Experts Pointless Celebrities

Thank you very much, indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong

and a very warm welcome to this special "Experts" edition

of Pointless Celebrities - the show where the more obscure

your knowledge, the better your chances of winning.

Let's meet today's Pointless celebrities.

And couple number one.

I'm John Howard, I'm a meteorologist

and I work at the BBC Weather Centre.

And I'm Laura Tobin and I'm also a meteorologist

and I work at Good Morning Britain.

Couple number two.

I'm Vicki Butler-Henderson,

I'm a racing driver and a motoring presenter for Fifth Gear.

I'm Tiff Needell, another racing driver

and another presenter for Fifth Gear.

Couple number three.

Hello, I am Amanda Lamb and I am a TV property presenter

and a lover of very loud wallpaper

-and loud dresses.

-LAUGHTER

And I'm Martin Roberts, probably best known for presenting

Homes Under The Hammer, but I'm also a children's book author.

And finally, couple number four.

I'm Kieran Long, I'm a presenter of The House That 100K Built

and a curator at the Victoria and Albert Museum.

I'm Piers Taylor, I'm an architect

and I'm also a presenter on The House That 100K Built.

Thanks very much, all of you.

A very warm welcome to Pointless, it's great to have you here.

We'll get to chat to each of you throughout the show as it goes along.

So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

Just when you thought you've found the perfect fact,

he's guaranteed to gazump you.

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya.

Hi, everybody. Evening.

-Good evening to you.

-Good evening.

So, a line-up of experts.

-Yes.

-But experts in what, is the question.

Are they experts in the questions ahead of us?

Lovely to have all of you here.

I'm especially delighted to have Martin here.

I've wanted him to come on for such a long time.

The two great houses of BBC daytime television,

Pointless and Homes Under The Hammer, finally, finally married, which is fantastic.

Do you know what? There are 21 series in the box set.

That's a box set worth buying!

And round about season three or season four, there's some...

No spoilers, but goodness me,

there is a semi in Barnsley you'll want to see.

LAUGHTER

Round One is the sort of round you should be rather good at, if,

say for example, your job involves going around the country

all the time for the last 13 years to different places.

You should be rather good at it,

-I would say.

-Excellent. Thanks very much.

Now, as usual, all of today's questions have been put to

100 people before the show. Our celebrities here are looking

for those all-important pointless answers.

These being answers that none of our 100 people gave.

Find one of those, it will add 250 quid to the jackpot.

Now, as today's show is a celebrities special,

each of our celebrities is playing for a nominated charity.

So, we're going to start off with a jackpot of £2,500.

There we are.

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

All you have to remember is this -

the pair with the highest score at the end of each round will be

eliminated. So, make sure your scores are as low as you can

possibly make them. Best of luck.

No conferring in the first two rounds.

Our first category this evening is...

UK Geography. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many UK cities

with six or more letters as they could.

UK cities with six or more letters.

-Richard.

-We're looking for any officially designated UK city

with six or more letters. As always, the Queen essentially decides what's a city.

There we are, thank you very much indeed.

Now, Laura, a very warm welcome to the show.

Now, you studied meteorology and physics.

-Yes.

-So, you did the science of weather. At what point did you think,

"I'm going to take this one step further, I'm going to present this"?

Well, I was working at the RAF and then they were desperate for

somebody to cover the BBC Weather Centre,

so I went along and they had me and then I never left.

And I've been in telly for seven years now, so it just kind of happened.

So, nothing to do with the Met Office, or...?

-So I was working for the Met Office.

-For the Met Office?

-Forecaster for pilots flying all over the world.

-Right, I see.

Yeah, crucial that you're there doing that.

I mean, just be honest, when you were going to make the leap over,

did you rehearse at all, with the...?

-With the left arm?

-Well, just sort of knowing how to do it.

-It's left arm, is it?

-It is the left arm, yeah.

It just shows how little rehearsal I've done!

It's all about just being in the mirror

and everything being backwards, and it's really confusing.

So, the map, you kind of figure out quite quickly,

but the hair on the wrong side of your face,

-that's a difficult one, yeah.

-Yeah, I find that.

LAUGHTER I get that all the time.

Yeah. Laura, what would you like to go for?

I'm going to go for the home of the Met Office and Exeter.

Exeter, as it says on the sign - home of the Met Office.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Exeter.

It's right.

Look at that. Very well done indeed. 11.

Excellent start to the show, Laura.

Phew!

That's a terrific start, Laura.

So hard on that first podium as well.

The beautiful city of Exeter.

Six letters. It's all you need.

It's all you need. Three of them E, 50% E.

-They are rocking that E, aren't they?

-Aren't they?

-Exeter.

-Yes.

There we are. Vicki, welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you very much.

-Lovely to have you here.

Now, what age did you decide that you were going to get

into motor sport?

Well, I had been driving tractors since I was tiny on my dad's farm

and he was a racing driver when he was younger,

so I started racing 100cc karts from when I was 12

and I still race today.

So, I suppose that option was always open, the racing option?

I think that was the only option that Dad had for me.

I had a younger brother who came, eventually he came along,

but for the meantime, I was Dad's son. Ha!

Hilarious. But that must be lovely though, because you clearly loved it.

Honestly, I get such a big passion from sliding a car sideways,

or racing with other people.

I just love it. I'm really, I'm a pretty poor wife.

I can't cook, I can't iron, but I can drive a car.

-Fantastic.

-It's all my husband wants!

Vicki, what would you like to go for, what city?

Could I try Oxford, please?

Oxford, says Vicki.

OK, let's see if it's right.

Everyone's going... HE MUMBLES

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Oxford.

It's right.

Well, 11 is our only score so far.

Let's see how Oxford

and Exeter compare.

16 for Oxford.

Not bad at all.

Well played. We're having a very good round of British cities with an

-X in their name at the moment, aren't we?

-Aren't we just?

-Yeah.

Aren't we just? Can we keep that up for the whole round, I wonder?

Martin, welcome to Pointless, good to have you here.

-Lovely to be here.

-Now, you've been a property journalist, haven't you,

for a long time now?

-Yeah.

-And you've written property columns for all sorts of famous

publications and, obviously, Homes Under The Hammer.

Have you ever had a sort of commercial interest?

I do, I don't think I could do what I do if I didn't at the weekends...

I was going to say, you have to be involved in that.

I paintbrush and I dig and I use large machinery and stuff, yeah.

You're a developer, really?

-Yeah, basically.

-Well, that's fun.

And Homes Under The Hammer just goes on and on and on.

13 years, I think it is now.

1,250 programmes.

-That's nearly as many as we've done!

-Most of them in Stoke!

-That's convenient.

-Not enough letters, though.

-Don't want that. No!

-LAUGHTER

Martin, what would you like to go for?

I'm going to go for Hereford.

Hereford, says Martin.

Hereford. Let's see how many of our 100 people liked Hereford.

It's right.

Well, our high score at this point is 16,

our low score is 11.

You passed both! Hereford, down to 4.

Down to 4! Look at that!

Another beautiful city, yeah, on the River Wye.

You must have been to every major town in Britain, surely.

-I think so.

-Well chosen.

Thanks. Piers, welcome.

-Hello.

-Welcome. Now, as an architect,

do you remember when you first decided to go into architecture?

-I read that your dad was a ship designer?

-That's right, he was.

He designed container ships and my mother was a designer,

and somehow the two met and we always lived in interesting places.

I was always interested in buildings and houses and, you know, cities.

And it was a natural thing, really, to become an architect.

And then sort of taking architecture to television, as well,

is another interesting... A whole new...

Well, I think I built a house for myself about ten years ago

and because I knew how hard it was, I think I got a call from

the producers of The House That 100K Built

and they said to me, would I be interested in helping Kieran

help other people build houses. So, absolutely, it was...

Fantastic. And you've got a house in Hundred Acre Wood?

-That's right.

-That is wonderful.

Do you ever come across Winnie the Pooh?

-Occasionally, yes!

-But how exciting.

You're right in the middle of the wood?

Well, we are. And when we built the house, we had to carry everything

half a mile, half a kilometre, actually, down a woodland track.

-Yeah.

-So, when we built it, we had no access to the house.

And five years ago, we and our neighbours bought the whole wood.

-Right.

-And now we can access it.

-Very nice.

Now, Piers, what would you like to go for?

I would like to go for St David's.

St David's, says Piers.

-Smallest city.

-Oh, listen to that buzz. Did you hear?

Did you hear? We sometimes get it.

I don't know what makes that sound, but...

Anyway, St David's, says Piers. Let's see if it's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for it.

It is right.

Well, 16's still our high score.

4 now our low score.

10! Oh!

St David's, scoring high there.

Yes, one of those ones people remember because it's Britain's

smallest city, I think is the thing. It was awarded city status in 1995.

-It's been around since the fourth century.

-Thank you very much.

Thank you. We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a quick look at those scores.

4, the best score of that pass.

Hereford, smiling on you there, Martin.

Very well done indeed. Then we travel up to 10,

where we find Piers and Kieran.

Then up to 11, where we find Laura and John.

Then miles up to 16... LAUGHTER

..where we find Vicki and Tiff.

It was a brilliant answer!

Listen, I'm saying all the low fruit's been picked here.

Tiff, I think, when we come to the next pass, it could all change,

but what we need from you is a low-scoring answer.

Good luck with that. Going to come back down the line.

Can the second players, please, step up to the podium?

So, Kieran, remember, we're looking for UK cities with six or more

-letters...

-OK.

-..in their names.

Kieran, you are...

I mean, at the age of 17,

you have become the curator of architecture at the V&A.

-Yes.

-That's an enormous honour.

It's an amazing place. I walk around with a big ring with keys on it and

unlock the little.... No, I don't, really.

I run a wonderful team of people, yeah, at the V&A.

It's a wonderful place to work.

I mean...a curator, I imagine, kind of looks after the collection

that is there and arranges for touring exhibitions

and things like that. In the case of architecture, though, quite hard

to tour architecture.

We've got big bits of buildings in store, believe it or not, at the V&A.

We've got a replica of Trajan's Column at one-to-one scale,

so we've got big bits of stuff.

-Yeah. It's good fun.

-Big bits of stuff.

You see, you heard the curator himself.

That's a technical term curators use, usually professionally.

Very exciting indeed. Now, Kieran, you are on 10.

-Yes.

-The highest scorers are on 16, Tiff and Vicki.

If you could possibly score 5 or less, we'd be looking at a...

an assured place for you in the next round.

My answer is Salford.

Salford. Salford.

Noticeable absence of buzz, I notice,

but there we are, Salford. Here is your red line.

Get below that red line with Salford,

you are through to the next round.

Let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

Oh, I think you'll be going

through that red line.

Let's have a look.

Oh, and you do. Look at that. 2.

It's only the best score of the round so far, Kieran,

and it takes your total up to 12.

Sees you very comfortably into Round Two. Well done.

That's a terrific answer. Very well played.

It's where the BBC have got a big, new headquarters, up in Salford.

Thanks very much indeed.

Now, Amanda,

you were an estate agent before you became a television property expert.

I was indeed. Yes, for five years in a city.

-Portsmouth.

-But much more excitingly,

you were the model for Scottish Widows.

I was. Yes.

For ten years.

I got it when I was 22.

So, I was a very young widow then and...

It was the most incredible advert to be a part of

and probably the two that most people would remember would be

-the maze one and then, there was one in a lighthouse.

-That's right.

-They're the two I remember, yeah.

-The lighthouse was shot

in La Rochelle in France by David Bailey,

so it was terribly glamorous and they'd built a replica of the

top of a lighthouse for me to sort of swan around enigmatically.

But in order to get to the replica,

I had to climb up a ten-foot ladder

in the cloak, with five-inch stilettos on

and a very tiny, little, black, tight dress

and I managed to get up to the top, and I managed to get one leg over...

and then I got stuck.

And they had to get two French firemen to come and help me.

-Shame, eh?

-Yeah. Oh, what a hardship(!)

-Yeah, they get to the top,

IN A FRENCH ACCENT: "She does not appear to be stuck at all.

"She seems to be completely fine."

-But it was lovely.

-Amanda, there you are, you're on 4.

The high-scorers still Tiff and Vicki,

which means if you can score 11 or less, you're into the next round.

When I knew I was coming onto the show,

the thought of doing geography, considering what I do -

along with Martin - for a living, geography's my weakest subject.

So, yeah, I'm going to say...

..I'm going to say Norwich and hope to God it's a city.

Norwich, says Amanda.

Here is your red line.

If you get below that with Norwich,

Round Two awaits.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Norwich.

-Oh, thank God.

-It is a city...

It's not looking too bad.

-Oh!

-29.

29, taking your total up to 33.

Well, I don't know, the round isn't over yet.

Absolutely. Yeah, granted city status in 1194, Norwich,

by Richard I,

-who was the first-ever Richard.

-Yeah.

I'm Richard the 14,867,421st.

Yeah. Thanks very much, Richard.

Tiff, you raced in Formula 3 and I was reading that there was something

about licensing that prevented you from racing Formula 1.

-Is that right?

-I got tripped up.

Yeah. I won a racing car in a magazine competition

when I was about 19 and seven years later, I was on the Grand Prix grid.

Before that, I did have a hiccup

when I was offered a Grand Prix drive and couldn't take it

because they'd just changed the classification, basically,

but I still did make the Grand Prix grid the year later.

-You did the year later?

-Yes.

-What's the difference between Formula 3

-then Formula Ford?

-You come up through...

From karts, you get into Formula Ford and then Formula 3,

then GP3 and GP2, and then GP1, which is Formula 1.

Nowadays, you have to get so many results in the lower format

to qualify for a Grand Prix licence.

This was the system they changed. Just when I had my big break,

it was snatched away from me.

Oh, I bet it was someone called Richard! It's my hunch.

Now, Tiff, we have a target. There is a target for you.

You've been the high-scorers for a long time now,

but you are no longer the high-scorers.

You have to equal Vicki's score.

So, 16 or less sees you into the next round, Tiff.

I've been round Britain three times.

Then you start doubting, "Are they cities?"

-Well, that's the trouble. Exactly.

-I'm going for Lincoln.

Lincoln. Here's your red line.

If you get below that with Lincoln,

you are through to the next round.

Let's see if it's right, let's see

how many of our 100 people said Lincoln.

It is right. Good city-picking.

And you're through. Look at that.

7. Very well done indeed.

23 is your total.

Very well played.

Well played, Tiff. Also a city that is a make of a car as well,

-so that's nice.

-That's just great.

-It's classy, isn't it?

-Yeah.

Nice. Thank you very much, Richard.

John, oh, look at that.

Thoughtful. We catch John in thoughtful mode.

Petrified, more like.

John, great to you have here.

I think I did read somewhere that your first interest in weather

-was at the age of four.

-Yeah.

-I mean, we all have an interest

in weather, we all want to know what it's going to be like tomorrow,

but what sort of interest did that take?

I was obsessed with watching the weather on the telly.

Preschool, Bert Foord was my hero from the '70s.

I wrote a letter to Bert Foord when I was about four, saying,

"Dear Bert, I'd like to be a weatherman one day."

And he kindly wrote back and said,

"You've got absolutely no chance." No, he said...

He said, "Yeah, you've got to work hard at school and get the

"qualifications and go to university,"

and all that sort of stuff.

-And, yeah, 30 years later...

-And you did it!

-The thing I've learned from that...

-Yeah.

..is that talent is overrated and, actually,

if you really drive yourself to achieve something...

-Persistence.

-..you'll probably get there.

Yeah, allied with talent, I would say.

-Just a bit of talent.

-I think, yes.

Now, talking of talent, I want to ask you about you playing guitar

-with Status Quo.

-Ah, yeah, biggest day of my life...

until today. When I was on the other side doing the weather,

one day, Quo came into the studios and, because I'm a massive Quo fan,

I went up to the green room and said,

"Francis, I'd love to have a jam with you,"

and he told me to go away.

But the next day, the manager e-mailed me and said,

"No, let's do it at Wembley."

So, I said, "Hello, Wembley," with the Quo.

-Onstage?

-Onstage.

-Could you play all three chords?

-All three.

Four, which is why they chucked me out.

John, this is exciting here.

-It really is.

-This is exciting. A lot of pressure on you,

because you must have used all these cities' names.

I was going to say St David's, but Piers got there first.

Well, there you are. You're on 11, you have to score 21 or less.

I trust you.

OK, here we go.

St Albans.

-Oh, that's correct. Shall we just go?

-Nicely done.

-Shall we just get our coats?

-Laying down St Albans there.

There is your red line.

St Albans needs to get below that red line.

If it does, you're into Round Two.

Let's find out how many of our 100 people said St Albans.

It's right.

You've done it. Look at that. There we go.

St Albans. 5. Very well done indeed.

Takes your total up to 16, sees you into Round Two.

That's a terrific answer. Well played.

Now, on podium three, Amanda, you should have gone with Portsmouth.

-You'd be through if you'd have said Portsmouth.

-You're joking me!

-No!

Would've scored you 13 points.

Oh, stop it! I grew up there and I thought,

"I won't do that because that's way too easy,

"everyone's going to say Portsmouth."

So, you decided to go for Norwich?

I can't tell you how much Martin hates me right now.

-I don't.

-I can just feel the anger.

Really, I don't.

To be fair, Martin also should've said Stoke, because it's Stoke-on-Trent

and that would've scored you fewer points as well.

There are some pointless answers out there.

St Asaph, in Wales, was a pointless answer.

Kingston-upon-Hull, which is the official name of Hull,

that's a pointless answer.

Litchfield is a pointless answer

and Lisburn also, in Northern Ireland.

1 point for Bangor, Lancaster and Wakefield.

2 points for Westminster, Stirling, Newport.

3 points for Armagh, Chelmsford, Stoke-on-Trent.

You'd have got 5 points for Worcester.

6 points for Salisbury, Inverness, Carlisle, Wolverhampton.

Those are the best answers. We'll take a look at the worst answers,

the one that most of our 100 people said...

There we are. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of our first round, the pair who will be heading home,

with their not terribly high score of 33,

it just happens to be higher than everybody else's,

I'm afraid it's Amanda and Martin. Far too soon to be sending you home.

-Short, but very sweet.

-All the colour is going.

-I can't believe it.

-Thank you for having us.

It has been lovely having you here. Thank you so much,

-Amanda and Martin.

-Thank you.

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And look, suddenly, we are down to three pairs.

Just like that. It's cruel, isn't it, this game?

At the end of this round, we'll have to lose another pair.

I'm sorry is all I can say.

I don't know which pair it's going to be, obviously, but I have to say,

on the strength of that round, Kieran, John, hats off to you.

Salford and St Albans, two fantastic answers.

And, Tiff, well done. Listen, you made it through.

It was brilliant. Lovely to have you all here.

Very best of luck for this next round.

Our category for Round Two this evening...

Shared Names. Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please, step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

-Oh, my God.

-People and bands that share names with authors.

-Richard.

-Yeah, we're going to show you six pairs of names now on the

board. One is going to be an author, the other's going to be a famous

person or a band. They each share part of their name.

We have blanked out the bit of the name that they share.

Just have to tell us the bit of the name that they share.

There's going to be 12 in all to

have a go at at home, so very best of luck.

We are looking for the blanked out word in each of these cases.

Here's our first board of six.

We have...

I've now got to read them again.

-OK, John.

-I only know one of them.

One's enough.

Um...Francesca Simon.

OK. Francesca Simon, or Simon.

Francesca Simon Le Bon. OK, let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for that.

It is right.

58.

Well, now, in the context of this round...

that might not be a bad score, 58.

Yeah, Francesca Simon and Simon Le Bon there.

She's sold over 14 million copies of the Horrid Henry books.

OK, lovely. Vicki, what would you like to go for?

I'd like to get out of the room and go away.

I think I will take...

..the word Martin,

for George RR Martin, Martin Freeman.

Very good indeed. Martin. Let's see how many of our 100 people went for

George RR Martin Freeman?

Well, it's right. 58 is our only score at this point and you pass it.

Look at that. Down it goes, still going down. 37.

Well done, Vicki.

Well done.

Yeah, someone who sold more than 14 million books, George RR Martin.

Thanks very much indeed.

-Kieran.

-Hello.

-This board is all yours. Do you want to talk through

it? Fill in all the blanks and select which one you want to submit.

Yeah. Well, I do know a couple of

these, so the question is,

which one is most obscure?

I think it's probably Burgess.

Anthony Burgess,

who wrote A Clockwork Orange.

That's what you're going to go for? So, Anthony Burgess Meredith.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's right. 58 our high score, 37 our low.

We pass the high score, we pass the low.

Look at that, Kieran. 23.

Very good indeed.

Yeah, he was also famously the Penguin

in the Batman TV series, Burgess Meredith.

And Oscar-nominated for that role in the Rocky films as well.

23 points. Now, shall we fill in the rest of these?

-The punk band is...

-Charlotte.

Good Charlotte, Charlotte Bronte.

29 points for that.

-CS...

-Lewis.

CS Lewis Collins.

Would have scored 63.

-And Victor...

-Hugo.

Victor Hugo and Hugo Weaving, 36 points.

There we are. Thank you very much. We're halfway through the round.

So, let's have a quick look at those scores.

Remind ourselves where we lie.

23 is where Kieran and Piers are.

Nice, low score there.

Then up to 37, where we find Vicki and Tiff.

Then up to 58, John and Laura.

So, Laura, yes, this is quite a mountain to climb.

-I've figured out the round now, so this is good.

-This is good.

By the time it gets to you, you'll have a really good idea

of what's going on. You'll be the last person to have that board.

I hope there's something on there you can find. It might help you.

Might force you into answering a low-scoring answer.

Best of luck with that. Let's hope it keeps you in the game.

Going to come back down the line.

Can the second players, please, step up to the podium?

OK, we're going to put six more pairs of names up on the board

and here they come.

We've got...

I'm going to read those all again.

So, remember, we are looking for the

common name shared by these people.

Piers, you're on 23.

The high-scorers on 58 are Laura and John,

so if you can score 34 or less,

you are in our head-to-head round.

So, pressure's on and I think

I'll go for James Joyce.

James Joyce Sims. There we are.

Let's see if that's right. Here is your red line.

Get below that with Joyce,

you're through to the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right.

There we are. The head-to-head awaits.

28 is what you score there,

taking your total up to 51.

Yeah, another good answer there.

Safely through. Well played.

OK, Tiff, there you are on 37.

The high-scorers still Laura and John on 58.

What are you going to go for on this board?

I know a couple.

It's just a question of hoping we might win

with Harper Lee Marvin.

Harper Lee Marvin, says Tiff.

Here is your red line.

It's quite low. You have to get below that with Lee.

Let's see if it's right. Let's see

how many of our 100 people went for Harper Lee Marvin.

It's right.

Look at that. 53.

Oh, the door is open again for Laura and John.

That takes your total up to 90, Tiff.

Do you know? Harper Lee was so impressed with Gregory Peck's

performance in that film, she gave him

her father's gold pocket watch, which he had worn to court for 40 years.

She gave it to Gregory Peck.

Wow. Thank you much. OK, now, Laura, you're on 58.

Look at this. You have to score 31 or less. It's nice, it's fabulous.

There we are. A lifeline's been hurled to...

-Why are you shaking your head?

-Because I only know two and they are probably

the two highest-scoring and I've got to decide between them.

Talk us through the board. Just do a little bit of thinking aloud.

Well, it's James Brown for the Godfather of Soul

and Mary Shelley wrote Frankenstein.

And I don't know any of the others.

I probably will when you tell me,

so I'm going to go for Mary Shelley.

Mary Shelley, says Laura.

Mary Shelley Winters.

There's your red line.

Well, it's exciting, this.

Tiff and Vicki, Laura and John, a lot hanging in the balance here.

-Let's see how many of our 100 people said Shelley.

-Everyone.

Still going down. Oh, that's 61, I'm afraid.

Oh, bless you.

61, taking your total up to 119.

Yeah, James Brown would have been a lower scorer,

but still wouldn't have seen you through.

Henry James, James Brown.

Would have scored you 44 points.

-Martina...

-Cole.

Martina Cole, Cole Porter.

Would have scored 34. And Hunter S...

-Thompson.

-Hunter S Thompson Twins.

Yep. Would have scored you 30.

Best answer on the board there was James Joyce and Joyce Sims.

-Well played.

-There we are.

Thank you very much indeed.

So, at the end of our second round, the pair we have to say goodbye to,

I'm so sorry, Laura and John.

-Oh, well.

-I know.

The stars of our first round. I mean, such are the vagaries

of Pointless, I'm afraid, but it's been lovely having you on.

-Please come and play again.

-We've had a great time.

Meantime, thanks very much, Laura and John. Wonderful contestants.

But for Kieran and Piers, Vicki and Tiff,

it's now time for our head-to-head.

Well, congratulations, Kieran and Piers, Vicki and Tiff.

You are now one step closer to the final and a chance to play for that

jackpot for your charities.

At the minute, the jackpot is standing at £2,500.

We have to decide who's going to go through to the final to play for

that jackpot, and we do it by making you go head-to-head.

The big difference is you're now playing as a team.

You can chat before you give your answers.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot,

so it's architecture versus motoring.

There we are. I have to say, in the architecture of this show,

I'd say this is a perfect structure for our head-to-head.

I would say those two sides of that beautiful Romanesque arch

are perfectly, equally strong. We've had Lincoln, we've had Salford.

This is the kind of calibre where you're each up against.

So I think this should be a very promising and exciting head-to-head.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play it.

And here is your first question. It concerns...

Foreign Language Songs. Richard.

We are going to give you excerpts now from five well-known songs,

but they are sung in a foreign language.

Can you tell us the language the majority of the song is sung in,

please? Best of luck.

We're going to hear five excerpts, let's have a listen.

Here is...

A. MUSIC: A song by Edith Piaf

Here is B. MUSIC: A song by Nena

Here is C. MUSIC: A song by Psy

Here is D. MUSIC: A song by Sigur Ros

And here is E. MUSIC: A song by ABBA

So, we just need to know which languages

each of those songs is sung in.

Now, Kieran and Piers, you've been our low scorers up till this point.

So, you will go first.

OK, well, my wife is Swedish,

so I'm duty-bound to choose E and say that E is Swedish.

E, Swedish, say Kieran and Piers.

Now then, Vicki and Tiff.

So, we're going to go for C,

because that sounded just like the Korean bloke that did the famous...

-Gangnam Style.

-..Gangnam Style.

It might not be, but we are going for Korean, C.

Korean, for C. So, Swedish for E, Korean for C.

Kieran and Piers said Swedish for E. Let's see if that's right. Let's see

how many of our 100 people said Swedish.

It's right.

39. 39.

Vicki and Tiff, meanwhile, have come up with Korean for C.

Let's see if that's right, let's see

how many of our 100 people said Korean.

It's right. It is Korean.

And it wins you the point. Look at that. There we are. 28.

Very well done, Vicki and Tiff.

You've nicked it. After one question, you are up 1-0.

Very well played. You worked out it was Psy, Gangnam Style.

That's the original in Korean. And that was Waterloo by Abba,

in the Swedish. A, let's have a tiny listen. It is, of course...

Oh, yes, yes. MUSIC: A song by Edith Piaf

-French.

-French. Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien by Edith Piaf.

82 points for that.

I was delighted that B came up.

It's one of my favourite songs.

It's great.

It's Nena.

Singing in German. Singing 99 Luftballons.

Would have scored you 59.

And the best answer on the board is D

and that is the wonderful Sigur Ros,

singing in Icelandic.

And that would have scored you 7 points.

There we are. Anyway, here comes your second question.

Kieran and Piers, you have to win this question to stay in the game,

but Vicki and Tiff get to answer it first.

So, very best of luck.

And our second question this evening is all about...

Kermit and his famous friends.

-Richard.

-We're going to show you five pictures now of Kermit with

famous friends, but who is he with in these pictures, please?

OK, thanks very much, Richard. Let's reveal our five pictures

and here they come. We have got...

There we are.

Kermit photographed

with five famous people.

Now then, Vicki and Tiff, you will go first this time.

-Is it?

-It's tricky, isn't it?

-Do you want to go for C?

-Yeah, it's

a bit of a risk, but I don't know.

It's you, go. You know.

We'll go for C, Fearne Cotton.

C, Fearne Cotton, say Vicki and Tiff.

OK, now, Kieran and Piers, that board's all yours.

Do you want to talk us through all those people?

-Well, we're debating...

-Liza Minnelli, obviously.

-Yeah.

-..is there.

-Then we don't know who B is.

We know who Michelle Obama is

and we know who Ricky Gervais is.

We're wondering whether

Liza Minnelli or Michelle Obama

are the most obscure.

Piers is choosing.

So, I think that I'm going to go for...

Michelle Obama, D.

OK, Michelle Obama.

So, we have Fearne Cotton and we have Michelle Obama.

Fearne Cotton. We don't know about that.

That's a real stab in the dark, isn't it?

Yeah. The others were too obvious.

Well, let's try it. Anyway, C, Vicki and Tiff say, Fearne Cotton.

Let's see if it's right, in the first case,

then let's see how may people said it if it is.

It is right. It is Fearne Cotton.

Look at that. 19 for Fearne Cotton.

Very well done indeed.

Very well done.

Kieran and Piers now have said Michelle Obama, for D.

Let's see where we end up with Michelle Obama.

It's right.

There we are. 42.

The First Lady gets 42, which means,

Vicki and Tiff, very well done indeed.

After only two questions, you're straight through to the final, 2-0.

Yeah, they stitched you up there, Kieran and Piers.

Not a lot you could do. I mean, it all rests on B,

who I don't think anyone recognises.

Michelle Obama is so effortlessly cool, isn't she?

-Isn't she?

-Oh, isn't she wonderful?

A is Liza Minnelli,

of course it is. Big scorer, though.

71 points for that.

We'll get on to B in a second.

E, you knew was Ricky Gervais.

Would have scored too many points as well.

62. And B...

everyone is trying to get.

I thought first, is it a young Daniel O'Donnell?

But it's not. It is David Arquette

and it's the best answer on the board by a mile.

3 points for that.

Thank you very much indeed. At the end of our head-to-head round,

I'm afraid we have a clear indication of who is going to be leaving us.

I'm so sorry, Kieran and Piers.

You fell on your Swedish sword.

-I did.

-Absolutely. Great song.

In many ways, we salute that kind of behaviour.

We'll see you again. Please come and play again.

-It's been lovely having you here, Kieran and Piers.

-Thank you.

-Come back and win next time.

-Excellent.

-Kieran and Piers.

But for Vicki and Tiff, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Vicki and Tiff,

you have fought off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

and at the end of today's show, our jackpot is standing at £2,500.

There we are.

Well, I mean, that's just been a stealth raid.

A very, very efficient job.

You have motored through Pointless

and you haven't taken your foot off the gas.

I'd like to say, at this point, I'm exhausted.

Yeah. AUDIENCE GROANS

-Thank you.

-Anything you'd like to see come up in this last round?

-Cars.

-Cars would be good.

-Cars.

-Yeah, racing drivers.

-And some cars.

-Yeah.

OK. OK, so an enormous hinterland there is what we're saying.

Now, as always, you get to choose your category

from the four we'll put up on the board.

Today's selection looks like this. We have got...

Oh, I don't know Royal Families.

It'll be some obscure mother-in-law for someone, and Crime Writers,

-no good.

-Royal Families might be...

-Classic albums, how's your music?

Classic Live Albums is a bit niche, do you think?

-What do you want to go for, then?

-Royal Families, there might be...

I don't know, the Norwegian Royal family.

-I'm not very up on that.

-No, I know.

US Crime Writers. There might be some big hitters there.

-Sporting 32s?

-Shall we punt on Sporting 32s?

-Yeah, could be.

-Shall we have a punt?

-It's more obscure.

-OK.

-The question might be easier because it's an obscure subtitle.

-Come on, then.

-Sporting 32s.

I love the way you talked yourself into that. Sporting 32s.

OK, best of luck. Three very different questions here,

so hopefully one of these sports suits you.

We are looking for any of the top 32 snooker plays in the world

at the end of 2015, please.

We're looking for any of the 32 NFL teams in the 2015 season.

We're looking for any country that won any sort of medal,

any sporting medal, in the 1932 Olympics, please.

So, top 32 snooker players at the end of 2015,

the 32 NFL American football teams in 2015,

or any Olympics medal-winning country in 1932.

-Very best of luck.

-There we are.

So, that's what Sporting 32s means.

As always, you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers

and all you need to win that jackpot for your charities is for just one

of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

Perfect. Let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

So what snooker...? Jed Trump is one name I know in snooker.

Ronnie O'Sullivan, obviously,

but that's too obvious.

NFL, my son's a LA Raiders fan,

but I can't remember whether he plays Green Bay Packers.

-Everyone knows the LA Raiders.

-I don't.

-Green Bay Packers.

OK, I like the sound of them.

Ned Trump. Any other snooker? Snooker, snooker.

-God, I used to watch snooker so much.

-I know, me too.

-Ronnie O'Sullivan beat Jed Trump.

-There's a great Welsh guy who plays.

He wasn't world number one and he reminds me of the racing driver.

Higgins. Keep going, keep going, come up with a name.

Louisville Cardinals, is it?

Louisville Cardinals?

-Is that NFL?

-Rings a bell. NFL, yeah.

Louisville Cardinals rings a bell.

-I might give that a punt.

-OK.

-Green Bay Packers.

-I like the sound of them.

Jed Trump. I'm sure he's...

-Is he not a snooker player?

-I don't know.

-No, yeah.

-You start thinking things...

-Tell me his name again.

-Jed Trump. Yeah, snooker player.

-Yeah, I like the sound of that.

-Ten seconds left.

-Green Bay Packers.

The New Orleans Cardinals.

-OK.

-I like that one.

-I'm not sure it's right.

-Gosh, you so don't need me here.

I am useless.

OK, that is your time up, I'm afraid.

That's always the quickest minute in anyone's day.

I now need your three answers. What would you like to go for?

-With no help from me...

-We're going to go for Jed Trump.

As soon as you start saying a name, you think,

"No, he's not a snooker player, he's something else."

Jed Trump as a snooker player.

-Green Bay Packers, but they're quite popular.

-Green Bay Packers.

Yeah. The New Orleans Cardinals.

The New Orleans...

I might have made that up completely.

Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-The New Orleans Cardinals.

-New Orleans Cardinals goes last.

Do you think they'll go...? Yeah. Least points.

Least likely to be pointless?

-Jed Trump.

-Jed Trump.

OK, well, let's pop those answers up on the board in that order, then.

And here they are. We have got...

They all look like great answers to me.

I know nothing, you have to remember. Very, very best of luck.

Now, if one of these turns out to be pointless and wins you that jackpot

for your charities, can I just ask which charities you're playing for?

-Vicki, you first.

-I'm playing for the Smile Train,

which assists children who have been born with a clef palate

-and a harelip.

-Very good, indeed.

-Tiff?

-I'm with Sparks, medical research for little babies.

-Wonderful cause.

-Wonderful.

Two excellent charities there.

Let's hope one of your three answers will win that jackpot for those

charities, so best of luck.

Your first answer was Jed Trump.

In this case, we were looking for the top 32 snooker players of 2015.

You thought this was probably your least likely answer to be pointless,

but only one of these has to be pointless for you to win that

jackpot. So let's find out. Jed Trump, for £2,500.

How many people said Jed Trump?

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer.

Jed Trump. Only two more chances to win today's jackpot.

Your next answer was the Green Bay Packers.

In this case, we were looking for the 32 NFL teams of the 2015 season.

We just wanted any name among those 32.

You have gone for the Green Bay Packers. Let's see if

it's right, let's see if it's pointless. If it's both of those

things, you will leave here with £2,500 for your charities.

It's right. Now, Jed Trump was incorrect, your first answer.

The Green Bay Packers now are taking us down through the thirties.

If this goes all the way down to zero,

you'll leave with £2,500.

Down it goes, single figures.

Still going down.

Green Bay Packers stop at 2.

-Oh!

-APPLAUSE

Ooh, that was exciting.

That was very exciting.

All moving in the right direction. We've gone from 100 to 2.

That's how we roll, flat out.

OK. Only one more chance to win today's jackpot.

Your third and final answer,

the one you thought was your best shot at a pointless answer

was the New Orleans Cardinals.

Now, this has to be correct, then it has to be pointless.

If it's both of those things,

your charities will be £2,500 the richer.

Let's find out how many people went for the New Orleans Cardinals.

Is it pointless?

Oh, no!

Oh, no!

Oh, I'm sorry.

-That's an incorrect...

-The New Orleans Saints...

We'll discover, Richard will take us through them all shortly.

I'm sorry to say you didn't manage to find that all-important pointless

answer. You came very close with your second one,

but I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £2,500.

However, as it's a celebrity special and each of our celebrities was

playing for a nominated charity,

we are going to donate £500 to each celebrity pair for their respective

charity, so you get that.

It's been just brilliant having you on, though.

You have been fantastic right across the show.

And you get to take home a Pointless trophy each, so there you are.

Thank you.

Yeah, the New Orleans Cardinals, you're mixing up two teams.

There's the Arizona Cardinals, which would have scored you 1 point,

-and I think you know the New Orleans team?

-The Saints?

New Orleans Saints, which was a pointless answer.

No!

-Never mind.

-So tough in that minute.

And your son's favourite team?

-The LA Raiders.

-They're the Oakland Raiders now,

have been for some time, another pointless answer.

-No?

-So he's going to be furious with you.

Can you imagine?

Unlucky. Jed Trump, it's Judd Trump.

Would have scored you 10 points, Judd Trump.

So, no real harm done there.

Now let's go through the pointless answers here.

For the snookers players, some big names on this list.

Ali Carter. Michael White

is the youngest person ever to score

a competitive century.

Nine years old when he scored his

first-ever century in a competitive

match. Shaun Murphy, who is

a former world champion.

Stephen Maguire.

Alan McManus, Barry Hawkins, Ben Woollaston, Ding Junhui,

Jamie Jones, Joe Perry, Kyren Wilson, Liang Wenbo,

Mark Allen, Martin Gould, Ricky Walden, Robert Milkins,

Ryan Day - all of those pointless answers.

Well done if you said one of those.

The NFL teams now.

Lots of pointless answers here as well.

The Baltimore Ravens, the Carolina Panthers,

who were in the Super Bowl,

the Atlanta Falcons, Cleveland Browns, Detroit Lions,

Indianapolis Colts, Kansas City Chiefs,

Minnesota Vikings, Oakland Raiders, San Diego Chargers, St Louis Rams...

-Stop! Stop!

-..Tennessee Titans - they were all pointless answers.

Now, 1932 Olympic medal-winning countries.

Again, there's some big countries on this list.

Czechoslovakia, the only other pointless answer on that list.

Great show. And you don't come much closer to getting a pointless answer

than that. Unlucky. If we'd given you 70 seconds instead of 60,

you'd have got New Orleans Saints, I know.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Thank you so much, Vicki and Tiff.

Join us next time when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to

the test on Pointless. Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me, goodbye.