Episode 42 Pointless

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless, the show

where the more obscure your knowledge

the better your chances of winning.

Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

And couple number one.

Well, my wife, Doreen, and I'm Christopher and we've been

married for 54-and-a-half years

and we come from Cambridgeshire.

-Couple number two.

-Hello, my name's Jack. This is my twin brother, Tom.

-I live in Edinburgh and he lives in Manchester.

-Couple number three.

Hello, my name's Sue and this is my son-in-law, Fergus.

I'm from Wrexham and Fergus is from Dorchester.

And, finally, couple number four.

Hello, my name's Louise, this is my friend Amanda.

We're friends from St Andrews University

and we're both from Glasgow.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

We'll find out more about you throughout the show as it

goes along, so that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

If life really were a box of chocolates, then this man

would be the detailed and informative guide pamphlet.

Or one of the coffee ones.

-It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-Afternoon.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING Afternoon, everybody.

-How are you today?

-I'm very well indeed.

-Excellent.

Got one returning pair. Jack and Tom are back with us,

got through to the head-to-head last time

so they are formidable opponents, everyone, I warn you of that.

-Couple of things to pick up on before we start.

-Yes.

-Sue and Fergus...

-Yes.

-..mother-in-law, son-in-law.

-Oh, can I...? It gets better.

-Oh, no, really?

-Brand-new mother, I mean, five months.

-You are...

-Five months into it.

-..kidding! I'm trying to work...

I'm trying to work out who's the braver here.

That is quite a relationship tester, isn't it?

And on podium one, Doreen and Christopher. 54-and-a-half years married.

-How about that?

-How about that?

-That's amazing, isn't it?

-Yeah.

That's a long... That's almost longer than us.

-LAUGHTER

-Yeah. Goodness.

Well, thank you, Richard.

So, Sarah and Nick, as you've gathered,

didn't win the jackpot last time

so we add another £1,000 to that.

So today's jackpot starts off at £3,500.

APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

Now, remember, the pair with the highest score

at the end of each round will be eliminated.

It's your job to make sure that pair is not you.

Our first category today is...

Definitions.

Can you decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

-The Nato phonetic alphabet.

-LAUGHTER

-Richard.

-We're going to give you seven clues on each pass

to different things. All of those answers are also, coincidently,

words used in the Nato phonetic alphabet.

There's going to be seven on the first pass, seven on the second, 14 in all.

-Good luck, everybody.

-OK.

So, we're looking for the letters in the Nato phonetic alphabet

described by these clues. Here's our first board of seven.

I'll read those all one last time.

Christopher, welcome to Pointless. Great to have you. 54-and-a-half years.

-Does it show?

-No, it really doesn't!

Congratulations. A diamond wedding is what you're heading towards.

-Fantastic. And what do you do, Christopher?

-Not very much.

Well, that's exactly the right answer. And what did you used to do?

Retired Anglican vicar and, after retirement, I became a pilot

-and I've written about ten books.

-What sort of books have you written?

Well, I put the whole of the Bible into limerick verse.

-LAUGHTER

-That's good.

And I think that it's 1,001 limericks. I think

-it's more than anybody's ever had published.

-So all the Psalms?

-The whole lot.

-The whole lot?!

-The Apocrypha, as well.

What's the first limerick?

-Well, you must buy the book.

-LAUGHTER

So, Christopher... And piloting? That was a brave thing to take up.

Well, it's something I've wanted to do for years and years only

because I was given a test flight, you know,

and he said, "Christopher, you're a natural pilot."

I fell for it.

-Yeah, they saw you coming.

-And I absolutely loved it.

And she is my navigatress, my navigatrix.

-Christopher's got a good voice for a vicar and a pilot, hasn't he?

-He has.

Sky pilot.

Very good. So, Christopher, what are you going to go for on this board?

I'm going for the first one. I'm going to say Sierra.

Sierra, says Christopher.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said Sierra.

-Good answer. 20.

-APPLAUSE

Gets us off to a good start, thank you, Christopher.

Well played, Christopher. Good answer, Sierra.

Before we adopted the Nato alphabet,

the British phonetic alphabet had Sugar for S.

Probably a good thing we changed it.

Sierra is cooler, isn't it?

I think it is. OK, now, Jack, welcome back.

Head-to-head last time.

-Remind us what you do, Jack.

-I'm an international tourism

-management student at Edinburgh University.

-And here you are.

I'm not sure... How many identical twins have we had on Pointless?

-Not many.

-Well, I know it's definitely an even number.

-That's certain.

-LAUGHTER

Certainly true.

Always fun. At what point did you go your separate ways, Jack and Tom?

We actually did our undergraduate degree together in the same

university, same year, so really it's only been about a year or so

that we've been separated and gone our own ways.

Is that quite strange?

-Um...

-It's a relief.

-Really?

LAUGHTER

-No.

-It is a bit strange.

OK, so, Jack, what are you going to go for on this board?

I was going to go for the top one.

And I think the other ones I know are going to be quite high-scoring.

I think I'm going to go for the first name of David and

-Victoria Beckham's second son, which is Romeo.

-Romeo, says Jack.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 said Romeo.

It's right.

-APPLAUSE

-41.

41 for Romeo.

Well played, Jack. David Beckham recently admitted he was refereeing

a charity match that Romeo was playing in

and gave a penalty against him and made him cry.

-Aw. Thanks very much indeed. Now, Sue, welcome.

-Thank you.

-Here from Wrexham.

-Yes.

-And what do you do, Sue?

-I'm a teacher of English in a secondary school.

-Excellent.

And what are your hobbies?

I like amateur dramatics, I enjoy singing, all sorts of things,

really. But the amateur dramatics, probably mostly.

And whose idea was it to come on Pointless?

To be fair, it was both of our ideas. Both of our ideas.

-And Fergus, the obvious choice?

-Obvious choice.

Absolutely. Calm under pressure, perfect.

Now, Sue, what are you going to go for on this board?

Well, I could say I was going to go for the top one but there was

no way I was going to go for the top one cos I don't know it.

But I'm thankful that ballroom dance originating in Buenos Aires

-is hopefully the tango.

-The tango, says Sue.

Let's see if the tango is right and, if it is,

let's see how many people said Tango.

-Oh, phew...

-It's right.

Well, 41's our high score.

-Oh, 58 is our new high score.

-Oh, big score.

Big score.

It is a big score, yeah.

The tango originated in the slums of Buenos Aires,

the slums and bars, in the 1880s.

Mmm. Where would they get the roses from?

-I suppose they grow there as well.

-Yes, they do.

-They do.

-They do.

-I don't want to get all horticultural on you, but, yeah.

-Yeah.

-Lots... They get lots of flowers in other countries.

-Yeah.

-That's good.

-We don't... They're not all exported from us.

-Got trees there, as well.

-Get out.

-It's amazing.

-I don't know if you've ever been to Argentina.

-Really?

-I've never been.

-Got trees, traffic lights...

I went there, they had a bird.

LAUGHTER I couldn't believe it.

Literally, I thought, "You've flown a long way from England." LAUGHTER

-They do.

-Apparently, apparently, they actually live there.

-Did you see its nest?

-Yes.

Oh, all right, OK.

There was an Argentinian flag.

Fair enough.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Louise, welcome to the show.

-Great to have you here. You met at St Andrews, Louise.

-Yes, yeah.

-And what were you studying there?

-International relations.

-What do you do now?

-I work as an overseeing manager for a university.

That's just perfect, isn't it?

Absolutely perfect. And what do you do in your spare time, Louise?

I travel a lot, as much as I can. I also do some art classes, as well.

I do some painting.

-Erm, and, you know, general, films and books and everything.

-Excellent.

Now, you're the last person to have this board, Louise.

If you want to talk us through it

and fill in all the blanks, you certainly may.

I can't fill in the first, the two there

that are missing at the top, but the

bottom two I should definitely know.

St Andrew's Day, that's November,

and the bottom one,

I have been to that tournament,

and it's golf.

I think, perhaps, November would be, for St Andrew's Day,

would be perhaps lower.

So you're going to go for November.

Let's see how many of our 100 people

said November. Is it right?

It is right. Well, 58 is our high score at this point.

Do you pass that?

45. Very well done.

You chose the right one, as well

because Golf was a very big scorer.

Would have scored you 78 points.

-Have you really been to the Masters?

-I have, yes.

-Wow, that's exciting.

That's one of those things

that all sports fans...

It's a lifetime ambition. Was it good?

Yes, it was very good.

We'll talk about this later.

The other...

Now, the two you didn't know.

The tract of sediment...

I only just got this now. Delta, of course.

Delta, yeah, of course it is.

Would have scored 24, and the best

answer on the board by a mile,

the Leona Lewis album was Echo.

That would have scored you 2 points, so very well done if you said that.

Thank you very much. We're halfway through the round.

Let's look at those scores, as they stand.

20, the best score of that pass,

Christopher and Doreen looking very

strong there at this point,

then up to 41,

where we find Jack and Tom.

Up to 45, Louise and Amanda,

and then up to 58,

Sue and Fergus.

You're not miles ahead, Fergus,

but far enough ahead for us

to need a low score from you. So best of luck.

We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put seven more clues up on the board, and here they come.

We have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

-There we are. Amanda, welcome.

-Hi, thank you.

And what do you do, Amanda?

I'm a trainee librarian.

How is that going?

Yeah, it's really good. I work in a college library

and I'm doing my Masters in my spare time, I guess, so...

-OK, so what's the Masters in?

-Librarianship.

Oh, I see. Are there any particular libraries where you want to go

-and work?

-Any, really.

I work in a nautical library just now, which is really interesting

but I really want to go into universities,

so we'll see what happens.

OK, well, good luck with that, and there you are, you're on 45.

The high-scorers at the moment,

are Fergus and Sue on 58, so 12 or less

would definitely get you into the next round.

Yeah, OK.

I know a few of them,

but I think I'm going to go for first name of the French author

who wrote the novel Les Miserables.

-That's Victor Hugo.

-Victor, says Amanda.

Let's see if that's right. Here's your red line.

Quite low.

Get below that, and you're in Round Two,

but let's see how many people said Victor.

It's right.

That's a good answer.

Look at that, down it goes to 20.

65 is your total. Very well done.

Yeah, you'd think that would be enough, wouldn't you?

Very good score, well played. Yeah, he also wrote

-The Hunchback Of Notre Dame, of course.

-Indeed.

Thank you, Richard.

Now, Fergus.

Welcome to Pointless. What you do, Fergus?

-I'm a company director.

-Down in Dorchester.

-In Dorchester.

-What does the company do?

-Logistics, really.

-OK, so it's all freight, is it? That kind of...

-Yeah,

-international parcel deliveries. Exciting.

-Company director, Fergus.

-Yeah, it's a posh title.

-That's a posh...

That's a very mother-in-law compatible job, isn't it?

SHE MOUTHS AND AUDIENCE LAUGHS

You, apparently, were down...

You were almost going to be in Harry Potter, weren't you?

-Yes, I was, yeah.

-What part were you up for?

-Neville Longbottom.

Are you quite grateful that you didn't become Neville Longbottom for

-the rest of time?

-In some ways, yes. In some ways, I am, yeah.

-Oh.

Anyway, listen there you are.

There is a board of Nato phonetic alphabet words, there.

What are you going to go for?

Well, I would have preferred the previous board.

Erm, I think I know all but one of these.

The issue is, I'm not sure whether to go for a punt or not,

but I think I'm going to go for a risk.

I've got no idea if this is right,

but the 2013 crime film,

I'm going to guess Charlie.

Charlie. Well, Amanda's nodding.

I don't know if Amanda knows anything about films

but she is nodding. Charlie. OK, there's your red line.

If you can get below that, you are in the next round.

Let's see how many people said Charlie. Is it right?

Oh...I'm sorry, Fergus...

..and by implication, Amanda.

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer,

scores you 100 points, so takes your total up to 158.

Sorry, Fergus, not Charlie. I'll give you the right answer

at the end of the pass.

Thanks very much, indeed.

-Tom.

-Hiya.

-Tom, great news.

Erm... I was about to call him Charlie, there.

-Fergus has helped you out there...

-Yeah.

-..by getting you through to

-the next round.

-The pressure's off. Very decent of him.

Very decent of him, logistically speaking.

Tom, remind us what you do.

I'm an international management student

at Manchester Metropolitan University.

Now, we discovered last time that you grew up in Geneva.

-Yeah, that's right.

-How did that come about?

My dad got a job out there when we were six years old,

so it was supposed to be for two or three years

-but we ended up settling down there.

-All the way through.

What language did you speak after English?

So, French, cos we did our school in French, and college, et cetera

and then spent a semester in Spain as well, in Madrid,

so got a decent level of Spanish, and we did German at school

-but I can't claim to actually speak it.

-Pretty good, though.

Yeah, as I say,

-you're already through.

-Yeah.

-So, it takes a bit of pressure off.

-but what are you going to go for on this board?

-Erm...

Apart from the Orlando Bloom film, I know all the rest,

but I'm going to have to go for the one that, beyond any doubt, I know,

so, capital city of Peru - Lima.

Lima, says Tom. No red line,

as you're already through.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Lima.

It's right.

68, takes your total up to 109.

Yeah, that's all you needed to do. One of the most popular,

fastest-growing cities in the world, Lima. Amazing food...

Amazing. It's going to be...

I suspect it will be a city that becomes more

and more important as the years go by.

-Well, it's already important if you're a Peruvian.

-It certainly is.

-But as a world city.

-Thank you.

Now, Doreen, a very warm welcome to you.

-Thank you.

-Lovely to have you here.

What do you do, Doreen?

Well, I'm retired, and now I paint.

I'm part of the Worlington Movement.

Now, tell us about the Worlington Movement.

They're trying to get back to painting oils in the style

of the old masters, so that you start off with doing the tones...

-Yeah.

-..and then, when you start bringing in the colours,

you have lots and lots of layers with glazes in between.

So they could be portraits, landscapes,

-anything?

-Absolutely anything.

-It's just a style of applying.

-It's the style.

Excellent. You're all through to Round Two.

-Thank you.

-This is great news, takes a lot of pressure off.

You probably can take us through the board and can fill in those blanks.

I think the Dorian Gray is Oscar.

I don't know the Whitaker one.

Erm, Kilo, Whiskey

and Quebec,

but, which will be the lowest?

-I always get that part wrong.

-THEY LAUGH

I'll go for...

-Quebec.

-Quebec, says Doreen. Let's see if that's right.

No red line, for the lovely reason that you're already through,

but let's see how many people said Quebec.

It's right.

Ooh, that was a good answer. Look at that, Doreen. Very well done.

26 takes your total up to 46,

the lowest total

by quite a distance of the round. Very well done.

-Well played. Doreen and Christopher are good.

-They are good.

-Very good.

And you knew all of them

and you gave us the lowest scorer

as well, so if you're not

good at that at home, you are good at it at in the studio,

which is...

That's the place to be good at it.

So you're right about the unit of mass, that's a kilo.

Would have scored you 52.

And whiskey, of course, the alcoholic drink...

and that would have scored you 48.

The next best answer would have been Oscar,

and that would have scored you 28.

So, Quebec, the best.

Now, this 2013 crime film,

well done if you got this,

it's the lowest scorer.

It's set in South Africa and it's also the name of a much more

famous film from the '60s, starring Michael Caine.

-Zulu.

-Zulu is the answer.

-Zulu, oh.

-Yup.

-I was going to suggest Bravo.

-1 point for that. So, Fergus, it's a

tough one to go for but you'd have

literally had to go all

the way through the alphabet, so a tough one to guess on.

Thanks very much, Richard.

At the end of our first round, the high-scoring pair,

-I'm so sorry.

-Yes.

-Mother-in-law and son-in-law combination, Fergus

and Sue, it's you, 158.

I'm afraid we have to say goodbye to you now.

Good for you for having a punt on that, Fergus,

cos you could have gone through.

I'm sure you could have found a lower scoring answer on that

board that you'd have known, but Pointless likes risk-takers.

So, I hope Pointless will pay you back next time you're on,

with a nice round. Anyway, great to have you on.

Thanks so much for playing, Fergus and Sue.

But, for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And now, we're down to three pairs. Obviously, at the end of this round,

we will say goodbye to another pair in time for

our head-to-head round. Well, congratulations,

Amanda, our joint lowest individual scorer there.

Congratulations to Christopher and Doreen, our total low scorers,

our combined low scorers. And Jack and Tom, well done - just well done.

Good to have you here. Our category for Round Two today is...

Oh...

Film Directors. Can you all decide in your pairs

who is going to go first, who is going to go second?

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

-Actors And Their Directors, Richard.

-Yes, it'll be interesting, this.

People are notoriously poor on directors,

I have to say, whenever directors come up,

so we're going to put that knowledge to the test, now.

We're going to show you a list of four actors in a moment.

We need you to tell us the name of anyone

who has ever directed one of these four actors

in a feature film made for cinema release prior to April 2014, please.

So, anyone who has directed any of the following four actors.

-Very best of luck.

-Thank you very much.

Ooh, this might be a challenge. So, as Richard's mentioned,

we're going to put four names up on the board.

They will remain on the board the whole round,

so we'll go up and come back down the line with those names

not changing halfway through. Let's find out what they are.

Our four actors...

I'll read those again.

We just require the name of any director

who has worked with them on film.

Christopher.

LAUGHTER

-It's not ideal, is it?

-No, it's not.

-No.

Yes, so, I mean, do just take a couple of deep breaths

and think, with...

Sometimes it's not as tricky as it immediately looks.

Well, I'll try this one.

A shot in the dark. Tom Hanks.

Tom Hanks, says Christopher.

Let's see if Tom Hanks is right

and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

-THEY LAUGH

-Bad luck.

Not Tom Hanks, but I saw what you were doing there. I applaud it.

Er, yeah. Not a prolific director, I'm afraid, Tom Hanks.

LAUGHTER But, er...

-It could have happened, though.

-You know what, it could have happened.

-He did...

-Todd Carty has directed some episodes of Doctors.

-He has.

And who's to say that Tom Hanks hasn't directed...

er, James Stewart?

LAUGHTER

-Very late in James Stewart's career and very early in Tom Hanks's.

-Maybe.

Anyway, I'm afraid that scores you 100 points.

-Erm, Tom?

-Yep.

Erm, I know a few. I'm just...

..trying to think of an obscure one.

But no obscure directors are coming to mind,

so I'm going to go with Christopher Nolan.

Christopher Nolan says Tom. Christopher Nolan.

Let's... Several people nodding in the assembled company

at Christopher Nolan. Looks like a good answer, let's see if it's right

and let's see how many people said it.

It is right.

-ALL:

-Ooh!

-APPLAUSE

-It's not just right, it's...it's...

2 right.

Very well done indeed, Tom. 2 for Christopher Nolan.

Well done, Tom. The brilliant British director, Christopher Nolan.

Of course, directed Leonardo DiCaprio in Inception.

Thank you very much indeed.

Now, Amanda.

Ooh, I don't know if I'm going to be able to come up with

anything as good as that.

I'm going to go for Frank Capra.

Frank Capra, says Amanda. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said Frank Capra.

-LOUISE WHISPERS:

-Yes!

-ALL: Ooh!

-Look at that! 3!

-APPLAUSE

-It's a wonderful score.

Well done.

Yeah, that's a lovely answer, Amanda. Very well played.

He directed Jimmy Stewart three times.

Most famously in It's A Wonderful Life.

But also Mr Smith Goes To Washington and You Can't Take It With You.

One of the greatest directors of all time, Frank Capra.

Thank you, Richard. So we're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores. 2, Tom.

Well done. Best score there. Tom and Jack looking very strong

on the back of that.

Then Amanda and Louise on 3. Then, I'm afraid, up to 100, where we

find Christopher and Doreen.

Good luck, Doreen.

-We need it.

-LAUGHTER

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, so remember, Louise, we are looking for the name of any director

who has directed any of these actors in a feature film.

If you can score 96 or less, you are in the head-to-head.

I think I'm going to have to go with erm...

someone I'm a big fan of, erm...

-Baz Luhrmann.

-Baz Luhrmann, says Louise.

-Mm-hm.

-Baz Luhrmann.

Here's your red line. Lovely and high.

Get below that with Baz Luhrmann and you are in the head-to-head.

It's right, very well done.

-APPLAUSE

-11 for Baz Luhrmann.

Takes your total up to 14.

Another good answer, yeah. No problems at all with this round.

He directed Leonardo DiCaprio twice.

Romeo and Juliet and The Great Gatsby.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Jack.

Jack, what are you going to go for? 97 or less gets you through.

Got a few running through my mind. Erm...

I'm going to play it relatively safe and say Danny Boyle.

Danny Boyle, says Jack.

There's your red line.

Get below that and you are through to the head-to-head.

How many people said Danny Boyle?

It's right.

-ALL:

-Ooh!

-APPLAUSE

-Very well done, indeed!

1, our lowest score of the round so far.

Takes your total up to 3.

Well played, Jack. Another very good answer.

Yeah, he directed, of course, The Beach, with Leonardo DiCaprio.

Thanks very much indeed.

Now, Doreen, I'm afraid I have grave news.

Oh.

Er, I'm afraid you are the highest scorers.

Only just. Before you give your answer.

But do you have an answer?

Well, I'll have a guess. But at least I think he'll be a director.

LAUGHTER

I've only ever seen one film.

I think, it's only a guess.

I don't know whether he's anything

to do with any of those.

-James Cameron?

-James Cameron?

James Cameron? Well, let's find out.

Is it right and how many people said James Cameron?

-It's a very good answer, Doreen.

-Ooh!

-Very well done indeed.

-21.

-APPLAUSE

Takes your total up to 121.

Good end to the round.

Well played, Doreen. He directed Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic,

-of course, James Cameron.

-Oh, I didn't know that, but...

We'll cut that bit out and it'll

look like you did.

LAUGHTER

Now, let's take a look at some of the pointless answers.

There's all sorts of them on the board.

You could have said Barry Levinson,

who directed Rain Man, with Tom Cruise.

Bernardo Bertolucci, who did Last Tango In Paris,

which was with Marlon Brando.

Bryan Singer directed Valkyrie, with Tom Cruise.

You could have had Cecil B Demille.

He did The Greatest Show On Earth, with James Stewart.

Gene Kelly, did the Cheyenne Social Club,

that's with Jimmy Stewart, as well.

Michael Mann did Collateral, that's Tom Cruise.

Michael Winner is a pointless answer, though. Directed The Big Sleep.

Richard Donner, who did Superman, and Sam Raimi who did

The Quick And The Dead, which had Leonardo DiCaprio in it.

Well done if you said any of those, terrific answers there.

Some big names as well. Let's take a look at the top three,

the ones that most of our 100 people said when we asked them online.

They said James Cameron, 21 of them did.

22 of them said Martin Scorsese.

And 26 of them said Steven Spielberg.

Thank you very much indeed.

So, at the end of our second round, I'm very sorry to say the pair

heading home with a high score

of 121 is Christopher and Doreen.

Such a strong performance in the first round.

A bit of me is relieved, because, the way it was looking,

I thought you were going to go

straight to the final and we'd

only see you for one show.

No, we didn't want that.

No, we didn't want that, so we'll have you back next show,

which is good news. We'll look

-forward to that.

-Thank you.

In the meantime, thank you for

playing. Christopher and Doreen.

APPLAUSE

But for Louise and Amanda and Jack and Tom,

it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Louise, Amanda, Jack and Tom,

you are now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot, which currently stands...

at £3,500.

APPLAUSE

Well, Jack and Tom, you've done it again.

Head-to-head in two consecutive shows.

You were in exactly this position last time,

but, Louise and Amanda, they've been very strong.

Very strong. I think now you can all put your heads together and combine

your knowledge, I think this is going to be very tight indeed.

Very best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here's your first question and it concerns...

-Famous Rachels. Richard?

-We're going to show you five famous Rachels.

We just need you to tell us the most obscure.

And we need the first name and surname, please.

I wonder what their first names are going to be?

LAUGHTER

Er, let's see who they are. We have...

There we go. Five famous Rachels.

Louise and Amanda, you've been our low scorers, so you'll go first.

I think C is Rachel Johnson.

-THEY WHISPER

-OK. I don't know about the rest,

I think they may just be like sport.

-Maybe a sports star.

-B is Rachel Weisz.

Er, we think that C is Rachel Johnson.

Rachel Johnson, OK.

Rachel Johnson, say Louise and Amanda.

Now, Jack and Tom.

-We're not too good on our Rachels.

-JACK LAUGHS

Do you want to talk us through the board and do some thinking out loud?

It's going to be quite short, we only know B.

That's Rachel Weisz.

OK. You're going to go for Rachel Weisz. We have Johnson versus Weisz.

Louise and Amanda have gone for Rachel Johnson.

Let's see if that's right and,

if it is, let's see how many people said it.

-It's right.

-Yes!

-APPLAUSE

-12.

12 for Rachel Johnson. Very well done indeed.

Jack and Tom have gone for lovely Rachel Weisz for B.

Let's see if that's right and,

if it is, let's see how many people said Rachel Weisz.

-28 for Rachel Weisz.

-APPLAUSE

Which means, well done, Louise and Amanda,

after one question, you are up 1-0.

Very well played. Yep, journalist and author Rachel Johnson there.

Now, A. She's from S Club 7,

that's Rachel Stevens.

That would have scored you 44, that's a big score there.

D is a Pointless answer.

She's the artist and sculptress, Rachel Whiteread.

Turner Prize winner, as well.

Very well done if you said Rachel Whiteread.

And E is the lovely Rachel Riley

from Countdown and many other things.

And she would have scored you 24.

Thanks, Richard. Here comes your second question.

Jack and Tom, you get to answer it first,

but you have to win it to stay in the game, so best of luck.

It concerns...

LAUGHTER

Eels.

-What?

-It concerns eels. It's about eels. Another eels question. Yep.

Yep, we're going to give you five clues now

to facts about shoes that Cockney women wear.

LAUGHTER We just need you to, er...

We're not.

We're going to give you five clues about eels. You need to give us

the most obscure answer. Best of luck. If you didn't think you knew

anything about eels, you're about to find out if you do.

-LAUGHTER

-Thank you very much indeed.

Let's reveal our five clues and here they come.

I will read those all one last time.

-Jack and Tom?

-THEY WHISPER

JACK LAUGHS

It's really not a good category for us.

-Yeah.

-Erm...

-THEY LAUGH

Right, this is going to be a bit of a guess.

The British overseas territory, which is believed to take its name

from the Spanish for eel. It's only cos it sounds Spanish.

We're going to go for Tristan da Cunha.

-Tristan da Cunha?

-Yeah, just cos it sounds Spanish. So that's...

-It sounds Spanish. It sounds kind of eel-ish.

-Yeah.

-Eel-ish.

-So...

-LAUGHTER

-OK, Tristan da Cunha.

-Yep.

-Yeah.

OK, now then. Louise and Amanda,

do you want to talk us through the board?

-THEY LAUGH

-No.

Erm, we think that the top one is jellied eels, but...

It's only because it sounds kind of eel-ish.

LOUISE LAUGHS

We think that the cathedral city is Ely.

ALEXANDER CHUCKLES

-So we'll go for that one. Yeah, Ely.

-You're going to go for Ely?

-Mm.

-OK.

-So we have...

-THEY LAUGH

Tristan da Cunha and we have Ely.

Jack and Tom have gone for Tristan da Cunha.

Let's see if that's right and,

if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

-Ooh, I'm sorry.

-ALL:

-Oh!

I'm sorry. An incorrect answer there,

but Louise and Amanda have gone for Ely.

-Is that a complete punt?

-Yeah.

-Yep.

It just sounds too good to be true. Surely it must be?

-Yeah.

-It must be Ely.

Let's see if it's right and let's see how many people said it.

It is right. Very well done indeed. That's all it had to be.

Yes!

-41.

-Yes!

-APPLAUSE

That's a good punt to take, Louise and Amanda.

Sees you comfortably through to the final.

-2-0 after only two questions.

-Yeah, very well played.

Yeah, the Ely Eel Festival.

I have to say, though, it's an unusual punt to take

when the boys had, so demonstrably, got theirs wrong.

THEY LAUGH

-I think I would have just gone for jellied eels if I were you.

-I know.

You took a big risk. Jellied eels, of course, is right.

Would have scored you 76.

I love that everyone thinks, "I know nothing about eels,"

then the second question comes up, they go,

"Name commonly given to young eels," and say, "Good. I know that one.

-"That's elver." Then it goes, "before becoming elvers."

-Yeah.

-You think, "You're kidding me!"

-Yeah.

-LAUGHTER

They're called glass eels before that.

That would have scored you five points.

Now the British overseas territory, like Ely, it's got eel in its name.

-It's Anguilla.

-Oh.

-Anguilla. Very well done if you said that at home.

Tristan da Cunha is named after Tristan da Cunha, I think.

He was a Portuguese sailor, he was the guy who found it.

Fond of eels, of course, but he was...

LAUGHTER

..just a man. It was only in the 18th century

they worked out that eels were fish. Naturalists didn't know before that.

-They thought they were sea serpents, before that?

-They thought they were

sort of worms. Like some kind of earthworm. Slightly misplaced.

And the region in the North Atlantic...

-..is the Sargasso Sea.

-It is the Sargasso Sea, yep. 14 points.

Thank you very much, Richard. So the pair leaving us at the end

of the head-to-head round, I'm sorry to say, is Jack and Tom.

The second time you've made it through to the head-to-head

and I'm afraid the second time you've left the head-to-head

without a point to your board.

-I'm so sorry, but it's been great having you on both shows.

-Thanks.

Thanks for playing, Jack and Tom.

-Great contestants.

-APPLAUSE

But, for Louise and Amanda, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Louise and Amanda.

You've fought off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £3,500.

APPLAUSE

ALL: Ooh!

-Well, that's quite a nice jackpot, suddenly.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

Very, very convincing win in the head-to-head there. Congratulations.

Anything in particular you'd like to see come up in this last round?

-Literature?

-Yeah.

-History, politics maybe?

-Maybe something...

-some politics, prize-winners, that kind of thing.

-Films. Yeah.

-Stuff like that.

-Mm.

-OK, as you know, you get to choose

from the four options we put up on the board.

Let's hope there's something up there you like the look of.

Today's selection looks like this.

-I think...

-Maybe European triumphs.

-Maybe, cos you're good at history.

-But then...

-BOTH: Works inspired by World War I.

-Maybe not so much?

-Maybe they would...

-I only really know of war poets.

Maybe we would know more about European triumphs on American soil.

-Yeah, not music.

-OK.

They're not great.

OK. Let's go with that. We will go with that, yeah.

-You're going to go with?

-European triumphs on American soil.

European triumphs on American soil. Richard?

OK, three sporting questions for you here. Very, very best of luck.

-We are looking for...

-Oh!

-QUIET LAUGHTER

Any European man who's won the US Open tennis title

from 1968 through to the 2013 tournament.

We're looking for any European winner of the Masters,

which I believe you've been to.

Or we're looking for any European winner of any Grand Prix

held in the United States of America.

Any F1 Grand Prix held there since 1959.

So European winners of the US tennis Open,

European winners of the Masters,

and US Grand Prix winners, Europeans as well.

Very best of luck.

Yeah, very, very best of luck with that.

As always, you've got up to a minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that jackpot

is for just one of those answers to be Pointless.

Are you ready?

-No.

-No!

Erm, yep.

OK, well, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock. There they are.

Your time starts now.

-OK.

-We know. I mean, European,

-that's tricky.

-Just think of...

I'm thinking of lots of Masters.

Dead people?

Trevor Immelman is South African

-and then there's...

-European, though?

-Where does Vijay Singh come from?

-Got no idea.

-Nicklaus?

-Jack Nicklaus?

No, he's... Where's he from?

He's American.

Who's the Scottish one that we were thinking of?

Can't think. I just can't... Ooh, what about French?

Who's a French golfer, that's won the Masters?

Erm...

I can't do it.

I honestly don't know any.

Oh, US Grand Prix, erm...

I don't know. Michael...

Michael Schumacher?

Michael Schumacher, Jackie Stewart

and Nigel Mansell.

They're three drivers. I don't... I don't know.

-Lewis Hamilton, where's he from?

-He's English.

-Oh, OK. Let's go for them.

-OK.

Yeah? At least will have an answer.

-OK.

-OK.

Just the golfer. The Scottish one?

Ten seconds left.

There's one Scottish golfer that's won the Masters.

-I cannot remember his name.

-I don't know.

-I don't know anything about golf.

-Oh!

That's terrible. OK.

OK, that's your minute up.

What three answers can you give me?

-Erm, European winners of the US Grand Prix.

-OK, yeah.

We're going to go for Michael Schumacher.

Michael Schumacher.

-Nigel Mansell.

-Nigel Mansell.

-And Lewis Hamilton.

-And Lewis Hamilton.

Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-They're all really bad.

-They're rubbish.

-Oh, no!

-Erm...

-Mm.

-Lewis Hamilton?

-Lewis Hamilton we put last.

Least likely to be pointless?

-Michael Schumacher.

-Michael Schumacher.

-Yep.

-Yep.

OK, let's pop those answers up on the board in that order.

And here they are.

Well, very best of luck.

-That was a tough one for you, wasn't it?

-Yeah.

Let's hope one of those answers just might be pointless. You never know.

If it were to be, you would win £3,500,

which is a great jackpot to be going home with.

What would you do with that, Louise?

I think we... Well, I would travel.

I think we would go together to Bali. That's our plan.

Very good. OK, well, best of luck, as I say.

Your first answer, Michael Schumacher. In all three cases

we were looking for European winners of American Grand Prix.

Let's see if Michael Schumacher is right.

Let's see how many people said it.

For £3,500, is it pointless?

-AMANDA WHISPERS:

-What do you think?

Well, it's right.

It's right. If Michael Schumacher takes us all the way down to 0,

you leave here with £3,500.

Down it goes through the 20s, into the teens. Still going.

-It's 14. I see.

-APPLAUSE

-A surprise.

-Not bad.

-14. That's not bad.

-That's not bad.

-It's not a bad score by any stretch.

Uh-huh.

-It's not pointless though.

-No.

Only two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your next answer was Nigel Mansell. Going back a little bit there.

Hoping maybe people had forgotten about Nigel Mansell.

Let's hope it's a correct answer, then let's hope nobody said it.

If both of those things happen, you leave with £3,500.

How many people said Nigel Mansell?

Ooh! I'm afraid not Nigel Mansell.

-Never a victor in the US, I'm guessing.

-Aye.

Which means you only have one more shot at today's jackpot.

Your third and final answer was Lewis Hamilton.

This was the one you thought was probably your best shot

at a pointless answer.

-We'll discover.

-THEY LAUGH

It has to be right, then it has to be pointless for you to win

that jackpot. For £3,500, how many people said Lewis Hamilton?

It's right.

Well, Michael Schumacher, your first answer,

took us all the way down to 14.

Your second answer, Nigel Mansell, was incorrect, but Lewis Hamilton...

-Oh!

-Oh!

-34.

-APPLAUSE

Well, you did very well in the face of a really challenging board there.

But unfortunately you didn't manage to find that all-important

pointless answer, so I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £3,500.

That, of course, will roll over onto the next show.

But what a... What a performance.

You can certainly leave with your heads held high.

Very, very well done. And you get a Pointless trophy

-to take home as well, so good for you.

-Right.

APPLAUSE

-Oh.

-Unlucky. I thought the golf question was going to be

-perfect for you.

-No.

-Sorry, it wasn't. You were asking about

-the Scottish golfer who won it.

-Uh-huh.

-That would have scored

-eight points. It was Sandy Lyle.

-Oh, yeah.

Because there's only seven European names on there.

-Still wasn't pointless.

-There's only one pointless answer on the golf one.

I know lots of people have encyclopedic knowledges

of all of these subjects, so well done if you got some of these at home.

Let's take a look at the winners of the US Open.

You could have had Ilie Nastase or Manuel Orantes.

They both won it in the '70s. Both very good answers.

And Marat Safin who won it in 2000. Another very good answer.

They are the only pointless answers there.

As I say, only seven Europeans have won the Masters up to 2014 and

Jose Maria Olazabal was a pointless answer.

You would have thought he was one of the more famous ones.

But it's a terrific answer. Well done if you said it.

And the winners of the Grand Prix. There's a few more of these.

Clay Regazoni, good answer. Francois Cevert.

You could have had Jochen Rindt. You could have had Keke Rosberg.

You also could have had John Watson, who won it twice.

Michele Alboreto also won it twice. And Ronnie Peterson.

-Very well done if you said any of those.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to you, but it's been great

-having you on the show.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

-Thank you for playing.

-Louise and Amanda, very well done.

-APPLAUSE

Well, Louise and Amanda didn't win our jackpot today, which means

it rolls over on to the next show when we will be playing for £4,500.

ALL: Ooh!

Join us to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING