Episode 53 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless,

the show that makes big winners out of the lowest scorers.

Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hello, I'm Shirley and this is Kevin. We're a couple from Northamptonshire.

Couple number two.

Hi, I'm Ryan from Plymouth and this is Carys from Barry in South Wales,

and we are good friends from university.

Couple number three.

Hi, I'm Maxine and this is Sara, and we're from South Wales

and we're work colleagues and friends.

And finally, couple number four.

Hello, I'm Bo from Farnham, this is Charlie from Brighton,

and we're mates from uni.

-And these are today's contestants.

-APPLAUSE

Thanks very much, all of you. We'll find out more about you throughout the show.

So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

He only wears those glasses to make him seem EVEN MORE intelligent.

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya. Hi, everybody. Afternoon. APPLAUSE

-Good afternoon to you.

-And to you.

-How are you?

-I'm very well.

-Oh, that's good.

-I'm very well.

-Sometimes I worry you don't tell me the truth.

Sometimes, if you were in a bad way, I don't think you'd tell me.

I quite often say, "How are you?" And you always say, "I'm very well."

Statistically, you can't always be well. LAUGHTER

It's true. You know, I am very well. I never get to ask you how you are, because you then plough on.

RICHARD COUGHS LAUGHTER

-How are you, but really?

-I've been waiting 650 shows for that.

-I'm very, very well. I'm very well for a number of reasons.

-Yes.

One, we've got two returning pairs, that always make me happy.

That always perks you up, doesn't it?

Kevin and Shirley got all the way through to the head-to-head.

Going to be very difficult to beat.

Maxine and Sara got knocked out in the first round with 200 points,

but unluckily. And I'm also happy because round one is a cracker.

And I'm ALSO happy because Bo has got

the joint shortest name of anyone who's ever been on the show.

-It's great. It's good.

-Alongside Jo, Su and Fi.

-So it's great to have him on board.

-Thanks very much indeed.

All our questions on Pointless have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants need to find the obscure answers those 100 people didn't get.

Everyone's trying to find a pointless answer,

an answer that none of our 100 people gave,

and each time that happens we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Kevin and Scott didn't win the jackpot last time, so we add another £1,000 to that.

So today's jackpot starts off at £2,250.

APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

Remember, the pair with the highest score at the end of each round

will be eliminated, so do what you can to make sure that's not you.

Best of luck. Our first category today is...

Languages. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

-Richard, food items in French.

-Yeah, if you weren't well before, you'll be well now,

cos you get to do your French accent, people will enjoy that.

On each pass we'll show you seven food items in French,

you just need to give us the English translations, please.

14 in all to have a go at at home, so very best of luck.

-Bonne chance, oui?

-Merci.

So, we are looking for the English translations of these food items in French.

Seven on our first board, and here they come. We have got...

I'll read those one last time.

-RICHARD CHUCKLES You're very good.

-I do enjoy it.

No idea what they mean, but I do enjoy it.

Kevin, welcome back.

Now, listen, we discovered last time that you are not only a jester,

you are THE jester in Northamptonshire.

Do you find when you nod and it doesn't go ring-ring-ring, it's a bit disappointing?

-LAUGHTER

-Yeah, very odd.

-There's something missing.

-Yeah.

-Was there always an official jester for each county?

-No, no.

I'm a member of an organisation called the National Guild of Jesters.

-Yes, there really is one.

-Right. Did you set that up?

-No, no, no. I didn't set that up.

-OK.

-No, I was headhunted for that.

-Yes.

-And what they want is for there to be an official jester in every big town and city in the country.

And, as far as I know, I think there are 16 of us at the moment who are actually connected to a city.

-16?! Hey-nonny-no! that is a lot.

-LAUGHTER

There were two big organisations, weren't there?

It's like the boxing and stuff where there's two big organisations of jesters.

Yours, who I respect, and the other lot are a bunch of clowns. LAUGHTER

-That's my opinion. Just my opinion.

-That's their official title.

-Yeah, they are called A Bunch Of Clowns. Terrific guys.

-Wonderful.

Now then, Kevin. There they are in French.

What are these French food items in English?

My O-Level French is hopefully telling me

that le homard might be a lobster.

Your O-Level French didn't teach you that you don't pronounce the H, your aspirate.

The aspirate's silent, mate. "Le 'omard."

-Long time ago.

-OK, let's see if it's right. Lobster.

Is it right, and if it is, how many people said it?

It is right, of course.

-Good answer. 12.

-APPLAUSE

That'll do, Kevin.

That's a terrific answer, isn't it?

If you're going to bring anything back to mind from all those years ago,

le homard is very impressive. I don't think I was taught that.

-Really? Le homard?

-Le homard. Did you have that?

-Oui, mais bien sur!

-Mais non!

-Oui! Vachement. Extra!

Je ne sais pas.

-Now, Ryan.

-Hello.

-Welcome to the show, Ryan, it's great to have you here.

-You are at university with Carys.

-We've recently graduated, actually.

-Ah, right.

-So you're now working, in the world of work.

-I am, yes.

-What are you doing?

I'm a teaching assistant, currently, at my old secondary school.

-Oh, that's nice! Nice to be back?

-Bit awkward.

-All the people in the staff room who were there who taught you?

-Indeed, they are.

And is your old French teacher...? Is your French teacher in the...?

She'll be humiliated when she sees what I know on this board.

Well, let's just see. Let's just see, Ryan. What are you going to go for?

The only one I'm probably going to have a guess at is the bottom one,

and because it looks similar to the English,

I'm going to say it's mustard.

La moutarde, mustard. Says Ryan. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said mustard.

It's right.

-57.

-APPLAUSE

I think quite a few others spotted that link as well, possibly.

But 57, a lot better than 100.

A big score, and on the plus side,

you are Briton's youngest-looking graduate, as well.

-LAUGHTER

-Thank you.

National mustard day in America, first Saturday in August.

-Ah, what a day!

-Isn't it, though?

-Of course, in France it's a very different thing from what it is in America, really.

-Oui.

Cos mustard in France, they take it tres, tres serieusement.

Certainement, certainement.

All their moutarde.

I can only think of Dijon, but I'm sure there are plenty...

Meaux, there's another one called meaux, avec le...le...

-Um... Seeds.

-Really? LAUGHTER

-Yeah.

-The absolute key to sounding like you can speak French is to

-pronounce "oui" as casually as possible.

-Oui.

You just go... HE UTTERS BRIEF SYLLABLE

-CASUALLY:

-Oui.

-Oh, oui, oui.

-Oui, oui.

-Tu es francais?

-EMPHATICALLY:

-Mais non! C'est pas possible!

-LAUGHTER

-Maxine, welcome back. Do you like mustard, Maxine?

-LAUGHTER

Do you think...? Because the natural thing that leads on from our conversation is,

should we have a World Mustard Day... World Mustard Day? Just a Mustard Day.

-..Mustard Day, in this country?

-I think not on its own.

You'd have a lot of sour looking people.

What about Mustard And Custard Day?

-That... Yeah.

-That's good.

-It could fly.

-It could.

-Maxine.

-Yes.

-What are you going to go for?

The top one, when it came up, I thought, "yes, I've got an answer."

As I've been stood here, I've been thinking, "mmm..."

So, I'm just going to go with it.

And I'm going to say la confiture - jam.

Jam. You know it should be pronounced L-A confiture?

-LAUGHTER

-One of my favourite films.

OK, jam. Let's see if that's right, and how many people said it if it is.

(Oh, God!)

-It's right.

-Yes!

Well done, Maxine. 57 our high score, you're past that.

12 our a low score. You're pretty much halfway between.

31, very well done.

Well played, Maxine. Good answer.

Nostradamus, before he wrote his famous prophecies,

wrote a treatise on jam.

-Did he?

-He did, yeah.

-Did it come true?

LAUGHTER

-There is jam.

-Yeah, there you go. Brilliant.

-Now, Bo.

-Hello.

-Bo, welcome.

-Thanks very much.

-Good to have you here.

-Now, Bo, what do you do?

-I'm a student in London, and I study politics and Spanish.

Very good indeed. Now, Bo, is that short for...?

I think it's short for Albert.

My parents made a terrible decision naming me.

They decided to go for Michael, which is my dad's name, and that

-turned out to be a bit confusing when there were two Michaels about.

-Well, it would.

We had an uncle Bo and a great-uncle Bo, and I became the next Bo.

In your family, there are many Bos to your string. AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND GROANS

-That's good.

-Thanks. It didn't deserve a groan, to be fair.

LAUGHTER

Now, then, Bo. This board is all yours.

So, you're good on Spanish, I reckon you're good on French, too.

See, this is what I was thinking.

I thought, "what looks sort of similar?"

And it turns out there isn't a lot of crossover,

so I'm going to play it safe and go for les frites as chips.

Les frites, chips, says Bo.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said chips.

It's right. Oh!

-90! There's your answer.

-APPLAUSE

90 people said chips for frites.

Yeah. A big score.

There wasn't a huge amount of option left on the board, there.

La poire, you might have had a guess at, is pear.

That would have scored you 30 points.

Do you know la betterave?

-It's a beetroot.

-It is a beetroot. It's exactly a beetroot.

Would have scored you 8 points.

And the best answer on the board is la myrtille.

-Blueberry. There you are.

-Would have scored you three points.

Best answer there. Well done if you said that.

Thanks very much. We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at the scores.

12, very much the best score of that pass. Kevin, well done.

From 12 we then go up to 31 where we find Maxine and Sara,

up to 57 where we find Ryan and Carys,

90 for Bo and Charlie.

Luckily, Charlie knows his French like the back of his hand.

THEY LAUGH

We'll come back down the line now. Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put seven more food items in French on the board,

and here they come.

We've got...

I'll read those all one last time.

Remember, we are looking for the English translations

of these food items in French.

And yes, Charlie, you need to find a nice, low scoring one

cos you're on 90. Charlie, what do you do?

-I'm also a student at UCL, and I study philosophy.

-Philosophy.

What sort of things do you get up to when you're not studying?

Me and Bo are both in a society at University which is

a magazine that we both do, sort of a Private Eye style thing,

it's a bit of investigative journalism, a bit of satire.

-And it comes out how often?

-Four times a year.

It's a very limited budget, so it's sort of black and white, just folded, no paperclips.

Very good. Good stuff.

There you are, you're on 90. We need a low score from you.

Anything there that takes your fancy, Charlie?

I've had quite a lot of French food,

but I don't necessarily know what it's all called.

I'm going on intuition to say l'anchois is anchovies.

-L'anchois, anchovies, says Charlie.

-Yes.

-L'anchois, anchovies.

No red line for you as you're the high scorers,

but let's see how many of our 100 people said anchovies.

It's right.

-Ooh, 35.

-APPLAUSE

Not bad, takes your total up to 125.

A very good answer, a good start to the second pass.

They are a very strong flavour, that's due to the curing process

-Fresh anchovies are rather mild.

-Mmm.

OK, Sara.

I have a hunch, you are going to be in Round Two, this time.

It was Round One last time.

Well, I failed French O-level. So...

-I'm going to play it safe.

-OK.

-I'm going to go for le gateau.

-Le gateau.

-That's cake.

You know there's safe...?

I know. I know.

And then...

I'm just thinking out loud. You're on 31.

If you can score 93 or less,

then we will say no more about it

and you will be through.

OK, there is your red line.

If you get below that you are through to the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said gateau was cake.

It's right!

-87! It's fine. It's fine.

-APPLAUSE

Your total is 118.

-We will say no more about it.

-Yeah, you were so unlucky last time,

-you deserve a bit of luck this time around.

-Thank you.

The most expensive ever piece of cake was from the

Duke and Duchess of Windsor's wedding.

£18,000 at auction.

That's quite a good way of paying for a wedding, isn't it?

-Auction off the cake?

-Yeah.

Thanks very much, indeed. OK, now then, Carys.

-You and Ryan were at university together?

-Yes, we were.

That means you have also just left?

I graduated but I am now studying for an MA,

-so I'm still at university.

-You're still there and what's your MA in?

-English Literature.

-Right, you are.

There you are on 57.

The high scorers are still Charlie and Bo on 125.

67 or less gets you through.

I'm not sure that I'm going to be able to score that low.

There is one that I think I know, but I'm not particularly confident.

I think that les epinards might be spinach.

Spinach, you're going to say for les epinards.

Let's see if that's right. There is your red line.

If you get below that with spinach, you're in Round Two. Let's see how many people said it.

It's right!

You are through.

-APPLAUSE

-13, very well done, indeed.

Rather neatly that takes your total of a nice round 70.

A really good answer, Carys, well played, safely through.

Shirley, you're through to the next round. This is the bit...

The three answers that have been said were the only ones that I knew.

Do you want to have a guess at some of them?

Le chou-fleur, there's flower there, but I don't know.

There's choux pastry - flower pastry.

No idea about l'huitre.

So la pasteque, I'll take a punt that it's pasta.

Purely because it looks like pasta.

OK, you are going to say pasteque, pasta.

OK, no red line for you as you are already through.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said pasta.

I'm afraid it is not pasta.

That scores you 100 and takes your total up to 112

but you were already through, so it doesn't matter.

Yeah, you won't be the only person making that guess, Shirley.

It is, actually, watermelon.

It scored four points, so a terrific answer.

-Le chou-fleur is an absolute classic GCSE...

-Cauliflower.

Yeah, it would have scored you 40.

-L'huitre?

-An oyster.

-Oyster, absolutely.

It would have scored you 11. Le dinde?

-I do know it's a turkey.

-It is a turkey. Tres bon!

It would have scored you douze points.

Thank you very much, indeed.

At the end of our first round, the pair heading home

is Charlie and Bo on 125.

-I'm sorry.

-C'est la vie!

As you say, la vie. I'm sorry.

Next time you come on, let's hope there will be some politics

and philosophy on your first round to see you through.

It's been great having you on, although brief.

We will see you next time. Thanks very much, Charlie and Bo!

APPLAUSE

For the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

So three pairs remain.

Obviously, at the end of this round, we will be saying goodbye to another pair.

OK, our category for Round Two is...

The Beatles and The Stones.

Can you all decide who's going first and who's going second.

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Songs by The Beatles or The Stones with pronouns in their titles.

-Richard.

-In a moment, we are going to show you five words.

We're looking for any UK Top 40 hit by either The Beatles or

The Rolling Stones that have one or more of those words in their title.

Up to February 2014, any UK Top 40 hit by The Beatles

or The Stones with one of the following words in its title.

Thanks very much. As Richard mentioned, we're going to put five words up on the board.

They'll stay up through the round. We need any song by The Stones or The Beatles

with one of these words in, and here are those words.

All of them pronouns.

Shirley... Here we go, Shirley.

SHE GIGGLES

I stand a chance with this one, I think.

Beatles song, Love Me Do.

Love Me Do, says Shirley. Let's see if it's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right!

It's still going down, look at that!

-Down to 20, well done, Shirley. Good answer.

-APPLAUSE

Well done, Shirley, the band's first ever UK single, got to number 17.

Thanks, Richard. Now, Ryan...

-Yes.

-Ryan.

-Stones or Beatles, which is your...?

-This is awful for me, probably.

I don't know any, really, apart from maybe a really obvious one.

I don't know whether to take a risk and just hope for the best.

By taking a risk, would that be a song that you think you know...?

It's a song title, whether or not it is by one of those two,

I don't know.

Oh, I see. That's better. It wasn't just some words.

I think it's a song.

I don't know whether it's by either one of those two artists.

OK, right.

I'm going to say Easy Please Me.

Easy Please Me...

AUDIENCE CHUCKLES

And hope for the best.

ALEXANDER CHUCKLES

Easy Please Me, let's see if it's right. If it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

I'm afraid an incorrect answer, Ryan.

Not shameful.

That scores you 100 points.

The first time I've ever heard somebody from the audience shout out, "What(?)".

LAUGHTER

Thanks very much, indeed.

Sara...

We want the title of any UK Top 40 hit by The Stones

or The Beatles with any of these words in it.

Yes, music wasn't a good round for us last time.

I am going to go for a Stones hit and Give Me Shelter.

Give Me Shelter, OK.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

Unfortunately, that's a wrong answer,

which means you score the maximum of 100 points.

I'm sorry, Sara.

It's Gimme Shelter, I'm afraid and wasn't a single in the UK, either.

Apart from that...

It was great! Thanks very much, indeed.

We're halfway through the round, let's take a look at those scores.

Only two scores between the three pairs. Shirley, look at that.

Look what you've done.

There you are, halfway through, the lowest score, very well done.

Then Sara and Maxine, Ryan and Carys,

all there on 100. Maxine, it's between you and Carys

in the next pass.

Best of luck. We're coming back down the line. Can the second players step up to the podium?

Maxine, remember we're looking for the title of any UK Top 40 hit

by The Beatles or The Rolling Stones that contains at least

one of these five pronouns.

OK, again, not strong for me, this.

I've got two answers, one which I think will be really high,

one which is a bit of a punt.

I'm going to go for the punt. Why not?

Please Please Me.

Please "Easy" Please Me.

OK, no red line for you as you are joint high scorers

but let's see how many of our 100 people said Please Please Me.

-It's right.

-Yes!

-Seven! Very well done, indeed.

-APPLAUSE

Seven takes your total up to 107.

It gives Carys a bit of a target to aim for.

Yeah, I think that's the one Ryan was thinking of, a number two hit from 1963, good answer.

Thanks very much indeed.

Now then... Carys.

You have to score six or less.

Which I think will be easily doable but only if you have a really

good working knowledge of The Beatles and Stones' back catalogue.

Unfortunately, I don't.

I've got one but I think...

I'm not sure of the wording and I'm not sure if it was a single.

The only other ones I can think of will score really high.

I'm going to have to go for it.

OK.

She's A Rainbow.

She's A Rainbow. OK, She's A Rainbow.

There is your red line, Carys.

If you can get below that, you're in there head-to-head.

Let's see if She's A Rainbow's right and how many people said it.

I'm sorry, Carys, that's an incorrect answer.

It scores you the maximum of 100 points. Your total is 200.

Yeah, exactly the same problem as Sara.

It's an album track, a lovely track but just an album track in the UK.

Thanks very much, indeed.

Now then, Kevin, good news, you're in the head-to-head.

So any Stones or Beatles Top 40 hit with one of these pronouns in.

Erm, I'm going to go... and I hope this is the title

because when you're standing here you doubt everything

that you ever knew.

I hope it's the title.

I'm going to go with I Wanna Hold Your Hand.

I Wanna Hold Your Hand, says Kevin.

No red line, you're already through. Let's see how many people said that.

-15!

-APPLAUSE

35 is your total, very well done.

Well played, Kevin, safe and sound a number one single from 1963,

I Want To Hold Your Hand.

There are quite a few pointless answers here, actually.

Do you want to have a go at this, or are you all right?

Erm, Paint It Black.

-Would have scored you nine points.

-Oh!

-Good answer.

Let's take a look at the pointless ones.

You'll recognise some of them.

Ain't She Sweet by The Beatles.

Almost Hear You Sigh by The Stones.

Baby It's You was a pointless answer.

All of those, pointless.

You also could have had, Let It Rock by the Rolling Stones.

All of those pointless.

Low scorers, you could have got one point for I Feel Fine, by the Beatles

and All You Need Is Love by the Beatles.

Also one point for It's All Over Now I Want to Be Your Man

and It's Only Rock And Roll by The Stones.

Let's take a look at the top three answers.

Thanks very much. At the end of our second round the pair heading home

with their high score of 200, I'm afraid, it's Carys and Ryan.

Yes, I'm afraid Beatles and Stones, we had you there.

I knew Let It Be.

I probably should have said that, on reflection.

-On reflection, you should have.

-I thought it was too easy.

On reflection, it probably wouldn't have saved you, though.

It would have been a good answer. We will see you next time. We look forward to that.

Thanks very much, Carys and Ryan.

APPLAUSE

But for Maxine and Sara, Kevin and Shirley

it's now time for the head-to-head.

Congratulations, Kevin and Shirley, Maxine and Sara,

you are now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for a jackpot which currently stands at £2,250.

APPLAUSE

To decide who is going to play for that money you're going

to go head-to-head. The difference being you are now allowed to confer.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for the jackpot.

Shirley, you have done it. Fantastic, Love Me Do.

Wonderful low scoring answer in that round. Very well done indeed.

And Maxine and Sara, you have done it,

you have made it through to the head-to-head.

It was round one last time. Most unfairly.

But this time, fair and square in the head-to-head.

Best of luck to both pairs, let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question and it concerns...

Famous monocle wearers, Richard.

We will show you five pictures of famous monocle wearers,

and you need to tell us the name of the most obscure, please.

Thanks very much indeed. Let's reveal our five monocle wearers,

and here they are, we have got...

There we go. Five famous monocle wearers.

Kevin and Shirley, you played best throughout the show so you will go first.

OK, I think we are going to go for C, Terry Thomas.

C, Terry Thomas, say Kevin and Shirley. Terry Thomas.

Maxine and Sara, do you want to talk us through the rest of the board?

Well, A is Patrick Moore, E is Chris Eubank.

Really don't know B or D.

So, I guess we will go for E, Chris Eubank.

OK, E, Chris Eubank say Maxine and Sara.

Kevin and Shirley said C was Terry Thomas.

Let's see if C was Terry Thomas and how many people said it.

It's right.

44.

APPLAUSE

Now then, Maxine and Sara, you have said Chris Eubank for E.

Let's see if that is right and how many of our 100 said Chris Eubank.

It is right.

59.

APPLAUSE

Well done. Kevin and Shirley after one question you are up 1-0.

Two big scores but there was an even bigger score for A, Patrick Moore.

Think both teams knew. 71 points for him.

The actor Charles Laughton is B. He'd have scored you 19.

And there is a pointless answer, the Italian film director

Federico Fellini, very well done if you said that, pointless answer.

Thanks very much indeed.

Here comes your second question. Maxine and Sara, you get to

answer this one first but you have to win it to stay in the game.

Best of luck. It concerns...

Western films.

I will show you five clues to facts about Westerns.

Can you guess the most obscure answer?

OK, let's reveal our five clues, and here they come.

I will read those all one last time.

Maxine and Sara, you will go first.

It is not great for us, is it?

But we are going to go for the Quentin Tarantino film,

-Django Unchained.

-Django Unchained, say Maxine and Sara. Django Unchained.

Now, Kevin and Shirley, the board is yours.

Well, we think the first one is spaghetti westerns,

the remake of the Seven Samurai we think is Magnificent Seven.

We think Django Unchained is right.

The Mel Brooks spoof is Blazing Saddles,

but I think, fingers crossed

that we say it right, we're going to go for the composer, and that's Enrico Morricone.

Enrico Morricone, say Kevin and Shirley. Enrico Morricone.

Now then, Maxine and Sara, you said Django Unchained.

Let's see if that's right for the Quentin Tarantino film,

how many people said it if it is?

It is right.

Great answer. 11. Good score.

APPLAUSE

Now, Kevin and Shirley have said Enrico Morricone. Let's see

if that's right and how many of our 100 people said that.

No, I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer which means

that after two questions, Maxine and Sara, you're back in the game

and it's 1-1.

That's immensely unlucky, it's Ennio Morricone, I'm afraid.

Not Enrico. Enrico is a whole different name.

I can't accept it, I'm afraid.

It would have been a terrific answer. Would have scored you 6 points,

Ennio Morricone.

You're right about all the others,

spaghetti western was right would have scored you too many points.

The all would have scored you too many points is the good news.

89 for that. Seven Samurai was remade as

The Magnificent Seven, would have scored you 35

and it was Blazing Saddles at the bottom, another big score.

Would have scored you 50.

Thanks very much indeed. So it comes down to the third and final question, this is the decider.

Whoever wins this goes through to the final. Best of luck.

It concerns...

Endangered animals.

I will show you the names of five animals that the WWF list as endangered in 2013,

we have missed out every alternate letter, can you fill in the gaps?

Very best of luck.

OK, let's reveal our five endangered animals, and here they are...

I will read those all one last time.

Kevin and Shirley, you will go first.

Go for that? Yeah, let's go for that.

OK, we think the top one is leatherback turtle.

Leatherback turtle, say Kevin and Shirley.

Maxine and Sara, do you want to talk us through the rest of the board?

We think the second one is chimpanzee,

the third one is polar bear.

The fourth one is Bengal tiger, and the bottom one is something gorilla.

I wish I knew that because that would be quite good.

-OK, we will go for chimpanzee.

-You will go for chimpanzee.

So we have leatherback turtle versus chimpanzee.

Kevin and Shirley said leatherback turtle.

Let's see if it is right and how many people said it.

It's right.

Wow! 3!

APPLAUSE

-3 for a leatherback turtle. Shirley, was that yours?

-It was.

-Congratulations.

-I'm on a roll now.

-You sure are.

Maxine and Sara have gone for chimpanzee.

Let's see if chimpanzee's right and how many of 100 people said that.

It's right.

Still a good answer, 19.

APPLAUSE

Very well done. After three questions, Kevin and Shirley,

you are through to the final 2-1.

Best two answers on the board there. Couldn't beat Shirley. That's a terrific answer. Well played.

Polar bear, you're right, it would have scored you too many, 53.

Surprisingly small score.

Bengal tiger, you're right about as well,

that would have scored you 44 and it is a gorilla.

And you'll kick yourself, it's the mountain gorilla.

It would have scored you too many points, it would have scored 23.

Thanks very much indeed.

At the end of our head-to-head round, the pair leaving us,

I'm afraid, is Sara and Maxine.

But three perfectly good answers in that round.

It's been lovely having you on both shows, you have done very much better today than you did last time.

But sadly not through to the final, but still you have done well.

Thanks so much for playing, Sara and Maxine.

APPLAUSE

But, for Kevin and Shirley, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Kevin and Shirley. You've fought off

all the competition and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £2,250.

AUDIENCE: Whoo!

The whole thing's been turned on its head

for Shirley. First, Love Me Do, then the leatherback turtle.

Kevin, she's carrying you!

LAUGHTER

I jest.

Well, very best of luck. As always, you get to choose your category

from the four things on the board. Let's find out what they are today.

They are...

Chick-Lit, I haven't got a clue.

-Literature, but not Chick-Lit.

-No.

-Young Achievers?

-What could it be,

-Young Achievers?

-Scottish Sport.

Sport is just out of the question, always.

We are old enough to remember 1984!

-I think we are stuck with it, aren't we?

-Yeah. The Year 1984.

-OK.

The Year 1984, it is.

OK, here are your three options.

Hopefully, one of these will suit you.

They are all very different. We are looking for...

Anyone nominated for any of the big four acting categories

at the 1984 Academy Awards - Best Actress, Best Actor,

Best Supporting Actress, Best Supporting Actor.

Any GB medallist at the 1984 Summer Olympics,

whether individually or as part of a team.

Or we are looking for the name of any UK number one single from 1984 -

the name of the song, rather than the act.

So, any Oscar-nominated actor, any GB medallist

or any UK number one single. All from 1984. Very, very best of luck.

Thanks very much, indeed.

As always, you have got up to one minute to come up with three answers

and all you need to win that jackpot is for just one of those answers

to be pointless. Are you ready?

-Yes.

-Absolutely.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

Your time starts now.

-I think the medallists are out.

-I don't know.

In 1984, Allan Wells, was he around then? Mary Peters?

I don't know. I can't help you.

Erm...they are the only two that, sort of, spring to mind.

Was it Daley Thompson's era, 1984? Dunno.

Oscar-nominated actors. Helen Mirren, maybe, then.

-Erm...

-It would be high, though.

-Yes, who else was around '84?

Geoffrey Rush. When was Shine? When did he do that?

-Erm...

-'84.

-We could have a go.

And number one singles, '84. Any, sort of, New Romantic-type stuff

or... Can you think of any?

-Only Gold. Spandau Ballet stuff.

-Spandau Ballet, Gold?

-We can give it a go.

-Ten seconds left.

-We could give it a go.

So, if we went for... Let's go for Spandau Ballet, Gold, let's go for

erm...

-Daley Thompson...

-And Helen Mirren.

-And Geoffrey Rush.

-Geoffrey Rush.

I now need your three answers. What are you going to give me?

OK, from the top one, we are going to have a go at Geoffrey Rush.

-OK, Geoffrey Rush.

-For nominated actors.

The GB medallists,

we are going to throw our hat in the ring with Daley Thompson.

Daley Thompson, you are going to say.

UK number one singles, we are going to try Spandau Ballet and Gold.

Gold. OK.

Of those three, which do you think is your best shot at a pointless?

-Erm...your guess is as good as mine. Shall we...

-Daley Thompson.

-Daley Thompson.

-OK, Daley Thompson, we will put last,

-as a medallist in the Summer Olympic Gamers.

-Yeah.

-Which is your least likely to be pointless?

-Gold, at the top.

-Gold.

-Yeah.

-Number one single, from 1984. OK, let's pop those up

on the board in that order and here they are. We've got...

Very, very best of luck.

Three good-looking answers on the board.

Are they right? Are they pointless? We don't yet know.

If one of them were to be pointless and you won that £2,250,

what would you do with it? Shirley, I'll come to you first.

We want to go over to America, to see Kevin's half-sisters,

who he has not seen since he was about...four?

And I've never met them, so we'd like to use it for the air fare

to go over to Ohio.

Very good. Kevin, anything else you want to add to that?

Well, we've always thought of getting ourselves a little boat,

-just to potter around in the bay, so...

-But not in Northampton.

-I was wondering which...

-Northampton probably

-the furthest from the sea anyone could possibly get!

-Which bay?

-We love Swanage Bay.

-The Isle of Purbeck.

OK. Very good, indeed. Best of luck, as I say.

Your first answer was Gold. Spandau Ballet's Gold.

Was that a UK number one in 1984?

Has to be right, has to be pointless for you to win the jackpot.

For £2,250, let's see how many said Gold.

No! Bad luck!

I'm afraid, an incorrect answer.

So, that is not going to win it for you. Only two more shots

at today's jackpot. Your next answer...

We were looking for Oscar-nominated actors from 1984

and you've said Geoffrey Rush.

Again, it has to be correct and pointless

for you to win that jackpot.

So let's find out how many people said Geoffrey Rush.

No! I'm afraid it's also an incorrect answer.

Everything is now riding on your third and final answer,

which is Daley Thompson,

which happily enough is the one

you thought was probably the most likely to be pointless.

Let's hope it's correct, let's hope it's pointless.

If it is, it'll win you £2,250.

How many people said Daley Thompson was a medallist

in the Summer Olympics in 1984?

It's right! It's right!

Your first answer, Gold, was incorrect.

Geoffrey Rush was also incorrect

but Daley Thompson absolutely on the money...

15.

-APPLAUSE

-We got one!

Well, you got one. And 15 is a great score.

Sadly, though, you didn't manage to find

that all important pointless answer

so I'm afraid you don't win our jackpot of £2,250.

That will rollover onto the next show,

but it's been great having you on both shows

and you get to take home a Pointless trophy, so well done.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, you've played very well for two shows.

Now, Gold was a number two single from 1983

so the numbers add up to the same but not an answer, I am afraid.

Geoffrey Rush, though, it's before his time. 1997, he won his Oscar.

Let's take a look at the pointless answers in the different categories.

Educating Rita, both Julie Walters and Michael Caine,

they were both nominated.

You could have had Glenn Close, John Lithgow, Robert Duvall,

Tom Conti, Tom Courtenay also nominated, for The Dresser.

Now, Kathy Cook, who won two bronzes.

You could have had Kriss Akabusi, he was in the relay team,

all of whom were pointless answers.

Lucinda Green, formerly Lucinda Prior-Palmer.

Tessa Sanderson, who won javelin gold, was a pointless answer.

In fact, everybody except for Seb Coe, Daley Thompson,

Steve Cram, Steve Redgrave and Fatima Whitbread -

every single other person,

including all of the hockey team, all of the relay teams,

all were pointless. Well done if you said one.

And number one singles - actually not that many pointless answers,

about eight in all. 99 Red Balloons by Nena,

Chaka Khan's I Feel For You.

Stevie Wonder's I Just Called To Say I Love You,

Paul McCartney - Pipes of Peace.

You also could have had Freedom by Wham,

I Should Have Known Better, Jim Diamond,

Only You, which was The Flying Pickets, and The Power of Love.

Thanks very much indeed. Well, we have to say goodbye to you

but it's been great having you on both shows.

Thank you so much for playing. Kevin and Shirley!

APPLAUSE

Well, sadly Kevin and Shirley didn't win our jackpot today,

which means it rolls over onto the next show,

-when we will be playing for £3,250.

-CHEERING

Join us next time to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.