Episode 3 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong,

and welcome to Pointless, where the lowest scorers

are the biggest winners.

Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

Couple number one.

Hi, I'm Ian, I'm from Ireland, and I'm a graphic designer.

Hi, I'm Louise, I'm from Northern Ireland,

and I'm an experience designer.

-Couple number two.

-Hi, I'm Katie, I'm from Wolverhampton,

and I'm a history student.

I'm David, I'm from Wolverhampton also,

and I'm an IT consultant.

Couple number three.

I'm Simon, I'm from London, and I'm a building management engineer.

I'm Samantha, I'm from London, and I'm a complaints officer.

And finally couple number four.

Hi, I'm Cindy, I'm from Aberdeen, and I'm an account manager.

Hi, I'm Nelson, I'm also from Aberdeen,

and I'm also an account manager.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much, all of you.

We will find out more about you throughout the show as it

goes along. That just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

He is the lord of all he surveys,

and from up there he surveys quite a lot.

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya. Hey, everybody.

Afternoon.

APPLAUSE

-Good afternoon.

-Top of the afternoon to you.

-And to you.

-Two things, no, three things.

-Yes, three.

-Three things.

-That's a lot of things.

-I know it is. I'll do them quickly.

One, Simon and Samantha are back from the last show.

They joined the 200 Club, but the coward's way, in Round Two,

so it's not classic 200 Club, but they still joined it.

-Two...

-Yeah.

-Ian's beard.

-Yeah, got that.

Don't think you weren't thinking about it cos I know you were.

I have to mention that.

We've only ever had one beard bigger on this show. No, two beards bigger.

We've had Brian Blessed.

-Brian Blessed, and we had Father Christmas.

-Yeah.

So it goes Father Christmas, Brian Blessed, Ian.

That's the way we do it. And number three,

have we changed the way that the contestants introduce themselves?

Didn't they used to... just one person would do it, and they would say about both of them?

-Yeah, you're right!

-And now they both do!

-Now they both do!

And we've done that without even thinking.

We haven't even questioned it because we're such goons.

-Until now.

-Until now.

-Until now, I thought it was...

I thought that was, yeah, you're right.

David and Katie never mentioned they were father and daughter.

Exactly. You don't find out because they don't say, do they?

-But they are father and daughter.

-Absolutely they are.

As are Ian and Louise, weirdly!

LAUGHTER

-Oh, this is going to be fun, isn't it?

-I think so.

OK, well, thank you very much. Now, all our questions on Pointless

have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants are trying to find the obscure answers

those 100 people didn't get.

Of course, everyone's trying to find a pointless answer that

none of our 100 people gave, and every time that happens,

we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Great news, Bec and Mark didn't win the jackpot last time.

Terrible news for Bec and Mark, but it means we add another

£1,000 to it, and today's jackpot is a meaningful £3,250. Look at that!

APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

OK, remember, the pair with the highest score

at the end of each round will be eliminated,

and at this stage of the game

there is to be no conferring between the pairs.

Our first category today is...

Beverages. First time we've ever had that as a category, I believe.

Yes, it's a first time for Beverages.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first

and who is going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

Brilliant. And the question concerns...

There we go. Tea And Coffee, Richard.

On each board I'm going to show you seven descriptions of a type of tea,

coffee or other herbal infusion.

Can you tell us what they are, please?

There's going to be seven on each board,

14 in all to have a go at at home.

That's very exciting indeed.

OK, so, we are looking for the names of the teas or coffees or

herbal infusions described by these clues.

Here's our first board of seven.

I'm going to read those again, very quickly.

-Ian, welcome to Pointless.

-Thanks.

-Very good to have you here.

We didn't dwell on the moustache, though. We talked about the beard.

-Mm.

-The moustache, beautifully tended!

Look at that. What's the span of the moustache?

-Have you ever measured it?

-It can go into my eyes.

-I measure up.

-OK, and do you wax it?

Er, oil it twice a week, wax it once a week.

-What d'you use, an almond oil? A rose oil?

-Almond oil, yeah.

-Look at that!

-That's very good.

-Aren't I the man, everybody?! Yeah!

Look at that. Very good. Ian, what d'you do?

I'm a graphic designer.

Excellent. Where are you based?

I'm based in London. I'm a freelance graphic designer,

so I work all around London, different advertising agencies.

-Good stuff. Now, teas and coffees.

-OK.

-Teas and coffees.

When it came up, I thought, "The only one I know is tea."

Erm...

Come on, a man in your profession must know his way around...

It's just started coming through. I know a few of them,

trying to think of the lowest one.

So I'll try, "Coffee made with steamed milk

"popularised in New Zealand in the 1980s," flat white.

Flat white, Ian. Let's see if it's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said flat white.

It's a good answer, 16!

APPLAUSE

-16.

-Well played, Ian. Very good start.

One of those things we didn't have till a few years ago, flat white.

-I know!

-Now you have 'em all over the place.

Took a long time to get here from New Zealand.

Like salted caramel and pulled pork.

Didn't used to have 'em a few years ago, now they're on every menu ever.

-Oh!

-There's a dispute between Australia

and New Zealand as to who invented the flat white.

That could turn messy, couldn't it?

-It really could turn messy, but delicious.

-Oh, absolutely!

Very good, thank you, Richard.

OK, David, welcome. What do you do?

-Er, I'm an IT consultant.

-I hear that you were in a band in the '80s.

Er, I was, I was in a student band called 154.

And you toured all over the place with all kinds of massive acts.

Yes, all over the UK, yes.

-And who were the biggest bands you played with?

-Er, R.E.M.

Erm, Sade, Simple Minds...

-So huge stadiums?

-Er, not quite.

Just before they were sort of, erm, stadium-type gigs.

At that time it was more sort of, er, cinemas,

theatres and nightclubs.

But you'd come on as the support for about half an hour before they did?

-Yes, and get booed off and...

-Oh, really?

Actually, yeah, the more I think, that's...

Yeah, that's not perhaps that much fun.

Anyway, David, teas, coffees?

Er, yeah, er, good, er, good board for me, this one.

I'm going to pick the "Bergamot flavoured China tea

"that shares its name with a British Prime Minister" as Earl Grey.

Earl Grey. Very good indeed. Earl Grey, says David.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Earl Grey.

Ooh.

Ooh, David, 80, ouch!

APPLAUSE

You're in "hot water" there, David!

-Put me out of my misery, Richard.

-Yes, talking of hot water...

-Yeah.

-It was apparently specially blended to fit

the water at his ancestral home, which is Howick Hall, Earl Grey.

So he had this special blend made

because the water was an unusual taste.

-Now, er, Samantha.

-Yes.

-We discovered last time that you are in fact from Australia...

-Yes.

-..and have only lived in the British Isles for two years.

-That's right.

Did you take a lot of persuading to come on this show?

Not really, we were really excited and thought we'd do really good,

and then obviously it was...

a very good effort on our part.

But this board I'm actually really happy about, apart

from the fact you said that comes from New Zealand, not Australia.

There we are. OK, where do you stand on the flat white, then?

It's definitely from Australia.

OK, well, that's surprising.

Erm, so, Samantha, what are you going to go for?

-A nice international... This is good.

-It is, it's good.

An international board for you.

I actually know a few of these,

and I sort of want to take a punt on the one at the bottom,

but, one, I'm not sure how to pronounce it,

and two, I'll just get in so much trouble if I get it wrong,

so I think I'm going to play it safe

and go for the French coffee, which is a cafe au lait.

Sorry, French people, cos that probably wasn't pronounced right.

-That's pretty much exactly how you pronounce it, I think.

-Bang on.

Let's see if it's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said cafe au lait.

It's right. Well, 80 is our high score - you've passed that already.

16 is our low.

You're at 28. Very good indeed.

Good answer.

APPLAUSE

-Yes, well played, Samantha. Perfectly good pronunciation.

-Yes.

-I would've thought.

-I think the French wouldn't even have noticed.

Of course in Spain, it's what bullfighters drink, isn't it?

-Oh, cafe ole!

-Yes.

LAUGHTER

Thank you very much!

Nelson, welcome to Pointless.

Lovely to have you here, all the way from Aberdeen. What do you do up there?

I'm an account manager for an E-procurement company

and I'm also a freelance fitness instructor as well.

What was the first thing? Account manager for a what company?

-An E-procurement company.

-What's that?

It deals with E-tendering,

so, contracts related to the government

and sends it out to suppliers.

Fantastic. What do you do in your spare time, Nelson?

I like to go to the gym,

I actually teach classes as well as a freelance fitness instructor,

go to the cinema, and have a few nights out as well.

So, do you teach people in their homes, or do people come into the gym?

No, into the gyms and studios.

OK, very good indeed. How are we feeling about tea and coffee?

I would love some right now.

-LAUGHTER

-Very good. Two sugars, please! What are you going to go with?

This board is all yours. If you fancy, you can go all the way through and fill in the blanks.

I don't know three of them,

but I'm going to go with the first one,

which I think is chai.

Chai, says Nelson. Chai sounds good to me.

Let's if it's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people said chai.

34.

APPLAUSE

Not bad at all, Nelson.

Well played, Nelson. Very good answer.

Let's go through the rest of these ones now.

There's a pointless answer on the board

and it's the cold, sweetened coffee,

and it's called mazagran.

Mazagran. Very well done if you said that.

The frothy coffee is, of course...

..cappuccino. Big scorer, as you'd expect, 76.

Samantha, what were you going to go for?

I was going to say mate or mat-ay...

Yes, mat-ay exactly.

Would've been a very good answer, would've scored five points.

-Wow.

-Very well done if you said that at home. Mat-ay.

Have you heard of a mazagran?

A mazagran? No, but I do have a bit of a headache.

-It sounds like a headache pill.

-It does.

Or something you might dial up for someone's stag party, maybe.

I don't know.

LAUGHTER

I don't know what it does, mazagran, but it just...

-It was amazing, we had shots and...

-Yeah.

-..he booked a mazagran...

-He booked a mazagran who turned up.

-LAUGHTER

Ah. Brilliant. We're halfway through the round, let's look at those scores.

16, the best score of the pass.

Ian, well done with your flat white there.

Then up to 28, where we find Samantha and Simon,

up to 34, Nelson and Cindy

and then all the way up to 80, David and Katie.

Katie, how are you on your hot beverages?

No, not good at all.

Well, I hope, maybe there will be something in there that you'll,

you'll find inspiration from.

-I hope so.

-We need a low score from you. Best of luck.

We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put seven more descriptions

of hot drinks on the board, and here they come.

We've got...

I'll read those all one last time.

-Cindy?

-Hi.

Ah, welcome.

Welcome. So what do you do up in Aberdeen?

I work in the same place as Nelson, also an account manager

and we source the right contracts for the suppliers.

Tenders wise, public sector tenders.

I see. Whose idea was it to come on the show?

-My idea.

-Was Nelson the obvious choice?

Yeah, we're best friends.

Cindy, what do you do when you're not at work?

I like to go to Nelson's gym classes. I'm a regular attendant.

I like to go to Inverness, as well. That's where I'm originally from

and I also like to run and go to concerts, as well.

Very good, indeed. OK, listen, you're on 34.

The high scorers are Katie and David on 80.

45, or less, sees you into Round Two.

I think I know a couple on the board

but I'm going to go for the top one, which is a drink made from

milk tea and tapioca balls.

We actually had some last night.

I'm going to go with bubble tea.

-Bubble tea?

-Yes.

Bubble tea.

There's your red line, Cindy. If you get below that with bubble tea,

you are into the next round.

Let's see if it's right and how many people said bubble tea.

It's right!

Absolutely brilliant!

Came down to three - very well done, indeed, Cindy.

APPLAUSE

37 is your total.

Very impressive.

Very well played, Cindy.

Originating from 1980s Taiwan.

You get lots of high streets now with bubble tea.

-I've never heard of it.

-Have you never heard of it?

-I'm so far behind the curve.

I was up in Cambridge recently, there's lots and lots of bubble tea establishments up and down there.

Very good. Thank you, Richard. Now, Simon.

How well has Samantha done?

-Much better.

-She's set you up so well there.

I mean, literally - 51 or less gets you into the next round.

Once again, I think you might make it into Round Two.

Simon, remind us what you do?

I'm a building services engineer.

And remind us what you like doing when you're not doing

all that engineering for building services?

Yeah, well, I'm into music a lot.

I play the drums often, listen to vinyl, which sounds pretentious

but, yeah, all sorts of stuff really. Go to gigs.

Good stuff. Now, anyway listen, Simon, what are you going to go for?

51 or less is your target.

So there's a couple I think potential safe bets,

but I'm going to go for the very strong concentrated coffee

in Italian is ristretto.

Ristretto? Ristretto, says Simon. Here is your red line.

Get below that with ristretto, you are in Round Two.

Let's see how many people said ristretto.

It's right!

You are through to Round Two, very well done.

That's a great score, look at that, two!

APPLAUSE

A fantastic start to this pass.

That takes your total up to 30. Very, very well done.

Good scoring so far, isn't it?

That's like an espresso but with half the water.

Thanks very much, indeed.

-Katie?

-Hello.

-Hello, welcome. What do you do at university, Katie?

-I do history.

-History.

-Yeah.

I had to get that out of you, in case we have a history question coming up later.

-What year are you in?

-I'm in first year.

-Enjoying it?

-Yeah, yeah, it's great fun. It's really good fun.

I'm in exam period at the moment.

XANDER DRAWS BREATH

-What are you doing here?

-Fingers crossed.

It's more important!

Thank you, that's exactly the answer I was looking for.

-You're hoping to do well in your exams?

-Yes, hopefully. Yes.

What else do you do at university? What other things fill your time?

I swim quite a lot. I like baking.

I mean, I would say I like going to coffee shops

but I think that's sort of out of the window now.

-You say that, well...

-Oh...

You're in quite a sticky position, Katie,

because you are the high scorers by some way.

-Anyway, listen, best of luck.

-Yes.

If you can find a thing out there that scores minus something,

-that would be brilliant.

-Yeah.

I know a couple and they're going to be quite high-scoring.

I am going to go for the second one, a coffee flavoured with chocolate

that shares its name with a port in Yemen and I'm going to go for mocha.

Mocha, says Katie.

No red line for you, I'm afraid, as you're the high scorers.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said, mocha.

It's right.

-62.

-APPLAUSE

I'm sorry, Katie. 142 is your total.

Unlucky, Katie, a big score

-but the good news is it's a better score than your dad.

-Yeah.

LAUGHTER

-Thanks, Richard. Now, Louise...

-Hello.

-Great news.

-You're through to the next round.

-Yes.

-Fabulous!

What do you do, Louise?

I'm an experience designer...

-Oh...

-So I design websites and apps.

Oh, I see. Why don't you call that a website and app designer?

It kind of...

..segments into different.

I like that, an experience designer.

-I design experiences on the web.

-On the web?

-Yeah.

-Very good.

Now then, as I say, you're through so it doesn't really matter what you

go for, except for your own kudos, obviously.

Do you want to talk us through the board, fill in all the...

So the Italian coffee whose name is the Italian word for milk

is latte.

The last one, I think, is English Breakfast

but I think I'm going to go for the herbal infusion,

its name derived from the Afrikaans for red bush, as rooibos.

-Rooibos?

-Yes.

-Rooibos, says Louise.

Let's see if that's right. No red line, you're already through,

but how many people said rooibos?

It's right.

-20.

-APPLAUSE

20 for rooibos takes your total up to 36.

Well played, Louise, you took us through the board very nicely.

You're right about latte, the Italian coffee, it's a big scorer.

It would have scored you 84.

You're right about English Breakfast, the bottom answer.

English Breakfast tea, 36 points for that.

The other one on the board is...

-Lapsang souchong.

-Lapsang souchong, yeah. That would have scored 24.

The best answer on the board was ristretto and next best, bubble tea,

-so very well played.

-Thank you very much indeed.

At the end of our first round, the pair who are heading home

with a high score of 142, I'm so sorry,

-father and daughter team, Katie and David.

-I know.

-Well, it was tough but no wrong answers.

-Yeah.

-No wrong answers...

-That's the main thing.

-..which is great, you can hold your heads up high.

Go out and have a hot drink, maybe. We will see you again next time,

we'll look forward to that very much indeed. Thanks very much, Katie and David!

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And so we're down to three pairs.

Obviously, we'll have to say goodbye to another pair at the end of this round.

I wonder who it's going to be?

Simon and Samantha, our lowest scoring pair in that round

but beware, as Round Two last time you joined the 200 Club.

-Yes, we did.

-Please no 400 Club today.

Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two today is...

Chemistry... Samantha, that's international.

It's the same chemistry I promise as it is in Australia. We checked.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going first, who's going second

and whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is, here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

Chemical elements beginning with a letter in the first half of the alphabet.

Yes, we're looking for the name of any chemical element on the periodic table, as of March 2015,

that begins with an A all the way through to a M, please.

That's the periodic table according to our friends at the IUPAC.

-And they are our friends.

-LAUGHTER

Anyone watching from the International Union of Pure and Applied Chemistry -

-hiya, we'll see you...

-We will see you...

-Thursday evening.

Yo-ho, yes, will we ever. What fun!

Thanks very much, indeed.

So, Louise, straight in to you.

What is the most obscure element whose name begins with

a letter in the first half of the alphabet you can summon up?

I do have two in my head.

So I think I'm going to go for the slightly more obscure

one of those and go for Europrium.

-Europrium.

-Europrium.

OK, let's see if Europrium exists and, if it does,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Europrium.

Louise, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, not Europrium.

Not an element yet.

I'm afraid that scores you 100 points.

Sorry, Louise, no Europrium, I'm afraid.

-Blame the IUPAC.

-Yeah.

So, Simon, chemical elements starting with

a letter between A and M in the alphabet?

There's a few in my head which sounds like I'm literally just making them up out of the blue.

-Mm-hm.

-That sounds promising!

I think I'm just going to have to play it safe and say aluminium.

OK, aluminium. Why not?

Let's see if it's right and how many of our of 100 people said aluminium.

It is right.

24.

APPLAUSE

Nothing wrong with that, Simon. 24 for aluminium.

You can afford to play it safe there, Simon.

It used to be called alumium,

and then it was aluminum, which is why Americans still call it

aluminum because it still remains aluminum in their dictionary.

-Then it was changed to aluminium.

-Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

OK, now Cindy.

Cindy, is this good for you?

Oh, I'm kind of dodgy with my chemistry.

I failed Higher in school so it's been a while.

I think I'm going to go for Californium.

A great Pointless favourite, Californium.

Let's see if it's right and see how many of our 100 people said Californium.

It's right.

Well, 100 was our highest score, we've passed that,

24 is our low.

You've passed that.

-Two!

-APPLAUSE

Two for Californium.

Californium just gently climbing up the awareness index, isn't it?

It's absolutely one of those elements,

that people don't know from chemistry lessons, they know from Pointless.

-I think it's definitely true.

-Even scientists.

-Even scientists, they've never heard of it.

-I think we discovered Californium.

-We did. On Series 3, I think.

That's exactly right, it's under my desk.

So three points, two points, Cindy, very well played so far.

Thank you, Richard. We're halfway through the round so let's take a look at those scores.

Two, Cindy, very well done,

a lovely low score for Cindy and Nelson.

Up to 24 where we find Simon and Samantha.

Up to 100, Louise and Ian.

Who knows what happens in the next pass, Ian.

It may be that someone else scores high,

so in which case a low score from you is all we need.

-Best of luck with that. How is your chemistry?

-It's OK.

-Good.

Best of luck. We're coming back down the line.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, so Nelson, we are looking for any chemical element whose

name appears in the first half of the alphabet.

I'm trying to go through the alphabet and trying to think of that

chemistry song, that names all of the elements.

I'm going to go with boron.

OK, boron, says Nelson. Your red line is coming up nice and high.

Get below that with boron, you sail through to the head-to-head.

Let's see how many of our 100 said boron.

It's right and you're through. Very well done.

-13.

-APPLAUSE

Another very impressive low score from the far podium there.

-Your total is 15.

-Well played, Nelson.

-Boron, it's the worst named of all the elements.

-Yeah.

-Don't you think?

Terrible, boron.

Boring and moron...

And you think I'm an element, for goodness' sake!

-Thanks, Richard. Samantha?

-Yes.

-You're on 24.

-You need 75 or less to go through to the head-to-head.

-Yes...

Erm, science is awful for me.

So, I mean, I don't even know if this is correct

and if it is correct, it's probably well known.

I'm going to say hydrogen.

I've heard of it. I've heard of it.

Here is your red line. If you get below that with hydrogen,

you're through to the next round, for sure. Let's see how many of our 100 said hydrogen.

You've done it!

-37.

-APPLAUSE

Well done, Samantha, 61 is your total.

Well played, Samantha. It makes these chemistry rounds easier, doesn't it,

-when someone scores 100 on the first podium.

-It really does.

Yeah, now Ian, I'm sorry, I'm afraid you're the high scorers,

even before you've given your answer.

But, for fun, let's have a chemical element from you.

Well, the answer Louise gave, she stole from me on the way down.

So I always prepare one element for Pointless.

-You should.

-And the one I prepared for this one was Europium.

Europium. Oh, Louise, let's see how far down the column Europium goes.

I hope this isn't too painful.

No red line, I'm afraid, because you're the high scorers.

It's right.

Oh, very well done, indeed!

Some of that glory is yours, Louise.

It's a pointless answer and adds £250 to today's jackpot,

takes the total up to £3,500.

It scores you nothing,

leaves your total still at a punishingly high 100 but, as I say,

you can share that glory because you were nearly there, Louise.

What a generous thing to do, Ian.

What a parting shot.

But, I'm sorry, you're still the high scorers.

Yeah, Europium, named after the heavy metal band, Europe.

Now, let's take a look at the pointless answers. There's quite a few pointless answers out there.

Well done if you said any of those.

Europium, there we go.

Note the lack of a R there.

There are a few others, holmium, lawrencium

and dysprosium, also pointless answers. Very well done if you said any of those.

Let's take a look at the top three, the ones that most of our 100 people said.

I would've thought that'd be higher.

XANDER CHUCKLES Thank you.

Thank you very much indeed.

So at the end of that round, our second round, I'm afraid,

it's Ian and Louise who are leaving with a high score of 100.

A sort of bittersweet experience that round.

-You were so nearly there and had you just dropped that R, Louise.

-I know.

You might have gone soaring through and Ian might have come in with another one.

-I knew two more of them.

-Two more pointless ones?

-Yeah.

Ian, now you tell us.

Listen, we've got so much more to look forward to when we see you next time

when I'm sure you will do even better.

In the meantime, thanks very much for playing. Ian and Louise, great contestants.

APPLAUSE

For Cindy and Nelson and Simon and Samantha, it's now time

for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Cindy and Nelson, Simon and Samantha,

you are now one step closer to the final and a

chance to play for our jackpot, which currently stands at £3,500.

APPLAUSE

So here's the point where we decide who gets to play for that

jackpot and we do that by making you go head-to-head.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for the jackpot.

The difference is, of course, you are now allowed to confer.

Samantha, I think this is where you can defer to Simon

if there are any things you're not sure about.

Anything that happened more than two years ago in the British Isles.

-Yeah.

-I take my hat off to you, that's incredibly brave.

It is difficult, particularly like soap operas, or personalities.

No, nearly all our soap operas are Australian, don't worry about that.

If the questions are about Neighbours, I can handle that.

You'd be surprised.

Cindy and Nelson, an exemplary performance on today's show,

really fantastic, low-scoring answers all the way through

and there you are, our golden couple.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question and it concerns...

-Time magazine's influential people of 2014.

-Richard?

I'm going to show you five pictures now of people who

appeared on that list. Can you tell us the most obscure, please.

OK, let's reveal our five people and here they are. We have got...

There we are. Cindy and Nelson, you've been our low scorers

throughout the show so far so you get to go first.

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

OK, we know two, C and E,

but I think we're going to go for E for Miley Cyrus.

Miley Cyrus say Cindy and Nelson. Miley Cyrus.

Simon and Samantha, the rest of the board is all yours,

talk us through it.

-OK, so we think A is Edward Snowden.

-B is Vladimir Putin. C is...

-Cristiano Ronaldo.

-Don't know who that lady is.

-Not sure who D is.

And E, we agree with them that it's Miley Cyrus.

-Can we go A, please? Edward Snowden.

-OK, Edward Snowden.

So, we have Miley Cyrus and Edward Snowden.

Cindy and Nelson have said Miley Cyrus is E.

Let us find out if the 100 agree.

35.

APPLAUSE

35. Meanwhile, Simon and Samantha

have said Edward Snowden for A.

Let's see how many of our 100 people agreed with that.

Will he beat Miley Cyrus?

Yes, he will.

There we go. 10.

APPLAUSE

Well done, Simon and Samantha. After one question, you are up 1-0.

Very well played. Edward Snowden, a very good answer.

You were right about Vladimir Putin.

Big scorer, though, 87 points for Vladimir. He'll be pleased with that.

Cristiano Ronaldo is C. Another big scorer. Would've scored you 64.

And D is a pointless answer. Very well done if you said it.

She used to be a supermodel, now a campaigner.

it's Christy Turlington Burns.

Very well done if you said that. It's a pointless answer.

Thank you very much indeed. OK, so here comes your second question.

Simon and Samantha, you get to answer it first but Cindy

and Nelson, you have to win this one to stay in the game. Best of luck.

It concerns...

The Channel Islands, Richard.

Five clues to facts about the Channel Islands.

Can you give us the most obscure answer?

OK, let's reveal our five clues and here they come.

We've got...

I'll read those one last time.

There we are. Simon and Samantha will go first.

Samantha looking supremely confident.

I don't even know where they are.

I think they're near the Channel.

-She only just discovered what that is.

-Yep.

-I've got one though.

It's all on Simon so on you go.

OK, we're going to go for the top answer and it's Matthew Le Tissier.

Matthew Le Tissier says Simon, Matthew Le Tissier.

Now, Cindy and Nelson, what are you going to go for?

We're struggling a bit.

We thought we knew the capital of Guernsey but we don't.

We're just going to say for the third, island that is

home to the Channel Islands' only railway - United Kingdom.

United Kingdom. OK. OK.

A spoilt ballot paper, we'll call that, shall we?

Eh, so Simon and Samantha have gone for Matt Le Tissier.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how

many of our 100 people said that for "Le God."

26.

APPLAUSE

That might be a winning score, Simon.

I have a hunch but we'll find out.

Cindy and Nelson have gone for the United Kingdom -

the island that is home to the Channel Islands' only railway.

Let's find out if that is correct.

Bad luck, I'm sorry,

that was a board that didn't agree with you there,

Cindy and Nelson, but it means, Simon and Samantha, after only two

questions, you are through to the final 2-0 so very well done.

APPLAUSE

Very well played.

And on the plus side, the United Kingdom does have a railway

so you were thinking along the right lines.

Now, the capital of Guernsey is St Peter Port.

Would've scored 22.

Now, the island that is home to the Channel Islands'

only railway is Alderney.

Alderney the answer there.

Very well played if you said that, would've scored 7 points.

-The largest of the Channel Islands also the largest scorer.

-Jersey.

Jersey, 57 points.

And the Nazi occupation started in, it would've been an easy one

to guess because there was only a few years it could've been, 1940.

Ended in 1945.

-19 points for that.

-What kind of railway do they have in Alderney?

I'm thinking it's a little narrow gauge one.

They've got one of the bullet trains.

LAUGHTER

I'm picturing something with...

You can get from one end of Alderney to the other

on a bullet train in 4.1 seconds.

LAUGHTER

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, I'm afraid the pair who are going to be leaving us

at the end of the head-to-head round, Cindy and Nelson.

You played like a dream throughout the show so far.

Great news for us though, we get to see you again next time

but thanks very much, Cindy and Nelson.

-Wonderful contestants.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

But for Simon and Samantha, it's now time for our Pointless final.

APPLAUSE

Congratulations, Simon and Samantha,

you have fought off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy so very well done.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £3,500.

APPLAUSE

But what a story! What a tale of Pointless heroism.

Last time, you went out in Round Two, new members of the 200 Club.

Came from behind as the non-golden couple,

if you see what I mean, in the head-to-head and you took it 2-0.

Amazing!

Yeah, I mean this is a kind of fairytale Pointless story

or at least it will be if you win the jackpot.

What will help you win the jackpot?

-Luck.

-Pure luck.

-I'm afraid that came up yesterday but...

Well, listen, as always, you get to choose your category

from the four we put up on the board behind me.

Let us see what today's choices are. Good luck.

Well, we've got...

We think we're going to have to go

with Classic Albums from the '80s, yeah?

-Yeah.

-Yeah, the second one, please.

Classic Albums from the '80s, OK.

Very, very best of luck.

We're looking for any tracks on the original UK

release of any of the following albums, please.

So any track that was on the original UK release of...

-Very, very best of luck.

-OK. There we are.

Now, as always,

you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that jackpot is just one pointless answer.

-Are you ready?

-BOTH:

-Yep.

OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

-How good are you with any of those albums?

-U2, Joshua Tree.

-I hate U2.

-Red Hill Mining Town.

-Yep.

-Running To Stand Still.

-Yep.

I've got to think that might be quite low.

-Em, I don't know what's on The Cure's...

-No, cos...

-Yeah, I know a lot of Cure songs but...

-Rio might have...

..Wild Boys on it. Maybe, it might be a bit too early.

I think we might have to go with...

We could also have a go at one of the Duran Duran ones

and go with the U2 but if you know three off U2

and you're certain about them, we might as well go for those.

-I think we might be best...

-Do you think it's safer?

-Yeah.

OK, so we'll have...

-Ten seconds left.

-..Running To Stand Still, Red Hill Mining Town and...

Where The Streets Have No Name. We'll just go with that.

OK, that is your time up. I now need your three answers. What are they?

OK, so the least likely is Where The Streets Have No Name.

Where The Streets Have No Name.

-Red Hill Mining Town.

-Red Hill Mining Town.

-And Running To Stand Still.

-And Running To Stand Still.

-And all of those are from...

-U2.

-..the Joshua Tree.

So, you think your least likely is

Where The Streets Have No Name so we'll put that first.

-What is your most likely to be pointless?

-Red Hill Mining Town.

Red Hill Mining Town goes third.

OK, well, let's pop those up on the board in that order then

and here they are.

We've got Where The Streets Have No Name, Running To Stand Still

and Red Hill Mining Town.

Well, very, very best of luck.

Your first answer, the one you thought was probably least

likely to be pointless, was Where The Streets Have No Name.

Now, three very good answers up there.

Let's just assume one of them is pointless

and you win that jackpot, £3,500. What would you do with that?

-Simon, you first.

-I'd pretty much go away travelling.

You'd pretty much go away?

Yeah, I would just get on a plane and go, to be honest.

-We were planning on going to Cuba so...

-Do that?

-Exactly.

-Do you go together?

-Yeah.

-Very good. Anything else you'd like to do?

Anything you'd like to get while you're out there?

-Some cigars maybe?

-Yeah, maybe, why not?

We could just extend the trip maybe.

We were going to go to South America as well this year but we're

a bit too broke to do both so it could sort of work out well for us.

-Yeah, just keep on going, really.

-Very good.

Well, very, very best of luck.

All of your answers are U2 - Joshua Tree tracks.

Let's hope one of them is pointless.

The first one was Where The Streets Have No Name.

If this is right, if this is pointless, you will win £3,500.

Let's see how many people said it.

Well, it's right. That's the first thing it had to be.

Let's see how far down the column it goes.

Where The Streets Have No Name, as you said,

probably one of the better-known tracks from the album.

It's taking us way down to 11. Wow.

APPLAUSE

This is looking very promising indeed for your subsequent answers.

Unfortunately, not a pointless answer, 11 people got it,

but still that's a better score that I think you would have imagined.

-Surprised actually.

-I knew that song.

-Very strong indeed.

OK, only two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your second answer is Running To Stand Still.

Also from the Joshua Tree. Let's find out.

If it's pointless, it'll win you £3,500.

How many people said Running To Stand Still?

Well, it is also correct.

Your first answer, Where The Streets Have No Name,

took us all the way down to 11.

Running To Stand Still takes us down through the 20s, into the teens.

Will it be pointless? Down it goes, still going down.

You've done it! Very well done indeed!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Brilliant. Very well done. Absolutely fantastic.

There we go! Very well done indeed. Congratulations!

Running To Stand Still is a pointless answer.

Havana, here we come!

You are taking home our jackpot of £3,500. Very, very well done indeed.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Yeah, who would have ever thought listening to that album,

Simon, it would win you £3,500.

Red Hill Mining Town, your other answer, also a pointless answer.

Very well done.

APPLAUSE

Let's take a look at the pointless answers in all the different

categories, see if you got one at home.

Let's start with Rio.

You could've had Hold Back The Rain, Last Chance On The Stairway,

New Religion, The Chauffeur.

Those were the only pointless answers on that album.

Well done if you said one of those four.

Joshua Tree, there's Red Hill Mining Town and Running To Stand Still.

Exit, Trip Through Your Wires and Mothers Of The Disappeared.

Those were the other pointless answers on Joshua Tree.

And Disintegration by The Cure,

you could've had Last Dance, Prayers For Rain, The Same Deep Water

As You, Untitled or Homesick - all of those pointless answers.

Very well done if you said any of those at home

and congratulations in the studio. Terrific performance.

Thanks, Richard.

Well, thanks once again to our winning players,

Simon and Samantha, who go away with today's jackpot of £3,500.

Very well done.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Join us next time when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE