Episode 47 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong.

Welcome to Pointless -

the show where we are always striving

to find the most obscure answers. Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

Couple number one.

Hi, I'm Bill, this is my partner Josie.

We're from Triangle in West Yorkshire.

-Couple number two.

-Hi I'm Stuart, I'm from the Isle of Wight.

This is my dad Mick from Leicester.

-Couple number three.

-Hi, I'm James from Doncaster.

This is my best friend John from Sheffield.

Couple number four.

I'm Sylvie. This is my friend Pam. We're from Brighton.

These are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much, all of you.

We'll find out more about each of you throughout the show.

That just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

The most humble genius Britain has ever produced,

according to his personal Twitter biog.

-It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-Hiya.

Hi, everybody. APPLAUSE

Afternoon.

-Good afternoon to you.

-And to you.

-How are you?

I'm very well, thank you. How are you?

I'm happy we've got three returning pairs today, which is nice.

Stuart and Mick are the pair to beat, I think.

Got all the way through to the head-to-head last time, did well.

They're going to be tough.

Question one today is one of those ones I've been storing up,

had it in my back pocket for a long time. Very good question.

-It was brought to me in a dream by my Native American spirit guide.

-Wow.

I've saved it for many, many years now.

-You've literally been sitting on it.

-I've literally been sitting on it.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Every question on Pointless has been put to 100 people before the show.

Today's contestants are, of course, looking for a pointless answer -

an answer that none of our 100 people gave.

Find one of those and we'll add 250 quid to the jackpot.

Now, Sally and Sarah didn't win the jackpot last time,

so we add another £1,000 to that.

So today's jackpot starts off at...

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

OK, all you have to remember is that the pair

with the highest score at the end of this round will be eliminated.

Remember, score as low as you possibly can.

Our first category today is...

Famous People.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, the question concerns...

-Pretty good, right?

-Famous... Very good.

-Worth waiting for?

Oh, yeah. Are you kidding? Yes!

Yep.

On each board, we're going to show you seven descriptions

of famous people called Eric. You just have to tell us

who they are, please. There's going to be seven on each board.

14 Erics to guess at home. Very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed.

We're looking for the famous Erics listed on this board.

Here is our first board of seven.

ALEXANDER READS OPTIONS

I'll read those all one last time.

ALEXANDER READS OPTIONS

There we are. Seven famous Erics. Bill, welcome back to Pointless.

Good to have you here.

What happened last time, Bill?

Got through the first round, we dipped out in the second round.

We got the questions right, but just a bit too high point-wise.

Yeah, you didn't put a foot wrong, they were just a bit high.

Now, then, what do you think of the spirit guide

and the round that was suggested?

Well, I can only say I'm glad I'm on number one,

cos I only know one of them.

-OK.

-That, of course, is the top one.

The party doubled up with Ernie Wise was Eric Morecambe.

Eric Morecambe, says Bill.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said Eric Morecambe.

It's right.

72. Better than 99.

72 for Eric Morecambe.

Yeah, a big score, but better than 100.

Good answer, did exactly what you needed to do.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

OK, Stuart, welcome back to the show. Good to have you here.

Now, you were head-to-head-ers last time.

-Yes.

-That was quite a close head-to-head as well.

-Anyhow, remind us what you do.

-I'm a youth worker.

-On the Isle of Wight.

-Yes.

-Do you make use of its island-ness?

-Do you sail and things like that?

-No.

I've only actually been swimming in the sea twice in eight years,

but I do come from Leicester and we don't really understand the sea.

We're so far from it.

Fair enough. So what about these Erics?

Yeah, I know a couple.

I'm going to go for Pickles, who is the Secretary of State.

OK, Pickles, Eric Pickles.

You get a slap from Mick for that.

Let's see if it's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Eric Pickles.

It's right.

Ooh, down it goes. 34.

Very well done indeed, Stuart.

-34 for Eric Pickles.

-Yeah, good answer.

Of course, he was embroiled in a scandal

when it was shown his department spent £40,000 on biscuits.

He said it was an administrative error,

but now everyone's banned from eating taxpayer-funded biscuits.

No-one more upset about that than Eric, I should think.

-I don't think he's happy.

-No. Well, you know,

a meeting's not really a proper meeting without a Rich Tea, is it?

-Really?

-That's true.

Although, if you have a meeting with just Rich Teas, you kind of think,

-"Oh, I don't know about that."

-I never eat them,

but I'm always a bit disappointed if they're not there for me to ignore.

LAUGHTER

There's always that thing if you go into a meeting

and there's a plateful of biscuits, you fancy one.

You have to wait for someone to have one first. That's slightly annoying.

If no-one has them, if everyone's on the 5:2 Diet or something

and no-one touches them, you've got an hour where you think,

"I can't even have a biscuit and I really want one."

There's a Jammie Dodger, there's a Bourbon...

-There might even be one wrapped up in foil.

-Oh!

-Oh!

-Can you imagine?

-Those kind of meetings, I like.

A meeting where there's a biscuit wrapped up in foil

-that you cannot have?

-Oh.

-That's like being a child on Christmas Eve.

-Anyway, thanks very much indeed. John, welcome to the show.

-Hello.

Good to have you here. From Sheffield.

-Yes.

-What do you get up to?

I sing and play in a band called Polkadodge,

-which is an interesting word.

-Polkadodge.

-Yeah.

-One word?

-Yeah. It got rejected from the dictionary.

It's when you try and go past someone and you go the same way,

-you do that awkward dance...

-Polkadodge. That's good.

-Why not?

-How's it going with the band?

-Good, it's going all right.

-What's happening, are you gigging at the moment?

-Yeah, a bit of BBC play

-and we've got a nice gig in Sheffield on Saturday.

-Very good.

-Best of luck.

-Thank you.

-Polkadodge. Polkadodge.

Anyway, there we go. John, Erics?

I'm going to go for...

I don't know if it's the right Eric, but I only know of this Eric.

-Lead Guitarist in rock trio Cream, Eric Clapton.

-Clapton.

OK, let's see if that's right, Eric Clapton.

If it is, let's see how many people said it.

Absolutely right, of course.

30.

30 for Eric Clapton, the lowest score so far.

Yeah, it's a good answer.

Came second in Rolling Stone's list - The Greatest Guitarists of All Time.

Wow. Sylvie.

-Yes.

-Sylvie, welcome back to the show. It was round one last time.

-We were, yes.

-Round one.

-Remind us what you do, Sylvie, what you get up to.

-Well, I'm retired.

-Indeed, but you told us last time you're...

-I'm an embroiderer.

-A winner of many prizes.

-Well, some.

Winner of some prizes.

Sylvie, you're the last person to have this board.

There are four unanswered Erics there.

-Yes, I think I know two of them.

-Talk us through them.

Well, I think the historian is Eric Hobsbawm.

I think the Scottish athlete is Eric Liddell.

I'm going to go for Eric Liddell cos I'm more certain of that one.

OK, well, let's find out. Eric Liddell, says Sylvie.

Let's see if it's right, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

Very well done indeed, Sylvie, the best score of the round by a margin.

Look at that, 11.

Terrific answer, Sylvie. Very well played.

Let's fill in the rest of this board.

The Australian actor who played Bruce Banner in Hulk is Eric Bana.

It would have scored you 14 points.

The actor who played Will Truman is Eric McCormack.

A very good answer. Would have scored you 4 points.

-Sylvie, you would have gone for Eric Hobsbawm if we'd forced you?

-Yeah.

Correct...and pointless.

GROANING

That would have been a great... You gave us a great answer anyway.

I've read all his books,

but I wasn't absolutely sure that that was how you said the name.

Thank you very much, Richard.

We're halfway through the round, let's take a look at those scores.

11 the best score of that pass. Very well done, Sylvie.

That puts you and Pam in pole position.

Then up to 30 where we find John and James. 34, Stuart and Mick.

72, Bill and Josie.

So a little bit on your shoulders there, Josie, in the next pass.

But best of luck. A nice low score might keep you in the game.

We're going to come back down the line.

Could the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, we've now got seven more clues to Erics up on the board.

Here they come. We have got...

ALEXANDER READS OPTIONS

I'll read those all one last time.

ALEXANDER READS OPTIONS

There we are. Seven Erics.

Pam, we're looking for the most obscure of those Erics.

There you are, you're on 11.

Brilliant scoring from Sylvie in the first pass.

Yes, but it might go up a bit now.

OK, well, listen, the high scorers, Josie and Bill on 72,

mean 60 or less means you won't even be the high scorers.

I'm going for the French footballer. I think it was Eric Cantona.

Eric Cantona. There is your red line, Pam.

If you get below that, you are definitely in round two.

Let's see how many people said Eric Cantona.

It's right.

Wow, you've done it. Look, you've done it. Look at that, 48.

Very well done indeed, Pam.

-Did what you needed to do. 59 is your total.

-Well played, Pam.

They held the same poll ten years later and he didn't win it that time.

Ryan Giggs won it that time.

-Thanks very much, Richard. Now then, James.

-Yep.

James, Welcome to Pointless. What do you do, James?

-I'm a supply chain analyst for a supermarket.

-Which means you...?

I forecast sales and order stock for the supermarket.

So you see what the little trends are and you think,

this summer it is all going to be about frozen yoghurt.

Absolutely, yeah. Sandwich fillers at the moment, though.

Oh, you lucky thing.

What are the big sandwich fillings going to be for...? Just between us.

I would probably say...

It's a classic, but cheese and onion is having a comeback at the moment.

-In a sandwich?

-Yeah.

In a crisp, I'd buy that, but in a sandwich?

-It's not my first choice...

-Is it like red onion?

A bit kinder on the breath.

It's a standard cheese and onion 160 gram filling.

It's going mad, I can't keep pace with it at the moment.

Wow.

160 gram. That's a...

That's a...heck of a lot of cheese and onion.

-It's a full sandwich.

-I'm not worried about the cheese,

it's the onion. It troubles me.

Anyway, there we go. We'll talk about this later.

James, there you are on 30. The high scorers remain Josie and Bill on 72.

41 or less sees you comfortably into the next round.

What are you going to say?

Em... I was going to have a risk, but I am going to play it safe

and go five-time darts champion, Eric Bristow.

Eric Bristow.

OK, interesting to see. Eric Cantona scored 48.

Let's see what Eric Bristow scores. There's your red line.

If you get below that, you are definitely in the next round.

It's right.

50.

50 for Eric Bristow, takes your total up to 80.

Yeah, Eric Bristow beats Eric Cantona.

That might be the most British thing that's ever happened on the show.

Yeah. OK, now, Mick. Mick, welcome back to the show.

We discovered last time that you are a retired butcher.

What do you like getting up to? What are your hobbies, Mick?

I'm a season ticket holder at Leicester City,

which is doing rather well at the moment.

-Excellent.

-I was thinking about James,

he's probably cheesed off with that subject, but...

-Sorry about that.

-That's good.

-Didn't go down very well.

-You should see what cheese and onion does.

OK, Mick, there we are.

The high scorers are now James and John on 80, you're on 34,

which means 45 or less gets you into the next round.

It's got to be another head-to-head, surely, for Mick and Stuart.

Hopefully. I know two. I'm just...

Member of Monty Python, Eric Idle.

Eric Idle. OK, Eric Idle. There is your red line.

If you get below that, you're in the next round.

Let's see how many people said Eric Idle.

It's right.

52. 52 takes your total up to 86.

Again, nudging up from Bristow as well. It's been a high-scoring round.

A very exciting round now as well, for podium four.

Thanks very much indeed.

Now, Josie, remind us what you like getting up to.

Walking, reading.

-Slimming.

-Slimming?

-Yes.

You like slimming?

-Well, I'm at my goal weight now, so I'm taking it easy.

-Oh, that's easy.

-I have lost six and a half stone.

-Wow!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Many congratulations, that's fantastic.

I see what you mean.

That's fun.

Anyway, anyway, we've got some Erics waiting for us.

-Josie, talk us through the board.

-No, don't know anybody.

I'll go for a guess, and it is a guess - comedy actor

and writer Eric Sykes.

Eric Sykes, says Josie. Let's see if that's right.

The high score at the moment is 86, which is Mick and Stuart.

You're on 72.

13 or less gets you into the next round.

-Bill, that's a good answer, isn't it, Eric Sykes?

-Mm-mm.

LAUGHTER

It's right, but it's not good.

Ooh, that's a good catchphrase, isn't it?

-It's right, but it's not good.

-It's right, but it's not good.

There is your red line.

If you get below that with Eric Sykes, you're in the next round.

Let's see what happens. Eric Sykes.

It is right.

Oh! Bad luck. 30.

Takes your total up to 102. I'm sorry, Josie.

Yeah, the great Eric Sykes.

Those glasses he wore, famously, were a hearing aid rather than glasses.

They were a disguised hearing aid cos his hearing was so poor.

Let's look through the rest of these.

The writer and illustrator of The Very Hungry Caterpillar was

Eric Carle. Would have scored you 8 points.

The Swedish DJ and producer was Eric Prydz.

He would have scored you 9 points.

I bet I can get you to get the answer to this US actor,

-giving you just two clues.

-Go on, then.

-OK. Clue one.

-Yes.

This is a round called Famous Erics.

Clue two. He is Julia Roberts' brother.

Is he called Eric...Roberts?

-Ah, very good.

-Get out of there, get out of town. Look at that.

-What about that?

-There he is.

-Wow.

That's the best answer up there,

so well done if you said that without the clues.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

At the end of our first round, I'm afraid the pair heading home

with their high score of 102, it's Josie and Bill. There we are.

Well, it's been lovely having you on both shows.

Thanks so much for playing. Josie and Bill.

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for round two.

So three pairs remain. Obviously at the end of this round,

that'll be whittled down to two pairs for our head-to-head round.

Best of luck to all three pairs. Our category for round two today is...

African Countries. Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

..as they could.

African countries whose names do not contain the letter I.

We are looking for the name of any country on the African mainland,

that's the African mainland, that's important,

whose normal short form name in English

does not contain the letter I. As always, by country,

we mean a member of the UN that is a sovereign state in its own right.

Thank you.

-So, yes, Stuart.

-Hi.

-Stuart, hi.

Now, African countries.

I'm going to say Ghana.

Ghana. OK, Ghana says Stuart. Let's see if it's right

and let's see how many of our 100 people said Ghana.

It's right.

28.

Straight in there, Stuart. No mucking about.

You can tell he's been in round two before.

In 2010 they became so close to becoming the first ever

African nation in the World Cup semifinal.

Luis Suarez did them out of it.

-Thanks very much. Now, James.

-Yep.

-James, African countries.

-I'm going to go for Chad.

-Chad, says James.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 said Chad.

It's right.

21.

Well done with Chad.

Well done, James. In North Central Africa.

Lake Chad, which is huge, used to be part of a much larger sea,

which was called Mega Chad.

Mega Chad.

OK, now, Sylvie.

I think I'm going to go for Morocco.

Morocco, says Sylvie. Let's see if that's right

and if it is let's see how many of our 100 people said Morocco.

It's right.

40.

40 for Morocco.

Well played, Sylvie.

It's quite scary to go for a country with a longer name, isn't it?

Something like Chad is nice to go for when you've got to avoid Is,

but Morocco with three syllables, I'd be a bit frightened to go for it.

OK, thank you very much indeed.

So we're halfway through the round, let's take a look at those scores.

21 the best score of that pass, James.

Very well done indeed there with Chad.

Then up to 28 where we find Stuart and Mick.

Then up to 40 where we find Sylvie and Pam.

You're not way ahead, but you are ahead.

Pam, you know what we need. Good stuff.

We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, now, Pam, we are

looking for any African country that does not contain the letter I

in its name.

-Togo.

-Togo says Pam. You're on 40. You're the high scorers.

Let's hope this goes down as far as it possibly can.

No red line for you. Let's see how many people said Togo. Is it right?

It is right.

Well, Chad scored 21.

You go lower than that. Way lower. Look at that.

6! Very well done indeed.

Good work, Pam. Togo takes your total up to 46.

That's a terrific answer, Pam. Well played.

Puts a lot of pressure on the other pairs now.

-OK, now, John.

-Yeah.

-It does put a lot of pressure on.

-Doesn't it?

21 you're on. You have to score 24 or less.

Mm-hmm. Em...

I'm going to go with Senegal.

Senegal, says John. Senegal. There's your red line, John.

If you get below that, you're in the head-to-head.

Let's see how many people said Senegal.

It's right.

Very well done. Through you go. Look at that, 11.

11 takes your total up to 32, through you go.

Well played, John. Very nice play. Yes, Senegal.

It's almost an anagram of lasagne, but not quite.

LAUGHTER

It's frustrating.

Any one you would think you were fasting today or something.

-All this talk of biscuits, sandwich fillings, lasagne.

-Lasagne.

-Yeah.

-Mm.

I love it when it's really creamy with a bit of...

HE IMITATES GRATING NOISE

..Cheddar cheese on top.

Bubbling a little bit.

That's how I like it.

With peas and salad.

LAUGHTER

Now, Mick. 28 is your score, 46 the high score.

Pam and Sylvie find themselves there still.

If you can score 17 or less,

you're in the head-to-head for the second time.

No pressure there, then.

Well, sorry about this, Stu. I'm not sure how you spell it.

I'm not sure if it's still the name of the country,

but I'm going to go for Botswana.

Botswana. Botswana. OK. There is your red line.

If you get below that with Botswana, you're in the head-to-head.

Let's find out how many people said Botswana.

It's right.

Down it goes, still going.

You've done it. Look at that, 15!

You needed 17. 15, you've got.

43 is your total, you are in the head-to-head.

Very well done indeed, Mick, very exciting.

Well played, Mick. Great round from everyone there.

It's a shame to go out on 46, terrific stuff.

There's no pointless answers at all, you won't be surprised to hear.

I'll go through some of the scores for you.

Gabon would have scored you 4.

Togo, then is actually the next best answer. It's a terrific answer.

Very unfortunate.

South Sudan would have scored you 7. Lesotho, 8.

Cameroon would have scored you 11, Rwanda

and Uganda both would have scored you 12.

You got 15 for Angola.

20 for Congo. You'd have got 24 for Sudan.

You would have got 45 for Kenya and 46 for Egypt.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. So at the end of our second round,

I'm afraid the pair heading home with a relatively low score of 46,

and with that wonderful answer from you, Pam,

the second best answer available, Togo.

I'm really sorry.

Not deserving to be leaving us at all but as high scorers,

we have to say goodbye to you

but thank you so much for playing both shows.

It's been great to have you here. Pam and Sylvie.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for the head-to-head.

Congratulations, John and James, Stuart and Mick,

you are now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot which currently stands at...

So, to decide who's going to play for that money,

you are now going to go head-to-head.

The difference being you're now allowed to confer before you

give your answers and the first pair to win two questions will be playing for that money.

It should be very close indeed. Very exciting.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

OK, here comes your first question and it concerns...

Sports movies, Richard.

We're going to show you five stills now from films which feature sports.

Can you tell us the name of the films, please?

OK, let's reveal our five stills and here they come. We have got...

OK, five stills from movies featuring sports.

Now, John and James, you've played best throughout the show

so far so you will go first.

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

We know quite a few.

We're going to go for C, Escape To Victory.

C, Escape To Victory.

Now, Stuart and Mick.

We know Cool Running is B.

We think E is Wimbledon, I'm not sure on D.

It might be Senna but I'm not sure,

I know there was a film called Senna but I know there's a different one.

So, we'll go for Cool Running.

Cool Running, you're saying Cool Running for B.

OK, so, John and James, you are saying C is Escape To Victory.

Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many people said that.

It's right.

14.

APPLAUSE

Very good indeed. 14 for Escape To Victory.

Stuart and Mick are saying Cool Running is what B is.

Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many people said Cool Running.

Ooh. Bad luck.

Stuart and Mick, I'm afraid I have a hunch I think

I know why that is incorrect but, yes, that means John and James

win that point so, after one question, John and James are up 1-0.

Yeah, sorry, usually a little bit of leeway but it's such a famous film,

it's Cool Runnings, I'm afraid, not Cool Running.

But it would have scored too many anyway,

so, 52 points for Cool Runnings.

Um, let's take a look at the rest of the board.

A is Drew Barrymore's directorial debut,

it's Whip It, set in the world of roller derbies.

It's American so they're "der-bies", rather than "dar-bies."

D, it's not Senna, Senna's a documentary, that's Rush,

about the life of James Hunt.

That's James Hunt and Niki Lauda being portrayed there.

That would've scored you 20 points, terrific film as well.

And E, you were right, it's Wimbledon but would've scored 37 points.

Thanks very much indeed. OK, here comes your second question.

Stuart and Mick, you get to answer this one first

but you have to win it to stay in the game so best of luck.

It concerns...

The Victorian Era, Richard.

We're going to show you five clues now to facts about people

and the culture of the Victorian era.

Can you give us the most obscure answer? Good luck.

OK, thanks, Richard. Let's reveal our five clues and here they are.

We have got...

ALEXANDER READS CLUES

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Stuart and Mick, you will go first.

Yeah, OK, we'll go for Mrs Beeton for the cookery book.

OK, Mrs Beeton, say Stuart and Mick.

Now, then, John and James, do you want to talk us

through the rest of the board?

I've got Miss Lemon in my head but that's not,

-that's Poirot, for landlady.

-And he loves Sherlock Holmes.

I know, can't believe it. Chief engineer, that's Brunel.

We'll go for Brunel, chief engineer of the Great Western Railway.

OK, you're saying Brunel. I'm going to ask you to elaborate on that.

Isonard Brunel?

-That's elaboration.

-I'm happy with that.

-Good.

Stuart and Mick said Mrs Beeton. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many people said Mrs Beeton.

It's right.

52.

APPLAUSE

52.

Now, then, John and James, you've struggled a bit with Brunel's

first names and you've said Isonard Brunel.

Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

Ooh.

Bad luck. But well done, Stuart and Mick,

you've done exactly what you needed to do.

After two questions, you are back in the game, it's 1-1.

Yeah, I couldn't take it cos he's even more famous than Cool Runnings.

-He's Isambard Kingdom Brunel.

-See, isn't 'ard.

LAUGHTER

I know the bottom one now, which is annoying.

Let's fill in the rest of this board, shall we?

I think you probably knew some of the others.

You're right, so the chief engineer of the Great Western Railway,

Isambard Kingdom Brunel, would've scored you 47 points as well.

It would've beaten Mrs Beeton.

-Eh, now, the name of Sherlock Holmes' landlady...

-Mrs Hudson.

Mrs Hudson and would've seen you through to the jackpot

round as well, it's quite a low scorer.

Would've scored 18 points.

The Elizabeth Gaskell novel?

-Cranford.

-Cranford, yep.

Would've scored you 13 points.

And the first woman awarded the Order of Merit, if you had to guess...?

Florence Nightingale?

Florence Nightingale is the right answer, yeah. Would've scored you 23.

-The best answer on the board though is Cranford.

-Thanks very much indeed.

OK, so here comes your third question. This is the decider.

Whoever wins this one goes through to the final and plays for that jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs. It concerns...

Yep, we're going to show you five names of chess players, all of whom

have been world ranked number one since that ranking came in in 1971.

We're giving you their first names. Just need their surnames, please.

-Good luck.

-OK, thanks very much indeed.

Let's reveal our five chess greats and here they are.

I'll read those all one last time.

John and James.

It's a dream question.

THEY LAUGH

I think I might know the first one randomly.

-Do you?!

-Yeah, I'm just going to have a stab in the dark.

-Magnus Carlsen.

-Carlsen.

-Magnus Carlsen.

OK, Stuart and Mick, talk us through the rest of the board if you can.

We know the bottom one, which is Bobby Fischer,

-and Stuart thinks one of them is Kaspanov...

-Kasparov.

But I'm not sure if it's Vladimir or Antoly.

So, we're going to go with Bobby Fischer.

You're going to go with Bobby Fischer.

So, we have Magnus Carlsen versus Bobby Fischer.

Magnus Carlsen, said John and James.

Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

-It is right.

-Is it?

-Very well done indeed, John and James.

No-one more surprised than you with that.

Oh, look at that! 8!

APPLAUSE

8 for Magnus Carlsen, well done.

Stuart and Mick have gone for Bobby Fischer.

Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many people said that.

It's right.

It's got a long way... Ooh.

55 for Bobby Fischer.

Which means after three questions, John and James,

-you are through to the final 2-1.

-Terrific answer.

Well played, John and James.

Yeah, Magnus Carlsen, he's a world champion,

he became world number one at the age of 19.

He's a part-time model as well.

He earns over a million euros a year, he's like the new face of chess.

8 points. You've got Anatoly Karpov.

He would've scored you 17 points.

You've got Garry Kasparov, he would've scored you 37.

And this is a tough one.

It's the best answer on the board, Vladimir Kramnik.

He was world champion throughout most of the first part of this century.

And he would have scored you 3 points.

Very well done if you said that at home.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

So, the losing pair at the end of the head-to-head round,

-I'm afraid, Stuart and Mick.

-Brilliant answer.

What a fantastic head-to-head it was, though.

Very close, could've gone any way

and it's been lovely having you on both shows.

Thank you both so much for playing. Great contestants.

APPLAUSE

But for John and James, it's now time for Pointless final.

Congratulations, John and James, you've seen off all

the competition and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at...

APPLAUSE

You've done well. You've seen off all the returning pairs.

As always, you get to choose your category

and you have four options to choose from. They are...

-Not '20s.

-We don't know enough about The Beatles,

-we don't know enough about novelists.

-We don't, do we?

At least seven-letter names could be like countries, footballers.

-Seven-letter names, please.

-Seven-letter names, it is.

Yeah, three classic Pointless categories in here. Best of luck.

Here are your three choices.

We are looking for the name of any Chancellor of the Exchequer

since 1900 whose surname has exactly seven letters.

We are looking for any chemical element on the periodic table,

as of January 2014, that has exactly seven letters.

We're looking for any capital city of the world whose normal

name in English has seven letters.

It has to be the capital of a country that is a member of the UN.

RICHARD REPEATS CATEGORIES

Very, very best of luck.

OK. Now, as always,

you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers

and all you need to win that jackpot of £3,500 is for just

-one of those answers to be pointless. Are you ready?

-BOTH:

-Yes.

OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are, your time starts now.

-OK, capital cities, I think Ottawa.

-OK.

I've got like silicon, lithium, mercury.

Yeah, but they're quite common, they are quite poor.

Osmium is the most dense chemical but I'm not sure

if that's more than seven letters.

Right, OK.

I think you're the man for this, I feel like you can...

-Fluoride, I don't know.

-Do you think lithium and silicon are too easy?

-Yeah.

-Chancellors is just a write-off, isn't it?

Ottawa, Canberra, I think they're too common.

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

Tallinn's not seven.

-Right, what answers?

-20 seconds.

-Shall we go with Ottawa?

-OK.

Ten seconds left.

-Mercury?

-Maybe silicon.

Oh, goodness.

OK, that, I'm sorry to say, is your time up.

I now need your three answers, what are they going to be?

-Ottawa for seven-letter capital cities.

-Em...

Do you want to pick one?

-Yeah, we'll go for mercury as a chemical element.

-You'll go for...?

-Mercury.

-Mercury.

And then...

-Shall we just take a stab?

-Take a stab.

-I'll go osmium for chemical element.

-Osmium.

OK, so we have Ottawa, mercury and osmium.

Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-I think it's very sad.

-Ottawa maybe?

I'm not even sure if that's seven letters.

That one, that's the best one,

the one that we're not sure if it's seven letters.

OK, Ottawa, we'll put last.

-Least likely to be pointless?

-The one he just made up.

-Osmium.

-Osmium, we'll put that one first.

-I know it's a very dense chemical

but I'm sure I'm pronouncing it wrong.

OK, let's pop those up on the board in that order and here they are.

We have got...

JOHN AND ALEXANDER LAUGH

-Do you see it?

-Yeah.

-Sorry.

-What was the category again?

That's right, yes. OK.

All right, well, good luck.

LAUGHTER

Does it still have to do the...?

I guess we'll probably just go through it for fun. Osmium.

It probably won't do the diggita-diggita-diggita though.

-THEY LAUGH

-Yeah, I'd imagine that's not going to happen.

Well, listen, your first answer was osmium.

You're absolutely right, it is a chemical element.

So, osmium, shall we find out how many people said it?

Just leave it as long as possible.

-Oh, bad luck.

-AUDIENCE: Awww.

I'll explain why at the end, guys.

LAUGHTER

Hey, but listen, mercury, though, you're in with a shout there.

What if no-one said mercury?

We'll...go to Mercury.

What would you do with your £3,500?

I'd probably buy some parts for a Mini.

-I'd buy my band a van, probably.

-It's what you need.

-Yeah, I do.

OK, so we are looking in this case for a chemical element with

seven letters. Let's hope nobody said mercury, let's find out.

If it's pointless, you will win £3,500.

Well, it's right...which is more than can be said for osmium.

Down it goes, still going down.

12!

APPLAUSE

That's not a bad answer.

Ottawa also a brilliant answer.

Let's just find out for fun what Ottawa scores. Let's just...

Let's just find out.

Yep. There we are. I'm sorry.

APPLAUSE

I'm really sorry, you didn't manage to find that pointless answer

so you don't win today's jackpot of £3,500.

That will roll over on to the next show.

But you have been brilliant

and it's been such good fun having you on the show.

Fantastic contestants all the way through and you get to take

a Pointless trophy home each so very, very well done.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, you had played very well up to there, guys.

I'm sorry, I was with you,

I thought Ottawa was spelt with a triple T as well.

I was surprised just to see the two.

Eh, lithium would have scored you 8, silicon would have scored you 1.

That would have been a very good answer, yeah.

But at least it would've made you look a little bit better.

LAUGHTER

Don't point at him, you can count!

THEY LAUGH

Let's take a look at the pointless answers in the different categories.

Let's start with the Chancellors.

There's some big names. Stanley Baldwin, he was also Prime Minister.

Roy Jenkins was a pointless answer. Iain Macleod.

There's Paul McKenna,

the stage hypnotist who was also a Liberal Democrat Chancellor in 1915.

Also, you could've had Charles Ritchie and Philip Snowden.

Well done, that's all the pointless answers for the Chancellors.

Chemical elements, you could have had arsenic, gallium, iridium.

You could have had the old Pointless favourite yttrium.

Also, you could have had dubnium, fermium, hassium,

holmium as well, all of those were pointless answers.

Well done if you said one of those. Now, there's loads of capitals.

Let's take a look at a few of them.

Baghdad, capital of Iraq, would've won you the money.

Caracas, Venezuela. Nicosia, Cyprus. Vilnius, Lithuania.

You could have had Bangkok, Bangkok would've been a pointless answer.

Bishkek, Colombo, Conakry, Kampala, Managua, Mbabane.

You could've had Sao Tome, Tbilisi, Yaounde or Yerevan, which is Armenia.

So, very well done if you said some of those at home, I suspect

lots of people would have got something in one of those categories.

Guys, I can't fault your general knowledge. Your counting, terrible.

-But it's been a genuine pleasure to have you on the show.

-Thanks.

Thanks very much indeed. Well, unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to you, John and James.

It's been brilliant having you on the show, I'm sorry it's only

been one show, but as I say, you've been fantastic contestants.

Thanks so much for playing. John and James.

APPLAUSE

Well, very sadly, John and James didn't win our jackpot today which

means it rolls over onto the next show when we will be playing for...

APPLAUSE

Join us next time to see if somebody can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

..and it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE