Episode 33 Pointless

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I am Alexander Armstrong

and welcome to Pointless, the show where the aim of the game is to

score as few points as you can and you do that by coming up with

the answers no-one else could think of. Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hi, my name's Tom. This is my friend Angus and we are both from London.

-Couple number two.

-Hi, I'm Kathryn and this is my housemate Allie

-and we are both from Surbiton.

-Couple number three.

Hi, my name is Clemency. This is my dad Roy

-and we're from Basingstoke.

-And finally, couple number four.

My name is Craig, this is my pregnant partner Karen

and we're from Oldham.

And these are today's contestants.

CHEERING

Thanks very much. We'll find out more about each of you throughout

the show as it goes along. That just leaves one more person for me

to introduce. He's always got his nose in a book,

his finger in a pie and... Let's just leave it at that.

-It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-Hiya. Hi, everyone.

-How are you?

-I'm very well indeed.

-Excellent.

We've got a lot of familiar faces on today.

So, three of our pairs were on last time, weren't they?

Tom and Angus, they're on podium one, did the best of all.

-Did very well.

-Went all the way through to the head-to-head.

And Roy and Clemency in Round Two.

And Kathryn and Allie we need to see a bit more of.

Got knocked out in Round One.

So yesterday, I went down to see my mum and I got a cab back

to the station down in Sussex, Haywards Heath station,

-and guess who the cab driver was?

-No?

-It was Ronnie.

-No!

-You know Ronnie?

I remember Ronnie, yeah.

No, Ronnie, Kathryn's dad.

-INCREDULOUS:

-No!

-How weird is that?

I get in the cab, he says...I get in the cab and he just says,

"I should probably point out,

"yeah, my daughter's just been on your show."

-Just literally out of nowhere. Isn't that bizarre?

-Yeah.

Proceeded to tell... Give me about half an hour's anecdotes

about Kathryn, none of which can be repeated, but...

EVERYONE LAUGHS

I thought it was interesting.

But apparently she had a nice time.

Apparently she was gutted to be knocked out in Round One.

-He's proud of Kathryn in lots of ways, I think.

-That's good.

Law student, you know you're doing very, very well for yourself.

But I think if you go home after another Round-Oner,

I'm not sure Ronnie is going to be delighted.

-No. Disowned.

-Yeah, there was little something in his voice.

Anyway, a very nice man, but isn't that an amazing coincidence?

Isn't that nice. Did he say at the end,

"I couldn't take your money, Richard.

"I couldn't take your money."

You know, he didn't. EVERYONE LAUGHS

All right, thanks very much indeed, Richard. All of our questions

on Pointless have been asked to 100 people before the show.

As ever the aim of the game is to find a pointless answer, that

being an answer that none of our 100 people gave.

Find one of those and we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Now Arwel and Steve didn't win the jackpot last time,

so we add another £1,000 to that.

So, today's jackpot starts off at...

Right, if everyone's ready, Let's play Pointless.

All you have to remember is that the pair with the highest

score at the end of each round will be eliminated.

Your job is to make sure that's not you. Our first category today is...

Football. Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name

as many Champions League countries as they could.

Champions League countries. Richard?

We're simply looking for any country who's had at least one club

represent them in the group stages of the Champions League all

the way through from 1992 up to the 2012, 2013 tournament.

So any country outside the UK that's had any team in the group

stages of the Champions League, please.

-Thanks very much indeed. Now, Angus, welcome back.

-Hello.

Remind us what you do, Angus.

So, I work at a marketing agency.

So we have a number of clients

and I just market their products and services.

Outside of marketing, Angus, what do you like to get up to?

I like to play football, funnily enough,

and I also like to play a bit of video games as well. So...

OK, now, Angus, what are you going to go for?

I am going to go for...

I know a few, but I'm going to try and...

obviously, go for one that not a lot of people would have said.

I'm going to go for Switzerland.

Switzerland, says Angus. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Switzerland.

It's right.

13!

That seems a pretty good score to get the ball rolling.

Well done, Angus. 13 for Switzerland.

Yeah, they've had a few teams in those group stages.

FC Basel, Zurich, Grasshoppers.

One of the best named teams in Europe.

-I'm not going to argue with that.

-Good name for a team, isn't it?

-It is a great name.

-They used to actually BE grasshoppers playing,

that's where they got the name from.

-Very hard to spot on the field I'd have thought.

-Yeah, certainly

the camouflage was good, but the...

Other than that, they were absolutely hopeless.

ALEX LAUGHS

Thanks very much indeed. Now then, Kathryn.

-Hello.

-So, did you know about this? Had you heard?

-Did your dad ring you immediately?

-I did, I think my dad rang me

the minute Richard must've got out of the car. And I could not believe

my luck... Well, luck, not really, but I could not believe it.

Wow! Did the immortal words, "You'll never guess

"who I've just had in the back of my cab."

That was pretty much it, yeah.

-How many times has he rung you and said that?

-Erm...

-that must be the first.

-That's the first time? Very good.

-So, Kathryn, last time it was Round One.

-Yes.

-This shall not pass.

-That...that... We won't be...

-That's not good enough.

We are going to see much more of you today. What would be the...

What's your favourite Pointless round? I mean, is there a round

that you see and think, "Oh, I'd be brilliant at this?"

Erm, if Harry Potter came up today, that would be like a dream

come true. But not sure, maybe a backup.

I'm fairly good on snooker knowledge,

so snooker wouldn't be too bad.

OK, and football, Champions League?

My brother and my dad have always got it on the telly

and I'm just trying to think of teams.

I'm going to say a country, but I'm not 100% sure.

I'm going to risk it and say Poland.

-Poland...

-Yes.

-..says Kathryn. Let's see if Poland's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Poland.

It is right.

Well, 13 is what we kicked off with for Switzerland. Poland...

16.

Yeah, Legia Warsaw in Poland actually got through to the

quarterfinals of the Champions League.

There's another team much more recently,

but I'm not even going to begin to try and pronounce it.

-OK...

-But it's got Z's and W's in it. Yeah.

You know the one I'm talking about.

-Uh, Clemency, welcome back.

-Thank you.

-Now then, ah, yes, Round Two last time.

-Yeah.

-Now, Clemency, remind us what you do.

-I'm a student at Bristol, yeah.

-But a student of...?

-Zoology.

Which is just got to be the best thing to study, isn't it?

-Yeah, it's great. I really like it.

-And where are you hoping to go

-with zoology?

-Marine biology, I hope.

-That's the direction?

-Yeah.

Will you be based here, do you think,

if you do Marine biology or do you think you'll be...?

I could be, but I like to travel.

-The Florida Keys maybe, somewhere like that.

-Yeah.

Yes, the world's your oyster pretty much as a marine biologist.

Exactly, yeah.

Now then, how are you feeling about Champions League football?

Football isn't too bad for me,

but I don't really follow Champions League at all.

But I think I could maybe guess.

I'm just going to kind of take a bit of a punt at something.

I'm just going to try Portugal.

Portugal, says Clemency. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Portugal.

Absolutely right.

16 our high score, 13 our low at this point.

Portugal takes you to 27.

It's not a bad answer, though.

Yeah, long history in the Champions League, Portugal.

Porto probably the most famous, actually won it under Jose Mourinho.

Thanks very much, Richard.

-Now, Karen, welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

What do you do, Karen?

I'm an administrator.

Can I ask what you administrate?

-LAUGHS:

-It's a small company and we supply building materials.

OK, and what are your hobbies, Karen? What fills your time?

-I do a lot of reading.

-Very good.

-Walking the dog.

-What sort of dog have you got?

-German shepherd.

-What's his name?

-She's called Belle.

-She is called Belle.

-She is.

See, that's a good name for German Shepherd.

It...it could have been worse.

-Yes, sometimes, they have quite scary names.

-Yeah.

I don't know why, but just sometimes they do. And as far as...

I can't think of a single heavyweight boxer called Belle.

I'm sure you'll know one, but... Yeah.

Now then, Karen, football...

-Yes.

-How are we feeling about this?

Could be better.

Well, so far people have just been saying the names of countries

and it seems to be fine.

I just don't know whether to take a risk or not.

Play it safe and let somebody else trying take the risk.

ALEX LAUGHS

Craig is looking to the sky. Well...

I'll play it safe.

No, I'll play it safe.

-And I'll go for Holland.

-Holland.

Holland says Karen. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Holland.

Well, let's see where playing it safe takes you.

27 is our high score, 13 our low. 37!

37 for Holland, Karen.

Yeah, the Netherlands have been represented by all sorts of teams.

-PSV, Ajax, all sorts.

-Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

So we're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores as they stand.

13, very well done, Angus.

Not bad at all. Switzerland, who'd have thought?

That got you out at the top of the

table halfway through the round.

Then up to 16 where we find Kathryn and Allie

and then up to 27 where we find Clemency and Roy.

Then up to 37 where we find Craig and Karen.

There was something about your despair as you were looking up

there, Craig, that tells me that you do know your football, and I think

you'll find a nice low score for us. Best of luck. We'll come back

down the line now. Can the second players

please step up to the podium?

Craig, remember, we are looking for any country that's been represented

by a club team in the group stages of the Champions League.

-Welcome, here from Oldham.

-Yes.

-What do you do, Craig?

I work for the same company as Karen.

I'm sort of a building materials sales person.

-Did you meet at work?

-No, no. I got the job before. I started there.

How did you meet?

We met on a blind date that was set up for...

Karen set it up for a friend of... A mutual friend of ours to go

and meet another friend of ours and I was the tag along...

-Did they get on? Did they?

-They did on the night,

but they've never met ever since.

Aw... That's brilliant! So, what are your interests, Craig?

-Football, unfortunately.

-Perfect.

-Golf.

-Yup.

-Snooker.

Pretty sports...sports related, mainly watching

-rather than participating these days.

-And walking Belle.

And walking Belle.

-So, Craig, there you are. You're on 37. You're the high scorers.

-Yup.

We need a low score.

I've got a couple of answers. Erm...

I'm going to go for a slightly one that I think will be less,

hopefully, if it's right. I'm going to go for Austria.

Austria, says Craig.

Well, Switzerland scored 13, let's see where Austria ends up.

No red line for you as you are the high scorers,

but, yeah, how many people said Austria?

It's right.

Lowest score of the round so far, Craig. Very well done indeed.

That takes your total up to 46.

-It's a tense one this, isn't it?

-Isn't it?

It's going to be very tight, I think.

Yeah, first represented in '94 by FC Salzburg.

Thanks very much indeed.

Now, Roy, welcome back to Pointless.

Yes, we discovered last time you work for half the time in Sweden.

Yes, yes, two weeks Sweden, two weeks home.

-And remind us what you do over there.

-I work in HR.

Right. Why...why...why Sweden particularly?

That was the headquarters of the company that I worked for,

so I got transferred there about two years ago.

So I got a choice between either leaving or sharing my time halfway.

So, you fly over there, do you...

Have you made friends with the rather regular people who commute to

-Sweden?

-No, not on the commute.

But over there, people I work with are pretty nice.

But I go out on a Monday, come home on a Thursday, so it's not too bad.

-It's not too bad.

-No, it's not too bad.

-That isn't too bad.

Roy, you're on 27. The high scorers on 46 are Craig and Karen.

18 or less sees you very comfortably into the next round.

Again, I'm going to go for somewhere a little bit more obscure.

I'm going to say the Ukraine.

The Ukraine. The Ukraine says Roy.

Let's see if that's right and if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people said it. There's your red line.

It's right.

I have a feeling this will go below that line. And it does!

16. Very well done indeed, Roy.

Takes your total up to 43. Sees you into Round Two.

Very well done. Ukraine.

Well played, Roy. Of course, famously Dynamo Kiev

and more recently Shakhtar Donetsk.

-Thanks, Richard. Now, Allie.

-Hello.

Hello to you. Remind us what you do.

I'm a student.

-And you are studying?

-Media and TV.

-And enjoying it?

-Yes.

Particular...particular strands of media and TV?

What are you looking at at the moment?

At the moment, we are filming some documentaries

and stuff like that.

See, that's quite fun. Do you get sort of sent off with camera crew?

-Your own little camera crew.

-Yeah.

-Which do prefer, being producer,

director... I mean, do you do all the sort of sound

and those sorts of things as well?

Yeah, I mainly prefer doing like the producing and stuff like that.

Yeah, interesting. Now, Allie, how do you feel about football?

Erm, it's not my strongest subject,

but I reckon I can take a good guess at it.

You're in a very good place at the moment. There you are.

Kathryn scored 16, lovely, low score there, which means 29 or less...

-OK.

-..carries you through into Round Two. Hey!

-KATHRYN:

-Finally!

Ronnie is going to be thrilled if you get to Round Two.

-I'm going to go for Turkey.

-Turkey.

-Yeah.

I think that has Round Two written all over it. I don't know, but I...

-That'd be my hunch. Let's hope.

-I hope so.

Fingers crossed. How many of our 100 people said Turkey?

Well, it's right.

You're in Round Two. Well done. 18.

34 is your total.

Well played, Allie, it's a very good answer.

Most famously represented by Galatasaray.

-Thank you very much indeed. Now, Tom.

-Hi.

-Welcome back.

Now, we discovered last time, very excitingly,

-you work in crisis insurance.

-I do, yes.

-Yes.

-So terrorism and...

-Terrorism.

-..kidnap and ransom.

Kidnap and ransom, hostage...

-I don't actually kidnap people.

-LAUGHTER

-Just want to make that plain.

-That...

I tell you, I didn't sleep a lot last night and I now know...

Be a good way of drumming up business, though...

-It's very true, actually.

-..if you did.

That is true, actually, Tom. You should think about that.

-I should think about changing careers.

-On the sly.

Now, how long have you done this for?

For about nine months now since I left university.

-OK, so you're not so much negotiating the... You're not...

-No.

You're more negotiating...teas, coffees...?

LAUGHTER

At this stage, some months from now, it will be you...

-Making the phone calls.

-..making the calls.

The crisis is essentially,

-"We've run out of milk."

-Exactly.

-Yeah.

Football, an interest of yours?

-It is, yes.

-32 or less gets you through.

I'm hoping it's going to be less than that.

I'm going to go for Greece.

Greece.

OK, let's see how many of our 100 people said Greece.

Will it get Tom and Angus below that red line?

Well, it's right.

Yep, you got it! Well done. 16.

16. 29 is your total.

Well played, Tom. Yeah, good round, everyone, actually.

Olympiacos, of course, in the last year's event got knocked

out by Manchester United, rather surprisingly 2-0 up

and then lost 3-2. AEK Athens, also a Greek team in the Champions League.

Now, there's no pointless answers at all.

Let's take a look at the lowest scorers.

Cyprus would have been a great answer, Famagusta represented them.

Slovenia also a good answer, both of those scoring 2.

Belarus would have scored you 3. You also would have got 3 for Serbia,

Montenegro, for Bulgaria, for Israel

and 4 points Finland and Slovakia. 5 for Hungary.

Those are the best answers. Let's take a look at the worst answers,

the ones that most of our 100 people said. Germany, 56.

They normally win these, they haven't won this one.

Italy 59, and right at the top - Spain, 61.

That's the new order of world football, I'm afraid.

Thanks very much indeed.

Well, at the end of our first round, I'm sorry to say...

-it's our newcomers Craig and Karen.

-All right.

Come all this way from Oldham and we just gave you one round.

I'm so sorry. You did very, very well. I mean, good answer.

Nothing wrong with any of the answers.

The Netherlands just turned out to be quite a high score there.

And Craig, fabulous, lowest score of the round was yours,

but I'm afraid just wasn't enough to see you through.

We look forward to seeing you again next time.

Craig and Karen, thanks very much for playing.

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And so three pairs remain. Obviously at the end of this round,

we have to say goodbye to another pair. Kathryn and Allie, well done.

-Ronnie is going to be over the moon, isn't he?

-Thank you.

You're in Round Two. One more round

and then you can confer before you give your answers, so...

Phew! That's always nice.

Roy and Clemency, very well done.

Tom and Angus, once again, setting out their stall.

They mean business there on the near podium.

Best of luck to all three pairs. Our category for Round Two today is...

It's Pop Songs. Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Heaven And Hell. Richard?

We're going to show you a series of top 40 singles, all of which

include the words 'heaven' or 'hell'. We just need you to tell us

which act had a top 40 hit with them, please. Very, very best of luck.

OK, so we'd like you to tell us the artist

who had hits with these songs in the years shown.

Here's our first board of six. And we have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

Angus?

This isn't a good one for me.

Pop music has never been a strong suit of mine.

There is one answer on there which I could take a stab at.

And I've got two artists in my head,

which doesn't help. So I've got a 50-50 chance

of perhaps getting it right.

I'm going to say Bat Out Of Hell,

Meatloaf.

Meatloaf, says Angus. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Meatloaf.

It's right.

69. It's a high score, but...

...you might have removed one of the easier answers from the board.

-Richard?

-Yeah, it's been a hit twice, Bat Out Of Hell,

bigger the second time around, but big score for Meatloaf, isn't it?

-Big score.

-Thanks very much. Kathryn.

-Very glad. Well, I say very glad, I know an answer.

-Good.

I knew the one that's just gone

and I think Locked Out Of Heaven is Bruno Mars.

Bruno Mars, says Kathryn for Locked Out Of Heaven.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said Bruno Mars.

It's right.

14. Very well done, Kathryn.

14 for Bruno Mars.

Yeah, good answer, Kathryn. He's one unbelievable songwriter,

Bruno Mars. He started out as just a songwriter. It's only more recently

-he's he started performing his own stuff.

-I didn't know that.

But to enormous success.

He did that at the 2014 Super Bowl half-time as well.

-That's a good song.

-That's good going.

-Now, Roy, that board is all yours.

-HE LAUGHS

Talk us through it... You're laughing, Roy.

I knew Bat Out Of Hell, Meatloaf.

Sadly, I know that Showaddywaddy

did a version of Three Steps To

Heaven in the '70s, but they didn't

do the original.

And I haven't got a clue,

I don't think, on the others.

So I'm going to have a guess and go

for Hell Raiser

and say Led Zeppelin.

Led Zeppelin for Hell Raiser. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said it if it is. Led Zeppelin.

Oh, I'm sorry, Roy. Not Led Zeppelin as it turns out.

That scores you 100 points.

Yes, sorry, Roy never a singles band Led Zeppelin.

Hell Raiser is actually The Sweet.

That's a terrific answer, it would have scored you 4 points.

So, well done if you said that.

The top one is Heaven Is A Place On Earth

is Belinda Carlisle.

Would have scored you 28.

Devon is a place on earth is a more accurate thing to say.

Three Steps To Heaven.

Well, the 1960 version was Eddie Cochran.

Would have scored you 6. And the best answer on the board,

Heaven's What I Feel is Gloria Estefan.

-1 point for that.

-Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, we're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores.

14, Catherine, very well done indeed.

Then up to 69, Angus and Tom.

Then up to 100, Roy and Clemency.

Now, Clemency, you'll get the first bite at the next board,

so find a nice low score and who knows,

maybe it'll be enough to keep you in the game.

But depending on how much Tom knows about his heaven and hell pop songs.

We are going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put six more Heaven And Hell songs on the board.

And here they come.

I'll read those one last time.

Clemency.

I was kind of hoping there would be something a bit newer cos

I don't really know anything about all the music.

And I recognise the names,

but I don't know who they are by.

But I'm going to go for

Highway To Hell and say AC/DC.

AC/DC, says Clemency for Highway To Hell.

No red line as you are the high scorers,

but let's see how many people said AC/DC.

It's right.

21.

That could save you.

We'll have to see how much everyone else knows further down the line,

but that could save you.

Yeah, well done, Clemency. You did all you could there.

It wasn't a huge hit when it first came out.

It was a much bigger hit in 2013 actually.

It was an anti-X Factor... You know, when they trying get something else

to number one at Christmas? It got to number four.

Thanks very much. Now then, Allie.

You are through, by the way even if you score 100 points.

Brilliant cos I don't know any, so...

Oh, well, that's good.

You can have fun guessing at one.

I'm going to go

Knockin' On Heaven's Door

and Cliff Richard.

-I have no idea.

-OK.

Well, listen, no red line for you for the nice reason that

you are already through,

but let's see how many of our 100 people said Cliff Richard.

Oh, I'm afraid that's the incorrect answer.

Scores you the maximum of 100 points.

Takes your total to 114, but you are already through.

Yeah, Cliff doesn't need to knock.

He's got a key. EVERYONE LAUGHS

Yep. Thanks very much indeed. Now, Tom.

Tom, this is where the game is going to be played, Tom.

-Yes.

-Oh, he's got an inscrutable face, Tom, hasn't he?

I do not know if that's panic going on in there or jubilation.

-It's got to be. Got to be.

-Definitely panic.

-That's his training.

This is a crisis. Definitely a crisis right now.

Talk us through the board if you can, Tom.

I know the song

Knockin' On Heaven's Door, but...

You can do your thinking out loud if you like.

It's going round and round in my head

and I can probably sing the song.

But I cannot, for the life of me,

remember who it's by.

The Road To Hell (Part Two), I'm going to hope

it's by Metallica.

OK, Metallica, says Tom. The Road To Hell (Part Two) from 1989.

Let's see if that's right. There is your red line.

If you get below that red line, its head-to-head time.

How many of our 100 people said Metallica?

Oh, Tom, I'm sorry. I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer.

Takes you're total of to 169.

Yeah, sorry, Tom. It's actually it was a very big hit for Chris Rea.

It would have scored you 29 points.

He wrote that song while he was stuck in a traffic jam, as you might

imagine and he...he auctions where he wrote the lyrics.

He wrote the lyrics and all it is...

is the lyrics, an Indian takeaway menu and a note to phone Brenda.

It's quite sweet, isn't it?

-Well, that's what was written on his thing?

-Yes.

He must... Because he also did Driving Home For Christmas.

He must've spent a lot of time in the car.

A lot of songs written while he's just going...

-HE SIGHS:

-Tapping on the roof.

Every time he needs another hit, he must think,

"I'll just go for a drive somewhere busy."

Tough board this one, actually.

Well, Hell Hath No Fury is Frankie Lane

and it's a pointless answer. So very well done if you said that.

Lots and lots of people will be shouting this next answer out.

-It is...

-Smiths.

-The Smiths. Heaven Knows I'm Miserable now.

23. Heaven Is In The Back Seat Of My Cadillac...

-HE SIGHS:

-I don't know.

Would that work on anyone?

It's by Hot Chocolate. It would have scored you 2 points.

Now, Knockin' on Heaven's Door, it's been a hit for a number of people.

It was a big hit for Guns N' Roses, but this is

-Bob Dylan.

-Oh.

14 points for that. He wrote it, of course.

Thanks for a much indeed, Richard. So, at the end of our second round,

I'm afraid it's Tom and Angus

our go-getting low scorers last time

and you seemed to be on track for another low score this time.

I'm sorry. That was... I mean, did you know any of those?

I should really have known the Chris Rea one cos my dad has him

on constantly, so, maybe I'll have to find somewhere else to live now.

-LAUGHTER

-I'm really sorry we have to say

goodbye to you, Tom and Angus. It's great having you on the show.

Thank you so much for playing.

Really good contestants. Tom and Angus.

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Kathryn and Allie, Roy and Clemency.

You are now one step closer to the final and a chance to play for our

jackpot, which currently stands at...

Here's the point where we decide who gets to play for that

jackpot. And we do that by making you go head-to-head.

Of course, the difference is you are now allowed to chat before you

give your answers. You can have a good confer,

and the first pair to win two questions will be playing for the

jackpot. Well, neither of you have been here before.

Well, best of luck to both pairs. Let's play head-to-head.

Here comes your first question and it concerns...

Famous Dresses. Richard?

We're going to show you five pictures of famous dresses now.

Can you tell us who is wearing each one, please?

Thanks very much indeed. Let's find out. Let's reveal our five dresses

and here they come. We've got...

OK, five famous dresses.

Kathryn and Allie, you have been our low scorers

throughout the show, so you will go first.

THEY WHISPER

-I know D. It's really frustrating.

-Yeah, I know!

-We should just go for A.

-Yeah.

-OK.

-Yeah.

-You OK?

-Yeah.

Erm...we know a couple definitely.

A few of them look familiar,

but not 100% sure.

So we're going to go with A

and Lady Gaga.

A - Lady Gaga, say Kathryn and Allie. A - Lady Gaga.

Now, Roy and Clemency, do you fancy talking us

through the other dresses?

Well, we can try.

We knew A was Lady Gaga.

We think B is maybe Geri Halliwell.

C, Elizabeth Hurley.

E is Queen Elizabeth II, yeah.

And D, we're not too sure on.

-I think...

-It's either Naomi Campbell

or maybe David Bowie's wife, Iman.

-But we're not sure. So we will go for C - Elizabeth Hurley.

-Yeah.

OK, C - Elizabeth Hurley.

So, we have Lady Gaga and Elizabeth Hurley.

Kathryn and Allie said that A was Lady Gaga.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how

many of our 100 people said that.

It's right.

56.

56 for Lady Gaga.

Meanwhile, Roy and Clemency have named C as Elizabeth Hurley.

Let's see if that's right and if it is,

let's see how many people said Liz Hurley.

It's right.

And you win, well done. 46 for Liz Hurley.

Roy and Clemency, after one question you are up 1-0.

Let's take a look through the rest. You're right about B.

It's Geri Halliwell. Biggest scorer up there though,

would have scored you 74 points.

D is Grace Jones,

would have scored you 22.

Now, I know Geri Halliwell scored 74,

but you'd think the Queen would score more than 74, wouldn't you?

But it's not the Queen.

It's not the Queen. A lot of our 100 people said it was.

It's a pointless answer.

It's actually Jackie Kennedy.

That's the dress she married JFK in.

All right, thanks very much indeed.

Here comes your second question. Kathryn and Allie, come on.

Ronnie is going to be getting nervous round about now.

We need a score from you. You have to win this one to stay in the game.

Best of luck. It concerns...

-Aesop's Fables. Richard.

-Going to show you the titles of five

of Aesop's Fables, but with some letters removed.

Can you fill in the gaps?

OK, let's reveal our five fables and here they come. We've got...

I'll read those all one last time.

Now, Roy and Clemency,

you will go first this time.

THEY WHISPER

I guess that's The Fox And The Crow.

Yeah, and The Dog In The Manger.

I don't know any... I don't know.

Let's go with The Dog In The Manger.

Yep, we will go for the second one down,

The Dog In The Manger.

The Dog In The Manger. OK, Roy and Clemency say The Dog In The Manger.

Kathryn and Allie, the board's all yours.

Do you want to talk us through it?

We don't know any, so...

Erm, the bottom one is The Fox

And The...

Let's think of an animal.

-I can't think of an animal.

-THEY LAUGH

OK.

-The Wolf And The...

-Shall I just make something up?

-Make something up.

-The Wolf And The...Cattle. Doesn't even fit

in there, but it will do.

The Wolf And The Cattle.

OK, so, we've got The Dog In The Manger and The Wolf In The Cattle.

Roy and Clemency went for The Dog In The Manger.

Let's see if that's right.

It is.

And it goes down to 27.

Kathryn and Allie, I'm afraid you were struggling with that board

a bit, weren't you? The Wolf And The Cattle you've gone for.

Let's see what the board makes of that.

I'm afraid...I'm afraid an incorrect answer.

Roy and Clemency, very well done.

After only two questions, you are straight through to the final.

-2-0.

-Yeah, it's The Wolf And The Crane is that top one.

And it's a low scorer as well. Would have got you the point.

It would have scored you 5. The next one down.

The next one down is a story about you and I.

It's The Man And The Satyr.

It would have scored you 2 points and that's about you

and I because you are the man and I'm...been sat here for...

700 episodes. LAUGHTER

The next one down also would have won you the point.

-You probably could have worked this one out.

-Horse And Groom.

The Horse And The Groom, yeah. GIRLS GROAN

Would have scored you 11. And the next one is the biggest scorer

cos there's literally only two words that can fit in probably.

The Fox And The Crow.

Would have scored you 57 points.

Thanks very much indeed. So, the pair leaving us at the end

of the head-to-head round, I'm so sorry, Kathryn and Allie.

You've done so well today.

An exemplary performance on Pointless right up to the

head-to-head round.

And then, I'm afraid, Celebrity Dresses and Aesop did for you.

-We are... Ha!

-But you can leave with your heads held high.

You've done very, very well. A creditable performance.

Thanks very much for playing. Kathryn and Allie.

-Great contestants.

-BOTH: Thank you.

But for Roy and Clemency, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Roy and Clemency, you fought off all

the competition and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

and at the end of today show, the jackpot stands at...

-Well, congratulations. That's great.

-BOTH: Thank you.

Round Two last time. This time very, very, easy progress through.

-2-0 in the head-to-head.

-Yeah.

-ALEX SIGHS

-A lot of luck, I think.

What would you like to see come up in this last round?

Sport. Well, for him.

Sport or Nature, something zoology-based would be nice.

OK. Well, as always, you know you get to choose your categories.

We will put four up on the board. Let's see what they are.

Let's hope there's one up there that you like.

Today's options are...

LAUGHTER

-(Politics.)

-Yeah, we'll have to go for that, yeah.

We will go for UK Politics.

OK, UK Politics, it is. Richard.

OK, good luck. Three very different questions here.

We are looking for any politician who's been

the head of the Department Of Health since the war.

That's usually the Secretary Of State for Health.

It's been under different titles, but any minister who heads up

the Department Of Health. We are looking for anyone who's been

a leader of the Labour or Tory party since 1900

who has not become prime minister.

Or we are looking for anybody who has held the post of foreign

secretary and prime minister since 1782.

So, anyone who has headed up the Department For Health

since the war, anyone who has been leader of the Tories or Labour,

but not become prime minister.

Or anyone who has been foreign secretary and prime minister.

Very, very best of luck.

OK. Thank you very much.

Now, as always, you've got up to one minute to come up with three

answers and all you need to win that jackpot, £2,000,

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-BOTH: Yes.

OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

So, do you know...

I don't know anything...

-LAUGHS:

-..so you can just go to them all.

So, Aneurin Bevan was the guy

who founded the Department Of Health.

Unsuccessful Party Leaders.

John Smith was a Labour leader who died.

Foreign Secretary...

There's a guy might...

David Owen was Foreign Secretary

with the Liberal...or with Labour.

Are there Department of Health...

-Who is the current head?

-I don't know.

-Party leaders.

There's been a lot in the Conservative Party.

Do you remember that World War I programme...

No, I'm really sorry, No, I don't. I don't know anything.

So, let's go...let's go John Smith.

Yeah.

Who was the first one you said?

-That's Aneurin Bevan.

-OK.

And let's go foreign secretary...

-10 seconds left.

-..Ernest Bevin.

-Ernest Bevin. OK. Let's do that then. Yeah?

-Yeah.

-We're good? OK.

-OK.

There we are, ahead of time.

You have your three answers.

Let's hear what those answers are.

-So, for the Department Of Health, we're going for Aneurin Bevan.

-OK.

Nye Bevan. Yes, Aneurin Bevan. Yep.

For the Unsuccessful Party Leader, we'll go for John Smith.

-John Smith.

-And for Foreign Secretary,

we'll go for Ernest Bevin.

Ernest Bevin you're going to say for Foreign Secretary.

Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-I think Ernest Bevin.

-OK. Ernest Bevin we will put last.

Least likely to be pointless?

-Aneurin Bevan.

-OK, Nye Bevan we will put first.

OK, let's put those answers

up on the board in that order. And here they are. We've got...

-Well, best of luck.

-BOTH: Thank you.

Your first answer was Aneurin Bevan. This is the one that you thought was

probably least likely to be pointless. Remember, only one of

these has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot. 2,000 quid.

Quite a nice sum to be taking back with you.

Clemency, what would you do with your share of that?

I'm actually saving up at the moment to go on a research trip to Cuba.

See, that's the thing, marine biology. All your...

I mean, do you ever go anywhere unpleasant?

-I mean, is there anywhere?

-Not really, no.

-No.

-It's not too bad.

Yeah.

-But, yeah, that would help a lot towards it, so...

-OK, good.

Roy, how about you?

It's a very expensive trip,

so I think it would also go towards the trip.

AUDIENCE: Aww!

-CHUCKLES:

-To the trip as well.

Maybe, also it could subsidize a little parental trip out

-there as well just make sure everything is going...

-Supervision.

..all right down Havana way.

OK, well very best of luck.

Yes, Aneurin Bevan was your first answer.

In this case, we were looking for Post-war

heads of the Department For Health.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see

if it's pointless for £2,000. Aneurin Bevan.

It's right.

If this goes all the way down to zero,

you will leave here immediately with

2,000 quid in your back pockets.

Nye Bevan now taking us down

to single figures...

Ooh! 7.

APPLAUSE

Very well done indeed.

Not bad at all. Single figures there.

Great score. Sadly, not a pointless answer, though.

So, we have to move on to your next submission, which was John Smith.

In this case, we were looking for unsuccessful party leaders.

Again, it has to be right and then it has to be pointless.

So, let's find out, for £2,000, how many people said John Smith.

It's right. Now, Nye Bevan took us all the way down to 7.

John Smith now taking us down

through the 30s into the 20s,

into the teens, still going down...

Ooh, 13.

APPLAUSE

OK. I'm afraid still not a pointless answer,

so everything now rides on your third and final answer.

The one you thought was your best shot at a pointless answer,

which was Ernest Bevin.

In this case, we were looking for people who were foreign

secretary and prime minister.

It has to be right, then it has to be pointless

for you to win that jackpot.

For £2,000, how many people said Ernest Bevin? Is it pointless?

I'm afraid that's incorrect answer.

Two very good answers there.

Lovely low scores, but I'm afraid no pointless answers.

So I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £2,000.

That will roll over onto the next show,

-but we really enjoyed having you on both shows.

-Thank you.

-And you get a Pointless trophy each to take home.

-Great, thank you.

So, there we are. Well done.

Yeah, very well played. Plenty of pointless answers out there.

Ernest Bevan was foreign secretary, but was never prime minister.

So not of right answer there, but lots of pointless answers

in the different categories.

Let's take a look at the Department Of Health. There's lots of answers

people will know. There are lots of names you'll know,

but that 60 seconds, it's tough.

Alan Johnson of Labour, Frank Dobson of Labour,

Kenneth Clarke was a pointless answer.

Norman Fowler, both of those Tories. Also could have had Enoch Powell.

You could've had Iain MacLeod. You could've had John Reid.

Another recent one. Keith Joseph, Patrick Jenkin, Stephen Dorrell.

So lots of pointless answers out there.

Let's take a look at unsuccessful party leaders.

All four of these Labour. George Barnes, George Lansbury -

Angela Lansbury's grandfather, Kier Hardie, the first leader of the

Labour Party. William Adamson as well. All of those pointless.

And people who have been prime minister and foreign secretary.

Arthur Balfour, the Duke of Wellington, George Canning.

You could have had Earl Grey. You could've had Lord John Russell,

Marquess of Salisbury, Ramsay MacDonald

would have been a pointless answer.

Palmerston would have been pointless answer. Earl of Liverpool as well.

All of those pointless. Well done if you got any of those at home

and unlucky in the studio. Tough in 60 seconds, isn't it?

Thanks very much. Unfortunately we have to say goodbye to you,

Roy and Clemency, but it's been great having you on the show.

-BOTH: Thank you.

-Thank you so much for playing. Roy and Clemency.

Well, sadly, Roy and Clemency didn't win our jackpot today,

so it rolls over onto the next show when we will be playing for £3,000.

Join us then, see if someone can win it. Meanwhile, it's goodbye from

-Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye for me. Goodbye.