Mixed Bag 1 Pointless Celebrities

APPLAUSE

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to this special edition of Pointless Celebrities.

This is the show where all the questions have been asked to 100 people before the show

and all our contestants have to do is come up with answers those 100 people couldn't think of.

Let's meet today's Pointless celebrities.

APPLAUSE

And couple number one.

OK, I'm Akabusi, Olympian, World, European, Commonwealth champion,

all-round good guy and I'm with him.

I'm Roger Black and I used to run with him.

I also won medals at the Worlds, Olympics, Commonwealths and Europeans. So we're a team.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

And couple number two.

I'm Penny Smith. I'm a journalist, broadcaster

and I co-host The Breakfast Show on BBC London with Paul Ross.

And I'm Vanessa Feltz and I present the show on Radio 2

before Penny Smith and the show on BBC London after Penny Smith.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Couple number three.

I'm Carol McGiffin.

I am a columnist for the Sunday People and a retired Loose Woman.

-Well, I don't know about retired!

-LAUGHTER

I'm Louie Spence. I'm a dancer, choreographer, homosexual.

APPLAUSE

No(!)

And finally, couple number four.

Yes, I'm Keith Chegwin, a broadcaster.

A very short broadcaster. I only do little bits, little sound bites.

I used to swap, then I played pop and now I just go "Wahey!"

-And made a living out of it!

-Yeah.

-My name's Andrew Castle.

I used to hit little yellow tennis balls over a net for a living

and after that I was on the GMTV sofa for ten years.

Now I commentate at Wimbledon with the best seat in the house

and I'm delighted that Andy Murray did something

I never thought would happen in my lifetime -

a British Wimbledon champion -

and I'm a breakfast presenter on Smooth Radio.

APPLAUSE

These are today's contestants.

Well, thanks very much, all of you. We'll find out more about each of you throughout the show

as it goes along. That just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

He's got his finger on the pulse of fact

and is praying it pulls through.

It's my Pointless friend. It's Richard.

Hiya. Hi, everybody. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Good evening.

-And good evening to you.

Well, that is quite a line-up, isn't it?

You've got Cheggers, Louie Spence, Penny Smith.

It comes to something when your best chance of a bit of peace and quiet is Kriss Akabusi.

We've got quite a few returners - quite a few people have been

on the show before but with different outcomes.

-Carol's been on before - knocked out in the first round.

-That's right. Sherrie's fault, Sherrie Hewson.

Sherrie Hewson's fault. You've traded up, I see.

Andrew Castle's been on. Andrew got to Round Two, which is slightly better.

But on podium two, we've got two people, both of whom

have won the show before - both got to the jackpot round.

-Penny Smith has even won a jackpot. How about that?

-Wow!

So if they don't win today, something's up.

I was looking at Round One. Round One is not going to suit everybody - I'm going to be honest.

Some people will love it. Some people won't like it one bit.

Well, thanks very much indeed. Now, all our questions on Pointless

have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants here must find the obscure answers those 100 people didn't get.

Everyone's trying to find a pointless answer -

that being an answer that none of our 100 people gave -

and each time that happens, we will add 250 quid to the jackpot.

As today's show is a celebrity special

and all of our wonderful celebrities are playing for a nominated charity,

we start off with a jackpot of £2,500.

Right. If everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

Now, the only thing you have to remember is that the pair

with the highest score at the end of each round will be eliminated.

So, Louie, you have to do everything you can to make sure you're not in that pair.

I can only count to eight. Five, six, seven, eight.

Oh, no!

-OK, best...

-LAUGHTER

Our first category today is...

Oh, no!

KRISS: Come on! KEITH: That's two of us. No!

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

-Carol Ann, you're butcher than me.

-Yeah, I am.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. Now...

-No!

-You go first.

-You go first!

-Me?!

-Yes.

I only fancy them - I don't know their names.

Let's find out what the question is. Here it comes. We gave

100 people 100 seconds to name as many

2013/14 Champions League teams as they could.

Champions League teams from the 2013/14 season.

Yep, we're looking for any of the 32 teams who

qualified for the group stages of the 2013/14 Champions League, please.

-So any of those 32 teams. Very best of luck.

-Thank you very much indeed.

Now, Kriss and Roger deep in thought. Kriss, welcome.

-Lovely to have you.

-It's great to be here.

Now, listen, you were in the Army, weren't you,

before you hit the world of athletics?

-Yes, sir.

-Which would you say was the hardest training?

-Track and field athletics without a doubt, yeah.

-Surely.

You still hold a record from 1992 -

a British record for the 400 metre hurdles.

I've held the record, yeah, like you said, since 1992.

So it's twenty...two years old.

-Thank you very much.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Maths is not my strong point.

Can I say, though, generally, most people haven't had a go.

-Oh, that's very, very true.

-What, most people?

-Have you ever done 400 metre hurdles?

-No, you're right, I haven't.

-Neither have I.

-It's the event for people that are no good at the 400 metres.

-Ooh!

Emasculation number one. I've only just started!

-Kriss, so, we are going to...

-You got one?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah!

-We're looking for a team in the UEFA Champions League draw.

-OK.

I mean, everyone's going to get it, but Arsenal?

Arsenal, says Kriss. Let's see if Arsenal's right and let's see how many of our 100 people said Arsenal.

It's right.

-APPLAUSE

-Happy with that.

-57.

-It's a start.

-It's a lot better than 100, Kriss.

-It's a start.

Good start to the show.

It's a big score but we might see some 100s in this round

so it might not be too bad.

-Got knocked out in the second round, Arsenal.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

Vanessa, welcome back.

-Now, Vanessa, you've had lots of different careers, haven't you?

-Yes.

-You did stand-up for a little bit.

-Oh, yes.

-How was that?

-Why did you give that up?

-Because it was so hard and terrifying.

I thought, "I'll be on the telly - much nicer."

-You do your phone-in show.

-Yes.

-Do you find when you do that,

you have to have a strong opinion on everything?

-No! I have to be a neutral conduit.

-Very good.

Well, all right, Vanessa, let's get this football thing

-over and done with.

-OK.

-You'll be through - I'm sure of it.

-Manchester City.

-Manchester City, says Vanessa. Roger's nodding.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Manchester City.

It's right. 57's our high score.

You've passed that. 48.

-Well done!

-Amazing. That's amazing!

-All going in the right direction, Vanessa.

-Wow!

-Well done!

-Blimey!

Yep, their third appearance in the Champions League.

You get the impression we're going to run out of English teams fairly soon, don't you?

Hmm. Thank you, Richard.

-Louie, welcome. Lovely to have you here.

-Thank you very much.

Your first appearance on Pointless.

What are you up to at the moment, Louie?

Well, I'm upcycling at the moment.

-Good.

-Yeah, I'm upcycling furniture.

I've got a new house so at the moment, I'm upcycling.

If you meant in, like, show business,

I'm just doing a bit of this, a bit of that -

whatever's going to make the cash, you know.

Fair enough.

Louie, I mean, it's football - what could be better than that?

Well, ballet? But, actually, you gave me a clue.

I know I can't ask questions but I was going to say,

"Can they be international teams?"

He said we're going to run out of British teams so, obviously,

it can be. Am I right?

-I'm not going to say a word, Louie.

-Oh, no!

Right. I've got one of two.

Should I go for the British or the Italian?

I normally go for the Italian, but...

I'm going to go for an English one, which I really don't have

a clue, so I'm going to say - and they most probably won't be...

-..Sunderland?

-GASPS

No, I was trying to be pointless. Thanks for that, boys. I've got it.

I was going to say Juventus. That would have been better, wouldn't it?

Louie is going to go for Sunderland. Let's see...

Well, I don't know, darling. Don't they wear black and white?

Let's see if that's right and let's see how many people said Sunderland.

Oh, it's not going anywhere.

-Oh, Louie! I'm sorry.

-Oh, Carol Ann, I'm sorry.

-Don't worry. I don't know anything either.

-I'm sorry, Louie.

That's an incorrect answer, scores you 100 points.

-No surprises there!

-Sorry, Louie. The good news is,

you've just made the whole of Newcastle laugh their heads off!

And it probably won't be the last 100, I suspect, of the round, so don't panic too much.

Thanks, Richard. Keith, welcome.

-Oh, thank you.

-Lovely to have you.

Now, Keith, you started off very young indeed, didn't you?

-You were in film.

-Yeah, I mean, I actually started off at the end of the pier...

-Did you really?

-..doing a talent competition in Rhyl.

I sang a song, won the talent competition,

got spotted by an agent, went on a TV show,

came down to London, did Mame with Ginger Rogers

and loads of films and telly and stuff.

Yeah, you were in Roman Polanski's Macbeth.

Yes, played the part of Fleance.

Actually, if they'd had a sequel, I'd have been the main role.

But I had a choice of either to carry on my acting career,

doing a film with David Niven,

or accepting a Saturday morning show on BBC television.

And I said to my agent, "Which one pays first?" He said, "The BBC."

-So I took the job at the BBC.

-Well, you've never looked back.

-Oh, no, I've always looked back.

-LAUGHTER

Now then, Keith, what are you going to go for?

It's a real tough one, actually.

We've had one Manchester,

so I'm going to go for the other one - Manchester United.

OK, Manchester United, says Keith.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it.

Oh, please be there.

-It is right.

-It IS there! Yes!

Oh, 76.

It's not bad, Keith. It's a lot better than 100.

-It's right.

-It's right, I know.

Well done, Keith, in the context of the game so far.

Yeah, they didn't lose a game, actually,

in that group stage, under the mighty David Moyes.

Thank you. We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at the scores as they stand.

-48, Vanessa.

-Yeah!

You see - the best score of the round so far.

-It's an absolute fluke! Total fluke.

-The best so far - very well done -

putting you and Penny at the top of the table

and up to 57, where we find Kriss and Roger.

Up to 76, Keith and Andrew, then up to 100,

Louie and Carol. As Richard said, I'm sure that

won't be the last 100 of the round

so, Carol, a nice low score from you might keep you in the game.

It might, but it probably won't.

We'll see. Best of luck. We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, so, Andrew, remember, we're looking for any team

that drew for the group stage in the 2013/14 UEFA Champions League.

Andrew, welcome. Welcome back. You've been on before. Round Two.

-Yeah, that's right. We went out...

-That's OK.

-Yeah, it's OK, isn't it?

-That's like bronze.

-Yeah, that's fine.

After my tennis career, I'll take it. It's fine.

So, yeah, you had your tennis career,

then you had your long, long stint on the Breakfast sofa.

Which did you prefer?

To be on GMTV was a privilege for ten years,

cos we met so many interesting people, so that was wonderful.

But to walk onto centre court was...

You know, the thing that starts it all off

is where your heart truly is.

And now I get to commentate, which is the second-best seat,

-really, in the house.

-Best of all worlds.

Now, Andrew, there we are. You're on 76.

The high scorers, at this stage, are on 100.

23 or less would prevent you even from becoming our new high scorers.

Well, I wouldn't want to get football wrong because sport

is something I'm supposed to know about, so I will choose...

Basel. FC Basel.

FC Basel, says Andrew.

CONTESTANTS EXCLAIM

-I know, it's like... It really is like...

-I thought it was a herb!

There you go. There is your red line.

If you can get below that red line, Andrew, with Basel, you are definitely in the next round.

Let's see how many people said Basel.

-It's right.

-Great!

-That's good news.

You're through.

7.

-Well done, you!

-Very well done. 83 your total.

-That's a relief.

-Wow! Oh, my gosh!

Great answer, Andrew.

Very well played. Under pressure - as you say, you should know your sport.

And you know who FC Basel's most famous fan is?

Mr Roger.

Roger Federer, yeah. Absolutely.

Thanks very much. Now, Carol.

-Welcome back.

-Thank you.

-It was Round One last time with Sherrie.

-Yeah.

-You've upgraded.

-Now you've got me!

-So I've got him! But I'm no better.

I don't follow football any more. So I don't know.

Now, Carol, you have been on Loose Women...

-You were on 1,172 shows.

-That's right, yes.

-That's a colossal number - more than we've done Pointless.

-That IS more than we've done Pointless.

-That's a huge number of shows.

-That was over a long time.

-That was over about 13 years.

-That's more than anyone else.

-You are the loosest woman.

-I...

I WAS the loosest woman.

Carol, we need a low score from you.

I know, but I don't think you're going to get one.

I'm just going to say a team that I know will probably have

-got into the Champions League.

-That's good enough.

-I'm going to say Barcelona.

-Barcelona, says Carol.

Again, when Roger nods, you know it's good. Roger is nodding.

There's no red line for you, as you're the high scorers,

but let's see how far down the column you can get with Barcelona.

It's right.

Oh, go on, Carol!

47. Not bad.

-147 is your total.

-Not bad, not bad.

-So now do we beat them?

-I doubt it.

-Well played, Carol.

Just about given yourself a chance there. Put the pressure on Penny.

-Got knocked out in the quarterfinals, Barcelona.

-Thanks very much.

-Now, Penny...

-Yes.

-I tell you what - not only were you a finalist

-last time you were on, you actually won the jackpot.

-We did.

I was with Jon Culshaw.

If you go through to the final tonight,

you will have two coveted Pointless trophies.

I know nothing about sport. No idea.

I used to do football interviews on GMTV. And if the question...

the person went, "Are you sure you mean that?" I'd go,

-"I don't know - it was written for me."

-I wrote that down for you!

-He wrote them down.

Sometimes, he used to leave little booby-traps

so that I read them wrongly and they'd go, "No, no."

And I'd go, "Well, just answer the question that you ask yourself - that'll be fine."

Now, Penny, you only have to score 98 or less.

98 or less.

Yes, I know, but it still has to be a football team

that is in the UEFA, which I don't know... United England...

-Football Athletes? What? I mean, what is that?

-Athletes?

I don't know. I'm just saying that I don't even know what UEFA is.

-So I'm going to go...

-Yes.

And I do apologise but at least we get an early bath

-and we can go home.

-That's right.

-And have dinner. AC Milan.

-AC Milan?

-Don't look at me like... What?

The way he says it makes me scared!

-All that and then you come up with AC Milan!

-Well...

What?

All I'm saying is Roger's nodding, so let's see. There it is.

There's your red line, Penny. If you get below that red line, it's fine.

Let's see. AC Milan - is it right, how many people said it?

It's right - you're through. Very well done indeed, Penny.

Down you go.

Nice low score, as well.

-17!

-Well done!

That is the second-lowest score of the whole round, Penny.

-Takes your total to 65.

-It's only cos Carol said Barcelona.

You see, Penny, if you spend your whole time saying,

"I don't know anything about football,"

you're then supposed to say Sunderland.

AC Milan! How dare you?

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Roger, welcome. It's been great having you here.

Already, you've contributed massively to the show.

I've just got a twitch!

When did you retire, Roger?

-I retired in 1998.

-Do you still run?

I jog with the wife in the mornings. A nice, gentle jog.

-Is it a bit competitive?

-No, no.

I can speak on behalf of both of us, cos we always get this question.

Retired Olympians always get this question.

"Are you super-competitive?"

We left our competitive natures as soon as we retired.

-Except for quiz shows.

-Except for quiz shows?

-What about fathers' races at sports day?

-Fathers' races.

Now, there's a problem, the fathers' race. What do you do?

Bring your spikes and your blocks!

They're all lining up to take you on.

Do you beat them, do you let them win? What do you do?

-You beat them!

-Yeah!

You go, "Yeah!"

You give it some of that!

Now then, Roger, you need to score 89 or less.

89 or less gets you through to the next round.

-I'm going to go Atletico Madrid.

-Atletico Madrid, says Roger.

Very good indeed. OK, here's your red line - nice and high.

If you get below that red line, Roger, with Atletico Madrid, you are through to Round Two.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right and you're through.

That's a great answer, 5.

The best answer of the whole round, Roger. The best till last!

62 your total - lowest total, as well.

Yeah, terrific answer, Roger. Very well played. Atletico Madrid.

Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers here.

Sunderland not amongst them. There's three pointless answers.

Very well done if you said Austria Vienna,

if you said Olympiakos or Steaua Bucharest.

All of those were pointless. I'll tell you some one-point scorers.

Anderlecht, Copenhagen,

CSKA Moscow, Real Sociedad.

All of those would have scored you one point.

You'd have got two points for Viktoria Plzen, for Shakhtar Donetsk

and for Zenit Saint Petersburg, and three points for Schalke and Napoli.

Other than that, Atletico Madrid was the best answer. Let's look at the top three.

Some of these will be familiar.

There's Arsenal with 57.

Chelsea, of course, nobody said. 62.

And Manchester United at the top on 76.

Thank you very much, Richard. So at the end of our first round,

the pair who are heading home with their high score of 147...

-I'm so sorry, Louie and Carol.

-THEY GROAN

Oh, Carol, it's not going to be this time you make it through to Round Two.

-Louie, it's been lovely having you here.

-Yeah.

-Thank you so much, both of you.

-It's been fantastic.

Can I just say, I know Atletico Madrid wear red-and-white stripy tops,

cos I've just come back from Spain and actually watched them win.

-But you know who else wears red-and-white stripy tops?

-Ah, yes.

-Do Sunderland wear them? Do they?

-Yeah, they do.

-I got confused!

-Yeah, that's it. Oh, that's why.

-That was it! I knew it!

Well, thank you so much, Carol and Louie.

-It's been lovely having you on. Carol and Louie, everyone!

-Thanks.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Thank you.

But, for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

So, three pairs remain. Obviously, at the end of this round,

we will be down to two pairs for our head-to-head round.

Best of luck to all three pairs. Our category for Round Two today is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

-who's going to go second?

-Well, I know nothing about them.

-Neither do I.

-Whoever's first, step up to the podium.

OK. And the question concerns...

Number one debut albums. Richard.

On each board, we're going to give you the titles of six albums

that went to number one in the UK

and they were the debut albums by the artist who released them.

Tell us the name of those artists, please. Which artists released these number-one albums

in the years you're going to be shown? Good luck.

OK, so the names of the artists - that's what we are after,

the artists who had number ones with these debut albums. Here's our first board of six.

And we have...

I'll read those again.

Kriss.

-I haven't got a Dolly Blue, mate.

-Really?

Well...I haven't got a clue.

Oh, Kriss, you're going to have to make one up if you can't...

You're right, you're right.

I'm going to go for Elton John.

-For which one?

-Oh, Fantastic!

Fantastic! Elton John, says Kriss. Let's see if that's right.

-KRISS CHUCKLES

-Let's just see if that's right.

Oh, mate, I don't...

-Oh, I'm sorry, Kriss.

-Oh, no, what a surprise!

I got it wrong?!

You scored 100!

Wahey! I'm afraid...

Yeah, I'm afraid an incorrect answer. I'm sorry, Kriss.

Yeah, I'm sorry, Kriss.

I'll give you all the answers at the end of the pass.

Thanks very much. Now, Vanessa.

Well, I have a jolly good idea about one of them

but I think, obviously, it's the easiest one

and will be the one with lots of points.

Then there's another one I just think I might know,

cos I think... I know the lyric of the song.

I think I'll take a punt on it - and forgive me if I get this wrong...

So I'm going to go for All Rise, 2001,

and I'm going to say that that is the band Blue.

Blue, says Vanessa. Let's see if that's right and,

if it is, how many of our 100 people said Blue.

-It's right.

-Well done!

Very well done indeed, Vanessa.

-29. Very well done.

-Well done!

-Well done!

-Ooh!

-Brilliant.

-I know the song.

-Brilliant. No, well done.

Well played, Vanessa, and, as you say,

also the name of one of their famous tracks, as well. All Rise.

Thanks, Rich. So, Andrew...

-Yes.

-Andrew, you're the last person to have this board.

If you fancied it and felt like showing off, you could take us

through all of them. Fill in all the blanks.

All Rise is the first one I would have gone for so well done,

Vanessa, I'm delighted for you(!)

LAUGHTER

I think Adele was 19.

And I think Parachutes was, er, Coldplay.

Lexicon Of Love I don't know -

was that Robert Palmer?

I'm just going to go 19 - Adele.

19 - Adele, says Andrew.

Let's see if that's right and let's see how many people said Adele.

-It's right.

-Yes!

-Well, 29 is our lowest correct answer.

And you've passed it. 27, very close.

-The best score of the round so far.

-Well done, you!

Well played, Andrew. Very good answer.

19 was by Adele.

Sold over three million copies worldwide.

Parachutes - you're absolutely right - was Coldplay.

Would've scored you more points, actually. Would've scored you 35.

-And The Lexicon Of Love - not Robert Palmer, but it's that era.

-ABC.

-ABC.

Would've scored 13. Now, Fantastic! - not Elton John. But it's not...

Cos Captain Fantastic is an Elton John...

-It's Wham!

-Oh, of course!

Would've scored you 6 points.

And another huge act - Dangerously In Love.

Beyonce. Would've scored you 11.

So the best answer on the board there is Wham! Well done if you said that.

Thanks, Richard. We're halfway through the round. Let's see the scores. 27,

best score of the pass, Andrew. Well done. 29, where we find

Vanessa and Penny.

And 100, I'm afraid, Kriss and Roger.

It was an honourable 100, though, as Richard said, Kriss,

so no shame in that. But it means a bit of an onus on you, Roger.

We need a nice low score

and we'll hope that's enough to keep you in the game.

We'll come back down the line now. Second players, please step up to the podium.

OK, Keith.

We're going to put six more albums on the board and here they are.

I'll read those all again.

-Now then, Keith, what are you going to go for?

-I do know one of them.

Er... Oh, gosh, it's really...

And there's a couple that...

I don't want to give too much away to the other teams but I'm going

to go Welcome To The Pleasuredome, 1984, Frankie Goes To Hollywood.

Frankie Goes To Hollywood, says Keith.

You want to be scoring 72 or less

and that would get you into the head-to-head.

Get below that red line with Frankie Goes To Hollywood and you're there. Let's see how many people said it.

-Oh!

-It's right,

-and you're through. Very well done, Keith.

-Lucky day.

-Good answer, 32.

-Whoa!

-Well done, mate.

-Thank you.

-59 is your total.

Thank you.

Yeah, well played, Keith. From your home city, of course.

-Thanks very much. Now, Penny...

-Well, it's just not my thing.

-I don't need it.

-Oh, come now.

You said this last time and then came up with AC Milan.

I'm not going to listen to any of this.

I just don't really listen to sort of albums. I listen to, you know...

Yeah, yeah, yeah! Listen, you have to score 70 or less, Penny.

Well, the only thing I can think of is Walthamstow is East 17.

-East 17. OK.

-Wow!

LAUGHTER

-Is that wrong?

-I don't know but it sounded great.

-It sounds clever.

East 17.

There's your red line. I... It'll be fine. Let's find out.

Is that right - Walthamstow, East 17? How many people said it?

If you get below that red line, you're in the head-to-head. Let's find out if it's right.

Absolutely right, Penny, of course.

-And through you go to the head-to-head.

-Fabulous!

-Oh, that's fabulous. Well done!

-Oh, and guess what -

-the lowest score of the round, Penny.

-Brilliant. Brilliant!

-Takes your total to 44.

-So clever! That's clever.

-Thank you.

Getting close to a red card for Penny, isn't it?

Yeah, Penny, one more time and you're off the show. We're not having that.

In the regular shows, we do give yellow cards and red cards for people who say,

"I don't know anything about this," then get the best answer of the round.

But honestly... The only thing is... It's the postcode!

You're getting yourself in more trouble!

Thank you, Richard. Roger, this is terrible.

I know. What can I do?

-Nothing!

-You can talk us through the board and fill in all the blanks,

-cos I know you'll be able to.

-I can do two of them!

-It's good enough.

-And I know the one I would have gone for.

-Go on.

The one I would have gone for would have been Phil Collins, Face Value.

And then the other one is Oasis and Definitely Maybe.

And I don't know the other two.

-Which of those do you want to submit?

-Phil Collins, Face Value.

OK. Phil Collins, says Roger. Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it.

No red line for you, cos you're already our high scorers.

Look at that!

Look what a good answer that was!

APPLAUSE

10.

And, Roger, that is the best score of the round.

Nobody got lower than that. 110 is your total.

Yeah, best answer of the round, Roger, but you were...

Sadly, you were handed the baton about 40 to 50 metres behind.

I dropped the baton for the very first time in my life, Roger.

I'm sorry, fella.

You were right about Oasis - Definitely Maybe - but a bigger scorer.

That would've scored you 40 - biggest score on the board.

The Hurting. Do you remember The Hurting? Tears For Fears.

-Tears For Fears, yes, exactly.

-Would've scored 4.

And Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not?

-Arctic Monkeys.

-Arctic Monkeys, yeah. That would have scored 13.

Tears For Fears the best answer on the board.

Thanks very much indeed. At the end of the second round,

the pair who are heading home with a high score of 110

is Roger and Kriss. I'm so sorry. Oh, Kriss.

-We're still friends.

-Well, listen, come back. Come back and win it.

-Fantastic. Look forward to it.

-Fantastic. Exactly!

-It's been lovely...

-KRISS CHUCKLES

-Boom, boom, boom!

-It's been lovely having you on.

Roger and Kriss, fantastic contestants. Thanks so much for playing.

-APPLAUSE

-Thank you very much, guys.

But, for Keith and Andrew, Vanessa and Penny,

it's now time for our head-to-head.

Well, congratulations, Vanessa and Penny, Keith and Andrew.

You're now one step closer to the final

and a chance to place our jackpot, which currently stands at...

APPLAUSE

This is the point where we decide who gets to play for that money,

and we do that by making you go head-to-head.

The difference now is you can chat before you give you answers, you can confer.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Now you can confer, I think this is going to be very close.

So, best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question, and it concerns...

-Rich...

-Yeah, we're going to give you five clues now to facts

about the TV show - TV talent show - The Voice UK.

Can you give us the most obscure answer?

OK, so let's reveal our five questions but rather than have them

from me, why not have them from one of The Voice's judges, Ricky Wilson?

Hi, Xander and Richard. Sorry I can't be with you in person.

Here are five questions all about The Voice.

What is the real surname of coach Tom Jones?

-God!

-In the opening show of the 2014 series,

The Voice coaches performed the Kaiser Chiefs' hit I Predict A Riot.

In which city did the Kaiser Chiefs form?

What is the title of the BBC Two Voice spin-off show

first broadcast in March 2014?

Which female presenter has co-hosted The Voice 2014 series with Marvin Humes?

Andrea Begley won the show in 2013.

What was the title of her debut single?

OK. Five questions there. I will read them all one more time for you.

Vanessa and Penny, you will go first.

THEY CONFER

I've got absolutely no idea. So if we go first...

The only one I know is that one.

Right. The one we think we can answer

is the name of the female presenter

who co-hosted the 2014 series of The Voice with Marvin Humes.

-Emma Willis.

-Emma Willis.

Emma Willis, say Vanessa and Penny.

Now then, Keith and Andrew, over to you.

-Talk us through the board if you can.

-Oh, well...

-OK.

-I immediately bow to him.

-Why?

Just so I can talk to him!

You HAVE to bow to me!

The real surname of Tom Jones I do not know and I should know that one.

Title of the BBC Two spin-off show...

They're not normally that original, the spin-off shows

-and the titles, are they?

-No.

What would you have said for that?

-The Voice Over.

-No. No, I know it's not that.

The Voice 2?

More The Voice?

Title of the winner Andrea Begley's debut single?

-No idea?

-No idea. The only one...

I mean, Ricky Wilson - his father was a television producer

who lived in Manchester and he produced a television show -

It's A Knockout - and a thing I did called Anything Goes.

And Ricky Wilson and I have got the same birthday - I know that,

17th January - so I've come out with a few facts about that one,

so I can only presume that his band was formed in Manchester.

-You let me struggle!

-Sorry.

-Twist in the wind!

-They're the only facts I know.

-Say it!

So we'll go for Kaiser Chiefs, Manchester.

OK, so we have Emma Willis, we have Manchester.

Vanessa and Penny have said Emma Willis.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said it, if it is.

It's right!

Well done!

Well done!

Meanwhile, Keith and Andrew have said Manchester.

Is that where the Kaiser Chiefs were formed? Let's find out.

-Oh, sorry!

-I'm afraid not Manchester.

Which means, well done, Vanessa and Penny. After one question, you're up 1-0.

Very well played. Kaiser Chiefs, a brilliant band.

-Not from Manchester, I'm afraid, but from Leeds.

-Ah!

-Yeah.

Would have scored you 15 points as well.

Would have been a very nice answer.

The real surname of The Voice UK coach - he is Tom Woodward.

CONTESTANTS EXCLAIM

-Never heard of that!

-Six people knew that!

The title of the BBC Two spin-off show, just The Voice: Louder On Two.

The Voice: Louder On Two would have scored you 1 point.

And the title of that single

was My Immortal.

That would have scored you 2 points, so very well done if you got that.

Thanks very much indeed. Here comes your second question.

Keith and Andrew, you get to answer this first.

You have to win it to stay in the game so best of luck. It concerns...

-Bald people with hair?

-Eh?!

Famous bald people...

-Presumably when they had hair?

-Well, we shall see, shan't we?

-We'll discover.

-We're going to show you five pictures of people

who are famous for having a bald or shaved head but we're going to

-show you them with hair. Can you tell us who they are, please?

-I see.

-Thanks very much indeed.

Let's reveal our five famous people with hair. And here they are.

We have...

OK, there we are.

Five famous bald people with hair.

Now, Keith and Andrew, you will go first this time.

What's the name of that singer?

THEY WHISPER

Yeah, we... I-I...

Going to go for C.

Yeah, C. And he said,

"Famous Indian guy," and I said...

-Played Gandhi.

-Ben Kingsley.

Is the right...

OK, you're going to say Ben Kingsley for C. Ben Kingsley for C.

Now, Vanessa and Penny, the rest of the board is yours. Talk us through it.

We think that A is Kojak,

-Telly Savalas.

-Lollipop.

-We think that B...

-Andre Agassi.

..is Andre Agassi.

We think that D is the extremely

famous Irish singer with no hair.

We think it's Sinead

but can't remember her proper name.

Suddenly forgotten her name completely.

And E, Bruce Willis, of course.

Not Sinead O'Connor?

-Sinead O'Connor!

-Is it Sinead O'Connor?

Now, do we want to go Sinead O'Connor or do we want to go Telly Savalas?

Telly Savalas is surely the most famous bald person ever, so surely there'll be loads of points.

-No, but people don't... Do you think?

-Well, yeah.

OK, go for Sinead O'Connor, then.

-Do you think?

-Yes, go on, then.

-Yeah, go on.

-All right, Sinead O'Connor.

Sinead O'Connor, say Vanessa and Penny, for D. Sinead O'Connor.

So, we have Ben Kingsley, we have Sinead O'Connor.

Keith and Andrew said Ben Kingsley. Let's see if that is right for C.

If it is, let's see how many people said it.

-It's right.

-Yay!

-Look at that,

-7. Oh, my gosh! Wow!

Very well done. Good work.

Well done, Keith. That was yours.

-Same dentist.

-Teamwork! But 7.

Now, Vanessa and Penny, that's what you have to beat with Sinead O'Connor.

D, Sinead O'Connor.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

It's right.

39.

39 for Sinead O'Connor which means - well done, Keith and Andrew -

you're back in the game. After two questions, it's 1-1.

-Ben Kingsley was a great answer there. Very well spotted. Did you spot Ben Kingsley?

-I did.

-It's always good to see an actor on the phone.

-Good phone acting.

An action shot. Now, A, of course, is Telly Savalas.

Not a huge score, actually.

Would have scored you 27.

Andre Agassi, slightly fewer points.

Would have scored you 23.

That's a haircut and a half! You wouldn't think he was going to go bald there, would you?

And E, of course, is Bruce Willis and he is the biggest scorer.

Would have scored you 67.

-One, two, three earrings on Bruce Willis there.

-Oh, really?

-Yeah.

That's unnecessary, isn't it?

-Just do some acting.

-Yeah.

-Get a phone, for God's sake.

-Do your phone acting.

That's really good.

I can do phone and Venetian blind acting, as well, which is...

LAUGHTER

OK, here comes your third question.

Whoever wins this goes through to the final place for that jackpot.

It concerns...

Regions in Asian countries. Richard.

We'll show you names of five regions in different Asian countries,

but we've missed out alternate letters from their names.

Can you fill in those gaps and give us the most obscure answer?

-Good luck.

-OK, so let's reveal our five regions with bits missing.

And here they are. We have...

I'll read those all again.

Vanessa and Penny will go first.

I think I'm going to go for the first one, which is Chiang Mai.

Chiang Mai, say Vanessa and Penny.

Now, Keith and Andrew, it's over to you. Talk us through as many of those as you can.

Well, bottom one is India - Delhi.

-Tokyo.

-Tokyo.

Er...Abu Dhabi.

Iran, I'm not too sure. Is it East...

-Is that the winner, isn't it, the Iran one?

-Possibly. East...

-East Alam...

-No. Tokyo's too easy.

People will get that. Abu Dhabi?

-I think people will get Delhi quickly.

-Delhi - easy.

We don't know that one so we've got to go for that one,

which is the United Arab Emirates - Abu Dhabi.

Abu Dhabi, say Keith and Andrew.

So Vanessa and Penny have gone for Chiang Mai.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

It's right.

That's a great answer. 10. Very well done.

-KEITH: Very good.

-Excellent.

Keith and Andrew have gone for Abu Dhabi. Let's see if that's right and how many people said that.

It's right.

65.

-It's OK.

-Yeah.

-Which means, well done, Vanessa and Penny.

After three questions, you're through to the final 2-1.

You're absolutely right - the second one down would have been the best answer -

but we'll go through the other two first.

Delhi, of course, at the bottom.

A big scorer -

would have scored you 77.

Tokyo in the middle - a huge scorer.

98 points for that.

And it's East Azerbaijan.

PLAYERS EXCLAIM

In the north-west of Iran.

2 points. If you worked that out... If you knew it, very well done.

If you worked it out, very well done as well. Tough one. Really hard to see.

Thanks very much. The pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round...

I'm sorry, Keith and Andrew, it's you.

What a heroic performance, all the way through.

And great teamwork in this last round as well, so very well done.

-I enjoyed it.

-It's been a while.

-It's been lovely having you both. Please come back again.

Meantime, thanks very much for playing, Keith and Andrew.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

-Good luck, you two.

APPLAUSE

But, for Vanessa and Penny, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Vanessa and Penny.

You've fought off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot for your charities.

At the moment, the jackpot stands at...

You're double trophy winners, each of you. A pair of...

How's the coveting been going on your trophies so far?

Oh, every time that anybody comes round,

it's the first thing I get out. Before I even ask if they want a cup of tea or to take their shoes off.

People are desperately jealous. Everybody wants a Pointless trophy.

And now you have two. Mwah-ha-ha-ha!

Bookends! Ha-ha-ha!

As always, you get to choose your category from the four we put up on the board for you.

Let's see what's up there today. Let's hope there's something you like the look of.

We've got...

LAUGHTER

Shall we say that Sport In 2014 obviously is ours(!)

-That wouldn't be ours.

-Isn't it? Naturally! I think we can possibly discount that.

The Beatles, I was never particularly good at.

United States of America I've travelled across, but...

Do you think we should give Woody Allen a bash?

-Do you know a lot of Woody Allen?

-I know SOME Woody Allen.

I would hesitate to say I'm a great expert. Or, as he would say, a great maven.

Let's go for Woody Allen cos at least I've seen a few films.

-I've seen some. Shall we try it?

-Woody Allen.

-Yes?

-We're going for Woody Allen.

-You're going to go for Woody Allen?

-We are.

-Woody Allen.

Best of luck. These three questions are very similar.

We're looking for any feature film made for cinema release

for which Woody Allen has got a director's credit,

according to IMDB, up to April 2014, that has a one-word title...

that has a two-word title. You can probably see where we're going -

has a three-word title.

So any feature film made for cinema release up to

the beginning of April 2014 for which Woody Allen has received

a director's credit with one-word, two-word or three-word titles.

-Very best of luck.

-Thanks very much indeed.

As always, you've got up to a minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win the jackpot is for just one of the answers to be pointless. Are you ready?

-BOTH: Yes.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock. There they are.

Your time starts now.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona.

-What about Zelig?

-Zelig, yes.

Zelig is a good one.

-Deconstructing Harry.

-Oh, excellent one.

How about that? Deconstructing Harry. And three-word films...

-Well, we don't have to do...

-Broadway Danny Rose.

What about The Jade something or other? What was that called?

-The Jade...

-I don't know.

-The Jade Dragon.

The Jade Tattoo or something.

No, I'm getting confused about dragon tattoos.

Can you think of anything nobody will have seen or nobody will remember?

-What's the one about the sisters?

-That's Hannah And Her...

That's too many. And obviously Manhattan's going to get loads.

Yes, so do you think we should go for Zelig for the one-word?

-And the two-word...

-Well, we don't have to do one for each but...

-Well, if we did Deconstructing Harry.

-Yeah, perfect.

And possibly Broadway Danny Rose, which I don't think is one of...

Broadway Danny Rose or Vicky Cristina Barcelona.

-Which one do you think?

-Well, Vicky Cristina Barcelona is recent.

-Ten seconds.

-There we go. Sorry?

-You've got your three.

I was just saying you had ten seconds left.

-Well, we'll just talk about...

-I'm thinking if there are any others we can think of that are...

OK, that's your time up.

I now need your three answers. What are you going to give me?

-Zelig.

-Zelig.

-Deconstructing Harry.

-Deconstructing Harry.

-And Broadway Danny Rose.

-Broadway Danny Rose. Excellent.

Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

I think Zelig, myself. What do you think?

-I'm hoping Deconstructing Harry might be good.

-Deconstructing Harry.

-We're going to go Deconstructing Harry.

-Deconstructing Harry last. Least likely to be pointless?

-Broadway Danny Rose.

-Broadway Danny Rose first. Zelig in the middle.

Let's pop those up on the board in that order, then, and here they are.

We've got...

Well, three brilliant answers up there. Very best of luck with this.

Surely one of those will be pointless.

If one of them is and you win that jackpot for your charities,

-what are your charities?

-Mine is Breast Cancer Care.

It's a fabulous charity and it's all about living

a full and rich life after having breast cancer.

-It's great.

-Excellent.

APPLAUSE

And Penny?

St Mungo's, which helps homeless people

who are vulnerable or excluded.

Very good.

APPLAUSE

Well, two fantastic charities there.

Let's hope that at least one of those answers is pointless

and will win that jackpot for those charities.

Your first answer, the one you thought least likely to be pointless,

was Broadway Danny Rose. Let's find out.

It has to be correct, then it has to be pointless.

If it's both of those things, you will win the jackpot of £2,500.

Let's find out how many of our 100 people said Broadway Danny Rose.

It's right.

That's the first thing it had to be.

If this goes all the way down to zero,

you'll leave here with that jackpot for your charities.

Down it goes, Broadway Danny Rose, into single figures.

Still going down. Down it goes!

You've done it! That is fantastic!

THEY SQUEAL EXCITEDLY

-Well done.

-Oh, that's brilliant!

-That's brilliant!

-Fabulous job!

Crazy!

Oh, wow!

Oh, I'm thrilled!

-I'm thrilled!

-Congratulations.

Broadway Danny Rose.

That's a pointless answer, which means you go home with

that jackpot of £2,500 for your charities. What a brilliant answer.

Do you know, we work together every single day.

-This is such a lovely thing to do together.

-Yes, it's great!

-I'm so thrilled. We're so delighted!

-It's brilliant.

-Brilliant.

-And how lovely for the charities.

-It's just brilliant.

-And your first answer as well!

-Gosh! How were the others?

-Well, let's find out. Richard.

-Let's find out, yeah.

Well, your two-word title, Deconstructing Harry,

-also a pointless answer.

-No!

-Yes!

Your one word answer, Zelig...

-..would've scored you one point. What were you thinking?

-Gosh!

What about that, though? Two pointless answers!

-I'd have said Zelig was our most...

-Two pointless answers!

-Well done!

-Wow!

-Let's take a look at all the different pointless answers.

The one-word ones were the hardest ones.

Alice would have been a pointless answer. Celebrity and September.

Well done if you said that. The two-word titles...

You could've had Deconstructing Harry, Mighty Aphrodite.

You could've had Stardust Memories.

You also could've had Whatever Works,

Another Woman and Hollywood Ending.

Let's take a look at the three-worders. Broadway Danny Rose.

Crimes And Misdemeanors a pointless answer.

Husbands And Wives. And Sweet And Lowdown also a pointless answer.

Very well done if you got any of those at home. Congratulations on getting the two in the studio.

Thanks, Richard. Well, thanks once again to our winning players, Vanessa and Penny,

who go away with today's jackpot of £2,500 for their charities.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Join us next time when we'll put more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.