Academia Pointless Celebrities

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong, and a very

warm welcome to this special academic edition of Pointless Celebrities,

the show where we are always striving to find the most obscure answers.

Let's meet today's Pointless celebrities.

And couple number one.

Dr John Cooper Clarke, poet.

Suzannah Lipscomb, historian at New College of the Humanities.

Couple number two!

I'm Mark Horton, I'm an archaeologist.

And I'm Alice Roberts, and I'm an anatomist.

Couple number three?

My name is Maggie Aderin-Pocock and

I'm a space scientist and a science communicator.

And I'm Jim Al-Khalili, I'm a physicist, author and broadcaster.

And finally, couple number four!

I'm Robin Ince, and I pretend to know about science for the purpose of radio.

And I'm Kate Williams, and I'm a historian and author.

Thank you very much, all of you, a very warm welcome to Pointless.

We'll get a chance to chat to each of you throughout the show as it

goes along. So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

He never knew what to become in his life.

Professor Osman, Dr Osman.

In the end, he just settled for Mister.

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya. Hey, everybody.

-Goodness me!

-Yeah.

-Have you ever felt underqualified before?

That's unbelievable, isn't it?

-I know.

-Might be the cleverest Pointless ever.

And I'm hoping, with all this skill,

I'm hoping all the questions are of the top 40 singles of Chico.

Or something like that. That would be a long round.

Lovely, yeah, wouldn't it? Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Now as usual, all of today's questions have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants here are looking for

those all-important pointless answers -

these are the answers that none of our 100 people gave.

Find one of those, and we will add £250 to the jackpot.

As today's show is a celebrity special,

each of our celebrities is playing for a nominated charity.

We're going to start off with a jackpot of £2,500, there it is!

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless!

APPLAUSE

Now remember this, if nothing else,

the pair with the highest score at the end of each round will be

eliminated. So do everything you can to make sure you do not have the

highest score. And there is no conferring till we get to the third round.

Best of luck to all four pairs.

Our first category this evening...

..is Band Members.

Band Members.

Can you all decide in your pairs, who's going to go first,

who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. And the question concerns...

People who left bands, Richard?

On each board, we're going to show you seven clues to people who were

fired from or who left famous bands,

we're also going to give you their initials to give you a bit of a

clue. Just name the most obscure one you can, please.

Seven on the first board, seven on the second,

14 in all to have a go at at home.

-Very best of luck.

-Thank you very much indeed.

So we are looking for these band leavers,

and here is our first board of seven. And we've got...

I'm going to read all of those again, here we go.

Now then... John, welcome back to Pointless.

Great to have you here again. John, you're still gigging, aren't you?

-Yes, indeed.

-So whereabouts are you gigging?

-Do you go around...

-I'm going to Portugal.

Off to Portugal? Yeah.

So you do international gigs?

International concern.

Fantastic.

Now then, John, what do you make of our board here?

OK, I'm going to go for Welsh

multi-instrumentalist who left

the Velvet Underground in 1968.

-John Cale.

-John Cale, says John,

let's see how many of our 100 people went for John Cale.

It's right...

Down to six. What a start to the show! Very well done indeed, John.

He's doubting if he needs to go on, six for John Cale.

That's a great start, John, very well played.

Yeah, he was classically trained as a cellist, John Cale.

-Yeah?

-There you go.

-How about that?

There you go.

Alice? Welcome back.

Now you said you were an anatomist?

-Yes.

-In the introduction there.

You have other disciplines as well, don't you?

I do. They're all kind of broadly related, though,

so I'm interested in the structure of the human body,

and I'm interested in that in terms of teaching that to surgeons.

So I look at the structure of the human body, I dissect bodies,

and I teach surgeons about that.

On the other side of that, I'm fascinated by old bones,

so I end up working with people like Mark on archaeological sites,

and digging up very ancient bones...

You're an osteoarchaeologist?

-Yes.

-Is that what that is?

-Yeah, yes.

-Very exciting.

There we are. Now, Alice, what would you like to go for on our board?

I think I'm going to go for

the pioneer of ambient music and influential producer.

And I think that's Brian Eno.

Brian Eno, says Alice.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Brian Eno.

It's right, well, six is our only score at this point.

Brian Eno, down to 15.

Not bad at all, Alice! Not bad at all!

Very well played. Brian Eno wrote

what some people say is the most heard piece of music ever.

Which is the music that comes up when you start Microsoft Windows.

Brian Eno, amongst his many other talents.

-Wow.

-Exactly.

-Wow.

-I know, right?

-Thank you.

Now, Maggie, welcome to Pointless, lovely to have you.

An astronomer, not just an astronomer,

but presenter of The Sky at Night now?

When did you start doing that?

About two years ago.

-Did you grow up watching Patrick Moore?

-Very much so.

That definitely fuelled my interest in everything that's out there.

This must be a dream job?

It was, although I think for the first episode,

I was a bit like a rabbit in the headlights.

-It was like, "Me, Sky at Night? What's going on?!"

-Aw!

But it was, it truly is a dream job.

Very exciting indeed. Now, Maggie, what would you like to go for?

I'm going to go for stayed signed up to Motown in 1975.

And I'm going for Jermaine Jackson.

Jermaine Jackson, says Maggie. Some vigorous nodding from Robin there

-on podium four.

-Bated breath!

-Let's see if that is right,

Jermaine Jackson, how many people said it?

It's right. Well, six is our low score, 15 our high at this point.

Oh, not bad at all, 29 for Jermaine Jackson.

Not bad at all.

Well played, Maggie, and Professor Ince was quite right, yes sir.

Jermaine Jackson, the thing we always say about Jermaine Jackson is

-the name of his son.

-Jermajesty.

Jermajesty, yeah.

-It's a lovely name.

-It is.

-Yeah.

-Very fine name, thank you very much, Richard.

Kate, welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

-Lovely to have you here.

Now your book on Josephine, I'm going to call her Josephine Bonaparte,

but that's probably not... What should we call her, Josephine?

We can call her Josephine Bonaparte,

She went through various surnames and a couple of husbands, so...

I mean, Napoleon was the last one.

But your book on her is being used as sort of a source material,

-but only half is being spliced together with Andrew Roberts' book on Napoleon?

-Yes.

To make a programme on the pair of them?

To make a series of the pair of them.

So my vision, of course, is that we can all have a role in the show as

maybe revolutionaries or that sort of thing, or perhaps people at court...

So this is a drama, it's being done as a drama?

-Yes, a drama.

-I think I would like to play Napoleon, please.

You'd like to play Napoleon?

-Don't you think?

-Yeah, you're the right build, aren't you?

Well, I think I am.

If I just work on the accent, I think I'm in.

What do you mean? Your accent's perfect.

-COMEDY FRENCH ACCENT:

-Thank you, that's very kind.

-You see?

Now, Kate, this board is all yours.

If I didn't know who Ginger Spice was, I'd be a traitor to my hair,

so that of course is Geri Halliwell.

Announced his departure from the boy band, Zayn Malik.

I think I'm going to go for Dave Lee Roth at the bottom.

OK, Dave Lee Roth, says Kate.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Dave Lee Roth.

It's absolutely right.

Well, six is our low score, 29 our high.

Oh, you passed 29... 14,

there you are, second lowest score in the round!

Very well done indeed, Kate.

-Very nice.

-Great answer, Kate,

and you chose the best one of

the ones that you knew as well, so well chosen.

Now, who left the Yardbirds?

-Eric Clapton.

-Eric Clapton.

That would have scored you 43.

You were quite right about Geri Halliwell, Ginger Spice.

Would have scored 75, and of course...

Zayn Malik, big scorer, though, would have scored you 50.

So the best answer on the board, John, John Cale.

-Well played.

-Very good indeed, thanks very much, Richard.

We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at those scores.

John, as Richard says, the best score of the pass with six there.

Then we travel up to 14, Kate and Robin, there they are.

15 for Alice and Mark, and then 29, Maggie and Jim.

You're not way out ahead, but Jim, you know what we need from you.

And we're coming back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, we're going to put seven more clues up on the board.

And remember, we're looking for these band leavers.

And here they are. We've got...

I'll read those all one last time.

Robin, welcome to Pointless.

-Hello.

-Great to have you here.

Now, Robin, growing up in the '80s like I did, in my teens in the '80s,

we were spoiled rotten with science programmes.

I suppose we had things like Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy,

which I suppose was comedy, but it had a big science influence on our

generation. Tomorrow's World, all those sorts of things.

Then there was a complete dearth of science programming.

And then you have come back,

you're at the forefront of the second wave of science programming.

For children and... You know what, actually people of all ages.

It is for all ages. I mean, that's the beautiful thing,

which I think now as you get...

The show that I do on radio with Brian Cox, which I... Predominantly

I'm on there to interrupt him every time I know the rest of the audience

are confused. There's a certain point he goes,

"..and at this point in quantum electrodynamics," and I go,

"I'd better interrupt - we're all lost."

So it's really exciting, we have eight-year-olds writing to us,

and we have 90-year-olds writing to us, and they all have brilliant,

exciting questions!

Fantastic. There we are, you've got a brand-new board.

You're on 14 - your target, to avoid

becoming high scores, is also 14.

I'm going to go with founding member of Pink Floyd who left in 1968,

-Syd Barrett.

-Syd Barrett, says Robin.

Here's your red line. If you can get below this red line with Syd Barrett,

you're through to the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

Very well done indeed.

Yup!

Oh, look at that! You needed 14, you got 14!

28 is your total. You are into round two.

Well played, Robin, terrific answer.

See, that's the interesting thing when you get people who are

scientists and professors, and they say they know nothing about the real world.

And you give them music, and suddenly,

it's all the low answers again.

If you're interested in things, you're interested in things.

-There you are.

-That's the truth, you tend to be interested in everything.

There we are, now, Jim... Welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

-Great to have you here.

Now in the world of physics, a great deal of what you deal in is theory.

I mean, people propound theories that sometimes don't get proven or

disproven until centuries later.

How does that go down, do you find that there's great rivalry within

physics? And if you put a theory out there, do people get very heated,

or are people very generally quite gentlemanly about this?

I guess it depends what area of physics.

There are certain fashionable areas where there is a lot of competition.

People come out with new ideas about what happened before the Big Bang,

for example, or...

-Before the Big Bang?

-Before that,

there are theories now dealing with that.

But there are other areas where we all get on absolutely wonderfully,

and we all help each other out and give each other ideas.

Good stuff. Now, 29 is your score.

A nice low score from you, Jim, at this point, should keep you in.

I'm going to go for left Genesis in 1975,

later being replaced by frontman Phil Collins. That's Peter Gabriel.

Peter Gabriel, says Jim. Let's see if you've chosen well.

No red line for you, because you're still the high scorers.

But let's see how many of our 100 people said Peter Gabriel.

He's right.

Ooh, it's not bad, 21. 21, taking

your total up to a nice neat 50.

Well played, Jim. The low scoring continues. Formed at Charterhouse,

Genesis. They all went on to be very successful individually.

-Yeah, didn't they?

-As well as a band.

-Thank you very much, Richard.

Mark, welcome to Pointless, great to have you here.

-Great to be here.

-Now, Mark, you're a professor at Bristol,

but also a TV personality.

How does that go down with your fellow academics?

Well, I'm not sure,

really because they wonder why I'm not doing undergraduate tutorials

at nine o'clock in the morning sometimes.

Have you seen Mark's hands? I just had to draw attention to Mark's hands.

-Well, yes, I'm afraid.

-They are...

They are an archaeologist's hands.

Are they? What, he found them?

-Exactly right.

-I've just come back from the trenches.

That's extraordinary. Which trenches, where?

Well, we've been hunting for some dead winter Vikings, which,

as it's a family show, I won't go into details.

Now then, Mark. You are on 15,

the high scorers at the moment are Jim and Maggie on 50.

34 or less keeps you well and truly in the game.

My knowledge of music kind of ends in the 18th century.

This one in Las Vegas vaguely is familiar.

Is there somebody called Diana Ross?

LAUGHTER

Yes, there might be.

Let's find out. Keep the jeopardy.

There's your red line. If you can get below that, Mark,

with Diana Ross, you are through to the next round.

How many of our 100 people said Diana Ross?

It's right.

59, for Diana Ross.

Good news for Jim and Maggie, back in the game.

-Welcome.

-Yeah, Diana Ross, apart from her musical career,

also took the most famous penalty in

football history at the opening of

the US World Cup.

She had to kick a ball into a goal, which then would fall apart,

from two feet. She managed to miss.

-Aw!

-She was very much the Emile Heskey of the Supremes.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Now, Suzannah. Welcome to Pointless.

Great to have you here. Now the Tudors is your period.

-Yes, yes.

-Why in particular the Tudors?

What got you into them?

It's much more comforting than talking about music.

Because it's a fascinating period of change and so much happens that's so

important to the history of our country and Europe and the world in

general. The Reformation, the Renaissance in northern Europe,

we've got these incredible characters, you know,

Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn, Elizabeth I,

it's the beginning of so much that we consider to be our modern world.

Very good indeed.

You've been very well set up by John. Six is your score.

67 or less gets you through.

I'm going to go with Duran Duran guitarist who left the band twice,

-Andy Taylor.

-Andy Taylor, says Suzannah.

Here is your red line. If you get

below this red line, nice and high,

you should be through comfortably to the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Andy Taylor.

It's right.

Very well done, you've done it.

Oh, look at that, down it goes.

Great answer. Brilliant,

16. 22 is your total.

Great work, Suzannah.

Very well played. At one point there were three Taylors in Duran Duran.

-Yeah.

-Roger, Andy and John.

And John. Yeah.

Let's fill in these, shall we? If you said Noel Gallagher,

it would have been very exciting because it would have scored you 67

points, you would be through by one point.

Noel Gallagher there. The next one, quit the boy band Busted.

-Charlie Simpson.

-Ah, Charlie Simpson.

12 points for Charlie Simpson.

And the Beatles drummer?

-Pete Best.

-It was Pete Best.

Yeah. 41 points for that,

so Charlie Simpson the best answer on that board.

-Well done if you said that.

-Thank you very much indeed,

so at the end of our first round the pair we are sending home with their

high score of 74, Mark and Alice.

-I'm sorry.

-Oh, boohoo!

Back to the trench.

I'm so sorry, but we have to send you back far too soon in my opinion.

Please come and play again.

Thank you so much, Mark and Alice.

Wonderful.

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

Wow. Three pairs remain.

At the end of this round, we'll have to say goodbye to another of those

pairs. But very well done, everyone.

Best of luck for our next round. The category for it is...

It's a words round. Can you all decide in your pairs who is going to go first,

who is going to go second.

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

Words ending UDE.

-Richard.

-Yeah, we are looking for any word which has its own entry in

the British And World English section of OxfordDictionaries.com,

please, that ends UDE. As always, no proper nouns, no hyphenated words,

anything like that. So any word that ends UDE.

There we go. John, always tough going first.

Pulchritude.

Pulchritude, says John.

Let's see how many... That's good, isn't it?

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for pulchritude.

-It's a lovely answer. Scores you one.

-Who's the one?

One for pulchritude.

Yes, one of those words that sounds awful and means something lovely.

I know, it does.

-It means beauty.

-Beauty. Yeah.

Lovely. Now, Jim.

What would you like to go for?

Oh, erm...

Latitude.

Latitude says Jim.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for latitude.

16 for latitude.

-Not bad.

-Yeah, latitude,

that's one of those words I never really understand what it means.

I kind of do. But if you ask me to define it, say,

on a television programme,

-I would struggle.

-There you are.

Now, Kate.

-Occlude.

-Occlude.

Occlude, let's see how many of 100 people said occlude.

-It's right.

-Oh!

It's a pointless answer!

Very well done indeed, Kate.

That adds £250 to today's jackpot and takes the total up to £2,750.

CHEERING

It scores you nothing and earns you our deep, deep respect.

Very well played, Kate. Terrific work.

It means to block or stop up something.

At home we play Occluedo, but we can't get the dice out of the...

That's an "occlude" joke for you.

-Thank you very much.

-My pleasure.

We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at those scores!

Nothing was the best score of that pass.

Very well done indeed. Kate and Robin,

very much top of the class at this point.

Very close behind them are

John and Suzannah on one.

And then Jim and Maggie,

they are on 16.

So, Maggie, we need a low score from you in the next pass.

Good luck with that. We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, now, Robin, remember.

It's any word that ends with the letters UDE.

I think denude.

Denude? OK.

Here is your red line. If you can get below this red line,

you are through to the next round.

How many of our 100 people said denude?

You're through! Four!

Four for denude.

-Four is your total.

-Well played Robin, you had denude.

It's what they have on page three of Der Spiegel.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

-Maggie.

-I'm going to go for platitude.

Platitude, says Maggie.

No red line for you - you're the high scorers.

But let's see how many of our 100 people said platitude.

Look at that, six for platitude!

Takes you all up to 22.

Yes, a remark or statement that has sort of lost all its meaning over time.

It's been too often repeated.

There we are, now, Suzannah.

-Verisimilitude.

-Verisimilitude.

OK. That was one of mine.

-No longer.

-Was it?

There is your red line.

If you can get below that with verisimilitude,

you are through to the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

You're through!

And it's pointless!

Oh! Very, very well done indeed! That adds another

£250 to our jackpot!

It takes our total up to £3,000!

Scores you nothing, leaves your total at one.

Very well done.

Great play. And it's a lovely word as well, verisimilitude.

It means to give the appearance of being real.

There's loads of pointless answers. We'll take a look at a few more of them.

Certitude, a pointless answer.

There's etude. Ineptitude is a pointless answer, ironically.

Schadenfreude. That's a good one, isn't it?

Turpitude, which you use on garden fence, just...

LAUGHTER

And verisimilitude.

The one which we just heard as well.

Thank you very much, Richard. So at the end of our second round,

the pair who are heading home with their high score of 22,

I'm afraid Maggie and Jim, it is you!

Thank you so much for coming to play.

Please come and play again, Maggie and Jim. Thanks so much!

APPLAUSE

Right! For Robin and Kate and John and Suzannah,

it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, John and Suzannah, Robin and Kate.

You are now one step closer to the final, and a chance to play for that jackpot for your charities.

Our jackpot currently standing at £3,000.

There it is.

So this is the bit where we decide who goes through to that round to

play for the jackpot, and we do that by making you go head-to-head.

But the big difference is, you're now allowed to play as team.

So you can confer before you give your answers.

First pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

Here's your first question.

And it concerns...

-Richard?

-I'm going to show you five pictures now of historical artefacts

or structures that are over a thousand years old.

Can you tell us what they are, please?

We're going to give you some of the letters as well.

-Very best of luck.

-Thanks very much indeed!

OK, let's reveal our five things that are over a thousand years old.

And here they come. We have got...

John and Suzannah, you're our low scorers, so you will go first.

Feel free to confer.

OK, we're going to go with D.

-Parthenon.

-Parthenon.

Now then, Robin and Kate, that board is all yours.

A is Terracotta Army.

B is Stonehenge.

E is Colosseum.

I don't think we're going to score less than them,

if we choose Terracotta Army.

OK, so should we risk C?

-Should we do it?

-Yeah. So we're

going to risk C, which we think is

-Karnak.

-Karnak.

OK, so we have Parthenon and Karnak.

John and Suzannah said Parthenon. Let's see if that is right for D.

Let's see how many of our 100 said it.

It is right.

54.

54 for the Parthenon.

Now, Robin and Kate have gone for Karnak.

For C. Is it right?

It deserves to be, let's see how many people said Karnak.

Oh!

-Sorry!

-No.

It's not Karnak, but very well done, John and Suzannah.

That means after one question, you are up 1-0.

Yeah, very well played. And it was the right tactic.

None of the other answers would have won you the point. So you had to go for that one, really.

Terracotta Army is only just above 54.

It would have scored 56 points, Terracotta army.

What do you think Stonehenge scored?

You'd like to think it would be ninety...

-95.

-..eight or more...

88.

LAUGHTER

The last one, of course, is the Colosseum.

That would have scored you 70.

And so the best answer on the board is, of course, C.

Begins with K.

Is there a thing called the Knoss or Knossa?

-Oh, no!

-There is indeed. On the island of Crete and it's Knossos.

-Oh, that's a minotaur!

-Knossos.

-Oh, no!

-It would have scored ten points.

Yes, a Minoan palace in Knossos.

Oh, no.

Here comes your second question. Robin and Kate, you get to answer it first.

But you have to win this one to stay in the game.

-So very, very best of luck.

-OK.

Our second question this evening is all about...

Going to play you five clips now from songs which,

at some point in them, spell out words.

We just need you to tell us the artist who is singing any of these songs,

-please.

-Thank you very much indeed.

So let's listen to our five songs.

And here we have... A...

# She walked up to me and she asked me to dance

# I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice she said Lola

# L-o-l-a Lola

# Lo-lo-lo-lo Lola

B...

# She said L-I-F-E-G-O-E-S-O-N

# You've got more than money and sense, my friend

# You've got heart and you're going your own way

# L-I-F-E-G-O-E-S-O-N

# What you don't have now will come back again

# You've got heart and you're going your own way...

Here's C...

# Our D-I-V-O-R-C-E

# Becomes final today

# Me and little J-O-E

# Will be going away... #

Here's D...

# R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me

# R-E-S-P-E-C-T, take care, TCB

# Sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me...

And here's E...

# D-I-S-C-O

# D-I-S-C-O

# D-I-S-C-O

# D-I-S-C-O... #

OK, there are our five songs.

Robin and Kate, you will go first.

We're looking for the artist who sang those songs.

-We think that more people will have gone...

-I think you're right.

-..or fewer people, that's the rules, isn't it?

-Yes.

Fewer people will have gone with C,

Tammy Wynette with D-I-V-O-R-C-E.

Tammy Wynette for C.

Now, then, John and Suzannah, talk us through the others.

Well, there's one that's a surefire and there's one that's a bit of a

-stretch.

-So let's go with...

-A?

-Yeah.

-I'm going to go with A.

Raymond Douglas Davies of The Kinks.

The Kinks. So we have Tammy Wynette and we have The Kinks.

Robin and Kate, you have to win this one to stay in the game.

-I know, yes.

-You went for Tammy Wynette for C.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Tammy Wynette.

14.

14.

Meanwhile, John and Suzannah have gone for A, The Kinks.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said The Kinks.

Which was the right one to go for?

19, very well done indeed.

Robin and Kate, back in the game.

After two questions, it's 1-1.

I knew this was going to be close.

Very well done. Let's fill in the rest of this board, shall we?

There are a couple of obscurer ones.

B, this is a lovely song.

# L-I-F-E-G-O-E-S-O-N... #

L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N by Noah And The Whale would have scored you one

point. Well done if you said that.

D, you were all right to avoid it.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T by Aretha Franklin.

That would have scored 27.

Now, this last one, Robin, you were going to go for a risky answer.

I can't remember if the band was The Trammps or Trammps with D-I-S-C-O.

-Yeah, that's it.

-OK, it was Ottawan.

LAUGHTER

With D.I.S.C.O.

Three points if you said that.

There we are. Thank you very much indeed.

OK, it all comes down to the decider, the third question.

Whoever wins the third question goes through to the final,

so very best of luck to both pairs.

Our third question this evening is all about...

-Richard.

-I'm just going to show you the initials now of five Bond film

titles. We need you to name the most obscure of these films, please.

Very best of luck. Whichever team gives us the lowest answer will go

through to play for the jackpot.

Thank you very much. Let's review our five clues, and here they come.

There we are. John and Suzannah, you will go first.

We have an answer, and John is going to deliver it.

A View To A Kill.

A View To A Kill, say John and Suzannah.

A View To A Kill.

So, then, Robin and Kate, we come to you.

We've got You Only Live Twice,

Quantum Of Solace,

The Living Daylights and...

The Living Daylights, we'll go with that.

The Living Daylights.

So we have A View To A Kill and The Living Daylights.

John and Suzannah said A View To A Kill. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for that.

It's right.

25. APPLAUSE

25 for A View To A Kill.

Meanwhile, Robin and Kate have gone for The Living Daylights.

Let's see if that's right.

-Let's see how many of our 100 people got it.

-Oh, gosh.

It's right.

Ooh, 23! GASPS AND APPLAUSE

Another needle match there.

And Robin and Kate, very well done, indeed.

After three questions, Robin and Kate,

-you are through to the final 2-1.

-Oh, no.

What a head-to-head. Very well played, everybody.

The top answer, You Only Live Twice, would have scored 77.

Quantum Of Solace would have scored you 49.

And the best answer on the board, 11 points...

The World Is Not Enough.

-It took so long to get.

-Oh, no!

Very well done if you said that at home.

There we go, thank you very much.

So the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

John, I'm afraid this is not the time you win the jackpot

-for the second time.

-I'm sorry, John. I let him down.

You will have to come back and do it again,

but you played so well, both of you, throughout.

It's been such a pleasure having you on the show.

Thank you so much. John and Suzannah. Superb.

APPLAUSE

But for Robin and Kate, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Robin and Kate.

You have fought off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £3,000.

APPLAUSE There it is.

I have to say, you have fought so hard to make it to this point.

Four things will appear on the board behind me.

Today's choices look like this. We have got:

Irish Pop, probably not.

What's wrong with Chocolate?

-If you want to go with Chocolate...

-Let's do it.

All right, let's get on with it.

-OK, what are we going to go for?

-Chocolate, yes.

It's going to be Chocolate. It's going to be Chocolate.

OK, very best of luck. Three very different questions here.

Three very different areas as well.

The first one is we're looking for any cast member

according to IMDB in the 2000 film of Chocolat.

We are looking for any UK top 40 single by Hot Chocolate.

Or we are looking for

any of the 50 top cocoa-producing countries, please.

The last time those statistics were updated was 2013.

So any of the 50 countries that produce the most cocoa.

Very best of luck.

Thank you very much, indeed.

As always, you've got up to one minute

to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that jackpot for your charities

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

-OK.

-Are you ready?

-Are we ready?

-Uh, yes.

OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are.

Your time starts now.

Right, I would have thought

that somewhere like Ghana

was a top cocoa-producing country,

but people may not choose Ghana.

What about Equatorial Guinea?

Do you think that's obscure?

Shall we just go with just top cocoa-producing countries?

Why not? I only know You Sexy Thing and surely everyone knows that.

Yeah, You Sexy Thing, definitely,

and Johnny Depp are not going to be pointless answers.

-KATE LAUGHS

-No.

So, shall we go with Ghana, Equatorial Guinea, did you say?

-Do you think Equatorial Guinea or Guinea-Bissau?

-Oh...

Ah, Guinea-Bissau, would that be in the top 50?

Uh...

Let's go with Equatorial Guinea and Guinea-Bissau and Ghana.

Then we have a lovely G set.

Should we try and trick them with a South American one?

-Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's do a trick as well.

-Like Bolivia?

Do they make chocolate?

Bolivian chocolate, definitely.

-I would say yeah.

-OK.

So do you want to go with Bolivia,

Equatorial Guinea and Ghana?

-Yeah.

-10 seconds.

-Why not?

-We'd like to make it clear that if we lose on this,

it's an altruistic act

so we can share the charity money amongst all of us.

-Yes.

-I hope that makes it clear.

-That's nice. Very good.

OK, Well, your minute is now up,

so let's have those answers officially.

So, Top Cocoa Producing Countries,

-we believe that we're going to go with Ghana.

-Ghana.

We're going with...

Was it Equatorial Guinea we chose?

-Yeah, Equatorial Guinea.

-Equatorial Guinea.

-And do you want to go with Bolivia? Guinea-Bissau?

-I need an answer.

-I need an answer.

-Bolivia!

Bolivia, OK, there we are. Three answers, good.

Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Equatorial Guinea.

-Equatorial Guinea we'll put last.

OK, least likely to be Pointless?

-Ghana.

-Ghana, and Bolivia goes in the middle.

-Yeah.

-Marvellous.

-Bolivia in the middle.

OK, well, let's put those answers up on the board in that order

and here they are. We have got...

Well, very, very, very best of luck.

If you were to win,

let's say one of these answers were to turn out to be pointless,

which charities are you playing for?

-Robin.

-I'm playing for the Sophie Lancaster Foundation.

If people would like to know more about the life of Sophie Lancaster,

they could see Black Roses by Simon Armitage and Sylvia Lancaster,

who is Sophie's mum.

She works very hard with her friends

to promote anti-bullying across the country.

Very good indeed. Kate, how about you?

My charity is the PCRF,

that sends medical teams to children across the Middle East

who need life-saving operations.

Very good indeed. APPLAUSE

Two fantastic charities there.

Let's hope one of these answers, at least, will turn out to be pointless

so you can split that prize money between those charities.

OK, your first answer is Ghana.

Now, in all three cases here,

you've given answers in the category of

our top 50 cocoa-producing countries.

Your first answer, I say, was Ghana.

Let's see if it's right.

If it is right, let's see how many of the 100 people said it.

This is for £3,000.

Well, it's right. That was the first thing it had to be.

Ghana takes us down through the 30s into the 20s.

If it goes all the way down to zero, you leave here with £3,000... 10.

We stop at 10 with Ghana.

APPLAUSE

10 people got Ghana.

Ooh, it's exciting. That was right.

Your next answer was Bolivia.

Bolivia. You quibbled a bit over whether to include Bolivia

-in your final three.

-Just a little bit.

But there it is, nonetheless. Let's find out.

Again, we're looking for the world's 50 top cocoa-producing countries.

If this is right and if it is pointless,

it will win you £3,000 for your chosen charities.

How many people said Bolivia?

It's right.

Well, your first answer was Ghana

and that took us all the way down to 10.

Bolivia takes us down through the 20s, into the teens.

Down it goes. It passes 10.

Still going down. Still going down!

3! 3 for Bolivia.

APPLAUSE

We're moving in the right direction. Two correct answers so far.

You only have one more chance to win today's jackpot.

Your third and final answer is Equatorial Guinea.

It's a wonderful answer, so often a pointless answer on this show.

THEY LAUGH

In this category, though,

the world's top 50 cocoa-producing countries,

is Equatorial Guinea going to be correct and is it pointless?

If it's both of those things,

it wins £3,000 for your chosen charities.

Let's find out how many people said Equatorial Guinea. Is it pointless?

It's right!

-Oh, well done. Well done.

-Equatorial Guinea is right.

Ghana was right, took us down to 10.

Bolivia was right, took us down to 3.

Equatorial Guinea now takes us down through the teens.

It passes 10. Down we go through the single figures. It passes 3.

It's done it!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Very well done indeed.

-Oh, thank you!

-Very well done.

What about that?

Not only have you given us a pointless answer,

not only have you given us

the tightest and most exciting head-to-head round in recent memory,

you get to take home that jackpot of £3,000 for your charities,

so very well done, indeed.

Robin and Kate! APPLAUSE

That's exactly the way we like to end a show.

The 41st most cocoa-producing country in the world,

Equatorial Guinea.

Congratulations to them, as well as to you.

Let's look at the pointless answers in all the different categories.

We'll start with the cast of Chocolat.

Every single member of this cast is pointless apart from

Johnny Depp, Juliette Binoche, Judi Dench and Alfred Molina.

Everyone else was a pointless answer.

Go on to Hot Chocolate singles.

Heaven Is In The Back Seat Of My Cadillac -

-later disproven!

-LAUGHTER

You Could've Been A Lady,

also Disco Queen, Don't Stop It Now,

I Believe In Love, I Gave You My Heart, Didn't I?

And I'll Put You Together Again. All of those were pointless answers.

And the cocoa-producing countries, lots of answers here.

Guinea-Bissau not one of them.

-Oh, Guinea-Bissau!

-Oh!

Cameroon, the fifth biggest producer.

Dominican Republic, Uganda.

Vanuatu, an old Pointless favourite.

The Democratic Republic of the Congo,

El Salvador, Gabon, Grenada, Guinea,

Guyana, Haiti, Liberia, Malaysia, Philippines,

Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, Samoa, Sao Tome and Principe,

Solomon Islands, Sri Lanka, Thailand and Timor-Leste,

all pointless answers.

Very well done if you said any of those at home.

and congratulations in the studio, terrific show and terrific finish.

-Thank you.

-Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

And thanks once again to our winning players, Robin and Kate,

who go away with our jackpot of £3,000 for their charities.

Absolutely brilliant. APPLAUSE

Join us next time, when we'll be putting

more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.