Episode 38 Pointless


Episode 38

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Transcript


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APPLAUSE

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Thank you very much indeed. Hello. I'm Alexander Armstrong, and welcome to Pointless, the show

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where the more obscure your knowledge, the better your chances of winning.

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Let's meet today's players.

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APPLAUSE

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-And couple number one.

-Hello.

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I'm Maud, this is my friend Peter, and we're from Whitley Bay.

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Couple number two.

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Hi, I'm Ben, this is my girlfriend Sara, and we're from London.

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Couple number three.

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Hi, my name's Gilly, this is my friend Caz,

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and we come from Shepperton, in Surrey.

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And finally, couple number four.

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My name is Michael, this is my friend Pete, and we're from Burnley, in Lancashire.

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And these are today's contestants.

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APPLAUSE

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Thanks very much. We'll find out more about you throughout the show as it

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goes along, so that leaves one more person for me to introduce. He's as modest as he is athletic.

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-It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-Hi.

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APPLAUSE Hey, everybody.

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-Good afternoon.

-Good afternoon.

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We cannot go a single second further without

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-talking about Michael's performance on the last show.

-We can't.

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Because it was very unusual, a very unusual performance. A real mix.

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Yes, it was.

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Because Round One, which was US States, Michael gives us

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the best possible answer on the whole board, literally a great answer.

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-Yeah.

-So you think we're set fair.

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And then the second round, essentially we asked him

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which William, which William wrote the play Hamlet...

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CHUCKLING

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And he said William Tell.

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LAUGHTER

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That's an unusual performance.

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Because we've seen answers like that before,

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but not after someone has just given us the best answer on something else.

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So literally, I have no idea how you are going to perform today.

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-It's going to be fascinating.

-Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

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As usual, all of today's questions have been put to 100 people before the show.

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Our contestants here are on the hunt for those all-important

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pointless answers, that's the answers none of our 100 people gave.

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Each time that happens we will add £250 to the jackpot.

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Now, Jake and Rhys didn't win the jackpot last time

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so we add another £1,000, so today's jackpot starts off at a

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respectable £3,250.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

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APPLAUSE

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Now, the pair with the highest score at the end of each

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round will be eliminated. Just make sure that's not you.

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Our first category today is...

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Award-winning Music. Can you decide who's going to go first,

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who's going to go second?

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And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

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OK, and the question concerns...

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-Best Contemporary Songs, Richard.

-On each board we are going to show you the names of seven songs.

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They all happen to have won the Ivor Novello Award for Best Contemporary Song.

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We'll tell you who released the songs, but we've left one

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word out of the titles. We need you to give us that word, please.

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There'll be seven on the first board, seven on the second, 14 in all to have a go at at home.

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Very best of luck.

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OK, so we are looking for the words that complete these songs.

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Here's our first board of seven.

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I'll read those all one last time.

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-Maud.

-Hi.

-Welcome to Pointless. Lovely to have you here.

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What do you do, Maud?

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I am a student at the University of Manchester.

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-I do maths and philosophy.

-And what year are you in?

-My second year.

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-Are you loving it?

-Mostly, yeah.

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It's hard, it's hard.

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-It's hard work.

-Yeah.

-Very hard.

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Maths and philosophy, the clue is in the title, Maud.

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I love that you're called Maud, by the way, that's a great name.

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Well, I got it for my birthday.

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LAUGHTER

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That's good. That's good.

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It also took me nearly three seconds to work that out.

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LAUGHTER

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Now then, we are looking for words completing all these song titles.

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-What do you think?

-I don't think I know any of them.

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-I'm just going to have to take a guess.

-I fear you are, I'm so sorry.

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-All Around The World.

-All Around The World, Lisa Stansfield.

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All Around The World. It sounds reasonable enough, doesn't it?

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Let's find out. Surely it's All Around The World.

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If it is, let's see how many people said it.

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It is All Around The World. Well done, Maud.

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66.

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APPLAUSE

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Nothing wrong with 66. Excellent start to the show.

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Yeah, number one in 1989 and won Best Contemporary Song in the 1990 awards.

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-Thanks, Richard. Now, Sara, welcome.

-Hi.

-What do you do, Sara?

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-I'm an event manager.

-What kind of events do you manage?

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-Mainly corporate.

-Sort of evening events...

-Through the day.

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-Conferences.

-How many a year do you do?

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Oh, a lot. We do...up to five a day.

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No! That's terrible. That's a pretty punishing routine, isn't it?

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-It is, yes.

-Blimey.

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What do you get up to, to take your mind off event managing?

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-Although you love it, of course.

-I like to cook a lot.

-Good.

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-Yeah.

-Anything else?

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-I'm hoping contemporary music might come in at some stage.

-Yeah.

-Yeah?

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-You're not feeling too bad about this board?

-I know a couple.

-Good.

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Erm... I'm going to go for

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-Manic Street Preachers, A Design For Life.

-Design For Life.

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Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many people said Design For Life.

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It's right.

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-27.

-APPLAUSE

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Good answer, Sara. 27 for Design For Life.

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Yeah, the song won the award in 1996.

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The Manics opened Cardiff Library. They were the official openers of it.

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They've got a plaque which says, "Libraries gave us power," which is the first line of that song.

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Thanks very much indeed.

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-Now, Caz, welcome.

-Hello.

-Lovely to have you here.

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What do you do, Caz?

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I'm a sports massage therapist.

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-Wow. I'm unpacking that. Sports...

-So not nice massages.

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No, exactly. People get referred to you, pretty much.

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Nobody goes there for fun.

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-Not really, no.

-They limp in and then dance out, presumably.

-That's right.

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-They pirouette out.

-Yeah. Good stuff.

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There's that board.

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What do you fancy on there?

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There's two that I'm a bit more confident with,

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-so I'll go with the one I'm more confident with.

-What's that?

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Which is...

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It's Alright (Baby's Coming Home.)

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It's Alright (Baby's Coming Home.)

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OK, let's see if that's right.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said home for that.

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-Oh!

-Oh, I'm sorry, Caz, I'm sorry.

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I'm afraid an incorrect answer scores you 100 points.

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Sorry, I'll give you the answer in a moment, just in case Pete wants to have a go at the same one.

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-Now, Pete, welcome back.

-Thank you.

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Listen, Pete, you didn't put a foot wrong last time.

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-It was all looking great, wasn't it?

-It was.

-Ah!

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Remind us what you do, Pete.

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I'm a home-based cruise specialist, so I sell cruises from home.

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That's right. Do you do those quite sort of...

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erudite cruises, where

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-people go off and they're lectured by people?

-Yes.

-You do those ones?

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-Yeah, do all those.

-Fantastic. You should do one of those.

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-Do you think?

-Yeah, yeah.

-What would I do?

-You could host a cruise.

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-You'd be brilliant.

-That's a good idea. Let's do that.

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We'll have a chat later, we'll go round the fjords.

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I'd like that, go up to the Arctic Circle, or something.

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-That would be quite fun. Let's do that.

-Go visit the avocets.

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LAUGHTER

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-Lovely idea.

-Do you know what, they'd take up all the deck space, wouldn't they?

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-A bit lazy, avocets.

-Some of them aren't.

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Some of them are on the ship working as cleaners and all sorts of things.

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That's true. That's true.

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So, Pete, yes, now. This board is all yours.

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Talk us through it.

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Well, I knew the two that had gone, the rest I'm not that sure.

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I don't know the top one. I think Lana Del Rey might be Video Star.

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Climie Fisher might be Love Changes Everything.

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Not sure on the other one, if it's Baby's Coming Back,

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instead of Baby's Coming Home. I think I know the Radiohead one.

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I'm not 100% sure but I'm going to go for Karma Police.

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OK, Karma Police, says Pete. Let's see if that's right,

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let's see how many of our 100 people said police.

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It's right.

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Well, 27's our low point, and you've passed that.

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10. There we are. A new low watermark, Pete. Well done,

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10 for Karma Police.

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APPLAUSE

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Well done, Pete. Won in 1997.

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And he's right, Caz, it was Baby's Coming Back, the Eurythmics.

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-Which is a part of the body.

-It is.

-It's a key...

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If someone comes in with a problem with a sacroiliac, or something... Goodness me.

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It would have scored you, if you had said Baby's Coming Back, 25 points.

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So, would have been a perfectly good answer. Now, it's Grounds For...

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-Divorce.

-Divorce, by Elbow. Would have scored 14.

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Now this is a massive hit everywhere,

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but our 100 didn't do very well on it. Video Games, Lana Del Rey.

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Would have scored 8 points,

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so it's the best answer on the board. And Love Changes Everything,

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Climie Fisher.

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Would have scored you 68, so that's the biggest scorer.

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I think they were mixing it up with the other Love Changes Everything,

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-gave it a bigger score than you might think.

-Thank you very much.

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We're halfway through the round, let's take a look at those scores. 10, the best score.

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Pete, very well done.

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Then up to 27, where we find Sara and Ben.

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66, Maud and Peter.

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And then 100, Caz and Gilly.

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Who knows what the next board is going to be like,

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but a nice low score from you will help, I'm sure.

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Best of luck. We're going to come back down the line.

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Can the second players please step up to the podium?

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OK, we are going to put seven more songs up on the board.

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and here they come.

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We've got...

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I'll read those all one last time.

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Remember, we're looking for the blank word that completes the song title.

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Michael, we are

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going to put all talk of William Tell to one side for now.

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Thank you.

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So you are also involved in cruises as well.

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I am, yes, from home as well.

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-How many a year do you actually go on?

-Two last year.

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-One to the Mediterranean and one to the fjords.

-The fjords.

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When you were in the fjords, did lots of people in the evenings gather and go,

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"I wish there were a couple of people talking to us, maybe?"

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I don't know, one quite tall.

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MICHAEL LAUGHS

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-Was there an obvious gap in that market?

-I'm afraid not, no.

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We could do, "Would anyone like to hear a lecture on what it's like to

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"work with Ben Miller?"

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LAUGHTER

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-Because that's...

-Yeah.

-That's one you could do.

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-You could do what it's like to work with me.

-I could do that.

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I could do, "What's it like when all doorways are slightly too short for you?" I could do that.

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-LAUGHTER

-On a ship, that's going to be an

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acute problem, isn't it?

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I would have thought... But, yeah, it's a fairly acute problem anyway, if I'm honest.

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-Yeah.

-At least everyone is bending over on a ship.

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LAUGHTER

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Cos...

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LAUGHTER

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They're low, they've got low ceilings on ships.

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I hear what you're saying. So, Michael. Listen, there you are.

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You're on 10. 10.

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Pete has as good as carried you through to the next round.

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Before you've even given an answer. 89 or less sees you through.

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-What do you make of this board?

-I know quite a few on there.

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I'm going to play safe and go Two Tribes, Frankie Goes To Hollywood.

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Tribes, says Michael, for Frankie Goes To Hollywood.

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Let's see if it's right and how many people said it. There's your red line. Nice and high.

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Very well done, you're through.

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-Quite high.

-59.

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Takes your total up to 69.

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APPLAUSE

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One of the top 30 selling singles in UK history,

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Two Tribes by Frankie Goes To Hollywood. How about that?

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How about that? Thanks, Richard.

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Now, Gilly. Now, now.

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What we need from you is a very low score. Gilly, welcome.

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-What do you do?

-I'm a registrar.

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-How long have you done it for?

-I've only been doing that for two years.

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Fun, though.

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Yes, loving it, love it, love my weddings, really love my weddings.

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Presumably, you're not allowed to be at all emotional.

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You have to be very much above it all.

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You are supposed to be,

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-but I'm afraid I have given in a couple of times.

-Aw.

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-One goes with the flow.

-Absolutely right. Very nice.

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-OK, you are the highest scorers.

-I know, I know.

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What we need from you here, a low score.

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How do you like this board?

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There's a couple of quite obvious ones.

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I think I'm going to go 7 Days, Craig David.

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7 Days, Craig David. Let's see if that is right.

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No red line for you, I'm afraid, as you are the high scorers, but how many people said 7 Days?

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33.

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APPLAUSE

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133 is your total.

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He was an answer on the last show, wasn't he?

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He was a question on the last show, in fact. Craig David singles.

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-That was a big scorer though, 7 Days.

-Thank you very much, Richard.

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-Now. Ben, great news.

-Hi.

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Whatever happens, whatever happens between now and the end of the round, you are in Round Two.

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-Right, that's excellent.

-Yeah. You are going straight through.

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Ben, what do you do?

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I have just finished a job doing policy work for a charity,

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and I'm starting, in two days' time,

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with a PR firm, so I've got two days off.

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-Two days off, so you come here.

-They were so excited.

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-Oh! Well, thank you, we are very excited, actually, as well.

-I'm all right.

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To come and fill those two days with us.

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Good luck with it. I hope it goes well.

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-Bit of a change of direction.

-Yeah. It's the same sort of work.

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-It's research based.

-Excellent. I hope it goes well.

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Listen, you are through, as I say,

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but a lovely low score from you at this point would just impress us.

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All right, OK. Well, I'll do my best.

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Des'ree, she's brilliant.

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So I think I'm going to have to go for You Gotta Be.

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You Gotta Be, says Ben. You Gotta Be.

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No red line, because you're already through. Let's see how may people said be, for Des'ree.

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Absolutely right.

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Wow, look at that, four!

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That is a great answer. 31 is your total.

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The lowest of the whole round by a long way.

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Well played, Ben. Won that award in 1994 and in 1995.

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She went on tour in the States with Seal

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and that song was released over there at the same time.

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It stayed in the chart for 19 months.

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-That's a big hit.

-Oh yes, you've got to be pleased with that.

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Yes, thank you.

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I was going to do a joke about teachers. How did I do in my exam?

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You got a B. I can't really think of how to do it.

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What did... Oh, here's a joke!

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What did Des'ree's maths teacher tell her

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when she asked how she'd done in her GCSE?

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-I don't know.

-He said, you got a B!

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APPLAUSE

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Thank you very much, thank you, thank you.

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-That's good!

-I appreciate that.

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It's one of those things. Sometimes, spontaneously, stuff comes to me.

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Thanks. Now Peter, welcome. Lovely to have you here.

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-What do you do, Peter?

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I just left university recently

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-so I'm sort of in the murky bit.

-What was your degree?

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-English literature.

-Open ended, it could go anywhere.

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-I might even go back and do something different.

-Really?

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-What would you say were your fortes?

-Fortes?

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-I'm a big fan of American sports. Geography.

-OK.

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I'm trying to think of a job that would involve all of those.

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-Quarterback at the Minnesota Vikings.

-There you go.

0:17:220:17:25

Some travel involved in that, certainly.

0:17:250:17:27

-They are lacking in that position.

-Yeah.

0:17:270:17:30

OK, now Peter, you're on 66.

0:17:300:17:32

The high scorers are Gilly and Caz on 133.

0:17:320:17:35

Actually, you have to score 66 or less, the score but Maud scored.

0:17:350:17:40

The score that Maud scored!

0:17:400:17:44

There's only two there that I know.

0:17:440:17:47

Franz Ferdinand's Take Me Out

0:17:470:17:49

and Travis, Why Does It Always Rain On Me?

0:17:490:17:51

I'm going to go with Take Me Out by Franz Ferdinand.

0:17:510:17:55

Take Me Out, says Peter. There is your red line.

0:17:550:17:58

If you get below that with Take Me Out,

0:17:580:17:59

you're through to the next round.

0:17:590:18:01

It's right, and you're through.

0:18:040:18:06

Oh, very, very well done indeed. Look at that, 14.

0:18:100:18:15

They all applaud while you scored what Maud scored on the board!

0:18:150:18:19

I think people missed that through the applause.

0:18:190:18:22

No, I think that's probably as it should be.

0:18:220:18:24

I thought it was very good.

0:18:240:18:26

You were right as well about Why Does It Always Rain On Me.

0:18:260:18:28

-Were you tempted to go for that?

-No.

-It would have knocked you out.

0:18:280:18:32

It's a huge scorer, it would have scored you 75 points.

0:18:320:18:37

How about that?

0:18:370:18:38

The top one, You Win Again. That would have scored 62.

0:18:380:18:42

-Do you know the Ash one?

-Shining Light.

0:18:420:18:46

Yes, that would have scored 14 points.

0:18:460:18:48

There we are, thanks very much indeed.

0:18:480:18:50

At the end of our first round,

0:18:500:18:52

the pair heading home with a high score of 133 is Gilly and Caz.

0:18:520:18:55

I'm sorry. It was that Eurythmics one. Baby's Coming Home.

0:18:550:18:58

That would be nicer than Baby's Coming Back, wouldn't it?

0:18:580:19:01

-Baby's Coming Home, that's nice.

-It needs to be rewritten.

0:19:010:19:04

Well, they should get on to that immediately.

0:19:040:19:06

In the meantime, it's been lovely having you on.

0:19:060:19:09

We look forward to seeing you again, Gilly and Caz.

0:19:090:19:11

-Thanks very much for playing.

-Thank you.

0:19:110:19:13

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for round two.

0:19:150:19:18

So, three pairs remain. At the end of this round,

0:19:220:19:25

we'll have to say goodbye to another pair.

0:19:250:19:27

Well, Pete and Michael, you've survived for now.

0:19:270:19:30

Two Tribes was quite a high score over there.

0:19:300:19:34

Ben and Sara, well done.

0:19:340:19:36

You got a B!

0:19:360:19:38

In fact, you got an A, A starred is what you got,

0:19:380:19:41

but that was a great answer.

0:19:410:19:43

You were our low scorers jointly as well.

0:19:430:19:46

Peter and Maud, very good, good solid play there. Very well done.

0:19:460:19:50

Keep that up and you should be in the head-to-head,

0:19:500:19:52

but best of luck to all three pairs.

0:19:520:19:54

Our category for round two today is golf.

0:19:540:19:57

Can you all decide in your pairs who is going to go first,

0:19:590:20:02

who is going to go second

0:20:020:20:04

and whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

0:20:040:20:07

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

0:20:090:20:12

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many top 100 golfers

0:20:120:20:18

at the beginning of 2014 as they could.

0:20:180:20:22

The top 100 golfers at the beginning of 2014. Richard?

0:20:220:20:27

We're looking for the name of any golfer

0:20:270:20:29

ranked in the world's top 100 at the end of the week ending

0:20:290:20:32

5 January 2014, so any male golfer in the world's top 100.

0:20:320:20:35

There are over 70 pointless answers on this list,

0:20:350:20:39

so plenty of room to get some pointless answers. Good luck.

0:20:390:20:43

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Maud, are you happy with this?

0:20:430:20:48

No, I'm going to have to say Tiger Woods.

0:20:480:20:50

Tiger Woods, says Maud. Let's see if that's right.

0:20:500:20:53

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Tiger Woods.

0:20:530:20:55

It's right. Still going down.

0:20:590:21:01

63, not bad at all. That's fine.

0:21:010:21:04

A lot better than 100.

0:21:040:21:05

14 major titles for Tiger Woods,

0:21:070:21:09

including being the first man to hold all four at the same time.

0:21:090:21:12

Thank you very much indeed. Ben.

0:21:120:21:15

I'm going to have to go for somebody who I hope is still playing.

0:21:150:21:19

Vijay Singh.

0:21:190:21:22

Vijay Singh, says Ben, let's see if that's right

0:21:220:21:24

and let's see how many people said Vijay Singh.

0:21:240:21:26

Oh, Ben! Oh, I'm afraid there's your answer.

0:21:280:21:33

I'm afraid not a correct answer. That scores you 100 points, sorry.

0:21:330:21:38

He was in that world top 100 for many, many years

0:21:380:21:40

but hasn't been for a little while, I'm afraid.

0:21:400:21:42

Thanks, Richard, now, Pete,

0:21:440:21:46

-how do you feel about golf?

-That's not the worst subject for me.

0:21:460:21:49

Good, hurray! What are you going to go for?

0:21:490:21:53

I think I'm going to go for Justin Rose.

0:21:530:21:55

Justin Rose, says Pete. Let's see if that's right.

0:21:550:21:58

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

0:21:580:22:00

It is, of course, right.

0:22:020:22:04

Well, 63 is our low score so far, but you've passed that,

0:22:040:22:07

-very comfortably. Look at that. Justin Rose down to 14.

-APPLAUSE

0:22:070:22:12

Well done on the far podium, there.

0:22:120:22:15

Yeah, he was ranked number four at the beginning of 2014.

0:22:150:22:18

First Englishman in 43 years to win the US Open.

0:22:180:22:21

Thanks, Rich. We're halfway through the round.

0:22:210:22:23

Let's take a look at those scores. 14, the best score of that pass.

0:22:230:22:26

Pete, well done. You and Michael looking supreme at this point.

0:22:260:22:29

Then, up to 63, where we find Maud and Peter. Then, up to 100.

0:22:290:22:32

Ben, I'm sorry. That was a brave try.

0:22:320:22:35

Sara, luckily, your golf knowledge, I know, will get you through.

0:22:350:22:40

So, good luck with that.

0:22:400:22:41

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

0:22:410:22:45

OK. So, Michael, we are looking for any man who's

0:22:480:22:52

featured in the world's top 100

0:22:520:22:55

golfers at the start of 2014.

0:22:550:22:58

I know quite a few golfers, but I'm going to play it safe. Lee Westwood.

0:22:580:23:01

Lee Westwood, says Michael. There's your red line.

0:23:010:23:04

If you get below that, you're through to the next round.

0:23:040:23:07

Let's see how many people said Lee Westwood.

0:23:070:23:10

Look at that. Through you go, into the head-to-head.

0:23:110:23:15

It's another good answer. Nine!

0:23:170:23:19

-Best score of the round so far, Michael! Well done!

-APPLAUSE

0:23:190:23:22

23 is your total.

0:23:230:23:26

Former world number one, Lee Westwood.

0:23:260:23:28

There's such an opportunity to add money to the jackpot,

0:23:280:23:31

if you know your golfers on this round.

0:23:310:23:33

-But you've got to get yourself through.

-Thanks very much. Now, Sara.

0:23:330:23:38

Am I right in guessing this isn't your favourite round?

0:23:380:23:41

-It's not my favourite, no. I have no idea.

-OK.

0:23:410:23:45

-No idea, as in making up names, no idea?

-Yes.

0:23:450:23:49

I think my favourite moments in Pointless are those that

0:23:490:23:54

flow from this.

0:23:540:23:55

I could go for a standard name that may or may not be a person.

0:23:550:23:59

Go for an un-standard name.

0:23:590:24:01

We'll go for Veron Chuttlebutte.

0:24:010:24:04

LAUGHTER

0:24:040:24:06

-Veron Chuttlebutte.

-Yes.

0:24:080:24:10

LAUGHTER

0:24:100:24:12

The question being, is Veron still playing? Well, let's find out.

0:24:120:24:16

Veron Chuttlebutte.

0:24:160:24:18

No red line for you, as you're the high scorers,

0:24:180:24:20

but let's see how many people went with Veron.

0:24:200:24:23

I'm afraid, an incorrect answer, but by far the most enjoyable

0:24:260:24:30

incorrect answer we've had for a long time.

0:24:300:24:34

-Yes, bad luck.

-I'm afraid it's Veron SHUDDLEBUTTE. I couldn't accept it.

0:24:340:24:39

World number 19.

0:24:390:24:40

-Now, Peter.

-Yeah.

-I have enormously good news for you.

0:24:400:24:46

-You are through to the head-to-head, whatever happens.

-That's good. Um...

0:24:460:24:51

This isn't the best subject... I've got a couple of names.

0:24:510:24:55

I'll say Padraig Harrington.

0:24:550:24:57

Padraig Harrington. Let's see if that's right.

0:24:570:24:59

No red line for you, you're already through, but let's see if Padraig

0:24:590:25:03

Harrington's right and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

0:25:030:25:06

Ooh!

0:25:060:25:08

I'm afraid an incorrect answer.

0:25:080:25:10

Scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 163,

0:25:100:25:13

but you're already through anyhow.

0:25:130:25:14

Padraig Harrington's one of those guys who was world top ten,

0:25:140:25:19

won Majors, all sorts of things, has had an absolute terminal decline.

0:25:190:25:22

I suspect he'll be back in the top 100 at some point,

0:25:220:25:25

but he's not there at the moment.

0:25:250:25:27

Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers.

0:25:270:25:30

There's all sorts of pointless answers.

0:25:300:25:32

I think, unfortunately, a tough round for the people here,

0:25:320:25:35

but for people at home, well done if you said any of these:

0:25:350:25:39

There's lots of other names on the list.

0:25:560:25:59

David Lynn, Dustin Johnson, Charl Schwartzel, Jason Duffner,

0:25:590:26:02

all sorts of names up there. Very well done if you said any of those.

0:26:020:26:05

Peter Hanson, the Swede, is up there as well.

0:26:050:26:08

Let's take a look at the biggest scorers. Heard two of them already.

0:26:080:26:12

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

0:26:180:26:19

So, at the end of our second round, the pair heading home

0:26:190:26:23

with their high score of 200, it's Sara and Ben.

0:26:230:26:26

Well, you'll be back next time, when I imagine there'll be no golf.

0:26:260:26:29

There'll be plenty of things that are perfectly Sara

0:26:290:26:32

and Ben compatible. And I hope we'll see you go much further.

0:26:320:26:35

It's been a pleasure having you on thus far.

0:26:350:26:38

-Sara and Ben, thanks so much.

-APPLAUSE

0:26:380:26:42

But for Pete and Michael, Peter and Maud,

0:26:420:26:45

it's now time for the head-to-head.

0:26:450:26:47

APPLAUSE

0:26:470:26:50

Congratulations, Pete and Michael, Peter and Maud,

0:26:510:26:54

you are now one step closer to the final

0:26:540:26:57

and a chance to play for our jackpot, which current stands at:

0:26:570:27:01

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:27:010:27:03

So, here is where we decide who goes through to the final

0:27:030:27:06

and plays for that jackpot and we do that by making you go head-to-head.

0:27:060:27:10

You're now allowed to play as a team for the first time

0:27:100:27:13

and you can confer.

0:27:130:27:14

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

0:27:140:27:18

I think this is going to be a very exciting head-to-head.

0:27:180:27:20

-Best of luck to both pairs and let's play it.

-APPLAUSE

0:27:200:27:24

Here comes your first question and it concerns:

0:27:280:27:31

Newspaper columnists.

0:27:340:27:36

We're going to show you five pictures of people who write regular

0:27:360:27:39

columns in UK newspapers.

0:27:390:27:40

Can you identify the most obscure of these?

0:27:400:27:43

Thanks. OK, let's reveal our five columnists and here they are.

0:27:430:27:47

OK, there we are. Five columnists. Pete and Michael.

0:28:050:28:10

Struggling on this one, but we think B is Peter Hitchens.

0:28:100:28:14

OK, straight in there. Straight in there. B, Peter Hitchens,

0:28:140:28:18

say Pete and Michael.

0:28:180:28:20

Now, Peter and Maud, do you want to talk us

0:28:200:28:23

through the rest of the board?

0:28:230:28:25

We only know C and D, Victoria Coren and...

0:28:250:28:30

Liz Jones and I am absolutely kicking myself because I do

0:28:300:28:33

know who A is, but her name has completely vanished from my head.

0:28:330:28:37

So, I think we're going to go for C and say Liz Jones.

0:28:370:28:40

C, Liz Jones. So we have Peter Hitchens, we have Liz Jones.

0:28:400:28:44

Now, Pete and Michael went for Peter Hitchens for B. Let's see if that's right

0:28:440:28:48

and if it is, let's see how many people said Peter Hitchens.

0:28:480:28:52

It's right.

0:28:540:28:56

-Eight.

-APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:29:010:29:04

Very well done. Good answer. Well chosen.

0:29:050:29:09

Peter and Maud, meanwhile have said that C is Liz Jones.

0:29:090:29:13

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many people said Liz Jones.

0:29:130:29:17

It's right.

0:29:190:29:20

Oh, close! Very close. 16 for Liz Jones.

0:29:250:29:28

But Pete and Michael, you win it with Peter Hitchens.

0:29:280:29:31

After one question, you're up 1-nil.

0:29:310:29:33

Actually, A would have won you the point.

0:29:330:29:36

Writer of the brilliant How To Be A Woman, it's Caitlin Moran.

0:29:360:29:39

She would have scored you seven points.

0:29:390:29:41

Well done if you said that at home.

0:29:420:29:44

Great book as well, if you don't have it.

0:29:440:29:46

D is Victoria Coren Mitchell.

0:29:460:29:48

She would have scored 32, she's the biggest scorer up there.

0:29:480:29:51

-And the lowest scorer is E. Do you know him?

-Excellent. Hugo Rifkind.

0:29:510:29:55

Hugo Rifkind, he would have scored you two points.

0:29:550:29:59

Thank you very much, Richard. Here comes your second question.

0:29:590:30:02

Peter and Maud, you get to answer it first, but you have to win it to stay in the game.

0:30:020:30:05

Best of luck. It concerns:

0:30:050:30:08

-Norway.

-Yeah, we're going to give you five clues now to facts about Norway.

0:30:110:30:15

Can you give us the best answer up there? Good luck.

0:30:150:30:18

OK, let's reveal our five clues and here they come. We have got:

0:30:180:30:22

I'll read those all one last time.

0:30:380:30:40

Peter and Maud, help yourselves.

0:30:560:30:58

-I'm not sure about the currency.

-What do you want to do?

0:30:580:31:02

The land border?

0:31:020:31:04

Yeah. OK, um...

0:31:040:31:06

We're going to go with the land border one and that's Finland.

0:31:060:31:10

Finland, say Peter and Maud. Finland.

0:31:100:31:13

Now, Pete and Michael, talk us through what you can on that board.

0:31:130:31:18

The currency's the krone, with a K.

0:31:180:31:20

The capital city's Oslo. We're not so sure of the others.

0:31:200:31:24

-Go for the currency.

-We'll go for the currency, Krone.

0:31:240:31:27

-Norwegian krone.

-Krone, say Pete and Michael, for the currency.

0:31:270:31:32

OK, so, Peter and Maud said Finland was the other country sharing

0:31:320:31:35

an eastern land border. Let's see if that's right

0:31:350:31:38

and if it is, let's see how many people said Finland.

0:31:380:31:42

It's right.

0:31:420:31:43

-40.

-APPLAUSE

0:31:460:31:48

40 for Finland.

0:31:500:31:52

Pete and Michael have said the krone is the unit of currency.

0:31:520:31:55

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it.

0:31:550:31:58

It's right. It has to beat 40, though.

0:32:000:32:04

And it doesn't, I'm afraid. 54, which means

0:32:040:32:07

well done, Peter and Maud. Back in the game you come.

0:32:070:32:10

After two questions, it's one all.

0:32:100:32:12

Let's fill in the rest of this board. You're right about the capital city,

0:32:120:32:15

it's Oslo. A bigger scorer, though - it would have scored you 76 points.

0:32:150:32:19

And the Conservative party leader...

0:32:190:32:21

is Erna Solberg.

0:32:210:32:23

The second female Prime Minister in Norway. Two points for her.

0:32:230:32:27

And the king who ascended to the throne was King Harald the fifth.

0:32:270:32:31

That would have scored you seven points.

0:32:310:32:33

So, Erna Solberg, "Iron Erna", they call her,

0:32:330:32:36

was the best answer there.

0:32:360:32:37

Thanks very much indeed. OK, here comes your third and final question.

0:32:370:32:41

This will decide who goes through to the final and plays for that

0:32:410:32:44

jackpot. Best of luck to both pairs. It concerns...

0:32:440:32:46

Astronomical terms, Richard.

0:32:500:32:52

We're about to show you five terms now used in astronomy,

0:32:520:32:54

but we've removed alternate letters. Can you fill in those gaps?

0:32:540:32:57

-Best of luck, both teams.

-Thanks very much indeed.

0:32:570:33:00

Let's reveal our five astronomical terms and here they come.

0:33:000:33:03

We've got...

0:33:030:33:04

I'll read those all one final time.

0:33:150:33:17

There we are. Five astronomical terms.

0:33:250:33:28

Pete and Michael, you will go first.

0:33:280:33:32

THEY CONFER

0:33:320:33:34

The fourth one's the best one.

0:33:370:33:38

Right, we're going to go for the fourth one down,

0:33:380:33:42

which is meteorite.

0:33:420:33:44

Meteorite, say Pete and Michael. Meteorite.

0:33:440:33:46

Now, Peter and Maud, talk us through the board.

0:33:460:33:49

Fill in as many blanks as you can.

0:33:490:33:51

The middle one is annoying me.

0:33:510:33:53

The bottom one is supernova,

0:33:530:33:56

and there is eclipse, there is

0:33:560:33:58

something galaxy, I don't know...

0:33:580:34:00

Oh, spiral. Spiral galaxy.

0:34:000:34:02

-Do you want to go for that?

-Yeah. OK.

0:34:020:34:04

We're going to go for spiral galaxy.

0:34:040:34:06

OK, spiral galaxy, say Peter and Maud.

0:34:060:34:10

So, we have meteorite and we have spiral galaxy.

0:34:100:34:14

Pete and Michael said meteorite.

0:34:140:34:16

Let's see if that's right and let's see how many people said meteorite..

0:34:160:34:20

It's right.

0:34:200:34:22

Wow. Low score. Look at that, ten for meteorite!

0:34:260:34:29

APPLAUSE

0:34:290:34:30

Peter and Maud, meanwhile, have gone for spiral galaxy.

0:34:350:34:38

Let's see if that's right and if it is,

0:34:380:34:40

let's see how many people said it. Spiral galaxy.

0:34:400:34:42

It's right.

0:34:440:34:46

Now, meteorite scored ten. Spiral galaxy,

0:34:490:34:51

oh, scores 11!

0:34:510:34:53

APPLAUSE

0:34:530:34:54

Unlucky, guys.

0:34:540:34:56

Really unlucky. Really unlucky, that.

0:34:560:34:59

Well done, Pete and Michael.

0:34:590:35:01

After three questions, you're through to the final, 2-1.

0:35:010:35:04

-Slight surprise result, there.

-Do you think?

0:35:040:35:06

-Well, I suppose galaxy is...

-And there's two words missing.

0:35:060:35:10

It's unusual, these, when things are missed out,

0:35:100:35:12

because it's not just how common the word is,

0:35:120:35:14

it's how difficult it is to spot.

0:35:140:35:15

-Yeah.

-Because, for example, I think you knew supernova,

0:35:150:35:18

and that would have scored six points.

0:35:180:35:21

That would have seen you into the final.

0:35:210:35:23

Eclipse would have been too many points.

0:35:230:35:26

That would have scored you 40.

0:35:260:35:27

And there's a word for the boundary between the light side

0:35:270:35:30

and the dark side of a planet or other body,

0:35:300:35:32

and it's a terminator, and it's a pointless answer.

0:35:320:35:35

Well, thanks very much. At the end of our head-to-head,

0:35:370:35:39

the pair we're saying goodbye to is Peter and Maud.

0:35:390:35:42

Well, you did very well there. Three great answers.

0:35:420:35:45

Don't be too downcast, though, because you'll be back next time

0:35:450:35:47

and we will look forward to seeing you, then.

0:35:470:35:49

I'm sure you will do even better,

0:35:490:35:51

but thanks very much for playing so well today. Peter and Maud!

0:35:510:35:55

APPLAUSE

0:35:550:35:58

But, for Pete and Michael, it's now time for our Pointless final.

0:35:580:36:01

Congratulations, Pete and Michael. You've seen off all the competition

0:36:040:36:08

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

0:36:080:36:10

You now have the chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

0:36:160:36:18

and, at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £3,250.

0:36:180:36:23

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:36:230:36:25

Well, who would have thought this was going to be the outcome?

0:36:280:36:31

Who would have thought? You have done very well, you really have.

0:36:310:36:34

What's the sort of thing you'd like to see come up?

0:36:340:36:37

You know what they're like, these final rounds. They're sometimes tricky,

0:36:370:36:40

the categories we put up on the board. What would you like to see appear up there?

0:36:400:36:43

-I would dream of football or geography.

-Football or geography.

0:36:430:36:46

-Or maybe both. Sometimes the two combine.

-Maybe both, yeah.

0:36:460:36:49

As always, you get to choose your category. They're about to appear on

0:36:490:36:52

this board behind me. Let's see what we've got for you today.

0:36:520:36:55

Up there, we have world footballers.

0:36:560:36:59

That's kind of geography and football, isn't it?

0:36:590:37:01

-Well...Lulu!

-Yeah, it's a tricky one, really.

0:37:060:37:10

Yeah, I think we'll go for world footballers, please.

0:37:100:37:13

-World footballers, it is. Richard.

-OK, best of luck, guys.

0:37:130:37:16

In December 2013, the Guardian newspaper published

0:37:160:37:19

a list of the 100 best footballers in the world, 2013.

0:37:190:37:21

We are looking for anybody on that list who has represented Brazil,

0:37:210:37:26

internationally, anyone who has represented Italy,

0:37:260:37:29

internationally, or anybody who has represented Spain, internationally.

0:37:290:37:34

So, any Brazilian, Italian or Spanish international on the list

0:37:340:37:37

of the 100 best footballers in the world, 2013.

0:37:370:37:40

Very best of luck. Nice category.

0:37:400:37:43

OK. As always, you've got up to one

0:37:430:37:45

minute to come up with three answers.

0:37:450:37:47

All you need to win that jackpot is for just one of those answers

0:37:470:37:49

-to be pointless. Are you ready?

-Yes.

-Yes.

0:37:490:37:52

OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock. There they are.

0:37:520:37:54

Your time starts now.

0:37:540:37:56

-OK.

-Brazil.

-Right, let's go through Brazil.

0:37:560:37:59

-David Luiz.

-So, we'll take the obvious.

-Who's that?

-David Luiz.

0:37:590:38:02

-Do you think he's in the top 100?

-Yeah. I would have said so.

0:38:020:38:05

-Right.

-Liverpool mid-fielder.

0:38:050:38:07

-Lucas Leiva?

-Yeah. OK.

0:38:070:38:08

-Italy.

-Pirlo.

-Who's the striker?

0:38:100:38:14

Uh...

0:38:140:38:15

-I don't think...I'm not so sure.

-Right.

0:38:160:38:18

-I would have said Pirlo...

-Pirlo.

-...was one of them.

0:38:180:38:21

I think they're going to come from Spain, to be honest with you.

0:38:210:38:23

-What about Juan Mata?

-Juan Mata.

-Yeah.

0:38:230:38:26

-Iniesta.

-Do you think...might be in there?

0:38:260:38:28

I think he could be, yeah.

0:38:280:38:30

What about Valdes?

0:38:300:38:31

-Victor Valdes, that's a good...

-Do you want to go Victor Valdes?

0:38:310:38:34

-I think so.

-Yeah. Victor Valdes.

-Second choice, obviously.

0:38:340:38:38

Yeah, but it's the top 100 footballers in the world.

0:38:380:38:42

What about Iniesta?

0:38:420:38:44

Ten seconds left.

0:38:450:38:47

Let's go with Valdes...Lucas Leiva...

0:38:470:38:49

-Lucas Leiva, yeah.

-..and...

0:38:490:38:52

-Juan Mata?

-Pirlo.

-Andrea Pirlo.

0:38:520:38:56

OK, that's your time up. I now need your three answers.

0:38:560:38:59

What are they going to be?

0:38:590:39:00

OK, so, for a Brazilian, we're going to go for Lucas Leiva.

0:39:000:39:03

-Lucas Leiva.

-Italian, we're going to go for Andrea Pirlo.

-Andrea Pirlo.

0:39:030:39:08

-And for Spanish, we're going to go for Victor Valdes.

-Victor Valdes.

0:39:080:39:13

Now, of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

0:39:130:39:17

-Valdes.

-Valdes goes last. Which is your least likely?

-Andrea Pirlo.

0:39:170:39:21

OK, lets put those answers up on the board in that order,

0:39:210:39:24

and here they are. We have...

0:39:240:39:26

Well, very, very best of luck.

0:39:310:39:34

Your first answer, you said Andrea Pirlo.

0:39:340:39:36

You thought this was probably your least likely to be pointless.

0:39:360:39:39

Remember, only one of them has to be pointless for you to win that

0:39:390:39:42

jackpot. It's turning into quite a decent jackpot now, 3,250 quid.

0:39:420:39:45

What would you do with that, Pete, if you won it?

0:39:450:39:48

I think I'd probably go on holiday, quite predictably.

0:39:480:39:51

I think I'd go to Vegas.

0:39:510:39:52

It's somewhere I've always wanted to go and I've just never got to.

0:39:520:39:55

-OK, Michael?

-I think I'd do a cruise around the Caribbean.

0:39:550:39:58

Never been to the Caribbean, but a nice cruise round the Caribbean.

0:39:580:40:00

Excellent. Andrea Pirlo is your first answer. Let's find out.

0:40:000:40:03

Obviously, it has to be right, then it has to be pointless for you

0:40:030:40:06

to win the jackpot.

0:40:060:40:08

For £3,250, how many people said Andrea Pirlo?

0:40:080:40:10

Well, it's right. That was the first thing it had to be.

0:40:130:40:15

Now, if this goes all the way down to 0, you leave here with £3,250.

0:40:150:40:20

Andrea Pirlo, now going down into the teens. Down into...

0:40:200:40:23

Not quite single figures. 11.

0:40:230:40:26

-APPLAUSE

-OK, fair enough.

0:40:260:40:29

You were just finding your range there, weren't you?

0:40:290:40:32

That wasn't a serious pointless answer, was it?

0:40:320:40:34

-That was just filling a place.

-Yeah.

-Yes.

0:40:340:40:37

Your second answer was Lucas Leiva.

0:40:370:40:40

Again, this has to be pointless for you to win the jackpot.

0:40:410:40:44

Let's find out, for £3,250, how many people said Lucas Leiva.

0:40:440:40:48

Is it pointless?

0:40:480:40:49

Oh...

0:40:520:40:54

I'm afraid it's not pointless. I'm afraid it's not correct.

0:40:540:40:57

You only have one more chance to win today's jackpot.

0:40:570:41:00

Everything is now riding on your third and final answer,

0:41:000:41:02

which was Victor Valdes.

0:41:020:41:03

It have to be right, first, then it has to be pointless.

0:41:030:41:06

If it is both of those things, you will walk away with £3,250.

0:41:060:41:10

Let's find out if Victor Valdes is pointless.

0:41:100:41:13

Well, your first answer, Andrea Pirlo,

0:41:170:41:20

took us down to 11.

0:41:200:41:21

Your second answer, Lucas Leiva, took us nowhere, I'm afraid,

0:41:210:41:24

but your last answer is taking us down through single figures,

0:41:240:41:27

down it goes, still going, you got it!

0:41:270:41:29

-APPLAUSE

-Very well done indeed!

0:41:290:41:33

Fantastic! That's brilliant. Very well done.

0:41:330:41:36

Congratulations.

0:41:360:41:37

Get in!

0:41:390:41:41

Wow!

0:41:410:41:42

Many, many congratulations, Pete and Michael.

0:41:450:41:48

Victor Valdes was a pointless answer, which means you go home

0:41:480:41:50

-with our jackpot of £3,250. Very well done.

-Fantastic.

0:41:500:41:53

Talk about the perfect category coming up. That's great for you.

0:41:590:42:03

It could have been Shakespeare, for goodness' sake!

0:42:030:42:06

Then we would have been in trouble.

0:42:060:42:07

-Pete, I think you are the Liverpool fan, aren't you?

-I am.

0:42:070:42:10

And Lucas, not in the world's top 100 players. Won't be a big shock to you.

0:42:100:42:15

But let's take a look at some people who were,

0:42:150:42:17

and who were pointless answers.

0:42:170:42:19

Brazilians, Dante, the Bayern Munich defender was a pointless answer.

0:42:190:42:22

Diego Costa, who now actually plays for Spain.

0:42:220:42:25

Marcello, Marquinhos, also a pointless answer.

0:42:250:42:27

Also could have had Thiago Silva, there.

0:42:270:42:30

Marquinhos plays for PSG, as does Marco Verratti,

0:42:300:42:33

also a pointless answer.

0:42:330:42:35

And the Lazio goalie, Federico Marchetti.

0:42:350:42:38

Let's take a look at the Spanish players.

0:42:380:42:41

Isco, the Real Madrid midfielder was there.

0:42:410:42:44

Michu of Swansea.

0:42:440:42:45

Santi Cazorla of Arsenal and Victor Valdes, the Barcelona goalkeeper.

0:42:450:42:49

Very well done, if you got some of those at home. I know football fans

0:42:490:42:52

will have aced that, and it came along at a very nice time.

0:42:520:42:55

-Two very nice guys, so I'm very pleased for you.

-Thank you.

0:42:550:42:57

Thanks very much, Richard. Well, thanks, once again, to our winning

0:42:570:43:00

players, Pete and Michael, who go away with today's jackpot of £3,250.

0:43:000:43:04

APPLAUSE

0:43:040:43:06

Join us next time when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to

0:43:090:43:12

the test on Pointless. Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

0:43:120:43:14

-Goodbye.

-..and it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

0:43:140:43:17

APPLAUSE

0:43:170:43:19

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