Episode 28 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong, and a very warm welcome to Pointless,

the show where obvious answers mean nothing,

and obscure answers mean everything.

Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

And couple number one.

Hi, my name's Ian, this is my brother-in-law, Stuart,

and we are from Bristol. Couple number two.

Hi, I'm Anne, this is my husband, Steve, and we are from Bristol.

Couple number three.

Hi, I'm Joan, this is my daughter, Lorna,

and we're originally from Shetland, but Lorna lives in Edinburgh.

And finally, couple number four.

Hi, I'm Bethan, this is my best friend, Jonathan.

We currently live in Brighton, but we're originally from Wales.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much, everyone. We'll get a chance to speak to you more throughout the show,

so that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

His quest for knowledge never ends.

Just this week he's been learning the ropes.

Jute, cotton, polyester, polypropylene and nylon.

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard. Hiya.

APPLAUSE Afternoon, everybody.

Good day to you. And to you, sir.

We had to do some balancing out there

because we've got two pairs from Bristol, and one from Brighton.

So we got Joan all the way down from the Shetlands.

Just to get that north-south balance.

I think Joan may have had the longest ever journey to

join us in Pointless, I would have thought.

Quite hard to think of a longer journey than that. Yeah. Very impressive.

Actually, coming up from Brighton can take a while, can't it?

Yes, the M23 can often... There is often tailbacks.

I would say it would be a bit unfair to send Joan home after the first

round, after the trip she's had, that's all I'll say.

If somebody would like to fall on their sword, I think

that would be a classy thing to do. Two returning pairs, Stuart and Ian.

Ian gave us a pointless answer in the last show.

And Stuart was one question away from a good answer.

He gave us Marina Sharapova instead of Maria Sharapova.

And they got knocked out because of it, so they've got something to prove, I suspect, on today's show.

On the final podium there, Jonathan and Bethan, who got through to the head-to-head.

I will say, quite a low-quality head-to-head.

A lot of it was to do with recognising a picture of Queen Elizabeth II,

which I thought was self-evident, but apparently wasn't,

according to many... She's on the stamps and everything.

It's not hard to recognise her. Oh, THAT'S who she is! Yes.

I knew I'd seen her. Yeah. I thought she was in The Wire, but no, you're right,

she's on the stamps. LAUGHTER

So an interesting first round today, with lots of pictures in it.

OK, that's fun. Now then, Lucy and Terry won the jackpot last time,

so today's jackpot starts off at ?1,000.

There it is, on the board.

Brilliant. If everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

Now, for the benefit of our newcomers, I'm just going to remind

you that the highest scorers at the end of each round will be eliminated.

The highest-scoring pair. And also there is to be no conferring,

but that, of course, is self-evident.

Our first category today is...

Famous People. Can you decide, in your pairs, who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and our first question concerns...

There we are. Celebrities In Sunglasses, Richard.

We are going to show you 15 pictures now of celebrities...

in sunglasses. That's great.

Clever. That's where I got the title from.

You just need to tell us who they are, please. Thank you, Richard.

OK, we're going to show an image now.

That image will contain 15 celebrities in sunglasses.

That image will remain up throughout the round, we won't be changing it.

You just have to name one of the people on that board. OK, here is the image.

There you go. There you go.

So, Stuart, welcome back to Pointless. Thank you.

Oh, very unfortunate last time, second-round exit. Mm-hm.

Early bath for Stuart. Certainly was. Yeah, Marina. I know.

Only a letter out. Yeah! Anyway, listen, who knows what would have happened

if you'd gone through to the head-to-head?

Stuart, remind us what you do. I work for Highways England.

For Highways England, devising traffic systems.

Yeah, doing research into new technologies to put out onto

the roadside. Anything exciting coming up we can look forward to?

Doing a lot of work on connected vehicles, and getting

messages into the vehicles, rather than being on the roadside.

Oh, that's clever. Through the sat navs?

Yeah, through the sat navs. Real-time messaging.

Real-time messages are quite often quite out of date, aren't they? Yeah.

Because it'll say "something in the road", and there's nothing in the road. Exactly.

And then you've slowed down to 20, and then suddenly it says "end". You think, "What was all that about?"

So these are the things you're working on. I'm delighted to know that you're on that, Stuart.

Now, the celebrities in sunglasses.

Have you found a nice, obscure one there?

Yeah. I think so.

Jean Reno.

Jean Reno. Jean Reno, says Stuart.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right.

Look at that, 3!

APPLAUSE

3 for "Gene" or "Zhon" Reno.

Very good start. Jean Reno, there he is, in the middle row.

Second from the right.

He's thought of as French, he's not actually, his real name is Juan Moreno y Herrera-Jimenez.

He was born in Morocco. Thanks very much, Richard. Now, Anne, welcome.

What do you do? I'm a freelance writer.

So, a journalist does that mean, or a copywriter...? Not exactly.

I write for clients online, online magazines or hard-copy magazines.

I see. Any particular subjects you cover?

I write anything, really,

but I concentrate mostly on women's interests.

But I've also written a few books, and one of them

is about growing up in South America, which is where I'm from.

So where did you grow up? In Guyana, South America. Very good.

And what are your interests when you're not hard at work writing?

I like DIY and gardening.

OK, now, sunglasses and celebrities behind them.

Who would you like to unmask?

Er, I recognise a few of them.

I think I'll go for Sean Penn.

Sean Penn, says Anne. Good, good answer, I'd say.

Let's see how many of our 100 said Sean Penn.

It's right.

Well, Jean Reno scored 3,

Sean Penn scores 28.

APPLAUSE

Well played, Anne, very solid answer.

There he is, in the middle of the bottom row.

Nominated for Best Actor at the Oscars five times. Really?

Won it twice as well.

Won it twice. Thank you, Richard. Joan, a very warm welcome.

Here from the Shetland Isles. I am.

And what keeps you occupied up there in the Shetland Islands, Joan?

Well, teaching KEPT me occupied, but I'm retired. What did you teach?

I taught all the primary ages,

and I did teach geography at one point, many, many years ago.

Wonderful. And what do you like doing now, Joan? Travelling.

Cruising. Ah! But the Shetland Isles themselves are so beautiful,

I hope you spend a good proportion of the year up at home.

At the moment, not a lot of time at home, but

I do stay there sometimes!

Very good. Where is your favourite place you've cruised to so far?

I've cruised across the Pacific, so I would say places like Pitcairn

and Easter Island were just wonderful to visit. Wonderful.

OK, now, Joan, celebrities in sunglasses.

Are you happy with our selection?

Very, but not very sure of some of them,

and I doubt it's going to have to be an obvious one.

So I'm going to have to go for Simon Cowell. Simon Cowell, says Joan.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said Simon Cowell.

APPLAUSE

74.

Yes, Simon Cowell, there he is on the top row.

He actually posted a picture on Twitter with his son, Eric,

and they're both wearing the same shades. Both wearing aviator shades.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Now, Bethan.

Last time you soared through to the head-to-head,

and then the wheels came flying off, I have to say.

They weren't our questions, were they? But we gave it our best.

No, you did. You did very well, exemplary answering up till then.

Remind us what you do, Bethan.

I'm a project support officer in an NHS Trust in Brighton.

So the corporate side of the NHS. And your hobbies outside the NHS?

I watch a lot of horror movies. Why particularly horror movies?

Do you just like being scared? I like to be scared.

I don't know why, I kind of like the adrenaline rush. Do you have a particular...

Is there one horror movie that you think is head and shoulders above the rest?

Severed head and shoulders. The Exorcist, obviously.

I just think The Exorcist... Even to this day it terrifies me.

My dad put a veto on The Exorcist for so long.

And then one day I managed to sneak it, and I wish I hadn't. It didn't disappoint.

Was that the first one you saw? No, it wasn't, actually. He was like,

"That one, that film, even when you're 18, I think you shouldn't watch it," but...

It is scary. Right, now, I hope this is slightly less scary for you.

OK. I recognise one, and I'm like

80% sure it's him, and I don't know

whether I should take...a punt.

Do it. Will you trust me to do that? Yeah.

OK, I'm going to go for the fifth one. I think it's Lenny Kravitz.

Lenny Kravitz, says Bethan.

Let's see if it's worth taking that punt,

let's see how many people said Lenny Kravitz. Is it right?

It's right. Yes!

Look at that, 1!

APPLAUSE

Best score of the round, Bethan.

1 for Lenny Kravitz.

Brilliant answer, Bethan. There he is on the top row, on the far right.

Do you know who... He's so attractive, how do people not know who he is?

I know, right? Although, with respect, Bethan,

you had trouble recognising Queen Elizabeth II.

LAUGHTER

I'm not going to say anything! Thank you, Richard.

We're halfway through the round, let's take a look at those scores.

Bethan, well done, you, 1. The lowest score of the round so far.

Superb. Bookended by good scores we are. Stuart, there you are on 3.

Then we travel up to 28, where we find Anne and Steve.

Then up to 74, Joan and Lorna.

Have you got a nice obscure one?

Fingers crossed. Fingers crossed. Well, let's hope you get that.

Let's hope it's right and it keeps you in the game. We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

Now then, Jonathan. Now then, Jonathan.

We learned last time that you are in your final year of studying nursing.

Yep. How much longer have you got to go, is it just months or...weeks? A few months, yeah.

So I'm about to start a management placement and run the ward

and be the boss. But after that, the world's my oyster. Very exciting.

Do you know where you want... Will you stay around Brighton, Sussex?

Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I'm a bit tied down at the moment.

I've got my cats and... You've got your cats! What are your cats called?

We've got Elvis Purrsley. Good. Leonardo DiCatrio. Oh, this is really good.

And we've got Mr Darcy. It's a bit random. It is a bit annoying, isn't it, for him?

He's really handsome, that's the justification. OK.

Now, if you can score 72 or less, you're in the next round.

I know quite a few.

One would be an absolute gamble

because it might be a man who I think it is, or it might be...

I'm going to play quite safe and say Zac Efron.

Zac Efron, says Jonathan. Here's your red line, nice and high.

Get below that with Zac Efron and you're in the next round.

It's right.

And you're through.

Hey, look at that, 1!

APPLAUSE

You are on fire on podium four!

Look at that, a total of 2. Superb.

Yes, that was playing it safe, Jonathan.

I'd quite like to know the people who didn't know Zac Efron! Yeah.

Well, again, I've got to refer you to the previous show, Jonathan.

LAUGHTER

Sorry about that. You were equally culpable. Oh, indeed.

Now, Lorna, welcome, warm welcome to you, here from Edinburgh.

Yes. I'm from Shetland, but I live in Edinburgh at the moment.

Now, you call it Shetland. It's the Shetland Islands.

The Shetland Islands. Or Shetland, but it's not the Shetlands.

Oh, this is a minefield. Not the Shetlands. Not the Shetlands.

Did I say the Shetlands at some point? Yes. Yes.

LAUGHTER

Is that a thing? Yes. In Shetland, on Shetland,

people get really cross if people say "the Shetlands"? Yes.

So the Shetland Islands, or Shetland. Or Shetland.

I'm so sorry, we must apologise. We will try and remember. But when it's a thing you have to remember,

I've already forgotten which was the thing I had to remember.

I'm going to call it the Shetland Islands. That's lovely.

We're fine with that. Lorna, what do you do... Well, you're in Edinburgh.

I am, and I work as a nursery nurse,

but I also am doing my master's at the moment. In nursing or...

No, nursery nursing, as in preschool education. Oh, I see, OK.

And what is your master's in? My master's is in

children and adolescents' mental health

and psychological policy.

OK. Wow, that's a mouthful. It's a mouthful.

How long have you been doing it? It's a year course,

but I've just got my dissertation left to do. Good stuff. Now, you had your fingers crossed.

It looked like you had a really good low-scoring...

Are you going to tell me you were going to go for Zac Efron?

No, I was going... There were two they said, I knew them both.

So I think I know them all, but one I'm not quite sure about...

I bet I know which one it is. Yeah. So I think I'm going to go for

Laurence Fishburne.

OK, Laurence Fishburne, says Lorna. Let's see if that's right.

No red line for you, you're the high-scorers,

but how many people said Laurence Fishburne?

Good answer.

19. APPLAUSE

It'll do. Takes your score to 93.

Given yourself a chance there, Lorna, well done.

He was in Apocalypse Now, Laurence Fishburne. He was 14 years old,

though, and he convinced Francis Ford Coppola he was 18. Good going.

That is good going, at 14, to pretend to be an 18-year-old.

Mind you, he's an actor. There you are. There you are.

Thank you very much.

Now, Steve, welcome to the show, Steve, from Bristol. Thank you.

What do you do, Steve? I'm a university lecturer, Alexander.

And what is your...your discipline? Sociology. Sociology.

And have you been at Bristol for a long time?

I don't actually work at the university there, but I've lived in Bristol for 11 years.

Oh, I see, so where do you work? The Open University.

Ah. Which can be anywhere. It can be. Everywhere and nowhere.

It's anywhere and everywhere. Yeah, and nowhere as well.

Well, that's fun.

So these are online lectures, or do people come for courses...

It's online lectures,

and then there's regional tutors to help people do follow-up work.

OK, right. Now, Steve... Yes. ..celebrities in sunglasses.

Yes. Sadly, the ones that I'd thought of have gone.

So I'm going to have to go for Whoopi Goldberg.

Whoopi Goldberg, says Steve.

Here is your red line, it will be nice and high...ish.

Get below that, you're in Round Two.

Let's see how many people said Whoopi Goldberg.

Well done, you're through.

Ooh, just, look at that, 55.

APPLAUSE

Takes your total up to 83, sees you comfortably through.

Yeah, before she was famous, she had a number of jobs,

including bricklayer and mortuary make-up artist.

Ooh. Yeah. Mm. How about that?

Mortuary make-up artist. And I'm sure she used to be a nun, didn't she?

Something in my head... LAUGHTER

Bricklayer. Some people living in a house made by Whoopi Goldberg.

Interesting. There's that joke, isn't there, that she should marry Peter Cushing?

She'd be Whoopi Cushing. LAUGHTER

Or she should marry Gerard Depardieu and be Whoopi Doopie-do.

LAUGHTER

Ian. Now, if you can score 89 points

or less, you are comfortably into the next round.

Now, Ian, remind us what you do.

I work for a fencing company, where I survey fences in people's gardens

and things like that. When you're not doing the fencing.

I play skittles, a lot of skittles. A lot of skittles.

Yeah, yeah, two or three times a week,

and we go away for tournaments and things like that.

Indoor skittles?

Indoor skittles, yeah, yeah, yeah, so we play a lot in Bath

and we go down South West for tournaments and things like that.

Wow! Do you ever go to ten-pin bowling and go, "Oh, it's so big!"?

It's a different ball game. Well, literally it is. How extraordinary.

Skittles. Good, now, as I say, you need to score 89 points or less.

Do you fancy talking through all the names on the board that you can see?

I can name quite a few. Jack Nicholson, Tom Cruise, Bono.

I think that's Jane Fonda.

That's Andy Murray's coach. I can't remember her name.

That left-hand one with the blue hair, no idea.

You've got Elton John and Cher, so I'll go for...

Bono, please.

Nice obscure one there, OK! Here's your red line, nice and high.

If you can get below that with Bono you're through.

How many people said Bono?

It's right and you've done it. Well done.

59.

APPLAUSE

62 is your total.

And left me very little to do in terms of filling them in as well, cos you got almost all of those.

So, Jack Nicholson up there would have scored you 70.

Tom Cruise also would have scored you 70.

We've heard the scores for everyone else on top there.

You're right, it is Jane Fonda on the second row.

She would have scored you 30.

And it is, you can see in the sunglasses there, you can

see a little bit of tennis.

Oh, yeah. That's Amelie Mauresmo, Andy Murray's coach.

Would have scored you 5 points.

Katy Perry, bottom left in the blue wig. She would have scored you 22.

Elton John would have scored you 77.

And Cher, the bottom right-hand corner, 9 points.

She'd have been a terrific answer. Yeah, surprising, isn't it?

There we go. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of our first round, I'm so sorry -

Richard said it mustn't happen, I was SURE it mustn't happen,

but Lorna and Joan, we are sending you away.

But only for a bit. We can't wait to see you next time.

But thanks very much for playing.

Meantime, Lorna and Joan, lovely contestants.

APPLAUSE

But, for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And so now we are down to three pairs.

At the end of this round we will have to say goodbye to another pair.

Stuart and Ian, we have to see you into the head-to-head.

Great answering there, Stuart, with Jean Reno, "Gene Reeno". Very, very well spotted.

But I have to say special commendations

reserved for Jonathan and Bethan on the far podium.

Not only our joint individual low-scorers,

but our joint team low-scorers as well.

Also the best two answers on the board.

The best two answers on the board? There was nothing pointless at all,

so you literally couldn't have scored lower in that round.

Anne and Steve, welcome. Lovely to have you here.

Good, solid answering from you. Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two today...

is Medicine.

Medicine. Can you all decide in your pairs, who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Richard. On each board we're going to show you six clues to people or

things that have advanced medicine.

You need to give us the most obscure answer. Not the sort of round you'd want to do badly on, say,

if you were in the final year of a nursing qualification, Jonathan...

LAUGHTER

..but no pressure. It's just like your finals, isn't it?

There's going to be 12 in all to have a go at at home, so best of luck.

So here is the first board of six clues to medical advances

and we've got...

I'll read those all one last time.

So, Stuart... Yes. ..how are we feeling about this board?

Not great, to be honest.

Are we feeling it's arrivederci or are we feeling...

We're feeling we know a few of them, but nothing really obscure,

I don't think. OK.

I think I'll go for...

the bottom one,

which I think is hypodermic syringe.

Hypodermic syringe, says Stuart. Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many people said it. Hypodermic syringe...

..is right.

38.

APPLAUSE

38 for hypodermic syringe.

Solid answer on podium one.

Yeah, hypodermic literally means just beneath the skin.

There we are. Thanks very much indeed. Now, Anne. Anne.

I only know a couple of them

so I'm going to for vaccination.

You're going to go for? Vaccination. The third one. Vaccination.

OK, the introduction of micro-organisms to the body.

Vaccination. Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's absolutely right. 38 is our only score so far.

57. You now have our highest score.

APPLAUSE

There's a school of thought that says there's only one disease

that's ever been totally eradicated from the earth by vaccination

and that's smallpox.

Yes, thank you very much indeed. Now then, Bethan. This board's all yours.

Do you want to talk us through it

and then select the one you want to submit?

I kind of thought I'd made a mess of this.

I should have gone second, but I'm going to go for the top one

if that's all right? Yes.

The technique that changes the shape of the cornea and eliminates

the need for spectacles, I believe that is laser eye surgery.

Laser eye surgery. Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

57 is our high score and you've passed it.

38 is our low score and you pass it. Well done.

35, once again the lowest score of the pass, Bethan.

Well played, Bethan.

Pretty tight between the three podiums there, isn't it?

Now, there's a big scorer, the second one down, which is...

Liposuction. ..liposuction.

Would have scored 77 points.

The one second from bottom is... Ventilator. ..ventilator.

And that would have scored you 63,

but the best answer is the botanist. Do you know that one?

He was an Augustinian friar. It's not Giorgio Moroder, obviously. It is not Giorgio Moroder.

It's not George Michael. Oh, it's not George Michael either? No.

That's annoying. It is Gregor Mendel. Ah.

Would have scored you 9 points. Very well done if you said that at home.

Thanks very much indeed. OK, let's look at the scores.

We're halfway through the round.

Again, Bethan with the lowest score, well done, on 35.

Bethan and Jonathan looking pretty strong at this point

but they are quite close scores this time.

Then to 38, where we find Stuart and Ian. Then 57, Anne and Steve,

so, Steve, let's hope there's a nice low-scoring one on the next board

that you know.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put six more medical advances on the board

and here they are.

I'll read those all one last time.

There we go. Sorry that took so long.

Jonathan, this is just a busman's holiday for you, isn't it?

Yeah, I was hoping I would know them and thankfully I do know all six.

It's kind of hard for me to really know, cos I know them,

but what other people don't know. Yeah.

So I'm going to go for the third one down

and say a defibrillator. Defibrillator.

Defibrillator says Jonathan.

Here's your red line. If you can get below that,

you are definitely in the head-to-head for a second time.

Let's see how many people said defibrillator.

It's right.

49.

APPLAUSE

Not bad. Takes your total up to 84.

It's a difficult dilemma, that, for Jonathan,

when it really is an area that you know a lot about,

is working out what other people don't know.

Quite a high score for that. Thanks very much. Now, Steve, Steve.

There you are on 57. The high-scorers now on 84

are Jonathan and Bethan.

26 or less we need from you.

OK, well, I'm going to go for the bottom one

and I'm going to say penicillin.

Penicillin says Steve.

Here's your red line, quite lowish.

Let's see if you can get below that with penicillin.

It's right.

58.

Very close to Anne's score in the first pass.

Takes your total up to 115.

Yeah, discovered by Alexander Fleming, of course.

Thanks, Richard. Now then, Ian.

Ian, we have a game on our hands.

You have to score 76 or less.

OK. Do you want to talk us through that board? Yeah, I'll try.

First one I think is pacemaker.

I think the second one's aspirin.

The third one I think is local anaesthetic,

but I'm not sure about the fourth one, so I'm going to go for...

..aspirin, common name for the painkiller.

Aspirin. OK, here comes your red line.

Let's see if you can get below that with aspirin.

It's right

and you've done it. Very well done.

63 for aspirin but that's good enough.

Takes your total up to 101.

Yeah, all of those would have seen you through.

Let's take a look at the scores.

It is a pacemaker.

Would have scored 52.

Local anaesthetic actually, quite a low score, at 37,

for local anaesthetic.

Do you know this last one?

I'm trying to think.

No, hormone's in the clue. Um...

Yeah, you think hormone is going to be the first letter.

Jonathan, do you know that one?

Is it home pregnancy test?

It is a home pregnancy test.

Brilliant. Very well done.

12 points. Well done if you got that at home, if you know what I mean.

LAUGHTER

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of our second round, the pair who are heading home

with our high score of 115, I'm sorry to say it's Steve and Anne.

I'm sorry we have to say goodbye to you at this stage,

but we'll see you again next time. Look forward to that very much.

Steve and Anne, thanks very much for playing.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Jonathan and Bethan, Stuart and Ian.

You're now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot, which currently stands at ?1,000.

Well, you know the deal here. Certainly Jonathan and Bethan do.

You work as a pair from here on in. You can confer.

The first pair to win two points gets through to the final

and plays for that jackpot.

Well, Jonathan and Bethan, you were in this position last time

and you went out 2-0. Mm-hm.

So, Stuart and Ian, anything can happen at this point.

Nice to see you in the head-to-head as well. Very, very well done.

Richly deserved. I think this is going to be very, very close.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

OK, here comes your first question, and it concerns...

British Sitcom Titles, Richard.

I'm going to show the titles of five British sitcoms, alongside the year they were first aired,

but they are in the form of anagrams, I'm afraid.

You have to unscramble them and give us the most obscure answer.

Thanks very much indeed.

OK, let's reveal our five anagrams, and here they come.

There we go.

Jonathan and Bethan, you've been our lowest-scoring pair so far,

so you will go first.

THEY WHISPER

So we're going to try the third one down and say My Family.

My Family. My Family say Jonathan and Bethan. Now, Stuart and Ian.

We knew that one. Yeah!

Top one's the only one we know.

The top one is the only other one we know. Only Fools And Horses.

OK, so we have My Family, we have Only Fools And Horses.

Jonathan and Bethan said My Family.

Let's see how many people said that.

It's right.

APPLAUSE

20.

20. Stuart and Ian went for Only Fools And Horses, there, at the top.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it.

It is right.

Ooh, it's...33.

APPLAUSE 33.

Closer than I thought it was going to be

but well done, Jonathan and Bethan. I didn't know any.

After one question, you're up 1-0.

Three very famous shows left on the board here as well.

Pig Order.

Is Porridge. It is Porridge.

It looks like it should be obvious, doesn't it? But it's not.

14 points for that. Fowl Test Awry.

Voted the best British TV series... Oh! ..of all time...

Yup. ..by the BFI.

Fawlty Towers. Fawlty Towers. There we are.

Would have scored 38.

Now, Sixth Hog In Pen.

It's got an X in it, that should make it easier. It should.

It's a famous show... with a famous star.

That's the first really huge show for Peter Kay.

Oh. Phoenix Nights.

Phoenix Nights. Yup.

And if you said that, you just got yourself a pointless answer,

so very well done. Very good. Thanks very much indeed.

So, here comes your second question, Stuart and Ian.

Remember, you have to win this one to stay in the game

but you get to answer it first,

so there's a little advantage to you there. Let's hope. It concerns...

Not that much of an advantage, obviously. Richard.

Yes. Simply five clues to facts about basketball.

Can you give us the most obscure answer?

OK, let's reveal our five clues, and here they come.

I'll read those all again.

Stuart and Ian will go first.

(We could guess the seconds. I mean, it could be...could be two.

(I think it's more than that. Well, say three. Yeah, or three. Yeah.

(And the film... Oh, I don't know.)

"A closely guarded player must pass,

"shoot or dribble the ball within this many seconds."

We think it's three. It's a guess.

OK, we're going to go for three seconds.

Three seconds. Now, Jonathan and Bethan, the board's all yours.

Right, so, we only know two.

What was yours?

Well, I think the 7'1" basketballer

might be Shaquille O'Neal...

but I'm not willing to guess.

And if the one I think I know is right, I owe a massive thank you

to my sister for asking me to get this for Christmas.

It took me so long to find it.

I think it's the 2005 film, based on a true story,

being Coach Carter.

Coach Carter.

That's... Yep. Is that the one you want to go for? Yes. Yes, please.

So, we've got "three" and we've got "Coach Carter".

Stuart and Ian said "three seconds".

Let's see if that's right and let's see how many people said it.

Not three seconds.

Not three seconds, which means,

now, Jonathan and Bethan,

you merely have to be right with this

but you've really taken a massive risk here. Coach Carter.

Has to be right.

If it is, you go straight through to the final.

Let's see how many people said Coach Carter.

It is right! Ooh!

Ha-ha, well done, you.

Down it goes. Still going down.

3. Brilliant answer!

APPLAUSE

Well done to Jonathan's sister.

And it means, after only two questions,

you're through to the final 2-0.

That's the way to win a Pointless head-to-head, isn't it?

Very well done.

It's a tough board, this, actually, it really is.

The top one is the only high-scorer, really.

The country is the USA. USA. Yup.

That would have scored you 32.

The closely guarded player must pass, shoot or dribble

within FIVE seconds.

Would have scored you 12 points.

The 7'1" basketballer is not Shaquille O'Neal.

It's not?

It's Wilt "The Stilt" Chamberlain.

1 point for that.

And it's ten minutes for each of the four quarters.

That would have scored you 4 points.

Look at that. 4, 1, 3, 12.

A very tough board. A low-scoring board.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. So, at the end of our head-to-head round, I'm afraid,

Stuart and Ian, you made it this far,

but then I'm afraid...

Yeah, they were tough questions for you, those ones.

We have to say goodbye at this point,

but thanks so much for playing. Stuart and Ian. Thank you. Thank you.

APPLAUSE

But for Jonathan and Bethan it's now time for our Pointless final.

Well, congratulations, Jonathan and Bethan.

You've seen off all the competition.

You have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

It's what we came for. Yep. Perfect.

Well, you now have a chance to have a go at winning our Pointless jackpot

and, at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at ?1,000.

There it is.

Well, now, you've been our lowest scorers in Round One and Round Two.

2-0 in the head-to-head.

Now, normally, statistically,

I'm saying, that heralds a jackpot win -

but, obviously, that depends on you getting a category

you like the look of.

What would you like to see? What would be a good...? Music...

Yeah, I'm really into music, so... ..films, celebrities.

Maybe geography. Maybe geography

but it depends what it is.

OK, well, as you know, you get to choose your category

from the four we put up on the board.

Let's hope there's something you like the look of up here today.

Well, we've got...

Irish actors, do you think? That's probably the lesser of all evils.

Yeah, they're all pretty evil

but I'll go for Irish actors!

Irish actors it is.

Yeah, we're looking for any feature film made for cinema,

released prior to February 2015,

that starred any of the following, please.

So, any films according to IMDB,

prior to February 2015,

that starred any of those three actors. Very best of luck.

OK, now, as always, you've got up to a minute

to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that jackpot

is for just one of those answers to be pointless. Are you ready?

Yep. Have to be. 60 seconds up on the clock. There they are.

Your time starts now.

So, I don't really know who Brendan Gleeson is, or Gabriel Byrne.

Jonathan Rhys Meyers, he was in...

Bend It Like Beckham. ..Bend It Like Beckham,

and the Tudor film, but... That's a TV show. Yeah.

Any rom-coms, can you think of?

Not starring him.

Brendan Gleeson.

I was hoping Daniel Day Lewis would come up, I know a lot about him.

Oh, I can't...

He wasn't in Notting Hill. He wasn't in...

Brendan Gleeson, I just don't even know.

Gabriel Byrne, don't know who that is.

This is really not great, is it?

Horrible.

Jonathan Rhys Meyers.

Bend It Like Beckham is the only thing I can think of. Me too.

This is... Yeah, this is the hardest thing we could have got, I think.

None of those was in Notting Hill.

Ten seconds left. He's young.

We'll just...just have to say random things, won't we?

Yeah.

Yep.

Give it our best shot. Yeah!

Your time is now up. I'm sorry.

That's all right! They were three tough categories.

Really hard. What three answers do you want to give me?

We'll guess with Notting Hill, even though we know it's not.

Notting Hill. Let's think.

Music And Lyrics. Music And Lyrics.

And the only one we think we know, Bend It Like Beckham.

Bend It Like Beckham. Bend It Like Beckham.

Will you say which category these are?

Jonathan Rhys Meyers. All three? All three.

We don't know who the other two are.

OK, and most likely to be pointless?

Bend It Like Beckham. Bend It Like Beckham goes last.

Least likely to be pointless?

Music And Lyrics. Music And Lyrics. OK, we'll put that first.

OK, well, let's put those answers up on the board, and here they are.

Well, very best of luck. Who knows?

Maybe you might have fluked it through and maybe he appears...

Maybe, to other people, the other two actors are more famous.

I just don't know. Maybe there's a pointless answer up there,

you never know. You never know.

If there were to be, Jonathan, what would you do with your prize money?

Go on holiday, definitely. We deserve it, don't we?

We'd definitely go on holiday together. NHS works us too hard.

Anything else you'd like, Bethan? I don't think so.

I think I'm in dire need of a holiday.

Dire need of a holiday. Yeah. Well, fingers crossed.

Let's hope, by some fluke,

one of those is pointless.

Music And Lyrics was your first answer,

your least confident shot at the Pointless jackpot... Yep.

..but let's find out, for ?1,000...

Jonathan Rhys Meyers, was he in Music And Lyrics,

how many people said it?

Oh, I'm sorry. We knew that. Yep.

I'm sorry, he's not in Music And Lyrics.

You have two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your second answer was Notting Hill.

He could be in that. Maybe.

Maybe he snuck in, little bit part.

Has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot of ?1,000.

Let's see how many people thought Jonathan Rhys Meyers

was in Notting Hill.

Nope.

OK. We've cleared those two ones out the way, this is the serious one.

This is the one you know is absolutely right. Yeah.

Your third and final answer.

Your best shot at a pointless answer was Bend It Like Beckham.

Jonathan Rhys Meyers - was he in it, how many of our 100 people said it?

For ?1,000. Is it pointless?

It's right.

Well, sadly, Music And Lyrics

and Notting Hill were both incorrect

but Bend It Like Beckham's taking us down through the 20s.

Into the teens. Will we go to single figures? Yes, we will.

Still going down, down to...4!

AUDIENCE: Aww!

Not bad at all. APPLAUSE

Not bad.

That's a great score, normally... Yeah.

..but I'm afraid, sadly, no pointless answer there

so I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of ?1,000.

That will roll over onto the next show,

but a very strong performance across both shows...

Thank you. ..so you can be very proud of your...

Thank you. ..Pointless careers.

And you each get a Pointless trophy to take home as well, so, well done.

Thank you. Yeah, very proud. Thanks, Jonathan and Bethan.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, most of the good answers, the big answers,

are in Brendan Gleeson and Gabriel Byrne.

If you don't know either of them, you would recognise both -

if you don't, some brilliant films, absolutely sensational actors.

Well worth checking out some of the films we're about to see.

We'll start with Jonathan Rhys Meyers.

He played George Osborne in Vanity Fair.

Not that one, but he did play George Osborne.

The only answers for his that weren't pointless

were Bend It Like Beckham, Michael Collins, Match Point -

which you were in, I think - Velvet Goldmine and Mission: Impossible 3.

Every other film was a pointless answer. Well done if you said any.

We'll move on to the brilliant Brendan Gleeson.

I love that film.

He's in loads of films. Beowulf, Far And Away, Cold Mountain,

Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part One was a pointless answer.

The ones that did score points were...

In Bruges was the biggest answer.

The Guard, Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire,

Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix, Calvary,

Kingdom Of Heaven, Michael Collins, The General and Braveheart.

All of those scored points, everything else was pointless.

And Gabriel Byrne, some big performances here as well.

Excalibur, he played Uther Pendragon.

Gothic, he's Lord Byram.

Miller's Crossing is a pointless answer, unbelievable.

That's a brilliant film and he's unbelievably good in it as well.

The Man In The Iron Mask, he was D'Artagnan.

The ones that scored points for Gabriel Byrne

were The Usual Suspects,

End Of Days, The Assassin,

Little Women and Stigmata and Ghost Ship -

but the biggest scorer The Usual Suspects,

as you'd expect, by a mile.

Very well done if you got any of those at home.

Tough luck in the studio.

The second you go home and google either of those gentlemen,

you'll know exactly who they are, I promise you.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

We have to say goodbye to you, Jonathan and Bethan, but it's been such fun having you on both shows.

Really strong performance, as I say, you can be very proud of that.

Thanks so much for playing, Jonathan and Bethan.

APPLAUSE

Sadly Jonathan and Bethan didn't win our jackpot today,

which means it rolls over onto the next show,

when we will be playing for ?2,000.

APPLAUSE

Join us next time to see if someone can win it.

Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard... Goodbye.

..and it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE