Experts Pointless Celebrities

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and a very warm welcome

to this special experts' edition of Pointless Celebrities,

the quiz show that puts obscure knowledge to the test.

Let's meet today's Pointless celebrities.

And couple number one.

I'm Rachel De Thame and this is my friend and colleague...

-Diarmuid Gavin. And we're both...

-Gardeners.

Hooray!

APPLAUSE

And couple number two!

I'm Tommy Walsh and some people say

I'm pretty handy round the house and the garden.

And I'm Lee Stafford and I'm a hair stylist.

APPLAUSE

And couple number three!

I'm Kim Woodburn, goddess of clean and an author

and this is my lovely, lovely chef.

I'm Simon Rimmer, I'm a chef and I present Sunday Brunch on Channel 4.

APPLAUSE

And finally, couple number four!

I'm Olly Smith and I'm a wine expert.

-And this...

-I'm Jilly Goolden

and I'm a wine expert, but I've also been known to do antiques,

travel and food, as well.

But that doesn't make me good at them.

And these, ladies and gentlemen, are today's contestants!

Thanks, all of you. We'll find out more about you throughout the show as it goes along.

That just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

Combining a soupcon of specificity, a dash of detail

and a heaped teaspoon of hunk, it's my Pointless friend. It's Richard.

Hiya.

Hi, everybody. Hiya.

There you go.

-Good evening.

-Good evening.

-What a nice bunch we've got here.

-I know!

-Aren't they nice?

-All experts.

-Experts, every one of them.

Can I just say, didn't you love the way Kim said "author"?

-I've never heard it said like that before.

-Yeah, that was impressive.

-Say "author" again, just for me.

-Author.

ALEXANDER GIGGLES

-What about that?

-It's quite something, isn't it?

I'm going to have that as my ringtone.

LAUGHTER

Talking of Kim and Simon, they've both been on before.

They both came on with different partners last time,

-they both got knocked out in the first round.

-Yeah.

Cos Simon made the mistake of coming on with Tim Lovejoy,

who he presents Sunday Brunch with, and Kim, of course, came on with

Kerry Katona, and they got knocked out in the first round as well.

-They should come back as a pair.

-Do you think?

-ALEXANDER LAUGHS

-Yeah, I do.

That I would like to see.

If you're watching, you two, come on.

But how desperate are they going to be for you to be knocked out in the first round?

They don't want you to trade up to a new partner and do well, do they?

I think, at the end of the day, we're doing for kind of...

I'm doing it for kind of Team Brunch,

-so Tim will be rooting for me.

-He won't be, he won't be at all.

-Of course he won't be. Of course he won't be.

-No?

If you go out in the first round, he will be delighted. He'll be so happy.

The first two questions today are really lovely questions.

There's something for everyone in the first two. There's nothing to panic about in the first two.

I think they're all quite fun. The second one's quite difficult.

-But fun.

-In a nice way, yeah.

-Thanks very much.

All our questions on Pointless have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants need to find the obscure answers those 100 people didn't get.

What everyone's trying to do is find a pointless answer -

that's an answer that none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens, we will add 250 quid to the jackpot.

As today's show is a celebrity special,

and each of our celebrities is playing for a nominated charity,

we start off with a jackpot of £2,500.

Right. If everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

OK. In this first round, I want an answer from each of you, but there is to be no conferring.

At the end of the round, whichever pair has the highest score will be heading home. OK.

Our first category today is...

Pop music. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many

ABBA UK Top 20 singles as they could.

ABBA UK Top 20 singles. Richard.

We're looking for any single released by ABBA that's reached

the UK Top 20, please. Where they were double A-sides,

we'll treat each song as a different answer. I hope that's an acceptable first round.

-That's all right, isn't it?

-I think it's all right.

-Not too bad.

It's difficult to know what's the most obscure one,

-but everyone can have a little go, can't they?

-Surely.

-Is that OK at home? That's all right, isn't it?

-I think it's fine.

I'll change it, I'll change it.

I think it's fine. Jilly, are you all right with that?

-You're happy with that?

-I'm very happy with that.

-Jilly's happy with that.

-I've got another one.

-It's fine, it's fine.

Diarmuid and Rachel, you all drew lots before the show, and today

you are going to go first, and Diarmuid, you have stepped up first.

-Welcome to the show, Diarmuid, great to have you here.

-Thank you.

You've designed gardens all over the world, haven't you?

-Yes.

-Where is the most exciting place you've designed a garden?

We're designing a garden at the moment for the White House

-in Washington, which is pretty exciting.

-That's quite exciting.

There's only one problem. They don't know about it.

-They do now.

-LAUGHTER

The White House was designed by an Irish architect,

guy called James Hoban from County Kilkenny,

and he won an international competition,

based it on Leinster House, the seat of Irish Government,

and we reckon they don't have an Irish garden, so we've designed a lovely...

So what's going to go into the Irish garden?

Well, it's inspired by the Oval Office, so it's an oval-walled garden

with an oval pavilion for the president to sit

-and press a red button.

-Nice place to do it! Now, then, Diarmuid, ABBA.

I remember ABBA, Arrival.

Do you remember the picture, the album cover of them

in the helicopter when they were really huge?

I pretty much remember them winning Eurovision.

-You were far too young for that.

-I think I'm older than you!

And they're good,

and I know there's an ABBA museum just about to open in Stockholm,

I think, so I don't know how good I'll be on obscure ABBA,

but let's see.

OK. What are you going to say?

-The Day Before You Came.

-The Day Before You Came, says Diarmuid.

Let's see if that's right and, if so, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

AUDIENCE GROANS

That is an incorrect answer. That has scored you 100 points.

Maybe they didn't write it yet.

ALEXANDER LAUGHS

It's for the reunion. Don't they all get back together?

I think they do in the end, yes. Richard, what's going on?

That's a real shame. It's a brilliant song as well.

It was a single but it wasn't Top 20. It was at 32.

-It wasn't one of their big hits, I'm afraid.

-It was one of their best.

I agree, so download it, but it still counts as 100 points.

-Too clever. You were too clever.

-Too clever.

-I'll tell you what.

I'll change the question, I'll change the question. This is ridiculous.

We'll go on, Richard, as it is. It's fine. We'll go on as it is.

-Now, Lee, welcome...

-Thank you.

-..to the show.

How long have you been cutting hair for?

-Erm... 20... 31 years now.

-Wow.

You see, that is the perfect training for Pointless,

cos you're going to know everything.

All the trivia, all the holiday destinations.

-But who cuts your hair?

-My wife, actually, Jess. What do you think?

-She'll all right.

-She's brilliant. That's a cracking haircut there.

-Lee, ABBA.

-I'm going to go with Knowing Me, Knowing You.

-A-ha.

OK, let's see if that's right and, if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Knowing Me, Knowing You.

It's right.

21.

Good answer, Lee. 21 for Knowing Me, Knowing You.

-Well played, Lee. Number one single from 1977.

-Thanks very much indeed.

-Now, Simon. Simon, welcome. I'm loving the beard, Simon.

-Thank you.

It's quite manly, isn't it?

Now, if you shave your head, as you do,

where do you decide to end the beard?

It's a bit of a trial and error.

What I'm trying to do is gradually... Is it working?

Yeah, you just got to go "dun" like that and you pick your point.

Or...grow it up to there.

LAUGHTER

And then cultivate a little bit of a comb-over, maybe.

No, no, just grow it up to there. I think it might look good.

Just try it.

-I'll do it.

-You'd look like one of those sort of...

-HE LAUGHS

You know those things with the iron filings and the magnet?

-That's what you'd look like.

-LAUGHTER

I've got a really lucrative contract with the people that make those.

I'm going to go and buy one right away.

Anyway, what are you going to go for? ABBA songs.

-I'm going to go for Chiquitita.

-Chiquitita, says Simon.

Let's see if that's right and, if so, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right.

Well, 21's our best score so far.

Chiquitita takes you past that.

11! Look at that, Simon.

-Where are you now, Lovejoy?

-Yeah!

-11 for Chiquitita.

-Well played, Simon.

This is already better, isn't it? Number two hit for ABBA.

-Means "little girl" in Spanish, Chiquitita.

-Thanks very much indeed.

Now, Olly, welcome to the show. A wine expert.

-You write about wine.

-I do.

I write a weekly column about wine

and I broadcast about wine on Saturday Kitchen,

and I taste an awful lot and find out how you say "hangover" in 80 different languages.

Can you think of any nice... You think, "What have you got to write about tonight?"

People have to review things. And you have review a bottle, but you review something that's there

and you just sort of...

That's quite nice, isn't it?

-That's your work.

-It's terribly good. I mean, you can imagine.

Do reviews just start good and then just...go a bit off by the end?

It's completely marvellous by the end of every single bottle.

Essentially you're like a theatre reviewer but you just do the interval.

LAUGHTER

That is, in fact, my job description.

Olly, what did you do before you were a wine reviewer?

I was a screenwriter for kids' television.

I wrote for Pingu, Charlie And Lola, a little bit for Wallace And Gromit.

-I did animation.

-Hang on.

So you did the scripts for Pingu, which is

basically someone going, "Ong, ong!"

LAUGHTER

They talk in Peguinese, actually. It's a language. I speak it.

-Only understandable after a bottle of wine, I think.

-Exactly.

OK, now, Olly, what are you going to go for?

So, I'm going to go for The Winner Takes It All.

The Winner Takes It All, says Olly. Let's see if it's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It is right.

25. Not bad at all.

Thank you.

Well played, Olly, a number one single from 1980.

It's almost impossible to play this round

and not have songs going round your head.

I remember, the week that The Winner Takes It All was number one in

the charts, I remember we were listening to the charts in our car

coming back from holiday, and in the Top Ten that week, there was

Bob Marley, er... There was just...

Oops Upside Your Head, Diana Ross, just the most fantastic Top Ten,

and I remember my dad saying, "Oh, it all sounds the same!"

LAUGHTER

Oh, dear. Anyway, there we are. We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at the scores as they stand.

11 was the lowest score of that pass. Very well done, Simon.

Simon and Kim looking pretty strong on the back of that,

then up to 21 where we find Lee and Tommy.

Up to 25, where we find Olly and Jilly, then up to 100,

Diarmuid and Rachel, where I'm afraid we find you.

But what we definitely need from you, Rachel, is a low score.

You've got time to think. Back down the line now. Second players, please step up to the podium.

OK, Jilly. Welcome, welcome to the show. It's not just wine any more.

You write about all sorts of things. You're an expert on many things.

I began with wine, actually, and I was sort of catapulted

into wine prominence, but I also did antiques. I did travel and food.

Food, fantastic.

I've more recently been doing food, actually, but I still...

My toe is more than steeped in wine, actually.

Good thing to steep it in, really. Jilly, you're on 25.

If you can score 74 or less, you will be through to the next round.

So, an ABBA song.

Can I just say something? That's very interesting,

-cos I don't have to go for anything very obscure, do I?

-Not really, no.

-I can go for what I like.

-As long as it's by ABBA, yeah.

JILLY LAUGHS

Well, I'm going to go for one. It might not be Top 20. SOS.

SOS, says Jilly. SOS. Here comes your red line.

If you get below that, you are through to the next round.

Let's see if SOS is right. Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It is right.

And you are through to round two. Very well done.

Look at that, 14. Very well done indeed.

Takes your total up to 39.

I think that's only Top Ten single of all time

-where both the song and the band are palindromes.

-Ah!

-Yeah.

Oh, I'm not going to concentrate for the rest of the round now.

-Don't bother. I'm telling you, it's official.

-Is it?

-Yeah.

I don't think there are any competitors out there,

cos I don't think there are even any bands that have a palindrome.

-A-ha is a palindrome.

-Oh!

-A-ha.

-Did they release a song that was a palindrome, though?

-A-ha...

Well, Bob. But that was a B-side.

LAUGHTER

AC/DC CA?

LAUGHTER

Anyway, thank you very much indeed. SOS by ABBA.

Wonderful palindromic answer. Brilliant, Jilly.

Now, Kim, we come to you. I want to ask you one thing, Kim.

Obviously you're very famous for "How Clean Is Your House?"

and many, many other things, of course, but my question to you is,

how clean is your house?

I can honestly say this to you - I live as you see me on telly.

-I'm fanatically clean.

-Do you have a cleaner?

-No, I do not.

-I am glad for her sake.

-They could never clean as well as I do.

So I do, I am what I am on telly.

-Sad, isn't it?

-It's not!

I think it's commendable, is what it is, Kim.

Anyway, what we need from you is a score of 88 or less.

-Money, Money, Money?

-Money, Money, Money says Kim.

Here comes your red line.

You get below that, you're through to the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Money, Money, Money.

-It's right, of course, and you are through to the next round.

-(Yes!)

34.

APPLAUSE

34 takes your total up to 45.

Number three hit from 1976.

-You're going to see what round two is like. How about that?

-Mm.

-Blimey.

-We're doing all right, aren't we?

-Very exciting indeed.

Tommy, welcome to the show, it's great to have you here.

Thank you very much.

One of your many jobs is, you actually run a building company.

I don't have much time to do it, really.

It's, er... Preoccupied with lots of other stuff.

Things like this, I should imagine, probably don't help.

I don't think it's going to be too long

-because Kim actually just gave my answer.

-Oh, really?

-Yeah.

Oh, listen, there's a ray of hope for Diarmuid and Rachel there.

Obviously, Money, Money, Money was going to be the answer - he's a builder!

So, Tommy, just any other ABBA song.

That's all we need from you.

-Waterloo?

-There you go, another builder's answer, there.

Or is this MY Waterloo?

OK, there we are. Waterloo, says Tommy.

There is your red line.

That represents the 78 or less you need to score to get through.

Let's see if Waterloo's right and, if it is, how many people said it.

It's right. Oh!

-Hey, look at this, Rachel. Look what's happened.

-I-I'm looking!

Tommy, you've scored 86.

107 is your total. Oh, this is exciting.

Such a big scorer, isn't it?

What's going to happen now?

This is what I'm thinking about.

I'll tell you what - I'll change the question.

I think it's best we change the question.

Rachel. Ah, Rachel.

Now, you studied History of Art.

You then learned ballet.

Yes. Other way round but yes.

You learned ballet, you studied History of Art, run with it.

Then you were a model, an actress, and then into gardening.

-Why gardening?

-Well, I had always loved plants.

My father was an incredibly keen and natural gardener,

so I grew up mostly

being in the garden, going with him to nurseries,

just doing things in the garden.

That's how it all came from there.

Excellent. Now, then. You have a task here.

You have to score six or less.

So we want any ABBA UK Top 20 single.

-I can't think of anything obscure.

-Oh, take a deep breath!

I can only think of one more song, actually,

and bearing in mind my dancing background, it's Dancing Queen.

OK, a little-known song. Dancing Queen.

Here comes your red line, Rachel. It's quite low.

Let's see if Dancing Queen can get you

below that red line, Rachel. Best of luck.

It's right.

Oh, bad luck. 64, Rachel, I'm sorry. Takes your total up to 164.

Unlucky, Rachel. Not a lot you could have done there.

It's literally the only other one I could think of.

Diarmuid, if you had your time again,

-have you got any other obscure answers?

-Er, Fernando? Is that...?

Fernando would have scored you 46.

Could we run it again?

Well, you'd still be on 110, so we can if you want.

We'd still be out.

The amazing thing is, ABBA, from a long time ago,

there are no pointless answers amongst their Top 20 singles.

That's how famous ABBA are. There's a few low scorers, though.

Let's take a look at the lowest scorers. Well done if you said any of these.

Summer Night City would have scored you one point.

Lay All Your Love On Me would have scored you four.

Angeleyes would have scored you four.

Another couple of things that would have seen you through,

you could have said One of Us or I Have A Dream.

Both of those would have scored five.

You would have got six points for The Name Of The Game

and seven points for Does Your Mother Know. Voulez-Vous, nine points.

Well done if you said that. Super Trouper, 15.

Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight) would have scored 16.

Let's take a look at the top three.

There's only one of these we haven't seen,

cos Mamma Mia is third with 52, and then we've seen these top two.

There's Dancing Queen on 64,

and Tommy gave us Waterloo with 86.

Thanks very much, Richard. At the end of our first round,

I'm sorry to say the pair who are going to be heading home

with our highest score of 164, it's Rachel and Diarmuid.

But that was a really good effort,

and you did exactly what we encourage you to do on Pointless,

which is find a really obscure answer.

So obscure, it was just on the far side of correct.

-They'll have to come back, though.

-Oh, they'll have to come back.

-Definitely.

-Another time.

Come back and tell us all about the White House garden.

Lovely to have you on the show.

Thank you so much, Rachel and Diarmuid. Lovely contestants.

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

Oh, it's getting exciting.

Now only three pairs remain, and at the end of this round,

we'll be sending another pair away.

Now then, best individual score there, Simon, was yours, Chiquitita.

Lovely low score. Best combined score, Jilly and Olly.

Very good.

And, er, Lee and Tommy, despite Waterloo,

Lee, great answering from you, kept you safe. So very well done.

I think this is going to be very close indeed.

I wouldn't want to call it. Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two is...

Modern Languages. Can you decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Oh, brilliant!

Fruits and Vegetables in German. Richard.

On each pass, we're going to give you the German names for various

fruits and veg. You just need to give us the English names, please.

There's going to be six on each pass.

-Diarmuid and Rachel would've loved this, wouldn't they?

-Wouldn't they?

Gardeners? They would have loved it.

-It's going to be fun.

-It's going to be great fun, especially for me.

-Cos you get to do all the...

-I get to read them out in German.

All the pronunciations, yeah. Oh, watch and learn. Watch and learn.

OK, so we want the English names for these fruit and veg in German.

And here is our first board.

I'll read them one last time.

-That's very good.

-I don't know what they are, but it's fun.

There we go, OK, six fruit and veg in German. Oh, Tommy!

-What do you make of that?

-That's very difficult.

Cos obviously if you pick the most logical one,

that's going to be the one with the most points to it.

So...

But, if you pick the most logical one, of course,

you are then removing one of the easier ones

for other people to answer, which is tactics.

OK, OK.

Well, I'm going to go for Artischocke,

-which is, I think, artichoke.

-OK, let's find out.

Artischocke, is it artichoke, and if it is, how many people said it?

It's right.

-Ah!

-Listen, it's right - that's a lot better than 100. 89.

APPLAUSE

-Would have been funny if that wasn't artichoke.

-Yeah, wouldn't it?

Lots of different types of artichoke, they're all separate vegetables.

-There's a root, Jerusalem one.

-Yeah, Jerusalem artichoke.

-Which is just a root thing, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-Tastes terrible, yeah.

And also makes you fart.

We call them "fartichokes" at home.

LAUGHTER

-D'you know what?

-Yeah.

-That's so childish.

Why don't you apologise?

-There's children watching.

-When... Sorry.

Right, do not call artichokes "fartichokes". It's not funny.

Say, "Fartichoke isn't funny."

It's not funny.

Fartichoke's not funny.

LAUGHTER

-In Germany they would say "Fartischocke."

-Yeah.

That's not funny either.

OK, now then, Simon.

We want the English names for these German fruit and veg.

I think I'm going to take a gamble.

I don't speak any German at all.

I'm going to go Blumenkohl, Cauliflower.

-Oh, that's brilliant.

-Good call.

-That's a good...

"Blumen" - flower, presumably.

And "kohl" - cauli! See?

It's very easy.

Simon says Blumenkohl, cauliflower.

Bit of a gamble, let's see if it's paid off.

Absolutely right. Well done, Simon.

11!

-APPLAUSE

-That's what I was going to say.

That is a great answer.

Very well done, Simon. Very well worked out. Cracking reasoning.

Well played, Simon, terrific answer again.

Got 11 again. You got 11 in the last round.

Very well done.

Now, Olly. Olly, you're the last person to have this board.

How's your German?

It's, er, reasonable.

I did a GCSE in German a long time ago,

and my uncle and aunt are Swiss-German.

However, I should just say there is a German vacuum from

a zeppelin above that has sucked all the German words from my brain.

Er, when you're here under the lights it's very different to

when Mr Macdonald's barking at you in the GCSE German class.

I'm going to play - I think Kirsche is cherry.

Kirsche, cherry, says Olly.

How many of our 100 people said Kirsche was cherry?

It is right.

89 is our high score, 11 is our low.

43 for Kirsche - nice middling score there, Olly.

Well played. 43.

Well played, Olly, of course, Kirsch being a cherry spirit.

Now, the rest of these. Apfel - that's fairly easy.

-I can do that one, apple.

-Yeah, that is apple.

That would have scored you 87 points.

Erdbeere, d'you know that?

That's strawberry. And that would have scored you nine points.

And Pastinake?

-Parsnip.

-That was a parsnip?

Yeah, that would have scored you seven points

so it's the best answer up there. Well done if you said that.

Well, thank you very much indeed. We're halfway through the round,

let's look at those scores.

11 the best score of that pass, Simon, richly deserved.

Then up to 43 where we find Olly and Jilly.

Then up to 89 where we find Tommy and Lee.

So, yeah, Lee, we're going to need a low score from you.

-Maybe the next board will be a bit easier.

-Hope so.

-How's your German?

-Terrible.

-OK. Very best of luck.

We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK, let's put six more German fruit and veg up on our board.

And here they are. We have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

Now, remember, we are looking for the English names, Jilly,

for these German fruit and veg.

Jilly, I think you're going to be brilliant at this.

I think you secretly know all of those.

I'm monolingual, Alexander, I'm afraid. It is very unfortunate,

but German has passed me by totally.

Well, just to put you in the context of everything,

if you can score 45 or less,

you are definitely through to the head-to-head.

It's a lot of pressure because I only know one.

And I think it's the one that everybody else will know.

I'm kind of hovering on one of them, which is difficult,

and I could blow it, and I don't want to blow it for Olly,

so I'm going to go for tomato as Tomate.

Tomate, tomato, says Jilly.

OK, here's your red line. It's nice and middling.

I'm not going to go below it.

Let's see, though, how close to it you can get with tomato for Tomate.

-It's right, whee!

-Oh, no!

96. 96, takes your total up to 139.

I think that's not bad - I think that may get you through.

Well, we always say it's a lot better than 100.

-It's a BIT better than 100, isn't it?

-Thank you, Richard.

Now, Kim. Kim, I have

-great news for you.

-What?

-You know how you came

flying through into the second round?

-Yes.

-You are flying through to the third round.

You are in the head-to-head even before you've given your answer.

-I just know that.

-Oh, gosh, thank you.

Even if you score 100 points

you won't overtake Jilly and Olly on 139.

I think I know two of these but I can't...

I'm just going to go for... I think I know two

but I'm going to give you one.

-Ananas is banana, I think.

-Ananas...

-I think it's a banana.

-Banana.

I could be wrong, but I think it is.

OK, banana. Let's see if that's right.

No red line for you as you're already through,

so it doesn't matter if it's wrong.

Let's find out if it's right.

Oh, bad luck, Kim. Bad luck.

I'm afraid an incorrect answer there -

scores you the maximum of 100 points. Takes your total up to 111.

But you are through to the next round.

Sorry, Kim, worth a go there.

The German for banana is actually "Banane".

And I thought it would be too obvious if I put it up there.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Lee. This is where it gets interesting.

Let me just put it all into context.

You have to score 49 or less to stay with us.

49 or less, but if you like...

Don't know no German!

Yeah.

Oh, dear. Fenchel, what could Fenchel be?

No, Fen-kyull?

-Fen-chel?

-I don't know.

You can talk us through the board, if you like,

and just chew these fruit and veg over.

Moh-ree? Mo-huree?

Kartoffel?

-LEE LAUGHS

-Kartoffel?

Kartoffel. Kartoffel.

Erbse.

I'm just going to have to take a guess, ain't I?

I'm going to go Fenchel, chilli.

Fenchel, chilli.

-Might be fennel.

-Fenchel, chilli.

-Fennel.

Is that what Fenchel is? There's your red line.

Get below that, you're in the next round.

No, bad luck, Lee.

I'm really sorry, that's an incorrect answer,

scores you the maximum of 100 points. Takes your total up to 189.

Sorry, Lee, I can see where you're going with the "chel" at the end.

Actually "chilli pepper" in German is "Chilipfeffer".

So again, I didn't bother. Fennel is the answer, Fenchel. It would

have scored 49 points as well, would have seen you through by one point.

-Oh.

-Never mind.

-Now, let's go through the rest of these.

Ananas is actually pineapple.

Ananas, it would have scored you 33.

Mohre is carrot.

That would have scored you 4.

-No clue there at all.

-Is Erbse peas?

Erbse is pea - again, absolutely no clue. 5 points.

And Kartoffel, do you know kartoffel?

-Potato.

-Potato. It is potato. Well done, Olly, yes.

Potato, 23 points.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Well, at the end of that round, I'm really sorry, Tommy and Lee.

It's been lovely having you on the show, though. Come back and play again.

But meantime thanks very much for playing this time.

Lee and Tommy, brilliant.

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Congratulations, Simon and Kim, Jilly and Olly,

you are now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot which currently stands at £2,500.

APPLAUSE

Now, we have to decide who's going to play for that money

and to do that you're now going to go head-to-head

but the big difference is you're now allowed to confer.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Now, Simon, Blumenkohl -

-a highlight, a high point of today's show.

-Thank you.

Many congratulations. Jilly, you gave us Tomate, didn't you?

I'm afraid I did, I'm a bit ashamed of that.

-Yeah, but I think I heard you saying that Ananas was pineapple.

-I know.

-I think you knew that one.

-I did know it.

And you were just a little bit scared of it.

I just... Well, because, you know,

I didn't want to let Olly down and I thought, "If I really say something that's wrong..."

I knew it was pineapple and I'm afraid when Kim said "banana"

I thought, "No, it's not, it's not, it's pineapple."

Well, the good thing is from now on you don't give

-an answer before you've had a good chat.

-Yes, a chat.

-It will just reassure you.

-We like chats.

This is going to be a very exciting third round.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

OK, here comes your first question and it concerns...

Performances at the Tony Awards. Richard.

Yeah, we're going to show you five stills now from musicals that

have been nominated for Tony Awards since the year 2000.

Can you identify the musicals from these stills, please?

Very best of luck.

OK, let's reveal our five Tony Award appearances and here they are.

We have got...

There we are, five musicals.

Simon and Kim, obviously you played best throughout the show

so far so you get to go first.

-I don't know the D and I don't know...

-No.

That is definitely Poppins. Do you know the guy at the top?

It's Spamalot. Yeah, definitely. OK.

Well, we're going to go for answer A and we think it's Spamalot.

-A, Spamalot.

-Yeah.

-Now then, Jilly and Olly.

I think B is Mary Poppins.

C, I'm not entirely sure

of the name of it but it looks Muppetty.

D could be Rock Of Ages but it's not clear and E, Shrek.

Shrek is obvious, yes. Don't go for E.

-No, I'm confident about B being Mary Poppins.

-Are you really? OK.

You've got your glasses on.

-Yeah, because you've got the "Chim Chimney", what's his name?

-OK, yeah.

"Chim Chimney" and the two girls, chimney sweep,

and Mary Poppins in the red and the lovely dress.

Favourite film of my two daughters, can't possibly fail.

-Probably will now fail.

-JILLY LAUGHS

-Shall we go B?

-Go for it. Go for it.

-B, Mary Poppins.

OK, you're going to go with Mary Poppins,

so we have Simon and Kim saying Spamalot. Let's see

if that's right and, if it is, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

That's a good answer, very well done. 11 for Spamalot.

APPLAUSE

Very well done. Jilly and Olly have gone for Mary Poppins.

B, Mary Poppins. Let's see if that's right

and, if it is, let's see how many people said Mary Poppins.

It's right.

-Ooh, 89.

-Oh, Olly.

-Yes, I'm so sorry.

Well, if you didn't know the obscurer ones

I imagine Spamalot was going to be hard to beat. But Simon and Kim,

very well done. After one question you are up 1-0.

Very well played.

There's a couple of answers there that would have beaten Spamalot.

C would have beaten Spamalot. I know people are going to know this.

-It's Avenue Q.

-Avenue Q, yes, is the answer there.

It would have scored you 10 points.

Now, the winner of the best musical in the Tonys in 2012 was this.

Based on the Irish film, it's Once.

Coming over to the West End as well. A pointless answer

so very well done if you said that.

And now E is obviously Shrek The Musical

and that would have scored you 96.

-You did better.

-OK.

There are essentially four people at home sitting at home going,

"First Tomate, now this! This is impossible!"

LAUGHTER

Thanks very much indeed. OK, so here comes your second question.

Jilly and Olly, you will get to answer this first

but you have to win it to stay in the game.

Good luck. It concerns...

-Oh, Gawd!

-Pop Art. Richard.

We're going to give you five clues to facts about the pop art movement.

Can you give us the most obscure answer? Good luck.

OK, let's reveal our five clues and here they are. We have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Jilly and Olly, you will go first.

THEY WHISPER

I don't know any of the others.

(David Hockney was born in Bradford or somewhere like that but that's quite obvious.)

THEY WHISPER

Don't know.

Can we do some more ABBA ones?

OK, Jilly and Olly, what are you going to go for?

JILLY WHISPERS

The only one we're confident of is the type of fruit on the cover

of the Velvet Underground & Nico album.

We very much wish we were confident on all of them,

but I think we're going to go with that one, which may be very widely known.

what is it?

-Banana.

-Oh, Ananas, yes!

No, that's pineapple. Ananas is pineapple!

OK. And Simon and Kim, what are you going to go for?

OK, well, I have no idea on the first one.

Talk us through them.

I don't know at all. The second one is obviously Sgt Pepper's.

The third one down are the Chim Chimneys.

No, I've no idea of that one at all.

I agree with Olly on the fourth one

and I'm going to go with the fifth answer,

the city where David Hockney was born, which is Bradford.

Bradford? OK, so we have banana and we have Bradford.

Jilly and Olly, you have gone for banana.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said banana.

It is right.

You want to be sure this scores low so you stay with us.

24. OK, 24. Are you happy with 24?

Moderately... Moderately happy.

Now then, Simon and Kim have said Bradford, the city where David Hockney was born.

I think you knew this one, didn't you, Jilly?

I did know this one - this was my only one. My only contribution.

But you felt this was a high scorer?

Yes, I did.

OK, well, let's put it to the test.

You've gone banana, they've gone Bradford. Let's see if it's right.

Let's see how many people said Bradford.

It's right.

It wins! Bradford wins. 10 for Bradford.

Oh, very well done, Simon and Kim.

Last time you were on the show, out first round.

This time, you are through to the final, 2-0. Very well done indeed.

Practice makes perfect!

Unlucky, Jilly and Olly.

I know you knew Bradford, it would have been a great answer. You just went for the wrong one.

The critic credited with coining the term is a tough one.

Very well done if you said Lawrence Alloway.

Would have scored you one point.

The Beatles album is Sgt Pepper's.

Peter Blake got paid £200 for it.

Would have scored 38 points.

The English collective widely credited with fathering pop art,

that included Richard Hamilton and Eduardo Paolozzi,

was the Independent Group.

That was a pointless answer so very well done if you said that.

I'm impressed with our 100 people.

They're not good on tomato but on Lawrence Alloway, that was...

I'm guessing the person who got Lawrence Alloway got tomato as well.

If that was one of the four people that didn't get tomato, then something is up.

Thanks very much indeed.

OK, so the pair leaving us at the end of our head-to-head round

is Jilly and Olly. You had the chops to win this.

It's just, er, you picked the wrong one.

-We did.

-You knew a low-scoring answer.

-We did. We'd love to come back, though, if you'll have us.

-Will you please come back? It's been lovely having you.

-We'll bring the wine!

-Fantastic!

You can come back as often as you like!

And maybe even be on the show again!

Jilly and Olly, it's been lovely having you on,

thank you so much for playing, wonderful contestants.

But for Simon and Kim, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Huge congratulations to you, Simon and Kim.

You've given all your competition the marching orders

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

Very well done indeed.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today, the jackpot stands at £2,500.

You have done so well. What happened last time?

You've gone away and you've learned, I think - that's what it is.

Defeat makes us stronger, Alexander. You know that.

We've gone away, we've come back, having been battle weary

but we've risen above the challenge.

You're like one of those X Factor contestants that comes back

and everyone goes, "Hang on, we've seen you before!"

Did I not mention that I'm doing this for my nan?

Yeah, no, yeah, you did, yeah.

An incredible journey, Alexander, an incredible journey.

You've given it 120%.

You've made it your own, Kim.

I'll tell you what's interesting.

Three brilliant answers from you today.

Chiquitita, Blumenkohl and Spamalot all scored 11.

That's spooky, isn't it? What would you like to come up in this last round?

Gosh, anything we could answer.

I think I've been quite lucky with what we've had so far,

so I think may luck my well run out now.

-I'll tell you what I would hate to come up.

-Go on.

I'd hate anything horticultural.

Growing fruit and veg, I can get that as a chef.

Anything that is to do with flowers, fauna, flora - useless,

absolutely terrible.

OK, well, best of luck.

As always, you start this round off by choosing a category

and you have four choices to choose from. They are...

What do you fancy? I fancy rock and punk, if I'm honest.

I fancy 1990s Britain but are you very good on that?

I'm happy to do 1990s Britain if you feel confident in that.

It's better that we both have confidence.

Do you know a lot about Rock & Punk?

I reckon it's my strongest out of those four, I would hazard.

-You would say Rock & Punk?

-Yeah.

-Well, do it.

-Sure?

Yes, because you're much brighter than me.

This gentleman is a lot brighter than me and if he says to me,

"I know that topic very well," and he has tackled what he didn't know very well and we got this far,

-I'm going to go with Rock & Punk.

-OK.

Rock & Punk it's going to be. Richard?

We'll to give you three options within this category. Take your answers from any of these.

Very, very best of luck. I hope one of them suits you. We're looking for...

Best of luck at home and best of luck in the studio.

I hope it's a good category for you.

OK, now, as always, you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers

and to win that jackpot for your chosen charities.

All you have to do is find one pointless answer amongst those three answers you give.

The answers you give can be from any of these categories.

It can be all three from one category, one from each - it's entirely up to you.

Just say which category it's from when you give your answer.

-OK, are you ready?

-Yes.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

Have you any thoughts at this point?

What about...

I know nothing about Blink 182.

I don't and I'm not...

I can think of a couple of Sex Pistols songs that may be...

They did a cover version of Eddie Cochran's C'mon Everybody,

which I think might be fairly low.

And then...they did My Way

but I think that might have been Sid Vicious on his own,

rather than Sex Pistols.

Green Day, the only thing I know by them as an album is American Idiot,

which I can't imagine would be a zero.

I know very little about them, I'll be honest with you.

-This is where my luck has run out.

-Oh, my love, come on.

I'm gambling all on C'mon Everybody by The Sex Pistols.

-I can't think of anything, other than...

-Ten seconds left.

..God Save The Queen.

Anarchy In The UK. Maybe we should go with three Sex Pistols songs

and have a little punt on that.

OK, that's your time up.

Simon, the spotlight is going to fall on you now.

I now need your three answers. What are you going to say?

We're going to go from Sex Pistols UK top 75 singles.

-I'm going to go for C'mon Everybody.

-C'mon Everybody.

I'm going to go for, er, Anarchy In The UK.

-Anarchy In The UK.

-And I'm going to take a chance on My Way,

-but I think that was Sid Vicious on his own.

-My Way.

-Of those three, which is your best shot at a Pointless answer?

-C'mon Everybody.

-We'll put it last.

Which is your least likely to be Pointless?

Er...let's go Anarchy In The UK.

My Way we'll pop in the middle.

Let's put those up on the board in that order and here they are. We have got...

Very, very best of luck. Your first answer was Anarchy In The UK.

If this is right and it is pointless,

it will win that £2,500 jackpot for your charities.

What are your charities? Simon?

It's the Wirral Toy Library, which is a really lovely charity that gives respite care

to physically and mentally handicapped kids on the Wirral.

APPLAUSE

Mine is Hospice in the Weald, near Tunbridge Wells.

I've done a lot of work for them and I got recently to visit a lady.

She was passing and she said, "Can I see Kim?"

I went in and she said, "D'you know, Kim, this is a fabulous place.

"I've had a wonderful six weeks here." To me, Hospice in the Weald every time.

Excellent. Very well done. Two great charities there.

Three very good answers on the board.

Let's hope one of them wins that jackpot for your charities.

Best of luck. Anarchy In The UK for £2,500.

Let's find out if it was a Sex Pistols UK Top 75 hit.

It was.

Now, all it has to do is go all the way down to zero

and you will leave with that cheque for £2,500.

Going down through the teens.

Oh, 12.

But Simon, you knew what you were doing when you ordered these.

-You ranked these very, very carefully.

-Yeah.

-You knew that wasn't going to be pointless.

-No.

There are some good answers on the board, though.

-I think this one might be a wrong answer.

-Well, it was in the Great Rock 'n' Roll Swindle, wasn't it?

I can't remember whether it was listed under a Sid Vicious solo single

or whether it actually came as a Sex Pistols single.

In my head, it was a solo, but hopefully I'm wrong.

OK, hopefully you are. For £2,500, is My Way a Sex Pistols Top 75 hit?

It is! Very well done.

Your first answer was Anarchy In The UK, it took us down to 12.

Your second answer, My Way, taking us down through the teens

into single figures, there we go. Down it goes.

Still going and you've done it! Very well done indeed!

-That is superb, come here, very well done. That's brilliant!

-He did know about it, didn't he?

-He did.

-So wonderful!

-Fantastic.

APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH

Oh, Simon! Kim!

He knew about his rock and his punk, which I don't.

Congratulations!

My Way was a pointless answer, which means you go away

with our jackpot of £2,500 for your charities.

Brilliant, well done you.

-Thank you.

-What about that, Richard?

-Absolutely amazing, well done.

We had four lovely pairs today. It's been such a lovely show.

Two great deserving causes, I'm so glad you won.

C'mon Everybody, also a pointless answer!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Not bad going, was it?

Both from the soundtrack of The Great Rock 'n' Roll Swindle.

Let's take a look at the pointless answers for all the categories in case you did a different one at home.

(I'm Not Your) Stepping Stone. The Sex Pistols did a cover of that.

No One Is Innocent was the double A-side with My Way.

Silly Thing and C'mon Everybody. Great Rock 'n' Roll Swindle would also have been a Pointless answer.

Very well done if you said any of those.

Their first hit - big hit - What's My Age Again?

That was pointless, so very well done if you said that.

For Green Day albums, 21st Century Breakdown was a pointless answer.

Their very first album, 39 Smooth, and Nimrod as well.

Very, very well done if you got any of those at home.

-Terrific work, so glad you came back!

-Thank you so, so much.

Thanks again to our winning players, Simon and Kim,

who go away with today's jackpot of £2,500 for their charities.

-Very well done indeed.

-Thank you very much.

Join us next time when we'll put more obscure knowledge to the test.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

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