1980s Pointless Celebrities

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed. Hi, I'm Alexander Armstrong

and welcome to this special 1980s edition of Pointless Celebrities.

The quiz where the lowest scorers are the biggest winners.

Let's meet today's Pointless Celebrities.

APPLAUSE

And couple number one.

Hi, I'm Willie Thorne, former professional snooker player

and winner of 14 tournaments worldwide.

APPLAUSE

Well done.

Hi, I'm Tessa Sanderson and I competed in

six consecutive Olympic Games and won the Olympic gold in '84.

And couple number two.

Hi there, I'm Stedman and this is my sister Denise

and we're both from Five Star.

Couple number three.

Hi, I'm Rustie Lee, well known for laughing a lot and cooking.

Yes. And I'm Anne Diamond

and we first met on breakfast television over 30 years ago.

-Ouch!

-And I'm going to hide behind her laugh.

RUSTIE LAUGHS

And, finally, couple number four.

I'm Emma Samms and I was on The Colbys and Dynasty

with this lady, she was my mother-in-law.

And I played her mother-in-law and I'm Stephanie Beacham.

-APPLAUSE

-And these are today's contestants.

Thanks very much, all of you,

and we'll find out more about you, throughout the show, so that just

leaves one more person for me to introduce.

Hypnotising us with his dazzling intellect before making us

do chicken impressions we'll never remember, it's my Pointless friend.

-It's Richard.

-Hiya.

Hi, everybody. APPLAUSE

Hiya.

-Good evening.

-Yeah, good evening to you.

-Oh!

-Oh, the '80s.

-For the first time ever, they've let us wear our own clothes.

-I know.

-That's nice, isn't it?

-Yeah!

-We met in the '80s, didn't we?

I was just thinking that. You looked so like that.

Yeah, you look identical. We're very early.

-I think this is an early '80s look.

-I think that's true.

Stephanie was saying it was '70s. She's got a point.

I'm saying very early '80s.

Anyway, should be a cracking show. Eight great contestants,

we've had a couple of them on before and I'm worried about Willie

because every time we have a snooker player on,

they get knocked out in the first round -

John Virgo, first round, Dennis Taylor, first round,

John Parrott, first round.

I'm used to getting beat in the first round, so, it's OK.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Now, we've asked all our questions to 100 people before the show.

As ever, the aim of the game is to find a Pointless answer.

That's an answer that none of our 100 people gave

and each time that happens, we will add 250 quid to the jackpot.

Now, as today's show is a celebrity special and each of our celebrities

is playing for a nominated charity, we start off with a jackpot of...

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

OK, now the pair with the highest score at the end of this

round will be eliminated and also, remember, there is

to be no conferring during the round.

OK, our first category today is...

It's Words. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And, whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many words ending in

"..atch" as they could. Words ending "..atch", Richard.

We're looking for any word which has its own

entry in the Oxford Dictionary of English that ends "..atch."

Please, as always, no hyphenated words, no proper nouns,

anything like that, just any word that ends "..atch."

-Very best of luck.

-Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Now, you all drew lots before the show and, Tessa and Willie,

today you are going to go first. Tessa, welcome.

It's great to have you here,

a great legend of the javelin throwing world.

-Gold winner as you said in 1984. Yeah, absolutely.

-Thank you.

Thank you.

I've still got to find a word though. Um...

The other thing is Tessa, not only that,

you've got not only your gold medal, you've got every BE there is.

You're an OBE, a CBE, an MBE...

Are there any more honours you can collect?

Um...the Dame would be nice, but, you know, that's not up to me.

That's not up to me, but, oh, you know what?

No, I mean, it was lovely getting those awards, you know,

for the work that I've done and things like that.

Very, very nice and, a couple I was honoured,

to get from the Queen herself, which was marvellous.

Well, that's nice.

But, em, you know, I was so proud to have got those and, you know,

it was just really, really an honour.

Now, then, Tessa, words ending in "..atch." There's a trophy waiting

for you at the end of this show if you make it to the final.

I've been really trying to think at this one. Um...

I don't know if my one's a word. I might have made it up.

-Oh, really?

-Yeah.

-Are you starting to worry?

-Uh...eh...

We'll find out.

Why don't we go for, um...?

Hatch!

Why don't we go for hatch? Let's see if that's right and,

if it is, let's see how many... I've got to stop saying

"if that's right." Let's see how many people said hatch.

It's right.

71.

It was too easy that one. Yeah.

A big scorer, but always tough on that first podium

in the Words round, you've got less time than anybody else.

You had two - you can hatch a plan, you can hatch an egg.

-It can mean different things.

-It can. Beautifully put.

-Thank you, dude.

-Stedman. Stedman! A fifth of

-Five Star. Yeah.

What are you up to at the moment, Stedman? What are you doing?

Uh, I am currently working on my solo career right now.

And you're involved in dance as well, aren't you?

Yes, I teach, um, young people...

-..and people our age as well, you know, how to dance.

-Excuse me!

Jiggy with it, you know?

Now, Stedman, words ending in "..atch."

That's what we're looking for.

-Batch.

-Batch says Stedman. Batch. Let's see if it's right and,

if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said, "Batch."

It's right.

Whoa! Look at that. It beats hatch by one point.

Oh, it's a needle match we have on here.

I'm not going to make you define batch, unless you want to.

-No, no, no, no. You know what it means, right?

-Yeah, yeah.

Someone who doesn't marry - a man who doesn't marry -

-he's a batch, isn't he?

-Yeah, exactly.

-That guy, he's a batch. Yeah!

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

OK, now then. Anne, welcome.

-Thank you.

-Welcome. Now, for heaven's sake,

if anyone's going to be a master on Pointless, it is going to be...

Oh, don't say that.

I say that because GMTV, Good Morning, Good Morning with Anne

and Nick, I mean, how many years were you getting up...?

Getting up too early in the morning? About 20 years, I think.

Yeah, but has your body clock ever really...?

No, there are great wadges of the '80s I don't remember at all,

because they said it was like living with permanent jet lag

getting up at that hour every single morning and people say,

"You came to my home, you had dinner,

"you played with my children." And I can't remember at all.

But the reward is you're a cherished person for a whole

generation of people, you know. It's a great treat to have you here.

Words ending in "..atch." I bet you never asked anyone that on the sofa.

No, I never have. No, um...there are a lot with one letter, aren't there?

In front. And I was just trying to be clever and think

if I could think of a word with more than one letter in the front.

-Dispatch?

-"Dispatch," says Anne. Dispatch, let's see if that's right

and, if it is, let's see how many people said, "Dispatch."

'Well, it's 71 our high score, 70 our low. You passed both of those.'

Come on, Anne! Come on!

Look at that! 12, Anne.

-Yes!

-Go, girl!

Very well done indeed. 12 for dispatch.

-Very well played.

-My partner!

ALEXANDER LAUGHS

Very well played, Anne. Yeah, to send off for a purpose. To dispatch.

-Yeah!

-Emma...

Welcome. Welcome, welcome. Emma, of course, Dynasty.

I mean, for heaven's sake, TV royalty,

'80s TV royalty, really, I mean, for heaven's sake.

Um...Fallon Carrington Colby you were,

-but then you were in Dynasty first...

-Yes.

-And then in The Colbys.

-And then in Dynasty again.

Then in Dynasty again, but, actually, the funniest thing

of all, you then went into General Hospital where you were Holly.

-And then you, I think you were killed.

-I was.

-But then you came back.

-I did.

-As your identical half-sister.

And we've had identical twins on this show.

We've never had identical half-sisters.

But she had a different accent.

Um, now then, Emma.

Words ending "..atch." You've had a little bit of time.

Um, I'm thinking of a slightly unusual word, which is

a bit risque, so I'm sorry, if it's not right,

but I'm thinking vatch.

Vatch.

It is an unusual word. Wha...? Do you know it? Have you heard it?

I have.

There are places around where I live that are using that word

and I don't think it's a place name, I think it's also a thing.

Um, "Vatch," says Emma.

Let's see if vatch exists and, if it does,

let's see how many of our 100 people said it. Vatch.

Oh!

You looked hopeful too though, didn't you, Anne?

-I did. Was it vetch then?

-Oh, Emma!

-You vatch!

-I'm sorry!

-You vatch!

I'm afraid vatch is an incorrect answer, which scores...

-That's exactly the right tact to take though.

-Except get it right.

I know, but you were taking a proper risk though.

Pointless salutes risk-takers.

Quite often because they're saying goodbye to them, but...!

But it scored you the maximum of 100 points. I'm sorry.

Sorry, Emma. It was a risk and we do like risk-takers

and there's a couple of other high scores, so it might not be

too damaging, but, yeah, no vatch, I'm afraid.

There's vetch as in the Vetch Field and things like that,

but...where do you live?

I live in the Cotswolds.

I thought you were going to say Romania

and then I thought we'd solved it.

Thanks very much. We're halfway through the round.

Let's look at those scores as they stand. 12 the best score of

that pass. Anne, very well done indeed.

Anne and Rustie looking very strong at this stage

and then up to 70 where we find Stedman and Denise, up to 71,

Tessa and Willie, and then, I'm afraid, up to 100, where we find

Emma and Stephanie. We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, so we are looking for words ending in "..atch."

Stephanie, welcome.

-Thank you.

-Welcome to the show. Great to have you here.

Now, Sable Colby you were. So, what relation were you to Emma.

-Mother-in-law?

-I was...

She went and married my son without my permission.

-Didn't you?

-Did you ever have to scratch her face in the script?

-No, no, no, I just ignored her at breakfast.

-Oh! So much worse.

THEY LAUGH

Now then, let's have a really nice low scoring word ending "..atch",

Stephanie.

Relatch.

-Relatch. Not content with just latching.

-No.

-You want to relatch.

-Yes.

OK, "Relatch," says Stephanie. Let's see if that's right and,

if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said relatch.

No red line for you as you're the high scorers.

No! Oh, Stephanie!

-Bye!

-I'm really sorry.

-Can we just go now?

-Again, a valiant attempt.

I applaud what you were doing there. Generally speaking,

that's the way you find a nice low-scoring word,

but in this case, that was an incorrect word,

which means you've scored 100 points.

It takes your total up to 200. I'm sorry.

Yes, Stephanie, really sorry.

Those "re-" words that, quite often they are in there,

but, relatch isn't there.

For an '80s special, you'd think it'd be allowed

cos of the Frankie Goes To Hollywood hit.

-Yeah.

-"Relatched, Don't Do Latch."

-Yeah.

-Very good.

-Thanks very much indeed. Rustie.

-Oh!

-You started off cooking.

-Yes.

-In fact, with Anne.

-In the same studio as Anne.

-That's right.

-But then you...

-TV-AM.

-But you were in EastEnders, briefly.

-I was in...

I'm an actress also, you know. Yeah!

-Also, let's not forget, you had a singing career as well.

-I also sing.

I still do. I'm just about to do a record, a song with UB-40.

-I'm looking forward to that.

-Good stuff.

Well, Rustie, before you do all that, you're going

-to have to give us a word ending "..atch."

-Right, I've got two ideas.

I think one might be too high,

so I'm going to go with the one I think everyone hasn't gone for.

-Mismatch.

-Mismatch. "Mismatch," says Rustie.

No red line for the reason that you are already through,

but let's see how many people said, "Mismatch."

Well, our lowest correct score is 12.

You pass it - eight. Rustie...

..the lowest score of the round, Rustie. Very well done indeed.

That takes your total up to 20.

Well played, Rustie.

Turn the car off, love. I'm not coming out yet.

RUSTIE LAUGHS

I don't believe it!

Richard, are you hiding behind Rustie's laugh there?

I think we'd find all sorts down there if we looked.

Yeah, a mismatch - an unfair or unequal contest.

Like a team who've got 20 against a team who've got 200, for example.

-That's so mean!

-You're horrid!

I'm saying it's unfair, that's what it is.

Anyway, meanwhile...

Denise...Denise, welcome to Pointless.

It's great to have you here. We now have two fifths of Five Star.

Is there any chance at all of Five Star coming back together?

We've had McFly on the show, they're back together.

In fact, they've formed up with Busted, they have McBusted now.

-Oh, well! McBusted!

-You should get back together with

the Jacksons and have Jackson Five Star.

Oh, my God, that would be amazing! Absolutely amazing.

Wow. Now then, you're through to the next round. This is good news.

But we need a word from you ending "..atch."

A low score there from Rustie for mismatch - eight.

-Do you think you can do better than that?

-Em...

-Maybe...thatch.

-Thatch. Did...?

What gave you that idea?

No red line as you're already through,

but let's see how many of our 100 people said, "Thatch."

44.

Very well done. 114 is your total.

Yes, the straw roof of a building or a person's hair

if it's thick or unruly, say.

LAUGHTER

I was going to...I was just about to do that through my hair then

-I remembered that it would literally just come off.

-Yeah. Not like mine.

-All mine!

-Oh, look at that.

-Yeah.

Thanks very much indeed.

Now, Willie, it's great to have you here,

one of the great snooker players of the 1980s, I mean,

-you were in the top 16 for years and years and years.

-An awful long time.

-Yeah. How may times did you hit the 147 break?

-198.

-Yeah, that'll do.

Whoa!

APPLAUSE

Very good. Now, Willie, other good news - you're through.

Well, I've been thinking, cos, obviously, I've had plenty of time

to think about one and I can't think of a Pointless answer,

but I can think of one that'll score quite low, which is rematch.

Rematch? "Rematch," says Willie. Let's see if that's right and,

if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

No red line cos you're through.

It's right.

Nine! Very well done indeed. Takes your total up to a lovely round 80.

Great answer, Willie. You've got through to the second round, unlike

your many, many colleagues, all of whom fell at the first hurdle.

And a rematch is what Stephanie and Emma must have, I think,

at some point, cos that's a very, very harsh 200 points, isn't it?

-Yeah, very.

-Xander, do you have an answer?

-I do have an answer, Richard, yes, I do.

-Go on.

-Mine's prematch.

-Prematch?

-It could...

-If you'd said prematch...

-Yeah, go on.

I know it's going to be...

-A Pointless answer.

-Yes!

Very good. APPLAUSE

Very, very good. Let's take a look at

some more Pointless answers as well. There's quite a few of them.

Crossmatch - which is the world's most disappointing dating agency.

You could have Crosspatch - that's an angry dog.

You could have Klatch, which is a social grouping.

Potlatch - which is a North American Indian feast.

Skywatch - which is what you do when there's nothing on BBC ONE.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

At the end of our first round, the pair heading home

with our high score of 200 - I'm so sorry - Stephanie and Emma.

Just to have got you all the way here,

it's wonderful to have you on the show and to dispatch you...

-That's clever.

-..um, so untimely.

This is...this is wrong, it's quite, quite wrong, and I'm really sorry.

Please, will you come back and play again? It's been lovely to have you.

Stephanie and Emma, wonderful contestants.

-Thank you so much.

-Thank you.

But, for the remaining three pairs, it's time for round two.

And so three pairs remain. At the end of this round, we'll have to

say goodbye to another pair in time for our head-to-head round.

Anyway, best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for round two is...

The Oscars. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

-who's going to go second?

-THEY CHATTER

And, whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

-Oscar losers, Richard.

-On each pass,

we're looking for the names of six different actresses.

We're going to show you their initials and the name of a film for

which they were nominated for an Oscar.

None won, but they were all nominated, so, we're going to show

you the initials of an actress and a film they were in.

You just need to give us the name of the actress.

It's going to be 12 in all, so have a go at home. The very best of luck.

OK, thanks very much indeed.

We are looking for the actresses who missed out on Oscar wins for

these films and their initials are shown.

Here's our first board of six.

Now, Tessa, you will go first.

Um...

Um...

(Educating Rita?)

OK, I'll go for Educating Rita with Julie Walters.

"Julie Walters," says Tessa, for Educating Rita.

Let's see if that's right. How many people said, "Julie Walters."

It's right.

-60.

-Oh, wowee!

We'll discover in the context of the round how good a score that is,

-but that's not bad - 60.

-Yes, well played, Tessa.

Certainly a lot better than 100.

She was nominated for Billy Elliot, but Shirley MacLaine

won it in the year she was nominated for Educating Rita.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Stedman...

I haven't a clue.

Well, look at the initials and see if that...

I'm looking at the initials, I just don't get it.

Um, I'm going to go with Peyton Place...

I don't know if the name is right. Lana Turner?

"Lana Turner," says Stedman, "Lana Turner."

Let's see if that's right for Peyton Place.

If it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said, "Lana Turner."

It's right.

Wow. 12, Stedman!

That was either very cleverly found from the back of your mind,

-or immaculately guessed, but either way...

-It was just guessed.

Well, well done you. It's got you 12 points.

It was quite a guess if it was a guess. 1958 that nomination came.

Joanne Woodward won in that year.

Thanks. Now, Rustie, you're the last person to have this board.

If you fancied it, you could talk us down the board

and fill in the blanks for us.

RUSTIE LAUGHS

I don't fancy it, darling!

RUSTIE LAUGHS

What about Elizabeth?

Cate...

Blanchett?

OK, Cate Blanchett.

Let's see if that's right and,

if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said, "Cate Blanchett."

Absolutely right.

40.

At least I got something!

Very well done, Rustie. Cate Blanchett lands you 40.

Well played, Rustie. Yes, she lost out to Gwyneth Paltrow in that year.

Now, The Grifters. Who was in that? It was Anjelica Huston.

Well done if you said that. That would have scored ten points.

-The Graduate... Do you know that one?

-Anne Bancroft.

-Yeah, 29 points, and The Remains Of The Day?

-Emma Thompson.

-Emma Thompson, yeah, would have scored 19 points.

-Wow.

So, best answer on the board then, Anjelica Huston,

but Lana Turner not far off it.

-Stedman, well played.

-Yeah, well done.

We're halfway through the round, so let's take a look at those scores.

12, Stedman, very well done.

Best score of that pass by quite a margin, then up to 40 where we

find Rustie and Anne, then up to 60 where we find Tessa and Willie.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put six more films up on the board and here they come.

We have got...

Remember, we are looking for the actresses who missed out on an Oscar

and their initials are in brackets after the names of the film.

Anne, try and find the one you think the fewest of our 100 people knew.

You are on the cusp of one, I think, by the looks of things.

I've got her second name, but I haven't got her first. Yes, yes!

I think I'll go with it. Brief Encounter and Celia Johnson.

"Celia Johnson," says Anne.

Well, there you are on 40, the high scorers are Willie and Tessa on 60.

If you can get below that red line, you are through to the head-to-head.

Celia Johnson. How many people said that?

It's right.

Come on, come on, come on!

24.

24 is your total. At this stage, I think that's pretty good.

-I imagine that will see you through.

-Well played, Anne.

-Voted the most romantic film of all time...

-Absolutely.

..in 2013, Brief Encounter.

-Thanks very much indeed. Now, OK, Denise...

-Mm-hm.

I love my horror movies, so I'm probably going to go with

Carrie and I think it's Sissy Spacek.

"Sissy Spacek," says Denise.

OK, the high scorers are currently Anne and Rustie on 64.

You're on 12, so 51 or less gets you into the head-to-head.

Sissy Spacek, let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

And you are through. Very well done. 44.

44 takes your total up to 56, all very close at this stage.

Well played, Denise. Five Star are doing well.

I'm very impressed with that middle podium.

Lost to Faye Dunaway that year,

but won an Oscar for Coal Miner's Daughter a few years later.

-Thanks very much. Now, Willie...

-Yeah.

-The margin's a bit tight here.

The good news is I got further than John Virgo, Dennis Taylor

and John Parrott.

The bad news is I only know one, which is obviously going to be

a high score and we need a low score, so we're in trouble.

Either you can have fun and try

and have a shot at one of the ones you don't know...

Well, Fatal Attraction is Glenn Close,

but I don't know any of the other ones at all.

No, I'm sorry, I can only think of Fatal Attraction

and Glenn Close, but I know that's going to be high.

I don't know any of the others at all.

OK, you're going to say Glenn Close for Fatal Attraction.

-Here's your red line, quite low.

-Yes, thank you.

-< Just a bit!

-Oh, dear!

Let's find out is that right and how many people said Glenn Close?

Oh, Willie, I'm sorry. 64 - that is a high score there.

It takes your total up to 124.

Sorry, Willie, tough there with so few on the board.

Um, the MS you were searching for, it wouldn't have won you the points.

-It's Meryl Streep.

-Of course.

-Yeah, it would have scored 39.

Juno is the actress Ellen Page.

-Ah.

-Would have scored you 14.

Tumbleweeds would have done a job for you though,

cos that is Janet McTeer and would have scored you four points.

Very well done if you said that at home.

-That was a tough board, wasn't it?

-Yeah, that is tough.

Um, well, thanks very much indeed.

Well, I'm really sorry to say, at the end of our second round,

the pair who have to say goodbye to with their high score of 124

is Willie and Tessa.

-Bless you, darling.

-Oh, I'm sorry.

Nothing wrong with either of your answers.

-Just, they were high scorers.

-Very high.

But it's always really tough though, when you're on that last podium.

It's been wonderful having you on the show. Thank you for playing, Willie and Tessa.

-Thanks very much.

-Thank you.

Good luck.

But, for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Anne and Rustie, Stedman and Denise,

you are now one step closer to the final

and the chance to play for our jackpot, which,

at the end of this '80s special edition of the show, stands at...

We have to decide who's going to play for that money and,

to do that, you're going to go head-to-head,

but, the big difference is, you're now allowed to confer.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question and it concerns...

-We've both been on that.

-Spitting image - Richard.

We're going to show you five '80s puppets from the show

Spitting Image. Can you tell which people these puppets represent?

-The very best of luck.

-Thanks very much indeed.

OK, let's reveal our five puppets and here they come. We have got...

OK, now, Anne and Rustie, because you've played best throughout

-the show so far, you will go first.

-OK.

We've both been on Spitting Image.

We were half waiting for our puppets to come up.

RUSTIE LAUGHS

-Did you buy your puppets?

-Actually, I wasn't on it.

I'm sure you were, Rustie.

They melted me down and made somebody else out of me.

-And I'm sure they were lovely.

-Oh, yeah, really gorgeous.

-Well, we know...

-We've got to go for the more obscure one.

-Obscure.

Name the one you think the fewest of our 100 people knew.

-ANNE WHISPERS

-Go on, then.

Well, I think so. Do you agree?

I agree because we know...

RUSTIE WHISPERS

-Yeah.

-We'll go with D, Robin Day.

"Robin Day," say Anne and Rustie.

Now, Stedman and Denise, do you fancy talking us through the rest of

the board? Seeing how many of them you can name.

-Yeah, well, A is Barbra Streisand.

-B is...is it? B, B, B, B...

It's that snooker player, Steve...

-Oh, Steve Davis. Is it Steve Davis?

-I'm not going to tell you anything.

Um, Lloyd Webber, C. It's Lloyd Webber, I think.

Yeah, and E, I don't know who E is.

It's a sports presenter you said, right?

-Yeah, it's a sports presenter, but I can't remember...

-Is it a comedian?

Sports...presenter, but I don't know his name.

Steve Davis. Steve Davis.

Right, Anne and Rustie have said Robin Day.

Let's see if that's right and if it is let's see

how many people said Robin Day for D.

APPLAUSE

36.

36. Denise and Stedman have said that B is Steve Davis.

Let's see if that's right

and if it is how many of our 100 people said Steve Davis.

It's right.

Look at that. Wow.

APPLAUSE

Steve Davis.

Well, Steve Davis scores 15 which means, Denise

and Stedman, after one question you are up 1-0.

Spitting Image gave him his nickname, Steve "Interesting" Davis.

It came from a sketch in Spitting Image itself.

A, absolutely right, Stedman,

is Barbra Streisand.

It would have scored you 27 points.

C, I think everyone knew, is Andrew Lloyd Webber.

Big scorer though. It would have scored you 49.

I think, Anne and Rustie, you might know E.

-Yes.

-He was on the show with us.

-I thought he is so well known,

anyone who has loved football maybe it wouldn't be an obscure enough answer.

Go on tell us.

-No, you tell us who...?

-Jimmy Greaves. I'm sorry, Jimmy Greaves.

He would have scored you 28 points.

Thanks very much indeed.

Here comes your second question.

Anne and Rustie you have to win this one to stay in the game.

But the Denise and Stedman will answer first.

-OK, it concerns Beatles songs.

-You'll be good at this.

Beatles songs. Richard.

I'm going to show you the five titles of Beatles UK top 40 singles now,

but we're just going to show you the number of letters in each word.

Can you work out what the songs are?

OK thanks very much.

Let's reveal our coded Beatles titles and here they come.

I'll read those one last time.

Denise and Stedman, you will go first.

This is hard. Any ideas?

LAUGHTER

We can confer!

THEY WHISPER

-No. Oh, yeah. 4,2,2.

-4,2,2.

-Love Me Do.

-Love Me Do, say Denise and Stedman. Love Me Do.

Now then, Anne and Rustie, do you want to take us through as many of

the others as you can, or even just do some of your thinking out loud?

I think 6,6,2 must be Please Please Me.

-Is that yours?

-Number three down begins with A. A Hard... No.

Not Hard Day's Night. Ticket To Ride isn't there.

-Yesterday?

-No.

-Which one do you want to submit?

-Please Please Me at the top.

-OK, you're going to go with Please Please Me at the top.

So we have Love Me Do and we have Please Please Me.

Denise and Stedman said Love Me Do.

Let's see if that is right for the bottom one 4,2,2

and if it is let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

APPLAUSE

25. 25 for Love Me Do.

Anne and Rustie have said Please Please Me for 6,6,2.

Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said Please Please Me.

You have to win this one to stay in the game.

I know.

It's right.

But it has to go down lower than 25.

It's done it! Look at that.

Wow! 12 for Please Please Me.

Well done.

APPLAUSE

-Anne and Rustie, that's exactly what you needed it to be.

-Wow!

You're back in the game. After two questions it's 1-1.

Much tougher to work out from the letters, I think, Please Please Me.

Now the one in the middle that starts with 1,

you were trying to think of one starting with the word A.

-What you want really is a song that starts with the word I.

-I.

-A very famous Beatles song.

-I Love To...

-I've just got it!

-Love To...

-I Want To...

-Hold Your Hand!

-I Want To Hold Your Hand.

-That would have been 17 points.

-322. A lot of people would've got at home as well.

-Let it Be.

Let It Be.

Oh, crumbs. Of course.

That would have scored you 21.

The other one is a pointless answer.

Number one single from 1969, a pointless answer.

The Ballad Of John And Yoko.

Pointless answer so very, very well done if you said that at home.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. So here comes your third question.

This is the decider.

Whoever wins this one goes through to the final

and plays for the jackpot for their nominated charities.

Best of luck, both pairs. It concerns

Andy Warhol's Soup Can Flavours.

We're going to show you five flavours on Andy Warhol's famous soup cans

now, but we're leaving out alternate letters.

Can you fill in the gaps and tell us the names of these soups please?

Thanks very much indeed. OK, let's reveal our five soups.

And here they are.

I'll read those one last time.

Anne and Rustie, you will go first.

THEY WHISPER

-Shall we go with that?

-Clam chowder.

-Yes, that would be...

-That would be the top one.

-And that would be quite a difficult one for ordinary people to get.

-Yes.

We think the top one is clam chowder

and we'd like to go with that.

Clam chowder, say Anne and Rustie. Clam chowder.

-Now, Denise and Stedman,

-Um...yeah.

Talk us through the board if you can.

The second one down could be pepper pot.

-And the last one minestrone maybe.

-Not sure about the other two.

-What do you want to go for?

-Yes, pepper pot I think.

-Pepper pot. OK.

Denise and Stedman say pepper pot.

We have clamp chowder and we have pepper pot.

Anne and Rustie said clam chowder. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said clam chowder.

It's right.

Good answer. 17.

APPLAUSE

Could be good. 17 for clam chowder.

Now, Stedman and Denise, that's what you have to beat with pepper pot.

Let's see if it's right and if is let's see how

many of our 100 people said pepper pot.

This will decide who goes through to the final.

It's right.

Oh! 40 for pepper pot.

APPLAUSE

Which means, Anne and Rustie, very well done indeed.

After three questions you are through to the final 2-1.

Well played, both teams there. Good head-to-head.

Let's take a look at the bottom one - the bottom one's the biggest scorer.

Minestrone.

Would have scored you 60 points.

Now, the other two - the first word is "green".

-Green pea?

-It is green pea, yeah, rather than green tea.

I think you could have had one or the other.

12 points, it would have scored you.

-And the other one is chicken.

-Yeah.

-That's for sure.

-What's the second word?

-What is it?

Chicken gumbo.

-ALL:

-Ahh!

-Yes!

-For one point.

Chicken gumbo, one point. Very well done if you said that at home.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

So, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

I'm very sorry to say, is Denise and Stedman.

But what a heroic performance.

-Thank you.

-Fantastically done, the whole way through.

APPLAUSE

Um, but I'm afraid...

you were just pipped by Anne and Rustie,

which means we have to say goodbye to you.

-It's been wonderful having you on the show.

-Thank you for having us.

Stedman and Denise, wonderful contestants.

But for Anne and Rustie it's now time for the Pointless final.

Congratulations Anne and Rustie.

You fought off all the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

-Yeah!

-Yes!

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

and at the end of today's show the jackpot stands at £2,500.

Ah.

You have done so well. Rustie, last time you were on,

-Round One.

-Yes!

-This time, bring Anne along...

Anne's my lucky charm, she's wonderful.

-There we are.

-Absolutely brilliant.

-Darling!

-She's got a brain like...

-Oh, what?

-Britain.

-Careful.

-Very careful, you are setting me up for a disaster.

-Oh, dear!

It's you that won the last one, it's you that got the lowest score.

Because it's the final, and because they and because they knack,

-I'm going to take these off.

-Yeah, take them off.

-Those are going to go there.

-We think you're beautiful, anyway.

Thank you.

LAUGHTER

-It's a look that has to come back.

-Do you think?

-I think so, yeah.

You're kind.

Well... Maybe not.

Now, listen, as always, you kick this round off by choosing

the category you want, and you have four options.

Here they come.

-I like Royal Family.

-So do I.

-Oh, good.

Hollywood Eds?

-Eds... We've got to choose three?

-No, just one.

-Oh, one?!

-Just one category.

-Oh, than is, then. Royal Family.

-I think we go Royal.

-Yeah.

-I thought we had to choose three!

-No, no.

So, Royal Family. You've got three different options, now.

Take your answers from any of the questions I'm about to show you.

We're looking for any of Queen Elizabeth II's children,

grandchildren or great-grandchildren, or anyone they've married.

So, the name of any of her descendants

and anyone they've married.

We're looking for any of the places visited by the Royal

Family during the diamond jubilee, so as part of those celebrations,

any country, any crown-dependency,

any British overseas territory they visited.

Er, or any designers of the wedding dresses at any of the royal weddings

of Queen Elizabeth's children,

grandchildren or great-grandchildren, which hasn't happened yet.

Er, so we're looking for any of Queen Elizabeth II's children,

grandchildren or great-grandchildren or their spouses,

places visited by the royal family during the diamond jubilee,

or any wedding dress designer for a royal

wedding of Queen Elizabeth II's descendants.

Very, very best of luck.

-OK. So...

-Thanks very much indeed.

Now, as always, you've got up to one minute

to come up with three answers,

and all you need to win that jackpot for your charities

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

Now, the answers you give can come from any of these categories,

and how you spread them across the categories is entirely down to you.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

-Yes.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

-OK, wedding designers, we've got...

-The Emanuels.

-The Emanuels,

and Hartnell.

-Yes.

-Hartnell for the Queen.

And what about the latest?

The latest one everyone's going to know,

although I'm not sure of the name just now.

We've got... What is it? Is it Robert Hartnell?

-Norman Hartnell.

-Norman Hartnell.

-Yeah.

-Er...

-Um... Elizabeth, Anne...

And her spouses - that hopefully is something we all know.

-Elizabeth... Queen Elizabeth descendants and their spouses.

-Yes.

-So, you've got Prince...

-Andrew?

-Fergie, you've got Charles and Diana...

-Yes.

You've got Charles and Camilla. You've got Edward and Sophie...

-Edward and Sophie.

-Who have we missed out?

-She's got three children.

-Four children!

-Four children.

Princess Anne, of course.

-Princess Anne and Mark Phillips, and the other... Captain...

-Captain...

-Lieutenant...

-Five seconds left.

-Something... Well, shall we go for one of each?

-Yes.

No, we didn't cover anything...

OK, that's now your time up, I now need your three answers.

-What are you going to give me?

-OK, so, we're going for the designers?

The Emanuels, definitely, then.

Because everybody's going to know that.

-OK, go for the Emanuels.

-OK, the Emanuels.

-Should we go with...?

-Go for Captain Timothy Laurence.

-Captain Timothy Laurence.

I may have got his rank wrong. Does that make a difference?

-Timothy Laurence.

-Timothy Laurence.

-Captain...

-As one of the spouses.

-And another spouse - shall we go for...?

-Go with Prince Edward's...

-Sophie.

-Sophie.

-And S...

-The Countess of Wessex.

-Countess of Wessex.

Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer,

do you imagine?

-Um...Countess of Wessex.

-No, I'd say Timothy Laurence.

Oh, Timothy Laurence.

I think people automatically think Princess Anne's married

to Mark Phillips and they may not be quite up to date.

Timothy Laurence we'll put last.

-Now, what's your least likely to be pointless?

-Um, definitely Emanuels.

-Emanuels.

-The Emanuels, we'll put them first.

-And Sophie in the middle.

-So famous, Diana's dress.

We'll just pop those up on the board in that order. We have got...

Very best of luck. Your first answer was the Emanuels.

In this case we were looking for wedding dress designers

of any of the Queen's descendants.

-You thought this was probably your least likely to be pointless.

-Yes.

But remember, only one of these has to be pointless for you to

win that money for your charities. What are you charities?

-Anne, what's you charity?

-Mine is The Lullaby Trust.

It's the new name for the Foundation for the Study of Infant Death,

which is obviously raising a lot of money for research into cot death.

Um, which sadly happened to me. It's called The Lullaby Trust nowadays.

-The Lullaby Trust.

-APPLAUSE

Mine is the Akamba Children's Education Fund.

We look after 1,000 children, we feed and educate them in Africa.

-APPLAUSE

-Very good, well...

Two excellent charities there.

Let's hope one of these answers will win that jackpot for your charities.

OK, so we were looking for designers of wedding

dresses of descendants of the Queen. You have said the Emanuels.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it.

It has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot.

It's the top, right at the top.

For £2,500. Is it pointless, the Emanuels?

Well, it's right.

-I don't think that was in contention.

-Slowing down...

Down it goes. If this goes all the way down to zero,

you leave here with £2,500. Down...

Right, 28.

-Surprisingly low.

-I'm surprised.

I thought it would be higher.

28, unfortunately not a pointless answer,

which means you only have two more shots at today's jackpot.

You next answer was Sophie the Countess of Wessex.

We were looking for descendants of the Queen or their spouses.

Let's see if this is right... I think we know it's right.

-Let's see how many people said it.

-Hope so!

If it's pointless, it will win you £2,500.

How many people said Sophie, Countess of Wessex?

Well, it's right.

Your first answer was the Emanuels, which took you down to 28.

Well, you've passed that with Sophie, Countess of Wessex.

-Down it goes!

-Come on!

-Still going down, look at that!

Oh, one!

Oh, no!

-Wow.

-That is...

-Wow!

That is...

One point for Sophie, Countess of Wessex.

Oh, it's looking very good for the next answer, I think, isn't it?

So, everything is now riding on your last answer,

which I think is a cracker,

particularly in light of that score.

Timothy Laurence.

Again, this has to be correct,

and it has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot.

So, for £2,500, let's find out

if Timothy Laurence is married to one of the Queen's descendants.

It is right.

Now, your first answer, David and Elizabeth Emanuel,

took us down to 28.

Your second answer, Sophie, Countess of Wessex, took us to one.

Timothy Laurence now, still going down...

You've done it! Very well done indeed.

Brilliant.

-Oh, my God! Oh, my...

-That's brilliant. Well done.

Oh, fantastic.

-Yay!

-Superb, congratulations.

-Very well said, Timothy Laurence.

-Not a numpty now!

My son said that I was a numpty. Not a numpty now!

Oh, very well done.

Well, it was a pointless answer, it means you leave here

with £2,500 for your charities, so very, very well done.

Amazing!

APPLAUSE

Brilliantly played, very well done.

What a lovely end to our '80s special.

Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers

in all the different categories.

The Queen's descendants and her spouses - Autumn Kelly,

who married Peter Phillips, would have been a pointless answer.

Timothy Laurence, there you go.

Mike Tindall, who married Zara Phillips,

-was a pointless answer.

-Of course!

And James, Viscount Severn, who of course is Sophie

and Prince Edward's son.

Also Louise, their daughter, was a pointless answer as well.

Some of the places visited by the royal family,

Malta, Sweden, Bahamas, Tuvalu - an old Pointless favourite, there.

You could also have also had Uganda, Trinidad and Tobago,

St Vincent and the Grenadines - all of those were pointless answers.

Well done if you said those.

Dress designers -

Lindka Cierach, she designed Fergie's wedding dress.

Robinson Valentine designed Camilla's.

Sassi Holford, that was Autumn Kelly,

and Zara Phillips' dress was designed by Stewart Parvin,

very well done if you said any of those at home.

Thanks very much.

Well, thanks once again to our winning players,

Anne and Rustie,

who go away with today's jackpot of £2,500 for their charities.

APPLAUSE

Join us next time,

when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.