Episode 9 Pointless

Thank you very much. Hello. I'm Alexander Armstrong

and a very warm welcome to Pointless,

the game where you are always aiming for the lowest score.

Let's meet today's players.

-And couple number one.

-Hi. I'm Matt.

This is my housemate, Sam, and we're students from Bristol.

Couple number two.

Hi. I'm Jim and this is my best friend, Pat.

Pat lives near to Lancaster in the Lune Valley

and I live near Preston in the River Valley.

-Couple number three.

-Hi. I'm Blair. This is my girlfriend, Samantha.

-We live in Northampton.

-And finally couple number four.

-I'm Jacky.

I'm from New Waltham. And this is my mum, Lynn, from Cleethorpes.

And these are today's contestants.

Thanks very much to you.

We'll find out more about each of you throughout the show,

so that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

He's got an eye for detail and another eye...

Well, let's just say that one's for the ladies.

It's my Pointless friend.

-It's Richard.

-Hiya.

Hi, everybody.

Hiya.

-Good afternoon.

-And to you.

-What a show last time.

-Yeah.

Gave away a big jackpot, didn't we? £6,000 and a bit to Stu and Mike.

Yeah, by accident. They stumbled into that.

They did, didn't they? Sometimes you

get people that get three Pointless answers and it's awesome.

They had two answers which were nothing and one answer

-that they just sort of slightly made up.

-Mm.

And won them £6,000 and a bit.

-It wasn't bad going, was it?

-Not bad.

I've never seen two people more surprised.

-They were... Let's call them surprised and happy.

-Yes.

I think by about now, it will have sunk in, I think.

I think they were almost scared.

-I think they were frightened because of the size of the jackpot.

-Indeed.

-And exactly what they had achieved.

-Yeah.

You know, it's like climbing Everest. It's a bit like climbing Everest.

Yes. But they did it without any of the stages.

They went straight from base camp.

Accidentally, they woke up one morning

and found themselves right at the top.

As if they had been carried by a mighty eagle.

Yes. The Pointless eagle.

This is the show where we invented that phrase.

-You'll be hearing it a lot in the future.

-Literally just invented it.

The Pointless eagle. Wh...whoa! Right answer.

But you know that more people have climbed Everest

than have ever won the Pointless jackpot,

which means statistically, winning the Pointless jackpot is harder

than climbing Everest.

Yes.

And also, no-one has ever used extra oxygen to win Pointless.

Everyone has done it just on the oxygen in the studio.

Mind you, the oxygen in the studio is kind of something, isn't it?

-The stuff they pump in here.

-It's amazing.

I don't know what it is, but it's...

-Quite something. Anyway, shall we get on?

-Come on. Let's do it.

Thanks very much. Every question on Pointless has been

put to 100 people before the show.

Today's contestants, like all contestants,

are trying to find a Pointless answer -

that being an answer that none of those 100 people gave.

Find one of those and we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Now then, Stu and Mike, as you'll have gathered,

won the jackpot last time so today's jackpot starts off back at £1,000.

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

Remember, the pair with the highest score

at the end of each round will be eliminated.

That's all you need to remember. Our first category today is Words.

Words. Decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

Let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name

as many words ending in P-O-R-T, words ending in P-O-R-T. Richard?

We're looking for any word which has its own entry

in the Oxford Dictionary of English that ends P-O-R-T.

As always, no proper nouns, hyphenated words, anything like that.

Any word in the Oxford Dictionary of English that ends P-O-R-T.

-Very best of luck.

-Thanks very much indeed.

-Now, Matt, welcome back to Pointless.

-Yes.

-A brief appearance last time.

-It was, yeah.

We did terribly last time. Joined the 200 Club.

Hoping we can do better this time.

-Always tough being on that first podium with a Words round.

-It is.

-Words ending P-O-R-T.

-I'm going to go for 'deport'.

"Deport" says Matt. Deport. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said deport.

OK.

28 for deport.

Avoided the 400 Club, Matt. Well done.

You'll know this, do you pass deport to the left or to the right?

-I can never remember.

-The left.

-The left, OK.

Pat, welcome to Pointless. Great to have you here. What do you do, Pat?

I'm in the fortunate position of being able to say to you

-absolutely nothing.

-That's lovely.

What kind of nothing do you like doing?

Walking with the dog, going out to lunch.

-What sort of dog have you got?

-I've got a little cavachon.

What's a cavachon?

A cavachon is a cross between a bichon frise

and a cavalier King Charles spaniel.

-Right.

-It's a mongrel.

-But that's a good mix. What colour is it? White?

It's fundamentally white with some brown on him.

-Fundamentally white.

-Fundamentally white.

Good stuff. Now then, Pat, do you like Words rounds or not?

-Well, I can live with them.

-Yeah, I think they're my favourite round.

I like a Words round. Pat, what are you going to go for?

At the risk of joining the 100 Club, I'll go with rapport.

"Rapport," says Pat. Like what you've done there.

Let's see if any of our 100 people said rapport.

It's right.

23. A new low score.

I thought that's actually a better answer

than the score it got, rapport.

23 is quite a lot. You know what rapport means.

It's that ease of communication that some people have.

Even after 700 shows, we don't seem to have quite established it.

No.

No. Not really.

-Sorry.

-It...

-Oh...

-We...

-You know...

..start each other's...

Because we often...

We know each other so well, we often finish each other's...

Um...

Uh...

-You know...

-Thank you, Richard.

Blair, welcome to Pointless. It's great to have you here again.

-Now, last time, you were head-to-headers.

-Absolutely.

Got to Round Three.

You were so close to stumbling away with a colossal sum of money.

Indeed. Just the German Chancellors.

Yeah, the German Chancellors did for you.

-But listen, it's a new show. Anything can happen.

-Absolutely.

Particularly with the word you have got for this round.

I've got a few in mind but I think I'm going to play it a bit safe

and go with teleport.

Let's see if teleport's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It is right. Well, 23 is our low score.

You shoot past 28, shoot past 23. 10 for teleport.

-Very well done.

-Well played, Blair. Terrific answer.

-Yeah, teleport.

-Good stuff.

-Now, then, Lynn, welcome. You're here from Cleethorpes.

-Yes.

-What do you get up to in Cleethorpes, Lynn?

-All sorts.

A bit of bowling. I like crown green bowling. That's something.

I go to a little pop-in club in Grimsby every week.

Crowd of ladies there, we do all sorts - quiz nights, fun nights,

and spend time with the grandchildren.

-Lovely. How many have you got?

-Three.

-Wonderful.

-Can I just say quickly hello?

-Oh, please do, yes.

Hello, Sophie. Hello, Charlie. Hello, Lexi.

Oh! Nearly forgot the third one, didn't you?

-Nearly forgot them all.

-Very good.

OK, Lynn, words ending with P-O-R-T.

Well, I'm going to take a bit of a risk here

but being as we come from Grimsby, I'm going to say fishport.

Fishport. OK. Fishport. Let's see.

A bit of a murmur has been unleashed by fishport.

Let's see if that's right and if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

-Oh. I'm sorry, Lynn. I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer.

-Sorry.

-Scores you 100 points. Sorry.

-Not a word, I'm afraid, Lynn.

I can see why it was tempting to go for,

but not in the dictionary, I'm afraid.

We're halfway through the round. Let's look at those scores.

10 the best score of that pass, Blair. Very well done.

Then up to 23, where we find Pat and Jim.

Up to 28, where we find Matt and Sam.

And then it's a bit of a hike up to 100, where we find Lynn and Jacky.

Now, Jacky, who knows what can happen on the next pass?

Sometimes, when people try really hard to find a pointless one,

they get it wrong, so it could happen,

-but we need a low score from you.

-OK.

Best of luck with that. Going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK. Jacky. Welcome to Pointless. What do you do?

-I'm an NHS administrator.

-Which department do you administer?

Well, its full title is Integrated Community Equipment Service.

It's to do with equipment for people going home, being discharged.

Right you are. And what are your hobbies?

I play in a ladies' darts team in a league every Tuesday evening.

How are you doing?

At the moment, I think we're fairly near the bottom in our league,

-I'm afraid.

-OK. What's the name of your team?

-It's The Countryman's.

-The Countryman's. Is that your pub?

-Yes, it is, yes.

-Excellent.

-They'll all be watching now, will they?

-Hope so, yes.

-Excellent.

Listen, there you are. You're on 100.

You're the highest scorers but we need from you a low score,

a lovely word that is definitely one word

and definitely a word ending P-O-R-T.

My word was teleport, but somebody's stolen that

so I'm going to go support.

"Support," says Jacky. Support.

No red line for you as you are the highest scorers

but let's see how many of our 100 people said support.

32.

Takes your total up to 132.

Again, another very apt word,

but that one actually is in the dictionary.

-But quite a high scorer - support.

-Mm. Thank you.

-Now, Samantha. Samantha, welcome back.

-Thank you.

-Remind us what you do, Samantha.

-I'm an accounts assistant.

-And remind us how you and Blair met.

-We met in a casino in Northampton.

-It was in a casino in Northampton. What game where you playing?

-Poker.

Was it Blair's poker skills that caught your eye?

-No, I actually did better than him.

-Did you?

Yeah, I made it to the final table. He was knocked out quite early.

Very good. And do you play regularly?

Are you quite a keen poker player?

We did used to. We don't play much now.

OK, Samantha, we're looking for words ending P-O-R-T.

-Good news - you're in Round Two already.

-Oh, right. OK.

-I had two.

-OK.

I'll go for it anyway if we're in Round Two, and it's heliport.

Heliport.

Heliport. Good answer.

No red line as you're already through,

but let's see how many of our 100 people said heliport.

9 for heliport!

-19 is your total.

-Well played, Samantha.

Yeah, a landing place or centre for helicopters.

I was thinking it would be nice to teleport to a heliport

-but then actually...

-Why would you?

-Yeah, you wouldn't need to.

Unless of course you worked

in engineering or something, you had an...

-Actual job. Your job was looking after the helicopters.

-Yeah.

Yeah, maybe.

-That would be easier than to drive to the heliport.

-Certainly. Certainly.

The traffic around some of those heliports,

because often, they're on the ring road.

Yeah, they often are.

Good advice there. Sage advice, as ever from Richard.

Jim, welcome to Pointless. Lovely to have you here.

You gave quite specific geographical locations for yourself and Pat.

Talk us through those again. They were lovely valleys.

The reason I said that was because I used to live in the Lune Valley.

Where's the Lune Valley?

It's if you go east of Lancaster, you go up the Lune Valley

-towards Kirkby Lonsdale.

-Lovely.

-That's where we met in a quiz team.

I was all by myself and Pat and his wife felt sorry for me.

Wonderful. Jim, what do you get up to apart from the quizzing alone?

Oh, I'm semi-retired, I would say. Like Pat, I walk...

I've got two dogs and they are called springadors.

So, we've had a cavachon,

which was the bichon and the cavalier.

A springador is a labrador and a springer spaniel, obviously.

-Well done, yes.

-There we go.

-Specifically bred for hunting...

-Right.

..with the shoots because the labrador can jump over the fence

and with it being a springer spaniel,

it can also get under the fence and splay its back legs.

-There we are.

-Magic.

-Magic. Good stuff.

Jim, you've had a little bit of time.

The good news is you're already through to the next round.

It doesn't matter what you score. But I have a feeling

a brain like yours, Jim, will have come up with a fantastic...

Well, I was going to play it safe but I'll try purport.

P-U-R-P-O-R-T.

"Purport," says Jim. No red light, you're already through,

but let's see how many of our 100 people said purport.

-Look at that! 3!

-That's a good one!

That's going to take some beating, Jim.

Lowest score of the round so far. Very well done.

-Takes your total up to 26.

-Yeah, terrific answer.

To appear to be or do something often falsely - to purport.

I've got a mongrel dog. I don't know what to call it, though.

It's a cross between a Great Dane and a cocker spaniel.

THEY ALL LAUGH

-I'm...

-Don't know what I've got there.

I know I've got something, but I don't know what it is.

Sam.

-Sam, welcome back.

-Thank you.

Now, what do you like getting up to at university

-when you're not studying drama?

-I am very into sport.

I play a lot of tennis. I play a lot of football.

My football team, we set up in the first year of uni, still in it now.

We're called Slightly Athletic.

In the first year, our team was Hardly Athletic.

The second year, we became Slightly Athletic

and then we had a kind of decision whether to stick with that

or to move on.

I thought we should have gone with Pretty Athletic

-but we decided to stick with Slightly.

-Stuck with Slightly.

Very good. There you are. You're on 28.

We have had a low score of 3 from Jim.

Do we think we can go lower than 3? You're already through, by the way.

We're already through, luckily. I've got a fair few in mind,

but I don't think they're going to beat 3.

-I'll go with transport.

-Transport.

OK, well, no red line for you as you're already through.

Let's see if that's right

and if it is, how many of our 100 people said transport.

18.

18 takes your total up to 46.

Safe and sound, Sam. Did you have an answer?

I've got a couple.

I'm torn between hoverport, which I fancy, and fieldsport.

-Fieldsport?

-Yeah.

OK, so hoverport and fieldsport.

Which do you think you'll go for?

I don't know. I think I'll go with hoverport.

Hoverport.

Fieldsport, if you'd said that, you'd have scored 100 points

because it's two words.

-Oh, right.

-Hoverport...

-Yeah?

-..is a pointless answer.

-Yes!

Very well done.

There we are. Good.

And there's only five pointless answers up there, so even better.

Let's take a look at those five.

You could have had apport, which is something in a seance,

if something material turns up in a seance,

which of course it never does.

Hoverport. Well done. Misreport would have been a very good answer.

Two more. Outport, which is when you have already got a port

and you build something on the edge of it, that's an outport.

And viewport, which is something you would have on a rig

or a spacecraft or something just to look out of.

Viewport, also a lovely town in Wales.

Let's take a look at the top three.

Import would have scored you 45.

Export would have scored you 49.

I'm interested that getting...

Exports... I mean, you know, this is good.

-This is exactly what you'd want.

-Very good for Britain.

It's good for Britain that our exports are higher than our imports.

Imagine those were billions.

That's a trade surplus there of 4 billion we've got

-which is terrific stuff.

-Excellent.

And right at the top. What do you reckon is at the top?

-Sport.

-Sport is right.

Would have scored you 68 so very well done...

Not very well done if you said that at home. What am I talking about?

If you said that at home, it's a terrible answer.

But no, field sport, blood sport, in this dictionary,

are all two words, all sport.

-None of the sport words would be correct.

-Interesting.

Spoilsport is nice. Spoilsport would have scored you 5 points.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

At the end of our first round, the pair heading home

with a high score of 132 are Jacky and Lynn. Oh, I'm sorry.

-Fish port, by which you meant a fishing village.

-Yes, fishing port.

Exactly. A fishing port. Oh, well.

We'll see you again next time,

when I'm sure we'll see much, much more of you

but in the meantime, thanks very much for playing, Jacky and Lynn.

For the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

So three pairs remain.

At the end of this round, we'll say goodbye to another pair

in time for our head-to-head round.

Congratulations to each of our pairs.

Samantha and Blair, our lowest-scoring pair in total.

Jim and Pat because Jim gave us our lowest individual score of 3,

and Matt and Sam because you're in Round Two. Hurray.

Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two is World Geography.

World Geography. Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first and who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. The question concerns Capitals Of Former Soviet Union States.

Capitals Of Former Soviet Union States. Richard.

On each board, we'll give you the names of six capital cities.

You just need to tell us the country they are the capital of, please.

As always by country, we mean a member of the UN

that's a sovereign state in its own right.

Six on each pass. 12 in all to have a go at at home so good luck.

Thanks very much. Correct at time of recording.

-That is probably worth saying.

-OK, yes.

As Richard said, we're looking for the modern-day countries

of which these cities are the capitals.

Here is our first board of six, and we have...

I'll read those all again.

There we are. Now, Sam.

OK. Um...

Obviously, I know the big one.

I'm trying to remember where Minsk is.

I think I'm going to have to play it safe.

-I'll go with Moscow, Russia.

-"Moscow, Russia," says Sam.

Let's see if that's right.

If it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Russia.

It is right.

73. Tactically, that might be the right thing to do, though.

It's got the most billionaires of any city in the world, Moscow.

It's got 84 billionaires at the last count by Forbes.

-Beats New York into second place and London into third.

-That is a lot.

-Jim.

-Yes.

Jim, you've such a cheery countenance, Jim. I do like that.

-Do you like a bluff?

-I don't know.

You look like somebody...

I think you're at home in this round.

That's a fine list of cities.

It's a bit like the Russian equivalent

of the Trumpton fire brigade, isn't it?

-What are you going to go for, Jim?

-Struggling badly on this one.

-Riga. Slovakia.

-"Riga, Slovakia," says Jim.

Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many people said Slovakia.

No. I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer. Scores you 100 points.

I had a feeling.

Sam, yes, I think that paid off, your damage limitation.

Yeah, sorry, Jim, not the capital and not a former Soviet state either.

-Other than that...

-It was near.

OK, now, Blair, this board is all yours.

Do you fancy talking us through it?

I think I might know three of them.

I think Riga might be Latvia.

I think Minsk is Belarus.

I think Bishkek might be Kyrgyzstan.

But I'm not sure.

I'm going to go with Minsk, Belarus.

"Belarus," says Blair for Minsk.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said Belarus.

Absolutely right.

20.

-Good answer there, Blair.

-Yeah, terrific answer, Blair. Well played.

It was almost completely rebuilt after the Second World War, Minsk.

Blair has done even better because Riga,

you're absolutely right, was Latvia.

It would have scored you more points though. 33.

Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan.

Best answer on the board as well. 3 points. Very well played.

Tbilisi is Georgia.

That would have scored you 14.

And Astana is Kazakhstan and would have scored you 6.

Very well done if you did well on that board.

Thanks very much. Halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores.

20 the best of that pass, Blair. Well done.

That sets you and Samantha well on the way

to the head-to-head for a second time.

Then up to 73, where we find Sam and Matt.

Then 100, Jim and Pat. Pat, how are we feeling about this as a round?

-Hopeless.

-Really?

Well, there is a scenario

in which you could get through to the head-to-head from here.

We have to work out how much

Matt knows about his former Soviet states.

OK, we're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second pairs please step up to the podium?

OK, we're going to put six more capital cities on the board,

and here they are.

We have...

I'll read those all one last time.

Now, remember, we're looking for the modern-day countries

of which these cities are the capitals.

Samantha, you're going to try

and find the one the fewest of our 100 people knew.

There you are on 20. All looking pretty good from here. 20.

If you can score 79 or less, you're definitely in the head-to-head.

I'm afraid this is an awful round for me.

I don't think I know any.

-I'm just going to have to take a guess.

-OK.

Vilnius, Slovakia.

"Vilnius, Slovakia," says Samantha.

There is your red line.

If you get below that red line, you are through to the head-to-head.

Let's see. Is Slovakia right for Vilnius

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

No, sorry, Samantha. Tough board and that has scored you 100 points.

-120 is your total.

-Sorry, Samantha.

I'll fill in all of the answers at the end of the pass.

Now, then, Pat. How are we feeling about this board?

I know one or two of them,

but finding that obscure one is the problem.

Well, listen, you've been handed a lifeline here.

I thought it could happen, it has happened.

If you can score 19 or less...

Or 100.

Let's try Azerbaijan, Tashkent.

OK. Azerbaijan, Tashkent.

Here is your red line.

If you can get below this red line with Azerbaijan,

you're in the head-to-head.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Azerbaijan for Tashkent.

Bing bong.

Oh, I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer, Pat.

Scores you 100 points.

Massive relief for Samantha and Blair over there

and indeed for Matt and Sam.

Yes, that takes your total up to 200.

Again, I'll give all the answers at the end of the pass.

I'll be giving six at this rate.

Thanks very much. Now, then, Matt, the board is all yours.

-Talk us through it.

-I think I know three. Kiev is Ukraine.

Vilnius I think is Lithuania

and the one I'm going to go for is Tallinn, which I believe is Estonia.

You're going to say Estonia for Tallinn.

No red line, you're already through

but let's see how many of our 100 people said Estonia.

Absolutely right.

26. Good answer.

Takes your total up to 99.

Well played. You were right about the three you knew as well.

Didn't go for the best one you could have done.

Vilnius would have given you a better score.

You're safely through anyway,

but Vilnius, which, as you say, is Lithuania, would have scored you 16.

Kiev is the biggest scorer by some way. It's Ukraine of course.

It would have scored you 54.

And the others are all stans

and sometimes you can get confused with all of these

so anyone who got all three of these has done very well.

Ashgabat is Turkmenistan.

Dushanbe is Tajikistan

and Tashkent is Uzbekistan.

That would have scored you 6.

So 5 for Turkmenistan, 4 for Tajikistan, 6 for Uzbekistan.

And the capital of Azerbaijan is Baku. Baku is that capital.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. So at the end of our second round,

I'm afraid to say the pair heading home

with a high score of 200, it's Pat and Jim,

but we will see you again next time.

I have high hopes for you next time, Pat and Jim,

but thanks in the meantime for playing.

It's been great having you on the show. Pat and Jim.

But for Samantha and Blair and Matt and Sam,

it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Samantha and Blair, Matt and Sam.

You are now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot,

which currently stands at £1,000.

Now, we have to decide who's going to play for that money

and to do that, you're now going to go head-to-head.

You're now allowed to confer before you give your answers.

First pair to win two questions will be in the final.

Very, very best of luck to both pairs.

Let's play the head-to-head.

OK. Here comes your first question,

and it concerns Eastenders Actors And Actresses.

Eastenders Actors And Actresses. Richard.

You'll see pictures of five actors who've appeared in Eastenders.

We need you to tell us the name of the actor, please. Good luck.

OK. Let's reveal our five actors, and here they are.

There we are. Five actors who have appeared in Eastenders.

Samantha and Blair, you will go first.

THEY WHISPER

(Have we got to say their real names?)

(Yeah. You want to go with that one?)

(I think we're going to have to.)

I'm going to go for C.

And June Brown.

"June Brown," say Samantha and Blair. June Brown.

Matt and Sam, can you talk us through the rest of the board?

Well, we think...

Well, I think B is Ross Kemp

and then I'm not really sure.

E is Shaun Williamson,

better known as Barry from Eastenders,

so I think we should go for E,

Shaun Williamson.

"Shaun Williamson," say Matt and Sam. Shaun Williamson.

Samantha and Blair said June Brown for C.

Let's see if that's right and if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people said that was June Brown.

It is June Brown.

That gets you 36.

Now, then, Matt and Sam

meanwhile have said that E is Shaun Williamson.

Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said Shaun Williamson.

It's right.

And it wins you the point.

Very well done indeed. Shaun Williamson, 8.

You've broken their serve.

Matt and Sam, after one question, you are up one-nil.

Yes, well played. Everyone knows who he is.

The full name surprising people there. Shaun Williamson.

The best ever contestant in Pointless Celebrities, wasn't he?

-Yeah.

-And a terrifically nice man apart from that.

A is Nick Berry, played Simon Wicks.

Would have scored you 28.

One of our 100 people said Nick Clegg.

B, you're right, is Ross Kemp. Biggest scorer, though.

Would have scored you 58.

And the best answer on the board, D, played Tony Hills.

It's Mark Homer.

Very well done if you said that. It's a pointless answer.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. Here comes your second question.

Samantha and Blair, you have to win this one to stay in the game.

Best of luck. It concerns...

..Multiple Winners Of The Monaco Grand Prix.

We'll show you the names of five Formula One drivers.

They've all won the Monaco Grand Prix more than once,

but we're giving them to you in anagram form.

-Can you work them out, please?

-OK, thanks, Richard.

Let's reveal our five anagrams, and here they come.

We have...

I'll read out the anagrams again.

Matt and Sam, you will go first.

THEY WHISPER

Yeah, we are struggling on all of them.

-It's a shame because my brother is a big F1 fan.

-OK.

Trying to think of Embark Brew, anyone with that kind of name.

Oh! Got it.

-Embark Brew, Mark Webber.

-OK. Mark Webber.

"Mark Webber," say Matt and Sam.

Now then, Samantha and Blair,

do you want to talk us through that board?

Well, Rosy Antenna is Ayrton Senna.

But I think that's going to be quite popular.

Sir Long Mists is Stirling Moss.

Not too sure on A Certain Turn Timing or Old Vicar Dud Hat.

-I think we'll go Stirling Moss.

-You're going to go Stirling Moss.

So, we have Mark Webber versus Stirling Moss.

Now, Matt and Sam, you have said Mark Webber for Embark Brew.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said Mark Webber.

It's right.

24 for Mark Webber.

OK, so, Samantha and Blair, you're saying Stirling Moss.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Stirling Moss.

24 is what you have to beat.

It's right.

Oh, look! Oh, 25.

Wow.

Very, very close, but I'm afraid Matt and Sam whip it away there.

Very well done there, Matt and Sam.

After only two questions, you're through to the final. Two-nil.

Yeah, that was a real photo finish. Good answers from both teams there.

Ayrton Senna, you're correct about.

Would have scored you too many points, though.

Would have scored you 42. The other two would have won you the points.

The second one is very hard, but the bottom one,

some people may well have got.

Old Vicar Dud Hat.

Been on this show. David Coulthard. Would have scored you 12.

And A Certain Turn Timing, very well done at home

if you said Maurice Trintignant.

Maurice Trintignant. 1 point for him.

Won the Monaco Grand Prix twice and then retired to run his vineyard.

-That's the way to do it.

-How more French do you want to get?

Thanks very much indeed.

So the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round, I'm sorry.

Head-to-headers in two consecutive Pointless episodes.

Fantastic play throughout the show.

Samantha and Blair, but might you have got any of those lower scoring?

-Possibly David Coulthard.

-Yeah, we should have known David Coulthard.

Yeah. Old Vicar Dud Hat seems like a great many more letters

than you'd find in David Coulthard, but I've checked, it is right.

Yeah, I'm so sorry we have to say goodbye to you.

It's been great having you on the show. Thanks so much for playing,

-Samantha and Blair.

-Thank you.

But for Matt and Sam, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Matt and Sam. You fought off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £1,000.

-Well, you have come from zero to hero.

-Yeah, fairytale story.

Yeah, very good. As always, you get to choose

your category from the four options on the board.

Let's find out what they are today. We have...

That's literally...

Let's try and go for films...

Films of legendary British comedians.

-You all right with that?

-Yeah, OK.

-OK.

-Films of legendary British comedians.

-Blimey, I am surprised.

Let's look at your three options here. We are looking for...

any film made for cinema release starring Frankie Howerd,

any film made for cinema release starring Norman Wisdom

or any film made for cinema release starring George Formby.

When we said "legendary," that's the old-fashioned version

of the word legendary, rather than legendary!

So any film starring any of those three,

according to IMDB, please.

OK. Well, as always,

you have got up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that jackpot

is for one of those answers to be pointless.

Are you ready?

-Yes.

-OK. Let's put 60 seconds up on the clock. There they are.

Your time starts now.

Let's try and think of some Carry On films

because I think Frankie Howerd might have appeared in some.

Any obscure Carry On films you can think of?

Norman Wisdom or George Formby, I have no idea.

Frankie Howerd. Carry On Laughing. Carry On Camping.

It's not going to be a fairytale finish, I'm afraid.

Yeah, Frankie Howerd I can only think of being maybe in Carry On.

-Carry On....

-Just...just name a thing.

Carry On Dancing.

-Carry On Dancing. Carry On Camping. Carry On Laughing.

-Carry On...

-10 seconds left.

-Carry On...

What one's Barbara Windsor in?

-Carry On Singing.

-OK. That's your time up.

I now need three answers from you. I'm so sorry.

It's a really, really tough category, this one.

-I think you wandered into it.

-We did stumble into it a bit.

You did a little bit.

Mind you, the last time we had people on,

they stumbled into a £6,250 jackpot, so stumbling isn't always bad.

I think we'll be tripping up in this, to be honest with you.

OK. Well, let's see. What answers are you going to give?

-Carry On Camping for Frankie Howerd.

-Carry On Camping for Frankie Howerd.

Um...

Carry On Laughing for Frankie Howerd.

Carry On Laughing for Frankie Howerd.

And Frankie Howerd Carry On Screaming.

And Frankie Howerd Carry On Screaming.

-It's nice to have a trophy anyway.

-Of those three,

which do you think is your...the one you're going to put last?

Carry On Camping.

What I'm going to call the best shot at a pointless answer.

-Carry On Screaming.

-Carry On Screaming you're going to put last?

Well, from that reaction, maybe Carry On Camping.

Carry On Camping we'll put last. Least likely to be pointless?

Carry On Laughing. Is that one of them?

Carry On Laughing we'll put first. So, Laughing, Screaming, Camping.

LAUGHTER

OK. There we are.

We've got Carry On Laughing, Carry On Screaming and Carry On Camping.

Well, very best of luck. Your first answer was Carry On Laughing.

Now, listen, there is every chance one of these

might just suddenly turn out to be correct and pointless.

I know. Ridiculous though it sounds, it has happened before.

What would you do if you won 1,000 quid, Matt?

Probably put some money down to go on holiday,

-maybe to Los Angeles. I think that's where I'd like to go.

-OK. Sam?

Yeah, probably a big holiday at the end of uni.

I'd go and work a season in Zante or Ibiza or something like that.

OK. Very best of luck.

We are looking for, in this case, Frankie Howerd.

In fact, in all of these answers, Frankie Howerd films.

Carry On Laughing was your least confident answer.

Let's find out if it's right.

Then let's find out if it's pointless.

For £1,000, how many people said Carry On Laughing?

No. I'm afraid an incorrect answer. Not a pointless answer.

Two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your next answer was Carry On Screaming.

Again a Frankie Howerd film, you thought.

Let's find out if it's right, and if it is,

let's find out how many people said it for £1,000.

Carry On Screaming. Is it pointless?

No. Only one more chance to win today's jackpot.

It is all riding on Carry On Camping.

Let's find out if it's right first,

and if it is, let's find out if it's pointless for £1,000.

Is Frankie Howerd in Carry On Camping?

No! Bad luck.

I think that was a really, really tough category,

and you had three decent shots at it.

I'm afraid they were all incorrect, but nonetheless,

you've done incredibly well to get through to the final.

Sadly, you didn't win the jackpot of £1,000.

That will roll over to the next show

but you do of course get to take home a Pointless trophy,

so very well done for that.

That final round seemed to go a lot quicker than normal, didn't it?

Did you notice that? It's weird. Usually, it goes on forever.

But that was very swift. Well played.

That was a very, very quick end round.

Very well done for that. That might be a new record.

It was a good thing to go for Carry Ons. He was in a couple.

He was in Carry On Up The Jungle and Carry On Doctor.

They would have scored you 5 points.

Up Pompeii!, the massive scorer. 50 points for that one.

Ladykillers and The Great St Trinian's Train Robbery

also scored points, but let's look at the pointless answers,

starting with Frankie Howerd.

They don't make films like that anymore, do they?

Watch It, Sailor! you could have had. Let's take a look at Norman Wisdom.

A few other answers there.

You could have had Follow A Star,

One Good Turn, The Night They Raided Minsky's,

The Sandwich Man or Up In The World. All of those pointless.

Well done if you said any of those.

And George Formby.

That's like the script of a George Formby film.

Very well done if you got any of those at home.

You've been absolutely terrific.

I hope you've enjoyed yourselves. You go home with a trophy.

-It's been a pleasure having you here.

-Thank you.

-Thanks.

Thanks very much. Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to you.

Matt and Sam, it's been great having you on the show.

Thank you so much for playing. Matt and Sam.

APPLAUSE

Well, sadly, Matt and Sam didn't win our jackpot today,

which means it rolls over onto the next show,

when we will be playing for £2,000.

APPLAUSE

Join us next time to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.