 13.

-Personally?

-Let's look at the rest. Michael, the magician who spent the days in the box was David Blane.

-Ah!

The American magician. 69 points.

-The musician, creator of Ziggy Stardust, Xander?

-David Bowie.

David Bowie, absolutely. Would have scored 57.

-And the former heavyweight boxing champion, born 1980?

-I don't know.

-Lawro, Lee, do you know that one?

-Dave Boy Green, is it? I don't know.

-No, born 1980, so...

-Ah no, it's heavyweight, sorry.

-No idea.

-Oh, born 1980!

-..Quite a recent one. David Haye.

Would have scored 14 points. So David Lean the best answer. Well done if you got all the Davids.

Thank you very much, Richard. We're halfway through the round, so let's look at the scores.

Well, only two scores between the three teams. Mark and Lee looking strong on 22.

Then Camilla and Kevin, Michael and Sian on 100 there.

Sian and Kevin, a tussle between you to decide who stays with us and who leaves us at the end of the round.

OK, we're back down the line. Can the second players take their places at the podium?

We're going to put six more Davids on the board and here they come.

I'll read them all one more time.

There we are. Remember, we're looking for the famous Davids described behind me.

Obviously, you're trying to find the one that fewest of our 100 people knew.

Kevin. You're the high scorers, joint high scorers.

It's between you and Sian.

-Yes.

-A really nice obscure David. How many Davids on that board do you know?

One, two...

Three.

I'm trying to work out. The obvious one is not to go for the top one.

I'm going to go for the TV naturalist, brother of actor-director Richard,

and go for David Attenborough.

David Attenborough, you are saying.

Let's see if it's right and how many of our 100 people said it.

There's no red line for you, cos you're the joint high scorers.

David Attenborough.

It's right!

72!

APPLAUSE

72 for David Attenborough.

Yeah, damage limitation there, Kevin. It might have been a good tactic when the round comes to an end.

He also was the first-ever controller of BBC2.

-We used to be on BBC2, didn't we? Do you remember that?

-Yeah.

Back in the old days. I suspect we will be again one day.

LAUGHTER

Very good! Thanks a lot for that, Richard.

Now, Lee and Mark. The good news is you're through whatever happens,

even if you score 100 points, which I don't think you will,

you're in the head-to-head round.

So then, Lee, what are you thinking?

I'll go for the author of The Moon's A Balloon.

-David Niven.

-David Niven.

Well said. Let's see if that's right and, if it is, how many people said it.

Again, no red line for you because you're through whatever happens.

David Niven.

Very much so.

Very well done. 11 points!

Cracking answer, Lee.

Takes your total up to 33.

David Niven.

-Great answer, Lee. Very well played. Hansen would have got 100 on this round.

-He'd have been hopeless!

I tell you how I knew that. My mum used to have that book by her bed every single night.

She never read it. It was just sort of an ornament, always on the side of her bed. I'll never forget that.

-It's a very funny book, actually.

-Is it? I've not read it.

-It's brilliant.

Anyway, thank you very much. The Moon's A Balloon, David Niven.

Now then, Sian, we have a match on here. Kevin and Camilla on 172.

You are on 100.

A score of 71 or less will see you through to the head-to-head. How's that board looking behind me?

It's looking good. And I knew the author of the Moon's A Balloon, of course. Thank you so much, Lee(!)

Mr Sportsman!

LAUGHTER

So I'm thinking people are going to know the Labour Home Secretary one.

They're going to know Golden Balls.

They're going to know the Hoff. So I'm going to have to go for the English painter, aren't I?

And I shall go for David Hockney.

David Hockney, says Sian. Here's your red line. You have a red line.

It's quite nice and high. Below that red line, with David Hockney, you are through to the head-to-head.

Let's see if it's right and, if it is, let's see how many people said David Hockney.

It is right! You ARE through!

7!

APPLAUSE

It's a great answer, Sian. 7! Takes your total up to 107.

Well done, Sian. It's the best answer on the board, actually.

Closely followed by Lee's David Niven.

You'd have been very, very safe with the Labour Home Secretary as well.

Our David Cameron response should have taught you not that many people know Labour's Home Secretary 2001-4.

It was David Blunkett. Would have scored you 17.

The footballer, nicknamed "Golden Balls", good news for Cameron.

-Fewer people knew it was David Beckham.

-Really?

It would have scored you 85. Now, Michael...

Do you know the David who's nicknamed The Hoff?

I could tell what the next board was going to be. I was answering this question instead.

Ah, you were sort of doing tomorrow's weather.

-What, like the Two Ronnies?

-It was a forecast answer.

-Yeah!

Well, it was very accurate. Yeah, David Hasselhoff.

-That would have scored 83.

-That was your man!

-Yeah. I knew it was there somewhere.

Thank you very much, Richard. So at the end of Round Two, the losing celebrity pair

with the highest score - I'm afraid it's Kevin and Camilla.

-AUDIENCE: Aah!

-Dear, oh dear, oh dear!

Yours was tough. Your board was tough, wasn't it, Kevin?

You know what, I wanted to go for Blunkett, but I couldn't remember if it was Blunkett or Plunkett!

That's terrible, isn't it? That's really bad, so yeah.

-But there we go.

-Oh well, never mind.

Kevin and Camilla, it's been lovely having you on the show. Thank you so much for playing. Excellent!

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining pairs, things are about to get even more exciting now, as we enter the head-to-head.

Congratulations, Michael and Sian, Lee and Mark.

You are now only one round away from the final and a chance to play for the jackpot which stands at...

WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE

Now, obviously, only one pair can play for that money.

To decide which pair it's going to be, you are now going head-to-head.

For each question, you'll be shown five options on the board.

Each pair needs to give just one answer, but you are now allowed to confer.

All you have to do is score less than the other pair and you'll win that question.

The first pair to win two questions, will be playing for the jackpot. Let's play head-to-head.

Oh! Here comes your first question.

It concerns...

Great(!)

-Ooh!

-Actors who have played Dracula, Richard.

For this question we're going to show you five photographs of actors playing Dracula.

We've shown these to our 100 people as well.

We need you to name the most obscure, please. Best of luck.

OK. Thanks, Richard. Let's reveal our five actors who've played Dracula and here they come.

We have got...

-In fact, playing Dracula, at the time of the pictures, which is nice.

-Nice, isn't it?

Michael and Sian, you've scored the lowest throughout the show so far, so you get to go first.

-OK, go for your choice.

-OK.

We're not great on this, I have to say.

I'm thinking "D" might be Peter Cushing.

-"D" - Peter Cushing...

-I think so.

..Say Sian and Michael.

Lee and Mark, the board is yours. You can talk us through all of them.

Pick which one you want to submit. You can go for "D", if you think that's an incorrect guess.

-Go we'll go "D" - Christopher Lee.

-"D" - Christopher Lee.

So, Michael and Sian thought "D" was Peter Cushing.

Let's see that's right and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Peter Cushing for "D".

Oooh!

An incorrect answer. Lee and Mark have come in on "D"

and said Christopher Lee. Christopher Lee - "D". Is that right?

Mark, it's right! That's all it had to be.

46, it happens to score.

APPLAUSE

But it was right, that was the main thing. Which means Lee and Mark are up 1-0. Richard.

Well played, Lee and Mark. That still is from the Satanic Rites Of Dracula.

-He's Nielsen, isn't he, "E"?

-He is.

-We couldn't remember his Christian name.

-It's Leslie Nielsen.

-Leslie Nielsen!!

-Of course!

That would have scored you 25 points, from Dracula: Dead And Loving It.

Now "A" is a Pointless answer. He's an actor who's considerably more famous now than in this,

-which is Dracula 2000. Do you recognise him at all?

-No.

-Gerard Butler.

-Oh, right!

-Gerard Butler, pointless answer.

"B" is Frank Langella.

Played the role on Broadway.

Would have scored you 3 points.

C is Bela Lugosi.

Bela Lugosi, whose life was dominated by Dracula.

-He was buried in his Dracula cape.

-Was he?

-Bela Lugosi.

-Lee's mum's got his book at home!

-Me dad's got his book!

18 points for Bela Lugosi and we've seen Christopher Lee, 46, and Leslie Nielsen, 25.

Thank you very much, Richard. So here comes your second question, Michael and Sian.

You need to win this question to stay in the game.

No pressure. Here it comes. It concerns...

New York City, Richard.

On this question we're going to give you five clues to facts about New York City.

Can you give us the most obscure fact up there, please?

OK, here come our five clues to facts about New York City. And we¹ve got...

I'll read those all one more time.

So then, Lee and Mark, you go first this time.

Obviously, we want the last popular answer.

The most obscure answer.

-Who renamed New York?

-Don't know.

THEY CONFER

We're going to go with the major league baseball team based in the Bronx.

We think it's New York Yankees.

New York Yankees, say Lee and Mark,

for the major league baseball team based in the Bronx.

-Michael and Sian.

-We're going...

-You have to win this point, remember.

Yeah, the pressure's on. We're fully aware of that.

-LAUGHTER

-We're used to it.

We're going after the previously named after this European city.

-New Amsterdam.

-Amsterdam.

Amsterdam, you are saying. So we have the New York Yankees and we have Amsterdam.

If Lee and Mark win this one, they are through to the final.

In the order they were given, Lee and Mark said the New York Yankees

for the major league baseball team based in the Bronx.

Let's see if it's right and, if it is, how many people said it.

It's right!

-SIAN:

-Oh, no!

16!

APPLAUSE

No, we won't beat that!

-We'll never beat that.

-16!

We thought that would be high.

Michael and Sian have said that the European city after which New York was renamed was Amsterdam.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, how many people said it. Will it beat 16?

It's right!

Now how far down's it going to go?

It's going to be close. Oooh! 26!

APPLAUSE

26! It's a great answer, but it doesn't beat the New York Yankees.

Which means after only two questions, Lee and Mark are through to the final, 2-0.

-Richard.

-Yeah, it never rains but it pours.

Sorry about that. There are a couple of answers up there that would have won you the point.

-Richard, was the borough Queens?

-It was Queens, yeah.

-What was that?

-That was 13 points.

So that would have beaten you.

Renamed New York during the reign of this Stuart king was Charles II.

Named it after his younger brother, the Duke of York. That was 2 points.

So very well done if you knew that. And the airport, of course, is JFK.

John F Kennedy airport, but that would only have scored you 80 points. Very well played, guys.

Thank you very much, Richard. So the losing pair at the end of the head-to-head are Michael and Sian.

ALL: Aaah!

Thank you.

-Pretty good performance. Actually, Peter Cushing let you down.

-It was.

-Peter Cushing. Yes, your Draculas could have been better.

-Mm.

-Yeah, could do better on vampires.

-But otherwise...

-I work with plenty of them, too!

LAUGHTER

That's a good point! Yeah. Well, I'm sorry we have to say goodbye.

It would have been fabulous to see you in the final, but that's the end of the road for Michael and Sian.

Excellent contestants! Thank you so much.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

But for Lee and Mark, it's now time for our Pointless Final.

Well, congratulations, Lee and Mark. You fought off all the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

-AUDIENCE: Woooh!

-Exactly!

LAUGHTER

-They've obviously seen it!

-Exactly.

-Do we get one each?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah!

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot for your nominated charities.

Now at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at...

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-How do you feel it's gone, Lee?

-The second half is definitely going to be better than the first half.

-We're warmed up.

-Yep!

-Ready to go.

-Any high points, Mark?

-No!

LAUGHTER

OK! Well, the rules are very simple. To win that money, all you have to do is find a pointless answer.

We've had no pointless answers today.

You only have to find one now and you'll leave with that money.

So you've got to choose a category from these five options.

They are...

-Oh!

-Ouch!

-Rock Music - not great.

-No.

-Magazine Awards.

-No.

-Winter Olympics, not great.

-We should really lean towards cities, cos we'll have been to a few.

-It doesn't necessarily follow, obviously.

-Let's do that.

-Cities it is?

-Yeah.

OK, here comes your question. We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name

as many European capital cities south of London as they could.

-Richard.

-You couldn't have better experience for this question than having travelled Europe

with Arsenal and Liverpool in the '80s and '90s.

We're looking for the capital city of any country which is wholly, or partly, in Europe.

The capital has to be south of London, please.

As always, by country, we mean a sovereign state that's a member of the UN.

OK, thank you very much. You now have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need is for just one of those answers to pointless

and you will win that jackpot of £2,500 for your nominated charity.

-Are you ready?

-No.

Let's put 60 seconds on the clock. There they are. Your time starts now.

-Right, got to go Lisbon.

-Mm.

-That's quite obscure.

-Paris, everyone will know Paris.

-I know what you said, but it's in the Champions League...

-I don't think we'll get that.

-We're doing Champions League grounds now.

-We're trying, but it's not easy.

-Erm, is Greece in Europe? Yeah, Greece is in Europe.

-Yeah.

-What's the capital of Greece?

-Athens.

-Yeah. I think that's...

-Erm...?

-And another.

-You've got 30 seconds yet!

-I know.

-Plenty of time.

-Athens, Lisbon. What else is in there?

-And...?

-Erm, Greece. Turkey.

-Malta.

-Yeah, yeah!

-What's the capital of Malta?

-Valletta.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-Bang!

-You sure?

-No!

LEE LAUGHS

-Yeah, I think so.

-It doesn't matter if it's wrong. We've just got to get a pointless answer.

-No, I think...

-Just trying to get the obscure one.

-Ten seconds left!

-Have you got your three answers?

-We have.

-OK, there we are. Your time is kind of up.

Well, we were looking for European capital cities south of London.

I now need your three answers.

-Lisbon.

-Lisbon.

-Which is probably our least...

-Erm, Athens.

-Athens.

-And then our jewel.

-We think it's a jewel, we hope. Valletta, Malta.

-Valletta.

-Lovely.

-It is if it's right!

-LAUGHTER

We'll discover. So of those three, Valletta¹s clearly your best shot at a pointless answer.

We'll put that one last. What's your least likely pointless answer?

-Lisbon.

-I don't know. I think...

-Athens?

-No, sorry. Yeah, Lisbon next.

-Lisbon.

-So...

-Lisbon and then Athens.

-OK, Lisbon, Athens, Valletta.

-I'm worried now about Valletta.

-Well, we'll find out...

-We will.

-..Very soon. OK, let's put them up on the board in that order. And here they are.

OK, we were looking for European capital cities south of London.

You said this was your least confident answer, Lisbon.

You only have to find one pointless, of course, to win that £2,500 for your charity.

Let's see. Is Lisbon right and, if it is, how many of our 100 people said Lisbon?

It's right!

This is where we discover how much our 100 people know about geography.

Down it goes. Still going down. 25!

APPLAUSE

-I thought... If we get lower than that, we'll be all right.

-Exactly.

And you knew that wasn't going to be pointless. So there you are, not a pointless answer.

You only have two more chances to win today's jackpot.

Now what are your charities?

Well, I'm doing a big cycle for Lawrence Dallaglio's Foundation.

Every two years, we do a big cycle. Coincidently, we're starting off in Greece,

at Olympia, and cycling all the way to Olympia in London.

Which sounded like a good idea at the time, but... So it's nearly 3,000km.

And all the money's going to the Lawrence Dallaglio Foundation,

-which this year is supporting prostate cancer research.

-Very good indeed.

APPLAUSE

-Lawro is not cycling with me!

-Yeah!

Well, good luck with the cycle. How long are you expecting it to take?

-Nearly four weeks.

-Every single day?

-I have to fly back to do Match Of The Day 2

-and then fly back out again.

-Are you going to be allowed to stand up for that?

-Yeah!

-Nice comfy sofa.

-Yeah. Mark, what are you going to be doing?

I'm going to lump in with Lee, cos it's such a good charity.

-I just want to see him absolutely knackered.

-Very, very well done.

Best of luck. We are looking for Europe capital cities south of London.

Let's hope nobody said your next answer, which is Athens.

It has to be correct, obviously, and pointless. Athens.

Is it right? How many people said it?

It's right!

So we went down to 25 with Lisbon.

Let's see if Athens can get us down lower.

Maybe even down into single figures. Oh, 25!

-Same!

-Well, you called that well.

APPLAUSE

Right, we're looking for European capital cities south of London.

Your third and final answer, Valletta.

You said this was your most confident shot at a pointless answer.

It has to be right and pointless. If it is both of those things, you will be leaving here with £2,500.

For the jackpot, Valletta. Is it right? How many people said it? Good luck.

OK, we've had 25 for Lisbon.

We had 25 for Athens.

Here we have, for the jackpot, £2,500, Valletta.

It's going down! Oh, no!

You're havin' a laff!

APPLAUSE

Can I just ask you something? Was it a Maltese man who just answered?

LAUGHTER

-Well, unfortunately, you didn't manage to find that all-important pointless answer.

-Oh!

I'm so sorry! So you don't go home today with the jackpot of £2,500.

However, as it's a celebrity special, we'll donate £500 to each celebrity pair for their charities.

APPLAUSE

-You was robbed!

-We were robbed!

-Richard.

So sorry, guys, it was a brilliant answer.

I'm going to show you the pointless answers. I almost guarantee you at some point in your career

you've played in a couple of these cities. Let's take a look.

The first two are of countries only a little bit in Europe.

Astana, which is the capital of Kazakhstan.

Baku, which is the capital of Azerbaijan.

Kiev, of course, the capital of Ukraine.

Ljubljana in Slovenia. Nicosia, Cyprus.

San Marino would have been pointless.

Tbilisi was a pointless answer as well. Vaduz is Liechtenstein.

And Yerevan, the capital of Armenia. All of those pointless answers.

There's also Chisinau of Moldova and Podgorica as well.

So tough question. Such a good answer, Valletta.

Unfortunately, we do have to say goodbye to you, Lee and Mark.

It's been fabulous having you on the show. Thank you so much. Brilliant sports!

APPLAUSE

You've done very well.

All that remains is for me to say thank you to our celebrity pairs,

Linda and Jenny, Camilla and Kevin and Michael and Sian.

And, of course, our finalists, Lee and Mark. Very well done.

APPLAUSE

Join us next time when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd