Episode 1 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless.

This is the quiz show where all the questions have been asked to 100 people before the show,

and all our contestants have to do is come up with the answers those 100 people couldn't think of.

Let's meet today's players.

-Couple number 1.

-I'm Matt and this is my friend James and we're both from Sutton Coldfield.

-Couple number 2.

-I'm Simon from Dartford and this is Becky from Sevenoaks and we're work colleagues.

-Couple number 3.

-I'm Richard and this is my wife Jane and we're from Rutland.

-And finally couple number 4.

-I'm Leah, this is my best friend Ellen and we're from Belfast.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks, all of you. We'll find out more about you throughout the show as it goes along.

So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

It's a man who is to answers what Jeremy Paxman is to questions,

but only 80% as terrifying.

-It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-Hiya.

Hi, everybody.

-Good afternoon.

-And to you.

-Oh, what a great show last time!

-Very good.

-A great jackpot round.

We had Paul and Rebecca, didn't we, who were terrific throughout.

And we've got three returning pairs from that show as well.

We've got Richard and Jane who were very, very strong last time, got through toe the head-to-head.

We've also got Ellen and Leah who we saw less of, I think it's fair to say, didn't we?

We didn't see much of you but we saw a lot of points.

But they were in the 200 Club last time.

This first round, this first question, it's one of those ones that...

I don't know, it's sort of trickier than it looks.

OK. Thanks very much.

Now, all our questions on Pointless have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants here need to find the obscure answers those 100 people didn't get.

Now, what everyone's trying to do, of course, is find a pointless answer,

that's an answer that none of our 100 people gave,

and each time that happens we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Now, Rebeccah and Paul didn't win the jackpot last time, so we add another £1,000 to that,

so today's jackpot starts off at...

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

Now, in this first round, I want an answer from each of you but I don't want anybody to be conferring.

At the end of the round, whichever pair has the highest score will be heading home.

OK, our category for round 1 today is...

Film. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, please, step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Actor-director collaborations. Richard?

Yeah, quite often you get directors who work with the same actors time and time and time again,

and that's what this round is about. In a moment, Xander's going to show you five pairs of names.

We're looking for any feature film made for cinema release

for which the first name on the list was the director and the second name on the list was the actor.

Very best of luck.

OK, so we'd like the name of any film on which these pairs of actors and directors collaborated.

Now, this board's going to stay the same the whole way through the round,

so it'll be up the line and back down the line, it'll be the same board.

OK. And the five pairs are...

I'll read those one last time.

There we are. Five pairs.

The first a director, the second an actor.

Now, Matt, welcome back to the show. What happened last time?

Oh, I made a terrible mistake. I've regretted it ever since.

Oh, yes, you picked France as a host of the Grand Prix in 2013. It's just not true, Matt!

Anyway, now, Matt and James, you all drew lots before the show and today you're going to go first, obviously.

-Film, is that a good area for you?

-Yeah, I'd say so, yes. I think so.

-And you're feeling happy about this even now you can see the board?

-I think so.

-Good.

-I think I'll be all right on this one.

-OK, good.

So I'll say the Tim Burton and Johnny Depp,

I'll go with Sweeney Todd.

Sweeney Todd says Matt. Good answer.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 said Sweeney Todd.

It's right.

Very well done.

Good answer. 16 for Sweeney Todd.

Yes, Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street.

-Johnny Depp played the title role.

-Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Now, then, Becky, welcome to Pointless.

-Our only new pair today.

-Yeah.

-What do you do, Becky?

I'm a sports development officer.

And when you're not doing that, what do you like to get up to, Becky?

Well, I like to play football, I like to read...

I like to shop...

-shopping's one of my biggest hobbies.

-Do you like to watch films?

I do like to watch films, but, yeah... I've got one which I think...

-so I'm just going to go for the one that I think.

-OK.

That's the Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe and I think it's Gladiator.

OK, you're going to say Gladiator for Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe.

Let's see if Gladiator's right, let's see how many people said Gladiator.

-Phew!

-It's right.

APPLAUSE

-Well done.

-He's right. A lot better than 100.

Yeah, a lot better than 100, Becky.

Yeah, Gladiator, Russell Crowe of course plays the gladiator of the title.

Very good. Now, then, Richard...

Last time, tell us what happened.

-We got undone by David Hasselhoff.

-Yes, and it's happened to better people than us!

-Didn't know anything about him.

-Yeah, and that's enormously to your credit, I have to say.

-I think so.

Now, Richard, what are you going to go for?

I've got two in my head, but I think I'll go for the Alfred Hitchcock and James Stewart film

and I think they collaborated on Vertigo.

You're going to go for Vertigo for Alfred Hitchcock and James Stewart.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said Vertigo.

A good answer. Still not as good as yours, Matt. 23 for Vertigo.

Yeah, not a critical or commercial success when it first came out,

but Sight & Sound every ten years do the critics' list of the best movies of all time

and for the first time in 50 years Citizen Kane just got knocked off the top by Vertigo.

-Really?

-As the best film of all time.

-Wow!

-Yeah.

-Thanks very much. Now, then, Leah, welcome back. Now, it was round 1 last time.

-Yeah.

-The 200 Club!

-Yes, 200 Club in round 1.

-That is not going to happen this time.

-Hopefully not.

-Now, remind us what you do, Leah.

-I'm a student studying health and social care.

Leah, what are you going to go for?

I'm going to say Tim Burton and Johnny Depp, Alice In Wonderland.

Alice In Wonderland says Leah. Alice In Wonderland.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said that.

It's right.

Well, 53's our high score. You whizz past that.

Very well done.

29 for Alice In Wonderland.

Yeah, he plays the Mad Hatter in that.

Apparently he perfected his Scottish accent by watching old episodes of Rab C Nesbitt, Johnny Depp.

-That's one way of doing it, certainly.

-Yeah, really.

-Thanks very much indeed.

We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at the scores.

Matt, nobody has beaten you, nobody!

You are the best so far. 16, looking very strong indeed.

Then we travel up to 23 where we find Richard and Jane,

up to 29 where we find Leah and Ellen,

and then it's a bit of a hike to 53 where we find you, Simon and Becky.

So, Simon, yes, we need a low-scoring answer from you.

We'll have to hope that's enough to keep you in the game.

Back down the line now. Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK, now, Ellen, we are looking for the name of any film

on which these pairs of actors and directors collaborated.

OK. Now, remind us what you do.

-I'm a mechanical engineering student.

-And what are your hobbies?

I try to play hockey and I play the guitar.

OK. Good. Now what are you going to go for on this board?

I'm also going to go with Tim Burton and Johnny Depp and say The Corpse Bride.

-The Corpse Bride.

-Yeah.

-There is your red line.

If you get below that red line, you'll avoid becoming the new high scorers.

The high scorers at the moment on 53, Simon and Becky.

Let's see how many people of our 100 people said The Corpse Bride.

It's right.

Oh, it's a good answer! Look at that. Very well done.

APPLAUSE

The lowest score of the round so far, Ellen. Very well done indeed.

Very well played. 2005 animation, The Corpse Bride, also starring Helena Bonham Carter,

as so many of his films do.

-Thanks very much indeed. Now, Jane...

-Yeah, not a good round.

-Really?

-Not a good topic at all for me.

-Oh, dear. Well, it's the first time we've been halfway through a round

-and you and Richard haven't been the lowest scorers.

-I think we might get 100 on this one.

-No, no, no! Do you not watch films at all, Jane?

-No. Well...

-Really?

Is that on principle or do you just find you don't?

-I just don't. I haven't watched a film for about two years.

-Ooh!

I might just have to go for a film that I know an actor is in

and go for Nightmare Before Christmas and hope that Johnny Depp was in that.

Nightmare Before Christmas says Jane.

The high scorers still Simon and Becky on 53. You're on 23. 29 is what you want to be scoring.

The Nightmare Before Christmas. How many people said it?

Oh, bad luck, Jane. I'm sorry to say that's an incorrect answer.

Scores you the maximum of 100 points,

takes your total up to 123.

Yeah, sorry, Jane. I'm afraid Johnny Depp wasn't in it

-and Tim Burton didn't direct it.

-Oh, didn't he?

Other than that, it's exemplary. Well, at least neither of them were in it.

Thanks very much, Richard. Now, Simon...

-Hello.

-Simon, welcome to Pointless. Simon, what do you do?

-I'm a partnership and project officer for Sevenoaks Council.

-And that means what?

Well, it's a made-up title, really, but I deal with arts, leisure, community grants,

the voluntary sector... I just grease wheels and make sure it all works seamlessly.

Very good indeed. Now, Simon, we want the name of any film on which these pairs have collaborated.

-I'm going to go for a Tim Burton and Johnny Depp.

-OK.

And I'm going to go for Ed Wood.

Great film. There is your red line, Simon.

The highest scorers are Jane and Richard.

You are on 53. If you can score 69 or less, you're in the next round.

How many of our 100 people said Ed Wood?

It's right.

-Yes!

-You are through to the next round.

APPLAUSE

That takes your total up to 56.

Yeah, well done. Supposed to be the worst movie director of all time, Ed Wood,

-played by Johnny Depp in that film.

-Thanks very much indeed.

-Now, James...

-Hello.

-James, you are through to the next round. This is great news.

This is great news. Even if you score 100 points, you are through to the next round.

Now, then, tell us a bit more about yourself, James.

I currently work for the Civil Service but I used to work for...

Let's be honest, let's say what it is. You're a tax inspector.

-Correct.

-What do you do with your spare time, James?

I really like travelling across the world.

-Every time I go to a famous monument such as the Pyramids...

-You keep the receipts?

I keep the receipts. I travel round the world and do a big star jump in front of the big sights.

I'm collecting an album of photos of me star-jumping through the world.

It'll be like a little book that you flick through with me doing this

-throughout all these different monuments.

-Do you want to do a star jump on the Pointless set?

-If you want me to, I can.

-I do want you to. Go on. I'll show you how it's done.

You must be...you must be...

You must be getting very fit.

It makes me lose a few pounds.

Good stuff. Now, then, James, what are you going to go for?

I'm definitely going to play it safe. Well, I shouldn't play it safe really...

but Tim Burton and Johnny Depp, I do like all their collaborations.

I'm torn between Edward Scissorhands or Charlie And The Chocolate Factory.

I'm going to go for the older film of the two and go for Edward Scissorhands, I think.

Edward Scissorhands. So, James, let's see if it's right. No red line for you. You're already through.

Let's how many people said Edward Scissorhands.

It's right.

30 takes your total up to 46.

Yeah, from 1990 and once again Johnny Depp plays the title character there.

There's not that many pointless answers here.

Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers, though.

Body Of Lies which is a Russell Crowe and Ridley Scott film.

Interiors and Love And Death which are both Woody Allen and Diane Keaton.

Both of those would have been pointless. Very well done if you said either of those.

Radio Days, that's another Diane Keaton and Woody Allen film,

and Martin Scorsese and Robert de Niro, The King Of Comedy

which is really a brilliant film if you haven't seen it.

It's a pointless answer, though. There's a few other lower scorers.

Play It Again, Sam, Woody Allen and Diane Keaton would have scored you 1.

Manhattan Murder Mystery would have scored you 2 points.

Tim Burton and Johnny Depp, the best answer for was Dark Shadows which would have scored you 2.

Ed Wood actually the second-best answer in that category, so well played, Simon, on that one.

Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe, American Gangster would have scored you 1,

A Good Year would have scored you 3.

And Alfred Hitchcock and James Stewart.

The best answer you could have had would have been The Man Who Knew Too Much and Rope,

both of those would have scored you 4.

Well done if you said those. Now, the top three answers, we've heard all three of them already, actually.

Leah gave us the third one.

James gave us number 2.

And Becky got the best answer and the worst answer with that one.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So at the end of our first round, I'm afraid the pair heading home is Jane and Richard.

You were the low scorers in the whole of our last Pointless show,

and I'm afraid this time out you go in round 1.

But as ever a real pleasure having you on the show.

-Thank you so much for playing. Jane and Richard.

-Thank you.

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for round 2.

And so only three pairs remain.

Well, what a first round that was. Ellen and Leah, very well done. Very well done indeed.

Two good solid answers there.

Simon and Becky, you had the lowest score and the highest score on that podium.

And, Matt and James, we had a star jump, so that's great.

OK, we've got another star jump here for you to add to your collection. Here we are.

Hey! There you go!

-There you are!

-That's brilliant, thank you.

Very good. Now, then...

Best of luck to all three pairs. Our category for round 2 is...

History.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Figures Of The Eighteenth Century, Richard.

We're going to show six clues on each pass that will lead you to the name of somebody

who was prominent and active during the 1700s, during the 18th century.

You just need to give us who it was, please. There's going to be 12 in all to have a go at at home.

Thanks very much indeed. OK, let's reveal our first board of six clues, and here they are.

I'll read those one last time.

There we are, six clues to six famous people from the 1700s.

-Now, James...

-OK.

-How's that board to you, is that all right?

The first one that came up, I've actually been to his house quite recently.

I hope it's right. He lives in... he used to live in Lichfield.

And I believe the author of the English language was Samuel Johnson.

For a moment, I thought you'd gone round and his mum had made some tea for you.

I was going to say!

Right, OK, Samuel Johnson says James.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is let's see how many of our 100 people said Samuel Johnson.

It's a good answer. Well done, James.

23. Not bad at all, James.

Yeah, he worked for nine years on that dictionary.

It wasn't the very first dictionary, but probably the most important at the time.

-Of course to generations of us he's now Robbie Coltrane in Blackadder the Third.

-Of course.

-Yeah.

-Do you think there's an online version of that dictionary?

Dr Johnson's dictionary? Imagine if we did our rounds ending in just using Dr Johnson's dictionary!

I'm just wondering, I bet throughfare's probably in there.

-You think throughfare's in Dr Johnson's dictionary?

-I don't know.

Xander the other day came up with a word that didn't exist and he's never let it lie since!

Words ending -are and he said throughfare.

And he's absolutely fuming. He doesn't look it, but he's fuming.

So perhaps it's in Dr Johnson's. Perhaps if we were doing an 18th-century Pointless...

Yeah, maybe. Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

-Now, Simon...

-Mmm...

-Simon...how are we feeling about these historical figures?

Not brilliant, but I'm going to go for Benjamin Franklin as the inventor of the lightning rod.

Benjamin Franklin says Simon. Benjamin Franklin credited with inventing the lightning rod.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is let's see how many of our 100 people said Franklin.

It's absolutely right.

23 our only score so far.

You've passed that. Very well done, Simon.

Good answer.

Well played, Simon. One of the founding fathers of the United States, Benjamin Franklin.

Also invented bifocals.

-What a busy man.

-Yes, a busy man.

-That's impressive.

Lived in England for a while. There's a Blue Plaque to him in Craven Street in London.

Oh? There we are.

Now, Ellen, we'd like you to name the people described by these clues.

That board is all yours. Do you want to talk us through it?

I haven't got any idea.

-I'm just going to guess a composer I know, Richard Wagner.

-Which one's that?

-The composer of The Goldberg Variations.

-The Goldberg Variations, Richard Wagner says Ellen.

Richard Wagner.

Well, let's see if that's right, and if it is let's see how many of our 100 people said Richard Wagner.

Oh, bad luck, Ellen.

I'm afraid an incorrect answer scores you the maximum of 100 points.

Sorry, Ellen. Do you want to have a go at The Goldberg Variations?

-Bach.

-It is Bach, yeah.

-Sorry, I should say Johann Sebastian Bach.

Johann Sebastian Bach, yeah. That would have scored 9 points.

Talking of composers, the title character of the 1984 film Amadeus...

-Mozart.

-Yeah, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.

Would have scored you 56. Do you know the economist who wrote Wealth Of Nations?

-Adam Smith.

-Adam Smith, yeah.

20 points. And the best answer on the board, the philosopher who wrote A Treatise Of Human Nature?

That's a tough one that. Very well done at home if you said David Hume.

That's the best answer up there, would have scored 8 points.

Thanks very much indeed. OK, well, we're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at those scores.

17 the best score of that pass, Simon. Very well done.

Simon and Becky having a pretty good hold on this, I would say.

Then up to 23 where we find James and Matt.

Then I'm afraid it's a long hike up to 100 where we find Ellen and Leah.

Now, Leah, you'll have first pick of the next board, so use it wisely.

Find a really good low-scoring answer and it may be enough to keep you in the game.

I'd be very surprised if that's the only 100 scored in this round.

Back down the line now. Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK, we're going to put six more clues on the board and here they come.

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are, six clues to six famous people from the 18th century.

Now, Leah, we need you to name the one you think the fewest of our 100 people knew.

Er...I think I only know one which would be the British admiral.

And I think it's...

..Nelson, but I don't even know his first name of anything, so...

OK. We will take Nelson. Let's see if that's right, and if it is let's see how many people said it.

There's no red line for you because you're the highest scorers,

but let's see how many people said Nelson.

It's right.

Oh, that's a high score.

84. Takes your total up to 184.

It's a big score, yeah, Horatio Nelson.

He had his arm amputated in battle in 1797. He was back issuing orders within half an hour.

-Wow!

-That's got the...

-Yeah, yeah.

Thanks very much indeed.

Now, Becky...

I haven't got a clue.

I shouldn't laugh, really, should I?

-Well, listen, I've got great news for you, Becky. You are through to the head-to-head.

-That's true,

that is true. Er... I really haven't got a clue, so...

The author of the novel Tom Jones, I will say Tom Jones

because he could have wrote it himself, so let's go for that!

There we go, yeah. So Tom Jones.

You're thinking more of a sort of autobiography, you're thinking?

It could have been. Like, not Tom Jones, but...

yeah...

OK. Listen, Tom Jones, let's see if that was written indeed by Tom Jones. Tom Jones.

You haven't got a red line because you're already through.

Bad luck!

I'm afraid an incorrect answer, which scores you the maximum of 100 points

and takes your total up to 117.

Yes, unlucky, Becky. There it is.

Of course, the singer Tom Jones has written a book about Tom Jones.

Matt...listen, you're the last person to have this board

and it is almost untouched.

Why not take us through it and fill in all the blanks?

I think it might remain untouched, unfortunately.

So I'm just going to guess the artist who painted The Swing is Vincent van Gogh.

It's not going brilliantly well this round, is it? I've got to be honest with you.

Vincent van Gogh says Matt. You're already through.

There's no red line for you, but let's see how many of our 100 people said Vincent van Gogh.

Oh, bad luck. Er, no. That's an incorrect answer. Scores you the maximum of 100 points,

takes your total up to 123.

-We should probably forget about this round as soon as we possibly can, shouldn't we?

-Mm-hm.

The artist who painted The Swing, it's in the Wallace Collection in London, that painting,

is Jean-Honore Fragonard.

Would have scored you 4 points, a terrific answer if you got it.

Now the author of the novel Tom Jones wasn't Tom Jones, I'm afraid, it was Henry Fielding.

-Henry Fielding wrote that novel.

-Really?

-Would have scored you...

Really nearly, it was so close.

Cos it's got a man's first name and then a surname, which is what you gave us as well.

-Tom...Henry...

-I know. Exactly. In fact, you know what? You can have it, you can have it.

-That's fine.

-Yeah.

The Italian violin maker, what would you guess for that?

-Stradivarius.

-Stradivari, Stradivari.

That would have scored you 35 points.

-Who wrote Jerusalem?

-William Blake.

-Yeah, Blake, William Blake, absolutely.

That's another fairly big score at 18. You'd have thought more people would know that.

And the author of the Rape Of The Lock?

-Alexander Pope.

-It is Alexander Pope, very will done.

That would have scored you 9 points. Very well done if you did well on those two boards, though.

-Quite tough.

-Thanks very much indeed.

So at the end of our second round, I'm afraid, it's Ellen and Leah, I'm afraid...

yes, 18th century figures caught up with you there. 184 your high score.

I'm afraid we have to say goodbye to you, but it's been lovely having you on the show.

-Thank you so much for playing both shows.

-Thank you.

Too brief in each instance, but lovely all the same.

-Leah and Ellen, thanks very much.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for the head-to-head.

Congratulations, Matt and James, Simon and Becky.

You are one step closer to the final and the chance to play for our jackpot

which currently stands at...

Now, to decide which pair's going to play for that money,

you're now going to go head-to-head, but the big difference is you are now allowed to confer,

and the first pair to win two questions will be playing for the jackpot.

Well, Matt and James, it was out round 2 last time.

So here you are, welcome, welcome to the head-to-head.

Not just to the head-to-head, but as our lowest scorers.

Very well done indeed. Simon and Becky, also well done.

-Good news, Becky, you can now confer!

-Yes!

In the rounds we've had so far, Simon's been doing the heavy lifting, I'd say!

We'll put all that behind us. I think this might be a very close head-to-head.

Good luck to both pairs. Let's play it.

Here comes your first question, and it concerns...

Famous Redheads. Richard?

I'm going to show you five pictures now of famous people with red hair.

Can you name the most obscure of these? Good luck.

Thanks very much indeed. Let's reveal our five famous redheads, and here they are.

We've got...

There we are, five famous redheads.

Matt and James, you've played best throughout the show so far so you get to go first.

THEY CONFER

OK, we're going to go for D.

We think she's the singer in Girls Aloud, therefore Nicola Roberts.

Nicola Roberts say Matt and James. Nicola Roberts.

Simon and Becky, the board is yours.

What do you think?

Er, I definitely know C, Rupert Grint.

B...she is...

I really recognise her face. I don't know whether she did radio... No?

-No?

-Don't look at me.

-Do you know A or E?

-No.

We'll have to go with C, then.

-You don't know A or E's names?

-No.

-Well, go for C.

Yeah. Can we go for C? Rupert Grint.

C, Rupert Grint say Simon and Becky.

So we have Nicola Roberts versus Rupert Grint.

Matt and James said Nicola Roberts, let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people of our 100 people said Nicola Roberts.

It's right.

28 for Nicola Roberts.

Simon and Becky have gone for Rupert Grint.

C, Rupert Grint. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is let's see how many of our people said Rupert Grint.

It's right.

40 for Rupert Grint.

Not too bad.

Well done, Matt and James. After one question, you are up 1-0.

Those were the two biggest answers up there, actually, so let's fill in the rest of them.

A is the US talk-show host, he's a writer, producer, all sorts of things, Conan O'Brien.

Would have scored you 3 points.

Now, B who you recognised, Becky, is Florence out of Florence And The Machine, Florence Welch.

Would have scored you 18 points.

And E is the other guy who won a gold medal on Super Saturday.

It's the long jumper Greg Rutherford.

And he would have scored you 9 points.

Thanks very much indeed. So here comes your second question.

Simon and Becky, you get to answer this first, but you have to win it to stay in the game. Good luck.

It concerns...

Newcastle, Richard.

I'm going to show you five clues to facts about the city of Newcastle.

Can you answer these, please?

OK, let's reveal our five clues to facts about Newcastle. And here they are.

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are, five clues to facts about Newcastle.

Simon and Becky, you go first.

THEY CONFER

I should know this one.

I'm actually quite scared to say it.

I'm just going to go for it. Magpies.

-OK.

-That's the Newcastle...

-OK, you're going to say the Magpies.

-Why were so scared to say it?

-Because...

-It might be wrong!

-I'm a sports development officer.

-Obviously, I should have known Greg Rutherford!

-Ah!

-And now it's another sports question...

and also, as I like football a lot, this is why I'm really worried.

-Well, you're going to say the Magpies.

-Yes.

-The Magpies is the nickname for Newcastle United.

Now, Matt and James, what are you going to say?

I would love to visit Newcastle actually. I was going to do it later this year,

and if I'd been I'd probably have visited the bridge and I'd know the date,

-cos I try and memorise the dates of things.

-You've got to go up there and do a star jump on the bridge.

That's exactly what I'm going for actually.

I was torn between Newcastle's nickname which I think they've got right...

so I'm going to take a shot at the '90s BBC police drama and go for... Crocodile Shoes.

Crocodile Shoes you're going to say, Crocodile Shoes.

So we have the Magpies versus Crocodile Shoes. Simon and Becky have gone for the Magpies.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is let's see how many of our 100 people said the Magpies.

It's right.

Matt and James have gone for Crocodile Shoes.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is let's see how many of our 100 people said Crocodile Shoes.

Oh, bad luck, Matt and James. An incorrect answer,

which means Simon and Becky are back in the game. After 2 questions it's 1-1.

Yeah, Crocodile Shoes, it was Jimmy Nail but that was about a country singer.

-The cop drama was Spender.

-Spender. Yeah.

-Would have scored you 11 points.

Did you know the name of the half marathon?

-Great North Run.

-It was the Great North Run, yeah.

It's actually a slightly better score than Magpies. It would have scored you 52 points.

The year the Tyne Bridge was officially opened, that was 1928.

Well done if you said that. Only two people out of 100 knew that.

Even better answer, a pointless answer in fact,

the name of the largest independent library outside London.

The Lit And Phil. Very well done if you said that.

A pointless answer.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. Now, it comes down to a decider.

A third question. Whoever wins this question goes through to the final and plays for that jackpot.

Good luck, both pairs. It concerns...

Double A-Sides.

Yeah, back in the olden days where you could release double A-side singles...

We're going to show you the name of an act and a song

and we're going to show you the initials of the song that was a double A-side with that song.

We need you tell us what those initials stand for, please. Very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed. OK, let's reveal our five double A-sides. And here they are...

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Five double A-sides.

Matt and James, you go first.

THEY CONFER

We'll go for the Bicycle Race, Queen, which is Fat Bottomed Girls.

Fat Bottomed Girls say Matt and James, Fat Bottomed Girls.

Simon and Becky.

Well, the bottom one must be Brown Girl In The Ring.

-OK.

-And that's where my input stops.

Excellent.

The bottom one is Brown Girl In The Ring.

And that would be our answer.

OK, you're going to go for Brown Girl In The Ring.

So we have Fat Bottomed Girls versus Brown Girl In The Ring.

Matt and James said Fat Bottomed Girls.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

37 for Fat Bottomed Girls.

Simon and Becky have gone for Brown Girl In The Ring.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is let's see how many people said that.

It's right.

It has to beat 37 and it does! Look at that! Wow!

-30 for Brown Girl In The Ring.

-Well done, you did well.

Very well done, Simon and Becky. After three questions, you are through to the final, 2-1.

And once again a brand-new pair defeats three returning pairs. It's happened three times recently.

Let's take a look at the rest of this board and fill this in.

-Do you know any of these? Do you know the Brice Springsteen one?

-I'm On Fire.

-I'm On Fire, yes.

Would have scored you 7 points.

The Stones?

-You'll know the song. It's Let's Spend...

-The Night Together. I'd have got that.

That would have scored you 16. And the best answer on the board

-is McFly...

-You've Got A Friend.

-You've Got A Friend, yeah.

Well done. McFly. Would have scored 5 points.

Very well done if you got that at home. Well done if you got all of those. That's very impressive.

Thanks very much indeed. So the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

I'm sorry, it's Matt and James. You've done so well this time.

Much, much better performance.

The head-to-head as we predicted a very, very close-run thing.

Now, yes, Spender. Were you sort of thinking of Spender?

No, the only thing in my mind was Crocodile Shoes.

I remember he sort of walks down and he plays the song Crocodile Shoes.

I just thought, "I'm sure that's a detective or police," but...obviously not.

-It was music.

-It was music.

Anyway, it's been great having you on the show.

I'm sorry we have to say goodbye to you now, but, Matt and James, thanks very much for playing.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

But for Simon and and Becky, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Simon and Becky, you've seen off all the competition

and won our coveted Pointless trophy. So very well done.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at...

You've done very well. You've done very well. You've arrived here.

There have been some howlers on the way but there have been howlers from everyone, to be fair.

Well, as always you kick this round off by choosing a category, and your four choices are...

None of those are my strongest. What would you say yours would be?

Well, I'm tending towards the 2010 UK General Election, actually.

-Sure.

-Well, it depends what we're asked, of course, but...

I don't think France is... What do you know about opera?

-Nothing.

-Opera's out.

-British And Irish Lions?

-Nope.

-That's out.

-France?

-Not too much. We'll go for the...trusted...

-We'll go for the 2010 UK General Election, please.

-Yeah.

-So the 2010 UK General Election it is.

-Let's give you some choice here.

You can give us any answer in any of these categories.

Very best of luck.

OK, you now have to one minute to come up with three answers.

And all you need to win that £3,250 is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

Now, remember the answers you give can come from any of these categories.

So you can have three from one category, two from one, one from another, it's entirely up to you.

As long as you say which category it is you're answering when you submit your answer.

-Are you ready?

-Yeah.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

Right, MPs first elected in the 1970s. I think Sir John Stanley

-who is the Edenbridge and Tonbridge MP. I think he was elected in the '70s.

-Fantastic.

-So if we have him...

-There was a female on the other day

and she was speaking out about Margaret Thatcher. Who was that lady? Did you watch the news?

-No.

-Can't remember her name.

-That's not going to help.

-Political parties?

I would...over 100,000 votes, I would have said something like the Democratic Ulster Party

or Democratic Unionist Party, let's get it right.

Do you know anybody else first elected in the 1970s apart from...?

-Quick, quick, quick!

-I'm try to think who the Father of the House is,

but it's someone that I don't know.

-Actually, if we go for Dennis Skinner...

-OK.

-He's the Beast of Bolsover.

-10 seconds.

-So we've got Dennis Skinner. We've got...

-Sir John Stanley for the first,

-and we've got the Democratic Unionist Party for the third one.

-OK.

OK, that is your time up. I now need your three answers, what are they going to be?

-OK, from the first category we'll have Sir John Stanley...

-Sir John Stanley.

-We'll have Dennis Skinner.

-Dennis Skinner.

And from the third category, we will have the Democratic Unionist Party.

Democratic Unionist Party.

Very good. Now, of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-I'd have said Sir John Stanley.

-Sir John Stanley will go last.

Which is your least likely?

-Probably... the Democratic Unionist Party.

-OK, the DUP we'll put first, then.

Very good. Let's put those up on the board in that order. And here they are. We have got...

Well, very, very best of luck. Three good answers on the board there.

Your first answer was the Democratic Unionist Party.

This is the one you were least sure of.

I mean, you were pretty confident. It's just whether or not it would be pointless.

Now, obviously, if it is pointless, you'll win £3,250. Simon, what would you do with your share of that?

A nice big long holiday somewhere,

and I also need to get my flat redecorated. So some it would go towards that.

That's the boring bit. But the exciting bit would be a cruise somewhere, I think.

-Becky, how about you?

-Shopping!

Yeah... I would...yes, use some of it to go shopping,

and some of it just to do boring, pay-off-the-student-loan type of things, so...

OK, well, very, very best of luck. Let us find out for £3,250.

The Democratic Unionist Party, was that a party that gained more than 100,000 votes?

It was.

So the DUP taking us down through the 50s, into the 40s,

if this goes all the way down to zero, you will leave here immediately

with £3,250...

It's still going down, down it goes...

Wow! You've done it!

Very well done indeed!

Wow! Very well done!

-Fantastic!

-Thank you.

-Good work.

-Thank you.

I told you! I told you!

Well, congratulations.

Congratulations. The Democratic Unionist Party was a pointless answer.

And that means you will go home with the jackpot of...

Very well done.

And we had two pretty good answers on the board as well for your second and third answers,

so we'll find out from Richard how they would have done, but very well done indeed.

Yeah, well played, guys.

The politics ones are always good categories to go for if you know your stuff,

because our 100 are always quite shaky on them, so very well played.

Sir John Stanley also would have been a pointless answer as well.

-So very well played with that.

-Yeah.

Dennis Skinner would have scored you 5 points, but two out of three isn't bad,

I think it's fair to say. Let's take a look at some of the other pointless answers.

Some big names on the list.

Also could have had Austin Mitchell, Frank Field, Geoffrey Robinson,

Gerald Kaufman, you could have had Stephen Dorrell. Well done if you said any of those.

Now, female MPs elected for the first time.

There were over 60 female MPs elected for the first time in 2010.

I'll tell you the ones that scored points, and everyone else was pointless on this list.

The ones that scored points... Louise Mensch would have scored you points.

Liz Truss, Claire Perry, Stella Creasy, Pauline Latham, Pamela Nash,

Helen Grant and Caroline Lucas.

Every single other female MP elected for the first time was a pointless answer.

Well done if you said any of those.

And the one that won you the money, there's only three answers, all Northern Irish parties.

Very well done if you said any of those at home, and very well done in the studio. Terrific work.

Thanks very much, Richard. Well, thanks once again to our winning players, Simon and Becky,

who go away with today's jackpot of £3,250.

Very well done.

Join us next time when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me, goodbye.

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