Episode 38 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed. Hello. I'm Alexander Armstrong, and welcome to Pointless, the show

where the more obscure your knowledge, the better your chances of winning.

Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

-And couple number one.

-Hello.

I'm Maud, this is my friend Peter, and we're from Whitley Bay.

Couple number two.

Hi, I'm Ben, this is my girlfriend Sara, and we're from London.

Couple number three.

Hi, my name's Gilly, this is my friend Caz,

and we come from Shepperton, in Surrey.

And finally, couple number four.

My name is Michael, this is my friend Pete, and we're from Burnley, in Lancashire.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much. We'll find out more about you throughout the show as it

goes along, so that leaves one more person for me to introduce. He's as modest as he is athletic.

-It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-Hi.

APPLAUSE Hey, everybody.

-Good afternoon.

-Good afternoon.

We cannot go a single second further without

-talking about Michael's performance on the last show.

-We can't.

Because it was very unusual, a very unusual performance. A real mix.

Yes, it was.

Because Round One, which was US States, Michael gives us

the best possible answer on the whole board, literally a great answer.

-Yeah.

-So you think we're set fair.

And then the second round, essentially we asked him

which William, which William wrote the play Hamlet...

CHUCKLING

And he said William Tell.

LAUGHTER

That's an unusual performance.

Because we've seen answers like that before,

but not after someone has just given us the best answer on something else.

So literally, I have no idea how you are going to perform today.

-It's going to be fascinating.

-Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

As usual, all of today's questions have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants here are on the hunt for those all-important

pointless answers, that's the answers none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Now, Jake and Rhys didn't win the jackpot last time

so we add another £1,000, so today's jackpot starts off at a

respectable £3,250.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

Now, the pair with the highest score at the end of each

round will be eliminated. Just make sure that's not you.

Our first category today is...

Award-winning Music. Can you decide who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

-Best Contemporary Songs, Richard.

-On each board we are going to show you the names of seven songs.

They all happen to have won the Ivor Novello Award for Best Contemporary Song.

We'll tell you who released the songs, but we've left one

word out of the titles. We need you to give us that word, please.

There'll be seven on the first board, seven on the second, 14 in all to have a go at at home.

Very best of luck.

OK, so we are looking for the words that complete these songs.

Here's our first board of seven.

I'll read those all one last time.

-Maud.

-Hi.

-Welcome to Pointless. Lovely to have you here.

What do you do, Maud?

I am a student at the University of Manchester.

-I do maths and philosophy.

-And what year are you in?

-My second year.

-Are you loving it?

-Mostly, yeah.

It's hard, it's hard.

-It's hard work.

-Yeah.

-Very hard.

Maths and philosophy, the clue is in the title, Maud.

I love that you're called Maud, by the way, that's a great name.

Well, I got it for my birthday.

LAUGHTER

That's good. That's good.

It also took me nearly three seconds to work that out.

LAUGHTER

Now then, we are looking for words completing all these song titles.

-What do you think?

-I don't think I know any of them.

-I'm just going to have to take a guess.

-I fear you are, I'm so sorry.

-All Around The World.

-All Around The World, Lisa Stansfield.

All Around The World. It sounds reasonable enough, doesn't it?

Let's find out. Surely it's All Around The World.

If it is, let's see how many people said it.

It is All Around The World. Well done, Maud.

66.

APPLAUSE

Nothing wrong with 66. Excellent start to the show.

Yeah, number one in 1989 and won Best Contemporary Song in the 1990 awards.

-Thanks, Richard. Now, Sara, welcome.

-Hi.

-What do you do, Sara?

-I'm an event manager.

-What kind of events do you manage?

-Mainly corporate.

-Sort of evening events...

-Through the day.

-Conferences.

-How many a year do you do?

Oh, a lot. We do...up to five a day.

No! That's terrible. That's a pretty punishing routine, isn't it?

-It is, yes.

-Blimey.

What do you get up to, to take your mind off event managing?

-Although you love it, of course.

-I like to cook a lot.

-Good.

-Yeah.

-Anything else?

-I'm hoping contemporary music might come in at some stage.

-Yeah.

-Yeah?

-You're not feeling too bad about this board?

-I know a couple.

-Good.

Erm... I'm going to go for

-Manic Street Preachers, A Design For Life.

-Design For Life.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many people said Design For Life.

It's right.

-27.

-APPLAUSE

Good answer, Sara. 27 for Design For Life.

Yeah, the song won the award in 1996.

The Manics opened Cardiff Library. They were the official openers of it.

They've got a plaque which says, "Libraries gave us power," which is the first line of that song.

Thanks very much indeed.

-Now, Caz, welcome.

-Hello.

-Lovely to have you here.

What do you do, Caz?

I'm a sports massage therapist.

-Wow. I'm unpacking that. Sports...

-So not nice massages.

No, exactly. People get referred to you, pretty much.

Nobody goes there for fun.

-Not really, no.

-They limp in and then dance out, presumably.

-That's right.

-They pirouette out.

-Yeah. Good stuff.

There's that board.

What do you fancy on there?

There's two that I'm a bit more confident with,

-so I'll go with the one I'm more confident with.

-What's that?

Which is...

It's Alright (Baby's Coming Home.)

It's Alright (Baby's Coming Home.)

OK, let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said home for that.

-Oh!

-Oh, I'm sorry, Caz, I'm sorry.

I'm afraid an incorrect answer scores you 100 points.

Sorry, I'll give you the answer in a moment, just in case Pete wants to have a go at the same one.

-Now, Pete, welcome back.

-Thank you.

Listen, Pete, you didn't put a foot wrong last time.

-It was all looking great, wasn't it?

-It was.

-Ah!

Remind us what you do, Pete.

I'm a home-based cruise specialist, so I sell cruises from home.

That's right. Do you do those quite sort of...

erudite cruises, where

-people go off and they're lectured by people?

-Yes.

-You do those ones?

-Yeah, do all those.

-Fantastic. You should do one of those.

-Do you think?

-Yeah, yeah.

-What would I do?

-You could host a cruise.

-You'd be brilliant.

-That's a good idea. Let's do that.

We'll have a chat later, we'll go round the fjords.

I'd like that, go up to the Arctic Circle, or something.

-That would be quite fun. Let's do that.

-Go visit the avocets.

LAUGHTER

-Lovely idea.

-Do you know what, they'd take up all the deck space, wouldn't they?

-A bit lazy, avocets.

-Some of them aren't.

Some of them are on the ship working as cleaners and all sorts of things.

That's true. That's true.

So, Pete, yes, now. This board is all yours.

Talk us through it.

Well, I knew the two that had gone, the rest I'm not that sure.

I don't know the top one. I think Lana Del Rey might be Video Star.

Climie Fisher might be Love Changes Everything.

Not sure on the other one, if it's Baby's Coming Back,

instead of Baby's Coming Home. I think I know the Radiohead one.

I'm not 100% sure but I'm going to go for Karma Police.

OK, Karma Police, says Pete. Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said police.

It's right.

Well, 27's our low point, and you've passed that.

10. There we are. A new low watermark, Pete. Well done,

10 for Karma Police.

APPLAUSE

Well done, Pete. Won in 1997.

And he's right, Caz, it was Baby's Coming Back, the Eurythmics.

-Which is a part of the body.

-It is.

-It's a key...

If someone comes in with a problem with a sacroiliac, or something... Goodness me.

It would have scored you, if you had said Baby's Coming Back, 25 points.

So, would have been a perfectly good answer. Now, it's Grounds For...

-Divorce.

-Divorce, by Elbow. Would have scored 14.

Now this is a massive hit everywhere,

but our 100 didn't do very well on it. Video Games, Lana Del Rey.

Would have scored 8 points,

so it's the best answer on the board. And Love Changes Everything,

Climie Fisher.

Would have scored you 68, so that's the biggest scorer.

I think they were mixing it up with the other Love Changes Everything,

-gave it a bigger score than you might think.

-Thank you very much.

We're halfway through the round, let's take a look at those scores. 10, the best score.

Pete, very well done.

Then up to 27, where we find Sara and Ben.

66, Maud and Peter.

And then 100, Caz and Gilly.

Who knows what the next board is going to be like,

but a nice low score from you will help, I'm sure.

Best of luck. We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, we are going to put seven more songs up on the board.

and here they come.

We've got...

I'll read those all one last time.

Remember, we're looking for the blank word that completes the song title.

Michael, we are

going to put all talk of William Tell to one side for now.

Thank you.

So you are also involved in cruises as well.

I am, yes, from home as well.

-How many a year do you actually go on?

-Two last year.

-One to the Mediterranean and one to the fjords.

-The fjords.

When you were in the fjords, did lots of people in the evenings gather and go,

"I wish there were a couple of people talking to us, maybe?"

I don't know, one quite tall.

MICHAEL LAUGHS

-Was there an obvious gap in that market?

-I'm afraid not, no.

We could do, "Would anyone like to hear a lecture on what it's like to

"work with Ben Miller?"

LAUGHTER

-Because that's...

-Yeah.

-That's one you could do.

-You could do what it's like to work with me.

-I could do that.

I could do, "What's it like when all doorways are slightly too short for you?" I could do that.

-LAUGHTER

-On a ship, that's going to be an

acute problem, isn't it?

I would have thought... But, yeah, it's a fairly acute problem anyway, if I'm honest.

-Yeah.

-At least everyone is bending over on a ship.

LAUGHTER

Cos...

LAUGHTER

They're low, they've got low ceilings on ships.

I hear what you're saying. So, Michael. Listen, there you are.

You're on 10. 10.

Pete has as good as carried you through to the next round.

Before you've even given an answer. 89 or less sees you through.

-What do you make of this board?

-I know quite a few on there.

I'm going to play safe and go Two Tribes, Frankie Goes To Hollywood.

Tribes, says Michael, for Frankie Goes To Hollywood.

Let's see if it's right and how many people said it. There's your red line. Nice and high.

Very well done, you're through.

-Quite high.

-59.

Takes your total up to 69.

APPLAUSE

One of the top 30 selling singles in UK history,

Two Tribes by Frankie Goes To Hollywood. How about that?

How about that? Thanks, Richard.

Now, Gilly. Now, now.

What we need from you is a very low score. Gilly, welcome.

-What do you do?

-I'm a registrar.

-How long have you done it for?

-I've only been doing that for two years.

Fun, though.

Yes, loving it, love it, love my weddings, really love my weddings.

Presumably, you're not allowed to be at all emotional.

You have to be very much above it all.

You are supposed to be,

-but I'm afraid I have given in a couple of times.

-Aw.

-One goes with the flow.

-Absolutely right. Very nice.

-OK, you are the highest scorers.

-I know, I know.

What we need from you here, a low score.

How do you like this board?

There's a couple of quite obvious ones.

I think I'm going to go 7 Days, Craig David.

7 Days, Craig David. Let's see if that is right.

No red line for you, I'm afraid, as you are the high scorers, but how many people said 7 Days?

33.

APPLAUSE

133 is your total.

He was an answer on the last show, wasn't he?

He was a question on the last show, in fact. Craig David singles.

-That was a big scorer though, 7 Days.

-Thank you very much, Richard.

-Now. Ben, great news.

-Hi.

Whatever happens, whatever happens between now and the end of the round, you are in Round Two.

-Right, that's excellent.

-Yeah. You are going straight through.

Ben, what do you do?

I have just finished a job doing policy work for a charity,

and I'm starting, in two days' time,

with a PR firm, so I've got two days off.

-Two days off, so you come here.

-They were so excited.

-Oh! Well, thank you, we are very excited, actually, as well.

-I'm all right.

To come and fill those two days with us.

Good luck with it. I hope it goes well.

-Bit of a change of direction.

-Yeah. It's the same sort of work.

-It's research based.

-Excellent. I hope it goes well.

Listen, you are through, as I say,

but a lovely low score from you at this point would just impress us.

All right, OK. Well, I'll do my best.

Des'ree, she's brilliant.

So I think I'm going to have to go for You Gotta Be.

You Gotta Be, says Ben. You Gotta Be.

No red line, because you're already through. Let's see how may people said be, for Des'ree.

Absolutely right.

Wow, look at that, four!

That is a great answer. 31 is your total.

The lowest of the whole round by a long way.

Well played, Ben. Won that award in 1994 and in 1995.

She went on tour in the States with Seal

and that song was released over there at the same time.

It stayed in the chart for 19 months.

-That's a big hit.

-Oh yes, you've got to be pleased with that.

Yes, thank you.

I was going to do a joke about teachers. How did I do in my exam?

You got a B. I can't really think of how to do it.

What did... Oh, here's a joke!

What did Des'ree's maths teacher tell her

when she asked how she'd done in her GCSE?

-I don't know.

-He said, you got a B!

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much, thank you, thank you.

-That's good!

-I appreciate that.

It's one of those things. Sometimes, spontaneously, stuff comes to me.

Thanks. Now Peter, welcome. Lovely to have you here.

-What do you do, Peter?

I just left university recently

-so I'm sort of in the murky bit.

-What was your degree?

-English literature.

-Open ended, it could go anywhere.

-I might even go back and do something different.

-Really?

-What would you say were your fortes?

-Fortes?

-I'm a big fan of American sports. Geography.

-OK.

I'm trying to think of a job that would involve all of those.

-Quarterback at the Minnesota Vikings.

-There you go.

Some travel involved in that, certainly.

-They are lacking in that position.

-Yeah.

OK, now Peter, you're on 66.

The high scorers are Gilly and Caz on 133.

Actually, you have to score 66 or less, the score but Maud scored.

The score that Maud scored!

There's only two there that I know.

Franz Ferdinand's Take Me Out

and Travis, Why Does It Always Rain On Me?

I'm going to go with Take Me Out by Franz Ferdinand.

Take Me Out, says Peter. There is your red line.

If you get below that with Take Me Out,

you're through to the next round.

It's right, and you're through.

Oh, very, very well done indeed. Look at that, 14.

They all applaud while you scored what Maud scored on the board!

I think people missed that through the applause.

No, I think that's probably as it should be.

I thought it was very good.

You were right as well about Why Does It Always Rain On Me.

-Were you tempted to go for that?

-No.

-It would have knocked you out.

It's a huge scorer, it would have scored you 75 points.

How about that?

The top one, You Win Again. That would have scored 62.

-Do you know the Ash one?

-Shining Light.

Yes, that would have scored 14 points.

There we are, thanks very much indeed.

At the end of our first round,

the pair heading home with a high score of 133 is Gilly and Caz.

I'm sorry. It was that Eurythmics one. Baby's Coming Home.

That would be nicer than Baby's Coming Back, wouldn't it?

-Baby's Coming Home, that's nice.

-It needs to be rewritten.

Well, they should get on to that immediately.

In the meantime, it's been lovely having you on.

We look forward to seeing you again, Gilly and Caz.

-Thanks very much for playing.

-Thank you.

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for round two.

So, three pairs remain. At the end of this round,

we'll have to say goodbye to another pair.

Well, Pete and Michael, you've survived for now.

Two Tribes was quite a high score over there.

Ben and Sara, well done.

You got a B!

In fact, you got an A, A starred is what you got,

but that was a great answer.

You were our low scorers jointly as well.

Peter and Maud, very good, good solid play there. Very well done.

Keep that up and you should be in the head-to-head,

but best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for round two today is golf.

Can you all decide in your pairs who is going to go first,

who is going to go second

and whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many top 100 golfers

at the beginning of 2014 as they could.

The top 100 golfers at the beginning of 2014. Richard?

We're looking for the name of any golfer

ranked in the world's top 100 at the end of the week ending

5 January 2014, so any male golfer in the world's top 100.

There are over 70 pointless answers on this list,

so plenty of room to get some pointless answers. Good luck.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Maud, are you happy with this?

No, I'm going to have to say Tiger Woods.

Tiger Woods, says Maud. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Tiger Woods.

It's right. Still going down.

63, not bad at all. That's fine.

A lot better than 100.

14 major titles for Tiger Woods,

including being the first man to hold all four at the same time.

Thank you very much indeed. Ben.

I'm going to have to go for somebody who I hope is still playing.

Vijay Singh.

Vijay Singh, says Ben, let's see if that's right

and let's see how many people said Vijay Singh.

Oh, Ben! Oh, I'm afraid there's your answer.

I'm afraid not a correct answer. That scores you 100 points, sorry.

He was in that world top 100 for many, many years

but hasn't been for a little while, I'm afraid.

Thanks, Richard, now, Pete,

-how do you feel about golf?

-That's not the worst subject for me.

Good, hurray! What are you going to go for?

I think I'm going to go for Justin Rose.

Justin Rose, says Pete. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It is, of course, right.

Well, 63 is our low score so far, but you've passed that,

-very comfortably. Look at that. Justin Rose down to 14.

-APPLAUSE

Well done on the far podium, there.

Yeah, he was ranked number four at the beginning of 2014.

First Englishman in 43 years to win the US Open.

Thanks, Rich. We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores. 14, the best score of that pass.

Pete, well done. You and Michael looking supreme at this point.

Then, up to 63, where we find Maud and Peter. Then, up to 100.

Ben, I'm sorry. That was a brave try.

Sara, luckily, your golf knowledge, I know, will get you through.

So, good luck with that.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK. So, Michael, we are looking for any man who's

featured in the world's top 100

golfers at the start of 2014.

I know quite a few golfers, but I'm going to play it safe. Lee Westwood.

Lee Westwood, says Michael. There's your red line.

If you get below that, you're through to the next round.

Let's see how many people said Lee Westwood.

Look at that. Through you go, into the head-to-head.

It's another good answer. Nine!

-Best score of the round so far, Michael! Well done!

-APPLAUSE

23 is your total.

Former world number one, Lee Westwood.

There's such an opportunity to add money to the jackpot,

if you know your golfers on this round.

-But you've got to get yourself through.

-Thanks very much. Now, Sara.

Am I right in guessing this isn't your favourite round?

-It's not my favourite, no. I have no idea.

-OK.

-No idea, as in making up names, no idea?

-Yes.

I think my favourite moments in Pointless are those that

flow from this.

I could go for a standard name that may or may not be a person.

Go for an un-standard name.

We'll go for Veron Chuttlebutte.

LAUGHTER

-Veron Chuttlebutte.

-Yes.

LAUGHTER

The question being, is Veron still playing? Well, let's find out.

Veron Chuttlebutte.

No red line for you, as you're the high scorers,

but let's see how many people went with Veron.

I'm afraid, an incorrect answer, but by far the most enjoyable

incorrect answer we've had for a long time.

-Yes, bad luck.

-I'm afraid it's Veron SHUDDLEBUTTE. I couldn't accept it.

World number 19.

-Now, Peter.

-Yeah.

-I have enormously good news for you.

-You are through to the head-to-head, whatever happens.

-That's good. Um...

This isn't the best subject... I've got a couple of names.

I'll say Padraig Harrington.

Padraig Harrington. Let's see if that's right.

No red line for you, you're already through, but let's see if Padraig

Harrington's right and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

Ooh!

I'm afraid an incorrect answer.

Scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 163,

but you're already through anyhow.

Padraig Harrington's one of those guys who was world top ten,

won Majors, all sorts of things, has had an absolute terminal decline.

I suspect he'll be back in the top 100 at some point,

but he's not there at the moment.

Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers.

There's all sorts of pointless answers.

I think, unfortunately, a tough round for the people here,

but for people at home, well done if you said any of these:

There's lots of other names on the list.

David Lynn, Dustin Johnson, Charl Schwartzel, Jason Duffner,

all sorts of names up there. Very well done if you said any of those.

Peter Hanson, the Swede, is up there as well.

Let's take a look at the biggest scorers. Heard two of them already.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of our second round, the pair heading home

with their high score of 200, it's Sara and Ben.

Well, you'll be back next time, when I imagine there'll be no golf.

There'll be plenty of things that are perfectly Sara

and Ben compatible. And I hope we'll see you go much further.

It's been a pleasure having you on thus far.

-Sara and Ben, thanks so much.

-APPLAUSE

But for Pete and Michael, Peter and Maud,

it's now time for the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Congratulations, Pete and Michael, Peter and Maud,

you are now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot, which current stands at:

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

So, here is where we decide who goes through to the final

and plays for that jackpot and we do that by making you go head-to-head.

You're now allowed to play as a team for the first time

and you can confer.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

I think this is going to be a very exciting head-to-head.

-Best of luck to both pairs and let's play it.

-APPLAUSE

Here comes your first question and it concerns:

Newspaper columnists.

We're going to show you five pictures of people who write regular

columns in UK newspapers.

Can you identify the most obscure of these?

Thanks. OK, let's reveal our five columnists and here they are.

OK, there we are. Five columnists. Pete and Michael.

Struggling on this one, but we think B is Peter Hitchens.

OK, straight in there. Straight in there. B, Peter Hitchens,

say Pete and Michael.

Now, Peter and Maud, do you want to talk us

through the rest of the board?

We only know C and D, Victoria Coren and...

Liz Jones and I am absolutely kicking myself because I do

know who A is, but her name has completely vanished from my head.

So, I think we're going to go for C and say Liz Jones.

C, Liz Jones. So we have Peter Hitchens, we have Liz Jones.

Now, Pete and Michael went for Peter Hitchens for B. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many people said Peter Hitchens.

It's right.

-Eight.

-APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Very well done. Good answer. Well chosen.

Peter and Maud, meanwhile have said that C is Liz Jones.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many people said Liz Jones.

It's right.

Oh, close! Very close. 16 for Liz Jones.

But Pete and Michael, you win it with Peter Hitchens.

After one question, you're up 1-nil.

Actually, A would have won you the point.

Writer of the brilliant How To Be A Woman, it's Caitlin Moran.

She would have scored you seven points.

Well done if you said that at home.

Great book as well, if you don't have it.

D is Victoria Coren Mitchell.

She would have scored 32, she's the biggest scorer up there.

-And the lowest scorer is E. Do you know him?

-Excellent. Hugo Rifkind.

Hugo Rifkind, he would have scored you two points.

Thank you very much, Richard. Here comes your second question.

Peter and Maud, you get to answer it first, but you have to win it to stay in the game.

Best of luck. It concerns:

-Norway.

-Yeah, we're going to give you five clues now to facts about Norway.

Can you give us the best answer up there? Good luck.

OK, let's reveal our five clues and here they come. We have got:

I'll read those all one last time.

Peter and Maud, help yourselves.

-I'm not sure about the currency.

-What do you want to do?

The land border?

Yeah. OK, um...

We're going to go with the land border one and that's Finland.

Finland, say Peter and Maud. Finland.

Now, Pete and Michael, talk us through what you can on that board.

The currency's the krone, with a K.

The capital city's Oslo. We're not so sure of the others.

-Go for the currency.

-We'll go for the currency, Krone.

-Norwegian krone.

-Krone, say Pete and Michael, for the currency.

OK, so, Peter and Maud said Finland was the other country sharing

an eastern land border. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many people said Finland.

It's right.

-40.

-APPLAUSE

40 for Finland.

Pete and Michael have said the krone is the unit of currency.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it.

It's right. It has to beat 40, though.

And it doesn't, I'm afraid. 54, which means

well done, Peter and Maud. Back in the game you come.

After two questions, it's one all.

Let's fill in the rest of this board. You're right about the capital city,

it's Oslo. A bigger scorer, though - it would have scored you 76 points.

And the Conservative party leader...

is Erna Solberg.

The second female Prime Minister in Norway. Two points for her.

And the king who ascended to the throne was King Harald the fifth.

That would have scored you seven points.

So, Erna Solberg, "Iron Erna", they call her,

was the best answer there.

Thanks very much indeed. OK, here comes your third and final question.

This will decide who goes through to the final and plays for that

jackpot. Best of luck to both pairs. It concerns...

Astronomical terms, Richard.

We're about to show you five terms now used in astronomy,

but we've removed alternate letters. Can you fill in those gaps?

-Best of luck, both teams.

-Thanks very much indeed.

Let's reveal our five astronomical terms and here they come.

We've got...

I'll read those all one final time.

There we are. Five astronomical terms.

Pete and Michael, you will go first.

THEY CONFER

The fourth one's the best one.

Right, we're going to go for the fourth one down,

which is meteorite.

Meteorite, say Pete and Michael. Meteorite.

Now, Peter and Maud, talk us through the board.

Fill in as many blanks as you can.

The middle one is annoying me.

The bottom one is supernova,

and there is eclipse, there is

something galaxy, I don't know...

Oh, spiral. Spiral galaxy.

-Do you want to go for that?

-Yeah. OK.

We're going to go for spiral galaxy.

OK, spiral galaxy, say Peter and Maud.

So, we have meteorite and we have spiral galaxy.

Pete and Michael said meteorite.

Let's see if that's right and let's see how many people said meteorite..

It's right.

Wow. Low score. Look at that, ten for meteorite!

APPLAUSE

Peter and Maud, meanwhile, have gone for spiral galaxy.

Let's see if that's right and if it is,

let's see how many people said it. Spiral galaxy.

It's right.

Now, meteorite scored ten. Spiral galaxy,

oh, scores 11!

APPLAUSE

Unlucky, guys.

Really unlucky. Really unlucky, that.

Well done, Pete and Michael.

After three questions, you're through to the final, 2-1.

-Slight surprise result, there.

-Do you think?

-Well, I suppose galaxy is...

-And there's two words missing.

It's unusual, these, when things are missed out,

because it's not just how common the word is,

it's how difficult it is to spot.

-Yeah.

-Because, for example, I think you knew supernova,

and that would have scored six points.

That would have seen you into the final.

Eclipse would have been too many points.

That would have scored you 40.

And there's a word for the boundary between the light side

and the dark side of a planet or other body,

and it's a terminator, and it's a pointless answer.

Well, thanks very much. At the end of our head-to-head,

the pair we're saying goodbye to is Peter and Maud.

Well, you did very well there. Three great answers.

Don't be too downcast, though, because you'll be back next time

and we will look forward to seeing you, then.

I'm sure you will do even better,

but thanks very much for playing so well today. Peter and Maud!

APPLAUSE

But, for Pete and Michael, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Pete and Michael. You've seen off all the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have the chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

and, at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £3,250.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Well, who would have thought this was going to be the outcome?

Who would have thought? You have done very well, you really have.

What's the sort of thing you'd like to see come up?

You know what they're like, these final rounds. They're sometimes tricky,

the categories we put up on the board. What would you like to see appear up there?

-I would dream of football or geography.

-Football or geography.

-Or maybe both. Sometimes the two combine.

-Maybe both, yeah.

As always, you get to choose your category. They're about to appear on

this board behind me. Let's see what we've got for you today.

Up there, we have world footballers.

That's kind of geography and football, isn't it?

-Well...Lulu!

-Yeah, it's a tricky one, really.

Yeah, I think we'll go for world footballers, please.

-World footballers, it is. Richard.

-OK, best of luck, guys.

In December 2013, the Guardian newspaper published

a list of the 100 best footballers in the world, 2013.

We are looking for anybody on that list who has represented Brazil,

internationally, anyone who has represented Italy,

internationally, or anybody who has represented Spain, internationally.

So, any Brazilian, Italian or Spanish international on the list

of the 100 best footballers in the world, 2013.

Very best of luck. Nice category.

OK. As always, you've got up to one

minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that jackpot is for just one of those answers

-to be pointless. Are you ready?

-Yes.

-Yes.

OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock. There they are.

Your time starts now.

-OK.

-Brazil.

-Right, let's go through Brazil.

-David Luiz.

-So, we'll take the obvious.

-Who's that?

-David Luiz.

-Do you think he's in the top 100?

-Yeah. I would have said so.

-Right.

-Liverpool mid-fielder.

-Lucas Leiva?

-Yeah. OK.

-Italy.

-Pirlo.

-Who's the striker?

Uh...

-I don't think...I'm not so sure.

-Right.

-I would have said Pirlo...

-Pirlo.

-...was one of them.

I think they're going to come from Spain, to be honest with you.

-What about Juan Mata?

-Juan Mata.

-Yeah.

-Iniesta.

-Do you think...might be in there?

I think he could be, yeah.

What about Valdes?

-Victor Valdes, that's a good...

-Do you want to go Victor Valdes?

-I think so.

-Yeah. Victor Valdes.

-Second choice, obviously.

Yeah, but it's the top 100 footballers in the world.

What about Iniesta?

Ten seconds left.

Let's go with Valdes...Lucas Leiva...

-Lucas Leiva, yeah.

-..and...

-Juan Mata?

-Pirlo.

-Andrea Pirlo.

OK, that's your time up. I now need your three answers.

What are they going to be?

OK, so, for a Brazilian, we're going to go for Lucas Leiva.

-Lucas Leiva.

-Italian, we're going to go for Andrea Pirlo.

-Andrea Pirlo.

-And for Spanish, we're going to go for Victor Valdes.

-Victor Valdes.

Now, of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Valdes.

-Valdes goes last. Which is your least likely?

-Andrea Pirlo.

OK, lets put those answers up on the board in that order,

and here they are. We have...

Well, very, very best of luck.

Your first answer, you said Andrea Pirlo.

You thought this was probably your least likely to be pointless.

Remember, only one of them has to be pointless for you to win that

jackpot. It's turning into quite a decent jackpot now, 3,250 quid.

What would you do with that, Pete, if you won it?

I think I'd probably go on holiday, quite predictably.

I think I'd go to Vegas.

It's somewhere I've always wanted to go and I've just never got to.

-OK, Michael?

-I think I'd do a cruise around the Caribbean.

Never been to the Caribbean, but a nice cruise round the Caribbean.

Excellent. Andrea Pirlo is your first answer. Let's find out.

Obviously, it has to be right, then it has to be pointless for you

to win the jackpot.

For £3,250, how many people said Andrea Pirlo?

Well, it's right. That was the first thing it had to be.

Now, if this goes all the way down to 0, you leave here with £3,250.

Andrea Pirlo, now going down into the teens. Down into...

Not quite single figures. 11.

-APPLAUSE

-OK, fair enough.

You were just finding your range there, weren't you?

That wasn't a serious pointless answer, was it?

-That was just filling a place.

-Yeah.

-Yes.

Your second answer was Lucas Leiva.

Again, this has to be pointless for you to win the jackpot.

Let's find out, for £3,250, how many people said Lucas Leiva.

Is it pointless?

Oh...

I'm afraid it's not pointless. I'm afraid it's not correct.

You only have one more chance to win today's jackpot.

Everything is now riding on your third and final answer,

which was Victor Valdes.

It have to be right, first, then it has to be pointless.

If it is both of those things, you will walk away with £3,250.

Let's find out if Victor Valdes is pointless.

Well, your first answer, Andrea Pirlo,

took us down to 11.

Your second answer, Lucas Leiva, took us nowhere, I'm afraid,

but your last answer is taking us down through single figures,

down it goes, still going, you got it!

-APPLAUSE

-Very well done indeed!

Fantastic! That's brilliant. Very well done.

Congratulations.

Get in!

Wow!

Many, many congratulations, Pete and Michael.

Victor Valdes was a pointless answer, which means you go home

-with our jackpot of £3,250. Very well done.

-Fantastic.

Talk about the perfect category coming up. That's great for you.

It could have been Shakespeare, for goodness' sake!

Then we would have been in trouble.

-Pete, I think you are the Liverpool fan, aren't you?

-I am.

And Lucas, not in the world's top 100 players. Won't be a big shock to you.

But let's take a look at some people who were,

and who were pointless answers.

Brazilians, Dante, the Bayern Munich defender was a pointless answer.

Diego Costa, who now actually plays for Spain.

Marcello, Marquinhos, also a pointless answer.

Also could have had Thiago Silva, there.

Marquinhos plays for PSG, as does Marco Verratti,

also a pointless answer.

And the Lazio goalie, Federico Marchetti.

Let's take a look at the Spanish players.

Isco, the Real Madrid midfielder was there.

Michu of Swansea.

Santi Cazorla of Arsenal and Victor Valdes, the Barcelona goalkeeper.

Very well done, if you got some of those at home. I know football fans

will have aced that, and it came along at a very nice time.

-Two very nice guys, so I'm very pleased for you.

-Thank you.

Thanks very much, Richard. Well, thanks, once again, to our winning

players, Pete and Michael, who go away with today's jackpot of £3,250.

APPLAUSE

Join us next time when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to

the test on Pointless. Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

-..and it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE