Episode 49 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong

and welcome to Pointless, where the aim of the game

is to avoid the obvious answers and find the obscure ones.

Let's meet today's players.

Couple number one.

Hi, I'm Julie. This is my best friend Sue.

We've been friends for 60 years and we're from Nottingham.

Couple number two.

Hi, I'm Lola. This is Alice.

We are friends and flatmates from London.

Couple number three.

High, I'm Jamie, this is James and we're friends from London.

And finally, couple number four.

Hi, my name is John,

this is my sister Helen,

and we're from Rawtenstall in Lancashire.

These are today's contestants.

Thanks very much. We'll get to know more about each of you

as the show it goes along.

So that just leaves me one more person for me to introduce.

I have to be quite sensitive round him today

as he's just had his prized collection of Central American fetishes

and blowpipe stolen from this dressing room.

It's my Pointless friend - it's Richard!

Hiya.

Hi, everybody.

Central American what?

A Central American fetish?

Yes, they're not what they sound like, they're carved...

they're graven images.

They're sort of...idols, carved.

So expressly forbidden in the Ten Commandments.

Erm, well, yeah, they are.

But, listen, the Ten Commandments didn't get over to

Central America for SO long...!

Tell that to the Incas.

We are SO out of our depth already!

LAUGHTER

-We should just move on, I think.

-Let's move on. Anyway.

We've got three returning pairs from the last show.

Lola and Alice, who did very well.

Got all the way to the head-to-head. Tough to beat.

But John and Helen were very unlucky, I think.

Knocked out in the first round on a tennis question,

they knew their tennis, but the answers they went for were good

but too obscure, and they were knocked out.

-I think it was unfortunate, I would say.

-Indeed.

Gave away the jackpot last time in a great final round

for Darren and Jonathan, winning nearly 4,500 on Olympic rowers.

It was very impressive, wasn't it?

Very good indeed.

-It's nice, though, to go back to £1,000, isn't it?

-It is, isn't it?

It's less worry if you win it.

You don't have to worry about where you'll keep it.

What you're going to spend it on...

-Yeah.

-Takes a lot of choice out of life.

-Yeah, I think it's nice.

A relief for everybody here.

Yes, I think so. Yeah.

OK, there we are. Thanks very much indeed.

Now all our questions on Pointless have been put to 100 people -

our contestants are looking for the obscure answers

our 100 people didn't get.

Everybody is trying to find a pointless answer

that none of the 100 people got, and each time that happens

we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Now, Darren and Jonathan won the jackpot last time,

so today's jackpot starts off back at £1,000.

There it is. Right, everybody ready?

Let's play Pointless.

Now, remember, the pair with the highest score

at the end of each round will be eliminated,

so try and make sure it's not you.

OK, our first category today is...

Pop music.

Pop music. All decide in your pairs who'll go first and who second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Richard?

On each pass we'll show you seven number one singles from the noughties,

you just have to tell us which act or artist

had a number one hit with these songs, please.

Seven on each pass, 14 in all, so have a go at home.

So, very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed.

We're looking for the artists who had a number one with each of these hits.

And here's our first board of seven.

I'll read them all one last time.

Now, which of Julie and Sue is going to go first?

-Me.

-Sue.

Remind us what you get up to up in Nottingham.

I go clubbing with the students when I work.

That's what I was after. Yep!

Is there one particular club you all like to go to?

Yeah, we all go to Ocean. It's the student club, so...

-Very good.

-On Friday night.

And they get all the drinks in, I hope for you.

-Yes.

-Never pay for a drink.

I love it. They look after you.

Anyway, so, Sue, yes.

There we are. Here's the board.

Do you know any of these songs...?

You'll know Bound 4 Da Reload from Ocean, obviously.

Of course. Of course.

I don't know any of them, to be honest.

So I'm going to have to take a guess.

I'm going to go Rollin' with Westlife.

(I know it's not right.)

Rollin', Westlife.

Let's find out if that's right. It might be.

Say Westlife, there's always a pretty high chance you'll be right.

Let's see if Rollin' is by Westlife, and how many said that if it is.

Oh, bad luck! I'm sorry, Sue.

An incorrect answer there scores you a maximum of 100 points.

I'd be surprised if that's the last 100 points in this round.

Sorry, Sue, Westlife were number one for most of the noughties,

but not with Rollin', I'm afraid.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, then, Lola.

-Hello.

-Welcome back.

-Thank you.

-Now, last time, head-to-head

and we gave you some comedy ones, didn't we?

Don't.

-That one fell through the cracks.

-Should've known The Goodies.

Well, I have to say, normally if pop music comes up I think "Yay" -

I'm going to be fine on this. I'm... I'm struggling.

Lola, on the other hand,

I'm guessing you're going to be all over this board.

Yeah. Actually.

It's all right. I can't remember the one I really want to remember...

So I'm going to go for Maneater

and I'm going to say Nelly Furtado.

Nelly Furtado says Lola for Maneater.

Let's see if it's right, and if it is how many said Nelly Furtado.

It's right.

Very well done for Nelly Furtado.

Well played, Lola. Number one for three weeks. Her first number one.

The speakers in the studio caught fire as she was recording it.

She thought it was possessed.

-Well, you would.

-Yeah.

-Or she thought the song was so HOT.

I would think there was an electrical fault, is what I would think.

But, erm... That's just me.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Now then, we come to you, James.

-Oh, they're new!

-I know!

-They're new!

Nice to have you here. Tell us about ourselves.

I work as a database manager for a charity.

Diabetes UK.

And I am from London.

Originally from Essex.

-OK. How do you and Jamie know each other?

-We're friends.

We've known each other since we were about 11 years old.

Oh, that's nice. Very good.

-James.

-Yes.

Er, I panicked when it first came up, but I think I can get couple.

I will go for I Kissed A Girl,

Katy Perry.

Katy Perry, I Kissed A Girl.

Let's hear that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many people said Katy Perry.

Well, you've beaten our high score -

The low score is 26.

55. There we are.

55 for Katy Perry.

A solid and safe first answer, I would say.

Five weeks at number one in the UK,

seven weeks at number one in the US, as well.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, John.

Welcome back.

Very unfortunate in the last show.

You...You know your tennis, very well.

I do. Gutted.

And you joined the 200 club. I'm sorry.

You know, we said last time, John looks like a tennis player?

-He's even in his, sort of, tennis kit now.

-He does.

-Straight from the courts! That is just about to knock up.

-Yep.

People say I look like Andy Murray, but... Some people.

I'm not sure...about Andy Murray, but I just say a tennis player.

If you were looking for a tennis player for a script,

and you walked in, you'd go - yeah, you'll do.

Got it. You got the part.

Erm, John, now then,

this board is all yours.

Right, well, I know I'm comfortable on this one.

It's just working out which one is the lowest.

I'm going to go for...

Rollin' and Limp Bizkit.

Limp Bizkit, Rollin'. OK.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is,

how many people said Limp Bizkit.

It's right!

Down it goes...

Our lowest score of the round so far.

14, very well done indeed, John.

Very good answer, John, well played. That's more like it.

-They're only UK number one to date, they're a nu-metal band.

-Mm.

-That's what they call themselves.

Now, let's fill in the rest of the board.

Er, Lola, which was the one you wanted to remember?

-Bound 4 Da Reload.

-Xander wants to remember that one as well.

-I know it.

-Do you know it?

-It's people... me and Xander

-get compared to them all the time.

-Yeah?

People always say we're like...

-like a 2014 version of these guys.

-Yeah.

-Oxide And Neutrino?

-Oxide And Neutrino, absolutely right.

-That's us.

I'm Oxide, you're Neutrino. Just crazy.

They were from So Solid Crew and that was their...

it was like a huge UK garage track - Bound 4 Da Reload.

It had the Casualty theme tune in it.

-Sampled it.

-Do you think anyone's going to sample our theme tune?

-No.

-That would be nice.

-It would be ni... very flattering.

-That would be nice... a UK garage track.

-Yes!

I'd like that, Lethal Bizzle might do it.

IMITATES SAMPLING OF THEME TUNE

LAUGHTER

CONTINUES SAMPLING

LAUGHTER

LAUGHTER

They don't need to sample it now, do they? Just put that out.

LAUGHTER

-That sounds like a hit to me.

-They can ha...!

Er, talking of that - Evacuate The Dancefloor...

that's by...

One of the best health and safety tracks of the noughties.

LAUGHTER

Loneliness... this is a terrific answer if you got this...

The German DJ would have scored you one point.

And do you know The Importance Of Being Idle?

-I...

-Oasis.

-Really?

-Yeah, would have scored you 19.

Oh, that's shaming. OK, thank you very much indeed.

Now then, let's take a look at those scores...

the best score of that pass, John, very much yours, well done. 14.

Then we travel up to 26, well done, Lola. We find Lola and Alice.

Then up to 55 for James and Jamie. Oh, I'm sorry, Julie and Sue.

I'm sorry, 100.

Luckily, though, I know that Julie is going to be...

-on this.

-All over it.

-All over it, exactly. So, yes, good luck with that, Julie.

We are going to come back down the line now, can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put seven more hit singles. Number-one hit singles,

I should say, on the board and here they are.

I'll read those all one last time...

Now, remember, Helen, we are looking for the artists who had

number-one hits with these singles in the noughties.

-We discovered last time that you were a buyer...

-Yep.

-..of shoes.

-Ladies' shoes, yes.

-Ladies' shoes. Does that mean...?

I mean, how...

how do you become aware of, of particular lines of ladies' shoes,

do they send just masses of boxes through to you?

No, it, sort of, involves going round the high streets

-finding out what all the latest trends are.

-A little bit of

-industrial espionage?

-A little bit.

-Do you sneak into rival shops?

-A little bit, yeah.

-Do they know you, do you have to wear disguises?

Er, no, we're OK in the shops, it's when we go round the shows that

we have to be a bit more sneaky about it.

SHE CHUCKLES

OK. OK, now, Helen, what are you going to go for?

I think I'm going to go for Bag It Up, Geri Halliwell.

Geri Halliwell, Bag It Up. Of course, yes, she's a dog owner...

LAUGHTER

100 is the high score, you're on 14, so 85 or less gets you through.

Let's see if it is indeed by Geri Halliwell - let's see how

many people said it, there's your red line.

It's right and you're through. Very well done indeed, Helen.

Good work.

All thoughts of the 200 Club are far behind us now, your total is 20.

Still the lowest score so far and you've given two answers.

Terrific answer, yeah, very well played.

That was her third UK number one, she's had four in all.

She was knocked off number one by Mel C, as well.

Thanks very much indeed. Jamie, welcome.

Now, you and James... you know each other very well,

but you have a weird, sort of, ESP thing going on

because I was hearing just earlier that you got engaged,

or you were about to get engaged on the same day.

Yeah, we both independently decided to, to propose...

Hadn't told each other and on the day that James had the ring in

his pocket I was in Bruges with my then girlfriend and proposed to her.

But you got engaged on the same day as your friend, as well, didn't you?

-Your friend Hannah, now your wife.

-Oh, yeah, that's right!

LAUGHTER

-That's right.

-Yeah, that's weird.

-I know, it's very strange.

Oh, who knows how these things work? Anyway, Jamie, there you are,

you're on 55, the high scorers remain Julie and Sue on 100,

so 44 or less is your target.

OK, I was a bit nervous when I saw all of these cos

there's one I know I think's going to be really high, but luckily,

er, the other one that I think I know hasn't been chosen,

which is Obviously, McFly.

McFly, says Jamie. McFly. Obviously, is it by McFly?

Here is your red line - get below that with McFly -

you're home and dry.

It is indeed McFly. Very well done, Jamie.

And you are through.

-It's beginning to look ominous for podium one, isn't it?

-It is a bit.

-Just a little bit.

-Just a bit.

-You never know, though.

-You do never know. Yeah, one of their seven number ones to date.

-Wow.

-Alice, welcome.

-Hi.

-Remind us what you do.

-I'm a financial journalist.

-An award-winning financial journalist,

in fact, what particular markets do you look over?

Specifically I look at unquoted investments, namely private equity.

Right.

Um, 26 is your, is your score at the moment, again,

Julie and Sue on 100, so 73 or less is your target.

Erm, I know... about three of them.

One of them, I think, will be very high so it's just deciding

between the other two.

Just cos I know Lola really likes this band...

I'm going to go...

-SHE CHUCKLES

-..for the bottom one, Vertigo, with U2.

U2... for Vertigo.

OK, there is your red line, let's see if U2 can get you below it.

It's right.

Well done, take your place in round two...

Number one for one week, Vertigo from How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb.

OK, now then, Julie...

I'm sorry...

THEY LAUGH

..I'm really, really sorry.

But, anyway. We discovered last time you're a special constable.

-That's right, yes.

-How long have you done that for?

-23 years. Yes. Now, these days I...

I do more recruitment and training.

There we are. There are 1, 2, 3, 4 gaps there.

I don't know any of them, the only one I did know was U2... Vertigo.

I shall go for...

..Just A Little.

And my favourite singer...

Cliff Richard!

LAUGHTER

Just A Little.

Erm, OK, let's see if Cliff Richard is right.

I'm afraid you are already the high scorers so there's

no red line for you but let's see... if Cliff Richard sang Just A Little.

I'm afraid... I'm sorry.

I'm afraid he didn't and that scores you 100 points...

I'm sorry.

Yeah, sorry, Julie, but if Cliff is watching, you have just made his day.

-So that's nice.

-That's nice.

-Just A Little is actually a great pop song,

it's by Liberty X.

-It is a great song.

-Great song, would have scored you 11 points.

Fight For This Love...

A Moment Like This is...

And Oops I Did It Again...?

-Britney Spears.

-Britney Spears. Would have scored you 68 points.

So, Geri Halliwell, best answer on this board.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. So, at the end of our first round,

the pair heading home with their high score of 200, I'm so sorry,

Julie and Sue. I know that's a tough round. There are, occasionally,

ones that will come up like that, and, you know,

-sometimes you might know one or not.

-Yeah.

That was a really tough one.

And, I'm afraid it means we must say goodbye, it's been lovely having

-you on the show, thank you both so much for playing, Julie and Sue - wonderful contestants.

-Thank you.

But, for the remaining three pairs it's now time for round two.

Well, three pairs remain.

At the end of this round we'll be saying goodbye to another pair. Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for round two today is...

It's cricket. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is - here it comes...

we gave 100 people 100 seconds to name...

as many...

Yeah, I think you can treat this as geography rather than sport

if you want to, cos we're looking for any town or

city in Australia, New Zealand, South Africa or Zimbabwe that has

ever hosted a men's cricket test match.

And that's all the way through to January 2014,

according to the cricinfo website. So any town or city in Australia,

New Zealand, South Africa or Zimbabwe that has ever hosted an official

men's cricket test match. Very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed. OK, Lola...

Erm... OK. Just going to say a city...

in South Africa...

Durban.

Durban, says Lola. Let's see if that's right, and if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Durban.

It's right.

That'll do.

Very well played, Lola. That's the way to go.

If you know your geography, you can just about get through with this

-round, I think.

-Thanks very much indeed. Now, Jamie...

-Yes.

-Cricket not good for you?

-Sport in general is not great for me.

-Southern hemisphere not good for you?

-No, I don't even look that side

-of the globe, I'm not interested.

-OK.

LAUGHTER

So, I reckon... Wellington... in New Zealand.

Wellington, in New Zealand, says Jamie...

CHUCKLES

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's absolutely right.

Well, Durban scored 13, let's see what Wellington does...

Not bad, you're on the board.

Yep, the world's southernmost capital city, Wellington...

so, I think this... if you know your cities this round... you can see,

-it's easier than it first looked.

-Mm.

John.

-I'm going to take a... punt at Brisbane?

-Brisbane,

says John. Let's see how many of our 100 people said Brisbane.

It's right.

Yeah, home to the famous Gabba test cricket ground, Brisbane.

Thanks very much, halfway through the round let's take

a look at those scores...

Lola, who'd have thought? Very well done indeed.

Sets you up pretty well...

-Now, James, how's your cricket?

-Er, pretty poor, it's...

but I know places, so I... I'll guess...

-Listen, know places, will travel.

-LAUGHTER

Er, best of luck. Come back down the line, can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, Helen, so we are looking for any city in the southern hemisphere

that has hosted a test match.

OK, I think I'm going to say...

-Johannesburg.

-Johannesburg, says Helen. Let's see if that's right

and if it is let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

The high scorers James and Jamie on 29, there is your red line.

It's right.

Another good answer, there's been three test cricket grounds in Johannesburg.

The first test match there was 1896.

-That's a long time ago, isn't it?

-Mm. Now, James.

The moment has come, listen, here's your target, you have to score 23

or less to avoid becoming the new high scorers.

OK, erm...

I think I'm going to have to take a guess...

I'm not sure if I'm pronouncing it right but...

-Harare?

-Harare.

Harare says James, there is your red line. Let's see how far down

the column Harare gets you.

It's absolutely right.

You are in the head-to-head.

Yep, Harare, the Zimbabwean capital, held its first test in 1992.

-Against India.

-Thanks very much indeed. Now then...

-Alice...

-Hi.

-We have a contest on our hands here, the high scorers

are Helen and John on 53, you're on 13.

39 or more less is what you have to score.

Er, so, I know nothing about cricket.

Going to stick with South Africa and

-take a guess on Cape Town.

-Cape Town.

-Yep.

Cape Town, OK.

Let's see if you can get below that red line with Cape Town.

-You've done it... oh, just!

-AUDIENCE GASPS

39 you needed, 38 you got, very well done, indeed.

51, your total.

Well played, Alice, cutting it fine, yeah, the Newlands Test Cricket Ground

-which is at the foot of the...

-Very beautiful.

-..Table Mountain. Absolutely gorgeous.

There's a few pointless answers, well done if you said any of these.

Centurion in South Africa.

East London, very tough, that's in South Africa,

only ever held one test match... Napier in New Zealand.

And...

which is also in South Africa.

-So, very well done if you said any of those.

-Thanks very much indeed.

I'm afraid that at the end of our second round, Helen and John!

Low scorers in the first round... I thought you were, you were onto something...

Brisbane, nice low score there.

I'm afraid, Johannesburg, yes, was just a bit too high.

Very close, as I predicted. And I'm afraid this is where we have to say goodbye,

but you've played valiantly, today, it's been great to have you back.

But thanks so much, Helen and John.

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations. Lola and Alice, James and Jamie,

are now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot which currently stands at...

Right, we have to decide who's going to play for that money

and to do that you're now going to go head-to-head.

The big difference being you can now confer before giving

your answers and the first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

And, I think, now you can confer this promises to be a pretty

tight match, so best of luck to both pairs, let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question and it concerns...

Five pictures now of animals that have their habitat mainly

or solely in the Arctic, can you give us the English name of the

most obscure of these, please? Very best of luck.

OK, let's reveal our five Arctic animals and here they come...

-Oh-oh-oh.

-Oh-oh-oh.

Aw.

-Oh-oh, look.

-Aw.

-Oh.

-Nah.

LAUGHTER

BOTH: Aw, oh...

Oh-oh-oh, aw-aw...

C looks a bit like B who's just been in the soot.

LAUGHTER

Lola and Alice, you've played best throughout the show so far,

so you will go first.

INDISTINCT CONFERRING

Yeah, we're going to say D is a narwhal.

-A narwhal.

-Yep, my fave.

There we go. Now, James and Jamie, you...

Jamie, you're a bit cross that they said narwhal.

It's like the fish unicorn, it's the best one.

I don't know. We know B. B's a good one.

E, I think I should know but I don't...

I can't remember the... it's something fox but...

We can guess, I think B is going to be higher than D so we'll guess E...

-Snow fox.

-A snow fox.

A snow fox. OK, so we have narwhal versus snow fox.

Lola and Alice said narwhal for D. Let's see if D is a narwhal

and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

It is, of course, a narwhal...

James and Jamie said that E was a snow fox...

let's see if that is right and if it is let's see how many people

said it.

It is right...

54, so, well done, Lola and Alice, narwhal did it for you.

After one question you are up one nil.

Yeah, much more commonly known as the arctic fox but they can be

called the snow fox so an acceptable answer. I would really, really

-like to have an arctic fox... don't you think?

-Mm.

It'd be nice, look how cute that is. Narwhal less so.

Now A... is the snowy owl.

-What do you think polar bear scored? That's B.

-I'm thinking, probably,

somewhere in the high 90s, maybe even 100?

-98. 98.

-Two people flummoxed by that.

LAUGHTER Yeah, two people going...

Two people going, "I don't know, it looks a bit like a bison, is it a bison?"

LAUGHTER They are incredible swimmers and also very fast runners.

If they could learn to ride bikes polar bears would be terrific triathletes...

LAUGHTER

They really would be amazing.

C, do you know C? It's a good answer, it's more famous as a character

from X-Men.

-No, that's a wolverine.

-Yep.

-Wow.

-Would have been a terrific answer.

-Look at that!

I bet that can ride a bike.

Er, thanks very much indeed, Richard, so here comes your

second question. James and Jamie, you have to win this one,

but you answer it first, so good luck with that. It concerns...

Yep, it had to come up sooner or later and right now it did.

-Maths, Richard.

-Five clues now to facts about mathematics,

can you give us your most obscure answer? Good luck.

Thanks very much. OK, let's reveal our five clues and here they come...

I'll read those all one last time...

There you go. James and Jamie, you'll go first.

INDISTINCT CONFERRING

OK, I think we're going to go... we know a couple of them

but we're going to go for the bottom one,

the value of the Roman numerals...

-we think it's 40.

-OK, you're going to say 40, the value of XL.

Now then, Lola and Alice, the board is all yours.

Help yourselves.

What is it...? Yeah, we think it's an acute angle.

-Erm, and a denominator?

-I think it's below the fraction.

Trying to work out the square root.

It could be 13.

-Could be.

-Lola really wanted there to be a maths sum as a potential

round so...

-OK. Acute.

-Let's go acute.

-Yeah.

-You're going to go acute.

-Yeah.

The angle is acute. So we have 40 versus acute.

James and Jamie said 40 was the value of XL.

Let's see if that's right. If it is, let's see how many people said it...

It's right...

Wow.

22.

Lola and Alice have said an angle less than 90 degrees is called an acute angle.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many people said that.

It's right...

So, yeah, James and Jamie, XL wins it for you.

Slightly surprising only 22 people knew that but well done,

-you've done exactly what you needed to do. You're back in the game, it's one-all.

-Yeah, there was

only one answer on the board that would have beaten that one, actually.

One of our 100 people thought the value of XL was extra large.

LAUGHTER

That's nice, isn't it?

Er, now let's take a look at the rest... Lola, you're right

about the number that appears below the line, that's a denominator.

-That takes me back to school...

-Yeah, yeah.

It wouldn't have won you the point though cos it would have scored you...

Do you remember what the, what the number above the line is?

The... no.

AUDIENCE MEMBER: Num...

-Numerator.

-Numerator!

-There we go.

Minus 13 can also be the square root.

Best answer on the board, the British mathematician -

more famous as one of the godfathers of computing,

it's Alan Turing.

Very well done if you said that, pointless answer.

Thank you very much indeed. So here comes the decider!

This is your third and final question - whoever wins this

goes through to the final and plays for that jackpot, best of luck to both pairs... it concerns...

-Richard...

-We're going to show you the title of five literary works.

Now, we've missed out one word from each and that word is...

the name of a traditional wedding anniversary.

-Can you fill in the gaps and get the most obscure one?

-Thanks very much indeed.

OK, let's reveal our five titles and here they come...

I'll read those all one last time...

So, Lola and Alice, you will go first again this time.

-It's quite good isn't it?

-Yeah. Philip Pullman's our...

-Joint.

-..favourite.

-Joint favourite. We love him.

-Yeah, he's the best.

So, we're going to go for The Ruby In The Smoke.

The Ruby In The Smoke, say Lola and Alice. Now, James and Jamie...

-The board is all yours.

-Do you think it is?

-Talk us through them all,

-if you can.

-Cat On A Hot Tin Roof by Tennessee Williams.

The Girl With A Pearl Earring.

-We don't know the island one.

-Yeah.

-Paper? I don't know.

-I know that's a wedding anniversary thing.

-Yeah.

-A rubbish one.

There's a film called Steel Magnolias, I don't know if...

I think we've got to go for anything that's going to beat...

-we'll go for Steel Magnolias.

-Steel Magnolias say James and Jamie. So, we have ruby versus steel.

Lola and Alice said The Ruby And The Smoke, let's see if that's right,

let's see how many people said it...

It's right...

Oh, very well done...

Now, James and Jamie have gone for Steel Magnolias, let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many people said that...

It's right...

It's got to go all the way down to... oh...

Very well done, Lola and Alice, you have done it, after three questions

you're through to the final two-one.

And again, only one answer that would have beaten ruby there.

Somebody again in our 100, I don't know if it's the same person

who said XL was extra large, said The House In The Smoke.

You think, "Blimey, that's not a bad wedding anniversary present, is it?"

LAUGHTER

How about that? When do you get that?

Erm, Cat On A Hot Tin Roof is a big, big scorer, let's take a look...

The Girl With A Pearl Earring, also a big scorer...

Now, your 35th wedding anniversary...

you give the present of...

coral.

It's the best answer up there, would have scored you...

Thanks very much indeed, so the pair leaving us at the end

of the head-to-head round, I'm afraid it's James and Jamie.

Well, you did pretty well, erm, you know,

first appearance on Pointless, through to the head-to-head.

As the girls will tell you, no mean feat.

And it also means we get to see you again, you'll be

back next time. Look forward to that very much indeed,

but, meantime, thanks very much for playing, James and Jamie.

But for Lola and Alice, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Lola and Alice. You've seen off the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy, so very well done.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show the jackpot stands at...

OK, very, very best of luck.

You get to choose your category from the four on our board.

Let's have a look at those...

I'm guessing that... probably not...

-Erm, I don't have any of Madonna's albums.

-Yeah, yep.

I don't want to offend anyone.

We know the name of one.

-Do we? We do?

-Yeah.

-Shall we do Madonna?

-Yeah.

-OK, you're going to go for Madonna?

-Yeah.

-We are.

-Richard...

OK, three very different questions here, very best of luck,

hope one of these suits you... We are looking for the name of any...

..that's come out before February 2014.

Anybody credited in her 1992 film...

so, any of the actors in... apart from Madonna.

Or any Madonna...

..up to February 2014.

So...

Very, very best of luck.

OK. Now, as always, you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers

and all you need to win that jackpot is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-BOTH: Yes.

OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock...

There they are, your time starts now...

-Have you read any of her children's books?

-No.

-Have you seen A League Of Their Own?

I have, there's a really beautiful woman in it that looks a bit like your mum,

but I've forgotten her name.

LAUGHTER

Oh... can't remember what else she was in.

I don't know, let's just leave that, let's just...

Number one... Don't Cry For Me Argentina.

-Like A Prayer.

-Like A Virgin.

-Ray Of Light.

-Ray Of Light.

-Lucky Star.

-Holiday.

-Yeah...

-Quite high.

-It would be, that was her first one.

-Lucky Star was her first one?

-Lucky Star was her first one.

-It would be funny if that was the question.

-Um...

What else did she do?

-Oh, erm, Frozen?

-Yeah, that's a good one, let's do that...

Frozen. Something like being like a boy, like a girl...?

INDISTINCT

-Material Girl.

-Material Girl!

-Not that one but there's something...

You're right, isn't it three words? Didn't we see that on Pointless?

-Oh, no...

-It's Like A Girl Is...

-No.

-OK, let's get...

Frozen, Ray Of Light...

OK, that is your time up, I'm afraid I now need your three answers.

-OK.

-You were sort of listing them then anyway.

-Frozen.

-Frozen.

-Yeah.

-Ray Of Light.

-Yeah.

-Ray Of Light.

-And... Don't Cry For Me Argentina?

-Yeah. Go on.

-And Don't Cry For Me Argentina.

-Yeah.

-And these are all Madonna...

-UK number-one singles.

-Well, possibly...

-We hope.

-We hope, yeah...

They're definitely not children's books...

-OK.

-I don't know if that's true.

LAUGHTER

Yeah, OK. Of those three which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-I think Frozen.

-Frozen.

-Frozen we'll put last. Least likely to be pointless?

Don't Cry...

Don't Cry For Me Argentina, we'll put that first.

OK, let's pop those up on the board in that order,

and here they are...

Well, very best of luck, three perfectly good answers

up there on the board. Your first... These are all, incidentally, Madonna number-one...

UK number-one singles, we hope.

Your first answer was...

Probably the one you thought was least likely

to be pointless, but what if it is? What if one of these is pointless?

And you win £1,000. That's a nice thing to be going home with.

-Oh, yeah.

-What would you do with that?

-We would have a big night out.

-A big night out.

-Brilliant.

THEY LAUGH

-Just put it behind the bar somewhere.

-Just us...

LAUGHTER

Ex... that is a massive night out, isn't it? Fantastic.

OK, very, very best of luck, as I say.

Don't Cry For Me Argentina... let's find out. If it's pointless,

you will win the jackpot. So, for £1,000, let's see how many

people said Don't Cry For Me Argentina...

Oh-wee! Not a number one, I'm guessing.

-Yep.

-Unfortunately, not a pointless answer. Only two more shots

at the jackpot - your second answer was Ray Of Light.

Let's find out. If it's pointless you will win £1,000.

Let's see how many people said Ray Of Light...

Oh, no!

Wow, we're clearing the table quite fast here.

Only one more shot at the jackpot, everything is riding on

-the answer you thought was the best answer anyway which is...

-Yeah.

-..Frozen.

-Don't even know if it's a Madonna song.

-OK, let's find out.

It has to be right... crucially...

then it has to be pointless.

So, for £1,000 let's see how many people said Frozen...

-It's right!

-Oh.

So your first answer which is Don't Cry For Me Argentina

was incorrect, your second answer

Ray Of Light was incorrect...

No such problem with Frozen, down it goes...

Eight, oh, I'm sorry!

Eight people said Frozen.

I'm sorry... that was a tougher category than we thought.

You didn't manage to find that all-important

pointless answer. I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £1,000.

That will roll over onto the next show but you have been a delight

on the show, on both shows, in fact, and you get to take

away a Pointless trophy for your troubles, so there you are,

-very well done.

-BOTH: Thank you.

Yeah, a valiant attempt there.

Don't Cry For Me Argentina was number three,

Ray Of Light was number two, so neither of them number one.

Actually, in that category, you'll be unsurprised to hear,

there's only one pointless answer for Madonna number-one singles... it's three-words long...

the third word is girl...

-Who's That Girl?

-No.

-It's OK. I don't now that.

-Good, good, good.

Let's take a look at the... pointless answers in the other categories.

There's lots more in the others.

Of her children's books in the English Roses series, all of

these are from that...

-The person who looks like Lola's mum is Geena Davis.

-That's it.

-The beautiful Geena Davis.

-Wow.

Lots of other pointless answers there but those are the biggest names.

Er, we've already said the Madonna songs, there's only Who's That Girl?

I'll tell you some of the other low scorers. Sorry would have scored one point.

You'd have got two points for Into The Groove, Hung Up and 4 Minutes.

You'd have got four points for True Blue, American Pie and

La Isla Bonita. Music would have scored you six.

Papa Don't Preach - 11. Vogue - 18. And Like A Prayer - 18 as well.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Well, we have to say goodbye, Lola and Alice, but it's been

brilliant having you on the show, thank you so much for playing

-and playing so well... Alice and Lola.

-Thanks.

Well, Lola and Alice didn't win our jackpot today, which means

it rolls over onto the next show, when we will be playing for £2,000.

Join us then to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.