Medical Pointless Celebrities

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and a very warm welcome

to this special medical edition of Pointless Celebrities,

the game where you're always aiming for the lowest score.

Let's meet today's Pointless Celebrities...

APPLAUSE

And couple number one.

Hi, I'm Amanda Henderson.

I'm better known for BBC Casualty's Staff Nurse Robyn Miller.

And I'm Charles Dale

and for the last eight-and-a-half years

I've been playing Big Mac, also in Casualty.

APPLAUSE

Couple number two.

Hi, I'm Hilary Jones.

I'm a GP and I'm Health Editor on Good Morning Britain.

Hi, I'm Ranj Singh. I'm a children's doctor.

I'm one of the doctors on ITV's This Morning

and I'm also on CBeebies, where I sing about poo!

APPLAUSE

Couple number three.

My name's Ricky Grover.

I'm an actor and comedian. I don't know anything

but I only live round the corner, so it's handy!

LAUGHTER

I'm Vicki Pepperdine.

I created and played a character called Dr Pippa Moore

in a show called Getting On for BBC Four,

who was actually very interested in poo, as well.

So already have a connection with Ranj there.

APPLAUSE

And finally, couple number four.

Hello, I'm Rosie Marcel,

currently playing a horrible cow on Holby City

for the last ten years - Jac Naylor.

I'm Guy Henry.

I am also a horrible cow on Holby City...

I'm also a coach driver and a Brussels sprout picker.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much, all of you.

A very warm welcome to Pointless. Great to have you here.

We'll get to chat to each of you as the show goes along.

So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

Adding an injection of insight with a regular checkup of facts,

and taking the rectal temperature of our general knowledge...

-it's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-Hiya.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Evening, everybody.

Good evening.

Good evening to you.

-And how are you?

-I'm very well, thank you.

-A medical special.

-Yes.

And of course, we've got two actual doctors

-and then six people who essentially pretend to be doctors.

-Yes.

A lot of beef between podium one and podium four,

Casualty versus Holby.

-You know, bragging rights to be gained there, right?

-Mm.

And lovely on podium three.

Quite often, on regular Pointless, we love a rhyming pair, don't we?

We love an Eve and a Steve or a Kelly and a Shelley.

And I think it's the first time ever on Pointless Celebrities

we've got a rhyming pair, so you're greatly welcome, Vicki and Ricky.

-Isn't that lovely?

-Thank you.

-That's a right result for us!

-It's lovely, lovely.

-We've all won, haven't we, really?

-Everybody has won, yes.

-There we are. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

-It's a pleasure.

Thank you. As usual, all of today's questions

have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants are looking out for those all-important pointless answers,

these being answered that none of our 100 people gave.

Find one of those and we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Now, as today's show is a celebrity special,

each of our lovely celebrities is playing for a nominated charity.

We start off with a jackpot of £2,500. There we are.

-AUDIENCE:

-Wooooo!

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

Eight new players in front of me,

so I have to say this to remind you all,

the pair with the highest score at the end of each round will be eliminated,

so keep those scores as low as you possibly can.

No conferring for the first two rounds.

Best of luck to all four pairs.

Our first category this evening is...

Music. Can you all decide in your pairs,

who's going to go first and who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. And the question is all about...

Songs relating to time. There we are. Richard...

Yeah, on each board, we're going to show you seven UK top 40 singles

whose titles relate to time in some way.

We're also going to give you the initial of the artist who had a hit with them.

You need to tell us the most obscure artist you can find, please.

Seven on the first board, seven on the second,

14 in all to have a go at at home. Very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed.

So we're looking for the artists who had hits with these time-related songs.

And here is our first board of seven...

I'll read those all one last time.

-Amanda.

-Hi!

-Welcome to Pointless, it's lovely to have you here...

-Thanks.

-..from Casualty.

-Mm-hm.

-Now, then, Staff Nurse...

-Uh-huh.

-..you're in there

for quite a lot of the...you know, some fairly major things happen.

I mean, I know it's all pretend. I do know it's all pretend!

And all prosthetics and the blood and stuff.

-It doesn't look pretend most of the time!

-No, it doesn't.

-How are you with all that?

-I've got a lot better.

I'm, like, three-and-a-half years into this.

I've got a lot better. But the prosthetics team are brilliant.

So every now and again it's a bit like, "Oooooh!"

But it's fine, it's fine. We get used to it.

-Also, you were in Les Miserables.

-I was.

-Blink and you'll miss me, but, yes!

-Who cares? You were in it.

-And how was that?

-It was amazing.

Yeah. It was the job I did before Casualty

and it was insane, yeah.

Lovely. Great set to be on, I should think.

Anyway, Amanda, what would you like to go for

from our board here of time hits?

I'm going to go with Happy Hour and the Housemartins.

The Housemartins. Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said the Housemartins.

Absolutely right.

Lovely low score there, Amanda. Look at that. Oh!

14. Great start to the show.

14 for the Housemartins.

That's a great start, Amanda. Well played.

Oh, I used to love the Housemartins so much.

-Slightly been forgotten, a little bit.

-I suppose.

But if you don't know the Housemartins,

if you are, say, under 40, I suppose,

go and download the Housemartins' Greatest Hits. Something like that.

There you are, quite right. Thank you, Richard.

Ranj, nice to have you here.

Now, you were listing all those things you do.

You have your children's show, Get Well Soon, on CBeebies.

How long have you been doing that for?

Oh, a good few years now, actually.

It's constantly on repeat,

so I'm sure parents out there will be really glad to know that!

And have you got a practice, as well?

I work in a children's hospital in London.

So I work specifically in the Accident and Emergency Department

and that's my day job, essentially.

So you have got...? You've got time to fit that in?

-Just about!

-Just about. I mean, it's not like paediatricians

-have masses of time on their hands.

-No, it keeps me busy.

-Yeah.

I should think it does.

Also I was very pleased to see in your publicity photos

-you're wearing your stethoscope.

-Yeah.

I was very pleased to see that.

I find it always helps people think that I'm a real doctor!

Yeah!

-It just reminds them.

-That's a good tip.

-Yeah.

Now, Ranj, what would you like to go for?

You see, there's three that I definitely know

and one that I think I know, but I'm going to go for...

-Clocks, Coldplay.

-Coldplay, says Ranj.

Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Coldplay.

It's right.

14 is our only score at this point.

Coldplay takes us down to 31.

APPLAUSE

Not bad.

Another good answer, yeah. It's a song about clocks

and clock shops.

-Thank you.

-Pleasure.

Vicki, welcome.

Getting On, I would say probably the pinnacle

of an already very successful career.

Well, thank you. Yes, we're very, very proud of Getting On.

And, yeah, it was a great thing to be part of

and create and write and be in, which was wonderful.

I think one of the things that really struck everybody about it

was how genuinely steeped in the NHS it was,

-it had a very real sort of, a patina of the real thing.

-Yeah.

-Have you spent a lot of time in hospitals?

-Yeah.

We did an awful lot of research and hung around hospitals,

talked to lots and lots of doctors and nurses, everyone we could find, really,

porters, and anybody connected with hospitals.

And then just tried to stuff it all in, basically.

And that was what we did.

And also, some of your characters wearing stethoscopes, as well,

-which, to me, gives an air of...

-That was a clue!

-You know it's real, right?

-Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Vicki...

Yeah, OK, so I do know three of these, which I'm amazed at,

cos I literally thought I would know nothing coming on this programme.

I've got one that I'm not sure about but I'm going to take a risk.

And that is Time After Time, I'm going to say Cyndi Lauper.

Cyndi Lauper. Cyndi Lauper, says Vicki.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Cyndi Lauper, Time After Time.

Absolutely right.

-Oh!

-51.

51 for Cyndi Lauper.

It's an amazing song, Time After Time.

-You know, even Miles Davis did a version of it.

-Did he really?

-Yeah, very shortly after it was a hit.

-Wow.

Thanks very much.

-Now, Guy, welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

-Great to have you here.

You're the sort of CEO, aren't you, of Holby?

Yes, and I'm a brilliant surgeon.

I don't know how I do it, really!

Because I'm totally ignorant and my handshakes.

-But also you were in the last two Harry Potter films.

-I was.

I was the final Minister for Magic - Pius Thicknesse.

That means you now have a following for the rest of your life.

Every stage door you walk out of, they'll be crowds of...

-"You're not wearing the same wig and the same..."

-Yeah.

I've just been cut out of the new Tarzan film.

-Well, congratulations!

-Thank you.

-That's a great film to be cut out of.

-Yeah.

It was a tiny role and I graciously condescended to give it

and they decided it wasn't worth it!

And I don't blame them.

But you weren't kidding about the bus driving, either.

-You are a bus driver.

-I'm a qualified coach driver, yes.

And do you work as a coach driver?

I have done, yeah. Actually, the first morning I did a run,

somebody phoned up the boss and said,

"But what is that bloke off the telly doing driving my coach?!"

And I did have to keep explaining that, although I'm not a qualified doctor,

I'm a fully-qualified coach driver.

That, as I did a six-metre long scrape along the side of a taxi

outside the Playhouse Theatre!

Now, Guy, you're the last person to have this board.

-Yes.

-That's one of the weirdest stories I've ever heard!

Well, it is, I know. Imagine that.

I was a Noddy train driver on Hengistbury Head, Bournemouth,

I'll have you know!

-I did not know that! I did not know that.

-Brilliant.

London taxi cab, the engine.

Guy, this board is all yours. Do you want to go through it

-and fill in all our blanks for us?

-No, I'm completely at a loss.

Erm...

I'm completely rubbish at this, so I'll make this up.

I'm going to go for Times Like These, Franz Ferdinand.

Franz Ferdinand, says Guy.

Let's see if that's right. Ranj is impressed.

Even if it isn't right! I don't know, we will see.

Franz Ferdinand, is that right and how many people said it?

Oh, bad luck, Guy.

Right, I'll go back to the Noddy train!

I'm afraid Franz Ferdinand is an incorrect answer, scoring you 100 points.

But the round isn't over yet,

anything can happen in the next pass, you never know.

-But, yes, 100 points for that.

-That's unlucky, though.

Once you see those initials and Franz Ferdinand is in your head,

it's not going to go away.

-It's the Foo Fighters...

-Oh, them!

-..I'm afraid, yeah.

Never liked them!

Would have scored you 15 points.

It's a lovely song.

Sign O' the Times was Prince.

It would have scored you 30 points.

-Baby One More Time was the biggest scorer.

-Britney Spears.

Britney Spears. That's 58.

The best scorer, One Week, the Canadian band...

-Oh, Barenaked Ladies.

-Barenaked Ladies.

And that would have scored you eight points. Well done if you said that.

Thanks very much indeed.

We're halfway through the round, so let's look at those scores.

14, Amanda. What about that?

The best score of the pass,

putting you and Charles right at the top of the table.

Then up to 31, where we find Ranj and Hilary.

Then up to 51, where we find Vicki and Ricky.

And then up to 100, where we find Guy and Rosie.

Now, who knows what will happen in the next pass, Rosie,

-but let's have a low score from you...

-Oh, thanks!

-..just to make sure...

-No pressure!

We'll put some nice things up on the board for you.

I'm sure there'll be something there you can find a nice low score for.

We'll come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, we're going to put seven more time-related songs up on the board. And here they come.

We've got...

I'll read those all one last time.

Rosie...a very warm welcome to Pointless.

Now, obviously, Holby is your thing,

but you actually did the crossover

because you were in the Casualty 30th anniversary episode.

-Yes.

-How was that?

It was good. You get summoned and all of a sudden you're down in Wales.

-Oh, is it Wales where they film it?

-Yes.

-Oh, it's Wales...

-Considering it's supposed be the same hospital.

-Well, exactly.

-And also, so you've now seen both sides.

-Yes.

You've seen how the other half act.

It only took ten years to get there, but, yes.

-What are the differences?

-It's completely different.

I mean, we are very professional, they're not...

Oh...!

Our scripts are really great, they're not!

They're wonderful, it's great, it's a really good place to work, they're so welcoming.

But it is, it's a totally different place.

And what's really strange about it

is it's the ED Department of our hospital

and yet you never see us, we never see you guys...

I think we should definitely be doing more crossovers.

I think everybody would really, really enjoy that.

Yeah, particularly after what you've just said!

-Yes! They really want me there!

-Yeah!

-Now, Rosie, you're on 100.

-You're the high-scorers.

We have to have a low score from you to keep you in the game.

I'm afraid I don't know any of these. So I'm going to guess.

Sunny Afternoon, I think, is the Kinks.

The Kinks, says Rosie. No red line for you, you are the high-scorers.

Let's see how far down the column you get with the Kinks.

It's right!

-58.

-Oh, God, that's high.

58 takes your total up to 158.

Yeah, it's also the title of the West End musical

with the Kinks' music. It won the Olivier Award in 2015.

-Sunny Afternoon.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

-Ricky, welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

-Great to have you here.

Now, before you broke into comedy and then acting,

and your documentary making and all the other stuff you have done so successfully,

you were a hairdresser and a champion boxer.

-That's correct. At the same time.

-At the same time?

Which is very confusing.

-But you were called Ricky "Goodnight" Grover.

-Yeah.

How many times did you say "goodnight"

before delivering the sucker punch?

30 times.

-Goodnight.

-Goodnight.

-It might be 31 tonight, if you don't give me easy questions!

-OK, OK!

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

I've got good news for you, Ricky, you're through to the next round!

It doesn't matter what you score.

-Just because you're great!

-Cheers!

You know, I want to go for Rock Around The Clock, Bill Haley.

But I don't know who he was hanging about with at the time,

who the other people were.

Rock Around The Clock, Bill Haley.

Let me have that!

LAUGHTER

Come on, look who I'm up against!

These are all clever, they've stayed on at school and everything!

Half of the people here have got glasses!

-Bill Haley is good, isn't it?

-Bill Haley And...?

Bill Haley And...?

No, I'm sorry, I've had to stop there, Bill Haley.

Bill Haley.

Ricky is going to say Bill Haley.

No red line for you because you're already through.

Well, let's see, Bill Haley.

Yes, sadly, we didn't get the last bit, so let's see what happens...

No, bad luck.

It scores you 100 points and takes your total up to 151,

but you're through, anyway, so it's all fine.

-Put me out of me misery.

-We will do at the end of the round, yeah.

-Oh, sorry. I'm sorry.

-Just in case one of the other guys wants to have a go at it.

Thanks very much indeed.

Now, Hilary, good to have you here, warm welcome to the programme.

-Thank you.

-Now, you must, I suppose, be...?

You're like everyone's GP, aren't you?

The whole country looks on you as their GP.

Do you ever go out in public

without somebody coming up and presenting some symptoms?

Rarely! You'd be surprised what people say in a lift,

on the bus, on the street.

Do you give people the time? Do you...?

Yeah, I mean, I don't want people to go away thinking

"Well, he's a bit up himself, isn't he, because he didn't want to talk about my symptoms?"

So, on the whole, I say, "Look, you know, I can give you a guide

"but, really, you should be seeing your own doctor,

"because I can't examine you here."

You could just keep the stethoscope in your ears and pretend you can't hear them!

Yeah, I don't carry a stethoscope, I carry a proctoscope, just to be different.

God, I don't know any people who say, "You're up yourself," if you carry a...

Now, Hilary, again, you're already through, so it doesn't matter.

You're on 31.

I know a couple of the songs, but I don't have a clue who the singers are.

So I might have another go at Ricky's,

having given me half of the answer!

And he's going to knock me out!

But even then, I'm confused,

because I think it's Bill Haley And His Comets.

-Bill Haley And His Comets?

-But I thought it was The Comets,

so I don't know.

Bill Haley And His Comets, let's see if that's right, let's see how and people said it.

No red line, you're already through.

It's right. There we are.

39, very well done, taking your total up to 70.

Nice round number there.

Yeah, Bill Haley And His Comets.

Lots of people think it's The Comets, which is why,

as soon as you see BH & HC, you're thinking of two people,

which is, I suspect, why it only scored 39 points.

There we are. Thank you very much indeed.

Now, Charles...

Now, as Big Mac, do you ever find people mistake you for a doctor?

Or for a paramedic, I should say.

Well, I've been all sorts of things. Because I started off as a porter

and then I became an ECA,

which is an assistant to the paramedics,

and then I became an HCA, which is what I am now,

which is, basically, an auxiliary nurse.

So all over the place.

How good are you at remembering stuff, though?

Because that would be amazing.

-You would be, like, fully trained, wouldn't you?

-It's the docs.

It's the docs and the nurses that have to remember the stuff.

Fortunately, myself and Tony Marshall get away with murder!

We don't actually have to remember anything medical, particularly. So, yeah...

OK, now, Charles. You're on 14, it doesn't matter what you score, either, you're through.

I'm afraid Rosie and Guy are taking one for the team on this particular round.

Rub it in!

But do you fancy talking us through the board?

I have absolutely no desire to talk you through the board whatsoever.

My father will kill me, because I was brought up in a record shop!

But the only one I can even think of,

Final Countdown,

I think it's Europe, but I'm not sure.

-Is that the one you'd like to go for?

-Yeah, because the rest of it is a mystery.

Europe. No red line for you. You're already through.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Europe, for the Final Countdown.

-It's right.

-Well done.

I didn't think it was!

42, not bad at all.

Taking your total up to 56,

which, I might add, is the lowest total of the whole round,

so very, very well done indeed, on the first podium.

Well played, Charles. Let's go through the board.

Do you remember 21 Seconds?

-It's So Solid Crew!

-So Solid Crew, absolutely.

-That's my era, surely!

-Would have scored you 26 points.

The best answer on the board is Get It Right Next Time.

-Gerry Rafferty?

-Gerry Rafferty, yeah.

Did you work that out by the initials? Very good, nine points.

Another one you can work out by the initials here.

-Iron Maiden?

-Iron Maiden, 2 Minutes To Midnight.

Another good scorer, 11 points.

-And Once In A Lifetime?

-Talking Heads.

-Talking Heads.

And that's 15 points.

-So some low scorers there.

-There we are, thanks very much, Richard.

So at the end of our first round, the pair we have to say goodbye to,

I'm so sorry, it's Rosie and Guy, with their high score of 158.

A high-scoring round, that one.

-It's been great having you on. Far too soon to be sending you back.

-It was my fault!

-I should have gone for Prince.

-But come and play again.

-Come and play again. But wonderful to have you on.

-Thank you.

-Thanks so much, Rosie and Guy.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

But for our remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And look at that, we're suddenly down to three pairs.

At the end of this round, we'll have to say goodbye to another pair, in time for our head-to-head round.

Well, I have to say, hats off, Casualty!

-Bragging rights over Holby City, there.

-I know, I'm super happy!

I said, "As long as I beat them, I'm really happy!"

There we are, and you've done it. Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two this evening is...

Cities. Can you all decide in your pairs,

who's going to go first and who's going to go second?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. Let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many European landmarks as they could.

European landmarks. Richard...

Yeah, we're going to show you 16 pictures now

of different landmarks in European cities.

You just need to tell us one of the cities that you see up on this board, please.

Just give us the most obscure answer you can. Very best of luck.

OK, thanks very much indeed. So, as Richard explained,

we're going to put an image up on the board of 16 cities.

That won't change, that will stay up for the entire round.

So good luck, Charles, going last there.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

Yeah, you just have to name one of the cities you see up on the board.

Let's have a look at that image. Here it comes.

There we go.

And, Amanda, we come to you first.

Oh, no! Oh, my days, I literally don't know any of them.

Oh, my mum will hate me right now!

Oh, my goodness.

Erm...

Erm...

I feel like I should know one and I don't.

I'm going to throw Vienna out there.

-You're going to say Vienna.

-Is that a city?

Vienna.

Let's find out.

How many of our 100 people said Vienna. Is it right?

I'm sorry!

Bad luck, Amanda.

I'm afraid Vienna not up on the board.

-I'm making up for the last round, surely.

-That scores you 100 points.

-Richard...

-And Vienna is a city, that's the good news.

-It might as well have been up there.

-There we go. Thank you very much.

Hilary...

I'm going to say...Florence.

Florence.

Because I think I recognise the bridge.

That'll be why you'd said it. Yeah.

Florence. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Florence.

It's right.

Good...

Oh, we like that. We like that!

-13.

-We do like it.

-Well done, Hilary.

-Yeah, well played, Hilary.

That's the Ponte Vecchio you're recognising there.

It's had shops in it since the 13th century, the Ponte Vecchio.

That probably what London Bridge used to look like, isn't it?

-Yeah, very similar.

-Thank you very much, Richard.

Now, Vicki.

I think there's a lot of water, in what I'm looking at,

and I think I'm looking at St Mark's in Venice?

You are going to go for St Mark's in...?

-Well, Venice is the city.

-So, yeah, so, Venice, you're going to go for.

Let's see if Venice is right

and let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right.

Well done.

-13 is our low score at this point.

-Well done.

-And you get 19. Very nicely done.

-Well done.

19 for Venice.

Another good answer, yeah, there's Venice.

Thank you very much. We're halfway through the round, let's look at those scores.

13 the best score of that pass, Hilary, hats off to you.

Hilary and Ranj looking pretty strong at this point.

Then up to 19, where we find Vicki and Ricky.

And then up to 100, Amanda and Charles.

-She said the one I knew.

-Oh, I'm sorry.

-Sorry, mate.

-I'm sorry.

-I didn't even mean Vienna.

Oh, I know, I've made that mistake many, many times before.

-Er, now, Charles.

-Yeah...

Remember when it gets to you, you have to score as low as you possibly can.

But someone else might score 100. They just might.

Anything could happen in the next pass, but best of luck.

Back down the line now. Second players, please step up to the podium.

OK. Now, Ricky, there you are, you're on 19.

Charles and Amanda on 100, so 80 or less gets you through.

One of them looks like my aquarium.

Erm, let me have a look...

Rhodes!

-Rhodes?

-Yes.

Rhodes, says Ricky. OK, here is your red line.

Nice and high, but you've got to get below it with Rhodes.

Let's see if you can. If you do, you're definitely in the head-to-head.

How many people said Rhodes? Is it right?

Oh, I'm sorry. That scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 119.

But you could very easily still be in the game.

Yeah, sorry, not Rhodes. There are roads on those pictures...

That... That I would give you.

I'm just messing about.

I'm starving, I want to get on!

Now, Ranj, I've got good news for you, Ranj. You are through to the next round.

-It doesn't matter what you score. You cannot lose.

-Yes! Yes!

But we do need an answer from you, though.

Erm, so, my geography is awful.

I'm going to go for the one that is probably the most obvious,

-and that's Paris.

-Paris...

-Yeah.

-..says Ranj.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people said Paris.

No red line for you, you're already through.

It's right.

39. There we are.

Taking your total up to 52.

Well played, Ranj.

Yeah, there's the Louvre there, in Paris.

Thanks very much. Now, then, Charles...

-Oh...!

-This is exciting.

You have to score 18 or less. You have to.

Right.

So...

There are several, I know a few, I'm just trying to think,

which is the one that is the least...?

I'm going to go for Berlin.

Berlin, says Charles.

Ranj is nodding, but then he nodded at Franz Ferdinand. So, erm...

So there we are.

You have to get below that. It's quite low.

Berlin - is it right? How many people said it?

It's not the Brandenburg Gate.

Oooh, Charles, I'm sorry, I'm afraid not Berlin.

That scores you 100 points and it takes your total up to 200.

Yeah, sorry. And, also, if you're a penchant of Ranj's

and he's nodding his head, it is not good news!

Now, this is a tough board, I have to say.

There's four pointless answers up there, amongst our 16,

one of which is the Paul Klee Museum in Bern.

Cardiff, there's Cardiff Castle.

That was a pointless answer. Very well done if you said that.

Frankfurt - there's the European Central Bank building.

-I can't believe no-one recognised the new European Central Bank building.

-Look at that!

And Malmo, the Turning Torso - those were all pointless answers.

Very low-scorers. Glasgow, that's the Kelvingrove Museum and Gallery.

Would have scored you one point.

Two points for Lisbon.

Two points also for Munich.

No Berlin, but Munich is there.

Three points for Amsterdam.

Eight for Dublin.

Nine for St Petersburg.

11 for Prague.

The top two scorers - 42 points for Moscow

and the biggest scorer of all, 54 for Athens.

There we are, thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of our second round,

I'm afraid it's Charles and Amanda we have to say goodbye to.

-It was tough, that!

-At least we beat Holby!

Listen, you beat Holby!

You can just walk on air as you leave the studio!

-But Cardiff...

-We should have known Cardiff!

-I know!

-I'm kicking myself, I've been there about four times, as well!

-Oh, no.

Well, listen, we'll see you again another time.

Please come back and play again. It's been lovely having you here. Charles and Amanda! Wonderful!

Thank you.

But for Ranj and Hilary and Vicki and Ricky,

it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Ranj and Hilary, Vicki and Ricky.

You are now one step closer to the final and a chance to play for our jackpot,

which currently stands at £2,500.

-AUDIENCE:

-Wooooooh!

So, we've reached that wonderful place where we have to decide

who goes through to the final and plays for that jackpot.

And we do that by making you go head-to-head.

But the difference is, you're now allowed to confer before you give your answers

which, I think, just takes a lot of pressure off,

means you can start to relax and enjoy yourselves.

First player to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

-Well, look at this, it's pretend medicine versus real medicine.

-Yes.

-That's it!

-Don't set us up!

-Yes!

The pretenders versus the real thing.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head!

APPLAUSE

Here comes your first question and it concerns...

-Types of dance, Richard.

-Yeah, we're going to show you the names of five types of dances

that are performed on Strictly Come Dancing.

Now, we've missed out alternate letters from each one - can you fill in those gaps, please?

OK, let's reveal our five types of dance, and here they come...

I'll read those again.

There we are. Now, Ranj and Hilary,

you have been our low-scorers up to this point, so you will go first.

-We'd like to go for the fourth one.

-Yes.

And we reckon that's American Smooth.

American Smooth.

American Smooth. Now, then, Vicki and Ricky?

Well, yeah, I... Foxtrot, Salsa, Jive,

and then I suspect the top one

is the one that is going to be the one that would win,

if we could know it. But I don't know what it is.

-I'm going to go Salsa.

-Salsa.

So we have American Smooth and we have Salsa.

Ranj and Hilary said American Smooth.

Let's see how many of our 100 people got that.

American Smooth is right.

We like that, don't we?

Oh, not bad. Look at that, down it goes. Good score.

18 for American Smooth.

APPLAUSE

Meanwhile, Vicki and Ricky have gone for Salsa.

Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Salsa.

-Is right.

-It's going to be high.

-Yeah.

There we are, 75 for Salsa.

Very well done.

Ranj and Hilary, after one question, you are up 1-0.

Yes. American Smooth is the best answer on that board.

And funnily enough, of the three you knew, Salsa was the best answer.

You do know that top one, it's simpler than you think.

-Charleston. Charleston, yeah.

-Oh!

-Oh, of course it is, yeah.

-It wouldn't have won you the point, though, it would have scored 34.

-That's all right, then.

Er... Foxtrot is a huge scorer - 92 points for Foxtrot.

And 87 points for Jive.

Thank you very much. Here comes your second question.

Now, Vicki and Ricky, you have to win this one to stay in the game, but you get to answer it first.

You've got a bit of an advantage there. Best of luck with that.

The second question this evening is all about...

LAUGHTER

-This is not fixed in any way!

-Doctors and GPs, Richard.

Er, in fact, what we're going to show you is five famous faces now,

all of whose initials are either DR or GP.

-Can you...?

-Oh, no!

-OK!

Can you identify them with...?

You sound very disappointed!

Oh, we were so looking forward to seeing some pictures of GPs!

LAUGHTER

-Can you identify...?

-You'd have known if they were proper doctors and GPs

because they'd have had stethoscopes!

There you are.

Thanks, Richard. So let's reveal our five DRs and GPs.

And here they are...

There we are.

Five famous DRs or GPs.

Now, Vicki and Ricky, you will go first.

OK, I think we're going to go B - Diana Ross.

B - Diana Ross, say Vicki and Ricky.

Ranj and Hilary, that board is all yours.

Talk us through the DRs and GPs.

I only know one other one. I don't know about you, Hilary.

I can only make the first one, which is Gwyneth Paltrow.

-Erm...

-No, none of them have got stethoscopes around their necks, so I'm at a loss.

Yeah, I know, they're completed baffling.

-So you're going to go with Ranj's answer.

-We'll have to.

OK, you're going to go with A - Gwyneth Paltrow.

So we have Diana Ross and we have Gwyneth Paltrow.

Vicki and Ricky went Diana Ross. Let's see if that's right for B. Let's see how many people got it.

It's right.

Well done.

58.

58 for Diana Ross.

Now, then, Ranj and Hilary have gone for Gwyneth Paltrow for A.

Let's see how many of our 100 people got that.

It's right.

Oh, it's close! Look at that, 62!

Wow!

Wow, just four points in it. But very well done.

Vicki and Ricky, you're back in the game, after two questions, it's 1-1.

Very well played. C is one of our finest actors.

Ah, lovely Geoffrey Palmer!

Geoffrey Palmer would have scored you 30 points.

This next gentleman, do you know who this is?

-Gregory Peck.

-Gregory Peck is exactly right.

-Oh, Gregory Peck!

-Yeah, look at that, 21 points.

-The final one probably looks most like a GP.

-He does, doesn't he?

-It's the drummer from Blur.

-Dave Rowntree.

-Dave Rowntree, yep.

Would have scored you one point, so, very well done if you said that.

There we are. Thank you very much indeed.

OK, so here comes your third question.

Whoever wins this one goes through to the final and plays for that jackpot for their charity.

So, best of luck to both pairs. Our third question is all about...

Creatures of the sea, Richard.

There will be five clues now to facts about various sea creatures.

Whichever team gives us the most obscure answer

is playing for the jackpot, so very best of luck.

OK, thanks, Richard. So let's reveal our five clues and here they come.

I shall read those one last time.

-Ranj and Hilary, it's you first.

-Shall we go for the third one?

I think...yeah.

I think we're going to go for the third one down.

Surprise, surprise, it's got the word respiratory in it.

-Can I go with gills?

-Gills, say Ranj and Hilary. Gills.

Now, Vicki and Ricky, the board is all yours.

Um, I only really knew gills and, er...

..mermaid.

The name of this fish is the surname of the First Minister of Scotland.

Oh! Oh, that's, erm...

-Salmon! Salmon.

-Yeah, Salmon is a good name.

Oh, it is, innit?

-I'm going to go Salmon, top one, Salmon.

-Yeah.

OK, you're going Salmon for the top one.

So we have gills and we have Salmon.

Now, Ranj and Hilary said gills. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said gills.

It's right.

71 is what it scores.

Now, Vicky and Ricky have gone for Salmon for this next one.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it.

Oh...! I was so convinced!

Is there, like, an Alex Salmon? Is that like...?

We shall see. All will be revealed shortly.

But very well done, Ranj and Hilary.

After three questions, you are through to the final, 2-1.

Very well done.

APPLAUSE

You won't be the only person, Vicki, who said Salmon. You're thinking of Alex Salmond.

-I was so pleased.

-But it's Nicola Sturgeon.

-Oh, God!

-Of course.

-You knew that.

-I knew that.

Nicola Sturgeon.

Sturgeon would have scored you 43 points.

Mermaid would have scored you too many points - 81.

Ichthyology is the study of fish.

It would have scored you six points.

And you don't remember Paul the Octopus?

-Paul.

-Paul the Octopus.

-Paul the Octopus!

Who scored 14 points.

-He was born in Weymouth, Paul the Octopus.

-Yeah.

-Moved to Germany.

-Did he swim?

-No, he flew.

-OK, good.

-He flew.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

OK, so the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

I'm sorry to say it's Vicki and Ricky, our lovely rhyming celebrity pair.

We have to say goodbye. It's been lovely having you on.

-Oh, thank you, it's been really fun. Thank you.

-I'm not going!

-You stay. You can stay.

-No, I'm not going.

OK, but all the same, it's been lovely having you on.

Vicki and Ricky, thank you so much for playing.

APPLAUSE

Right, for Ranj and Hilary, it's now time for our Pointless final.

APPLAUSE

Well, congratulations, Ranj and Hilary,

you've seen off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy...

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot for your charities.

And at the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £2,500.

-There we are. AUDIENCE:

-Woooooooh!

Well, look at that...

The proof of the pudding is in the getting through to the final.

-It's that stethoscope.

-Exactly.

Proper stethoscope wearers, versus those charlatans we had on.

-Seven years training, mate.

-I know. Only seven?

Get out, Hilary, right now!

But what about that? That's exactly as it should be,

our proper medics made it through to the final. I don't know how!

-It makes you feel proud.

-Very, very well done.

I mean apart from medicine, obviously,

anything else you'd particularly like to see come up in this last round?

I could do with a bit of sport coming up.

-I quite like music rounds, actually.

-OK.

But I know we've already had it, though, haven't we?

No, sometimes it comes up in these rounds.

As you know, we put four categories up there.

You pick the one that scares you the least

and behind each one there's three subsets,

so don't panic if there's nothing you initially like the look of.

But let's hope there's something you quite like the look of.

Today's selection looks like this. We have...

Which one would you be most confident about?

Probably remote locations.

-OK, let's go for remote locations.

-OK. Sounds fun, doesn't it?

-It sounds fun.

-Yeah, remote locations, let's do that.

Very best of luck with this one.

Three remote locations here and here are your questions about them.

We are looking for...

Which is, of course, the remotest of the US states.

We are looking for...

The capital of Australia.

Or we are looking for any...

In the South Atlantic.

So US states within 4,000 miles of Hawaii.

We're looking for any capital city of a sovereign state that is a member of the UN in its own right

within 4,000 miles of Canberra,

or any countries, which are sovereign states, which are members of the UN,

within 4,000 miles of Tristan da Cunha.

Geography fans will be loving these.

Hopefully, this is a good category for you. Very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, as always, you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that jackpot for your charities

is for just one of those answers to be pointless. Are you ready?

-As we'll ever be.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now!

So I don't even know where the last one is!

-I do.

-OK. That's good.

-And it's fairly remote.

-But do you know what's within 4,000 miles of it?

-I think so.

OK, all right. So...where is it?

It's bang in the middle of the South Atlantic.

OK, you're going to have to be more specific!

-There is a country there.

-Yeah.

-There's another continent there.

-OK.

-And it's there, and it's a British dependency...

-OK.

..south of St Helena.

-30 seconds left.

-Can you come up with three answers to that one?

-Three?

-Yeah, we need three answers.

-Three answers, yes.

I haven't got three.

Yes, yes.

-Do you want them now?

-No, use this minute to think of them.

-OK, so I'm going to say Namibia.

-Right.

-South Africa.

-Yeah.

-Ten seconds left.

And, erm...

South Africa.

South America.

Bolivia.

No, Uruguay.

OK, that is your time up.

Let's have your three answers and if you can say which question you're answering.

We are answering the last question.

OK, Tristan da Cunha.

-South Africa.

-South Africa.

-Namibia.

-Namibia.

And...Bolivia.

And Bolivia. OK. Three answers there.

Which of those do you think is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Namibia.

-Namibia goes last.

Least likely to be pointless?

I think most people will have gone for South Africa.

-Least, Bolivia.

-Bolivia we'll put first.

OK, well, let's pop those answers up on the board in that order, then, and here they are...

We have got Bolivia, South Africa and Namibia.

Well, very, very best of luck. Three good answers there.

Now, if one of these turns out to be pointless

and wins you that jackpot, 2,500 quid,

which charities are you playing for?

So mine's a wonderful little charity called Best Beginnings.

It's relatively new.

And it basically helps new and young parents

to try and reduce child health inequalities across the country.

They've come up with this fantastic free app called the Baby Buddy app,

which is available to everyone who's thinking of, or is going to, or has just had a baby.

I just think they're a cracking little charity

-and I'm very fond of them.

-Wonderful.

-Hilary, how about you?

-Er, the Northern Lights charity.

They are a wonderful charity,

who take children with life-limiting illness to Lapland

before every Christmas to meet the real Santa

and it's wonderful

and it's the most moving piece of film that I've ever made with these wonderful kids.

Oh, fantastic.

APPLAUSE

Two excellent charities there. Let's hope one of these answers,

good answers by the way, Hilary, wins that jackpot for them.

Now, your first answer was Bolivia.

In each of these cases, we were looking for any country

that was within 4,00 miles of Tristan da Cunha.

Now, Bolivia... If this is correct and if it is pointless,

it will win you £2,500 for your charities.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Bolivia. Is it right?

It is right.

That's the first thing it had to be.

The second thing it had to be is pointless.

If Bolivia takes us all the way down to zero

you leave here with £2,500 for those charities.

We are now into single figures. Down it goes... Still going down!

One!

-AUDIENCE:

-Ooooooh!

But this is very good. This was just your first answer.

One for Bolivia.

Very, very well done. Not a pointless answer, therefore,

but a very impressive one.

Everything is now riding on your last two answers.

South Africa was the next.

Again, we're looking for countries within 4,000 miles of Tristan da Cunha.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said South Africa for £2,500.

Is it pointless?

It's right.

Well, Bolivia took us all they down to one.

South Africa now takes us down through the 30s, into the 20s,

into the teens...

Oh, 11.

APPLAUSE

OK.

That's fine. We've got one more answer.

Another excellent answer on the board - Namibia.

And, again, we're looking for countries within 4,000 miles of Tristan da Cunha.

Namibia. If it's right and if it is pointless,

it will win you £2,500 for your charities.

How many of our 100 people said Namibia?

It's right. Your third correct answer.

The first answer was Bolivia, scored one.

The second answer was South Africa, scored 11.

The third answer, Namibia, takes us down through the teens.

-Come on, come on!

-Passes 11, into the single figures, down we go.

Still going down...

You've done it!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Fantastic!

Very well done indeed.

Just brilliant.

There you go, Namibia!

A pointless answer,

which means you win that jackpot of £2,500 for your charities.

Very, very, very well done indeed.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

That's terrific stuff. As soon as you know where Tristan da Cunha is,

there are loads and loads of pointless answers.

So a great one to choose. Very well done.

You were right to concentrate on that one, as well.

Of the three, it's probably the easiest one.

But we'll look through the pointless answers for the different ones, as well.

Within 4,000 miles of Hawaii you find...

Four other pointless answers -

Arkansas, Minnesota, Missouri and Nebraska.

Very well done if you said any of those.

The capital cities within 4,000 miles of Canberra,

you really have to know your capitals for this one. It's a tough one.

Apia, which is Samoa.

Two Pointless favourites there. Funafuti, which is Tuvalu,

and Port Vila, which is Vanuatu.

Suva, which is Fiji.

In fact, everything was pointless there.

All the answers, other than Wellington, Jakarta, Singapore,

Manila and Port Moresby. Everything else pointless.

Now, onto this last one, where you guys won the money.

Fantastic news for your charities, very well played.

There's loads and loads of answers here.

The great Pointless favourite,

Central African Republic is a pointless answer.

Kenya, Madagascar. As you say, Hilary,

a few South American countries there, as well.

Paraguay. Surinam also a pointless answer.

But loads and loads of Africa. Sudan, South Sudan, Malawi,

Botswana, Chad, Swaziland, Comoros, Tanzania,

Zambia, Angola, Uganda, Mali, Congo,

Cote d'Ivoire, Liberia, Senegal, Benin.

Loads and loads of pointless answers.

-But we only needed one, that was Namibia. Congratulations.

-Thank you.

Thanks very much, Richard.

And thanks, once again, to our winning players, Ranj and Hilary,

who go away with today's jackpot of £2,500 for their charities. Very well done!

APPLAUSE

Join us next time when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE