Episode 16 Pointless


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Transcript


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-APPLAUSE

-Thank you very much indeed.

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Hello, I am Alexander Armstrong.

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A very warm welcome to Pointless, the show where

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obvious answers mean nothing and obscure answers mean everything.

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Let's meet today's players.

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And couple number one.

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Hi, I'm Lizzie. This is my dad, Simon.

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He is a retired police officer. I am a doctor, currently working

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as an artist. We are both from Stockton, but I live in Norwich.

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-Couple number two.

-Hiya, I'm Rebecca.

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And this is my best friend, Vickie.

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I'm from Liverpool and she is from London.

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And we're both masters students at Queen Mary University.

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-Couple number three.

-I am Jill. This is my colleague, Stephen.

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I am from Kingston, he is from Epsom.

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And we both work for Diabetes UK.

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And finally, couple number four.

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Hello, I'm Steve. This is my wife, Gail. We are both from Perth.

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Gail is a learning assistant and I'm a press photographer.

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And these are today's contestants.

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APPLAUSE

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Thanks very much.

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We'll find out more about you throughout the show as it

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goes along. That just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

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He has got more revelations than 1,000 Bibles.

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It is my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

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APPLAUSE Hiya. Hi, everybody. Good afternoon.

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-How are you this afternoon?

-I am very well, thank you.

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-A lovely show, the last one.

-Wasn't that nice?

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Really, really enjoyed it.

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And Simon and Lizzie played their part in it as well.

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Really terrific show.

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Simon and Lizzie, they came up against Brian

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and Mags in the head-to-head.

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Brian and Mags beat you, I think, by 2 points.

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I have some good news and bad news, I'm afraid.

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-The bad news is Brian and Mags won the jackpot.

-Oh!

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-Good on them.

-But the good news is,

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they promised to spend some of the money on buying a puppy.

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So... LAUGHTER

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Who can begrudge them that? Who can begrudge them that?

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Lovely to have three new pairs with us today.

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It should be an absolute cracker. The first round...

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Yeah, I don't know. I don't know.

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Some people are going to love it. Some people...

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Some people are going to love it, some people might go wrong,

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some people are going to fluke it.

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That is what I will say on the first round. It's flukeable.

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-It's flukeable.

-Round One.

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That is good news, Lizzie. It is flukeable.

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-Here's hoping.

-Looking forward to it. Thank you very much, Richard.

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Now, Brian and Mags, as you've gathered,

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won the jackpot last time, so today's jackpot starts off

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back at £1,000. There it is.

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Right, if everyone is ready, let's play Pointless.

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Now, just remember, the pair with the highest

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score at the end of each round will be eliminated.

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Also remember, there is to be no conferring before we get

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to the head-to-head round.

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Our first category for Round One today is...

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It is flukeable, the man says. It is flukeable.

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Can you all decide in your pairs

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who's going first, who's going second?

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And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

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OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

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We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

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Nations that have had a player who has scored a Premier League goal.

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-Richard.

-We are looking for the name of any international football nation

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who've had a player affiliated to them who has ever scored

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in the English Premier League,

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from the beginning of the Premier League through to

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October 2014. Any nation that plays international football who've

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had a player who's scored in the Premier League, according to Opta.

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It is a sports statistics service.

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Worth noting - for once by country we don't mean a sovereign state

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that is a UN member in its own right.

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They are nations who play international football, so

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there will be some nations there that we don't normally count as countries.

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-Yeah, that's nice. That's fun.

-Yeah, you see?

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Yeah. What about that!

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There we go. Thank you, Richard.

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Now, Simon, I think you are going to be all right on this anyway.

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But it is quite fun as a global question anyhow.

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Now, last time, Simon, tell us what happened.

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Ice Cream Gate.

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Ice Cream Gate, as they are already evidently calling it

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in Stockton-upon-Tees.

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We went for probably the least favourite ice cream,

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but unfortunately, it was the easier anagram.

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You see, that is the trouble. That comes into play.

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Pistachio, of course.

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Perhaps not as well known as raspberry ripple, for example.

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So, Simon, what do you think you are going to go for?

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There must be some pointless answers out there.

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Right. I'm going to gamble on a Stoke City player.

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Now, I know he scored in the World Cup,

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but I am not 100% positive about the team.

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And I'm going to go with Peter Odemwingie

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-and gamble on Nigeria.

-Nigeria.

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Nigeria, says Simon. OK, the gamble is on that particular player.

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There might be lots of other more obvious players from Nigeria,

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but let's see. Nigeria is what Simon is going to for nonetheless.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said Nigeria.

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It's right.

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APPLAUSE

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-6 for Nigeria, Simon. Good start to the round.

-Good start, Simon.

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Yeah, a rich history of Nigerian scorers

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in the English Premier League.

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The very first one - Efan Ekoku, who scored for Norwich City in 1993.

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Thanks very much indeed, Richard. Now, Rebecca, a warm welcome to you.

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So you are at University of London.

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-Yeah.

-You're reading maths?

-Maths, yeah.

-What year are you in?

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-My last year.

-Have you had your exams yet?

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I've had five, I've got another three to go.

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-Hang on, five plus three.

-How many is that?

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LAUGHTER

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-Yeah, I've got eight.

-Yeah, you passed! You passed!

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Yes, a starred first.

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What else have you been doing apart from maths? What has been

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keeping you happy?

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I love all the theatre in London. I am a big musical fan.

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-Really? What is your favourite musical?

-Wicked.

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How many times have you been to it?

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People always see musicals lots of times.

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-How many times have you seen that?

-Quite a lot.

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Is it obsessive or quite worrying?

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-Quite worrying.

-How many? Can I guess?

-Um...

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-Have you been more than 30 times?

-Yes. Yeah.

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-AUDIENCE:

-Oooh!

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-Have you been more than 40 times?

-Yeah.

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I think that is going out of quite worrying. This is pathological.

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-Over 50 times?

-Yeah, 57.

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-Wow.

-Wow!

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-Wow, you LOVE musicals, don't you?

-Yeah.

-Good.

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-Do you get free tickets after you have been that many times?

-No.

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-Do they not remember you in the box office?

-No.

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Yeah, they do, they pull the shutters down the minute

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they see you coming.

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That is good. Now, Rebecca, what are you going to go for?

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Looking for any...

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I mean, it is sort of a geographical

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question as much as anything, really.

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Yeah. I am not really a football fan.

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You are a fan of the world.

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I suppose so.

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I'm going to go with Argentina.

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Argentina, says Rebecca.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said Argentina.

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It is right.

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6 is our only score so far.

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29 for Argentina.

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APPLAUSE

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Yeah, again, lots of famous Argentinians.

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Sergio Aguero probably the most famous Argentinian scorer.

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Horacio Carbonari for Derby was the first Argentinian to

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score in the Premier League.

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Very good. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

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Now, Jill, welcome to Pointless. What do you do, Jill?

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I am a regional manager for Diabetes UK.

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And what does that entail?

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I manage a team but I also influence the NHS to do better services

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for people with diabetes.

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Oh, I see. So it's not so much fundraising.

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That is actually making sure that people are...

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I go out and talk to the clinical commissioning groups

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and the diabetes specialist teams

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and try and encourage them to do better.

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-Do you enjoy it?

-Yeah, most of the time. It is really good.

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And it is a lot of variety. I work with volunteers as well.

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So it is really enjoyable.

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So a really good network of relationships you must

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have around your region.

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Now, Jill, how are we feeling about football in general?

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Well, I'm going to say a country that I think is good at football.

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I don't really know if they have got anyone in the Premier League.

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So I'm going to say Cameroon.

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I knew you were going to say that!

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I just knew. It appeared in my head. Anyway, Cameroon, says Jill.

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Let's see if it is right. Let's see how many people said it.

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It is right. A good answer, Jill.

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29 is our highest score at this point.

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I think you pass that. Yes, you do.

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6 is our low. You pass that as well!

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Jill,

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I salute you, our new low score.

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Yeah, as I say, it has been going a long time, the Premier League,

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and it really is a league of nations. It has been for a very long time.

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Eminently flukeable, this round, I would say.

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Now, Gail, welcome to Pointless. Great to have you here from Perth.

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-And you are teaching assistant?

-Yes.

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What sort of teaching do you assist with?

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Well, I actually work in Perth Prison.

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So I work in the learning centre there.

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And I give information about courses and enrolments.

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Well, good for you.

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And when you are not doing that, Gail, what keeps you going?

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We like to travel and like going on long walks.

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-That's a kind of travelling.

-Music. Comedy shows.

-Very good.

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Have you travelled to any football-playing countries?

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Do you follow football?

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Not really, no. But I am sure I have.

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I had a couple of ideas,

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but I think they are going to be quite high-scorers.

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So I'm going to take a risk. I'm going to say Chile.

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Chile, says Gail. Sounds good to me.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said Chile.

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Let's see if it is right, of course.

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It's right.

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Well, 29 is our high score, you pass it.

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5 is our low score. You don't quite make it

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there, but that is not bad at all.

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8 for Chile.

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Well played, Gail. Yeah, again, a number of Chilean goal scorers.

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Javier Margas for West Ham was the first.

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Thanks very much, Richard.

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Well, we are halfway through the round. Let's look at those scores.

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5, Jill. Very well done indeed.

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5, the best score. Cameroon, see?

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The best answer given so far.

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Then we travel up to 6,

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where we find Simon and Lizzie.

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And then up to 8, where we find Gail and Steve.

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And then 29, Rebecca.

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I mean, really, it seems terribly unfair. You and Vickie

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find yourselves on 29.

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So, Vickie, you know, what we need from you

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is a really amazing low score.

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And maybe that will keep you in the game.

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We'll come back down the line.

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Can the second players please step up to the podium?

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OK, so, Steve, remember, we are looking for any nation that

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has had a player score a goal in the Premier League.

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Steve, welcome.

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-Now, you are a news photographer.

-Yes, that's right.

-See, that's fun.

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-That is a good old-fashioned job, isn't it?

-Yeah, it's fun.

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You know, it is like any job, it has got good days and bad days.

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Yeah.

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-And does someone call you up and say you've got to get somewhere?

-Yeah.

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Or do you take your own initiative quite often?

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No, usually I get about a two-second head start on the job.

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I usually get a diary. I think I've planned out my day

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and then a phone call will drop in and spoil it.

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What is the most exciting scene you have been on?

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In terms of events, I quite enjoy covering music events.

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-Sporting events.

-Good stuff.

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Steve, you are on 8. Our high-scorers at the moment

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are Rebecca and Vickie on 29.

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So if you can score 20 or less, you are through to the next round.

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-Hopefully, I am playing relatively safe.

-Don't play too safe.

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Well, it is a slight gamble.

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Hopefully, not too much of one. I am going to say South Korea.

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South Korea, says Steve. South of Korea.

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A little murmur of appreciation from our audience. They like that.

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Now, there is your red line.

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Get below that was South Korea, Steve, you are definitely

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in the next round. How many of our 100 people said South Korea?

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It's right.

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You are through to the next round.

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It scores 3!

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Lowest score of the round so far, Steve.

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Very well done indeed. Takes your total up to 11.

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Well played.

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The first South Korean to score was Park Ji-sung for Man United in 2006.

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-Thanks very much, Richard. Stephen.

-Hello.

-A very warm welcome to you.

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-Here from Epsom.

-Yes.

-And you also work for Diabetes UK.

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Yes, but I work in fundraising. I am a fundraising administrator.

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I see. OK, how many events do you look after every year?

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-I work with more of the community.

-I see.

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-I help support the local fundraisers.

-I see.

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By providing the admin in the background.

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I see what you are saying.

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And what do you do when you're not doing that, Stephen?

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Watching comedy films, cooking programmes.

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I love a cookery programme.

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-Do you cook yourself?

-Yes. When I can, yeah.

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Have you ever watched something on the cookery programme

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-and actually downloaded a recipe from it and done it?

-Yeah.

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-See, that is impressive.

-Tried.

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Tried! Very good indeed.

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OK, now then, Stephen, you are on 5.

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Amazing low score from Jill in the first pass.

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If you can score 23 or less...

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I know, it's trying to live up to that.

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There must be some pointless answers, surely.

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There must be one or two.

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I'm going to try and take a risk because I have had an inkling.

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I am going to try Costa Rica.

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Costa Rica. Costa Rica, there is your red line.

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If you can get below that, Stephen, you are through to the next round.

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Let's see how many people said Costa Rica.

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It's right.

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Through you go...

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Look at that, 1!

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You have beaten Jill.

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Takes your total up to 6.

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Very, very well done indeed.

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-The lowest total of the round, I suspect.

-Great answer, Stephen.

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Yeah, the first Costa Rican scorer was Paulo Wanchope.

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He went on to score 50 goals in the Premier League.

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Of course, more impressively, Bryan Ruiz of Fulham.

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LAUGHTER

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Still with Fulham. Not in the Premier League any more.

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-AUDIENCE:

-Aw!

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I know. I know.

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-Aaaw! Sadder than that.

-Yeah.

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Thanks very much, Richard. Now, Vickie. Anything could happen.

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Anything could happen. Lizzie looks all right but a bit nervous.

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I am just going to pass that on to you. That is what I am seeing

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from here. So she may or may not have a brilliant answer,

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but we definitely need a brilliant answer from you.

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Vickie, you are also a maths student?

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-Yep.

-Just about to graduate?

-Mm-hm. Yeah.

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Have you made plans for the future?

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I am going to go full-time at my part-time job at the minute,

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-just doing accounts there and stuff.

-Where is that?

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It is an estate agent's near NE16.

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Very good. So you have got a job lined up there.

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So, Vickie, on 29,

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you really ideally want a pointless answer at this stage.

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-I like football.

-Yeah.

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But my geography is shocking.

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Um... I'm going to have to go a bit risky.

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There are some definite ones that I know, but I am going to stick

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with the South American thing and I am going to go Venezuela.

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Venezuela, says Vickie. Sounds good to me. Venezuela.

0:14:580:15:01

No red line for you, Vickie, as you are the high-scorers,

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but let's see how far down the column you get with Venezuela.

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It's right.

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That is pretty much exactly what we needed from you.

0:15:180:15:22

-Takes your total up to 30.

-Great answer, Vickie.

0:15:220:15:24

In fact, the first Venezuelan to score in the Premier League

0:15:240:15:27

wasn't until 2014.

0:15:270:15:29

And that was Fernando Amorebieta, who played for...?

0:15:290:15:33

Fulham, there we go.

0:15:330:15:35

-It's all gone Fulham, suddenly.

-Yeah, there we go.

-Yeah.

0:15:350:15:38

Thank you, Richard. Thank you. Now, Lizzie. Now then, Lizzie.

0:15:380:15:43

What a performance we had last time.

0:15:430:15:45

Straight through to the head-to-head.

0:15:450:15:48

-We might not be doing it again.

-We've got to be hoping to get

0:15:480:15:50

to the head-to-head and beyond this time.

0:15:500:15:53

-Yeah.

-Remind us what you do, Lizzie.

0:15:530:15:55

I am a qualified doctor, but I am currently on a break.

0:15:550:15:57

-I have just had a daughter and I am working as an artist.

-There we are.

0:15:570:16:01

-Now, you are on 6. Ideally, 23 or less.

-OK.

0:16:010:16:05

-I'm taking a bit of a gamble.

-Yes.

0:16:070:16:10

-I am going to say Uruguay.

-Uruguay.

-Yeah.

0:16:100:16:13

This South American thing, I think, is just going to run and run.

0:16:130:16:16

It is fantastic. Uruguay, sounds good to me.

0:16:160:16:18

So far, South America has scored very low. There is your red line.

0:16:180:16:21

Let's see if you can get below that with Uruguay.

0:16:210:16:24

It's right.

0:16:260:16:27

You are through.

0:16:310:16:32

9 for Uruguay.

0:16:320:16:34

APPLAUSE

0:16:340:16:36

Very well done indeed. Takes your total up to 15.

0:16:360:16:39

Sees you comfortably through.

0:16:390:16:41

Yeah, Diego Forlan, Luis Suarez...

0:16:410:16:43

Adrian Paz was the first one ever for Ipswich Town.

0:16:430:16:46

But, yeah, lots of Uruguayans in the Premier League.

0:16:460:16:49

There is almost 90 answers on this round.

0:16:490:16:52

Lots and lots of answers. Loads of pointless answers as well.

0:16:520:16:55

I'll tell you a country where no-one has ever scored

0:16:550:16:57

a Premier League goal.

0:16:570:16:58

-BOTH:

-Central African Republic.

-Yeah. Incorrect answer.

0:16:580:17:02

Now, the pointless answers. We will look at a few on the board.

0:17:020:17:06

Angola. Manucho was the first one.

0:17:060:17:08

Antigua and Barbuda - Dexter Blackstock.

0:17:080:17:10

Greg Goodridge scored for QPR, Barbadian.

0:17:100:17:13

Benin. Stephane Sessegnon of Sunderland is from Benin.

0:17:140:17:17

Bermuda - Shaun Goater. "Feed the Goat, he will score."

0:17:170:17:20

Congo - Chris Samba.

0:17:200:17:22

You could've had Democratic Republic of Congo.

0:17:220:17:25

Macedonia - Gjorgji Hristov.

0:17:250:17:28

Gabon - that's Daniel Cousin. You also could've had

0:17:280:17:30

Grenada, Guinea, Guyana, Honduras, Iran, Israel, Liberia, Mali,

0:17:300:17:35

Montenegro, Montserrat, St Kitts

0:17:350:17:38

and Nevis, Sierra Leone, Slovakia, Suriname and Zimbabwe.

0:17:380:17:41

They were all pointless answers. Let's take a look at the top three.

0:17:410:17:45

The ones that most of our 100 people said.

0:17:450:17:47

Let's see who beats England.

0:17:520:17:54

France beat England.

0:17:550:17:57

There we go. Thanks very much, Richard.

0:17:570:17:59

So again, in our first round, the pair heading home with their -

0:17:590:18:03

well, not that high - score of 30.

0:18:030:18:04

I'm afraid it is Vickie and Rebecca.

0:18:040:18:07

Nothing wrong with your answers,

0:18:070:18:08

they just scored higher than everyone else's.

0:18:080:18:11

But we will see you again next time.

0:18:110:18:12

We look forward to that.

0:18:120:18:14

In the meantime, thanks much for playing. Vickie and Rebecca.

0:18:140:18:17

APPLAUSE

0:18:170:18:20

But for the remaining three pairs, it is now time for Round Two.

0:18:200:18:23

And now we are down to three pairs. At the end of this round,

0:18:280:18:31

we will have to say goodbye to another pair.

0:18:310:18:33

Well, congratulations, amazing low scores from all of you.

0:18:330:18:36

Single figure scores from each and every one of you.

0:18:360:18:38

But Jill and Stephen, particularly, congratulations to you.

0:18:380:18:41

Amazing total of 6 in that round. Very strong indeed.

0:18:410:18:44

Best of luck to all three pairs.

0:18:440:18:46

Our category for Round Two this afternoon is...

0:18:460:18:49

Science. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going first,

0:18:510:18:54

who's going second?

0:18:540:18:55

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

0:18:560:19:00

OK, and the question concerns...

0:19:020:19:05

As in science. Richard.

0:19:080:19:10

We are going to show you six questions on each pass,

0:19:100:19:12

and the answer to each one of them begins with A.

0:19:120:19:15

So 12 in all to have a go at at home. Very best of luck.

0:19:150:19:17

Thanks very much indeed.

0:19:170:19:19

So, we're looking for the scientific terms beginning with A

0:19:190:19:22

described by these clues.

0:19:220:19:23

Here is our first board of six.

0:19:230:19:26

And on it, we have got...

0:19:260:19:28

I'll read those all one last time.

0:19:550:19:57

There we go. Simon, how is your chemistry?

0:20:210:20:25

Well, the only answer I really know on there is the one that is

0:20:250:20:29

probably coursing through my veins at the moment.

0:20:290:20:32

And I am wondering about the flight response at the moment.

0:20:320:20:36

So I am going to have to go for adrenaline.

0:20:360:20:39

Adrenaline, says Simon. Let's see if it is right.

0:20:390:20:41

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

0:20:410:20:43

It is right.

0:20:450:20:46

61 for adrenaline.

0:20:500:20:51

APPLAUSE

0:20:510:20:54

Yeah, solid answer and a lot better than 100,

0:20:540:20:57

-so perhaps best to go first on this board.

-Good.

0:20:570:21:00

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Now, Jill, Science.

0:21:000:21:04

How are we feeling about this board?

0:21:040:21:06

I was feeling better before he took my only answer.

0:21:060:21:09

Not good. I'm going to have to guess.

0:21:090:21:14

The surname of the French physicist is Ampere.

0:21:140:21:18

Ampere, says Jill. Stands to reason, surely. Let's see if Ampere exists.

0:21:180:21:23

Let's see how many people said Ampere.

0:21:230:21:25

It's right!

0:21:270:21:28

It's right. Well, you pass the high score

0:21:300:21:32

of 61.

0:21:320:21:33

APPLAUSE

0:21:350:21:38

You see, that is the thing.

0:21:380:21:39

Pointless sometimes forces you to go for a better score, actually.

0:21:390:21:42

So, Ampere - very well done indeed.

0:21:420:21:44

Yes. Andre-Marie Ampere.

0:21:440:21:47

-It's French.

-Ampere.

-Yeah.

0:21:470:21:49

Do you think he was Grand-pere Ampere to someone?

0:21:490:21:51

Aw, that's nice. That is a nice thought, isn't it?

0:21:510:21:54

Thank you, Richard. Now, Gail.

0:21:540:21:57

This board is all yours, so if you fancied it,

0:21:570:21:59

you could waltz through it and fill in all the blanks for us.

0:21:590:22:02

I don't have a clue.

0:22:030:22:04

For any of them.

0:22:060:22:08

I am going to have to take a guess

0:22:080:22:09

and say the bottom one, argon.

0:22:090:22:12

OK, argon, the pungent gas.

0:22:140:22:16

Argon, let's see if it's right and how many people said it.

0:22:160:22:19

Bad luck. I'm afraid it's an incorrect answer.

0:22:230:22:25

Scores you 100 points.

0:22:250:22:27

Some of these are actually easier than you think.

0:22:270:22:29

I think we get scared when we see scientific questions,

0:22:290:22:32

but the top one,

0:22:320:22:33

the objects are asteroids.

0:22:330:22:36

-Ah, yes.

-You see?

-There you go.

0:22:360:22:38

42 points for that.

0:22:380:22:40

The next answer down is the alkanes.

0:22:400:22:42

Good answer. 4 points.

0:22:420:22:43

Well done if you said that at home.

0:22:430:22:44

The rate at which velocity changes?

0:22:440:22:46

Acceleration. I know that one.

0:22:460:22:48

34 points. And the pungent gas?

0:22:480:22:51

-Ammonia.

-It is. 17 points for that.

0:22:510:22:54

So, alkanes the best answer up there.

0:22:540:22:56

Thanks very much indeed. We are halfway through the round.

0:22:560:22:58

Let's look at the scores.

0:22:580:23:00

16. Jill and Stephen looking very strong at this point.

0:23:000:23:02

61. Simon and Lizzie still in with a shout, I would say.

0:23:020:23:06

And then up to 100, Gail and Steve. Your are out in front.

0:23:060:23:09

Steve, we need a low score from you. Best of luck.

0:23:090:23:11

We'll come back down the line.

0:23:110:23:12

Can the second players step up to the podium.

0:23:120:23:15

Let's put six more scientific terms beginning with A up on the board.

0:23:170:23:22

Here are the clues.

0:23:220:23:24

I will read those all one last time.

0:23:450:23:47

Steve, you're the high-scorers on 100. We need a low score.

0:24:070:24:10

How do we like

0:24:100:24:11

the look of that board?

0:24:110:24:13

Well, not bad. I think I maybe know

0:24:130:24:15

a couple of obvious answers.

0:24:150:24:17

It is just deciding which one

0:24:170:24:19

may be the lowest.

0:24:190:24:20

I think I will try -

0:24:200:24:22

hopefully it is right -

0:24:220:24:23

type of radioactive particle,

0:24:230:24:25

atom.

0:24:250:24:27

Atom, says Steve. Atom. Let's see if it's right.

0:24:270:24:30

No red line for a you as you're the high-scorers.

0:24:300:24:32

Let's see how many people said atom.

0:24:320:24:34

Oh, bad luck, Steve.

0:24:370:24:39

I'm afraid that is pretty clear.

0:24:390:24:41

That is an incorrect answer, scores you 100 points.

0:24:410:24:43

Takes your total up to an unbeatable 200.

0:24:430:24:46

-Sorry.

-Sorry, Steve.

0:24:460:24:48

If every atom was radioactive, we would be in trouble.

0:24:480:24:50

-We wouldn't be here.

-We just wouldn't.

0:24:500:24:53

This show would have been decommissioned.

0:24:530:24:55

LAUGHTER

0:24:550:24:57

Thanks, Rich. Now, Stephen.

0:24:570:25:00

A little bit of pressure off you. You're through whatever happens.

0:25:000:25:03

But I think there's a good answer

0:25:030:25:04

-in there.

-I think I know three.

0:25:040:25:06

I am going to go for the one

0:25:060:25:08

I am most confident about.

0:25:080:25:09

I'll go for the third one

0:25:090:25:11

and Alfred.

0:25:110:25:12

Alfred Nobel. Alfred Nobel. Let's see if that is right.

0:25:120:25:15

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

0:25:150:25:17

No red line, you are already through.

0:25:170:25:19

It's right!

0:25:210:25:22

-21.

-APPLAUSE

0:25:260:25:29

Very well done. 21 takes your total up to 37,

0:25:290:25:31

the lowest total of this round.

0:25:310:25:33

Very well played. Safely through. Famously the inventor of dynamite.

0:25:330:25:36

and various other explosives as well, Alfred Nobel.

0:25:360:25:39

Thanks, Richard. Now, Lizzie, great news.

0:25:390:25:42

You are once again in the head-to-head.

0:25:420:25:45

Yes, no target for you. Whatever you score, you're through.

0:25:450:25:48

Do you fancy talking

0:25:480:25:49

us through that board?

0:25:490:25:50

I will have a go.

0:25:500:25:52

Noble gas, I would go for argon.

0:25:520:25:54

Main artery, aorta.

0:25:540:25:57

Air sacs, alveoli.

0:25:570:25:59

Next one, I would guess an anion.

0:25:590:26:02

Substance pH greater than 7 -

0:26:020:26:04

alkali.

0:26:040:26:05

My final answer will be alveoli

0:26:060:26:09

for tiny air sacs.

0:26:090:26:10

The alveoli, says Lizzie. No red line

0:26:100:26:12

because you are already through.

0:26:120:26:14

Let's see how many of our 100 said alveoli.

0:26:140:26:16

It is right.

0:26:180:26:19

-26.

-APPLAUSE

0:26:240:26:26

The doc has still got it.

0:26:260:26:28

-Takes your total to 87.

-I'd forgotten she was a doctor.

0:26:280:26:31

I forgot you were a doctor, Lizzie, before you went through that.

0:26:310:26:34

It very impressive, though.

0:26:340:26:35

Alveoli is one of those things I learned at school.

0:26:350:26:38

I was desperately trying to bring it to mind, I couldn't do it.

0:26:380:26:40

-Isn't that awful?

-Mm.

0:26:400:26:41

You are absolutely right about

0:26:410:26:43

the noble gas. It is argon. 28.

0:26:430:26:45

You're right about the aorta as well,

0:26:450:26:47

-the main artery.

-Why aorta!

0:26:470:26:49

That would have scored you 54.

0:26:490:26:51

You're right about the bottom one,

0:26:510:26:53

which is alkali. 38.

0:26:530:26:55

But the doctor got one wrong. SHE LAUGHS

0:26:550:26:58

Yeah. The type of radioactive particle,

0:26:580:27:00

it is an alpha particle.

0:27:000:27:03

Would have scored 6 points -

0:27:030:27:04

best answer on the board. Well done if you said that at home.

0:27:040:27:06

Thanks very much, Richard. At the end of our second round,

0:27:060:27:09

the pair who head home with a high score of 200 is Steve and Gail.

0:27:090:27:14

I am afraid you don't get an A in science. I'm afraid...

0:27:140:27:17

I don't know what that is. A U, maybe. I don't know.

0:27:170:27:20

But we will see you again next time. You can come back for resits.

0:27:200:27:23

We will look forward to that very much.

0:27:230:27:25

In the meantime, thanks very much for playing. Steve and Gail.

0:27:250:27:27

APPLAUSE

0:27:270:27:29

For the remaining two pairs, it is time for our head-to-head.

0:27:310:27:34

Congratulations, Jill and Stephen, Simon and Lizzie.

0:27:380:27:41

You are one step closer to the final and a chance

0:27:410:27:43

to play for our jackpot, which currently still stands at £1,000.

0:27:430:27:48

This is the point were we decide who goes through to the final

0:27:480:27:51

and plays for that jackpot and we do this,

0:27:510:27:53

as you know, by making you go head-to-head.

0:27:530:27:55

The difference is you can now confer before you give your answers.

0:27:550:27:59

The first player to win two questions will be

0:27:590:28:01

playing for that jackpot.

0:28:010:28:02

Jill and Stephen, well done you. I mean, amazing.

0:28:020:28:06

Lovely low scores throughout both rounds.

0:28:060:28:08

Neither of them have been your specialist subjects,

0:28:080:28:11

and yet there you are, our low-scoring pair.

0:28:110:28:14

Simon and Lizzie, you were our low-scoring pair last time.

0:28:140:28:17

-Mind you, that didn't do you any good.

-THEY LAUGH

0:28:170:28:19

So maybe having the boot on the other foot

0:28:190:28:21

might see you through to the final.

0:28:210:28:24

Best of luck. Best of luck to both pairs.

0:28:240:28:26

Let's play the head-to-head.

0:28:260:28:27

Here comes your first question and it concerns...

0:28:330:28:36

-THEY LAUGH

-Famous Simons.

0:28:390:28:41

Simon excited about that.

0:28:410:28:42

We're going to show you five pictures of famous people called Simon.

0:28:420:28:45

Can you identify the most obscure Simon, Simon?

0:28:450:28:48

OK, thank you, Richard. Let's reveal the Simons.

0:28:500:28:53

We have got...

0:28:540:28:55

There we are. Five famous Simons.

0:29:140:29:17

Now, Jill and Stephen, you have been

0:29:170:29:18

our low scorers throughout the show so you will go first.

0:29:180:29:21

Feel free to confer.

0:29:210:29:22

I think the only one I know is D, Simon Callow.

0:29:220:29:26

I know E, Simon Le Bon, but that's it.

0:29:260:29:29

-Is that him?

-Yeah.

-It doesn't look like him.

0:29:290:29:33

Well, OK-ish. We're going to go for D,

0:29:330:29:37

-Simon Callow.

-Simon Callow.

0:29:370:29:39

Simon Callow, say Jill and Stephen.

0:29:390:29:42

Now, Simon and Lizzie. Talk us through the Simons.

0:29:420:29:46

-If only we could.

-Come on, it is simple, Simon.

0:29:460:29:49

LAUGHTER AND GROANING

0:29:490:29:53

The only one that may be right

0:29:550:29:59

and it is just a name I recognised -

0:29:590:30:04

B, Simon Rattle.

0:30:040:30:05

OK, you're going to go for Simon Rattle.

0:30:050:30:07

We have Simon Callow and Simon Rattle.

0:30:070:30:10

Jill and Stephen said Simon Callow for D.

0:30:100:30:12

Let's see if that is right and how many people said it.

0:30:120:30:15

35.

0:30:220:30:24

35. Now, Simon and Lizzie have said Simon Rattle,

0:30:280:30:32

or rather Sir Simon Rattle, I should say, for B.

0:30:320:30:34

Let's see if that is right and how many of our 100 people said it.

0:30:340:30:38

It is right.

0:30:400:30:41

Will it beat 35?

0:30:420:30:44

Yes, it will! Well done.

0:30:440:30:46

26 for Simon Rattle.

0:30:460:30:47

APPLAUSE

0:30:470:30:49

Which means, Simon and Lizzie, after one question you are up 1-nil.

0:30:500:30:53

Plucked that from somewhere. Very good answer.

0:30:530:30:55

The conductor Sir Simon Rattle.

0:30:550:30:58

The biggest answer on the board is A and that is Simon Mayo.

0:30:580:31:02

-That is nice for Simon Mayo.

-It is. He's a lovely fellow, Simon.

0:31:020:31:06

-He is. Very nice fellow.

-Very nice fellow. 38.

0:31:060:31:09

C is the poet Simon Armitage.

0:31:090:31:12

He would have scored 3, which is less nice for Simon Armitage.

0:31:130:31:16

It is less nice for him. He looks like...

0:31:160:31:19

I think it was the keyboard player in The Stranglers looked like that.

0:31:190:31:22

RICHARD LAUGHS And E is a very low-scorer.

0:31:220:31:25

I've think it must be cos of the photograph.

0:31:250:31:27

Some people maybe not recognising him with the beard or the look.

0:31:270:31:30

It is a slightly arch look in his eye, I think.

0:31:300:31:32

Simon Le Bon, that is.

0:31:320:31:34

-There you go.

-And it would have scored you 12 points.

0:31:340:31:37

There we go, Simon Le Bon. Here comes your second question.

0:31:370:31:41

Simon and Lizzie get to answer it first, but Jill and Stephen,

0:31:410:31:44

you have to win this one to stay in the game, so best of luck.

0:31:440:31:47

It concerns...

0:31:470:31:48

LAUGHTER

0:31:510:31:53

Culinary nuts.

0:31:530:31:54

We are simply going to give you five clues

0:31:540:31:56

to types of edible culinary nuts.

0:31:560:31:58

Can you tell us what the nuts are, please?

0:31:580:32:01

OK, let us see what our nuts are. here are the clues.

0:32:010:32:05

I will read those all once more.

0:32:280:32:30

There we are. Simon and Lizzie will go first.

0:32:440:32:47

-WHISPERS:

-Macadamia.

-Go for that one.

0:32:480:32:51

-Do you think?

-Go for it, yeah.

0:32:510:32:53

Go for it. You say it, go on.

0:32:530:32:55

Macadamia for the middle one.

0:32:550:32:57

-For the Scottish-born Australian?

-Yeah.

0:32:570:32:59

OK, macadamia. Jill and Stephen?

0:32:590:33:02

Um, well, that was the one

0:33:040:33:05

we were going to go for.

0:33:050:33:07

We know the others,

0:33:070:33:09

apart from the fourth one.

0:33:090:33:11

Um... Do you think

0:33:110:33:12

-the top one?

-Yeah.

0:33:120:33:13

We will go for cashew for the top one.

0:33:130:33:15

You're going to go for cashew.

0:33:150:33:17

So, we have macadamia and we have cashew.

0:33:170:33:20

Simon and Lizzie went for macadamia.

0:33:200:33:22

Let's see if that is right

0:33:220:33:23

and how many of our 100 people said macadamia.

0:33:230:33:26

It is right.

0:33:290:33:31

-50.

-APPLAUSE

0:33:320:33:35

50. That is quite high.

0:33:360:33:37

I think you were hoping that might go further down.

0:33:370:33:40

Jill and Stephen, meanwhile, have gone for the cashew, the acajou.

0:33:400:33:43

Let's see if cashew is right and if it is, how many people said it.

0:33:430:33:47

You have to win this one to stay in the game. Good luck.

0:33:470:33:49

It is right.

0:33:510:33:52

Has to go below 50.

0:33:520:33:54

Ooh, no! 58 for cashew.

0:33:540:33:56

APPLAUSE

0:33:560:34:00

Well, there is something poetic about that.

0:34:000:34:02

Simon and Lizzie, you're going through to the final

0:34:020:34:04

after only two questions. You're going through 2-nil.

0:34:040:34:06

They were actually the best two answers on the board,

0:34:060:34:09

those two. Well done.

0:34:090:34:11

Walnut, of course,

0:34:110:34:12

is the next one down.

0:34:120:34:14

Would have scored 87. Big score.

0:34:150:34:18

You do know this one -

0:34:180:34:19

it is Brazil nut.

0:34:190:34:20

Would have scored you 75.

0:34:220:34:25

This bottom one is one of those clues

0:34:250:34:27

that gets easier and easier

0:34:270:34:28

-as it goes on.

-Mm!

0:34:280:34:30

What do you think that scored?

0:34:300:34:31

-It is chestnut, of course.

-Obviously.

0:34:310:34:33

What do you think that would score?

0:34:330:34:35

That old chestnut? 94.

0:34:350:34:38

-96 points.

-Oh, what about that?

0:34:380:34:40

-96 for chestnut.

-There we go.

0:34:400:34:43

Thanks, Richard.

0:34:430:34:44

The pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round...

0:34:440:34:47

Oh, I'm so sorry. You did so well up to this round.

0:34:470:34:50

Nothing wrong with either of your answers, of course.

0:34:500:34:52

But Simon and Lizzie, I'm afraid,

0:34:520:34:54

whipped the rug from under your feet.

0:34:540:34:56

But good news for us, Jill and Stephen.

0:34:560:34:58

We get to see you again next show. We look forward to that.

0:34:580:35:00

In the meantime, thanks very much indeed. Jill and Stephen.

0:35:000:35:03

APPLAUSE

0:35:030:35:06

But for Simon and Lizzie, it is time for our Pointless final.

0:35:060:35:10

Congratulations, Simon and Lizzie.

0:35:130:35:15

You have seen off all the competition

0:35:150:35:17

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

0:35:170:35:19

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

0:35:250:35:27

At the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £1,000.

0:35:270:35:32

There it is. Well, finally, you've done it.

0:35:320:35:34

You were head-to-head last time.

0:35:340:35:36

As always, you get to choose your category from the four we put there.

0:35:360:35:39

Let's hope there is something up there for you.

0:35:390:35:42

Today's selection looks like this.

0:35:420:35:44

-It has got to be Art, hasn't it?

-Yeah.

0:35:520:35:54

-It's got to be Art, I think.

-It is going to be Art.

-Yeah.

0:35:540:35:57

Very good. Richard.

0:35:580:36:00

We have got three very different questions for you here.

0:36:000:36:02

Very best of luck. Hope one of these suits you.

0:36:020:36:04

We are looking for...

0:36:040:36:06

Anyone who had an acting credit in the film Mr Turner,

0:36:070:36:10

according to IMDb.

0:36:100:36:12

We are looking for the name of any artist whose work appears

0:36:120:36:15

in the highlights of the Tate Collection on their website.

0:36:150:36:18

That is the name of any artist who has any work on that list.

0:36:180:36:20

Or we're looking for any artist who featured

0:36:200:36:23

in the National Gallery's 2015 exhibition Inventing Impressionism.

0:36:230:36:28

The cast of Mr Turner, artists in the Tate Collection highlights

0:36:280:36:31

or artists in the Inventing Impressionism exhibition.

0:36:310:36:34

Very, very best of luck.

0:36:340:36:36

OK. As always, you have got up to one minute

0:36:360:36:38

to come up with three answers and all you need to win that jackpot

0:36:380:36:41

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

0:36:410:36:44

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

-Yeah.

0:36:440:36:46

OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock. There they are.

0:36:460:36:48

Your time starts now.

0:36:480:36:50

I don't know anyone in the cast of Mr Turner.

0:36:500:36:52

-Have you seen it?

-No.

-No.

0:36:520:36:53

Tate highlights, they'd have some classics, wouldn't they?

0:36:530:36:57

Is it Tate artists or is it the Tate Modern?

0:36:570:37:00

-Um...

-Inventing Impressionism is probably the best bet.

0:37:000:37:04

-Yeah, if we just pick...

-Yeah.

0:37:040:37:09

I have never seen it and I'm not aware of it,

0:37:090:37:11

so if we just went with something.

0:37:110:37:12

-I'm thinking probably someone like Arthur Sisley.

-OK.

0:37:120:37:18

Can you think of anybody?

0:37:180:37:19

I mean, you have got the obvious ones like Monet and Manet and Degas.

0:37:210:37:25

Um...

0:37:250:37:27

-I'm trying to think of some more.

-Cezanne.

0:37:270:37:30

What were the ladies? The lady impressionists? Um...

0:37:300:37:36

-Oh, for goodness' sake.

-Ten seconds left.

0:37:370:37:40

-Couldn't you have done the history of art?

-I know.

-SHE CHUCKLES

0:37:400:37:43

Um... Ah...

0:37:430:37:46

Morisot. Berthe Morisot.

0:37:460:37:48

Say Berthe Morisot.

0:37:480:37:50

OK, that is your time up.

0:37:500:37:52

-It sounds like you have got three answers.

-Yes.

0:37:520:37:54

-Let's hear them.

-Couple of suspect ones.

0:37:540:37:57

-Berthe Morisot.

-Berthe Morisot.

0:37:570:38:00

-Arthur Sisley.

-Arthur Sisley.

0:38:000:38:03

And...

0:38:030:38:04

-Monet.

-And Monet. Claude Monet.

-Claude Monet.

0:38:040:38:09

-From which category?

-Inventing Impressionism.

0:38:090:38:11

From Inventing Impressionism.

0:38:110:38:12

OK. Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

0:38:120:38:16

If she is right, I would suspect Berthe Morisot.

0:38:160:38:18

Berthe Morisot we will put last. least likely to be pointless?

0:38:180:38:22

-The obvious one is Monet.

-Monet, OK.

0:38:220:38:24

OK, let's put those up on the board in that order, then. Here they are.

0:38:240:38:28

We have got...

0:38:280:38:29

Very, very best of luck.

0:38:340:38:36

Before we put any of these answers to the test, I want to find out

0:38:360:38:39

what you would do if you won that jackpot, 1,000 quid. Simon?

0:38:390:38:44

It is my 30th wedding anniversary this year,

0:38:440:38:46

so probably some new golf clubs.

0:38:460:38:48

LAUGHTER

0:38:480:38:51

Congratulations.

0:38:560:38:58

-Lizzie?

-We're going to France later this year,

0:39:000:39:03

so I would quite like to take my daughter via Disneyland en route.

0:39:030:39:07

Very nice indeed. Very best of luck.

0:39:070:39:09

Let's hope one of these answers, at least, is pointless.

0:39:090:39:12

In all cases, you gave your answers in the category

0:39:120:39:15

from the Inventing Impressionism exhibition.

0:39:150:39:18

Your first answer, the one you thought was least likely

0:39:180:39:20

to be pointless, was Claude Monet.

0:39:200:39:22

How many people said Claude Monet? Is it pointless?

0:39:220:39:24

It is right.

0:39:270:39:29

If this goes all the way down to 0 by some miracle,

0:39:290:39:31

you will leave with £1,000.

0:39:310:39:34

Claude Monet now taking us down through the 30s,

0:39:340:39:36

into the 20s...

0:39:360:39:37

Oh, 20. There we are.

0:39:370:39:39

APPLAUSE

0:39:390:39:41

Monet was just holding a place there for us,

0:39:430:39:46

because you had to come up with a third answer.

0:39:460:39:47

Unfortunately not a pointless answer,

0:39:470:39:49

but you would have been very surprised if it had been.

0:39:490:39:52

Only two more shots at today's jackpot.

0:39:520:39:54

Your second answer, also from the Inventing Impressionism exhibition,

0:39:540:39:58

was Arthur Sisley. Let's find out if it is pointless.

0:39:580:40:02

For £1,000, how many people said Arthur Sisley.

0:40:020:40:04

Not him.

0:40:090:40:10

-He realised afterwards.

-You're thinking of Alfred Sisley.

0:40:100:40:12

OK, an incorrect answer. But all is not lost.

0:40:120:40:15

Everything is now riding on your third and final answer,

0:40:150:40:18

which is Berthe Morisot.

0:40:180:40:21

Again, we were looking for people

0:40:210:40:22

from the Inventing Impressionism exhibition.

0:40:220:40:25

It has to be right and it has to be pointless.

0:40:250:40:27

If it is both of those things,

0:40:270:40:29

those golf clubs and that trip to Euro Disney might be yours.

0:40:290:40:33

Let's find out how many people said Berthe Morisot. Is it pointless?

0:40:330:40:37

-It's right.

-That's a good start.

0:40:400:40:42

Your first answer was right, Claude Monet,

0:40:420:40:44

but that stopped on 20.

0:40:440:40:45

Your second answer, Arthur Sisley, was wrong.

0:40:450:40:47

Your third answer takes us down to the single figures,

0:40:470:40:50

still going down....

0:40:500:40:51

You've done it! You have done it.

0:40:510:40:54

Very well done.

0:40:540:40:56

Absolutely brilliant. Fantastic.

0:40:560:41:00

Very, very well done. Many congratulations.

0:41:050:41:08

Berthe Morisot was a pointless answer, which means you go home

0:41:080:41:12

with our jackpot of £1,000.

0:41:120:41:14

A very popular win there.

0:41:140:41:15

And what a great and fitting end to your Pointless career.

0:41:150:41:19

-Very well done indeed. Richard.

-Isn't that lovely? Congratulations.

0:41:190:41:22

What a lovely father-daughter pairing as well.

0:41:220:41:25

It is really lovely to see.

0:41:250:41:28

It's Alfred Sisley, as you said.

0:41:280:41:29

-It would have scored you 1 point.

-Oh!

0:41:290:41:32

To be honest, it would have been more exciting for the show...

0:41:320:41:35

LAUGHTER ..if you had managed to get it right.

0:41:350:41:38

-Next time.

-But there it is.

0:41:380:41:39

Let's look at the pointless answers in the different categories.

0:41:390:41:42

First one is Mr Turner.

0:41:420:41:44

Every single actor in Mr Turner apart from Tim Spall

0:41:440:41:46

was a pointless answer here.

0:41:460:41:48

If you knew any of them, you did very well. Some great actors there.

0:41:480:41:51

There are loads and loads of pointless answers

0:41:530:41:55

in the next one, the Tate collection highlights.

0:41:550:41:57

Some very, very famous artists in this.

0:41:570:41:59

You could have had Giacometti, Anish Kapoor, Antony Gormley,

0:42:030:42:05

Ben Nicholson, Bridget Riley, Eric Gill, George Braque,

0:42:050:42:08

Gilbert & George, Henry Moore, Howard Hodgkin, Jackson Pollock.

0:42:080:42:11

You could have had Jasper Johns, Joan Miro, John Singer Sargent.

0:42:110:42:14

You could have had Joshua Reynolds, Marcel Duchamp,

0:42:140:42:16

Stanley Spencer, Wassily Kandinsky, Eve Klein.

0:42:160:42:19

Lots and lots and lots of pointless answers on that one.

0:42:190:42:22

Very well done if you said one of them.

0:42:220:42:24

And for the impressionists one, the Inventing Impressionism.

0:42:240:42:28

Essentially, everybody in that exhibition apart from Monet,

0:42:280:42:32

Manet, Renoir, Degas, Pissarro and Sisley.

0:42:320:42:35

Everybody else was a pointless answer. It could have been...

0:42:350:42:38

Well done at home if you got a pointless answer.

0:42:410:42:43

And congratulations in the studio.

0:42:430:42:44

Thanks very much, Richard.

0:42:440:42:46

Thanks once again to our winning players, Simon and Lizzie,

0:42:460:42:48

who go away with today's jackpot of £1,000.

0:42:480:42:51

-Very, very well done.

-APPLAUSE

0:42:510:42:53

Join us next time when we will be putting

0:42:560:42:58

more obscure knowledge to the test on pointless.

0:42:580:43:00

-Meanwhile, it is goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

0:43:000:43:02

And it is goodbye from me. Goodbye.

0:43:020:43:04

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