Episode 45 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello. I'm Alexander Armstrong, and a very warm welcome to Pointless,

the show where obvious answers mean nothing

and obscure answers mean everything. Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hi, I'm Paul. This is my fiancee Lucy, and we're from Essex.

-Couple number two.

-Hi, I'm David from London,

and this is my dad, who's also David, from Largs in Scotland.

Couple number three.

I'm Gabby, this is my best friend Millie.

-We're students from Cheshire.

-And couple number four.

I'm Paul, this is Mike, and we're from Glasgow.

And these are today's contestants.

Thanks very much. We'll find out more about you throughout the show,

so that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

His autobiography, Osmosis, will be available to buy

as soon as he does something interesting.

-It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-Hiya.

Hi, everybody.

Hiya.

-How are you?

-I'm very well, thank you.

-Excellent.

A familiar line-up - we've got three returning pairs.

Lucy and Paul covered themselves in the most glory last time.

They did very, very well. Went out on a tough head-to-head

against our two head teachers, Brian and Adrian.

It's going to be very tough to beat them, I suspect.

Mike and Paul - knocked out in the first round.

Second round, Millie and Gabby. Millie, a politics student,

got knocked out on a politics question,

which was awkward. She has a lot to do to make up for that today.

But it should be an absolute cracker, I think.

-Lucy and Paul were very strong last time.

-Thanks, Richard.

Now, as always,

all of today's questions have been asked to 100 people,

and our contestants are on the hunt

for one of those all-important Pointless answers -

an answer none of our 100 people gave -

and each time that happens we add £250 to the jackpot.

Brian and Adrian won the jackpot last time

so today's jackpot starts off back at £1,000.

If everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

Remember, the pair with the highest score at the end of the round

will be eliminated.

Our first category today is...

Science. Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

Whoever's going first please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

Chemical elements with a vowel as the second letter of their name.

We're looking for the full name of any chemical element

in the periodic table as of January 2014

which has the second letter as a vowel - A, E, I, O, U.

We won't accept Y.

So any full name which has a vowel as the second letter. Best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed. OK.

So, Paul, welcome back. Ohh!

-Ousted by Liza Minnelli.

-I'm sure she's a great fan of this show.

-Unfortunately, I'm not a great fan of hers...

-Ohh!

She is a big fan. She is a big fan. She will be watching.

OK, so, Paul, right, Chemistry.

How do we feel about that?

Not brilliant, but I've think I've got one I heard on this show

so I'm hoping it is right and I can use it again.

I'm going to go for curium.

Curium. Curium. Sounds good. Let's see if it's right.

Let's see how many people said it if it is.

It's right.

That's a great answer, Paul. Very well done.

Curium scores you three.

Good start to the round.

Good start, Paul. Picked up where you left off last time.

The only chemical element named after two people - Marie and Pierre Curie.

-Thanks. David A, great to have you here. From Largs.

-Yes.

What do you get up to in Largs?

I do lawn bowls, indoor bowling,

play snooker one night a week,

but my big hobby is, I'm a member of Millport Curling Club,

-so I'm a curler.

-You're a curler?

Which is your role? Are you a sweeper or...

I play lead, so in the lead, I play the first two stones

and then sweep for everybody else.

But it's a good game. It is also part of my other passion,

which is malt whisky, so the two of them go together.

Excellent. Now, then, David, Chemistry.

Yes. I've got a few.

I think I'll go for rutherfordium.

Rutherfordium. Sounds good to me. Let's see if it's right.

How many people said rutherfordium?

It's right!

Well, three is our low score at the moment.

Rutherfordium taking us down towards it... Oh, 5!

Very well done indeed.

What a start to the round - 3 and 5.

Well played, David A.

Named after Ernest Rutherford, the British physicist.

They say he had such a loud voice he would make the apparatus shake

as his students were doing experiments, they had to put up

-a sign saying, "Talk softly, please."

-Good stuff. Now, Millie,

-welcome back.

-Hi.

-Let's not talk too much about...

-It's a sore subject!

..William Roosevelt.

We'll draw a veil over that.

Anyway, remind us what you do.

I'm a student.

-I study something in Edinburgh.

-That's right.

Philosophy and, um...

-Politics.

-Politics, that's right. Yeah.

-Chemistry.

-Well,

I got an A-star in chemistry. Let's mention that

so I don't seem so stupid,

so I am going to go for a curve ball, I need to redeem myself,

and I'm going to stay einsteinium.

Einsteinium says Millie. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right.

Well, 5 our high score, 3 our low.

Let's see where einsteinium ends up.

4 - right in the middle!

Very well done indeed, Millie.

Einsteinium.

Well played, Millie. That's a relief, I bet.

You should change degrees. Named after Steve Einstein, of course(!)

LAUGHTER

-Thanks very much. Now, then, Mike.

-Hello.

-Mike, Round One last time.

-A wee bit unlucky, I think.

Yes. A little bit unlucky.

Remind us what you do, Mike.

I'm in the process of setting up a business with my wife.

-It's early days.

-OK.

And you and Paul met in a gift shop?

Yeah, we used to work in a gift shop together.

Worked there for about two-and-a-half years.

What about an art shop? An art supply shop? That'd be fun.

I used to work in an art supply shop many moons ago.

-So you know the ropes?

-Yeah, but it's the practical side of it,

the doing, that I would rather do, than the selling side of things.

Mike, what are you going to go for?

I'm going to take a gamble, but I'm going to go for meitnerium.

-Minerium?

-Meitnerium.

-Meitnerium?

-M-E-I-T...

-..Nerium?

-Yeah.

M... Meitnerium.

Meitnerium. Let's see if it's right

and if it is, let's see how many people said it. Good luck.

It's right!

I think this is going to be a brilliant answer, Mike.

Again, 5 our high score, 3 our low...

Meitnerium is pointless!

CHEERING

Very well done, Mike. That adds £250 to today's jackpot.

Takes the total up to £1,250.

It scores you 0

and earns you the respect of everyone.

That's terrific play.

That's the advantage of coming back twice on this show -

you can get knocked out so early then come back with something like that.

Named after Lise Meitner. The should call in MIKE-nerium from now on

in honour of that answer.

MIKE-nerium. Thank you.

We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at the scores.

0 is the best score. Very well done indeed, Mike.

That puts you and Paul in pole position.

Then we travel up to 3, Paul and Lucy,

4, Millie and Gabby,

-and 5, David A...

-I know!

-David G's got a lot of catching up to do!

Best of luck with that, David G.

We'll see what happens in the next pass.

We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK. We're looking for the name of a chemical element

which has a vowel as its second letter.

Paul C.

Oh, well, you are set up there!

You are set up right up until you give your answer, Paul!

Remind us what you do, Paul.

I work in a call centre,

so the periodic table isn't exactly my specialty.

How long have you done the call centre?

Since graduating, so seven months now.

-And you've enjoyed it?

-Uh-huh...

Yeah. Let's go yes.

We'll go yes. How long are your shifts?

-Not that bad. Only eight hours.

-Eight hours?

-Yeah.

Now, you're on 0, absolutely 0.

If you can score 4 or less,

-you won't even trouble the high scoreboard.

-Uh-huh.

I don't think that's going to happen,

but we'll go with what I know.

So I'm going to go with helium.

Helium? OK.

There's your red line.

Let's see how far down the column you can get with helium.

It's right.

Oh, 39!

39 for helium takes your total up to 39.

Yeah, a big score but a correct answer.

It's the only non metal to end "I-U-M".

Thank you. Now, Gabby. Now, listen, Gabby, we have a goal.

We have a high score of 39.

You're on 4.

34 or less is your target.

But let's just put that to one side for now.

-You are studying in Sheffield.

-Yes.

-Remind us what you're studying.

-French and business management.

Of the two, be honest, business management or French,

which is the one that quickens your heartbeat?

I've got to say French.

I've got to stay loyal to my language.

That's good. Because French is much more fun.

OK, how about chemistry? When did you last learn chemistry?

-GCSEs?

-Mm-hm.

-So about four years ago.

-OK.

I'm going to say iodine.

Iodine.

OK, iodine. You want to score 34 or less.

Helium scored 39. Let's see what iodine scores.

Here is your red line. If you get below that

you're in Round Two.

It's right, obviously.

You've done it! Look at that.

10!

10 takes your total up to 14. You are through to the next round.

Very good answer. Well played. Safely through. Starts with two vowels.

-Very nice, isn't it?

-So it does.

All right. Yes. David G. David G, we come to you.

-David, welcome.

-Thank you.

-You no longer live in Largs.

Did you live in Largs when you were little?

No, I didn't.

At the time, I lived further down the coast.

I grew up in Scotland but have been in London for a long time.

OK. What do you do in London?

I'm an HR manager.

Right, you are. What do you get up to?

What are your hobbies?

The main thing I like doing is going to the theatre.

I go probably two or three times a week.

Excellent. Good for you. You're on 5.

The high score is Paul and Mike, on 39.

33 or less.

I've got some ones that are risky

and this one is, I think, not quite as risky

but I hope it's risky enough to get me down below

so I'm going to say beryllium.

Beryllium. Sounds like a great answer. OK.

Here's your red line.

Get below that, not too low,

you are through to the next round.

Let's see how many people said beryllium.

You've done it, David G! Very well done.

Look at that! 11.

11. 16 your total.

It's six times stronger than steel but lighter than aluminium.

Interesting. Now, Lucy. Lucy!

Phew! Your turn. How many of your best answers

have been taken by other people?

A few, actually. Einsteinium was one of them.

But I've got a few.

I'm not sure if I'm pronouncing them right

so lawrencium and euro...europium.

The one I'm going to go for, cos I'm not sure about them,

is californium.

-Californium.

-Yeah.

-Californium.

OK. When did you last do science, Lucy?

-GCSEs, so over ten years ago.

-Be honest,

-did you learn about californium from Pointless?

-I did.

-So did I.

In fact, I think I learnt about nearly all my chemistry

from Pointless.

OK. There's your red line. If you get below that,

you waltz through to Round Two. Let's find out how many people

said californium.

It's right.

And you're through to the next round.

That's a great answer - 3!

You equal Paul's brilliant answer.

Takes your total up to 6.

Well played, Lucy. 6 points - very impressive.

Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers.

Try and remember some of these, help us get our Nobel prize.

You could have had berkelium, darmstadtium.

There's europium - which is what you were going towards.

It's good you didn't go for it

because we'd have had all sorts of trouble with pronunciations.

Livermorium would have been a pointless answer.

There's meitnerium, or MIKE-nerium,

roentgenium, named after Roentgen.

That would have been a pointless answer.

You could have had...

There's a few others as well.

You could have had copernicium, holmium.

You could have had lanthanum. All of those were pointless answers.

-Very well done if you said any of those.

-Thank you, Richard.

So at the end of our first round, the pair heading home with their

high score of 39 - not that high... I'm so sorry,

you never had your chance to shine.

Anyway, it's been lovely having you on the show.

I'm sorry we're sending you home so soon.

You've been great contestants, Paul and Mike!

But for the remaining pairs, it's time for Round Two.

So, three pairs remain. At the end of this round,

we'll say goodbye to another pair in time for our head-to-head round.

Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two is...

Famous People. Can you all decide

who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. And the question concerns...

People born in 1974.

-Richard.

-On each pass,

we'll show you six clues to people born in 1974.

You just need to give us the most obscure answer, please.

There will be 12 in all to have a go at at home. Best of luck.

Thanks. OK, so we're looking for the names

of these famous people, all of whom were born in 1974,

and here is our first board of six.

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are.

Six famous people born in 1974.

Lucy.

Wow.

I don't really know any of them,

so I'm going to go for Croydon-born supermodel

associated with the "waif" look

and go for Kate Moss.

Kate Moss. Let's see if that's right, and if it is,

let's see how many people said Kate Moss.

It's right.

33.

33 for Kate Moss.

Yeah. A portrait of her by Lucian Freud sold for 3.5 million

-in 2005.

-Thanks very much indeed. OK.

Now, David G.

OK. This is a bit tougher than I thought it might be

because there are fewer people born in 1974

than I remember

but I think I might know the last one of those,

who won the Bafta awards. I think that might be

the wonderful actress Olivia Colman.

Olivia Colman says David G. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

It is right.

Very well done indeed! 4 for Olivia Colman.

You're absolutely right. She's a wonderful actress.

It is a tough board.

She's a wonderful actress but it is a tough board.

Now, Gabby, you're the last person to have this tough board.

Do you think you can talk us through any of it?

Absolutely not!

I did think Olivia Colman might be right

but I'm going to have to take a guess at the Spice Girl

and I'm going to have to go with Mel C.

Mel C. Let's see if that's right and if it is,

let's see how many people said Mel C.

It's absolutely right, very well done.

-23!

-Oh!

-23 for Mel C.

-Well played, Gabby.

Everyone did very well to get through that round.

Let's fill in the rest of the board.

They're all low scorers.

The Australian cricket captain - who would you go for for that?

-Ricky Ponting.

-Ricky Ponting would have scored you 5 points.

The US sprinter, it's tough, well done at home if you said

Maurice Greene, would have scored you 2 points.

The wine expert - he's been on Pointless Celebrities -

he's lovely, Olly Smith, would have scored you 1 point.

Thank you. We're halfway through the round.

4 the best score of that pass.

Very well done indeed, David G.

Then up to 23, where we find Gabby and Millie.

Then up to 33, Lucy and Paul.

Going against the grain there, slightly, as the high scorers

but, Paul, it's in your hands. Can the second players

please step up to the podium?

OK. We're going to put six more famous people up on the board

and here they are. We've got...

I'll read those all one last time.

Remember, we're looking for the names of these famous people,

all of whom were born in 1974. Millie, you're on 23.

If you can score 9 or less,

you'll avoid becoming the new high scorers.

Well, I know one of them, but I don't know his first name

and I've learnt my lesson, so I'm not going to go for him,

I'm going to have to go for the tennis player. It's obvious, risky,

but I'm going to say Tim Henman.

Tim Henman, says Millie.

OK. There's your red line.

If you get below that red line, you are in the head-to-head.

Let's see how many people said Tim Henman.

It's right.

48.

48 for Tim Henman. 71 your total.

Yes. It's going to be a very interesting second pass now.

Four-time semifinalist, also won an Olympic silver medal in doubles.

Thank you, Richard. Now, David A, there you are on 4.

-Yeah.

-71's a high score,

so 66 or less gets you into the head-to-head.

I think I know two.

One of them will be particularly high, I would think,

so I think I'll go for the second-bottom one.

The architect who's presented Restoration Man

and The Empty Homes Show

I think is George Clarke.

George Clarke says David A.

If you can get below that red line with George Clarke,

you're in the head-to-head. Let's find out if it's right.

Let's see how many people said George Clarke.

It's right.

You are in the head-to-head.

1!

1, David A.

That is fantastic. Takes your total up to 5.

Very impressive indeed.

Blimey! The Davids are pretty handy, aren't they?

Two rounds in a row.

Phenomenal answers. Very well played.

OK. Paul. Paul, little bit of pressure on you here.

71 the high score, you're on 33,

so 37 or less sees you through

but you need to find a good low-scoring answer

on that board from what is left.

How do you feel about it?

I know one for definite, which is the played Jay Gatsby,

which would be Leonardo DiCaprio.

I'm unconvinced that'll be less than 30,

so I'd rather have a gamble. I don't know if it's right

and I don't know if I've got the name right,

the stand-up German comedian, I only know one, there's not many,

so I'm going to go for Ralph Honigstein.

-Ralph Honigstein.

-Yeah.

OK. Ralph Honigstein.

There is your red line. Let's see if you are right and if you are,

let's see how many people said it.

Oh, no!

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer, Paul,

which means you score the maximum of 100 points.

Takes your total up to 133.

Yeah, really sorry, Paul, there's more than one German comedian

but there's only one German comedy ambassador born in 1974

and it's the brilliant Henning Wehn,

who we've seen on all sorts of TV shows.

Henning's brilliant. Would have scored you 8 points.

Even worse than that, Jay Gatsby,

played by Leonardo DiCaprio,

but not many people knew it - 16 points it would have scored you.

16. That's really unlucky.

Now, these other two. The US singer who had a 2010 hit,

that's Cee Lo Green.

He would have scored you 14, would have seen you through as well,

-and the Scissor Sisters singer...

-Ana Matronic.

-Ana Matronic, yeah,

and she would have scored 4 points.

So George Clarke, David, best answer on that board.

So, at the end of our second round, the pair heading home,

I'm so sorry, so unfair,

to discover that you could have got through, with a high score of 133,

Paul and Lucy. It's been brilliant having you on both shows.

Thank you so much for playing. Brilliant contestants,

Paul and Lucy.

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for the head-to-head.

Congratulations, David and David, Gabby and Millie,

you're one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot,

which currently stands at...

Now, we have to decide who's going to play for that money

and to do that, you are now going to go head to head.

The big difference is, you are now allowed to confer.

The first person to win two questions will play for the jackpot.

I think this will be a very hard-fought head-to-head.

Let's play it.

OK. Here comes your first question, and it concerns...

Queen Songs.

Queen Songs, the famous Queen from...

Queen Songs. Richard?

We're going to show you five images now, all of which are visual clues

that will lead you to a title of Queen song.

Which Queen song is most accurately represented by the images

-you are about to see? Good luck.

-OK.

Let's reveal our five Queen songs in visual-clue form

and here they are. We have got...

There we are. Five Queen songs.

Now, David and David, you played best throughout the show so far,

so you will go first.

Feel free to confer.

-Which one?

-B.

-OK, em...

Yeah, thinking laterally is not very easy under these circumstances,

so...

So I'm going to say the one thing that I can see,

which is a hammer in B

and I think that might be Hammer To Fall.

Hammer To Fall, say the Davids, for B. Hammer To Fall.

Now then, Gabby and Millie, the board is all yours.

Do you want to talk us through it?

-Do you know it?

-Yeah, I think I know three of them. A is Bicycle.

Oh, yeah!

LAUGHTER

-C is We Are The Champions.

-And D is We Will Rock You.

And then Radio Ga Ga.

-E. I like E.

-We're going to go for E, Radio Ga Ga.

E, Radio Ga Ga.

So, we have Hammer To Fall and we have Radio Ga Ga.

David and David said that B was Hammer To Fall.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said Hammer To Fall.

It's right.

Still falling.

There we are, 22.

22 for Hammer To Fall,

so that is what you have to beat, Gabby and Millie,

when you say that E is Radio Ga Ga.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said that.

It's right.

Is it going to be...?

Ooh, 35!

35 for a Radio Ga Ga.

Two excellent answers there,

but the Davids pip it and, after one question, they are up 1-0.

Well played, both teams.

Only one answer would have beaten Hammer To Fall. That's the top one.

It's not called Bicycle, though.

It's called Bicycle Race. It would have scored you 16 points.

A very good answer.

C is, I think as you all knew, We Are The Champions.

Would have scored you 82. John Terry just out of shot there.

And D is We Will Rock You.

And that would have scored 54 points.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. So here comes your second question.

Gabby and Millie, you get to answer this one first,

but you have to win it to stay in the game, so best of luck.

It concerns...

-LAUGHTER

-Yep, rabbits.

-Richard?

-Yeah, why not, eh?

We're going to show you five clues now to facts relating to rabbits.

Can you give us the most obscure answer here? Good luck.

-OK, let's reveal our...

-You know what? What do you want it from me?

Yeah, you write the questions!

Let's reveal our rabbit-based facts and here they are.

We have got...

I'll read those all again.

There we are. Five clues to fact about rabbits.

Gaby and Millie will go first.

THEY CONFER

OK, we're going to relive our childhood

and say that the top one is Thumper.

OK, Thumper. Thumper say Gabby and Millie.

David and David, do you think you could talk us through the board?

The third one, a male rabbit, I think it's called a buck.

-I think the bottom one is a warren.

-That would make sense.

Do you think buck or warren is better?

I think we'll go for the buck.

I'm not sure either is as good as Thumper.

No, we'll go for the bottom one. Warren.

You're going to go for warren. OK, warren.

So we have Thumper versus warren. Gabby and Millie said Thumper.

Let's see if that's right and let's see how many people said Thumper.

It's right.

50.

50 for Thumper. The Davids have said warren.

Let's see if that's right

and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 said warren.

It's right.

63 for Warren!

APPLAUSE

Which means well done, Gabby and Millie,

you are back in the game after two questions. It's 1-1.

Yeah, you're right about buck as well,

but that wouldn't have got you through either

because that scored 60 points.

Buck the name for a male rabbit, also a male deer, male ferret,

male rat, male kangaroo. Buck.

60 points.

Now, the title of Margery Williams's 1922 children's book

is The Velveteen Rabbit, yeah. It's a beautiful book.

Sort of about what it means to be real and rather a moving story.

7 points for that.

There's a pointless answer up there. The decade...

Do you want to have a guess at that one? It's a pointless answer.

-1920s?

-1900s?

1900s is the right answer. Yeah, pointless answer.

Very well done if you said that at home.

Thanks very much indeed.

OK, now, here comes your third question. This is the decider.

Whoever wins this goes through to the final

and plays for that jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs. It concerns...

Authors With Three Names. Richard?

I'm going to show you the names of five authors, all of whom

are commonly known by three names but we've missed out the middle one.

Can you fill in the gaps, please?

The team with the most obscure answer

is going through to play for the jackpot, so very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed.

OK, let's reveal our five authors and here they come.

I'll read those all one last time.

Now, the Davids will go first again this time.

THEY CONFER

-I think that's probably the best that I can do.

-I think you're right.

I think you're right.

Go for it.

We are going to go for the third one, which is, I think,

Alexander McCall Smith.

McCall Smith say the Davids, McCall Smith.

So, Gabby and Millie, the board is all yours.

-Well, you do literature, so you do your thing.

-I don't...

You were better than me at school.

The top one, I think, is Frances Hodgson Burnett,

who wrote The Secret Garden.

OK, that's the one you're going to go for. Hodgson Burnett.

We have McCall Smith and Hodgson Burnett.

The Davids have gone for Alexander McCall Smith.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, how many people said it.

It's right.

11!

Good score.

Gabby and Millie have gone for Frances Hodgson Burnett.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, how many people said that.

11 is what you have to beat.

It's absolutely right.

How far down is it going to go? Is it going to beat 11?

Oh, 22!

22, which means, David and David, after three questions,

you are through to the final 2-1. Very well done indeed.

A valiant effort, Gabby and Millie, but well played, the Davids.

There are two answers that would have beaten them.

The bottom one wouldn't. That's Robert Louis Stevenson.

That would have scored you 73 points. But the other two would have done.

It's Joyce... Do you know that one?

-I don't know that one.

-Joyce Carol Oates.

She would have scored you 7.

And the crime writer James Lee Burke.

That would have scored you 5 points.

Thank you very much indeed.

So, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round is,

I'm afraid, Gabby and Millie. Well, what a performance!

Great, really good show today, done very well indeed.

But I'm afraid you came up against the Davids

who JUST beat you there. Thank you so much for playing. It's been great

having you on the show. Thanks so much, Gabby and Millie.

APPLAUSE

But for David and David, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, David and David, you fought off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

and, at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £1,250.

As always, you get to choose your category for this round

and there are four options to choose from. They are...

-What do you want to go for?

-We'll go for East Londoners.

-East Londoners.

-East Londoners.

Best of luck. That's what they're going for.

OK, good luck. Three very different questions here,

so hopefully one of them suits you.

We are looking for the names of

any of the West Ham players who won the 1980 FA Cup.

That includes substitutes who came on,

not substitutes who didn't come on.

We're looking for the names of any cast members

of the first-ever episode of EastEnders,

so any actor credited in that first-ever episode of EastEnders.

Or we are looking for the name of

any feature film made for cinema release for which Danny Dyer

has received an acting credit up to January 2014, please.

So, any of the West Ham United 1980 FA Cup winning team,

any of the first EastEnders cast or any Danny Dyer film.

Very best of luck.

OK. Now, as always, you've got up to one minute

to come up with three answers and, to win that jackpot,

all you have to do is find just one pointless answer

among those three. Now, remember,

the answers you provide can come from any of those categories.

They could all be EastEnders cast, they could all be Danny Dyer films

or they could be one of each, it's entirely down to you.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock. There they are.

Your time starts now.

-Well, I don't know any Danny Dyer films.

-OK, I know...

I could come up with several names for people

in the first EastEnders cast.

Many of them are not going to be pointless,

-but someone like Bill Treacher, I think, who played...

-Teacher?

No, Treacher, I think,

who was in there and John Altman, who is probably...

These probably aren't pointless.

-Do you know anyone from West Ham United?

-The only one

would be Trevor Brooking, but I think he's probably...

Can we go back to sitcoms, please?

LAUGHTER

So, there is Bill Treacher, June Brown is too obvious. Em...

-Er...

-John Altman...

-Anna Wing was in...was Lou Beale.

So I think these might be our best bet, if we go for...

-Ten seconds left.

-Bill Treacher, Anna Wing and John Altman.

-Yeah.

-We might as well give those a try.

-Give them a try.

OK, well, even before your time is up,

you have landed on your three answers. Just give me those again.

-OK, so, we are going for Bill Treacher.

-Bill Treacher.

-Anna Wing.

-Anna Wing.

-And John Altman.

-And John Altman.

-They are all EastEnders cast members.

-OK, of those three

EastEnders cast members, which do you think is your most obscure?

The most obscure is probably Bill Treacher.

Bill Treacher, we will pop him last.

-John Altman, I'm not so sure about.

-John Altman is probably...

John Altman is probably the most obvious one.

-OK, so John Altman we will put first.

-Yes.

OK, let's pop those up on the board in that order and here they are.

We have got John Altman, Anna Wing and Bill Treacher.

Well, very, very best of luck.

Three excellent answers up there on the board,

let's hope at least one of those is pointless.

Your first answer was John Altman.

This was the one you thought was least likely to be pointless,

but you never know, it could be.

If you were to win that jackpot, £1,250, what would you spend it on?

For me, my partner and I had our house done up

a couple of years ago and the builders left

a lot of very useful building materials in our back garden.

Two years later, they are still there and I'd quite

like the garden to become a garden again rather than a builders' yard.

OK. Very good.

David, I have a hunch there's going to be some malt whisky involved in this.

That would be number-one priority,

but I think I would have to take my wife a holiday first, I think.

Well, take her to Speyside.

We could take her on holiday with our malt whisky.

OK, there you are. There you are. Best of luck.

As I say, three good answers there. John Altman was your first.

Let's find out. John Altman.

In all three cases here, we are looking for

original cast members of EastEnders

from the first episode ever transmitted.

Let's find out. John Altman, is that right?

And, if it is, how many people said it?

It is right.

Down it goes. Tearing through the 40s and 30s,

the 20s,

into the teens...

If this goes all the way to 0...

Oh, 1!

1 for John Altman!

APPLAUSE

Well...unfortunately, not a pointless answer,

but I have to say, it is looking very good for your next two answers.

John Altman you thought was far and away

the best known of those three names,

so let's see where we get with your next answer, which is Anna Wing.

Obviously, this has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot,

so for £1,250, let's see how many people named

Anna Wing as a cast member from the first-ever episode of EastEnders.

It's right.

Well, your first answer, John Altman,

took us all the way down to 1.

Anna Wing now taking us

down through the 20s, down through the teens

into single figures, still...

Oh, 1 again!

-Oh!

-APPLAUSE

A WING and a prayer!

-APPLAUSE

-Which means...

everything is now riding on your third and final answer,

Bill Treacher.

Oh, best of luck! Please, please can this go down to a pointless.

You said this was your most confident shot

at a pointless answer.

-It has to be pointless.

-I thought so!

It has to be pointless for you to win the jackpot.

For £1,250, let's find out how many people

said Bill Treacher was in that first episode of EastEnders.

It's right.

So, John Altman took us all the way down to 1,

then Anna Wing took us all the way down to 1.

Bill Treacher now taking us into single figures...

Oh, no!

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Oh, I'm sorry!

Oh!

That...

That, I think, is one of the unkindest last rounds

I have witnessed for ages.

1, 1, 1.

Oh, I was sure that one of those last two, at least, was going to go down to pointless.

Unfortunately, you didn't manage to find that pointless answer,

which means you don't win today's jackpot of £1,250.

That will roll over on to the next show, but, my goodness,

you have been fantastic the whole way through the show

and you do get to take home a Pointless trophy each,

so at least there is that to take home, but very, very well done.

Guys, that is... That doesn't happen very often.

That's the best you can possibly play without winning the money,

I'm afraid, and you played terrifically all the way through.

Let's see the pointless answers in all the different categories.

We'll start with the West Ham team.

There were only four pointless answers here.

David Cross, who I know watches the show,

he has tweeted me before about various answers.

Geoff Pike, as well, was a pointless answer.

Phil Parkes, the goalie.

Ray Stewart, the defender, he was a pointless answer as well.

Let's look at EastEnders. There's four pointless answers here.

Leonard Fenton who played Dr Legg was a pointless answer.

Nejdet Salih, who played Ali Osman, my namesake.

Sandy Ratcliff, she played Sue Osman, Ali's wife, she was pointless.

And Shreela Ghosh, who played Naima, she was pointless as well.

Well done if you said any of those.

And the final one, Danny Dyer films.

He's been in a lot of films, Danny Dyer.

Adulthood, follow-up to Kidulthood.

Freerunner, High Heels And Low Lifes with Minnie Driver.

Malice In Wonderland. All of those were pointless answers.

There is a couple of others you could have had.

You could have had Goodbye Charlie Bright, The Rapture,

Greenfingers, Jack Said and Tabloid, all pointless answers.

Very well done if you said that. So unlucky, guys.

It's been such a pleasure having you on the show.

And in some ways, getting three one-point answers puts you down

in Pointless history, it just doesn't fill the pockets, I'm afraid.

Thanks very much indeed. Unfortunately, we have to say

goodbye to you, David and David, but we've loved having you on the show.

You have been absolutely fantastic, thank you so much for playing.

David and David!

Very, very sadly and very unluckily, the Davids didn't

win the jackpot today, which means it rolls over on to the next show

when we will be playing for £2,250.

Join us next time to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.