Episode 21 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless,

the show where the aim of the game is to find the most obscure answer possible.

Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

-And couple number one.

-Hi, Alexander.

My name's Ken, this is my wife, Gail,

and we're from Warrington in Cheshire.

And couple number two.

Hello, my name is Sandra, this is Erika.

I'm the mother, my daughter, and we're both from Newcastle.

Couple number three.

Hi, I'm Suzy, this is my friend, Jo, and we're from Bristol.

And, finally, couple number four.

Hi, my name's Jon, this is my friend, Olly,

and we're from Cardiff.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much, all of you. We'll find out more about you

throughout the show as it goes along.

So, that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

He's a hard-boiled knowledge gumshoe

beating the streets of facts every night

with nothing but a fedora, a laptop, and a quizzical look,

and he always gets the dame.

It's my Pointless friend...

-it's Richard.

-Hiya.

Hi, everybody. Hiya. APPLAUSE

-Good afternoon.

-Yeah, good afternoon.

Oh, that last show, one of my favourite shows ever, I think,

-it had a bit of everything in it, didn't it?

-Yeah.

We've got a lot of people on today's show returning from it, as well.

We've got Ken and Gail, we started out with them.

-Ken slightly misunderstood the question.

-Yeah.

And they got knocked out because of it, which is a real shame,

but these things happen.

Then the second round, Jon told us

-that Great Expectations was by Jane Austen.

-Yes.

Which it's not, apparently, it's by Charles Dickens.

Who knew that?

And yet, still, managed to get through, managed to beat Suzy and Jo.

I still can't work out how that happened, but it did happen.

And they got through to the head-to-head and played Paul and Ray.

-Paul and Ray were amazing, weren't they?

-Yeah.

They were terrific. 2-nil in the head-to-head, guys, wasn't it?

Then they won the jackpot, got two pointless answers in the jackpot,

lovely guys, as well.

Took the money home, but we've got three of those returning pairs today,

so, I think it's going to be terrific fun, isn't it?

-We've got a great show ahead of us.

-Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

We've asked every question on Pointless to 100 people before the show.

The aim of the game is to try and find a pointless answer,

that being an answer that none of our 100 people gave and,

each time that happens, we'll add 250 quid to the jackpot.

Now, Paul and Ray, as you'll have gathered,

won the jackpot last time,

so today's jackpot starts off back at £1,000.

So, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

OK, now, the pair with the highest score

at the end of the round will be eliminated,

but do remember there is to be no conferring during the round.

OK, our first category today is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second.

And, whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Famous Etonians. Richard.

Oh, you know, actually, for once in the show, that's actually a typo.

That should say "Famous Estonians," I'm so sorry.

-I wish!

-Uh, we'll go with Etonians instead, shall we?

On each pass, we're going to give you seven clues to famous people

who attended Eton School. We'll give you their initials, as well.

You just have to give us the most obscure of those answers, please.

There's going to be 14 in all to have a go at at home, very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed. So we are looking for the famous Etonians

described by these clues.

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Now, Ken and Gail, you all drew lots before the show,

and today you are going to go first.

Gail, I see that you've elected to go first this time.

I wonder why that might be(!) What happened last time?

Well, I think Ken misunderstood the question...

You weren't listening, Ken.

-That's my problem, I don't listen.

-I'm always telling him, Alexander,

-he doesn't listen.

-Yeah.

-LAUGHTER

Um, OK, Gail, there is your board.

-Pick the lowest scoring answer you can.

-Well...

I think I'm going to go for a punt on this one, because I think

I may know the art dealer and owner of the White Cube Gallery,

not personally, but I think it might be Jasper Johns.

Jasper Johns, says Gail. Let's see if it's right

and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Jasper Johns.

-Not again!

-Oh, no, Gail! I'm really sorry!

Listen, I would be very surprised if that is the last 100 points

-scored in this round.

-Done it again!

Not Jasper Johns. Anyway, it scored you the maximum of 100 points,

-an incorrect answer. Sorry, Gail.

-I'm so sorry, Gail,

I am so sorry. That's two shows in a row now.

Yeah, he's an American artist, Jasper Johns,

but not a gallerist or owner of the White Cube.

A "gallerist"? Is that what they're called?

-Yeah, someone who owns a gallery is a gallerist.

-A gallerist?

-Yeah.

Thank you very much.

I'm going to look that up as soon as this show is over.

"Gallerist!" Thanks, Richard.

-Sandra...

-Hello.

-..welcome to the show.

-Thank you.

-From Newcastle.

-I am.

But not originally from Newcastle?

This is my well-tuned ear picking this up.

A very well-tuned ear. No, I'm originally from Canada.

Right. How long have you lived in Newcastle for?

Ooh, since 1981, but I came over to Britain in early 1970s.

And what do you do?

I'm retired at the moment.

-What did you do?

-What did I do?

I was head of e-learning at a large FE college in the North East.

Right you are. Now, then, Sandra...

-Yes.

-..what about these old Etonians?

Yes, um, I think I'll go for the first one,

the University Challenge presenter, and say Bamber Gascoigne.

Bamber Gascoigne, says Sandra. Let's see if that's right

and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Bamber Gascoigne.

It's right.

29 - not bad at all, Sandra.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, he presented University Challenge

for 25 years, Bamber Gascoigne.

-Thanks very much. Jo, welcome back.

-Thanks.

-Now, Round Two last time.

-Yes.

-And you joined the 200 Club.

-We did.

-We did.

-We're proud of that.

Yes, good. No, well done, you. And, Jo, remind us what you do.

I'm a training consultant for a software company.

And what do you get up to when you're not doing that, Jo?

I watch a lot of football.

-I'm a bit of a fanatic.

-There we are.

So, Jo, what are you going to go for?

I was going to go for the bottom one,

but I'm not completely confident in my answer,

so, I'm going to play it completely safe

and go for "He became UK Prime Minister in 2010,"

David Cameron.

OK, completely safe.

I think it's the safest one on the board, yeah.

I wouldn't argue with that.

Let's see how many people said David Cameron for that.

It's right.

-Wow! 69.

-APPLAUSE

69.

-69 of our 100 people.

-Yes, interesting that, isn't it?

The 19th British Prime Minister to have gone to Eton.

Olly, welcome back to Pointless. So, head-to-head last round.

-Yes, good show.

-Head-to-head, yeah, good show,

despite some, er, aberrations along the way.

-We did our best.

-You did your best, no arguing with that.

-Now, Olly, what do you do?

-I'm a marketing consultant.

That's right, and in your spare time?

I'm still playing rugby.

What, you haven't given up since the last show?

No, still going, still going strong. Uh...

That is it. I don't do a lot more, to be honest.

But I might take up something new if anyone's got any suggestions.

LAUGHTER

OK, um, Olly, there we are, you're the last person to have this board.

-Yes.

-Do you want to talk us through it at all?

Well, the one I knew,

believe it or not, has gone.

But, I'm going to go...

"Author who created James Bond."

I'm saying Ian...

I don't know what his second name is, but I'm going to punt Francis.

OK, Ian Francis, says Olly.

OK, Ian Francis, says Olly. Let's see if that's right and,

if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Ian Francis.

-Oh!

-OK, bad luck, I'm afraid.

An incorrect answer scores you the maximum of 100 points.

Sorry, Olly.

Carrying on as you left off last time, though,

it's very impressive, and the creator

of James Bond is, of course,

Ian Fleming.

It would have scored you 81 points,

so a lot of people knew that.

Jo, if you'd gone for the bottom one, what would you have gone for?

I've got George Osborne in my head and Gary Oldfield.

LAUGHTER

I'll tell you what, you have a lot of sympathy

-if you've got George Osborne in your head.

-Yeah!

Uh, it's George Orwell is the answer to that one.

It would have scored you 67 points.

"Plays Brody in Homeland"?

-Damian Lewis.

-Damian Lewis, yes. It would have scored you 30.

"He presented I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue."

-Humphrey Lyttelton.

-Humphrey Lyttelton,

which would have scored you...

3 points, it would have been a very good answer, and the best answer was

a pointless answer, Gail,

you'll be devastated to hear, and it is

-Jay Jopling.

-Jay Jopling, yes!

Very well done if you said that at home.

Thanks very much, we're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores. The best score of that pass

was yours, Sandra. Very well done. 29 points to you.

Up to 69 where we find Jo and Suzy...

Gail, phew! You've been joined

up at the top there.

Gail and Ken, and Olly and Jon jockeying it out on 100,

so, it's going to be between you, Ken, and you, Jon,

to see who stays and who leaves at the end of the round.

Best of luck to both of you.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, we're going to put seven more clues up on the board

and here they go. We have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

Now, remember, we are looking for the famous Etonians described

by these clues and, Jon, obviously, we're going to try

and find you the lowest scoring answer there.

So, yes, before you start, Jon, remind us what it is you do.

I, for my sins, am a lettings agent in the fine city of Cardiff.

What sins are those, Jon?

LAUGHTER

I mean, it is quite frowned upon, isn't it, the industry?

I don't think it is. I don't think it is.

I work for a family company, so we're very honest.

-You look very happy with this board.

-I...

I've got three

that I know on there,

but, I think, seeing as how it's our last show,

if it's wrong I'll go out on a bang.

I think the fourth one down,

"Represented Team GB at the 2012 Olympics"

is William Fox-Pitt.

William Fox-Pitt, says John. William Fox-Pitt.

Let's see if it's right.

There's no red line for you as you are joint high-scorers,

but let's see how many people said William Fox-Pitt.

8!

APPLAUSE

That, Jon,

might be a game-changing answer. Very well done indeed,

108 is your total.

Well played, Jon, terrific answer.

Yeah, he's a silver medallist at the Olympics, also been World Number 1,

first Briton to be World Number 1 in eventing.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Suzy...

-Hello.

-Suzy, hello.

Remind us what you do, Suzy.

-I'm a financial advisor.

-A financial advisor.

-Yes.

And what do you like doing? I bet you like financial advising...

-Oh, I do love it.

-..but, when you're not financial advising.

Um, I do like karaoke and a bit of singing, and...

Do you take your karaoke very seriously?

I do, I mean, the local pub that I go to has a regular karaoke night,

so I try and attend that as often as I can,

but I'd quite like to get into more...like the open mic nights,

like the serious side of it and do that side of the singing.

The serious side of karaoke?

Well, sort of. Where people don't laugh at you and they encourage you.

Yeah, OK.

Now, listen, Suzy, you're on 69.

High-scorers at the moment, Jon and Olly at 108.

38 or less gets you into the next round.

Um...the board's not too bad.

I would have preferred Jo's, but there are a couple that I do know.

So, I think I'll go for

"He has won three Olympic golds "alongside Steve Redgrave,"

-and say Matthew Pinsent.

-Matthew Pinsent, says Suzy.

Matthew Pinsent. There's your red line.

If you get below that

you're in Round Two.

Let's see how many of our 100 said Matthew Pinsent.

-Oh!

-42!

APPLAUSE

Jon and Olly, you're in Round Two.

Suzy and Jo, for the moment, you are our high-scorers on 111.

Yeah, a good answer though.

Yeah, four gold medals for Matthew Pinsent.

He started rowing at 13 when he was at school.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Erika, there you are on 29.

A great performance from Sandra in the first round.

Erika, what do you do?

I work for the Alzheimer's Society,

so it's a charity that helps people with dementia in the research team.

-And where do you do that?

-Here in London.

-In London?

-Yeah, yeah.

-Right, so you've moved down from Newcastle.

-Yeah.

How long have you been in London?

Eh, about eight years.

So, when people say, "Where are you from?" What do you tend to answer?

-Newcastle, of course! Yeah, yeah.

-Yeah.

Um, you're on 29 at the moment.

The high-scorers now Suzy and Jo on 111, so 81 or less gets you through.

OK, so, em...

I'm kind of... Well, I'm definitely sure about one,

but I'm not going to say that one, and then there's two that I'm...

kind of sure about,

but I think I'll go with the bottom one which is

"Plays the Prince Regent in Blackadder the Third"

and go with Hugh Laurie.

"Hugh Laurie," says Erika. Hugh Laurie.

There's your red line, if you get below that red line,

you are through to the next round.

Let's see if Hugh Laurie's right, let's see how many people said it.

-Yes!

-Very well done.

-52.

-APPLAUSE

Oh, phew!

Takes your total up to 81.

Well played, Erika. Another rower Hugh Laurie, actually.

-He rowed in the boat race, as well.

-He did, yeah.

And he famously played Bertie Wooster, who also went to Eton.

Only fictionally, but he did.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Now, Ken, we now have

a meaningful contest on our hands.

You have to score 10 or less.

Ken, what do you like to get up to?

In the summer, I play bowls,

Crown Green Bowls.

Um, I do some, eh...Celtic knotwork.

-Get out of town, Ken!

-I do.

-Celtic knotwork?

-Yes.

Ken, there are one, two, three, four blank spaces there.

Do you think you can fill one in that will score you 10 or less, Ken?

Hopefully, yes.

I'll go for the "Goon who starred in the BBC comedy It's A Square World,"

that's Michael Bentine.

Michael Bentine, says Ken. Michael Bentine.

Now, this is exciting. There's your red line.

If you can get below that red line with Michael Bentine,

you go through to Round Two, for the first time!

Let's see if it's right.

Let's see how many people said Michael Bentine.

GROANING

Oh, 23, Ken!

APPLAUSE

23 takes your total up to 123.

I'm so sorry.

Sorry, Ken. Yeah, another old Etonian, Michael Bentine.

-His mum paid his school fees through her bridge winnings.

-That's good.

Nice, innit? Let's fill in the rest of this board.

There is an answer up there that would have seen you through to the next round.

-I knew them all!

-Do you know the Cambridge spy?

-Guy Burgess.

-Guy Burgess would have scored you 3 points.

Um, the British explorer was...

Ranulph Fiennes.

He would have scored you 24.

Now, do you think Boris Johnson got more points than David Cameron?

-He probably did, yes.

-He did indeed.

He got 81 points.

Cameron will like that.

He certainly will. Thanks very much indeed.

So, at the end of that first round, I'm afraid our high-scorers on 123

are Ken and Gail. We have to say goodbye to you.

-It's Round One again!

-Never mind.

-But, Ken, it wasn't your fault this time.

-No!

-Ah!

50/50, like everything else.

Oh, but, Gail, that was a good punt, though.

I mean, it's nice to take a punt.

Anyway, it's been great having you on both shows.

-Thank you so much for playing. Ken and Gail.

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

-Best of luck.

-But, for the remaining three pairs,

it's now time for Round Two.

And so three pairs remain.

Obviously, at the end of this round, we will have to dispatch

another pair in time for our head-to-head round.

I wonder who that's going to be? Our category for Round Two is...

Oh!

The UK Charts. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second.

And, whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name...

Artists who've had a UK best-selling single of the year.

-Richard.

-Yeah, we're looking for the names of any artists who've had

the best-selling single of the year in the UK, any year from 1952

all the way through to 2011, please.

Thanks very much, Richard. Now, then, Erika.

Yeah, I can only think of one

and I just can't get it out of my head, so I'll go with Bryan Adams.

"Bryan Adams," says Erika. Bryan Adams. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Bryan Adams.

It's right.

-Woo!

-15.

-Great!

-APPLAUSE

Good start to the round, Erika. Very well done. 15 for Bryan Adams.

Well played, Erika. Sold over 8 million copies worldwide,

number one for 16 weeks.

Thanks very much. Now, Suzy...

I'm going to have to play safe and hope that Jo has

something good up her sleeve, so I will say Wet, Wet, Wet.

Wet, Wet, Wet, says Suzy. Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many people said it. I think that's a good answer.

It's right.

Well, 15 is our only score so far. You've passed that.

-8!

-APPLAUSE

Very well done indeed, Suzy. 8 for Wet, Wet, Wet.

Well played, Suzy. Yeah, the 10th biggest selling single

in the UK of all time, Love Is All Around.

-Thanks very much indeed. Now, Jon...

-Hello.

Yes, Jon, singles. Best-selling singles of the year in the UK.

The only one that I think that I know was a big seller,

top seller, was Rihanna's Umbrella, so I'm going to say Rihanna.

Rihanna. OK, let's see if Rihanna's right and, if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Rihanna.

-6!

-APPLAUSE

It's all going in the right direction, Jon!

Very well done indeed. 6 for Rihanna.

Well done, Jon. It wasn't Umbrella though.

It was her single with Eminem, Love The Way You Lie.

-Ooh!

-That was a biggest selling single in 2010,

so we won't accept Eminem either now, if that's all right.

-Yeah, Eminem featuring Rihanna.

-Thanks very much.

We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores as they stand. Jon, very well done.

The lowest score halfway through the round.

Then up to 8 where we find Suzy and Jo,

and then up to 15, Erika and Sandra, so, yes,

Sandra, you are out in front there,

but a nice low score from you will see you through to the head-to-head.

Best of luck with that. We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, now, Olly, remember, we're looking for any artist or band

who's had a UK best-selling single of the year.

You're on 6, the high-scorers, as I say, Sandra and Erika on 15.

So, if you can score 8 or less,

-you won't be the high-scorers.

-Right...

I know this guy did well, so I'm going to go for it.

Gareth Gates.

So, Olly, you're saying Gareth Gates.

There's your red line, Olly, if you get below that,

you're in the head-to-head.

Oh, bad luck!

-Gareth Gates?!

-LAUGHTER

Bad luck, Olly, that's an incorrect answer.

It scores you the maximum of 100 points.

Yeah, he's had a few number ones over the years, Gareth Gates,

but he hasn't been top of that chart, I'm afraid.

Thanks, Richard.

-Jo, yes, you need to score 97 or less.

-OK.

Um, I can think of quite a few.

I might just might just play it safe, to be honest.

I'm going to go with

-Queen, Bohemian Rhapsody.

-Queen, says Jo.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

You just have to get below that red line

and you're in the head-to-head.

Oh, no!

-Olly and Jon...

-LAUGHTER

..cannot believe it!

Um, Jo and Suzy, ditto, cannot believe it.

I'm afraid an incorrect answer with Queen scores you 100 points.

-It takes you up to 108.

-Bad luck.

I would have said Bohemian Rhapsody would have been a best-selling

single of the year, either one of the two times it was a big hit,

but not unfortunately. Very sorry.

Uh, thanks, Richard. Now, Sandra... a big moment here.

I am out of my league!

-Oh, could be a lifeline for Jo and Suzy...

-Indeed, indeed.

I'm going to go for...

Tom Jones.

Tom Jones. See, I would have thought that's a great answer.

Possibly.

Let's see if Tom Jones is right.

Let's see how many people said it, if it is.

There's your red line.

It's right! Very well done indeed, Sandra, you are through.

That's a great answer.

-1!

-APPLAUSE

And the best score of the whole round, very well done, Sandra.

It takes your total up to 16.

-You are in the head-to-head.

-Wow!

Oh, very well played, Sandra.

Yeah, the best-selling single of 1966

was The Green, Green Grass of Home by Tom Jones.

Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers.

There's plenty of them up there.

You could have had Brotherhood Of Man, "Save Your Kisses For Me,"

Culture Club, "Karma Chameleon,"

Dexy's Midnight Runners with "Come On, Eileen,"

would have been a great answer.

Engelbert Humperdinck, "Release Me," Lady Gaga, "Poker Face,"

Rick Astley, "Never Gonna Give You Up."

The Black Eyed Peas, "Where Is The Love?",

Human League, "Don't You Want Me?"

The Righteous Brothers, "Unchained Melody."

Gareth Gates wasn't the biggest seller cos

he didn't win Pop Idol that year, it was won by Will Young,

and Will Young would have been a correct answer,

it would have scored you 1 point.

There's a few other pointless answers.

You could have had Shaggy, Doris Day, you could have had The Communards,

Gnarls Barkley would have been a pointless answer.

Well done if you'd said that.

You could have had Mud, Black Box, Boney M.

Bob the Builder a pointless answer, as well.

-What year was that?!

-Bob the Builder?

-Yeah.

That was like kind of 2000, something like that.

Bob the Builder, "Can We Fix It?" A Christmas number one.

A lot of the Christmas number one's are the big sellers.

Also could have had Tony Christie featuring Peter Kay,

"Is This The Way To Amarillo?"

Thanks very much.

So, at the end of our second round, I'm afraid the pair leaving us

with their high score of 108,

it's Jo and Suzy.

Oh, I'm sorry!

Dear, oh, dear! So close though.

We've been robbed again!

So, close. And Olly...!

Olly and Jon, "Ian Francis,"

are going through to the head-to-head.

Jo and Suzy, I'm really sorry. It's been lovely having you on

both shows, but this is where we have to say goodbye.

-Thanks very much for playing. Jo and Suzy.

-APPLAUSE

But, for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for the head-to-head.

Congratulations, Erika and Sandra, Jon and Olly,

you're now one step closer to the final and the chance to play

for our jackpot, which currently stands at £1,000.

Now, we have to decide who's going to go to the final and play

for that money and, to do that, you're going to go head-to-head.

The difference is you're now allowed to confer,

you can chat before you give your answers, and the first pair to win

two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

OK, here comes your first question and it concerns...

-Pride and Prejudice Actors.

-We're going to show you five pictures

of actors taking part in productions of Pride and Prejudice.

You just need to name the most obscure of these, please. Good luck.

Thanks, very much indeed. OK, let's reveal

our five Pride and Prejudice actors, and here they are. We've got...

There we are, five actors who've taken parts in Pride and Prejudice.

Now, Erika and Sandra, you've played best throughout the show so far,

-so you will go first.

-WHISPERING

(I know, yeah, yeah.)

(I know A, B and D.)

WHISPERING CONTINUES

-(C is Kate Beckinsale.)

-(No, it isn't!)

We would like to go for E, Anna Chancellor.

Anna Chancellor, say Erika and Sandra for E. Anna Chancellor.

Jon and Olly, talk us through the board.

-We don't know.

-LAUGHTER

-It's a nice board, though.

-Yeah.

But we're going to go D

and it is a punt, I think we've got his second name.

-Donald Sutherland?

-You're going to say D, Donald Sutherland.

So, we have E, Anna Chancellor,

D, Donald Sutherland. Erika and Sandra said Anna Chancellor.

Let's see if that's right

and let's see how many people said it if it is Anna Chancellor.

Very well done indeed.

5 for Anna Chancellor. Good answer.

APPLAUSE

Jon and Olly have said Donald Sutherland. A bit of a punt,

but Donald Sutherland you've said for D. Let's see if that's right.

If it is, let's see how many people said Donald Sutherland.

It's right.

-45.

-APPLAUSE

Not a bad answer, Jon and Olly, but Erika and Sandra, you win that one.

After one question, you're up 1-nil.

Yeah, well played, Erika and Sandra. Let's fill in the rest of this board.

A is Carey Mulligan, she would have scored you 10 points there.

B is Emilia Fox.

She would have scored you 20 and there's a pointless up there.

That is Talulah Riley.

Very well done if you said that pointless answer.

Thanks very much. OK, here comes your second question.

Jon and Olly, you get to answer this one first,

but you have to win it to stay in the game.

Best of luck. It concerns...

THEY LAUGH

..Denmark, Richard.

Yeah, it's simply five clues now to facts about Denmark.

Can you give us the most obscure answer to these?

Thanks very much. Let's reveal our five clues and here they come.

We have got...

I'll read those one last time.

There we are, Jon and Olly, five clues to five facts about Denmark.

HE INHALES SHARPLY

-(The capital city's obvious...)

-HE WHISPERS

OK. We think that...

the Oresund Bridge connects Denmark to Sweden.

Denmark to Sweden, say Jon and Olly. Denmark to Sweden.

OK, Erika and Sandra, the board is all yours.

THEY WHISPER

(Yeah? OK.)

OK, um...

We're kind of sure about the top one, but not completely, so we'll

go with the third one, which is the unit of currency, which is krone.

Krone, say Erika and Sandra.

OK, so in the order they were given, Jon and Olly have said

the Oresund Bridge connects Denmark to Sweden. Let's see if that's right

and, if it is, let's see how many people said that.

It's right.

There we are. 31.

APPLAUSE

31, so Erika and Sandra, that is what you have to beat

with your answer, the krone, the main unit of currency,

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said krone.

It's right.

If this goes below 31, then you go...

-APPLAUSE

-47.

Well done, Jon and Olly. You're back in the game.

After two questions, it's 1-all.

Great answer, Jon and Olly, well played.

Yeah, there was a TV series called The Bridge,

which was based on a murder on the Oresund Bridge

and the two different countries having to investigate it together.

Um, now the island that it's the largest dependent territory,

what would you have gone for, for that?

-Greenland.

-Greenland is the correct answer, it would have seen

-you in the final, as well, cos it would have scored you 9 points.

-Oh!

The name of its capital city, I think everyone knew, was Copenhagen.

Big scorer, though. It would have scored you 66.

And the first name of the Queen would have scored you 10 points

if you'd said Margrethe.

Margrethe II.

Thank you very much. So, here comes your third question.

This is the decider. Whoever wins this

goes through to the final and plays for the jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs. It concerns...

-THEY LAUGH

-Chemical formulae. Richard.

We're going to show you five everyday names of things

alongside their chemical formulae.

You need to tell us what the things are.

We're going to give you alternate letters, just got to fill in the gaps.

OK, thanks very much. Let's reveal our five chemical formulae,

and here they are.

I'll read those again without the blanks.

There we are. Five chemical formulae and their common names.

-Erika and Sandra, you will go first this time.

-OK.

(What do you think?)

THEY WHISPER

(No? Yeah?)

-We will go for...

-(No, no...the fourth one.)

..the fourth one down and say quartz.

Quartz.

Quartz, say Erika and Sandra.

Now, Jon and Olly, the rest are all yours.

-We think we know two.

-Yeah. Erm..

What do you want to do?

I don't know which one to go for.

-I reckon...

-You choose, mate.

-The bottom one's got to be it.

Yeah, go for it.

We think the bottom one, N2O,

is laughing gas.

OK, you're going to go for laughing gas.

We have quartz and we have laughing gas. Now, Erika and Sandra,

you have gone for quartz. Let's see if that's right and,

if it is, let's see how many people said quartz.

It's right.

-51 for quartz.

-APPLAUSE

51. Now, Jon and Olly

have gone for laughing gas at the bottom there, N2O.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people said laughing gas.

It's right.

-47!

-HE LAUGHS

APPLAUSE

Jon and Olly, very well done indeed.

After three questions, you are through to the final, 2-1.

LAUGHTER

Very well done. You've come through this head-to-head really well.

Nitrous oxide, of course, laughing gas.

There's a couple of other answers that would have seen you

through to the final. Do you know the second one?

It's limestone.

Limestone and that would have scored you 43.

The biggest scorer up there's the third one, which is ammonia.

That would have scored 82. Now, the best answer is the top one.

It's vitamin, obviously, but vitamin what?

-What would you go for?

-I'd have gone for C.

-What would you have gone for?

-E.

-B.

C. It's vitamin C. LAUGHTER

That would have scored you 27 points. Well done if you said that at home.

Thanks very much indeed.

So, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

it's Erika and Sandra. Well, very much against the grain of play,

you've played so consistently well throughout the show

and then you've come up against the brainboxes...

LAUGHTER

-..and they've seen you off, I'm afraid to say.

-They have.

Good news for us, though. We get to see you again next time.

Otherwise, you'd only have been on for one time

and that wouldn't have been long enough,

but we'll look forward to that.

-Erika and Sandra, thanks so much for playing.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

But, for Jon and Olly, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Jon and Olly, you've fought off all

the competition and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

and at the end of today's show the jackpot stands at £1,000.

There it is. Now, listen, we've joked a lot today,

but you have actually done very well.

There's been some good answering along the way.

What would you like to see come up in this last round?

-Certainly sport.

-Sport.

'90s obscure football players would be a good one.

-OK.

-But anything, really.

We've got a trophy, so we're very happy with that.

Well, yeah, don't forget.

You've got that trophy, but you can choose from four

categories for your last round, and here they are.

We have got...

-It's got to be Sporting Awards.

-It's got to be Sporting Awards.

-OK?

-We're happy with that.

-Sporting Awards it is.

OK, guys, you've come a long way since question one of show one,

I'm really glad you're in the final. Very best of luck with this.

A nice category for you. It's three different options for you.

We're looking for anyone who's won

the Professional Golf Association of America Player Of The Year since 1948.

That's all the way through to 2013.

We're looking for anyone who won

the Professional Football Association Player Of The Year from when it

was first given out in 1974 all the way through to the 2012/2013 season.

Or any tennis player who's won

the BBC Overseas Sports Personality Award.

Very, very best of luck.

OK, now, as always, you've got up to one minute to come up with three

answers and all you need to win that jackpot of £1,000 is for just

one of those answers to be pointless. Now, remember,

the answers you give can come from any of these categories and how you

choose to spread them across those categories is entirely down to you.

They could all come from the PFA, they could all be PGA,

or you could have one from each. It's entirely up to you.

-Are you ready?

-Yeah.

-I think we are, yeah.

OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock. There they are.

Your time starts now.

-A golf player...

-Greg Norman.

-I'll go with that.

-Brian Snedeker?

-Snedeker's a good one.

Adam Scott, did he win it recently?

-I don't know if Adam won it.

-I'm going for Snedeker.

Snedeker's a good shout, like it, like it.

-PFA, Gareth Bale, Ronaldo.

-I'm trying to think noughties.

Blackburn won in '93.

-PFA.

-Oh, PFA. Players, Professional Football Association.

Um, from the '90s you've got... Michael Owen, did he win it?

I think PGA Player Of They Year's a shout, mate.

-Greg Norman?

-You going Greg?

I reckon we go two PGA, one PFA.

-You don't know any tennis, overseas?

-There's loads of them, mate.

Federer, obviously. Amelie Mauresmo, weren't she in it?

Don't know.

Um, so, what are we saying? We've got two PGA players...

-Greg Norman.

-Greg Norman.

-Ten seconds left.

-Player Of The Year...

-We'll just have to... Bale?

-Eh?

-Will we?

-Go on.

-Sorted, done.

OK, there's your time up. I now need your three answers.

What are you going to give me?

We're going to give you two answers for PGA Player of the Year.

And they are?

-Greg Norman.

-Greg Norman.

-Go on then.

-We going Snedeker as well, are we?

-Yeah.

-And Brian Snedeker.

-Brian Snedeker.

-Yes.

And our PFA Player of the Year...

Michael Owen?

Out of the ones you've said, yeah.

OK, Michael Owen. Now, of those three, which is

your best shot at a pointless answer, do you think?

-Greg Norman.

-Greg Norman.

-Greg Norman we will put last.

-Which is your least likely?

-Michael Owen.

-Michael Owen.

Michael Owen, OK.

OK, let's pop those up on the board in that order and here they are.

We have got....

Well, best of luck. Your first answer was Michael Owen,

-the one you thought was probably least likely.

-If he won it.

If he won it at all.

-It's a bit of a punt, we don't even know if it's correct.

-Yeah.

If it is correct and if it is pointless,

you will win £1,000, no arguing with that.

What would you do with your share of that, Jon?

Well, Olly wants a new bicycle,

so I'd probably give him the money and then maybe buy him a basket,

-a bell, and perhaps a nice lock to go with the bike.

-Add to it.

-It'll be brilliant.

-That's very decent of you.

-He's a good friend.

-Yeah, he likes cycling.

Listen, very best of luck. So, Michael Owen, your first answer.

We want to find out if Michael Owen has ever won the PFA Player Of The Year.

It has to be right and it has to be pointless,

so, for £1,000, let's find out how many people said Michael Owen.

No! Bad luck.

An incorrect answer, so only two more chances to win today's jackpot.

-Two good answers up on the board though.

-No, one of them's wrong.

-Come on! Come on, Olly.

-Are you sure?

-It's the wrong name.

Well, we'll find out.

So, we are looking in this case for winners of the PGA Player Of The Year.

Your second answer was Brian Snedeker.

Again, it has to be correct, then it has to be pointless.

So, let's find out for £1,000 how many people said Brian Snedeker.

No!

-It's all right. One left. Come on.

-OK, only one more chance.

Everything is now riding on Greg Norman.

Again, it's PGA Player Of The Year. Has he ever won it?

If it's right, if it is pointless, you leave here with £1,000.

Let's find out how many people said Greg Norman.

It's right.

So, Michael Owen, your first answer, was incorrect,

as it turns out, as was your second answer, Brian Snedeker.

Greg Norman now taking us into single figures.

Down we go, still going down...

Oh, no! That is so unfair!

APPLAUSE

Oh!

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Good answer. I mean, a great answer.

Think how pleased you'd be to score 1 in normal game play.

But, I'm sorry to say, in this last round

it has to be pointless or nothing.

I'm afraid you didn't manage to find that all-important pointless answer,

so you don't win today's jackpot of £1,000. That will rollover onto

the next show, but we have enjoyed having you on both shows.

You've been such good sports, really good fun contestants

and you do, of course, get to take home a Pointless trophy,

-so very well done.

-Thank you very much.

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

Yeah, guys, you've been terrific.

It's been a real treat to have you here.

Let's go through what you got wrong there. Michael Owen never won it.

I think you know the problem with Brian Snedeker.

-It's Brandt Snedeker.

-I said that.

And if you'd said Brandt Snedeker, you'd be leaving right now

with exactly what you're leaving with at the moment

cos he never won it either. LAUGHTER

But, especially in the footballers' one,

there's going to be a lot of names you know, the golfers' one as well.

60 seconds is not a lot of time

and these are the names that would have won you the money.

For the golfers...

..you could have had Ben Hogan, Corey Pavin, Curtis Strange,

-you could have had Hal Sutton, Jim Furyk, Mark O'Meara...

-Jim!

You could have had Paul Azinger, you could have had Tom Kite,

so lots of names on that list. Now, the footballers,

this is where you're going to kick yourself...

You could also have had Roy Keane,

you could have had Ruud van Nistelrooy,

Terry McDermott, you could have had Clive Allen,

-David Ginola, Gary Pallister, you could have had.

-Oh!

-I like him going, "Oh!" Les Ferdinand...

-Oh!

You could have had Liam Brady, Mark Hughes, you could have had.

There's not a lot of time.

You could have had Paul McGrath, Peter Reid, Peter Shilton.

And the tennis one, this is the one

where there's the fewest answers. Just the two...

Very well done if you got a pointless answer in any of those.

Guys, thanks for coming and tough luck on that jackpot round.

Thanks, Richard. Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to you, Jon and Olly,

but it's been brilliant having you, Thanks for playing, Jon and Olly.

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

Now, Jon and Olly didn't win our jackpot today,

which means it rolls over onto the next show,

when we will be playing for £2,000.

APPLAUSE

Join us next time to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

..and it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE