Episode 1 Pointless

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless,

the show where the aim of the game is to score as few points as you can

and you do that by coming up with the answers

no-one else could think of.

Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

Couple number one.

Hi, I'm Lucille, I'm from Surrey and I'm an office manager.

Hi, I'm Geoff, I'm from Surrey and I'm a business analyst.

Couple number two.

Hello, I'm Laura, I'm from Dorset and I'm a PR executive.

And I'm Jane and I'm also from Dorset and I'm a PR consultant.

Couple number three.

I'm Barry, I'm from Cheshire and I'm a graphic designer.

I'm Pete, I'm also from Cheshire and I'm a print manager.

And finally couple number four.

Hi, I'm Bec, I'm from York and I'm a full-time mum.

Hi, I'm Marc, I'm from Leeds and I'm a CGI artist.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

So, that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

He's got the looks of a Hollywood leading man

but the scent of a Grimsby trawlerman.

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard!

Hiya. LAUGHTER

Hi, everybody. Afternoon. APPLAUSE

-Good afternoon to you.

-Good afternoon.

-Are you well?

I'm extremely well, thank you.

-I'm very excited with Marc as a CGI artist.

-Yeah.

First time we've had a CGI artist on the show.

I'll tell you how brilliant he is. I know for a fact he is.

-Do you know how I know for a fact he's brilliant?

-How?

I'm not actually here.

LAUGHTER

I know. I'm currently at home watching Pointless.

I'm going to sit back, relax and enjoy it

and it will look like I'm here.

I'm not saying any of this stuff either.

This has all been done by Dame Helen Mirren.

ALEXANDER CHUCKLES

-She is good, isn't she?

-Thank you.

LAUGHTER

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Well, all our questions on Pointless

have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants here are looking for the obscure answers

those 100 people didn't give.

Of course, everyone's trying to find a Pointless answer,

that being an answer that none of our 100 people gave,

and each time that happens, we will add 250 quid to the jackpot.

Now, Rebecca and Jane won the jackpot last time

so today's jackpot starts off back at £1,000. There it is.

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

All you have to remember, as always,

is that the pair with the highest score at the end of each round

will be eliminated and, of course, there is no conferring.

You knew that. Our first category today is...

It's Fiction.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and our question concerns...

Literary characters in haiku. Don't tell me you haven't read that!

CONTESTANTS LAUGH

-Eh, Richard?

-Yeah, it sounds easy or hard depending on

whether you know what a haiku is.

Essentially, on each board, we've described seven famous characters

from literature but in the form of a haiku poem.

That's five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables.

Just need to tell us the name of the character.

We're also going to give you their initials at the end of the poem.

Seven on each board, 14 in all to have a go at at home.

-Very best of luck.

-Thanks very much indeed.

So, remember, we're looking for the names of these literary characters.

Let's reveal our first set of seven haikus, and they are as follows...

I'll read those all again.

-Lucille, welcome to Pointless.

-Hello.

-Fabulous to have you here.

What do you do, Lucille?

I'm an office manager for a printing company.

There's a lot of printing going on.

It's a very printing and graphic design-led show, this.

-What sort of printing?

-We do a lot of work for fashion houses.

-Fashion houses?

-Yes, fashion houses.

What's the difference between a fashion house

and just a fashion label? Do you have to be quite posh to be a house?

Well, it's more the manufacturers, really,

that we do a lot of work for.

Good stuff. OK. Now, then, what are you going to go for?

-Haikus - do we like the haikus?

-I do, actually.

I was a bit worried when it first came up but I've relaxed a bit now.

It's not so bad, second time I read it through.

Yes, I was all right then.

I'm going to go for "this Cervantes knight" is Don Quixote.

Don Quixote, says Lucille. Let's see if it's right

and let's see how many of our 100 people said Don Quixote.

59.

APPLAUSE

59 for Don Quixote.

Yeah, it's quite a big score, isn't it, for Don Quixote.

-I guess cos of the initials - DQ. Who else is it going to be?

-Yeah.

-Laura, welcome.

-Yes.

-So, what sort of PR do you do, Laura?

All sorts of PR. It could be...

We promote companies all over the world for

-their different products, services.

-Do you do personal PR as well?

-Yes, have done personal PR but mostly product PR.

-I see, OK.

And what do you do when you're not PR-ing?

I actually sing in a duo with my sister.

-Now, that's fun, isn't it?

-It's pretty cool, yeah.

And what sort of songs do you sing?

Pop songs, all the way from sort of '70s to modern day so, yeah,

-hopefully, that will give me some Pointless ammunition.

-Absolutely.

Do you accompany yourselves when you're singing?

-We have backing tracks.

-Very good.

-OK. Now, Laura, haikus.

-OK.

-Don Quixote has gone.

-What else would you like to go for?

-Literature is not good for me.

-I think...

-No, it is good for you, it's been proven.

LAUGHTER

If you say so.

I know one for definite but I think it's going to be so high,

I might just take a gamble.

I'm going to go for the Conan Doyle and say Jim Moriarty.

Jim Moriarty says Laura.

Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Jim Moriarty.

It's right.

Look at that! 21, Laura.

APPLAUSE

Beating Don Quixote into a cocked hat there.

Yeah, well played, Laura.

I think Moriarty, people know, but people having troubles with

the first name - it's James Moriarty or Jim Moriarty.

Supposedly based on a guy called Adam Worth who's buried

in Highgate Cemetery, who was like the real-life Napoleon of crime.

There we are. Now, Barry, welcome.

Now, hang on, so you're also in the print business, aren't you?

-Yeah, I'm a graphic designer.

-What sort of designs do you do?

Basically, the majority of the stuff is packaging,

packaging design, for various companies throughout the Northwest.

-So people who put their brands on bags and boxes and stuff?

-Yeah.

Brilliant. Now, Barry, what are you going to go for?

-I know a couple that are left. I'll go for the Wuthering Heights.

-OK.

Catherine Earnshaw.

-Catherine?

-Earnshaw.

Earnshaw, thank you.

Let's see if that's right and if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Catherine Earnshaw.

Absolutely right. 59 is our high score, you've passed that.

21 our low, you've passed that.

Well done, Barry.

Down to 5 for Catherine Earnshaw.

APPLAUSE

Very well played, Barry, and that one's the other way round -

I think people know the first name, they know she's Cathy,

but Catherine Earnshaw was beyond 95 of our 100.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Now, then, Bec, welcome.

-Hi.

-Welcome to the show. And where are you from, Bec?

-I'm from York.

-From York and you're a full-time mum there?

-I am, yes.

-Shortly to increase your workload, I see.

-Yes. Can you tell?

-That's exciting. Due when?

-In a couple of months.

-Well, best of luck with that.

-Thank you.

-So, what have you got so far?

-I've got a little boy, 22 months, called Freddy.

-Lovely.

And what do you like getting up to in York, Bec?

I tend to do a lot of home produce,

we live on a farm so it's quite a sort of home-grown lifestyle.

-We make pickles.

-So, pickles, I see, vegetables and fruits and things?

-Pickles and jams and...

-And chutneys?

-Yeah.

-Mmm.

My other half mocks me and says that I'm a 1950s housewife throwback.

Nothing wrong with that, it sounds delicious.

Anyway, so what are you going to go for? The board is all yours.

There are four left for you to choose from.

I think I'm going to go for the bottom one.

I'm not 100% sure of his first name

but I think the others are going to be a lot higher in points

so I think it's Gatsby

and I'm going to say John, John Gatsby.

OK, you're going to say John Gatsby. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

-Oh, Bec.

-Oh.

Bec, I'm really sorry, I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer.

Scores you the maximum of 100 points.

Yeah, sorry, Bec, that is a risk when you knew the other ones.

-Actually, the clue is already there to his name, which is?

-Jay.

Jay Gatsby, I'm afraid.

It would've scored you 9 points, would have been a terrific answer.

Eh, the top one, you'll know all of these, I'm presuming?

Yes, it's Fitzwilliam.

Fitzwilliam Darcy. Would've scored you 12 points.

Yep, then it's Ebenezer Scrooge.

Yep, which would've scored 37, so both good scores there, Bec.

-And the other one on the board?

-Hannibal Lecter.

Hannibal Lecter, also quite a low score actually.

Would've scored you 35, so all would have been good answers.

So, best answer on the board, Barry, Catherine Earnshaw. Well played.

Very good indeed. Thanks so much, Richard.

Well, we're halfway through the round,

so let's take a look at those scores.

5, the best score of that round, Barry, very well done indeed.

Then up to 21 where we find Laura and Jane,

59, Lucille and Geoff,

and then 100, Bec and Marc.

-It's not necessarily game over, though, Marc.

-We'll see.

It could be a very tough board, the next one,

but, yeah, try and find a nice low score if you can.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, we're going to put seven more haikus up on the board

and here they come.

We have got...

I'll read them one last time.

-There we are. Marc.

-Hello.

-So, CGI?

-Yes.

-So, what bit do you do?

I work in photographic studio, so we produce room sets,

interiors for high street DIY stores.

I used to be a photographer there and then changed tack

and now I do it all on the computer

so we have to make everything look like a photograph.

Have you ever been to that imaginary restaurant?

The imaginary...?

CGI Fridays.

LAUGHTER

-It looks just like a restaurant, doesn't it?

-Yeah. But it ain't.

-No.

What do you do when you're not doing that, Marc?

I have a six-month-old little boy called Casper

-so he takes up the vast majority of my time at the moment.

-Lovely.

We also have a 1971 VW campervan so we like to get away camping

-and that as much as possible.

-Very nice indeed.

Now, Marc, you know what you have to do here,

you've got to find a nice low score.

Is there one there that's leaping out at you?

I know a couple, they're not going to be low, I don't think,

so I'm going to have to go for the top one, which is Frodo Baggins.

Frodo Baggins says Marc. No red line for you as you're the high scorers.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Frodo Baggins.

It's right.

Well, you're definitely in with a shout.

36. 136, your total.

APPLAUSE

Given yourself a chance there, Marc, well done.

Tolkien's first job after the First World War was

he used to work for the Oxford English Dictionary.

Used to work on W.

-Did he?

-Mm. That's quite fun, isn't it?

-That is quite fun.

Has he got any sort of trademark Tolkienisms in there?

Yeah, it's 400 pages long.

LAUGHTER

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

-Now, Pete.

-Hi.

-Pete, listen, good news, you're through.

-Good.

You're through to the next round.

So, Pete, tell us about your line of work.

I'm also in the printing business and when I left school,

Barry was my boss, when I was on a YTS scheme.

Through the course of our working lives,

there's been about two years in 27 years throughout various companies

that we haven't actually worked together.

I set up on my own and Barry was the first person I turned to

-when I set up.

-See, that's nice, isn't it? So you've become friends.

I mean, on day one, can you remember the first day on your YTS scheme?

I do. I remember my interview and my question was,

-"What football team do you support?"

-Yeah.

Which was Man City, and he said, "What bands do you like?"

And I said, "Well, I like Fleetwood Mac"

and he started singing in the interview,

he was singing Fleetwood Mac songs and going through all of the songs,

saying, "What about this one?" And that was about it.

There was no references, there was no "what grades have you got?"

None of that.

Brilliant. Now, Pete, you're through, which is the good news.

What are you going to go for?

I'm going to take a guess on "attends Lowood School"

-and Jane Eyre?

-Jane Eyre, says Pete.

No red line as you're already through

but let's see how many of our 100 said Jane Eyre.

44. Takes your total up to 49.

APPLAUSE

Well played, Pete.

Yeah, safely through, from Charlotte Bronte's novel.

-Thank you very much indeed. Now, Jane.

-Yes.

-Welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

-So, you run your own PR firm?

-Yeah, I do.

-Down in Dorset?

I do, it's in a place called Highcliffe which nobody

seems to know so I always say it's on the New Forest border,

but I've been running it for three years now.

You should do some PR for Highcliffe. Well, you have just now.

-Yeah, there we go.

-I hear good things about Highcliffe, do you?

-You know the New Forest?

-No.

-And the rest of England?

-Yes.

-The bit between that.

-That's Highcliffe?

-That's where you'll find it.

-Very beautiful area of the country.

How would you get there?

-What would be the best road to get to Highcliffe?

-Oh, don't ask me that.

I came on four trains today. I won't direct you to Highcliffe.

-Actually, it's the A35.

-The A35.

See, the PR person kicked in right at the end there.

Jane, what are you going to go for on this board?

Oh, my goodness me, I just love this round! Which I don't.

But you're on 21, this is great news, you're through,

-so it doesn't really matter.

-Oh, thank goodness.

I didn't want to let Laura down because I was looking

and I thought, "I only know one and it's gone"

and it was Jane Eyre, thanks, so I have no idea.

I'll just make up a real funny one, I'm sorry,

I'd love to guess intellectually.

I'll say Nineteen Eighty-Four is William Short.

William Short. No red line, because you are already through.

Let's see if William Short is right.

SHE CHUCKLES

Surprisingly, I'm afraid,

William Short is not the right answer.

That scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 121.

-Sorry, Jane. Great work on the initials, though.

-Thank you.

-Can't fault her for that, can you?

-Absolutely not, no. Geoff.

-Yes, sir.

-Geoff, welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

Geoff, what do you do?

I'm a business analyst in shipping so I do shipping software.

Shipping software.

For those tankers, the oil tankers, those big beasts.

Yeah, so all the systems on board those things.

Yeah, we look after the safety systems onboard.

-I mean they're colossal, aren't they?

-They're huge.

And people are on them for a long, long time, aren't you?

You cycle from one end to the other if you have a bike

and you actually get to go down on the deck on that.

Good stuff. Now, Geoff, listen, there you are, you're on 59.

-Oh, dear.

-You have to score 76 or less.

-Yes.

So, talk us through this board

and see if you can name any of these haiku people.

Unfortunately, I can't talk you through any on the board

because the two that I knew have gone so, Alexander,

I'm going to have to do a guess.

Marc and Bec are suddenly really back in the game.

Yeah, after this one.

I'm going to be really silly and on the last one,

"Venetian beauty", I'm sure she's Cornish, I'm going to say Demelza.

-Demelza?

-Yes, unfortunately.

-It's a nice name, isn't it?

-It's a lovely name.

-OK.

If Demelza gets you below that red line, you are in Round Two.

Let's see if he will be. Demelza.

Oh, Demelza.

That would've been nice, though, Demelza.

159 is your total cos you score 100 points with an incorrect answer.

-Richard?

-Yeah, sorry, Geoff.

It's the right one to guess for though cos there's only one word

to get wrong. All the others are two words to get wrong.

-Bec, did you know D?

-I did, it's Desdemona.

It's Desdemona, absolutely.

-Demelza, not a million miles away.

-Not a million miles away.

-But a million miles off.

-Yeah.

Certainly begins with the same letter, 27 points for that.

-How are you on the rest of those? A couple of tricky ones.

-Yeah.

-Well, the hitchhiker who goes in his dressing gown?

-Arthur Dent.

Arthur Dent, of course. Would've scored 24.

Let's clear up William Short from Nineteen Eighty-Four.

That is Winston Smith.

Winston Smith, it is. 9 points for that.

The Swedish heroine of The Girl With A Dragon Tattoo is Lisbeth Salander.

Would've scored you 5 points. Do you know the Hardy answer?

-Eustacia Vye.

-Yes, thank you.

And that is the best answer on the board, 2 points.

-Very well done if you said that at home.

-Thank you very much indeed.

Well, at the end of our first round,

the pair who are going to be heading home with their high score

of 159, I'm sorry, Geoff and Lucille, it is you.

Well, listen, we will see you again next time and we look forward

to that but in the meantime, thanks very much, Geoff and Lucille.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

APPLAUSE

Well, so three pairs remain.

Oh, we had two lucky escapes there.

Laura and Jane, phew, and Bec and Marc, very close shave there,

but Barry and Pete - Catherine Earnshaw. Oh!

Apple for teacher there. Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two today is...

World Geography.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is, here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

Capital cities in the Northern Hemisphere. Richard?

Yep, we're looking for the name of any capital city

that lies in the Northern Hemisphere, please.

That's the capital city of any sovereign state that's

a member of the UN in its own right where the capital itself

sits in the Northern Hemisphere.

We won't allow any UK capitals in this round, I'm afraid.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Laura, you looked despairing when this came up.

Well, if literature wasn't bad enough, geography's even worse.

-You have watched this show before, right?

-Yeah!

I'm waiting for the music.

It's a capital city anywhere in half the world.

OK. I'll take a guess and I'll say Budapest.

Budapest says Laura.

Let's see if it's right

and let's see how many people said Budapest.

Not bad.

Still going down, Laura.

14.

APPLAUSE

Well done, Laura.

Capital of Hungary and a hit single for George Ezra as well

so you neatly turned it into a pop music question.

That's where I got it from.

Thanks very much indeed. Barry?

I'm going to go for...Reykjavik.

-That's exactly what I was thinking of.

-I know.

Exactly what I was thinking of, Barry.

Reykjavik. Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Reykjavik.

It's right.

14 our only score at this point,

Reykjavik gets 22.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, it's actually the most northerly capital city in the world,

Reykjavik, which I think is why it scored quite a few points.

-Thank you very much indeed. Now, Marc?

-Yes.

I should know more of these, I really should.

I'm going to go for Tallinn.

Tallinn. Tallinn, says Marc. Let's see if it's right,

let's see how many of our 100 said Tallinn.

It's right. Well, 22 is our high score, which you pass.

14 our low, which you've passed as well. Very well done indeed, Marc.

APPLAUSE

You got 12 for Tallinn.

Yeah, the capital of Estonia, Tallinn. Very well played.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Well, we're halfway through the round.

Let's see where our scores have left us.

Tallinn, best answer of that pass. Well done, Marc, 12.

Then up to 14, Laura. You see?

Budapest - brilliant answer.

And 22 there for Reykjavik.

Punishingly high there, Barry.

I thought that was an excellent answer.

We've got Pete there waiting with a brilliant...

I can see Pete's got a brilliant answer.

So, best of luck with that.

It needs to be a low score though, Pete, to keep you in the game.

We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, so, Bec, remember,

it is any capital city in the Northern Hemisphere.

-Yes.

-OK.

It's not great for me, geography, really.

I think I'll have to go for something reasonably obvious

so I'll go for Oslo.

Oslo. OK, Oslo, says Bec. There's your red line.

Let's see if you can get near or below it with Oslo.

How many people said it?

Not bad. 35, Bec.

APPLAUSE

-47 is your total.

-Yeah, another big scorer, Oslo.

There'll be people at home screaming answers at the TV at the moment.

Thank you. OK, so, Pete. Pete, you have to score 24 or less.

I'm in a situation where I've got a few but I think the one that I'm

thinking of is not going to be good enough so I'm going to say Riva.

Riva? Riva says Pete. There is your red line. Riva.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it.

Ooh, Pete, I'm sorry. I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer.

Scores you 100 points, takes your total up to an unbeatable 122.

Yeah, sorry, Pete.

We'll find out what your other options were at the end of this pass.

OK. Now, Jane, how relieved are you?

Am I doing well?

Were you listening to what just happened?

LAUGHTER

-Pete is on 122. Even if you score 100 points.

-Can I just say anything?

Yeah, but why not?

Come on, see if you can think of a good Northern Hemisphere

-capital city.

-I can't. I'm going to say Dublin.

SHE LAUGHS

Listen, no red line for you for the lovely reason that

you are already through.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Dublin.

33.

47 is your total.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, I'm going to come out and say it. That was just terrible all round.

Really? Half the countries of the world to choose from.

There's over 50 Pointless answers out there as well.

So many Pointless answers on this question, so many.

Let's take a look at a few of them.

Abuja, that's Nigeria. Baku, Azerbaijan.

Beirut, the capital of Lebanon. All of those are Pointless answers.

Could have had San Jose, which is Costa Rica.

San Marino, which is San Marino. Sarajevo, which is Bosnia.

We always say go for Central African Republic and Bangui,

the Central African Republic capital was a Pointless answer.

Ouagadougou, the best-named capital in the world,

Burkina Faso, that was a Pointless answer.

Phnom Penh is a Pointless answer.

Absolutely loads and loads of Pointless answers out there,

not that you would have known from the six answers we were given.

LAUGHTER

Let's take a look at the top three answers,

the ones that most people said.

Berlin would have scored you 54.

Madrid, 59.

At least you managed to avoid all of these.

And right at the top, Paris, with 82.

-Now, Pete, you said Riva.

-I know.

As soon as I said it, I realised what I said.

-And you were thinking of the capital of Latvia which is...Riga.

-Riga.

And that would've scored you 9 points,

would've been the best answer of the round as well.

One letter out.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. So, at the end of our second round,

I'm afraid the pair who are heading home, Pete and Barry.

Very, very strong start from you so I have a feeling

we can expect great things when we see you next time.

We'll look forward to that very much indeed but in the meantime,

thanks very much, Pete and Barry.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

But for Laura and Jane, Bec and Marc,

it's now time for our head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Well, congratulations, Laura and Jane, Bec and Marc,

you are now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot which currently stands at £1,000.

There it is.

OK, we have to decide who's going to go through to the final

and play for that jackpot and we do that by making you go head-to-head.

The first pair to win two questions will be

playing for that £1,000 jackpot.

The difference, of course, is now you are allowed to confer

before you give your answers, which is fun.

I'm just trying to work out who might have the advantage here

because I think you're pretty evenly matched.

You had identical scores in that last round, by the way.

Very interesting.

And we had an incorrect answer, we had John Gatsby,

we had William Short.

THEY LAUGH

And you both seemed to be taking a bit of a punt

in the last round as well so who knows?

It's going to be very, very exciting is what I'm saying.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

OK, here comes your first question and it concerns...

-There you go, Laura. Robbie Williams singles.

-No pressure.

We're going to show you five images now that relate to words

in the titles of Robbie Williams Top 40 singles.

We're also going to give you the year it was a hit as well.

Can you tell us what these singles are, please?

Thanks very much.

Let's reveal our five visual clues and here they come.

We've got...

There you go.

Laura and Jane, you will go first.

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

We've got a couple we think we know but we're going to go for A

-and we're going to say Candy.

-Candy. Candy, say Laura and Jane.

So, Bec and Marc, the board's all yours. Talk us through them.

That was going to be our answer.

B is obviously Angels, C is Millennium.

-The other two, we're just not sure.

-Yeah, go for one of the others.

We'll have to go for C, Millennium.

OK, Millennium. So, we've got Candy and Millennium.

Now, Laura and Jane said Candy. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Candy.

35.

APPLAUSE

Bec and Marc have gone for Millennium for C.

Let's see if that's right and if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Millennium.

It's right.

47 for Millennium. Not bad, actually, quite close.

But Laura and Jane, you win that one there.

So, after one question, Laura and Jane are up one-nil.

Yes, D and E were the best answers up there.

We'll look at B, you knew it was Angels,

and it's a big scorer as well - 72 points for Angels.

D was a hit he had with the Pet Shop Boys and it was called She's Madonna.

And it's the best answer on the board. Would've scored you 3 points.

And E, do you know what E is?

He had a Top 10 hit with Tripping.

Tripping, 11 points for that.

Thanks very much indeed. OK, so here comes your second question.

Bec and Marc, you get to answer this one first so you need to win it.

It concerns...

Mastermind. Richard?

We're going to show you five clues now

to facts about the long-running quiz show Mastermind.

Can you give us the most obscure answer?

OK, let's reveal our five clues and here they come.

I'll read those one last time.

Bec and Marc.

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

OK, we know a couple. We're going to go for the third one,

the programme's original presenter, which is Magnus Magnusson.

Magnus Magnusson say Bec and Marc.

So, Laura and Jane, over to you, talk us through the board.

Oh, yeah, OK. The colour of the chair? Is it black? I don't know.

-That's not my answer. The decade?

-I don't remember, do you remember?

-No.

-We're going to go for, I think... Shall we?

-Yeah.

We think Fred Housego was a taxi driver.

Fred Housego, taxi driver, say Laura and Jane. Let's find out.

So, Bec and Marc have gone for Magnus Magnusson.

Let's see if that's right for the original presenter

and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

59.

APPLAUSE

59 for Magnus Magnusson.

Now, then, Laura and Jane have said that Fred Housego was a taxi driver.

Let's see if it's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It is right.

And it wins you the point, look at that! 46.

Very well done indeed.

That means, Laura and Jane, after only two questions,

you're through to the final, two-nil.

-How on earth did you manage to get into the final, Jane?

-I don't know.

Laura doing an awful lot of heavy lifting on this show.

Well done, though. The colour of the chair is, of course, black.

Very big score though, would've scored you 78 points.

Do you know Magnus Magnusson presented that show for 25 years?

Now, the decade, would you have gone for that, Bec and Marc?

-'60s.

-'70s, actually, I bet a lot of people said '60s.

1972 was the first broadcast. So, '70s would've scored 34 points.

And the show's famous theme tune?

We used to think it was frightening when we were little,

we used to be quite scared. It's very powerful.

It's called Approaching Menace.

It's very apt, isn't it? That would've scored you 8 points.

-I don't know if our theme tune has a name.

-It has now.

-Approaching Teatime.

-Ah!

LAUGHTER

Let's call it that, "Approaching Teatime".

Can we officially call it that?

-Excellent.

-Brilliant. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, I'm afraid the pair who are heading home

at the end of our head-to-head round, Marc and Bec.

Oh!

Well, you did get two correct answers but they were

just...just, just pipped in each case by Laura and Jane's.

-But the good news is we get to see you again next time.

-Yes.

So we'll look forward to that very much indeed.

But for Laura and Jane, it's time for our Pointless final.

APPLAUSE

Well, congratulations, Laura and Jane.

You've fought off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

-Oh, yay!

-Yes!

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

which at the end of today's show stands still at £1,000.

There it is.

-Well, who would have thought?

-Who would have thought?

-Back in round one...

-Dublin and...

-Yeah.

No, Dublin was one of your correct answers, Jane.

You've got to learn that one.

-We can't believe that.

-You've got the trophy.

Hey, YOU can't believe it (!)

LAUGHTER

What do you mean? Hey, you! You're supposed to be on your side.

As always, you get to choose your category for this round

and we'll have some choices on the board behind me.

Let's see what they are.

Four of them.

-It's definitely not science.

-And sport, and I can't stand cats.

Sorry, everyone that's got cats.

-Musical Davids?

-Yeah, Musical Davids.

-Musical Davids.

The best kind of David - Musical Davids. OK, Musical Davids it is.

-Richard?

-OK, very best of luck, three different questions here.

We're looking for any UK Top 40 single up to

May 2015 released by any of the following Davids, please.

We're looking for any Top 40 single released by...

And double A-sides, we'll count either answer as separate.

Very, very best of luck. Good luck at home as well.

Now, as always,

you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers and to

win that jackpot, all you need to do is find just one Pointless answer.

-OK.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

-Yeah.

OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are, your time starts now.

OK, let's start with David Essex. Winter's Tale?

-Make You A Star, that's too obvious.

-Yeah, they're too obvious.

I don't know that many David Essex songs.

David Soul, Don't Give Up On Us, Baby, but that might be obvious.

-I don't even know who he is.

-You don't know who he is?

-I don't.

-David Gray - Babylon, everyone will get that.

-Everyone knows Babylon.

-Think, think.

-David Essex is going to be...

David Essex, only A Winter's Tale. What was the motorbike one?

-He did that film, um... Stardust?

-Come on.

David Essex... # Hold me close... #

I'm not allowed to sing. Hold Me Close, I think.

Only A Winter's Tale but I think people are going to know those.

-What else did David Essex sing?

-I'm trying to think David Gray.

-And David Soul, Don't Give Up On Us, Baby.

-We'll go with that.

Right, we'll go with Don't Give Up On Us, Baby.

-Go with the David Essex one.

-David Essex, A Winter's Tale.

Ten seconds left.

Think of the musical, the songs that were in the musical.

-Oh! Oh, the Fun at the Fair thing!

-Yes, yes.

-Uh! What was that?

I don't know.

Oh, I'm afraid your time is now up.

I now need your three answers. What are you going to go for?

Oh, it's so tough, but David Essex, I think A Winter's Tale.

-OK, A Winter's Tale for David Essex.

-Yeah.

-What was the David Soul?

David Soul was Don't Give Up On Us, Baby.

-Don't Give Up On Us, Baby, David Soul.

-And another David Essex?

Hold Me Close. Oh, that's going to be so high.

Hold Me Close, David Essex. OK, so there we are.

Of those three, which is your best shot at a Pointless answer,

do you think?

-A Winter's Tale, do you think?

-Yeah.

-OK, A Winter's Tale we'll put last.

-Least likely to be Pointless?

-Probably Hold Me Close.

-Hold Me Close we'll put first.

-Yeah.

OK, well, we'll pop those up on the board in that order.

And here they are. We've got...

Now then, if you win this, if you win this jackpot of £1,000,

what will you do with it?

Laura first.

OK, well, if we split it down the middle, that will be just enough

to pay for the repairs on my car that I bashed into a wall last week.

Yes.

-So, yeah.

-That's exciting, isn't it? Wahey!

-Yay!

Get the dents knocked out. Jane?

Oh, this is going to be on my vintage garden that I'm working on.

I'm making it all shabby-chic with pretty pots and...

-A shabby-chic vintage garden?

-Yeah.

-What's the difference between that and a tip, essentially?

-No!

LAUGHTER

-Good point.

-I mean seriously, shabby-chic vintage garden.

-I'll make it pretty.

-Very fashionably long, the grass.

It'll have bunting and pretty pots and chimneys.

Ah, lovely. OK, so we're going for Hold Me Close as your first answer.

We're looking for David Essex Top 40 singles.

If this is Pointless, it will win you £1,000. So, let's find out.

Let us find out how many of our 100 people said

Hold Me Close for David Essex.

Well, down it goes.

If this goes all the way down to zero, you leave here with £1,000.

It's going down through the 20s, through the teens.

Oh, 12.

Not bad at all.

APPLAUSE

And listen, you thought that was going to be your most obvious one.

-Yeah.

-Unfortunately not a Pointless answer, but still 12,

really not at all bad.

-Only two more shots at today's jackpot.

-Yeah.

Your next answer was Don't Give Up On Us, Baby, in this case,

we were looking for David Soul Top 40 singles.

Let us find out if this is Pointless

and if it is, you will leave here with that jackpot of £1,000.

How many of our 100 people said Don't Give Up On Us, Baby?

It's right.

Well, your first answer, Hold Me Close,

took us all the way down to 12.

Don't Give Up On Us, Baby now going down through the 30s,

down through the 20s...

to 20.

APPLAUSE

-That was never going to be your Pointless answer, was it?

-BOTH:

-No.

That was never going to be a Pointless answer.

-Nor is the next one.

-What do you mean?

-Well, we'll try.

I think it's OK, A Winter's Tale.

Nice low-scoring answer, maybe, could be Pointless.

Remember, we're looking for David Essex Top 40 singles again.

Let's see, A Winter's Tale, your most confident answer.

If it is Pointless, you will win that jackpot of £1,000.

That dent - gone. Shabby-chic - more stuff in the garden.

Let's find out if A Winter's Tale is Pointless. How many people said it?

It's right. Your first answer, Hold Me Close, took us down to 12.

Your second answer, Don't Give Up On Us, Baby, took us down to 20.

Oh! Down to 9!

APPLAUSE

-Not bad.

-Not bad at all.

Listen, three correct answers, which...that sometimes is a rarity.

So there we are.

I'm afraid you didn't manage to find that all-important Pointless answer

so I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £1,000.

That will roll over onto the next show

but you have been fantastic contestants.

It's been wonderful having you on the show

-and you both get to take home a Pointless trophy.

-Oh, I know!

-So there we are.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, you've been great fun, Laura and Jane. Thank you so much.

David Essex was the way to go for the Pointless answers, actually,

that's where most of them are in this category.

Some of the ones you mentioned,

Going To Make You A Star would have scored you 9 points.

The motorbike song I think you're thinking of was

Silver Dream Machine which would've scored you 4.

And there's also Oh, What A Circus which would have scored you 3 points.

Let's take a look at the Pointless answers in that category, though.

Cool Out Tonight was a Pointless answer.

Me And My Girl (Night Clubbing) that was a Pointless answer.

Rollin' Stone, Tahiti.

Also could have had America, City Lights, Coming Home.

You could have had Fallen Angels Riding, Imperial Wizard

and he also had a hit with Catherine Zeta-Jones,

True Love Ways was a Pointless answer.

Very well done if you said that.

David Gray. As you say, Babylon would have scored you far too many points.

Please Forgive Me, yeah,

he did a cover version of Say Hello Wave Goodbye,

the Soft Cell song, a very good cover version actually,

and The One I Love also a Pointless answer.

And David Soul, there was actually only one Pointless answer.

Silver Lady was the biggest scorer for David Soul

but his one Pointless answer was...

..It Sure Brings Out The Love In Your Eyes.

-Of course. Everybody sing along.

-That one.

Well, unfortunately, we do have to say goodbye to you,

Laura and Jane, but we have loved having you on the show,

you've been fantastic contestants.

Thank you so much for playing. Laura and Jane.

APPLAUSE

Well, Laura and Jane didn't win our jackpot today which means

it rolls over onto the next show when we will be playing for £2,000.

APPLAUSE

Join us next time to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE