Episode 6 Pointless Celebrities

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong

and a very warm welcome to a special celebrity edition of Pointless,

the quiz show that puts obscure knowledge to the test.

Let's meet today's Pointless Celebrities.

APPLAUSE

Couple number one.

I'm Oliver Phelps and I'm here with my brother, James,

and we met about 26 years ago in my mum's womb.

Since then, we've been acting and you probably recognise us

from the Harry Potter series.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Couple number two.

Yes, well, I'm Peter Purves

and this is my dear little friend John Noakes.

I spent ten and a half years trying to keep him under control on Blue Peter.

I'm still having to do it. Here, behave yourself.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

And couple number three.

This is Janet Street-Porter. I'm Christopher Biggins

-and I'm an honorary Loose Woman.

-Exactly.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

And our fourth and final couple.

Good evening. I'm Ricky Groves.

This beautiful creature is Natalie Cassidy.

You probably might know us from such obscure programmes

-such as EastEnders and Strictly Come Dancing.

-Excellent.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you all very much indeed. These are our contestants.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you all very much indeed.

We'll be finding out more about you throughout the show,

as it goes along. There's only one person left for me to introduce.

He's here to prove this game isn't rocket science,

apart from today's round on rocket science.

It's my Pointless friend,

-it's Richard.

-Hiya.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Hello. Hello.

Can you believe we've got

-Peter Purves and John Noakes in the studio?

-No.

Isn't that brilliant? Genuinely a childhood dream come true.

And this is the studio where you filmed lots of Blue Peter -

-Studio 6 at the BBC.

-It is, yeah. We did all the big studios here, yeah.

But also, to have John Noakes and Christopher Biggins on the same show,

we know... It could be a long evening I suspect, don't you think?

LAUGHTER

There we go. Now, all our questions on Pointless

have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants here need to find the obscure answers

those 100 people didn't get.

Now, everyone's trying to find a pointless answer

that none of our 100 people gave.

And each time that happens we will add 250 quid to the jackpot.

Now, as today's show is a celebrity special,

and each of our celebrities is playing for a nominated charity,

we start off with a jackpot of...

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

So, right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

OK, in this round I'll take an answer from each of you.

There's to be no conferring.

And whichever pair has the highest score

at the end of the round will be eliminated

so try and make sure that is not you.

OK, our first category today is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. And our question concerns...

Famous people whose surnames begin with M. Richard.

On each pass, we're going to give you seven clues

to famous people throughout history whose surnames begin with M.

If you can identify a nice obscure one you'll score fewer points,

but give us an incorrect answer, you'll score 100 points.

There's going to be 14 in all to have a go at, at home. Good luck.

OK. So we're looking for the names of these famous people

hinted at by these clues.

All their surnames start with M and here is our first board of seven.

I will read all of those again.

Now, James, there we are.

-Welcome to Pointless, great to have you here.

-Thank you.

Now, you and Oliver have had a fantastic, fantastic ride

for the last...I guess, what, 12, 14 years?

12...yeah, we started filming the Potters in 2000.

-And the last one came out in 2011. So...

-Brilliant.

As the two older Weasley brothers, the twins.

Can you go anywhere in the world and not be recognised?

With this colour hair, yeah.

-Cos everyone thinks we're ginger.

-Yeah, good trick.

I've actually... Well, we were filming, I think we'd just

finished filming the second movie, and went on holiday to Mexico.

And I was swimming in the sea and actually had ginger hair at the time.

And this lady swam out to me and said,

"Are you in Harry Potter?" And I was just in the ocean like, "Yeah."

She went, "Oh. OK, great." And just swam back.

LAUGHTER

Very good. Now then, James,

how are we feeling about these people beginning with M?

I'm going to go for the top one - was born Farrokh Bulshara...Bulsara.

-I believe that was Freddie Mercury.

-Freddie Mercury, says James.

Freddie Mercury - let's see if that's right and if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Freddie Mercury.

It is absolutely right.

15!

-APPLAUSE

-15, that's a great score.

-15 for Freddie Mercury.

-Great start, James. Very well done.

Yeah, spent the bulk of his childhood in India at boarding school,

Freddie Mercury.

-Now then, Peter.

-Yes.

-Peter, a very, very warm Pointless welcome to you.

-Thank you.

-Great to have you here.

I mean, two, as you said, two proper stars from the 1970s.

-Thank you.

-Blue Peter watched by colossal audiences.

It's fabulous to have you here.

-Of course, we know you more recently from hosting Crufts...

-Yes.

-..which you've done for a number of years. Are you...?

-34.

Wow. Very good indeed. And what are you up to these days, Peter?

I'm doing quite a lot of things with Doctor Who

-because of course I was in that as well.

-Of course, you were.

We did that here as well but this studio wasn't built then.

-Steven Taylor you played in Doctor Who.

-I was, yeah.

That was even pre-Blue Peter.

-It was, yeah.

-Wow. Who's your Doctor?

-William Hartnell, the First Doctor.

-Very good indeed.

How exciting. Well, OK, here we are.

We have this board of people beginning with M.

-There are six of them left there, Peter.

-Yeah, it was a good shout.

I would have gone with the top one but I think I'll go for...

Karl Marx -

-Das Kapital, Communist Manifesto.

-Karl Marx, says Peter.

Karl Marx, the author of

Das Kapital and The Communist Manifesto.

Let's see if that's right and if it is,

let's see how many people said Karl Marx.

It's absolutely right.

15 is our lowest score so far.

54.

APPLAUSE

-It's a correct answer but it's a popular one.

-Well played, Peter.

Absolutely right, he wrote alongside Friedrich Engels.

-Now then, Janet.

-Yes.

-Janet, welcome. Lovely to have you here.

-Thank you.

-And you've come on with the Biggins. How did you...?

-Yes.

We were separated at birth.

We're twins like they are, really.

-Yeah, we really are.

-True actually, yes. Yes.

-Now...

-We're a miracle of genetic engineering.

If Biggins wouldn't keep dyeing his hair silver

it'd be much easier to see the likeness.

-Yeah, but you don't know what colour mine really is.

-Yeah.

-How do you know each other?

-I'm sure you've known each other for years.

-Well,

we've both got the loudest voices in any room.

And we've got lots of mutual friends and we've just been around,

-haven't we?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-We're kind of old but acceptable.

-Yeah, exactly.

Certainly acceptable. Now then, Janet, what about that board?

I'm going to choose the English author of Doctor Faustus.

Yes?

-Yeah...

-You want the answer?

-Go on.

-Christopher Marlowe.

-Christopher Marlowe, says Janet.

Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said Christopher Marlowe.

There we are.

Now, 15 - our lowest score so far.

Is Janet going to do...

Oh, she smashes through that.

Down to 6. Very well done, Janet.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

A score of 6 for Christopher Marlowe.

Well played, Janet.

It's the best answer so far. Best score yet.

He was only 29 when he died, Marlowe. He was stabbed in a row over a bill.

-Though some people thought he was a spy, Marlowe.

-Yeah.

-He was thought to be one.

-Yeah...

-I know...

..he worked with the Secret Service.

Well, Janet, he may have done, he may not have done.

I am not at liberty to tell you.

But certainly I work for a... Well, if I was a spy, I wouldn't tell you.

-But say I was...

-Yeah.

Then I would know that kind of stuff and yeah, he was a spy.

Yeah, but you are 100% not a spy.

-Oh, I'm not a spy!

-No!

-But if I was...

-Yeah.

-..I wouldn't be able to tell you.

-No.

-Thank you very much.

-LAUGHTER

-OK, now then. Now then, Ricky.

-Hello.

-Welcome back to Pointless.

-Thank you.

-Great to have you here.

Obviously a lot of people will know you as Gary, as you said,

from EastEnders.

But of course we know you as almost a Pointless champion.

-You were one point away, last time you were here.

-One point in it.

-You made it all the way to the final.

-Yeah.

-And you were one away from the jackpot...

-Yes.

..which is why you are back.

Back to see if I can just beat that one point, really, you know.

But you've also done all sorts of other things.

-You've done Celebrity MasterChef.

-Yeah. MasterChef...

-Now that...

-..Strictly Come Dancing. Different things, really.

-Yeah.

-How did you do on those?

-Not too bad.

Well, the MasterChef was a bit of a let-down

as I used to be a chef,

but I don't know whether or not I had the head start that time.

But on Strictly, for instance, there were some people that had

had more dancing experience and I sort of, actually, beat them.

So it's a bit weird that. But no, I have a go, shall we say?

Very good. OK, so we are looking for the surnames of these famous people

which begin with M. How do you feel about this board,

-because you're the last person to have it?

-Yeah...

-You can fill in all the blanks if you like.

-I'm going to go for...

See, Jamaica, immediately you go "Bob Marley," don't you?

JFK, obviously the Marilyn Monroe. It's all very much the same.

I think perhaps I'll just try for, eh...

Bobby Moore - the '66 World Cup final, if that's OK.

OK, that's the one you're going to go for - Bobby Moore.

Let's see if that's right.

Let's how many of our 100 people said Bobby Moore.

55 is our highest score.

You are through that.

Down it goes to 37.

Not bad at all. Very well done, Ricky.

-37 for Bobby Moore.

-Well done, Ricky, yeah.

Pele said of him, "Of the hundreds of defenders I've played against in my career,

"I'd pick Bobby Moore as the best."

That is quite a compliment.

And you actually picked the best answer of the ones you knew, Ricky.

That was well worked out cos Bob Marley is the Jamaican

singer-songwriter, which would have scored you 46 points.

Marilyn Monroe, absolutely right, sang Happy Birthday to JFK.

84 points. That's pretty good going.

And the best answer on the board by a mile,

received the Nobel Prize for physics, Guglielmo Marconi.

Would have scored one point.

Very, very well done if you said that at home. Terrific answer.

Thanks, Richard. Halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores.

6 is very much the best score of that pass, Janet.

Very well done indeed.

Janet and Biggins looking very strong at this juncture.

Then up to 15, where we find James and Oliver,

up to 37, Ricky and Natalie

and then up to 55 where we find Peter and John.

So yes, you are a little bit ahead.

John, luckily, I think you will be brilliant in this next pass.

You are going to need to be if you are going to stay on.

Best of luck. We are coming back down the line.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK. We are going to put seven more clues on the board.

Here they come. We have got...

I will read all of those again.

Remember, we are looking for these famous people whose surnames begin with an M.

Natalie, you are going to try and find the one you think the fewest people knew.

-I was much better on the other board. So much better.

-Really?

Yeah. This is quite difficult.

-But, Natalie, welcome to the show. Nice to have you here.

-Thank you.

-Most people will know you from playing Sonia.

-Of course.

-And, famously, playing the trumpet.

-True.

-Was that you, playing the trumpet?

-Very badly. Yeah, I played.

-But very badly.

-Were you taught for the part, or did...?

-I was.

I was just terrible but I did have to learn to play terribly.

-It was the character.

-Oh, yes.

Much harder than playing well.

-I'm obviously very, very good in real life.

-Of course.

Now, you are the second highest scorers.

The highest scorers are John and Peter on 55.

You are on 37 so if you can score 17 or less

you would avoid becoming the new high scorers.

I'm not going to go for the sport at the top,

just because it is so current. I'm going to leave that.

I'm going to have to go...

..with a member of the Beatles.

-And I'm going to go for Paul McCartney.

-OK.

Paul McCartney, says Natalie. Here is your red line.

It is quite low.

If you can get below that,

you will avoid becoming our new high scorers.

Paul McCartney, says Natalie.

Let's see how many people said that.

It's right.

-73.

-APPLAUSE

73 takes your total up to 110.

It's a big score, Natalie, but much better than getting 100. Exactly the right thing to do.

When I saw the question, it took me really quite a long time.

I was going through the Beatles.

-What? John Mennon?

-It's one of those that begins with M.

And I did, I thought, "George Morrison", before I realised.

-Now, Biggins.

-Sir.

-Welcome back.

-It's nice to be back.

-You have been on Pointless before. Great to have you here.

-And I lost.

I was out first. Lesley Joseph. Lesley Joseph and myself.

Disgraced ourselves. We were humiliated.

You were out far too quickly. That's not going to happen this time.

I can tell you emphatically that's not going to happen this time,

even if you score 100, which you won't,

you won't overtake the high scores of Natalie and Ricky there, on the fourth podium.

-Right.

-But, Christopher, great to have you back here.

-We're very lucky you can fit us in.

-I know. I cancelled everything.

Yes. I'm glad to hear it.

Tea with the Queen. She's devastated.

-The Two Queens Tea.

-LAUGHTER

That's an annual event.

-Now, then.

-Yes.

What are you thinking on this board?

I think I'm going to go with published Paradise Lost in 1667.

My answer is Milton.

There we are. Milton, says Biggins. Milton. Let's see if that's right.

Obviously, there's no red line for you.

You're already through. But let's see how many people said Milton.

Absolutely right.

-33.

-APPLAUSE

-33 takes your total up to 39.

-Well played, Biggins. Absolutely.

That poem concerns the biblical story of the fall of man

and introduces Satan as evil for the first time.

That's where that all comes from. Naughty Satan.

Naughty. Bad Satan.

Now, then. John. A very warm welcome to you, John.

A childhood hero of so many people. Fabulous to have you here.

Here we have a board.

We have a board of people whose surnames begin with M.

You are on 55 at the moment,

the high scorers on 110 are Natalie and Ricky.

If you can score 54 or less, you are through to the next round.

What's your answer going to be, John?

-The writer of The Goon Show, Spike Milligan.

-Brilliant.

Spike Milligan, says John.

OK. Let's see if that's right and if it is,

let's see how many people said it.

There is your red line. Below that, you're through to the next round.

Absolutely right.

And you're through to the next round. Very well done. 44.

-44, your score. 99, your total.

-APPLAUSE

Very well played, John. Spike Milligan.

John Cleese referred to him at the great god of us all. That's nice.

Now, then. Oliver. Finally, we come to you.

15 is what James scored in the first pass. Second lowest score, there.

-Fantastic scoring.

-Yeah, he did well.

I don't think I'm going to be getting to 15

but my answer's going to be elected president of the ANC in 1991.

And that's Nelson Mandela.

Nelson Mandela, says Oliver.

You're on 15. The highest scorers, on 110, are Natalie and Ricky.

If you can score 94 or less, you're through to Round Two.

Let's see how many people said it. Here's your red line. Nice and high.

Yep, you've done it. You're through. Well done.

-29.

-APPLAUSE

And a total of 44. Very, very well done indeed, Oliver.

Well played, Oliver. He was given the Nobel Peace Prize in 1993 as well.

In 2012 in London they displayed the book, he had...

Someone smuggled in the complete works of Shakespeare

to Robben Island, the prison where he was,

and he made lots of notes in it and lots of the other prisoners

he shared it with made notes and they put it on display in London.

It's very powerful. They call it the Robben Island Bible.

Nice, isn't it? Let's have a look at the rest of these answers.

The top one is Andy Murray. It would have scored you 53 points.

"Played Alex DeLarge in A Clockwork Orange" is Malcolm McDowell.

Would have scored 12.

The best answer on the board is "father-in-law of Daniel Day-Lewis".

I know the answer.

-Do you know that one, Janet?

-Arthur Miller.

-Arthur Miller.

Absolutely right. Another Marilyn Monroe connection, there.

Two points. He is married to Rebecca Miller, Arthur Miller's daughter.

Of course he is. Yes. There we are.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

At the end of Round One, our losing pair, with a high score of 110,

-I'm really sorry, Natalie and Ricky.

-I'm sorry for Ricky.

-He came on again. You will have to have him on again.

-Make it regular.

-Once every month at least.

-Thank you! Mwah!

Oh, Natalie.

Did you know any of those?

Once we filled them in you might have known.

-Spike Milligan. My dad's going to kill me.

-Yeah.

Goodbye to you. Natalie and Ricky, it's been lovely having you on the show.

I'm sorry. We had high hopes of you carrying off the trophy again.

-You'll have to come on another time.

-On his own.

-Not on his own at all!

Natalie and Ricky, thanks very much.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

For the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

Sadly, at the end of this round we'll say goodbye to another pair.

Janet and Biggins, I don't think it's going to be you.

That performance was incredible.

Biggins, you are now the only veteran left.

You've seen off Ricky.

I know! That was a surprise.

And Janet, sounded like you knew most of those answers.

I did know all the answers but I had to not tell him.

I was trying to whisper, jab him in the ribs when you weren't looking.

-Really? To spell things in Morse?

-I was trying to, you know...

-I'm black and blue.

-LAUGHTER

Very best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two is...

Can you all decide in the your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. And the question concerns:

-Richard.

-In a moment, Xander's about to show you five words.

We are looking for any country of the world that has any of these words in them.

You'll see five words. Any country of the world that has one of these five words in them, please.

That's either in their common name or in their long-form name.

As always, by country we mean a sovereign state

that is a member of the UN.

So any country of the world that contains one of the following words. Good luck, everyone.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

As Richard has just mentioned, we are now going to put five words on the board, and here they are.

We are looking for any country

whose name includes one of these words.

Now, then. Oliver.

Are you running a mile at the sight of any of these words?

No, not really.

There's a few but I'm trying not

to go for the most obvious ones.

I'm going to go for...

-St Lucia.

-St Lucia, says Oliver.

St Lucia. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said it. St Lucia.

Absolutely right.

-24.

-APPLAUSE

24 for St Lucia.

Well played, Oliver. In the eastern Caribbean Sea.

I bet if they had a Harry Potter premiere in St Lucia,

there would be a few hands going up.

Now then, John.

Any country which contains one of these words.

New Hebrides.

New Hebrides, says John. New Hebrides.

Let's see if that's right and if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people said New Hebrides.

Oh! Bad luck, John. I'm sorry.

-An incorrect answer.

-Can I go home?

-That scores you the maximum of 100 points.

-Does it?

-Richard.

-Unlucky, John.

It's worth going for an obscure one in this round but New Hebrides, it used to be a country.

It's now called Vanuatu.

-I thought there was something in it.

-But it's really, really unlucky.

Now then, Janet.

You've slightly freaked me by saying these countries have changed names.

-New Caledonia.

-New Caledonia, says Janet.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 said it.

-No!

-Bad luck, Janet.

I'm afraid that is an incorrect answer

and scores you the maximum of 100 points. We'll find out why.

Yeah. Sorry, Janet. Not a country, New Caledonia.

There is an island called New Caledonia but it belongs to France.

So not a country in its own right.

-Should have just gone for a nice, safe, simple one.

-OK.

We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at the scores as they stand. 24, Oliver and James.

Looking very strong indeed.

Then up to 100, where John and Peter,

Janet and Biggins are, all four, to be found.

So Peter and Biggins, it's going to be between you.

Whichever can come up with the most obscure country name

will be surviving at the end of the round.

We are going to be coming back down the line again.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK. We are looking for countries which contain the following words.

Now, then. Biggins, you are a little bit exposed here.

A little bit!

You went down on a Countries question last time you were on.

I did. I did.

I can see from Janet's face, she has got a good one.

I've got my other one that I didn't have just now!

-LAUGHTER

-I'm... Thought transference.

Erm...

South Pacific.

-LAUGHTER

-No! THAT'S NOT A COUNTRY!

Is it a river? A sea?

-It's a musical.

-It's a musical. We can sing from it.

-I can't believe it!

-Oh, dear. I'm sorry.

OK. You are going to say South Pacific.

No!

South Pacific. There's no red line for you

because you're already the joint highest scorers.

Let's just see what becomes of South Pacific.

-JANET:

-Don't know why we're looking. We know the answer.

What a shame!

Unfortunately, I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer.

That scores you the maximum of 100 points

and takes your total up to 200.

-Sorry.

-Oh, Biggins.

South Pacific is...is...yes.

Never is, never was a country. Maybe one day.

-You never know.

-Thank you very much indeed.

Now then, Peter.

Peter, the high scorers now are Biggins and Janet, on 200.

-You are on 100. If you can score 99 or less...

-There's lots in there.

So take an easy one.

Newfoundland.

Newfoundland, says Peter. Newfoundland.

Let's see if that is right and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

Here is your red line. Very high.

Newfoundland.

-Oh, no! I'm afraid that is an incorrect answer.

-You're kidding!

-JANET:

-Yes! Even I knew that!

-LAUGHTER

-That is an incorrect answer

and also scores you the maximum of 100 points.

Takes your total up to 200.

There were a million I could have chosen.

-Newfoundland is not a country?

-It is not.

It's part of Canada, I'm afraid.

But if you ever want to know what Janet Street-Porter looks like

doing a delighted dance, you just found out.

LAUGHTER This is going well!

Isn't it? Thank you very much indeed.

Now then, James.

James, look at this. Here's great news. You are in the head-to-head.

You're on 24. Doesn't matter what you score.

You'll never overtake the 200 that the other two teams have scored.

Anyway. There we are. You are on 24.

When I was standing there,

I was trying to think of the Olympics opening ceremony,

trying to think of all the countries that come through

and you think, "Is that actually a country?"

And standing here, I thought that South Pacific may have come up.

-Can we check my answer?

-LAUGHTER

Hold on, Biggins, I'll check.

-Thank you very much.

-Yeah, you're wrong.

LAUGHTER

I'm just going to play safe and go with New Zealand.

New Zealand, says James. Thank you. New Zealand.

There's no red line for you because you're already through

but let's see how many people said New Zealand.

Absolutely right.

60.

-Takes your total up to 84.

-APPLAUSE

Well played, James. Finally. Safe, solid.

We all know New Zealand is a country.

Back in the '80s, famously,

there were 20 sheep for every person in New Zealand.

Now it's only seven.

That's either great news for people or terrible news for sheep.

-I can't work it out.

-It's a little bit of both, isn't it?

-Anyway, we've got a tie-break.

-This is exciting. We've got deadlock.

THEY IMPERSONATE SOUND EFFECTS

Now we're going to have to go to the public vote. Is that how this works?

It's a tie and as it's a tie,

the pairs have to give me one more answer each

and the pair that gets the highest score will be eliminated.

You may now confer. John and Peter, you go first.

St Kitts and Nevis.

St Kitts and Nevis, say Peter and John.

St Kitts and Nevis.

So, then. Biggins and Janet, let's have an answer from you.

BOTH: Papua New Guinea.

Papua New Guinea. OK.

So, in the order they were given,

St Kitts and Nevis.

Let's see how many people said it. St Kitts and Nevis.

St Kitts and Nevis is right.

Down we go. Still going down.

-7.

-APPLAUSE

St Kitts and Nevis, taking your total up to 207.

Now, then.

Biggins, if you can score 6 or less...

If you can score 6 or less with your answer, Papua New Guinea,

you are through to the head-to-head. Let's find out.

Will it beat St Kitts and Nevis?

It's right.

Down. Oh, 11.

-APPLAUSE

-11 for Papua New Guinea.

Takes your total up to 211.

Very, very well played, Peter and John.

Tough luck, Biggins and Janet. That's a shame.

-That, presumably, was the other one you had in the normal round?

-Yes.

That's what we should have done, before he had his moment.

-He had his turn.

-My musical moment.

There's a couple of pointless answers and they're very tricksy ones

so I'd be surprised if anyone got either of these.

but there are some other smaller answers.

The two pointless answers are the full titles of these countries.

The United Mexican States is another word for Mexico,

and the United Republic of Tanzania.

Both of them would have been acceptable and pointless.

Some of the low scorers.

Marshall Islands would have scored you 1 point.

The newest country in the world, South Sudan,

would have been a terrific answer and scored you 2 points.

And St Vincent and the Grenadines a good answer as well,

would have scored you 3 points.

Let's take a look at the higher scorers.

The ones that most of our 100 said.

And absolute top of the shop, as you would expect, the United States of America.

Thanks very much, Richard.

At the end of Round Two, our losing pair, with a high score of 211,

I'm afraid, is Biggins and Janet.

Oh, dear. I'm so sorry. I honestly thought you were finalists.

And we just had a moment, there.

We had a moment.

But I'm going to go and take him outside and just beat him up.

LAUGHTER

On that note, we wish you every best wish.

Thank you for coming and playing, Biggins and Janet.

Lovely having you on the show. Brilliant contestants.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

But for the two remaining pairs,

they are a step closer to the final

and the chance of taking home our jackpot for their charities as we enter the head-to-head.

Well, congratulations, James and Oliver, John and Peter.

You are now only one round away from the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot, which stands at £2,500.

One pair can win that money. To decide which it going to be,

you are now going to go head-to-head.

This time you are allowed to confer.

The first pair to win two questions

will be first to play for the jackpot.

Very best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

OK. Here comes your first question and it concerns...

We are going to show you five pictures of dogs from films.

You need to tell us which famous character our dogs are playing.

Very best of luck.

OK. Let's reveal our five dogs in roles, and here they are.

We have got...

There we are. There are five dogs.

We want to know which roles

they are playing.

James and Oliver, you've played best through the show so you get to go first.

Right, OK. There's three of those that we know.

But they are probably the most obvious.

-We are going to go D, which is Hooch. Hooch.

-Hooch.

Hooch, said James and Oliver.

D is Hooch.

Now, then. John and Peter.

The rest of the board is yours. You can talk us through it.

The only one we are dead certain on is B,

which I'm sure everyone will have.

The little Chihuahua or whatever,

I should know that and I can't remember.

-Have to go with B, which is Toto from the Wizard of Oz.

-OK.

B, Toto. We have Hooch Vs Toto.

James and Oliver have said Hooch.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 said Hooch.

It's absolutely right.

APPLAUSE

36 for Hooch. John and Peter have gone for Toto.

Let's see if Toto is right. Let's see how many people said Toto.

It's right. Peter thinks everyone is going to have said it.

-They haven't. 57 have.

-APPLAUSE

57. Which means, James and Oliver, after one question, you are up 1-0.

Well played, James and Oliver. Peter, do you know what breed Toto was?

It's a terrier but it's not a Scottie. It is Cairn, probably.

Oh, he's good. A female Cairn terrier called Terry. Well done.

Unfortunately, you don't get points for it, but it's very impressive.

An extra bonus of 19 would be good.

Hooch was from Turner And Hooch.

Now, A is Beethoven.

-From the Beethoven series of films.

-Of course it is.

It was a big scorer, though. 43 points.

C is a pointless answer.

It is from As Good As It Gets, when Jack Nicholson won his Oscar.

It's Verdelle. Very well done if you said that. Pointless answer.

Would have added £250 to the jackpot.

And right at the bottom, from Legally Blonde.

That's Reese Witherspoon on the right and on the left it is Bruiser.

Two points. Very well done if you said that.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. Here comes your second question.

John and Peter, you have to win to stay in the game.

Best of luck. It concerns...

-Quite simply, apples.

-How do you like them apples?

We're going to show you the names of five apples now but they are in anagram form.

Can you unscramble them and give us the best answer?

OK. Let's reveal our five anagrams of apples, and here they come. We have got...

There we are. Now then, John and Peter, you go first this time.

OK. We are going with the top one. Red Delicious.

Red Delicious. Red Delicious, say John and Peter, for the top one.

James and Oliver, the board is yours.

We're going to play it safe.

Apples is not our strong point.

We are going to go with the bottom one, which is Granny Smith.

Granny Smith, say James and Oliver. Granny Smith.

So we have Red Delicious and Granny Smith.

John and Peter said Red Delicious.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

There we are. It's right.

Red Delicious. Down it goes.

-5!

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Fantastic!

5 for Red Delicious.

James and Oliver, you have gone for Granny Smith.

Let's see how many people said Granny Smith.

Absolutely right.

-40.

-APPLAUSE

John and Peter, you're back in the game. Very well done.

-After two questions it's one apiece. Richard.

-Brilliant work from Peter.

-Have you heard of Red Delicious?

-Yeah.

-Or did you work out the anagram?

Nothing to do with Golden Delicious. Completely different variety.

It's an American apple.

A GAL is Gala.

It's a big scorer, though. It would have scored 87 points.

MA BERYL is a very good score, actually, it's Bramley.

Would have scored 12.

And REPAIR MY KILO is a pointless answer so anyone who got this,

very, very well done.

It is a York Imperial. York Imperial. A pointless answer.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Here comes your third question.

Whoever wins this goes through to the final

and plays for that jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs. It concerns...

Simply going to give you five questions about the six wives of Henry VIII.

The most obscure answer is going to see you through to the jackpot round.

Best of luck to both teams.

OK. Let's reveal our five clues to facts about the wives of Henry VIII, and here we are.

So there we are, five clues to facts about Henry VIII.

Now then, James and Oliver, you go first again this time.

I'm going to take an absolute...

..educated guess, which is totally nothing to do with me.

I've got absolutely no idea.

I'm going to say the first wife to be executed is Anne Boleyn.

Anne Boleyn, says James.

Anne Boleyn, first wife to be executed.

John and Peter.

I have a sneaky feeling his fifth wife was Jane Seymour.

The wife buried beside Henry must have been one who outlived him,

so she wasn't executed.

I think we'll go for the wife who died ten years after Henry...

..who I think is Catherine Parr.

Catherine Parr. The wife who died ten years after Henry.

Catherine Parr, say John and Peter.

So James and Oliver, you have gone for Anne Boleyn.

Let's see if that's right and if it is,

let's see how many people said Anne Boleyn.

It's absolutely right.

-36.

-APPLAUSE

36. Very well done, James and Oliver.

Now, then. John and Peter.

You said Catherine Parr was the wife who died ten years after Henry.

Catherine Parr.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many people said Catherine Parr.

Oh, no! Wow!

-We lost it.

-There's a turn-up! Look at that.

James and Oliver, after three questions, you are through to the final 2-1. Very well done indeed.

Yes, Catherine Parr sounds like the right answer, doesn't it?

Cos she was the last wife and she survived him.

But she died a year after him

and it was one of the marriages that was annulled.

It was Anne of Cleves, was the wife who died after him.

Would have scored 4 points as well. Would have been a terrific answer.

Catherine Parr is an answer here

but she's an answer to the wife who married four times herself.

Henry VIII was her third husband and she had one more afterwards.

6 points, that would have scored.

His fifth wife was Catherine Howard.

Would have scored you 19 points.

And it wasn't Jane Seymour

but actually the wife buried beside Henry was Jane Seymour.

And she would have scored 11 points.

Anne of Cleves the best answer there

but turns out Anne Boleyn was the best answer on the show.

-Well done, guys.

-Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Our losing pair at the end of the head-to-head, I'm afraid, is John and Peter.

Brilliant, brilliant head-to-head. Very exciting indeed.

Red Delicious a particular high point, I'd say.

Very, very close-fought, that one. Very exciting indeed.

It has been a real pleasure having you both on the show.

John and Peter, true heroes of our childhood.

Fabulous to have you on Pointless.

-Thank you so much for playing, John and Peter.

-Thanks very much.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

But for James and Oliver it's now time for our Pointless final.

Well, congratulations, James and Oliver.

You've seen off all the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot for your charity

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £2,500.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Well done. You made pretty easy work of that.

-I thought they had us in the last round, to be honest.

Maybe, maybe they might have done.

But then Anne Boleyn came riding to your rescue.

I think we'd like to dedicate that to Miss Young, who taught history.

-LAUGHTER

-Very good.

Best of luck in this final round. The rules are very simple.

To win that money for your charity, all you have to do is find the pointless answer.

Do that and you will leave here with that £2,500.

First, you've got to choose a category, and here are your five options. They are...

UK Politics can be anything.

Chemistry didn't really appeal to me in school

so I can't really say too much for that.

Do you know anything on the periodic table?

-No!

-I think that's out.

-Shall we go with Welsh Bands? We'll go Welsh Bands, I think.

-OK.

Welsh Bands. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

..as they could. Richard.

We are looking for the title of any top-40 single by the Welsh band the

Stereophonics or a top-40 single that had them named as featured artist.

So any top-40 single by the Stereophonics.

Where double A-sides are released, either name will count. Good luck.

OK. You now have up to one minute to come up with three answers

and all you need to win that jackpot of £2,500 for your charity

-is for just one of those answers to be pointless. Are you ready?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-OK. Let put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

Off the top of my head, Dakota. That was a number one.

Dakota. The Long Way Round.

-Have A Nice Day.

-Have A Nice Day.

Handbags And Gladrags. That was Rod Stewart.

-They covered it.

-They covered it, though.

Erm... That's about it.

-Handbags... Gladrag And The Thief.

-Right?

Erm...

Stumped. I've got it. Erm...

-CLICKS FINGERS

-There's a song.

-I think it's called It Means Nothing.

-Yeah.

"It means nothing without you."

-Is that a single? Yes, it was.

-It was. Erm...

-Was this top-ten singles or just...?

-Top-40 UK singles.

That was in there.

-I'm gone.

-OK.

Ten seconds left.

-Any others?

-No.

Long Way Round...

OK. That's time up.

So we were looking for Stereophonics UK top-40 singles.

-I now need your three answers. What are you going to give?

-OK.

-I think we're going with The Long Way Round.

-The Long Way Round.

-It Means Nothing.

-It Means Nothing.

-And...

-Handbags and... Oh, no. That was a re-release.

Bartender And The Thief.

And The Bartender And The Thief.

I think that... I know the song. I'm not sure if that was the title.

-Bartender And The Thief.

-Yeah.

-OK.

Of those, which do you think is your best shot at a pointless answer?

I'm going to guess The Long Way Round, and I know that

because it was the title for the Ewan McGregor programme.

Yeah.

OK. So The Long Way Round. We will put that last.

What's your least likely to pointless, do you think?

-Handbags...

-Bartender And The Thief.

Bartender And The Thief. OK. We will put that one first.

-I'll go, then. Yeah.

-OK.

Let's put them up on the board in that order. Here they are.

We were looking for Stereophonics UK top-40 singles.

Your first answer, The Bartender And The Thief,

you thought was your least confident shot at a pointless answer.

Only one of these needs to be pointless

for you to win the jackpot of £2,500

so let's see how many people said The Bartender And The Thief.

It's absolutely right.

Down it goes. Past the 50 mark.

If this goes all the way down to zero, you leave here with £2,500.

It's still going down. Oh, 9.

-APPLAUSE

-9.

Great answer.

Sadly, though, we are only interested in pointless answers

in this final round so I'm afraid that one won't win the jackpot

for you but £2,500 will be going to your charities

if you can win with one of these two remaining answers.

James, what's your charity?

Our charity is very close to our hearts,

which is called the Help Harry Help Others charity,

which is an amazing charity started by a young guy called Harry Mosley.

Basically, Harry, when he was seven he was diagnosed with a brain tumour

so he started making these bracelets

and, unfortunately, Harry passed away last year,

but before his death, he raised just over £750,000.

-Wow!

-APPLAUSE

Brilliant. Brilliant. Very, very well done.

Let's hope one of your two remaining answers will win that jackpot for the charity. OK.

We are looking for Stereophonics UK top-40 singles.

Let's hope nobody said the next answer. It Means Nothing.

Now, this has to be correct and then it has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot.

So for £2,500, let's see how many people said It Means Nothing.

It is absolutely right.

The Bartender And The Thief took us down to 9.

It Means Nothing, taking us down through the teens.

Into single figures.

Down it goes! Still coming down!

-2! Very, very well done.

-AUDIENCE GROANS

APPLAUSE

From 9 to 2.

It's looking very good for your final answer, The Long Way Round.

It has to be pointless for you to win the jackpot.

This is your last crack at it.

Let's see how many people said The Long Way Round.

Oh, no!

-Oh, bad luck!

-APPLAUSE

Two brilliant answers, there.

And your second answer, It Means Nothing, so nearly pointless.

Unfortunately, you didn't manage to find that all-important

pointless answer, so I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £2,500.

However, as it is a celebrity special,

we're going to donate £500 to each celebrity pair

for their respective charities.

You've been brilliant contestants. Great to have you on the show.

And you get to take home the Pointless trophy as well

so very well done. Richard.

The Long Way Round, as you say, it was the Ewan McGregor TV series.

It was on the B-side of Dakota

so if you bought the Dakota CD it was on there.

But it wasn't a single so it wasn't a top-40 hit, so it's tough luck.

You said Handbags And Gladrags, would have would have scored you 13.

Have A Nice Day would have scored 8.

There's some pointless answers up here. A few top-ten hits as well.

Two big singles from Performance And Cocktails.

Hurry Up And Wait, I Wouldn't Believe Your Radio, both pointless.

Madame Helga, which was a number four.

That was also a pointless answer.

More Life In A Tramp's Vest, one of their very early hits from the '90s.

Moviestar they released online. My Friends, also a pointless answer.

Pick A Part That's New was a pointless answer,

and two singles from the Just Enough Education To Perform album.

Step On My Old Size Nines and Vegas Two Times, both pointless.

A couple more.

Rewind, Since I Told You It's Over and Superman, all pointless.

Well done if you got those at home. You've been terrific.

Very, very well played and sorry you didn't quite hit the jackpot.

Unfortunately we say goodbye, James and Oliver,

but it's been fantastic having to you on the show.

-Thank you so much for playing. Brilliant, brilliant contestants.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Join us next time, when we will be putting more obscure knowledge to the test.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me, goodbye.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd