Episode 8 Pointless

Thank you very much. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong

and welcome to Pointless. This is the quiz show where

all the questions have been asked to 100 people before the show,

and all our contestants have to do is come up with answers

those 100 people couldn't think of. Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one. I'm Tom, this is my friend James

and we're old school friends from Salisbury.

Couple number two. I'm John, this is my sister Ann. I live in Exeter

in Devon, Ann lives in Cheshunt in Hertfordshire.

Couple number three. I'm Andy, this is my girlfriend Hannah.

And we come from a couple of villages outside of Haywards Heath.

And, finally, couple number four. Hi, I'm Nicki and this is

my good friend Heather and we come from Birmingham.

Thanks very much all of you, we'll find out more about you throughout

the show as it goes along. That just leaves one more person for me to

introduce. Lording it over Pointless like a furious, corrupt,

questionably-moralled Berlusconi figure, it's my bunga bunga

That's nice, isn't it? Isn't it? Like a Berlusconi-type figure(!) Yes!

What about this? This will be fun. We've only got one returning pair

which is John and Ann so we've got lots of lovely new pairs today.

We've got two from my old home town Haywards Heath.

Nice. And one of them works at the school I went to.

They both went to my old school. So, how bright are they going to be?

They are going to be very bright. Oh, man. One of them teaches there.

I know, right. We'll talk about that more as the show goes on.

Round One - slightly different type of round.

I think people will work it out fairly quickly

Sorry, everyone. OK. I don't want you to think you're

No, you're not. You're pioneers. You're pioneers, remember that.

All our questions have been put to 100 people before the show

and our contestants need to find the obscure answers those 100

people didn't get. Everyone's trying to find a pointless answer -

that's an answer that none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens, we will add ?250 to the jackpot.

Now, Barbara and Laura didn't win the jackpot last time, so we add

another ?1,000 to that. So today's jackpot starts off at...

If everyone's ready, let's play Pointless...

OK, in this First Round I'll want an answer from each of you

but there is to be no conferring. Whichever pair has the highest

score at the end of the round will be eliminated, so try and make sure

that is not you. OK, our category for the First Round today is...

Can you all decide who's going to go first or second.

And, whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes...

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

..as they could. Four-letter words. Richard.

We're looking for any four-letter word from the Oxford

Dictionary of English that can be made using a combination of those

letters, please. There's around about 100 four-letter words that can

be made using those letters. As always, no hyphenated words,

no trademarks, no proper nouns, anything like that.

Thank you very much indeed. Now, James and Tom, you all drew lots

before the show and today you're going to go first.

LAUGHTER That is a good answer.

We haven't had many pilots on the show.

Normally, people say "I'm a du-du-du of a blah-blah in a blah-blah-blah."

"You know what, mate, a pilot. Deal with that."

Short-haul, long-haul? Short-haul. What's your preference?

How long have you done that for? For two-and-a-half years.

Do you do the talk before you take off? I do.

And have you...do you get schooled in that? Does anyone...

IN DEEP VOICE: Does Simon Bates ever come in and tell you...?

What are you most proud of in your life, James?

And, as a kid I once played the piano on Blue Peter so

Wow! You played live on Blue Peter? I did, yeah.

Who were the Blue Peter hosts in those days?

I know. You wanted to say Valerie Singleton.

It was black and white in those days.

Somebody who-who played the piano on Blue Peter when Konnie Huq...

was presenting is now flying an aeroplane.

While I was talking to him, he's come up with the word

All the time you were telling him what the rules were and what

words they can have. And it was that. It was that.

Oh, was it? "Lest," says James. Let's see if that's right and if it is

let's see how many of our 100 people said "lest".

16, very well done. Good start, James. It's tough on that

OK. Now, John, welcome back. Thank you.

We were robbed, really. It was in Round Two

and we had a stormer in the First Round

and then it was just a real close one in the second.

Animated films, yes. Animated films. All went wrong.

It did. It did. But, listen, we've got this nice round.

Do you like our new words round, John?

Let you know if I like it after the word. OK!

Fair enough. What are you going to go for?

S-L-O-E. Very nice indeed. OK. "Sloe," says John.

Let's see if that's right, see how many people said it.

Oh, very well done indeed. Look at that, John.

Superb answer. Sloe, scoring just one.

Oh, John means business today, doesn't he?

Really good answer. We go picking them every

October. Do you? That's the gin, yeah.

The fruit of the blackthorn, sloe. And, as you say, lovely sloe gin.

Mm. Mm-mm. I think it's the gin I like more than the sloe, but...

Andy, welcome to Pointless. Thank you.

I know what you do. You're a teaching assistant at

Warden Park School. Yeah, I am, yeah.

And how's that going? Really well at the moment.

I found the guys at Warden Park were the...they were the gentler

people. Let's just say they were...quite gentle, quite studious.

Very, yeah. Very. Of course. Absolutely stop you there...

Oathall. Yeah. Exactly. Not like that lot. No, the guys...

The thing about Warden Park is they are well behaved.

They'll do their exams and it's got a very good academic record

and all sorts of things. Very smart... But if there's a fight...

Cor. ..don't pick a fight with a Warden Park kid. That's all I'm

How is Warden Park? Is it well? Oh, fantastic at the moment, yeah.

Do say hi from me. Will do. Do say hi. It was a lovely school.

Now then...words, Andy. Words. Four-letter words from pointless.

Pent. It's another good one. Let's see if pent's right...

let's see how many of our 100 people said "pent"...

Yeah, closely confined or held back under pressure, pent.

Now then, Heather, welcome to the show, Great to have you here.

What do you do, Heather? I'm an accountant so numbers are

more my thing rather than words. Rather than letters? OK. Yeah.

Listen, here we are...four-letter words from pointless.

They're very good, this lot. Mm. They're very good.

Do you mean you still haven't got one? That's what I'm saying.

Very well done. 20's our high score, 1 is our low.

Very well played - an isle. And you know what that means.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard! We're halfway through the round.

One the best score of that pass, John. Superb.

Then to seven, where we find Heather and Nicki.

16 where we find James and Tom. Up at 20

we find Andy and Hannah. You're not that far ahead.

But, Hannah, just to make sure you're in the next round

let's have a really nice low score from you, please.

We were going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK, so we are looking for four-letter words

you can make out of the word pointless.

Nicki, welcome to the show. Hello. What do you do?

Which department are you in? I was in HR but I've recently

moved to the library. It's a bit quieter in there, isn't it, than HR?

Exactly. Exactly. I get on with my work a lot better.

And what do you do in your spare time?

In my spare time I do a variety of things.

I'm halfway through a history degree with the Open University.

How long does that take or can you choose? Is it up to you?

It takes six years if you do it part-time.

And how far are you through it? I'm just finishing my third year.

Enjoying it? And you'll see it all the way through? Yeah, hopefully.

But, I'm going to go for tine, T-I-N-E. Tine.

"Tine," says Nicki. Which could be wrong.

I don't think it is, it's certainly in there, certainly a word.

Tine. There is your red line, if you get below that red line

you are definitely in the next round.

Let's see how many people said "tine"...

Takes your total to 23. Yeah, tine is a prong most

Tines on a fork. Very good. Now, Hannah.

But the high scorers are only 3 points ahead of you.

OK. Now, Hannah, what do you do? I work in a fraud investigation team

in an insurance factory...er, insurance company, sorry.

RICHARD CHUCKLES An insurance factory?!

Er...so fraud investigation. Yes. That's fun. Is it basically just

like one long episode of the Roger Cook Report?

"have you got...?" You don't need a microphone in a...

No. It's more office-based but it's still very, very exciting.

I bet that's exciting. It's very good.

Now then, Hannah, we need from you a four-letter word from pointless.

I've got two, I'm just weighing them up. Going to go for silt,

S-I-L-T. "S-I-L-T," says Hannah, silt. Let's see if that's right.

There's your red line, it's incredibly low.

But let's see if silt... I'm not sure it will get you below

that, but let's see how far down the column silt gets you - silt.

It's a good answer. Fine sand or a sediment. I'll ask you what your

other answer would have been at the end of the pass.

Now then... Ann. You're on 1. Brilliant,

brilliant work from John in the first pass puts you in a very,

Ann, remind us what you do. I'm a PA to a surgeon.

And he's a foot surgeon. That's right.

In his down time, or her down time, when it's not too busy in

the surgery - good foot rubs going on?

It's full steam ahead. Yeah. Always busy. That's a shame.

And in your spare time what do you do, Ann?

I like to swim, I walk my dog a lot. Erm...cycling...cooking.

I like to travel. What sort of thing do you cook.

Erm, I cook anything really but we went to Thailand recently and I

did a Thai cookery course. Oh, brilliant.

So, I'm a bit into Thai cooking at the moment.

Now then, what are you going to go for?

Into. Hannah and Andy are our high scorers on 35. You're on 1.

A score of 33 or less sees you comfortably into the next round.

There's your red line, let's see how many of our 100 said "into"...

Very well played. You are literally into Round 2.

Well, I don't know. We'll see. What do you do?

And how long have you and James known each other?

Since school, so about year 7, 11 years onwards. Wow.

And what were you doing when James was playing the piano

for Konnie Huq? Well, watching him on telly.

Yeah. And now a pilot. Look at that. Who'd have thought?

So, Tom, in your spare time what do you like to get up to?

A big football fan so I watch a lot of football.

Got a degree in history as well so I go to galleries and museums,

Good. Talking of highbrow kinds of thing - we are looking for

four-letter words from the word pointless.

You're on 16, the high scorers on 35 are Hannah and Andy.

A bit touch and go but I'll go for toil.

Tom says, "Toil." There is your red line.

Toil has to get you below that red line

if you are to see it through to Round 2.

Is toil good? How many people said it?

Very well done. Takes your total up to 30.

There's some... Do you have an answer? Yeah. You know how recently

I've had some very, very bad...in these words rounds.

Yeah, you're normally very, I have to say, normally terrifically good,

you've had a couple of dodgy ones. Yeah...

So it's either sine, S-I-N-E or sine? Yeah, it's sine.

Mathematical thing? Perfectly acceptable.

I'm happy with that. A very good score. Scrabble's a good place to

get lots of these words. Funnily enough...

I'll show you the pointless ones in a minute.

..the place where the really low scorers are is with some plurals.

People completely forgot plurals. You'd have got 1 point for ties -

would have scored you 1 point - as would sops. And let's look at

the pointless answers and there's a few plurals in here as well

Scrabble players will know as well L-E-I-S would also be all right

Let's take a look at the worst answers,

the ones that most of our 100 people said.

But there's lots in there. All sorts... Yeah, extraordinary.

Thanks, Richard. So, at the end of our 1st Round I'm

afraid the pair we have to see goodbye to... Oh, this is too soon!

This is really too soon, Hannah and Andy, too soon indeed.

Two perfectly good answers. You didn't deserve being sent home

for pent and silt. I thought pent was going to be very low...

I had a couple of the pointless ones as well...

HE SIGHS Oh, he's good.

Going to go home and be quite gutted about that.

We will see you again next time, we'll look forward to that.

Thanks very much for playing, Hannah and Andy.

But for the remaining three pairs it's now time for Round 2...

At the end of this round, we get rid of another pair

in time for our head-to-head. John and Ann very well done.

Returning pair - fantastic low-scoring - sloe.

Best score of that round. Thank you. Very good.

But not bad from everyone else, not bad at all. All pretty good

scores. Best of luck to all three pairs.

Can you all decide who's going to go first and who second?

And whoever's going first, please, step up to the podium.

Richard... On each pass we'll give you six openings of famous novels.

There we are. Six opening lines to six novels.

Tom, you need to find the one you think

I'll go for Call Me Ishmael and Moby Dick. Moby Dick.

Of course, Call Me Ishmael. Let's see if that's right and if it is

how many of our 100 people said, "Moby Dick."

Yeah, very good. He was very successful Herman Melville,

Really? Sort of slid into obscurity after it. Yeah.

..what do you make of this board here? I'm not very happy here.

I'm going to just have to a total guess...

And I'm going to say, Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy is

The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe.

"The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe," says Ann.

Let's see of it's a good guess. How many people said, "The Lion,

Absolutely right, very well done, Ann.

It wasn't a complete, guess, Ann, to be fair?

You didn't choose from every book ever published and just...

Well, I was going to say "Famous Five" but there's only

Funnily enough, the original draft or an early draft of it read -

"This book is about four children whose names are Ann, Martin,

Thanks very much, Richard. Now, Heather,

you're the last person to have this board.

I'm not very happy about that. There must be some you can fill in.

Erm, I was going to go with The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe

..obviously the penultimate one is a Harry Potter one.

Oh, I've just going to have to say Harry Potter for the Mr

OK, Heather says, "Harry Potter." Let's see if that's right

and, if it is, how many people said, "Harry Potter."

Sorry, that's an incorrect answer as you suspected it would be.

It scores you the maximum of 100 points. Sorry, Richard...

Sorry, Heather, you're right, it is Harry Potter.

You weren't tempted to go...? Nothing you were tempted to go for there?

None of the titles... Absolutely not, no. It's...

Would have scored you 33 points. The top one...

This next one... I bet you know that one?

And the bottom answer is the best answer on the board,

So, very well done if you got that terrific answer.

Well done Tom. Tom and James have a strong position.

where we find Ann and John. And I'm afraid

But Nicki, you get first pick of this next board,

OK. Best of luck. We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players, please, take their places at the podium?

I'll read those all one final time...

And Nicki, you need to find the one you think the fewest of our

100 people knew, you are the high-scorers.

Yeah. How's this board? Not great, can I have the previous one

cos I knew Trainspotting? Of course you can...

I think I know the top one but I don't want to risk getting 200.

No red line for you, you're the high-scorers

100 people said, "Bridget Jones's Diary."

Yeah, well played, Nicki it might yet save you - by Helen Fielding,

Thanks very much indeed. Now then, John.

What are you going to go for? You're on 41, the high-scorers

are Nicki and Heather on 131, so 89 or less sees you through.

Yeah, I'm not a lot better off than Nicki, really.

And I knew that one and I think that the third one

I'm going to say is A Tale of Two Cities.

"A Tale of Two Cities" for the third one, says John.

Here's your red line. If you get below that you're through

to the head-to-head. Let's see how many of our 100 people said

Well played, John, safely through. Those cities being Paris and London.

Thanks very much, Richard. Now, James, good news, you're through.

There's only one that I would take a stab at.

It's the second one down and I think it might be...

1984. 1984 for the second one down...

Let's see if that's right. No red line for you cos you're

already through but let's see how many people said, "1984."

Terrific answer. Very well played...1984.

Is that the one you were going to go for, Nicki? Yeah.

Let's fill in the rest of this board...

The top one, quite a modern novel, 2009.

And the "Who Would Have Believed..." do you know that one?

This next one, another modern one. I'd normally ask you, I'm not going

to ask you this one I'm going to ask everyone at home.

What's the answer to that one? Who there is sitting there going,

You're such liars, it's Fifty Shades Of Grey!

LAUGHTER Ahh!

4 points that would have scored you. You knew that one!

So, I'm afraid, Nicki and Heather you are our high-scoring pair

Thanks, meantime, very much for playing. BOTH: Thank you.

But, for the remaining two pairs it's now time for the head-to-head.

Congratulations, James and Tom, John and Ann, you are now one step

So, now we need to decide who's going to play for that money

and to do that you are now going to go head-to-head

but the big difference is you are now allowed to confer.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Well, John and Ann, our returning pair, you've done very, very well,

Feeling good. We've had some great answers from you.

Really strong indeed. James, you have piloted yourselves into er...

into the semifinal, you just have to taxi yourselves now

walk to er, baggage retrieval where you can get your trophy.

I won't say which airline - they were very nice to me, I got

on a flight really late and cos I got on the flight really late

one of the cabin crew, I think, recognised me but

misrecognised me so thought, "Oh, he must be pilot."

So, I was ushered into first class and told to sit down

"Oh, erm, Paul and Jenny are doing this flight."

LAUGHTER "That's nice..."

and it wasn't until the penny hadn't dropped until

well into the flight by which time I had my champagne...

It was fantastic. Let's play the head-to-head...

OK, here comes your first question...

Richard. We're going to show you five sets of initials, now, all are

people who were Chancellor of the Exchequer and then became

Prime Minister between 1900 and 2011. Can you tell us who they are, please?

Thanks very much indeed. So, let's reveal our five sets of

Now, James and Tom, you've played best throughout the show so far

Winston Churchill, you're going to say, Winston Churchill.

The board is yours, do you fancy talking us through it? Em...

Well, I said to someone the other night,

"Can you teach me some chancellors of the exchequer",

and they didn't, we just had a drink instead.

We think we've got Gordon Brown for the second one,

Well, we think maybe Stanley Baldwin.

And we were running into trouble a bit with the others,

so we have Winston Churchill versus Stanley Baldwin.

Churchill is what James and Tom went with,

let's see if it's right and how many people said it.

52 points for Churchill. Now, John and Ann,

this sounds like a great answer, Stanley Baldwin, let's see

if that's right and if it is, how many people said it.

Very well done, wins you the point as well.

Oh, it's great, look at that, 10 for Stanley Baldwin.

Which means, John and Ann, after one question you are up 1-0.

Brown, both teams knew, it would have scored too many points though.

JC was James Callaghan, would have scored you 30.

And ABL, the shortest serving Prime Minister of the 20th century.

It's Bonar Law, but I can't think what his Christian name is.

Andrew Bonar Law, scored 4 points, so very well done if you said that.

James and Tom, here comes your second question,

you have to win this one to stay in the game.

we're going to give you five clues to facts about Girls Aloud,

including which one was chancellor and went on to become prime minister.

Give us the most obscure answer please.

Let's reveal our five clues, and here they are...

There we are, five clues to facts about Girls Aloud.

John and Ann, you go first this time.

We're going to go with the second one,

Sound Of The Underground, say John and Ann.

James and Tom, you have to beat that to stay in the game,

Unfortunately I think we might be able to.

Number of members in the group is five,

the member who took part in Strictly Come Dancing was Kimberly Walsh,

Cheryl Cole's maiden name was Tweedy, and the Pretenders song...

We can sing it but we can't say the title. We won't.

We are going to say Cheryl Cole's maiden name, which was Tweedy.

OK, so we have Sound Of The Underground versus Tweedy.

John and Ann went for Sound Of The Underground, let's see

if that's right and if it is, how many people said it.

that's what you have to beat with Tweedy, let's see if you can do it.

Well, it's right. If it beats 15 you're still in the game, if not...

That mean, John and Ann, after only two questions

you are through to the final, 2-0, well done.

Unlucky, guys, you took us through the board very well.

if you're going to Malaga tomorrow, this guy's flying your plane!

Sound Of The Underground, genuinely great record I would say.

Number of members, you're right, it's five.

Kimberly Walsh you were right about as well,

wouldn't have won you the point, would have scored 24,

but if you could have remembered the Pretenders song,

That would have scored 3 points. Very well done at home

so at the end of our head-to-head round I'm afraid the pair

who'll be leaving us pointless - but in a bad way - are James and Tom.

I'm really sorry, but the good news is we get to see you again.

Otherwise that'd have been it, you'd have flown off -

We'll look forward to seeing you next time.

But for John and Ann, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Well, congratulations, John and Ann, you've seen off all

the competition and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

which at the end of today's show stands at...

You know what, you've played so well throughout the whole show,

but for me, that last head-to-head round sums it all up.

and your two answers were Sound Of The Underground and Stanley Baldwin.

Diverse responses! I think that is truly commendable, well done.

And anything you'd like to see come up in this round?

I think Girls Aloud was a bit of a dream for me,

Music I like, and books... Well, books won't come up again, will it?

as always you kick this round off by choosing your own category,

you have a choice of four options, and they are...

I think we can probably rule out Sheffield, can we? Mmm.

You'd be good at fashion. I wouldn't mind fashion.

I might be all right at German sport,

but perhaps not as good as you with fashion.

Oh, I don't want to take the responsibility!

It's only ?5,000, don't worry about it(!)

OK, fashion please. Fashion it is. Fashion, Richard.

Yep, going to give you your three categories now...

The name of any actor or actress who was credited in the film

Any winners of Model Of The Year at the British Fashion Awards

It's been called "Most Stylish Model",

but it's the Model Of The Year award.

Or any female winner of the Designer Of The Year award

OK, as always you have one minute to come up with three answers,

and all you need to win that jackpot of ?5,000 is for just

one of those answers to be pointless.

Remember, the answers you give can be from any of these categories,

one from each, it's entirely up to you.

do you know any of the Model Of The Year?

I think it might be Lily Cole or somebody like that.

Is it too far back to say Twiggy, or who else was around?

Well, it could have been, I don't know if it existed then.

Anyone a bit more obscure? I don't even know designers.

Vivienne Westwood, or Alexander McQueen -

Who else could be models who's like, a long way back? Ten seconds left.

She won it, but could we go...? Marie Helvin.

Yeah, do her, any others in that sort of era?

OK, that's your time up, I now need your three answers,

Anne Hathaway, Devil Wears Prada actress.

Female winner of Designer Of The Year at the British Fashion awards,

which do you think is your best shot at a pointless answer?

Em...Marie Helvin. OK, we'll put her last.

Which is your least likely to be pointless?

I think Anne Hathaway, don't you? Mmm.

OK, let's put those up on the board in that order.

Well, very best of luck. Your first answer,

the one you thought was least likely to be pointless was Anne Hathaway.

If this is correct and pointless you will win ?5,000.

I'd give Ann half. And then I'd probably do an Italy trip.

I'd like to go and spend some time at a language school...

Ann, how about you? Yeah, holiday somewhere.

Sicily I quite fancy, not been there. Good stuff.

Well, three good answers on the board,

let's hope one of those wins that jackpot for you.

So for ?5,000, is Anne Hathaway an actress in The Devil Wears Prada?

It's right. Now all it has to be is Pointless.

Anne Hathaway taking us down through the 50s, the 40s...

41, a popular answer there, not a pointless answer therefore.

Your second answer was Vivienne Westwood.

Let's find out if it's right, and again,

if it's pointless it wins you that jackpot.

So for ?5,000, has Vivienne Westwood ever won Designer Of The Year?

Anne Hathaway took us down to 41, Vivienne Westwood takes us

past that, into the 30s, 20s, teens...

These are all scores that would probably get you through

if we were playing in an earlier round.

But in this round they have to be pointless,

we're only interested in pointless answers.

on your third and final answer, Marie Helvin.

This one you thought was your best shot at a pointless answer.

Let's find out if it was. If it is it will win you the jackpot.

So for ?5,000, has Marie Helvin ever won Model Of The Year?

Well, two perfectly good answers there, John and Ann,

but I'm afraid you didn't manage to find that all-important

pointless answer, which means you don't win today's

jackpot of ?5,000 and that will roll over onto the next show.

But we've really loved having you both on the show

and you do of course get to take home

your Pointless trophy each. That's great, thank you.

Well played, John and Ann. Marie Helvin

was slightly before this time. I did say it was

since 2001 they've awarded Model Of The Year. Actually, Model Of The Year

I suspect is the category where people at home might have got

David Marshall Grant plays Anne Hathaway's dad in the film,

the model Gisele Bundchen is in the film,

who play's Anne Hathaway's friend Lily, she was a pointless answer.

Erin O'Conner would have been a pointless answer,

Georgia May Jagger, Karen Elson also pointless answers.

And the Designer Of The Year, only two pointless answers,

Vivienne Westwood, Sarah Burton, Katharine Hamnett and Betty Jackson.

But these are your only two pointless answers.

Very well done if you said either of those. Terrific work.

Unfortunately we have to say goodbye to you, John and Ann,

Well, John and Ann sadly didn't win our jackpot today, which means

it rolls over onto the next show, when we will be playing for ?6,000.

Join us then to see if someone can win it.

Meanwhile it's goodbye from Richard. Goodbye.

Four dead after hurricane force winds batter southern Britain.

Hundreds of trees have been brought down, causing road and rail

disruption. Wind