Episode 14 Pointless Celebrities

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and a very warm welcome

to this special music edition of Pointless Celebrities

The game where you're always searching

for the lowest possible score.

Let's meet today's Pointless Celebrities.

And couple number one...

My name is Dave Bartram,

I'm the good-looking lead singer from Showaddywaddy.

-Ah!

-Well, used to be anyway.

That's right, and I am from Slade, you know,

that song you all love, and I play lead guitar.

Hi!

APPLAUSE

And couple number two...

Hi, I'm Carol Decker, lead singer with T'Pau

and you may remember me from songs such as China In Your Hand.

Thank you.

And I'm Limahl and the clue is in the hair.

APPLAUSE

And couple number three.

Hello, I'm Toyah Willcox, the rock singer with a lisp.

-LAUGHTER

-And I'm Mark King, singer and bass player with Level 42.

APPLAUSE

And finally, couple number four.

I'm Antony Costa and I'm in the band Blue.

And I'm Scott Robinson and I'm in the band Five.

APPLAUSE

And these are today's contestants. Thanks very much, all of you.

We'll find out more about each of you as the show goes along.

So that just leaves one more person for me in introduce -

so clever he can patronise you in eight different languages,

it's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

APPLAUSE Hiya. Hi, everybody.

-Good evening.

-And to you, good evening.

-Oh, what a great line-up, look at this.

-Look at that!

Between them, sold over 40 million records worldwide, how about that?

If you include us two as well, that is over 40 million records worldwide.

Top ten singles in the last five decades as well.

-It's quite something.

-It's quite a scary thought.

And we've got a few people who have been on before.

On that last podium, Antony and Scott have both been on before

but with different people.

Scott did rather well with Richie from Five. Antony...

Knocked out in Round One last time.

Yes, I'm back for revenge.

Oh, don't say that now, you've just, aw....

-LAUGHTER

-He's going to go out, first round again.

Scott was like, "You're a jinx, you're a jinx..."

We'll find out very quickly, Antony, if you are a jinx.

-I'm sure you're not.

-I hope I'm not.

-I'm sure.

You are...

Thanks very much, Richard.

All our questions on Pointless have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants are looking for those obscure answers our 100 people didn't get.

Everyone's trying to find a pointless answer,

an answer that none of our 100 people gave

and each time that happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Now as today's show is a celebrity special,

each of our celebrities is playing for a nominated charity.

We start off with a jackpot of....

APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

OK, now, the pair with the highest score at the end of each round

will be eliminated so do everything you can to make sure that's not you.

OK, our first category today is...

The Olympics. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please, step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

..as they could.

Nations at the 2014 Winter Olympics.

-Richard.

-We are looking for the name of any nation,

other than Great Britain and Northern Ireland,

who had at least one participant at the Winter Olympics at Sochi in 2014, please.

So any nation that had at least one participant in the Winter Olympics.

Very, very best of luck.

OK, thank you very much indeed.

Now then, Dave Hill, welcome to Pointless.

It's fabulous to have you here.

Now you are still touring with Slade, aren't you?

-You still perform together.

-Absolutely, yeah.

We play all across the world to thousands of people.

I've been doing it... I've probably been doing it...

Somebody said to me, "How long is, what's your longest tour?"

And I said, "I'm still on it!"

It's all about a good feel entertainment that Slade do

which, believe it or not, across Russia and places like that,

I didn't realise, we were so popular

until I decided to continue, which has now been probably 45 years.

So, quick question for you. Who wrote Merry Christmas Everybody?

Who's credited as the writer?

-Er, Holder and Lea.

-Noddy and Jim, yeah.

Holder and Lea is...

Noddy's the singer, obviously, and the bass player.

Right you are, there you are, that's your...

-They're the ones with the larger heads.

-..that's what you do.

-OK, now then, Dave.

-Yes.

-The Winter Olympics.

We're looking for the nations that competed in the Sochi Winter Olympics.

Yeah.

-Er... Russia.

-Russia, says Dave Hill. Let's see if that's right...

I have a hunch it might be right,

but let's see how many of our 100 people said Russia.

It is indeed... Ooh, look at that.

-Yeah, sorry about that.

-82 for Russia.

APPLAUSE

That's what we define on this show as "a safe answer."

-Yeah, it was a safe answer but...

-It's a correct answer.

It's better than 100.

It's better than 100.

They won 33 medals. All of their gold medallists got given a £90,000 car.

-Fitted with winter tyres, one imagines.

-You would hope so.

OK, thanks very much indeed, Richard.

-Carol, great to have you here. Here's my question to you.

-Sure.

T'Pau...

What does that mean?

T'Pau was a character in the original Star Trek series

-and she was Mr Spock's paternal grandmother.

-Nicely, succinctly put.

Sat on the intergalactic council,

but I'm not a Trekkie anorak or anything...

She sat on the intergalactic...

Sadly, though she didn't get elected mayoress

so she stood down shortly afterwards.

But we could have been called Klingon so I think I made the right choice.

I think, yes, I think you probably did.

What are you up to at the moment, Carol?

Touring, like Dave, just never stop doing the live work at all

and everybody just so loves the '80s.

We're national treasures, I've got to say.

So, thank you, everybody, because we're out there, working, gigging, all the time.

It was the time to be in your industry, wasn't it?

It was, halcyon days, absolutely.

-So, Carol, did you watch any of the Winter Olympics?

-I did, yes. A lot.

Might sound obscure,

but I think I heard a bit of a Cool Runnings thing when I was watching the Winter Olympics.

-I'm going to go for Jamaica.

-Jamaica.

OK, let's find out if that's right and if it is, let's see how many people said Jamaica.

It's absolutely right, Carol.

There's a great answer.

APPLAUSE

Very well done indeed.

Yeah, they sent a two-man bob to Sochi after the four-man bob

which Cool Runnings was based on.

-We've got a two-man Dave on podium one.

-Two-man Dave.

That's better than a two-man bob.

GROANING

-Yeah.

-Awful.

-I wasn't expecting that...

No, it's good. I was almost about to come back and say,

"And they're going downhill faster" but that's not true.

Ooh, that got a groan as well!

Now, Toyah, welcome back.

Now, Toyah, in your career, you've been a very serious actress,

-I say very serious, a proper actress.

-I'm very serious now.

A proper actress, singer, you've been a producer, an author...

-There's something else as well, I'm sure.

-I'm the voice of Teletubbies.

No!

-Are you really?

-I'm the beginning and closing voice of Teletubbies.

-Did you know that?

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-You see, he knew that.

-I didn't know that.

-But my kids are a bit older than Xander's kids.

-OK.

Of all those things, is there any particular area you look back and

think, "Oh, that was my favourite, favourite thing to do," or...?

No, I worked with Katharine Hepburn when I was 19, 20

and that was absolutely extraordinary. She was fantastic.

But I'm enjoying life today.

I'm doing 60 dates in the UK, I'm in the USA next month and touring the West Coast,

I charted with my American band two weeks ago,

and I'm doing a film with Steve Oram at the moment as well

so I'm hopping across the pond all the time and just loving today.

Brilliant.

Good for you, well, let's make today even better with a nice low score.

Did you watch any of the Winter Olympics?

I did but I'm worried that I'm going to get confused with the Paralympics

but I have an answer for you

and I hope that it's very low down there.

-What's it going to be?

-Kiev.

Kiev, says Toyah.

Let's see if that's right

and let's see how many of our 100 people said Kiev.

Oh, no.

I was wrong.

I'm sorry, I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer

and scores you 100 points, I'm sorry.

Kiev, not a country, I'm afraid. It's a city.

I just remember...I thought they sent one person

or that particular country sent one person.

No, that country sent lots of people but...

Kiev is not...

a country...

-OK, now, Antony. Welcome back.

-Thank you.

-Welcome back, Round One last time.

-Yeah, I know. I'm nervous now.

Oh, you and lovely Liz McClarnon were on together.

Now then, Antony, what are you up to at the moment?

You and Blue are back together, aren't you?

Yeah, we're back together.

We did three tours last year. Back end of last year,

worked with Scott, and we toured with Wet Wet Wet as well,

so no, we've done all right.

And hopefully doing more tours this year as well.

But you've been getting back into theatre as well,

you've been doing a bit of musical theatre

since the high days of Blue, you did Blood Brothers.

-I was in Blood Brothers, yeah.

-And Boogie Nights as well.

-Yeah.

Boogie Nights, yeah, so I've done a few bits.

I am a trained actor from when I was a kid

so I love to go back into my first love.

-Well, nice to keep a foot in each camp.

-Yeah, definitely.

Well, there we are, Winter Olympics.

You must have watched a bit of the Winter Olympics, Antony.

-Yeah...

-LAUGHTER

I'm going to go...

Austria.

Austria says Antony.

Let's see if Austria's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said Austria.

It's right.

Well, it passed 82.

Look at that!

APPLAUSE

-Yeah!

-I'm so buzzing!

-That's the second best score of the round.

I'm buzzing!

-For Austria?

-Yeah, one of the great Winter Olympic nations.

They were the best Alpine skiers as well, Austria.

I have to say, on the way back, the four of you,

there's an awful lot of obscure answers.

A lot of obscure answers. We haven't heard any of them yet.

-I don't care, I'm so buzzing.

-Oh, no, that's absolutely fine.

We're halfway through the round,

let's take a look at the scores as they stand.

25, Carol, very well done, 25.

Then from 25 we go up to 26 where we find Antony and Scott.

Then up to 82 where we find the Double Daves,

then up to 100 where we find Toyah and Mark.

Only 18 ahead there, Mark.

We're going to need a nice low score from you to keep you in the game

so get thinking now. Best of luck with that.

We're going to come back down the line. Can the second players please step up to the podium?

Scott.

Now, remember, we're looking for the nations

that competed in the 2014 Winter Olympics at Sochi.

Now, Scott, head-to-head last time.

When people come back on the normal run of Pointless,

and they've been in the head-to-head,

they're always favourites to be finalists.

You've got to fancy your chances.

-I haven't got a clue.

-Oh, I don't believe that.

-I didn't watch it.

-Really?

-Really didn't watch it.

OK, just while you're thinking, tell us

what's happening with Five at the moment.

We are pretty much the same as what Blue are doing,

we're doing some summer shows this year,

we're still together, we're still working hard.

OK, will you be recording new stuff at all?

Not at the moment,

we're still umm-ing and ahh-ing about whether it's right.

We know the fans want it

but we need to be in the right headspace to do it.

Otherwise we're not doing it for the right reasons, you know?

But it's going really well and we're really happy

so just keep on working.

Good stuff. Well, best of luck with that.

Now, the high scorers at the moment, Toyah and Mark on 100.

26 is your score, lovely low score from Antony there,

no-one more surprised than Antony.

73 or less gets you into the second round.

I'm just going to say a random place.

And I'm going to say...

Sweden.

Sweden. Sweden, OK. There's your red line.

Get below that, you're in the next round.

How many of our 100 people said Sweden?

Absolutely right.

And good enough to see you through, look at that.

APPLAUSE

74 is your total.

-Phew!

-Whoo hoo!

-Yeah, well done, Scott. Safe and sound.

They've appeared at every single Winter Olympics, the Swedes.

I know that. I know you know that, I was just explaining for other people.

I'm just playing with you, it makes it more fun.

ANTONY LAUGHING I know you don't want to show off.

"No, I don't know, I'm so confused - Sweden!"

I've seen you interviewed about Sweden and Swedish sport,

and biathlon, stuff like that, you know your stuff.

-I've got a podcast about Sweden.

-It's how I learnt everything I know about Sweden.

And Scott, of course, hosts it.

-The other guys, they're not bad, are they?

-They're not great but...

Everyone knows who's the best in this band. It's me.

ANTONY LAUGHING

Look at Antony, laughing with agreement there.

Thanks very much. Now, Mark.

Mark, we have a job here.

We have a job to do. Welcome to the show, Mark. Lovely to have you here.

Am I right in thinking that you were a drummer

-before you were ever a bassist?

-Yes, yeah, absolutely.

I still like to think I am a drummer,

I just drum on the bass guitar, so...

Of course, you invented the thumb slap, didn't you?

Well, I didn't invent it, but it's something that I love to do.

The other thing you invented was playing...

Because if you think of all the levels,

down here you've got Sid Vicious.

Playing down here, we'll call that Level 1.

Up here, Level 42, there we are.

But no, you do, it was quite a high thing.

That's Gerry And The Pacemakers up there, like that.

-Yeah, exactly, same thing.

-You can sometimes barely see them.

But it was the fashionable thing at the time.

I think if you look at a lot of the bass players from the early '80s,

everybody was playing really high up.

Now, also, Mark, you had your thumbs insured at one point...

-Well, just this one, I think.

-Just the one?

-Yeah, just the one.

For hitchhiking!

-Anything you were banned from doing with your thumb?

-No.

I'm going to be hailing a cab very soon.

-Did you say it was insured for three million?

-I believe so.

-It was, yeah.

It was insured for that.

Polydor Records, at the height, thought it was a good thing to do.

I think it might have been just a good story to run with,

as well, with the papers, but it was insured.

Now, then, Mark. OK, it has to be a low score.

There's two things I want to say, but I think I'm going to pop for Greenland.

-Greenland, says Mark.

-Ooh!

-Greenland, OK.

Let's find out if that's right.

No red line for you, as you are the high scorers.

Let's see how many people said Greenland.

-Ooh, no!

-Taxi!

There's that thumb again.

So, yes, I'm afraid that's another 100 points,

-takes your total up to 200, I'm sorry.

-Sorry, Mark.

It's a valiant effort, actually, Greenland.

They compete under the guise of another country at the Winter Olympics.

-Do they?

-Yeah, well, because it's not a country

and it belongs to another country who I won't mention.

Limahl, welcome to the show.

Can I just commend you and Carol for putting all...

-That's the right amount of work.

-Completely unplanned.

He phoned me up and said, "Are you wearing long?"

-I said, "No, I'm not wearing long..."

-There was no phone call.

-Really.

-Yeah, yeah. Nice, powder blue.

-We look like we're going to a wedding.

-You do!

Now, Limahl, of course, maybe everyone else knows this

but I wasn't actually aware, is an anagram of your surname.

It is.

Illham.

THEY LAUGH

At the height of the success, I also had two companies and so I thought,

"Well, I'll be clever." So I had Hillam Music and Lamhil Music.

And then there was Limahl,

so my accountant gave me a really hard time. Very confusing.

Those companies have since gone, thankfully.

What are you up to at the moment? We enjoyed you on I'm A Celebrity.

What's amusing you right now?

This and that.

Same as everybody else, you know,

I feel really lucky that the '80s are really popular around the world.

Too Shy and The Neverending Story were number one everywhere,

including number five in America, so I keep getting the calls.

Thankfully, the phone keeps ringing.

And every year, I don't know where I'm going to go.

I end up in the most obscure places

and I'm sure they'll all tell you, it's kind of fabulous.

-Excellent.

-We get paid to go.

-Think of one of them now.

Yes, obviously...

Given that you're already through,

why not try and find a pointless answer? Go on.

Go on, Limahl, go on.

OK, Malta.

-Now that is obscure, isn't it?

-LAUGHTER

I tell you what, that is...

Oh, please, please, that is brilliant.

No red line for you because you're already through, but let's see...

How the Maltese team did at the Sochi Winter Olympics.

-It's right!

-Wow!

It's going down, Limahl.

Down it goes, still going down!

-Well done, you.

-APPLAUSE

Of course it doesn't mean anything...

One takes your total up to 26.

Earns you my eternal respect.

-That is fantastic.

-Do we get, like, a bonus prize or something?

Well played, that's exactly the right thing to do.

They only had one person who went to the Winter Olympics,

and it was their debut, but...

-Very impressive. More like it, isn't it?

-Yeah.

Very good.

Now then, Dave B, Dave Bartram. Great to have you here.

Now, the frontman of Showaddywaddy.

-Yes.

-Do you know, when I was growing up, Showaddywaddy ...

The Osmonds might have not bothered getting out of bed.

Showaddywaddy was just it, that was it. The big, big band.

And you've been touring with them...

-for years and years and years, but no longer.

-I did 38 years.

-38 years!

-Served my apprenticeship.

-Yeah. And when did you stop?

I stopped at the end of 2011

but I'd been managing the band as well since 1984 so...

Have you stopped managing as well?

No, I'm still doing the management side but I'm writing books

and doing all sorts of things that I've wanted to do for so many years now.

Now, Dave, Winter Olympics. Take a leaf out of Limahl's book.

There'll be plenty of pointless answers there.

And if Malta can send a team to the Winter Olympics, frankly anyone can.

So a nice obscure country.

Um... I'll go for Andorra.

Andorra, says Dave B.

No red line for you as you're already through

but let's see how many of our 100 people said Andorra.

It's right!

That's a good one, mate.

It's a pointless answer, that's exactly what we needed, Dave.

-APPLAUSE

-Very well done indeed.

That adds £250 to today's jackpot, take the total up to...

It scores you nothing, it leaves your total at 82.

-Very well done indeed.

-Brilliant, Dave, very well played.

They've appeared at every Winter Olympics since 1976.

There's lots and lots of countries in here.

Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers.

There's the very first one, Andorra. Well done.

Iran was a pointless answer, Liechtenstein was a pointless answer.

..would have been a pointless answer.

Paraguay, their first Winter Olympics actually.

Turkey was a pointless answer, would have been a very good one,

Venezuela... Other pointless answers you could have said,

Armenia, Cayman Islands, Former Yugoslav Republic Of Macedonia,

Israel, Lebanon was a pointless answer, believe it or not.

Let's take a look at the top three answers. One of these will be familiar, Dave.

In third...

And there's Russia, Russian Federation, right at the top.

-That's a popular one.

-Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So at the end of our first round, the pair heading home, I'm afraid,

with an unbeatable high score of 200, is Mark and Toyah.

You've only just got here, I'm so sorry to be sending you away.

It's been such a treat to have you.

I am in such trouble with my geography teacher.

-Kiev is the capital of Ukraine...

-That's what I meant to say!

-Could we go back?

-Yeah, why not?

LAUGHTER And Greenland is a dependant territory of Denmark

-so they compete as Denmark unfortunately.

-OK.

I didn't know that.

Well, Mark and Toyah, I'm sorry to be saying goodbye so soon, but

it's been wonderful having you.

-Thank you so much for playing. Mark and Toyah!

-APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And so three pairs remain.

Obviously at the end of this round, we will have to say goodbye

to another pair in time for the head-to-head.

-Congratulations all round. Antony...

-Buzzing.

-You're in Round Two, what about that?

-I'm so happy.

Whatever happens now, I don't mind.

Limahl, congratulations to you for stepping off the beaten track

and going with Malta.

And Dave B...

Just fantastic, sublime performance there, a pointless answer.

-Very, very well done.

-Nothing to lose.

Well, I guess you didn't, but still...

Respect.

Best of luck to all three pairs, our category for Round Two is...

Languages. Can you all decide

who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Italian words for food and drink, Richard.

On each board, we're going to show you six Italian words

for different types of food or drink.

You just need to tell us what they are in English, please.

There's going to be six on each board, 12 in all to have a go at.

Best of luck.

OK, so we're looking for the English translations

of these Italian terms and here's our first board of six.

We have...

-Are you having a laugh?!

-There you go.

Dave... Hill.

Erm...

-I don't know. The top one.

-OK.

-Haven't got a clue.

-LAUGHTER

Is that cheese, formaggio?

OK, you're going to say cheese for il formaggio.

Let's see if that's right and let's see how many people said cheese.

-It's right.

-Well, that's a surprise.

-APPLAUSE

-You got there, mate.

-I don't know how I got there.

56 for cheese.

Yeah, well played, Dave. Il formaggio.

-Quattro formaggio being a very popular pizza.

-Very cheesy.

-Yes.

-Yeah.

-That means "four cheeses."

-Well, there you are.

And the formaggio bit of that is the cheese.

-Yeah.

-The quattro is the four.

And the pizza is the rest.

OK.

Hmm.

Hmm...

Limahl.

-Any of those leaping out at you, Limahl?

-Yeah. Actually.

I'm going to go for il burro, which I believe is butter.

Il burro, butter, says Limahl.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said butter.

-It's right.

-Well done.

56 is our low score at the moment, you've passed that.

Still going down, 21 for butter.

-Very well done.

-APPLAUSE

Good work, Limahl, 21.

Terrific answer, Limahl, very well played.

They're starting to say now that butter is better for you

than margarine. They said for years that margarine was,

but now scientists say butter is.

Yeah. Butter. Hmm.

Now then, Antony. The board is all yours.

I wish it weren't.

Just go down and just see if anything comes to mind.

Yeah, there's a few that I've obviously seen in Italian restaurants,

I just don't take no notice of it so, um...

I'm going to say la cipolla...

Sausage.

-Sounds right, doesn't it?

-I don't know.

La cipolla, let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said sausage.

Oh, no. I'm sorry, Antony. Not a sausage.

-Does sound like it should be a sausage.

-Chipolata...

We'll take this up with the Italians later,

but that, I'm afraid is incorrect, scores you 100 points.

-Oh, that's ridiculous!

-It is ridiculous.

-CAROL: Really intelligent guess.

-I'm a musician,

I don't speak anything...

That's very unlucky. It does sound like a sausage.

I bet some people at home said that.

There's one slightly easy one on the board, il pane is bread.

Would have scored you 30. The others are pretty hard, I have to say.

La cipolla is an onion.

Is lecca-lecca milk?

Lecca-lecca is not milk, you would think it was because of leche,

exactly, actually lecca-lecca translates as "lick-lick",

and it's a lollipop.

And it's a pointless answer.

-Wow. I'd have got that wrong then.

-Il lecca-lecca...

Il succo d'arancia is orange juice.

And that would have scored 23 points.

There you go, well, a tough board there.

We're halfway through the round, let's take a look at the scores.

21, the best score of that pass, Limahl and Carol,

that puts you at the top of the table.

Then up to 56 where we find Double Dave.

And then up to 100, I'm afraid, Antony and Scott.

Listen, you will get first dibs on the next board

so find a nice low-scoring one that you know

and let's hope it's enough to keep you in the game.

It may be. We're going to come back.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, we're going to put six more Italian words on the board

and here they are.

We have...

I'll read those all one last time.

Now, remember, we're looking for the English translations

of these Italian food and drink items.

Scott, you have to find one that's right and that you know

and that you think will be a low scorer.

I'm going to start off by saying, you done well.

-And I'm still proud of you.

-ANTONY LAUGHING

-Shall we just go now?

-All right.

I can't even say it. The one that starts with "la".

-Which one?

-The bottom.

Second from bottom.

And I'm going to go, exactly what Antony said,

I think it sounds like sausage.

-So I'm going to say sausage.

-La salsiccia.

Sausage. No red line for you as you're the high scorers.

Let's find out, la salsiccia, is that a sausage?

How many people said it?

It is a sausage, Scott.

-Come on!

-Very, very well done indeed, still going down....

-APPLAUSE

-Look at that.

Very well done, 108 your total.

You might have just kept yourselves in the game, very well done.

Yeah, well played, Scott.

They were banned in Italy in the 4th century by the Catholic church, eating sausages was a sin.

-That's right.

-I can see why.

I've seen Italian sausages.

You have, as well.

Now, Carol, Carol. 21.

Very well done, Limahl, lovely low-scoring in the first pass there.

High scorers at the moment, Scott and Antony, 108.

If you can score 86 or less, you're in the head-to-head round.

OK.

I'm going to be a bit brave and risk our score

and go for one that might be a bit more obscure.

I think l'ananas is...

pineapple.

Pineapple. Pineapple, l'ananas.

Here's your red line. Get below that, you are in the head-to-head.

Is l'ananas a pineapple, and if it is, how many people said it?

It's right and you are through to the next round, very well done.

-APPLAUSE

-Well done, darling.

55 is your total, very, very well done.

-Excellent performance.

-I speak Italian, who knew?

Yeah, very good answer.

-Speak French as well, because it's the same word French.

-Oui.

Now then, Dave B.

Dave B, you are the last person to have this board.

If you fancied it, you could talk us through all of it.

There's a couple that I think I know but the two answers,

la mela and il miele, are very similar.

One of them's certainly honey.

The one at the bottom is ice cream, il gelato.

Pomodoro, I'm not sure of that.

Um, I'll go for il miele, honey.

OK, il miele, honey.

Here's your red line.

If you can get below that red line, you are in the head-to-head.

Let's find out. Is il miele honey?

And if it is, how many people said it?

It's right.

You've done it!

Very well done, 22 for honey.

-APPLAUSE

-78, your total. You are in the head-to-head.

Terrific answer, Dave. Dave's good, isn't he?

Now, let's look through the rest of these.

-Il pomodoro?

-Tomato.

-Is tomato, yes. 30 points for that.

La mela?

-Ooh...

-Is an apple.

The best answer on the board as well, would have scored 4.

And I think most people knew, il gelato is ice cream.

That's the biggest scorer, would have scored 61.

If you'd said that, Dave, would have had you knocked out.

You did very well with honey.

Thanks very much indeed.

So at the end of our second round, the pair who are heading home

with their high score of 108, I'm really sorry, it's Scott and Antony.

You've met exactly halfway.

Antony was out first round last time,

Scott was out in the head-to-head, this time, Round Two.

-Oh, I'm sorry.

-Gutted.

-Wounded.

-Devoed.

Anyway, it's been a real pleasure having you here,

thank you so much for coming and playing. Come back and play again.

-We will.

-Scott and Antony!

-APPLAUSE

But for Limahl and Carol, Dave and Dave,

it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Limahl and Carol, Dave and Dave,

you are now one step closer to the final

and that chance to play for our jackpot

which currently stands at...

APPLAUSE

So this is the point where we decide who gets to play for that jackpot,

and to do that, you're going to go head-to-head

but you're now allowed to confer before you give your answers.

And the first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Well, this promises to by a humdinger of a head-to-head.

Best of luck to both pairs, let's play it.

OK, here comes your first question and it concerns...

-1980s TV theme tunes, Richard.

-We're going to play you five TV theme tunes

of shows that started in the '80s.

Can you name the most obscure of these? Good luck.

OK, so let's reveal our five theme tunes from the 1980s

and here they are, we've got...

A.

SOFT OBOE MUSIC

B.

RHYTHMIC DRUMMING

TWINKLY MUSIC

-(Obvious.)

-(No?)

-(No...)

C.

FAST PIANO MUSIC

STRINGS ACCOMPANYING

(Must be some kind of antiques programme?)

D.

GENTLE INTRODUCTION

FAST FLUTE AND HARPSICHORD

All of the afternoon programmes, aren't they?

And E.

DRAMATIC SYNTH MUSIC

OK. Now, there they all are.

Limahl and Carol, you've played best throughout the show so far

so you will go first.

-Carol.

-OK.

-D, Lovejoy.

-Lovejoy.

Lovejoy, say Limahl and Carol. Now, Double Dave.

-I would hate to get 100 so shall we go for B, EastEnders?

-Yeah, yeah.

Well, we know that one, don't we?

It's probably the obvious one, I'm afraid.

It's going to be around 90 but... I'm afraid it's B, EastEnders.

B, EastEnders. So Limahl and Carol have said that D was Lovejoy.

Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Lovejoy.

It's right.

Oh, it's a good answer, look at that.

-Very well done indeed.

-APPLAUSE

10 for Lovejoy.

Daves B and H have said that B was EastEnders.

Let's see if B is EastEnders. Let's see how many people said it.

It's right!

-It's not bad.

-APPLAUSE

-Better than I thought.

-Better than it might have been.

Very well done, that means Limahl and Carol after one question,

-you are up, 1-0.

-Yeah, Lovejoy, a terrific answer, well played.

Now, let's have a little listen to the rest of these and say what they are.

There's only one answer that would have beaten Lovejoy and it's A and it is...

-CAROL:

-Is it Rumpole?

-It's not.

-Sounds like it.

-It is...

-Brideshead Revisited.

-Oh!

Would have scored 8 points.

-We never watched that.

-No, that was too posh for me.

-Now, C.

C, I knew for a fact, I thought, "I've got this one."

This is Ever Decreasing Circles, but it's not.

Let's have a little listen. FAST PIANO MUSIC

-CAROL:

-Can't I say it?

-Miss Marple.

-Murder She Wrote!

Carol, absolutely right. Would have scored you 38 points.

And E.

-CAROL:

-Fat coppers.

-It's... Fat coppers! The Bill.

-The Bill, yeah.

-And that would have scored 60 points. DAVE H:

-Oh, The Bill!

They're not fat...

Thanks very much indeed. OK, here comes your second question.

The Daves, you get to answer this one first

-but you have to win it to stay in the game.

-It's not more horrible...

Is it more daft programmes we don't know a thing about?

Let's find out what it is. It concerns...

Oh, men in skirts? All right...

Men in skirts, Richard?

We're going to show you five pictures now of men wearing skirts,

you just have to tell us who those men are and pick the most obscure.

OK, let's reveal our five men in skirts, and here they come.

We've got...

There we are, five men in skirts.

Double Dave, you'll go first.

(Adrian Chiles?)

-E. Adrian Chiles.

-Adrian Chiles.

E, Adrian Chiles.

E, Adrian Chiles.

Now then, Limahl and Carol, do you fancy talking us

through the rest of the board and seeing how far you get?

-Um... We know that B is...

-Jean-Paul Gaultier.

-C is Eddie Izzard.

We think that D is Alex James from Blur.

So we think we're going to go with that for D.

-Alex James, we'll take the risk.

-Alex James, OK. Alex James.

Now, Dave and Dave have said Adrian Chiles for E,

let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many people said Adrian Chiles.

It is right.

-Not a bad score there, 33 for Adrian Chiles.

-APPLAUSE

Now, Limahl and Carol have said that D is Alex James.

Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many people said Alex James.

(You have to take risks in life.)

Oh, I'm afraid it's not Alex James, which means, very well done,

Dave and Dave, you're back in the game.

You've done exactly what you needed to do. After two questions, it's one all.

Yeah, D is actually Dougie Poynter from McFly.

The bassist from McFly, I'm afraid.

And would have scored you 4 points.

But, you would have been in the final if you'd said B, you knew the answer.

Jean-Paul Gaultier.

And he would have scored you 14 points,

would have been a terrific answer.

Now, A,

as I'm sure all sorts of people at home would like to know,

it's Marc Jacobs.

1 point.

A terrific answer. And C, I think everyone knows, is Eddie Izzard.

And he would have scored 64 points.

Thanks very much indeed. So it comes down to your third question.

This is the decider.

Whoever wins this goes through to the final and plays for the jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs. It concerns...

Where's Toyah when you need her?

She's behind you.

-GROANING

-Oh, no she's not...

We're going to give you the titles of five popular traditional pantomimes now

but in anagram form.

Can you unscramble them and give us the best answer?

My mind's too slow...

OK, let's reveal our five anagrams and here they come, we've got...

Limahl and Carol will go first.

Oh, my God...

Knitting With Cod?

Do you want to go for the one second from the bottom?

-Second from the bottom we're going to go for.

-Come on, you do it.

-It's your brains.

-Cinderella.

OK, you're going to say Cinderella for Lend Eclair.

Cinderella.

Now then, Double Dave. Can you talk us through the rest of the board?

So, the top one is quite easy, Aladdin.

Not sure we know any others apart from Cinderella,

but the bottom one,

which I think is going to be our answer, is Dick Whittington.

Dick Whittington. I hadn't got that one.

Very good, OK, so we have Cinderella vs Dick Whittington.

Limahl and Carol said Cinderella for Lend Eclair.

Let's see if that's right and let's see how many people said Cinderella.

It's right.

-APPLAUSE

-I think you're going to get it. I think you're going to get it...

That's clever, that is. That is clever.

Now, Dave and Dave have said Knitting With Cod is

Dick Whittington.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said Dick Whittington.

It's right.

And you're in the final, very, very well done, Dave and Dave.

APPLAUSE

Very well done.

After three questions, Double Dave are through to the final, 2-1.

Well played, Double Dave.

There's only one answer up there that would have beaten that.

It's not the top one, that is Aladdin.

But would have scored you 90 points.

The second one would have also scored too many points.

Do you know that one, Xander?

-Oh, of course!

-Jack And The Beanstalk.

I nearly said that, I'm such an idiot.

Would have scored 35 points anyway, would have scored too many.

Would have been a good answer though.

And Ugly Beaten Pies is the best answer up there,

the only answer that would have won the point and it's...

-Sleeping Beauty.

-Sleeping Beauty, yeah, that's a tough one.

-Would have scored 13.

-I can't, I just can't see it.

Thanks very much indeed.

So the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head,

a heroic performance up to... No, even including this point.

-Brilliant account you've made of yourselves.

-We've loved it.

Well, come back and play again, but thanks, Limahl and Carol,

-it's been fabulous having you on the show.

-APPLAUSE

Good luck.

But for Dave and Dave, it's now time for our Pointless Final.

Congratulations, Dave B and Dave H,

you've seen off all the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

for your charities, which currently stands at...

APPLAUSE

Well, you had our only pointless answer throughout the whole show.

You brought it back from 1-0 down in the head-to-head.

Very, very well done.

As always you get to choose your category for this last round.

You have four options to choose from. We have got...

Novels is a bit hairy. I fall asleep reading books at night.

-HE LAUGHS

-Go for cricket in 2013...

-Yeah.

-OK, cricket, 2013-14. Richard.

Three different options here.

If you know your cricket, Dave, you could be in luck here.

Fingers crossed, we are looking for...

The name of any team in the 2013 Indian Premier League.

We need any of the 2013/14 T20 Australian Big Bash League teams.

Or, we need any player

who played in the Ashes Test between England and Australia,

the Australian leg of it, in 2013-2014, please.

Very best of luck.

OK, you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers and all you need to win that jackpot

for your charities is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

Are you ready?

-Er...as ready as we'll ever be.

-Yeah.

OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock, there they are.

Your time starts now.

There's obviously Alastair Cook who was the skipper.

-So we'll say that one.

-Kevin Pietersen who...

Probably his last ever tour for England.

Erm... Who was the wicket keeper?

Jimmy Anderson.

Erm... Star bowler, erm...

Need somebody obscure.

I'm just trying to think. I'm having a blank.

Drawing a blank here. Erm...

Opening bats.

Cook and...

..Woakes?

Maybe? Er...

Trying to think who came in on the late Tests.

Bring up Parkinson.

-Trying to think, trying to think of who...

-Ten seconds left.

Bairstow.

OK, that's your time up. I now need your three answers.

Ashes players, England in Australia 2013-14.

-I'll play safe with Alastair Cook.

-Alastair Cook.

-Jonny Bairstow.

-Jonny Bairstow.

-And I'll go for Ravi Bopara.

-Ooh, that's a good one.

-Ravi Bopara.

OK, of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-I would have said Bopara.

-OK, Ravi Bopara we will put last.

Least likely to be pointless? Cook, OK, we'll put him first.

Pop those answers up on the board in that order and here they are,

we've got...

Well, very, very best of luck.

Three good-looking answers up there on the board.

Let's hope at least one of those is pointless.

If one of those is, you will win that jackpot for your charities.

What are your charities, Dave? Dave B?

Mine is Silver Star Diabetes Awareness.

-And Dave H?

-Taveners, Lord's Taveners,

they raise money for special needs.

I used to work with special needs children teaching music

a few years ago, so I had a connection.

And I joined the Taveners.

-Excellent, well, two brilliant charities there.

-APPLAUSE

Well, fingers crossed, at least one of these answer will be pointless

so you can take that money back to those brilliant charities.

Best of luck, as I say. Your first answer was Alastair Cook.

You thought this was probably the least likely to be pointless, the captain.

Let's find out if it's right,

let's find out if it's pointless, for £2,750.

How many people named Alastair Cook

as a player in the 2013 Ashes in Australia.

Well, it's right.

-I think that probably wasn't in doubt.

-It's not a surprise.

It has to be pointless though for you to win that jackpot.

Through the thirties, through the twenties into the teens,

still going down, single figures...

APPLAUSE

-I'm amazed.

-That is low, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-Yeah, it is low.

-Wow.

-First name on the sheet.

-I know, what's he got to do?

There we are, well, the captain only scored 7.

Your next answer was Jonny Bairstow.

Again, this has to be right,

then it has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot, so for £2,750.

Let's see how many people said Jonny Bairstow.

Again, it's a good answer.

Your first answer, Alastair Cook, took us all the way down to 7.

Jonny Bairstow now taking us down through the twenties

and the teens, into single figures,

-and you've done it! Look at that!

-CHEERING

Very well done indeed, you have won.

-Brilliant.

-Fantastic.

-Superb.

Very well done indeed.

That is fantastic, congratulations.

Jonny Bairstow was a pointless answer,

which means you go home with that jackpot of £2,750 for your charities.

-That is superb.

-APPLAUSE

Very, very well done.

Amazing stuff, very well played. You played brilliantly throughout.

It's 45 minutes ago that Dave was giving us

Russia as a country participating in the Winter Olympics and...

-Yeah, that was a trick!

-To imagine you... It worked!

-It was obvious.

Ravi Bopara didn't play in the Tests, played in the Twenty20

so would have been an incorrect answer.

Chris Woakes, I think you were thinking of as well, but he also didn't play in the Tests.

There's some very, very big pointless answers on the Test match ones

but let's have a look at the other ones first.

So for the IPL...

All of those were pointless answers.

In fact everything

apart from the Delhi Daredevils and the King's 11 Punjab

were pointless answers so all the other teams were pointless.

Here's the Australian one...

Again, very few points there.

The Sydney Sixers, the Hobart Hurricanes and the Melbourne Stars

were the only one who scored any points so everything else was pointless, well done if you said one.

Let's take a look at some of these.

The biggest run scorer in the series, David Warner was a pointless answer.

There's Jonny Bairstow. The England opener, Michael Carberry.

Michael Clarke who was the Australian Captain, beat us 5-0.

I think that's our hundred people going,

"I can't remember, no, I don't remember.

"Someone or other. Dave Something, I can't remember..."

You also could have had Boyd Rankin,

Brad Haddin, Chris Rogers, Chris Tremlett, Gary Ballance.

Could have had Peter Siddle, Ryan Harris,

Scott Borthwick and Steve Smith.

All of them were pointless answers.

Great category for you, congratulations. Two great charities.

-It's been a pleasure having you on the show.

-Thank you.

-Yeah, thank you.

Well, thanks once again to our winning players, Dave and Dave,

who go away with today's jackpot of £2,750 for their charities.

-Very well done.

-APPLAUSE

Join us next time, when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me, goodbye.