Episode 42 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong, and welcome to Pointless,

the show where we are always striving to find the most obscure answers.

Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

And couple number one.

Hi, my name is Helen, I'm from Tamworth in Staffordshire.

And this is my little sister, Pippa, from Burton-on-Trent.

Couple number two.

Hi, I'm Linda, I'm from Bootle originally,

and this is my partner, Barrie, from Bolton.

-Couple number three.

-Hi, I'm Dave, from Welling in Kent,

and this is my best buddy Stuart, from Fleet in Hampshire.

-And finally, couple number four.

-Hello, I'm Sam, I'm from Kent.

This is my girlfriend, Maddy, and she's from London.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Well, thanks very much to all of you.

We'll find out more about you throughout the show as it goes along.

So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce -

now he's sitting uncomfortably, we can begin.

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya. Hey, everybody.

APPLAUSE

-Afternoon to you.

-And to you.

-What a fun show we had last time.

-Wasn't it?

-Really, really good fun.

And we've got only one returning pair from that show,

Barrie from Bolton and Linda from Bootle. They're on podium two.

We didn't see much of them, but they made themselves known

in the one round they were with us.

I don't think Barrie stopped talking

and I don't think Linda stopped laughing

at any point during that first round.

Something's happened since last time,

because Linda has now announced herself as "originally from Bootle".

That's progress.

That is interesting.

So you think between the last show and this one

she's moved in with Barrie from Bolton?

I'm just saying they might have started the conversation.

That's very interesting. We'll find out, won't we?

Something is up. Welcome to our three new pairs as well.

It's going to be a long recording

if any of you are anything like the people on podium two.

ALEXANDER LAUGHS

Well, we shall see.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Now, Andy and Jo didn't win the jackpot last time,

so we add another £1,000 to that.

So today's jackpot starts off an astonishing £5,250.

You see, there we are. APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

Now, all you have to remember

is that the pair with the highest score at the end of each round

will be eliminated -

that's it, that's all we have to know.

Our first category this afternoon is...

International Football. Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

Euro 2016 teams as they could.

Euro 2016 teams.

We're looking for the name of any team

who took part in the qualifying stages

for the Euro 2016 tournament, please.

So any football team who took part

in the qualifying for that tournament, please.

The one country we won't allow is France, cos they're the host of the tournament,

so they didn't take part in the qualifying.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Now, Pippa, a very, very warm welcome to you. Here from Burton-on-Trent.

Yes, yes. Beer country.

Beer country. Exactly. What do you do, Pippa?

I'm what is known as an operational security manager.

Which means I get to shout at people a lot about what they do wrong.

That's fantastic. In what sort of arena do you shout at people

-about things they're doing wrong?

-Information security.

-I see.

-Passwords, restricted information, stuff like that.

I'm just going to ask your sister something.

Is this something Pippa's always liked doing?

Yeah, she's always very bossy. She usually wears all black

so she's quite suited to being someone who's in charge.

OK. Very good. Pippa, what are your hobbies,

outside of shouting at people?

-Football.

-Mm.

Dobermans. And bingo.

Not necessarily in that order.

Football, Dobermans and bingo.

Now, football - look at this.

Erm, yes. I'm going to play very, very safe,

and I'm going to go Italy.

Italy, says Pippa. Italy.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Italy.

It's right.

44.

APPLAUSE

44 for Italy. Not bad.

Gets the show off to a good start. Thank you, Richard.

Yeah, finalists in 2012, Italy.

A pretty big score, but it's tough on that first podium, I have to say.

The good news is Round Two is about Dobermans and Round Three is about bingo, so...

Thanks very much, Richard. Now, Barrie, welcome back.

-Hiya.

-Now, what was it? It was our Rogers round last time.

We had a board of Rogers.

LINDA CACKLES There we go, that's Linda gone!

Yep. Good. You gave us Roger Bannister.

Linda gave us... Oh, hang on, Roger Savage,

instead of Roger De Courcey.

But still, anyway, Barrie, it's lovely to have you here.

Remind us what you do, Barrie.

-Retired.

-You're retired. In Bolton.

-Yeah.

-What's the development between you and Linda?

Something very exciting's happened. She's formerly from Bootle.

Did you pick up on that one?

She's half a week at my place now.

LAUGHTER Very good!

Barrie, what are you going to go for on Euro 2016 qualifiers?

I could go safe. I'm tempted to try...

I don't know, I might get 100, you see.

I'll go for Spain, I'll play it safe first time.

OK. Spain, says Barrie.

Let's see how many of our 100 said Spain.

It's right. 44's our only score so far.

59 for Spain.

APPLAUSE

Three-time winners, defending champions, Spain.

-Not going too obscure thus far, are we?

-No, no.

Not so much.

No. Until now, Stuart.

Welcome to Pointless, good to have you here.

-What do you do, Stuart?

-I'm retired now, Xander, I'm pleased to say.

-What did you do?

-For most of my career

I worked for a large multinational company,

where I met this reprobate here, in their treasury department.

What do you do now? What fills your time?

What fills my time? Erm...

I do family history research.

I can't trace my ancestry

back to William the Conqueror, unfortunately,

but, you know...

-How far have you got?

-I've got back to the 1600s.

-That's exciting. Whereabouts?

-Wiltshire and Essex.

-Very good.

Do you go round churchyards and things like that?

We have been to some churchyards. It was quite embarrassing,

we went to one churchyard and my then-ten-year-old son

actually found the graveyard we were looking for,

whereas we'd looked everywhere else and he said, "Oh, here it is, Dad!"

Clever. Now, Stuart, what are you going to go for?

-We've had some quite high scores so far.

-Yeah.

I'm going to go for the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia.

ALEXANDER CHUCKLES

The Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's right. Well, 59's our highest score, which you pass.

44, our low score, which you pass.

Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia -

down to 4!

There we are, Stuart. Well done.

That's more like it. 4.

Well played, Stuart. That's the Pointless we know and love!

Macedonia. Never qualified for the finals.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Now, Maddy, welcome.

-Hello.

-Great to have you here. What do you do, Maddy?

I'm a student at the University of Leeds, I'm studying French there.

-Which year are you in?

-Just second.

So you're about to do your year out, are you, next year?

-Yeah, going to Versailles to teach in a primary school.

-How nice.

-Language assistant there.

-Oh, that's going to be heaven.

OK. So, Maddy, what are you going to go for?

Right. So, I think I'll play it fairly safe, not to show up Sam.

So I think I will go for Belgium.

Belgium, says Maddy.

OK. Belgium. Let's see how many of our 100 said Belgium.

Well, it's not bad. Look at that. 23, Maddy.

Well done, Maddy. Belgium. A lot of UK supporters' second team.

They're absolutely stuffed full of Premier League stars, the Belgians.

Thanks very much. Halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores. 4 - well done, Stuart.

Stuart and Dave looking very strong at this point.

Then up to 23, Maddy and Sam - likewise, on that far podium.

Then up to 44 - Pippa and Helen, well done.

And then up to 59, Barrie and Linda.

Linda, this is not your last round,

so we really need a lovely low-scoring answer from you, Linda.

Get thinking now. Fingers crossed.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium.

Sam, a warm Pointless welcome to you. What do you do, Sam?

-I'm also a student at the University of Leeds.

-What about that?

-That's how you and Maddy met.

-It is, yeah.

-How early on in your careers did your paths cross?

-Quite early.

We actually stayed at the same halls, halls of residence.

-She was only a couple of floors above me.

-Very good.

-What are you studying?

-I study civil engineering.

-Excellent.

So those two floors above - no problem at all to an engineer.

-Absolutely no problem.

-What are your hobbies, Sam?

I enjoy sport - luckily enough.

-I also used to enjoy debating - used to.

-Oh, used to - don't any more?

"Used to" being the operative word, after a bit of a mishap

in a national debate.

I made up a word.

What was the word?

Discompare.

-Discompare?

-Yes.

As in, I work with a lot of comperes,

but "dis compere" is the best?

LAUGHTER

I think that's all right.

APPLAUSE

Sam, now, listen, you're on 23.

The highest scorers at the moment are Linda and Barrie on 59.

If you can score 35 or less, you're through.

OK. I'm going to go for a team that's not actually in Europe,

but I know they do the qualifying for Euro 2016,

and that's Israel.

Israel, says Sam.

Here is your red line.

If you can get below that red line with Israel,

you're through to Round Two.

Let's see how many people said Israel.

It's right.

You're through.

That's a very, very good score. Well done.

Equalling the expertise of Stuart there on podium three,

taking your total up to 27.

Great answer, Sam. Another team who've never qualified the finals.

-But, yeah, they treat the Euros like they treat the Eurovision Song Contest.

-Yeah.

Israel. They welcome them in.

There we go. Thanks very much, Richard.

-Dave! Very warm welcome to you.

-Hello there.

-What do you do, Dave?

-I'm also retired.

-Retired from what?

From portfolio management.

I was in the investment world. I retired 18 months ago.

-And how have the 18 months been?

-Good, yes. Very good.

I find myself getting various hobbies.

Have you taken up hobbies you'd never imagined?

I've got four dogs, so I'm doing quite a lot of dog-showing.

-I see.

-We've got as far as Crufts with one of our dogs.

-Have you?

-What kind of dog is it?

-Finnish Lapphund.

-Aw.

-Aw.

-Beautiful.

-No idea what a Finnish...

-Think woolly sheepdog and you wouldn't be far wrong.

-Very good.

Yeah. So I'm involved in that.

I've also got involved in a rock music club

called the Wrinkly Rockers Club.

And we...

We're a bunch of guys who formed a club to go to gigs,

and we're also just starting to get into the production side

for the club to help young bands around the southeast London area.

Utterly terrifying. OK, Dave... LAUGHTER

Linda and Barrie are on 59 -

they're still our highest scorers, I'm sorry to say, at this stage.

54 or less is what we need from you.

Well, my friend here has got us off to a very good start,

so I'm going to stay in the same part of Europe and say Slovenia.

Slovenia, says Dave. Here's your red line.

If you can get below that with Slovenia,

you're into our second round.

Let's see how many of our 100 said Slovenia.

Very well done indeed, Dave.

Good answer. And through you go.

Down it goes to 10. Very well done. 14.

The lowest total of the round, I might add.

Well played, Dave. They qualified once for the finals in 2000.

-They look pretty dangerous, don't they, on podium three?

-They do.

They do. Yeah.

Now, Linda, we absolutely require a low score from you, Linda.

Remind us what you like getting up to, Linda.

Well, when I'm not at work I do small films with my grandson.

He's done them for his A-levels,

so I'm on YouTube at the moment on one of the small films.

-Do you star in them?

-Yes.

The first one I didn't have a speaking part, because I died.

SHE LAUGHS

Fewer lines to learn, Linda. That's good.

And then the second one, I played Norman Bates' mother

when she was alive.

HE LAUGHS

He's not giving you the best parts, Linda.

I scared him. I scared him a lot.

That's wonderful. What fun. How many films have you made?

I've made the two with my grandson so far,

but I've been very lucky, really,

I've been on a few television shows in the past,

and I've met some fantastic people, you know.

And I've met two more lovely people today, yourself and Richard.

Wonderful. Well, thank you, Linda - she's going through.

LAUGHTER

There's no red line for you, Linda,

but we need a lovely low score.

So I can't give you a target, it just has to be low.

Well, there's three already gone that I did know,

so all I can do is say Uruguay.

OK. Uruguay, says Linda.

OK, no red line, but let's see how many of our 100 said Uruguay.

Oh, Linda, I'm sorry. It begins with "euro".

Erm... I'm sorry, that scores 100 points, that's an incorrect answer.

I'm so sorry. Takes your total up to 159.

Linda, you have been absolutely brilliant fun

on both shows, I have to say.

But I can confidently predict

that you giving the answer Uruguay to teams playing in Euro 2016

will also appear on YouTube.

LAUGHTER

Oh, dear.

Now then, Helen, welcome to Pointless. Great to have you here.

-Thank you.

-What do you do, Helen?

I work in IT as well, same as Pippa,

but I do service management, and doing improvement

of the way technology is delivered for customers.

I see. And what are your hobbies?

Mainly house-renovating, I really enjoy doing that.

And I spend a lot of time in the gym as well.

Do you mean house-renovating as in the house you live in you renovate,

or you take on projects?

Yeah, I tend to take on the worst possible houses

that look like they should be knocked down

and then I fall in love with them and make them look beautiful again.

-That's incredibly satisfying, isn't it?

-I love it.

Do it every couple of years. I just love it.

I always say I'm going to stay

and then I see somewhere else that looks dreadful and I go,

"Oh, I can't leave it like that," and I'm off again.

That's proper conservation, that's great.

-You're doing a great service to the people of Tamworth.

-Thank you.

Now, I have great news for you.

Doesn't matter what you score with this answer,

you're still through to the next round.

I'm just going to say Denmark,

because I need to be safe.

-OK, well, you don't need to be safe.

-Oh, OK.

-That was my spiel!

Anyway, you're going to go for Denmark. That's fine. Denmark's fine.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Denmark.

See, that's not a bad answer at all.

Look at that, goes down to 14. Brilliant. Very well done.

58 is your total.

The most famous winners of all, actually, in 1992,

when they didn't qualify but Yugoslavia were thrown out

and they had ten days to prepare and came in and won it, Denmark.

There are no pointless answers at all, but lots of low answers.

So let's go through them. You would have got 1 point for Armenia, Kazakhstan and Azerbaijan.

You'd have got 2 points for Albania, Georgia, Czech Republic,

Lichtenstein. 3 points for Moldova.

You'd have got 4 points for Turkey, Faroe Islands, Belarus,

Montenegro and Cyprus.

5 points for Latvia, Romania.

Also 5 points for the one that every single football fan at home

I know has gone for, because they're not a real country -

and it's Gibraltar, would have scored you 5 points.

6 points for Andorra, Luxembourg, Malta.

7 for Ukraine and Bosnia and Herzegovina.

And 8 for San Marino, Bulgaria, Austria, Lithuania, Hungary.

So loads and loads of low scorers out there.

Let's take a look at the top three - the ones that most people said.

Spain, 59, is the third highest scorer.

Germany, 63.

And England, right at the top on 68.

You'd have got 37 for Scotland, 36 for the Republic of Ireland,

31 for Wales. And 21 for Northern Ireland -

would've been a very good answer.

Thanks very much, Richard. So, at the end of our first round...

LINDA GIGGLES

I'm so sorry.

We have to say goodbye to you, Linda and Barrie.

I'll tell you something extraordinary -

-last show you were on, you also scored 159.

-I know.

So, yeah, it was 59 to Barrie, 100 to Linda -

exactly the same as it was this time.

I mean, that's just uncanny.

I suspect foul play, Linda.

I'm beginning to think this Uruguay thing was, I don't know,

you've thrown it perhaps.

It's been lovely having you on both shows. Thank you.

Far too soon to be saying goodbye to you, but wonderful contestants. Linda and Barrie.

-Thank you very much indeed.

-APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And on we steam into our second round,

shedding a pair as we go.

Only three pairs remaining.

At the end of this round we'll shed another, I'm sorry to say.

Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two today is...

From Football to Art. Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. And the question concerns...

-Richard.

-On each board we're going to show you

the names of six works of art created by British artists.

We need you to tell us the name of the artist.

We're going to give you their initials as well.

There's going to be 12 in all to have a go at home, so very best of luck.

OK. So we're looking for the artist who created these works

in the years shown. And here's our first board of six.

I'll read those one last time.

Helen. So, yes, we want the artists who painted these works.

We've got their initials up there.

Erm, I'll go for the top one,

The Blue Boy, Thomas Gainsborough.

Thomas Gainsborough, says Helen. Let's see if it's right,

let's see how many people said Thomas Gainsborough.

It's right.

30. APPLAUSE

Not bad, Helen. Not bad at all.

Yeah, nice start to the round. Originally just called The Boy,

but then he accidentally mixed up his paints wrong,

like you do sometimes.

-Thank you very much, Richard.

-Pleasure.

Now then, Stuart.

Not my greatest subject. Erm...

OK, I'm going to take a bit of a punt

and say To Meet My Past,

-Tracey Emin.

-Tracey Emin, says Stuart.

TE - sounds good to me.

Let's see if it's right, let's see how many people said it.

It is right. 30 is our only score at this point.

And you pass it.

14. APPLAUSE

14.

Another good answer.

Sold for half a million pounds at auction in 2013, that piece.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Now then, Maddy, that board's all yours.

-Do you fancy talking us through it?

-No.

-Ha!

-Erm...

It's not the best round for me.

I knew the Tracey Emin one

and I can only really make a guess on A Bigger Splash

with the initials,

so I'll say Damien Hirst.

OK, Damien Hirst, says Maddy.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said that.

No. No.

A very overused set of initials that, I'm afraid, in the art world, DH.

That scores you 100 points.

I'm sorry.

Yes, right initials but wrong era, I'm afraid. Do you know that one?

-David Hockney.

-David Hockney is the answer to that.

Would've scored you...

16 points.

Monarch Of The Glen is Edwin Landseer.

Best answer on the board, actually - 5 points.

Benefits Supervisor Sleeping - sold for £35 million in 2015.

-Lucian Freud.

-Lucian Freud.

Would've scored 12. And the Hay Wain?

-John Constable.

-John Constable

-And that would've scored you 56.

-There we are.

Thank you very much indeed. We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores. Stuart and Dave - they mean business.

Look at that - 14, very well done indeed. Lovely low score.

Then up to 30, where we find Helen and Pippa.

And then up to 100 - bad luck there, Maddy. Yes, Maddy and Sam.

That may very well not be our last high score of the round.

So, Sam, a low score from you could keep you in the running.

So best of luck with that, we're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium.

OK, we're going to put six more works of art up on the board,

and here they are.

I'll read those all one last time.

Now then, Sam.

Again, art isn't my strong point.

But I'm going to sound a bit like a parrot,

because there's another DH up there and I think it's more his era -

I'm going to say Damien Hirst, For The Love Of God.

OK, Damien Hirst, says Sam.

No red line for you, you're highest scorers.

But let's see how many of our 100 said Damien Hirst.

It's absolutely right this time.

Ooh, not bad. 24.

24. You could still be in the running.

124 is your total.

And that work is a platinum skull

with over 1,000 carats of diamonds embedded in it.

Thank you very much.

Now then, Dave.

It doesn't actually matter what you score,

you're still going to be in the head-to-head.

But I think you've got a good answer in there. I like to think so.

I cannot think of possibly a worse subject for me,

so I'm going to have to take a complete, complete guess and say -

and it is a complete guess

and I know exactly what's going to happen -

but I'm just going to say Whistlejacket, Graham Scott.

Graham Scott.

Uh, let's see... Let's see.

Doesn't matter - no red line for you, you're already through.

Let's see how wrong Graham Scott is.

It is, I'm afraid, an incorrect answer, Dave.

But, as I say, even with the 100 points it scores you,

you are still comfortably through. So, well done, 114 is your total.

Not Graham Scott, I'm afraid -

though he was the inventor of the jacket whistle,

-which is very different.

-Yeah. That's what I was thinking of!

Thanks very much. Now then, Pippa.

-Hello.

-Pippa, you have to score 93 or less.

-Mm-hmm.

Talk us through that board, if you can.

I know Kissing Coppers is Banksy,

but I think that's going to be quite high.

So the only other one I think I know is A Rake's Progress,

-which is William Hogarth.

-William Hogarth, says Pippa.

Here's your red line - nice and high. Get below that with William Hogarth

and you are comfortably into the head-to-head.

How many people said William Hogarth?

It's right.

16.

46 is your total. Well done.

Well played, Pippa. Yeah, you were right, actually,

to go for that instead of the Banksy as well.

Cos you're right about Banksy,

he would have scored you more points -

he would have scored you 36 points.

That was painted on the side of a pub in Brighton.

They later removed it and sold it for £345,000.

-That's a good day, isn't it?

-Spray-painted. Yeah, wasn't it just?

Whistlejacket - someone very famous for painting horses.

-George Stubbs.

-Yeah.

Whistlejacket, the name of a horse, of course. 8 points for that.

Ophelia - John Everett Millais. Would've scored you 15.

And Angel Of The North,

one of the most viewed works of art in the world, of course,

and it's Antony Gormley - would've scored you 27.

So George Stubbs the best answer on that board.

Thank you very much indeed.

So, at the end of our second round,

the pair who are heading home with our highest score of 124 -

I'm sorry, Sam and Maddy, it is you.

Yeah, it's their David Hockney/ Damien Hirst mix-up there.

I'm sorry. Mind you, there was something poetic

about getting it right on the next board.

We'll see you again next time,

we'll look forward to that very much indeed.

-But meantime, thanks very much indeed, Sam and Maddy.

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

-Good luck.

But for Dave and Stuart, and Pippa and Helen,

it's now time for our head-to-head.

Well done, Pippa and Helen, Dave and Stuart.

You're now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for that jackpot,

which currently stands at £5,250.

Well, you know the story here.

We've reached the head-to-head, you can confer,

first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

I think it all bodes very well for a very, very good head-to-head.

Let's play it.

APPLAUSE

Here comes your first question. And it concerns...

Scary Celebrities. Rich.

We've met a few of those in our time, haven't we?

If you ever watch Pointless Celebrities

you can see the terror in our eyes occasionally.

We're going to show you five pictures now

of celebrities dressed in Halloween costumes.

Can you identify the celebrities, please.

OK, let's reveal our five scary celebrities.

And here they are. We've got...

That's not scary!

ALEXANDER LAUGHS E!

-There we go.

-It's terrifying, E, isn't it?

Pippa and Helen, you will be going first. Feel free to confer.

THEY CONFER

We'll go for A, Kim Kardashian.

A, Kim Kardashian.

OK. Now, Dave and Stuart,

talk us through the rest of those scary celebrities.

Yeah, not good on celebrities.

Erm... We know who C and D are.

C is Dara O Briain and D is Stephen Merchant.

We'll go for Dara O Briain.

OK, you're going to say Dara O Briain for C.

Pippa and Helen have said A, Kim Kardashian.

Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Kim Kardashian.

It's right.

There we go.

APPLAUSE 17 for Kim Kardashian.

Dave and Stuart, meanwhile, have said Dara O Briain for C.

Let's see if it's right

and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 said that.

It's right.

35 for Dara.

APPLAUSE

Which means, Pippa and Helen, well done -

-after one question you're up 1-0.

-Very well played.

You knew a much better answer, gents - Stephen Merchant.

Much better answer than Dara O Briain.

Would have scored you 13 points.

So would have got you the point there.

Kim Kardashian's costume is the best there, isn't it, I think?

Oh, it is. That spine is beautifully drawn, isn't it?

-Look at that.

-Nicely done.

B is Alexa Chung.

Would've scored you 1 point.

And E is Paris Hilton.

-And that is horrific, what she's wearing. But it's not...

-40 points.

It's not really Halloween, is it?

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

OK, here comes your second question.

Dave and Stuart, you will answer it first,

but you have to win it to stay in the game.

Best of luck. It concerns...

Citrus Fruits, Richard.

Yeah, we're going to show you the names of five citrus fruits now,

but we have, as it were, put them in the blender.

I like that, I like that.

I know. So they are now anagrams.

Can you unscramble them and give us the most obscure answer.

OK. Smoothies, essentially. OK. Here we go.

Let's reveal our five citrus fruits. And we've got...

FIG RAPTURE - now that is a smoothie, isn't it?

-Mmm, a fig rapture.

-Oh!

-Lovely.

Dave and Stuart will go first.

THEY CONFER

Erm... Well, we know two or three of them.

We're going to go with the top one, which is clementine.

Clementine, say Dave and Stuart. Clementine for ELECT ME INN.

Now then, Pippa and Helen,

-do you want to talk us through those?

-Yeah.

We've got the bottom two, which I think...

The one up from the bottom I think is mandarin,

and the bottom one is grapefruit.

So we're going to go for...mandarin.

Yeah, go for it.

OK, you're going to go for mandarin. So we have clementine and mandarin.

A lot of people say they're kind of the same thing.

I don't really know what the difference is.

Dave and Stuart said clementine. Let's see if that's right

and, if it is, let's see how many people said that.

26.

Pippa and Helen have gone for mandarin.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

Needs to go down below 20.

Oh, no. Look at that. 48.

48.

Well done, Dave and Stuart, back in the game.

After two questions, it's 1-1.

Yeah, let's fill in the rest of this board.

There's one very good answer up there. Satsuma in the middle there.

Again, another thing that I would've just called a tangerine.

Would've scored you 52. Goes to show how little you know about citrus fruits.

Clementines, satsumas and mandarins -

very, very different things.

-FIG RAPTURE.

-Erm... BOTH:

-Grapefruit.

Would've scored you 45.

Now, this other one is a tricky one. I hadn't heard of it.

If I told you it was a blood orange, and if you know your Latin,

it gives you a clue.

-Sanguine.

-Sanguinello is the answer.

And it's a pointless answer.

So, very well done if you said that. Would be lovely,

a bit of sanguinello right about now, wouldn't it?

Sanguinello sounds like sort of the liqueur you might make from it.

If you were in a restaurant and they said sanguinello juice,

you would just, by the very dint of not having heard of it,

you would assume it was exotic and tasty.

Mmm. And you'd be right. Thank you very much.

Here comes your third question.

Whoever wins this goes through to the final

and plays for that colossal jackpot. Best of luck to both pairs. It concerns...

The Number Five, Richard.

I'm going to show you five clues now about the number five.

-That's eerie.

-It's really...

It's so spooky, isn't it?

And also, if you get it right,

you're going through to play for over £5,000 as well.

So, I don't know what's happening.

But certainly Paris Hilton was hanging around earlier. I know that.

Right, let's reveal our five clues - and here they are.

I'll read those one last time.

Once again, Pippa and Helen, you will go first.

THEY CONFER

We're going to go for the top one,

the decade in which the UK's Channel 5 was launched, which was the '90s.

The 1990s say Pippa and Helen.

The 1990s. Dave and Stuart, over to you - talk us through that board.

Yeah, I was trying to work five to the power of five in my head

and I got lost.

Shall we do the first UK hit for Five?

No. Erm...

Chemical element...

No. Have to just go for quintet.

-Bottom one.

-Quintet.

So we have the 1990s and we have quintet.

Pippa and Helen went for the 1990s,

let's see if that's right for Channel 5.

It is right.

32. APPLAUSE

32, the 1990s.

Meanwhile, Dave and Stuart have said it is a quintet,

a group of five musicians.

Let's see if it's right, let's see how many people said it.

It is right.

51.

Very well done, Pippa and Helen.

After three questions, you're through to the final, 2-1.

Well played, Pippa and Helen - terrific stuff.

How far did you get through

in your calculations for five to the power of five?

I got as far as five cubed and then I sort of got a bit lost.

So, 5. 5 squared, 25. 5 cubed, 125.

5 times 4 is 625.

-625.

-And then it's 3,125.

And if you said that, you'd be playing for the jackpot.

Because it would've scored you...

9 points.

Cos everybody else gave up as well.

-Yeah!

-Chemical element is boron.

Also would've seen you in the final - 14 points for that.

And the first UK number one single for the boy band Five

was Keep On Movin'.

Keep On Movin'. And that scored...

-5 points.

-LAUGHTER

-There you go.

-That's just too spooky for words.

OK, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round -

I'm afraid, Dave and Stuart, it is you. But such a strong performance.

We'll see you again next time,

and I'm sure you'll do this well, if not better.

We look forward to that very much indeed.

-Dave and Stuart, thanks very much indeed.

-Thank you.

-Thanks.

APPLAUSE

But for Pippa and Helen, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Pippa and Helen, well done.

You've fought off all the competition.

-You have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

-Yes!

-This is very exciting.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

Need you be reminded, the jackpot at the end of today's show

stands at £5,250.

CHEERING

This is very exciting.

Oh, jackpot over 5,000 - all those fives we had.

Is five a lucky number for either of you?

-It is now!

-Yeah!

Well, listen, you've done very, very well indeed.

I mean, great low scores,

quite an exciting head-to-head there.

Anything you want to see come up in the final round?

-'80s music would be good.

-'80s music, wouldn't that be great?

Helen, any other areas of expertise?

-Just random trivia. Really random.

-Random trivia.

-I can definitely promise you that.

-Thank you.

As always, you get to choose your category from the four we've put up on the board behind me.

Let's see what we've got today.

This is everything you've asked for...

-Doggy Films?

-Yeah.

-Doggy Films.

Doggy Films. OK, there we are. Richard, Doggy Films.

OK, we're looking for anybody who received an acting credit

in any of the following three films according to IMDb, please.

Specifically, any human who received an acting credit in...

The 2002 film Scooby-Doo,

the 2008 film Marley and Me,

and the 1996 live-action film 101 Dalmatians.

So anyone with an acting credit in any of those three films, please.

Very best of luck.

OK. Now, as always, you've got up to a minute

to come up with three answers,

and all you need to win that jackpot, £5,250,

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready? BOTH:

-Mm-hmm.

OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock. There they are.

Your time starts now.

-Scooby-Doo.

-Rowan Atkinson.

-Rowan Atkinson in Scooby-Doo.

-He's the baddie, yeah.

You've got Freddie Prinze Jr, obviously, was Fred.

Yeah, that's going to be really obvious.

Marley and Me, I've never watched it

cos I know it's going to make me cry, so I won't watch it.

101 Dalmatians.

Was Hugh Laurie in 101 Dalmatians? I think he was.

-I think he probably was.

-We'll go for that one.

-OK.

So, Hugh Laurie...

Hugh Laurie.

-Rowan Atkinson.

-Yeah.

And...

Jennifer Aniston was in Marley and Me.

I think Owen Wilson was opposite.

-Yeah.

-They're both really quite high.

Anybody else in Scooby-Doo?

There could be loads in 101 Dalmatians.

-There's 101 Dalmatians in there.

-Yeah, but you can't name the dogs.

Do you know the dogs? I've never watched 101 Dalmatians.

-Glenn...Close.

-Close.

I know she's the baddie, but that's going to be quite high.

Ten seconds left.

-Do you want to go for Freddie Prinze Jr...

-Yeah.

Rowan Atkinson. And?

-Glenn Close.

-No, what's his name?

-Hugh Laurie.

-Hugh Laurie, yeah.

OK, that's your time up.

Just as you decide on your answers, let's have them,

and if you say which category you're answering that would be great.

-Hugh Laurie for 101 Dalmatians.

-Hugh Laurie.

Rowan Atkinson, Scooby-Doo.

-Yeah. And Freddie Prinze Jr.

-Freddie Prinze Jr for Scooby-Doo.

Rowan Atkinson and Freddie Prinze Jr.

Now, of those three which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Probably Rowan Atkinson.

-Right, he goes last.

-Least likely to be pointless?

-Hugh Laurie.

-Hugh Laurie we'll put first.

-OK.

-OK, well, let's pop those up on the board in that order, then.

And here they are.

We've got Hugh Laurie,

we've got Freddie Prinze Jr

and we've got Rowan Atkinson.

Well, very best of luck.

There's a very exciting jackpot riding on this.

One of those answers could be pointless

and would win that jackpot, £5250, for you.

Pippa, what would you do with your share of that?

Ironically I need to purchase a new Doberman -

I lost one recently.

So I'd like to get a new Dobie, and they're not cheap.

Right, OK. good. Helen, that would be really appropriate, wouldn't it?

-It would.

-Helen?

Randomly, I fancy buying a motorbike.

Me and my partner want to get something a bit old-school

-and just have a razz around on a motorbike.

-Excellent.

Well, three good answers there.

Let's hope one of them is pointless and will win that jackpot for you.

Your first answer was Hugh Laurie,

in this case we were looking for cast members from 101 Dalmatians.

It has to be right, then it has to be pointless for you to win.

So, for £5,250, let's see how many people said Hugh Laurie.

Is it pointless?

Well, it's right.

Hugh Laurie taking us all the way down through the 50s and 40s.

If it goes down to zero

you leave with £5,250.

Down through the teens into the single figures. Still going down.

Down it goes, still going...

Oh, 1!

1 for Hugh Laurie.

APPLAUSE

I knew the answer!

That's a great answer. Fabulous score.

I'm afraid it's not pointless, though.

So we have to discount it at this stage

and move on to your next answer, which was Freddie Prinze Jr.

In this case we were looking for cast members of Scooby-Doo.

It has to be pointless for you to win,

so for £5,250 let's see how many people said Freddie Prinze Jr.

It's also correct.

Your first answer was Hugh Laurie, took us all the way down to 1.

Freddie Prinze Jr now taking us through the 30s and the 20s,

into the teens and...

Oh, not quite into single figures.

OK, 11. 11 for Freddie Prinze Jr.

I think you'd have been very surprised if that had been pointless.

That was just holding its place there, wasn't it, for the main event.

Which is your third and final answer, Rowan Atkinson.

And, again, we were looking for cast members from Scooby-Doo.

If it's right and if it's pointless it will win you £5,250.

How many people said Rowan Atkinson?

Is it pointless?

Well, it's also correct,

as have been all your answers.

Hugh Laurie took us all the way down to 1.

Freddie Prinze Jr took us down to 11.

Rowan Atkinson now in single figures, down it goes.

Still going down, still going down.

Oh!

2. APPLAUSE

Cruel. That's really cruel.

Oh, I have to say, that is...

That's cruel, isn't it? Cruel!

Two answers that have taken you down

within touching distance of that jackpot.

I'm afraid, though, you didn't find that all-important pointless answer,

so I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £5,250 -

that will roll over onto the next show.

But it's been great having you on the show -

really strong performance throughout.

And you get to take home a Pointless trophy each, so very, very well done.

-Thank you.

-CHEERING

Yeah, unlucky. Some good answers there.

We gave away the jackpot five times in a row recently, didn't we?

Now we're finding it harder to give away, I have to say.

It's building up.

Let's take a look at the pointless answers in the different categories.

Scooby-Doo cast. Kristian Schmid was a pointless answer.

He was in Neighbours as well, Kristian Schmid.

Linda Cardellini, Neil Fanning, Nicolas Hope -

everyone in that film apart from Sarah Michelle Gellar,

Freddie Prinze Jr, Rowan Atkinson, Matthew Lillard and Isla Fisher.

Everyone else is pointless.

Marley and Me.

Joyce Van Patten, Eric Dane,

the brilliant Clarke Peters, the brilliant Alan Arkin as well.

Again, everyone pointless in that film

apart from Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson and Kathleen Turner.

Every single other member of the cast was a pointless answer,

so well done if you said one.

And 101 Dalmatians.

Jeff Daniels, a pointless answer there.

Joan Plowright, Joely Richardson.

Tim McInnerny - best known over here for Blackadder, of course.

So some big names in the pointless answers.

Only two answers scored any points at all, though.

Glenn Close scored 19 and, of course, Hugh Laurie, who scored 1.

So, very, very unlucky.

Very well done at home if you got any of those pointless answers.

You would have just won five-and-a-bit thousand pounds.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Well, unfortunately we have to say goodbye to you, Pippa and Helen,

but it's been great having you on the show.

Thank you so much for playing. Pippa and Helen.

APPLAUSE

Well, Pippa and Helen didn't win our jackpot today,

which means it rolls over onto the next show,

where we will be playing for £6,250.

WHOOPING AND CHEERING

Join us next time to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.