Episode 4 Pointless Celebrities

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Thank you very much. I'm Alexander Armstrong.

Welcome to a special celebrity edition of Pointless,

the quiz that puts obscure knowledge to the test.

Every question has been asked to 100 people before the show.

To be in with a chance of winning our jackpot,

our celebrities need the answers that the fewest of 100 people could remember.

Let's meet our Pointless celebrities.

APPLAUSE

And first up we welcome Michael and Sarah.

CHEERING

You're both well-known TV presenters but also good friends.

Sarah, you've presented Top Of The Pops.

Music, surely, you're going to have this one absolutely sewn up.

Well, one would hope but it depends what kind of music,

-because you only know it if you know it.

-That's true.

-You must have picked stuff up.

-So pop music now, I'm a bit old for.

-Really?

-I could be a bit lost there.

-I'm in trouble.

But if you ask me about Blur and Oasis, I'll be fine.

And Michael, you're an entertainment presenter.

Yeah, I've done loads of that, interviewing film stars and stuff.

Film is my thing, definitely.

Who's your favourite interviewee of all time?

Oh, er...

Probably Tom Hanks. He's made some amazing films, it was fantastic chatting to him.

And Jennifer Lopez.

Well, it's lovely having you here. Best of luck to the pair of you.

-Now, next we welcome Eamonn and Charlotte.

-Thank you.

CHEERING

We know you as a team from Sunrise on Sky News

but you've done so much, haven't you, between the pair of you?

Eamonn, you've hosted quizzes. Do you remember any of the answers?

Well, I remember once on Jet Set, this woman got to the final

and I would say, "Mary, this for the Jet Set.

"What bird is on the flag of Mexico?"

-Anybody know the answer?

-An eagle.

You say an eagle. She said Jennifer Lopez.

-Charlotte, how long have you been working together?

-Five years, now, doing the breakfast show.

-It just seems longer.

-A lot of early mornings, though.

-A lot. What time do you have to be in?

-I get up at quarter past three,

so that's quite an early start.

-Then we get in, get ready, go on air at six o'clock.

-Yeah.

-Wow.

-Anything can happen in those three hours,

so we reckon nothing's going to be a problem to us here tonight.

World events, wars, despots, politics - we've got it covered.

-We'll do it all.

-It all goes in...

-No problem.

-..and then we never remember it again.

-And out.

It's lovely having you here. Best of luck to you.

-And next we welcome Sam and Mark!

-Hello.

-CHEERING

-Come on. More.

Ah! Sam and Mark, welcome to the show.

Now, you first met on Pop Idol years ago.

Eight years ago.

-You must have been children.

-I was. You're a bit older than me.

I'm not that much older than you.

-Sam, you've got a band.

-Yes.

-I believe they're called Mason.

Yes. Just for fun. Bit of a hobby back home.

-How long have you been doing that for?

-For about three years.

-Just to keep my hand in with the music.

-Keep your hand in.

-Music could be a good topic for me.

-And you both present a radio show.

We try to. We just talk nonsense for two hours.

-Do you remember stuff about records, though?

-Not at all.

-Oh, we do.

No, we're not too bad.

I think music, probably for both of us, it's the one we'll be all right at.

-I think.

-Oh, don't say that.

-I've bigged that up, haven't I?

-Well, we'll see.

-Well, lovely to have you here.

-Thank you.

-Very best of luck.

And finally, we've got Tom and Denise.

CHEERS

Tom, one of our best-loved entertainers, Denise, one of our best-loved athletes.

Who, I wonder out there knows

that you are father-in-law and daughter-in-law?

-Not many people, I wouldn't have thought.

-Right.

Tom, you've been in my position many, many, many times.

You've hosted numerous quiz shows.

-How often have you been on that side of the podium?

-Not very often.

The problem, as you probably realise, is that people assume you know the answers.

I did 18 years of a show called Crosswits,

a crossword puzzle show.

And I was on a train trying to do a crossword

and a smart aleck drunk came up and he said, "If it's any help to you,

"7-Up's lemonade."

It's a problem.

Now, Denise, you've travelled the world with athletics,

so I'm expecting geography to be quite a strong suit for you.

I'm hoping so. I've been to some fabulous countries,

both in Europe and Asia.

So I'm hoping geography, sports...

She's very strong on Albanian mythology, as well.

-Sh!

-That could be the winner.

Anyway, Tom and Denise, very best of luck to you.

APPLAUSE

We look forward to discovering all your hidden knowledge.

There's only one person left for me to introduce, he's my Pointless friend, he's Richard.

Hiya. APPLAUSE

-Hello, there. Good afternoon to you.

-How are you?

-I'm extremely well.

-Should be a lot of fun, shouldn't it?

-Yeah.

-I like all of our pairs today...

-So do I.

-..I have to say

but especially, come on, Tom and Denise.

-Two legends.

-Yes!

-APPLAUSE

Two legends.

Of our other pairs, Sam and Mark, they act, do they not, like buffoons

-a lot of the time but...

-Fair comment. Fair comment.

..I happen to know for a fact they are both geniuses,

so they're going to be absolutely awesome in this show, I suspect.

-The rest might as well go home now.

-See you. See you.

OK, well, thank you very much, Richard.

We put all our questions to 100 people but this is Pointless,

so we are after the obscure answers.

To stay in the game, our celebrities need to score as few points as they can.

Everyone's trying to find a pointless answer,

an answer that none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens we will add £250 to the jackpot.

As each of our celebrities is playing for a nominated charity,

we will start off the jackpot this afternoon at £2,500.

APPLAUSE

-Right, let's play Pointless.

-CHEERS

In the first round, each of you must give me one answer

and you cannot confer with your partner.

The team with the highest score at the end of the round will be eliminated.

OK, our first category this afternoon is:

Decide who's going to go first and who's going to go second.

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many flightless birds as they could.

Richard?

The correct answers on the boards will be birds either alive or extinct

that cannot or do not fly.

The incorrect answers won't be birds at all.

Just to make it easy.

Is that OK?

Look at Sam and Mark pretending to be buffoons, again.

OK, now, Michael and Sarah, you all drew lots before the show -

you get to go first.

You'll be delighted to hear that we're going to give you a choice of seven possible answers

for each pass.

Your first set of seven answers reads like this.

I'll read those all one more time.

I can tell you at least one of those answers is pointless

but at least one is incorrect.

Pick an incorrect one and you will score 100 points.

What do you think, Michael?

-I'm going to go for the Fidrych.

-The Fidrych.

-The Fidrych.

-Of course!

-It's a beautiful species.

Let's see if it's right and if it is, let's see how many people said fidrych.

-HE GROANS

-Oh, no! There goes beginner's luck.

-That is disaster.

-I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer,

which means you've scored the maximum 100 points.

That's fine.

Sorry, Michael. I'm afraid Mark "The Bird" Fidrych is a baseball player.

-Oh!

-Sorry.

OK, now, Charlotte. Flightless birds.

I'm going to have a bit of a guess

but hopefully not as much of a guess as Michael's guess.

So I'm going to go for the Junin grebe.

Let's see if it's right and if it is, let's see how many people said Junin grebe.

It's right!

Well done, Charlotte, I've a feeling it's going a long way down.

-And it does! That's brilliant.

-CHEERING

Well done, Charlotte, that's a pointless answer

and that adds £250 to today's jackpot,

which takes it up to £2,750 and it scores you nothing.

Very well done indeed.

Very good answer, Charlotte. A great start.

It's native to just one lake in central Peru.

It's estimated there are only 100 Junin grebe left in the whole world,

so I would hurry up if you want to shoot one.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Now, then, Sam, what are you thinking? Flightless birds.

It's not one of my strong points, flightless birds,

but I think I'm going to go with dodo

because I believe that they're now extinct

and I believe that they're extinct because people ate them

and they tasted rubbish, so they were a rubbish bird,

so they probably can't fly because they're that rubbish.

That's my theory.

See, I told you. Genius.

Genius.

I'm sorry, dude.

You're trying to score as few points as possible, Sam,

-and you've gone for dodo.

-Yeah.

OK, let's see if dodo's right and if it is, how many people said it.

It's right.

63.

-63 for dodo, Sam.

-Very well played, Sam. It's better than 100, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-An extinct bird of Mauritius,

first seen in 1507 by Portuguese sailors

and completely extinct about 150 years later.

Denise, remember, we're looking for flightless birds.

Ha... I'm going to go for cassowary.

Let's see if it's right and if it is, how many people said cassowary.

Very good luck, Denise.

It's right.

Down it goes.

Six! Very well done, indeed, Denise.

Cassowary, a great answer, scores you six.

Very well played, Denise, a great answer to end that pass with.

-They can kill humans, cassowaries.

-Get out of town.

No, they can.

With what?

-They've got large, slashing feet.

-What, with their feet?

-Yeah.

-They can kill with their feet.

-They slash...?

-Yeah.

-Oh, my God, there's one now!

-No! Where?

-That wasn't a cassowary.

-That was no cassowary.

Let's go through the rest of the board.

Ostrich. You did very well to avoid it, Denise. It scored 75 points.

Kiwi, also a flightless bird, would have scored you 28.

Calayan rail. Do you think that's a pointless answer or is it incorrect?

I think it's a pointless answer.

You are absolutely right. It was discovered accidentally in 2004.

-Accidentally?

-Yeah.

Isn't that what a discovery is?

APPLAUSE

A pointless answer. Well done if you said that or the Junin grebe.

Thank you very much, Richard. Let's take a look at the scores.

Charlotte and Eamonn, the best possible score, there - nothing.

We go up to six for Denise and Tom,

then up quite a long way to 63, where we find Sam and Mark,

and then, I'm afraid, all the way up to the very top,

where we find Michael and Sarah on 100.

OK, we're going to come back down the line. Can the second players please take their places?

We've got seven more answers.

We're looking for flightless birds and we have got:

I'm going to read those one more time.

At least one of those answers is pointless

and at least one of those answers is incorrect.

An incorrect one will score 100 points.

Tom, you're on 6, the high scorers are Sarah and Michael on 100.

If you can score 93 or less, you are through to the next round.

I'm confident of this next one.

I know half of these people.

I'm going to go for emu.

Emu.

If you come below that red line,

you are definitely through to the next round.

Is it right and how many people said it?

It is right and you've done it.

Very well done. 66 points. That takes your total up to 72.

Well played. That's exactly the right tactic. You're safely through.

It can run up to 30mph, an emu.

-Mark.

-Hello.

-You're on 63.

The high scorers on 100 are Sarah and Michael,

that means if you can score 36 or less,

you are through to the next round.

I want to go for kakapo.

Kakapo.

Because it makes me laugh.

Kakapo. Is it right and how many people said it?

Yes, it's right. Very well done, Mark.

And you're through to the next round.

And it's pointless! Look at that!

That's a fabulous answer. It adds another £250 to today's jackpot.

It takes the total up to £3,000.

It scores you nothing, Mark, and it leaves your total at 63.

Very well done.

I need a kakapo after that.

-Whoo!

-Very well played, Mark.

The kakapo is a very tame, very endangered, very cute bird from New Zealand.

There we are. Eamonn, you're on absolutely nothing.

Sarah and Michael are on 100.

If you can score 99 or less, you will get through.

That's enough to get you through

but that will bruise your pride, I think.

Indeed. Now, rhea is either a flightless bird

or it's the man that made that record Road To Hell

and we're going to find out what road I'm going on right now with rhea.

Let's see if rhea's right and if it is, how many people said rhea.

It's right. Very well done, Eamonn.

Down it goes to 17.

-I knew that.

-That's a great answer, Eamonn.

-Everybody knows that.

That scores you 17. It takes your total to 17.

-You're through to the next round.

-Well played.

The rhea is native to South America.

It's sometimes called the pampas ostrich.

Thank you very much, Richard.

-Sarah.

-Yeah.

-You're the high scorers and you haven't even answered yet.

I bet there's another pointless answer. Find it and that's your legacy.

-Yeah but what happens if I get the wrong answer?

-Your legacy.

Because then we really are rubbish.

You're only as rubbish as me, so that would be fine.

-You can't do worse than I did.

-They look like footballers.

I'm going to go with... He sounds like a composer, maybe. Wahrer, at the top.

-I can't even say it.

-Wahrer.

-Yeah.

I can take my shoes off in moments, though, which is brilliant because they're hurting me.

Wahrer. Is it right and how many people said it?

-Oh, no!

-GROANS

It's all right.

-Yes, unfortunately...

-Excuse me, can I get my coat?

-Have you called the taxi?

-You have scored the maximum of 100 points.

You have joined that select and august body,

the Pointless 200 Club.

-Richard.

-Ah, that's very unlucky. I'm sorry.

-Unlucky or just rubbish?

-Do you know what? Unlucky.

We'll go with that, we'll go with that.

Do you know the song Surfin' Bird?

-# Everybody's heard about... # That one?

-Yeah.

-That's sung by Steve Wahrer. He was the singer of that song.

-Really?

-Of the Trashmen.

If you'd said takahe, you'd have just added £250 to the jackpot

because that is a pointless answer.

The weka is a flightless bird from New Zealand.

Actinidia is actually the Latin name for the kiwi fruit. Actinidia.

-Well, there you are.

-As Sam and Mark would have both told you.

Yeah.

Thanks, Richard. So at the end of round one, the losing pair are Michael and Sarah.

Oh, dear. You've gone out with a bang, I have to say.

-Haven't we, though?

-If you're going to lose, lose big.

-Yeah.

-That's what we said before we came in.

-Yeah.

If we're going to lose, let's do it big.

It's honourable to go out with a big score

because it means you've got into the spirit of the game and taken risks

and you've nearly done brilliantly, you've just...

Very good. Michael and Sarah, thank you so much for joining us

for this special celebrity edition. It's been lovely. Michael and Sarah.

CHEERING

But for the remaining three pairs, it's time for round two.

Now there's only going to be room for two celebrity pairs in the head to head,

so one team will be leaving at the end of this round.

Our category for round two this afternoon is:

Decide who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first please step up to the podium.

OK, so our round two question concerns:

Film title characters and their actors. Richard?

On each pass, we're going to show you the names of six films named after their title characters.

We asked 100 people to name the actor who played those characters.

If you give us a nice obscure answer, you'll score fewer points.

An incorrect answer scores 100 points.

So there's 12 films in all, 12 actors for you to get at home.

-Best of luck.

-OK, thank you very much.

We're looking for the actors who played these title characters.

I'll read those all one more time.

There they are. There are the title characters.

We need the names of the actors who played them.

You want to find the one that the fewest of our 100 people knew.

So, Charlotte.

Yes. I will go for -

-and if I get this wrong, I'm going to be in very big trouble...

-Mm-hm.

..Rooster Cogburn and John Wayne.

John Wayne for Rooster Cogburn.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people knew that answer.

It's right.

It's a very, very good answer, Charlotte.

Very well done. 21 points.

Er, yeah, a very good answer, Charlotte. It was John Wayne's penultimate film in 1975.

He'd played Cogburn in True Grit years before that, as well.

Now, then, Mark.

I'm going to go for Michael Clayton and George Clooney, please.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many said George Clooney for Michael Clayton.

It's right.

Very, very well done, Mark.

-CHEERING

-Very, very good answer.

-Eight points for George Clooney.

-Well played, Mark. Very good answer.

From 2007. Tilda Swinton won Best Supporting Actress for that film.

Now, then, Denise.

We're looking for the actors who played these title characters

in these films.

So Forrest Gump, very obvious - Tom Hanks.

Mary Poppins, that's a classic. Julie Andrews.

But I'm thinking I'm going to go with Erin Brockovitch

and Julia Roberts.

Julia Roberts, Erin Brockovitch.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many people knew that answer.

It's right.

Ooh!

Ooh, that's high. 71 for Erin Brockovitch, Julia Roberts, Richard.

Yeah, a pretty big score. From 2000. She won the Best Actress Oscar.

Erin Brockovitch herself also appeared in the film as a waitress.

Let's go through the rest of the board.

Forrest Gump would have scored you more. Tom Hanks scored 77.

Mary Poppins was probably the answer to go for. It would have scored 57.

You're absolutely right with Julie Andrews.

Alice Adams, that's from 1935, it's a pointless answer,

she was nominated for an Oscar for this role.

Very well done if you said Katharine Hepburn.

Well, thank you very much, Richard. Let's take a look at the scores.

Mark and Sam on eight.

Then we go up to 21, where we find Charlotte and Eamonn,

then up to 71, where we find Denise and Tom.

So, Tom, you're going to have to find a really obscure answer.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK, we're going to put six more title characters from movies on the board

and here we go.

We have got:

I'll read those all one more time.

Now, remember, we're looking for the actors who played these title characters

and you're trying to find the one that the fewest of our 100 people knew.

Now, then, Tom, you're the high scorers on 71.

I only know the ones pre-war and there's none of them up there.

I'll say Shirley Valentine, Pauline Collins.

Is it right? How many people knew that?

Pauline Collins, Shirley Valentine.

It's correct.

Very well done. Very well done indeed.

That's perfect, Tom.

Exactly what you needed. It takes your total up to 86.

-15 for Shirley Valentine.

-Well played, Tom. You've given yourself a chance.

-Based on the Willy Russell play.

-There you go.

Sam, the high scorers are Tom and Denise on 86.

You're on eight. That means if you can score 77 or less,

you're in the head to head.

OK. I'm going to go with Happy Gilmore, Adam Sandler.

Happy Gilmore, Adam Sandler, you're saying.

Here's a red line. Look how high it is.

If Adam Sandler gets you below that, you're through.

Come on, Adam, come on, Adam.

You've done it! Very well done.

-35.

-APPLAUSE

A great score. 35 takes your total up to 43. Richard.

-Well played, Sam. You know what? I sort of knew you'd go for Happy Gilmore.

-Yeah.

Adam Sandler plays an ice hockey player who takes up pro golf.

Thank you very much, Richard. Now then, Eamonn.

Eamonn, the high scorers on 86 are Tom and Denise.

You are on 21. That means if you can score 64 or less,

you are in the head to head.

Well, the key to all of this is Bob Roberts.

I think it was a political film. Not sure, not sure.

If I knew the answer to that one, I'm sure I'd be in the head to head.

I'll go for Johnny Depp, Edward Scissorhands.

Johnny Depp, Edward Scissorhands. This is exciting.

There's your red line, Eamonn. That's it.

Below that red line you are in the head to head.

Anyway, let's see. OK.

Johnny Depp, Edward Scissorhands. How many people said it?

Down it goes.

AUDIENCE GROANS

74!

Bad luck, Eamonn. A very, very valiant try.

74 takes your total up to 95.

Unlucky, mate.

I love the fact that out of Tom O'Connor and Denise Lewis, Tom is the competitive one.

-He is!

-Eamonn, that's tough luck.

The answers that would have won it were Bob Roberts or Annie Hall.

Rocky Balboa scored 70, Sylvester Stallone.

-Annie Hall was Diane Keaton.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

That would have scored you six points.

Bob Roberts was a pointless answer. You're thinking of the right film.

The character he plays is a folk singer who runs a right-wing election campaign.

-Written and directed by Tim Robbins.

-Tim Robbins, yes.

-Very well done if you said that at home.

-Oh, well.

It's good for us because we've got to get up for work in an hour and a half.

We'd better to go. We'd better go. No hanging around.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So at the end of round two, we're losing Eamonn and Charlotte.

That seems so unfair.

Any last words you'd like to say? Any post mortem?

-Well, I think we did our best.

-You did incredibly well.

It's been great fun. Thank you for that.

-Well, thanks very much, Eamonn and Charlotte.

-Thank you for having us.

-Thank you.

CHEERING

For the remaining pairs, things get even more exciting

as we enter the head to head.

Very well done, Sam and Mark, Tom and Denise.

You've made it through to the head to head.

Only one pair can make it to the final and play for the jackpot,

which currently stands at £3,000.

CHEERING

Now here's how the head to head works.

Each question, each pair needs to give me just one answer and you can now confer.

If you come up with an answer that scores less than the other pair, you win that question.

The first pair to win two questions will play for the jackpot.

Let's play Pointless.

OK, here is your first question.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many two-word US states as they could.

-Richard.

-There are ten states in the USA whose name consist of two words.

We're looking for the most obscure of those, please.

See if you can get all ten at home.

Sam and Mark, you've played best so far, so you go first.

-OK.

-Two-word US states.

-Mm.

OK.

THEY WHISPER

-OK?

-We're going to go for New England.

-New England.

-Yeah.

-OK. New England from Sam and Mark. New England.

-LAUGHTER

-Tom and Denise, you can now talk out loud.

-Shall we go for the one we were going to go for?

-Yeah.

-Shall we do that?

-Yeah. Go for it.

-We've got another life if we lose.

We'll have, please, New Mexico.

New Mexico. New England, New Mexico.

Sam and Mark, you went for New England. Let's see if that's right

and if so, how many people said it.

-LAUGHTER

-Stop laughing.

-GROANING

-Oh!

-I thought I could trust you with that!

-It's an incorrect answer,

which mean, Tom and Denise, you merely have to be correct.

It just has to be right.

New Mexico. Is it right? How many people said it doesn't matter.

Is it right?

It's right. Very well done, Tom and Denise.

-26.

-APPLAUSE

A great answer and more importantly, a correct answer.

That means, Tom and Denise, you are up, one nil.

-Richard.

-Well played, Tom and Denise.

New England is a collection of six states.

-Good.

-Let's take a look at all ten of them, see how well you did at home.

West Virginia would have scored 16, as would Rhode Island.

New Hampshire, that's also in New England. There's New Mexico.

New Jersey, 28.

North Dakota, 32, South Dakota, 34,

South Carolina, 37, and North Carolina, 37,

and New York right at the top on 71.

Very well done if you got all of those at home.

Thank you very much, Richard. Here comes your second question.

-Sam and Mark, you have to win this question to stay in the game.

-OK.

-OK.

Here it comes. We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many characters from Bagpuss as they could.

Characters from Bagpuss, Richard.

There were ten characters who regularly appeared

in the children's TV series Bagpuss.

We won't accept Bagpuss himself, I'm afraid.

Oh.

That's a shame.

OK, Tom and Denise, you go first this time.

-I haven't got a clue.

-I haven't got a clue.

-I can remember...

-What?

-No.

I can just remember one of the...

what it looked like, one of the characters -

what they looked like but not a name.

Shall we go for...? Jemima.

Jemima, say Tom and Denise.

Sam and Mark.

Children's TV presenters.

-Wait a minute!

-Hang on, hang on. That's before our time.

-Let's have a word, here. Come on.

-Erm...

-Let's go with yours. Mr Biggles.

-Mr Biggles.

LAUGHTER

I think we've got more of a chance than they have.

In the order they were given, we have Jemima, say Tom and Denise.

Let's see if that's right.

-No.

-No.

-Mr Biggles. Let's see if that's right.

-Come on.

-Come on, made-up name.

Oh!

Well, there we are. That means after two questions, Tom and Denise are still ahead one nil.

Let's take a look at all the answers. The mice were the best answers.

Williemouse, Lizziemouse and Janiemouse scored nothing.

Jenniemouse and Eddiemouse, one. Charliemouse, two.

-And then Emily is the name of the little girl.

-Yeah.

-Jemima, Emily...

-That scored nine.

Gabriel, 11, Professor Yaffle, 12 and Madeleine, the rag doll, on 14.

OK, here comes your third question.

-Sam and Mark, you mustn't lose this question.

-No.

Here it comes. We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many male Grand Slam winners of the noughties as they could.

Male Grand Slam winners of the noughties. Richard.

We're looking for the name of any male tennis player

who's won a Grand Slam tournament from 2000 to 2010, please,

a Grand Slam being the Australian Open, French Open, Wimbledon and US Open.

OK, now, then, Sam and Mark. You go first this time.

Mr Biggles?

-Come on, this is your thing, sport.

-All right.

-It is sport, yeah?

-Yeah.

-Good.

-I've got one.

-OK. Sam and Mark.

We're going to go for Marat Safin.

OK. Tom and Denise? Marat Safin has gone.

I quite fancy... Fancy? Not really fancy but like the idea of going for

Goran Ivanisevic.

He's a vitch, she's a vitch, even he's a vitch.

Er, Sam and Mark, this is the one you have to win, remember, to stay in the game.

Let's see if you can. Marat Safin, you're saying. Marat Safin.

Is it right? How many people said it?

It is right.

CHEERING

Good, man. Good.

-Do you think that's low enough?

-I hope so.

I hope so. That was pretty obscure, Marat Safin.

We'll see.

Tom and Denise, Goran Ivanisevic.

Let's see if it's right and if it is, let's see how many people said Goran Ivanisevic.

It's right. Where's it going to stop?

Down it goes.

-You've done it!

-CHEERING

Oh, that's a fantastic answer.

Very, very well done, Tom and Denise.

-Spectacular answer, there.

-Oh!

-Wow. Good TV right here.

-Yeah.

That means, Tom and Denise, you are through to the final,

two-nil.

-Very well done.

-Well done.

CHEERING

That's amazing. Well done.

Coming on here thinking you're going to beat Tom O'Connor? I don't think so.

-No chance, no chance.

-I don't think so.

Safin won two Grand Slams, the US Open in 2000 and the Australian in 2005.

Ivanisevic won Wimbledon in 2001. He beat Henman on the way there.

Let's take a look at all the answers. There's some pointless answers.

Lleyton Hewitt was a pointless answer. He won two Grand Slams.

Juan Martin Del Potro won the US Open. He was pointless.

These next three won the French Open -

Juan Carlos Ferrero, Gaston Gaudio, the Argentine, and Albert Costa.

All those were pointless.

Thomas Johansson won the Australian Open.

Gustavo Kuerten won the French Open - one point.

There's Ivanisevic - one. Marat Safin, two, Andy Roddick, 3.

Some of the bigger names, now.

Novak Djokovic, 11, Andre Agassi, 17.

Pete Sampras, 20, and then Federer and Nadal, as you'd expect, at the top.

Roger Federer, 42, and Nadal, 43.

-Well done if you got any of the pointless ones.

-Thanks, Richard.

-So the losing pair at the end of the head to head, it's Sam and Mark.

-Oh!

-Oh, dear, oh, dear.

-APPLAUSE

But you were very close, even with Mr Biggles and New England.

-But, no, I think we did all right.

-Yeah.

-We can hold our heads high.

You have covered yourselves in glory.

And we've lost to an Olympian and an entertainment legend,

-so that's... eh?

-Can't say fairer than that.

Thank you, Sam and Mark. Brilliant to have you on the show. Thank you for playing.

CHEERING

But for Tom and Denise, it's now time for our Pointless final

and a chance to win our jackpot of £3,000.

CHEERING

Well, congratulations, Tom and Denise, you've fought off all the competition

and you have won our coveted trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot, which stands at £3,000.

-There we are.

-CHEERING

Now the rules are very simple. To win that money for your nominated charity,

all you have to do is find a pointless answer,

an answer that none of our 100 people could think of.

We've had two pointless answers today - you have to find one more to go home with that money.

Firstly, you've got to choose a category from these three options.

They are:

Sportsmen... That's luring us into the one,

-so it might be more difficult that we think.

-It's a trap.

-And the Oscars is a trap.

-And the Oscars...? Is it?

-It's all a trap.

-Shall we go for the comedians? Let's go for that.

-OK, then, female comedians.

-Yes, female comedians.

Female comedians it is. OK. Female comedians.

Let's find out what the question is. Good luck.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many female British Comedy Award winners as they could.

Female British Comedy Award winners.

-Richard.

-We're looking for females, alone or as part of a double act,

who've won any category in the British Comedy Awards, including lifetime achievement,

between 2000 right through to 2011, please.

OK. You now have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that £3,000 for your nominated charity

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

Your 60 seconds start now.

OK, there's Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders,

those are the obvious ones.

-June Whitfield could be a rank outsider.

-June Whitfield.

Erm... Who else?

Let's think, let's think. British. Erm...

I don't think Meera Syal, no.

Erm... Anyone else you can think of?

-Victoria Wood.

-Victoria Wood.

Would that be pointless?

Erm... Other female British, British, British, British...

Oh, what about erm...? Oh, I just forget her name.

What's the time?

Oh... Oh, what is her name?

-We've got to give three answers anyway.

-Yes.

So shall we go for...? Do you want to go for June Whitfield as an outsider?

Yes, I think so.

So June Whitfield... We've got to go for another two.

-Dawn French.

-Victoria Wood.

-Five seconds.

-Victoria Wood.

You're happy with those?

OK, there is your minute up.

We were looking for female British Comedy Award winners.

I now need your three answers.

We're going for an outsider.

-The outsider one we fancy is June Whitfield.

-June Whitfield.

-Victoria Wood.

-Victoria Wood.

-And Dawn French.

-Dawn French.

-And Dawn French.

Of those three, which do you think is your best shot at a pointless answer?

I think June Whitfield because... Yeah, I think so.

OK, June Whitfield we'll put last.

Which is least likely to be pointless?

-Oh, Dawn French.

-Dawn French. We'll put her first.

OK, let's put them up on the board in that order and here they are.

There they are.

OK. We were looking for female British Comedy Award winners.

You said this was your least confident answer,

the one that's least likely to be pointless.

You only have to find one pointless answer to win that £3,000 for your charity.

Let's see. Dawn French. Is it right? How many people said Dawn French?

It's right! That was the first thing it had to be.

If this goes down to zero, your charity...

-Oh!

-APPLAUSE

That's about right.

But you knew that was going to be a high-scoring one,

that's why you put it first.

That was just to hold the place and clear the barrels.

Not a pointless answer. You have two more chances to win the jackpot.

-What are your charities?

-Breast Cancer Care.

I'm an ambassador of the charity, a fantastic charity

to help people fight breast cancer, obviously.

Very good indeed. Tom, how about you?

-I'm with the boss.

-You're with the boss.

-So Breast Cancer Care.

-Yes.

-An excellent charity. Very good.

Let's hope one of these two remaining answers will win that jackpot for them.

We were looking for female British Comedy Award winners.

Let's hope nobody said your next answer.

There it is. Victoria Wood.

Dawn French went down to 55. Let's see how Victoria Wood does.

This for the jackpot of £3,000.

Is Victoria right? How many people said it?

It's right.

It's right, so let's see if it goes down lower than Dawn French.

Yes, it does. Down it goes.

-Ooh, 21!

-APPLAUSE

21 for Victoria Wood.

This is all moving very much in the right direction.

-Come on!

-Come on, June Whitfield.

-HE LAUGHS

-Everything hangs on June Whitfield.

Let's see if it is right

and if it is right, let's see if it's pointless. June Whitfield.

Very best of luck. Is it right? How many people said it?

-Oh, no!

-GROANS

Oh, no. Bad luck.

Unfortunately, you didn't manage to find that all-important pointless answer,

so you don't win today's jackpot of £3,000

but you do get to take home our Pointless trophy,

-so there you are.

-APPLAUSE

-So, Richard?

-June Whitfield won a lifetime achievement award but in 1994,

so quite a long time before the years we were looking for.

Let's take a look at some of the Pointless answers here.

Ashley Jensen won for Extras.

Charlotte Church won Best Comedy Newcomer in 2006.

-Are you serious?

-I am. I didn't vote for her.

LAUGHTER That was pointless.

Jessica Stevenson won for Spaced. That was pointless.

Katherine Parkinson won for The IT Crowd.

Liz Smith, of course, won for the Royle Family.

Ramona Marquez, who's the child in Outnumbered,

she won a Best Newcomer Award.

Ruth Jones, who won Best Comedy Newcomer as well.

Samantha Spiro from Grandma's House

and Sharon Horgan, who won for Pulling.

So very bad luck, guys. You played so brilliantly throughout

-and you've been a pleasure to have on the show.

-Thank you.

Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to you

but as Richard said, it's been such a joy.

You've been brilliant contestants. Tom and Denise!

-APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

-Thank you.

-Wonderful.

Thank you to our other pairs, Michael and Sarah, Eamonn and Charlotte

and Sam and Mark.

WHOOPING

Nobody's won our jackpot today, so to thank our celebrities for taking part,

we're going to donate £500 to each pair for their charity.

Thank you.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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