Episode 51 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless,

the show were the lowest scorers are the biggest winners.

Let's meet today's players.

-Couple number one.

-Hi, I'm James and this is my sister Jessica.

We are from Taunton in Somerset.

Couple number two.

Hi, my name is Emily and I'm from Barnsley but live in London.

This is my friend Holly from Derby.

-Couple number three.

-Hi, my name is Hannah.

This is Matt, and we work together in Wrexham.

-And finally, couple number four.

-I'm Chris. This is my good friend Tom.

We used to work together.

Tom is from St Albans and I'm from Rochester in Kent.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much, all of you.

We'll find out more about you throughout the show as it goes along.

That just leaves one more person to introduce.

He's a man who finds it hard to look at himself in the mirror,

because it was fitted by a builder who is 5'2".

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya. Afternoon, everybody.

Welcome along.

-Good afternoon to you.

-And to you.

-That is true about mirrors.

-They are not made for people who are 6'7".

-No.

What do you do, angle them up a bit or just shove them up the wall?

No, I literally just look at my neck.

Which is always beautifully groomed.

My hair less so, but the neck is absolutely perfect.

Now, a really good show last time.

We've got two returning pairs from. We've got Emily and Holly.

They got knocked out cos Holly mispronounced Vanuatu,

one of the cardinal Pointless crimes.

-How could you?

-I know.

-Oh.

But you know, sometimes

when the lights are on and all that kind of stuff, it's scary.

-Lovely Ellie and Paul got through to the final.

-Yeah.

Question on horror films and won £4,200.

-There we are.

-Brilliant. They were lovely.

-Weren't they?

Are you hearing the same tutting I'm hearing?

-Yeah, I heard that as well. I heard that.

-Yeah, that's a shame.

Maybe it was only just a breath catching in the mouth there.

I don't think it was... These guys wouldn't tut.

-A breath of delight that caught in the mouth.

-Exactly.

They were lovely, though, weren't they?

-Yeah.

-Yeah. Rrr.

Lovely first question today.

Unusually, we've done something similar before,

-but I'm returning to something we've done before.

-Lovely.

-Which I enjoyed.

-Good. Looking forward to it.

Thank you very much, Richard.

Paul and Ellie, as you gathered, won the jackpot last time.

So, today's jackpot starts off excitingly back at £1,000.

There it is. Right, if we are all ready, let's play Pointless.

All you have to remember is that the pair with the highest

score at the end of each round will be eliminated. That is it.

Best of luck to all four pairs. Our first category this afternoon is...

Cinema. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going first and second?

Whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. And the question concerns...

-Films In Haiku. Brilliant.

-Yes.

On each board, we're going to describe seven films.

We're going to describe them in the form of a Japanese haiku poem.

It's a poem of five syllables, seven syllables, then five syllables.

You just need to tell us what the film is, please.

It's going to be 14 in all to have a go at at home,

so very best of luck.

-It's nice to have haikus, isn't it?

-Isn't it?

-It makes it sort of seem like we are quite clever.

-Yes.

-Even though we are not.

-Yes.

-And they are in Japanese.

-Oh, yes.

Brilliant.

So, we are looking for the names of the films described by these

haikus and here is our first board of seven.

I'll read those all again.

Now, Jessica, a very warm welcome to Pointless. Good to have you here.

What do you do, Jessica?

I work in health insurance and I'm one of the call centre who

takes the claims and starts claims with people.

Do you have to interview people in order to approve them

-taking their health claim further?

-Yeah, pretty much.

-So, you do a little bit of a sort of medical check on them.

-Yeah.

And what are your interests when you're not doing that, Jessica?

I love watching films, so...

How is your Japanese haiku interest?

-Only, like, maybe two or three of them are shouting out to me.

-OK.

More Harry Potter things if they were on there, but you know.

What are you going to go for on the board here?

I was going to go for the bottom two,

so I'll go for the bottom one, the killer rabbit.

I'm going for

Monty Python's Holy Grail.

Monty Python's Holy Grail.

Monty Python's Holy Grail, says Jessica.

Let's see if that's right.

If it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's right.

16. Not bad.

APPLAUSE Good start to the round, Jessica.

Well played, Jessica. It's scary on that first podium, I know.

Yeah, Monty Python And The Holy Grail was turned into Spamalot

-of course, the enormously successful musical.

-Indeed.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

-Now, Emily, welcome back.

-Hi.

-Great to have you here.

-Remind us of what you do, Emily.

-I'm an estate agent in London.

-And do you love it?

-I do. I love it, yeah.

-And residential estate agents?

-We do do both, sold a pub recently.

-But we do do both, yeah. Residential and commercial.

-Interesting.

What are your interests aside from the estate agency, Emily?

Travelling is probably the main one.

I don't really get much time to watch films.

Well, long-haul flights, surely.

With Japanese haiku, well, you never know. Erm, yeah.

What are you going to go for?

I only really know the obvious ones,

so it is working out which of the obvious is the least.

I'm probably going to go completely wrong,

but I'm going to go for the top one and go for Psycho.

Psycho, says Emily. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 said Psycho.

52 for Psycho.

APPLAUSE

That famous shower scene, of course, with the iconic music.

Originally had no music at all.

Hitchcock wanted it to be silent

and Bernard Herrmann is the composer who scored that film,

said, "I'm just going to do some anyway."

Hitchcock heard it and immediately doubled his salary.

Said, "You absolutely made the film."

-Nice fellow. Hannah, welcome back.

-Thank you.

-Now, head-to-head last time.

-Yes.

-Head-to-head, yes.

Very close to that jackpot round.

-Remind us what you do.

-Me and Matt are both science communicators.

Science communicators. And you work in a museum?

Yeah, it's a science centre,

so we have different exhibits people can come in and visit,

but we also go out to schools and do science shows as well.

So when you are on the museum floor, are you kind of sort of free-ranging?

Well, it's all kind of on the exhibits.

They are trying to figure stuff out

and then we can go along and be all smug.

-"I know how to do it."

-Ah, that's good. Are you in a white coat?

-No.

-That's a shame.

-Too cliche.

Yes, you're right. Absolutely right. It's not a shame at all.

It's perfect. Now, Hannah, what are you going to go for?

I know three that I think are fairly obvious.

Again, it's trying to pick the least-scoring one.

There's one I think I know but I'm not sure.

I'm not confident enough to go for it.

I'm going to go for starring John Candy,

the Jamaican bobsleigh team,

-Cool Runnings.

-Cool Runnings, says Hannah. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Cool Runnings.

It's right. So, 52 is our high score.

You pass it. 16 is our low.

32, there we are. Not bad.

Pretty much in the middle there.

Well played, Hannah. Based on a true story, of course.

It never fails to cheer you up, Cool Runnings.

-Yeah.

-If you're ever down.

-John Candy is in it. It's very cheery.

-It's a lovely film.

-Thank you.

-Pleasure.

-Thank you.

Now, good. Chris, welcome to Pointless. Good to have you here.

-Thank you.

-What do you do?

-I am a finance manager, specialising in procure to pay.

-Procure...

So, everything from the buying stage

right through to the payment of that.

I see. OK.

And what are your interests aside from working in finance?

I like to go to the gym.

-I love playing guitar.

-What sort of guitar do you play, Chris?

I play both. I play acoustic and electric.

Do you play in a band or do you just play in your own?

Not at the moment, no. I have done, but I haven't done for a while.

Everything has kind of taken a back-seat at the moment

because of my little girl who is eight months old now.

Oh, lovely. Congratulations.

Now, Chris, you're the last person to have this board.

Do you feel like talking us through it

and filling in all those four ones that haven't been answered?

The only one I'm unsure of is that Newman and Redford.

Set between wars, Colin Firth,

that's The King's Speech.

Tom Cruise, sports agent, is Jerry Maguire.

And the next one is Jurassic Park. I was going to go for Cool Runnings.

It actually scored higher than I thought it would.

I'll go for The King's Speech.

The King's Speech, says Chris.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said The King's Speech.

It's right.

43.

43 for The King's Speech.

Yeah, and Chris is right.

It's very hard to work out what the best scorers are, I have to say.

Especially when you see the answers.

-I think maybe some of the clues are harder than others.

-Maybe.

But let's take a look. Newman and Redford was The Sting.

That would have scored 25.

John Hammond is Jurassic Park.

55 for that. So, that is the biggest scorer.

Actually, Jerry Maguire is the lowest scorer on the board.

Amazingly, just 13 points for Jerry Maguire.

Thank you, Richard. We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores. 16, what about that, Jessica?

Very well done.

Best answer of the round so far.

We travel up to 32 where we find Hannah and Matt.

Up to 43 where we find Chris and Tom.

And then Emily and Holly out at the front there on 52.

Holly, we need a nice low score from you in the next pass.

Good luck. We'll come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK. Let's put seven more haikus up on the board. Here they are.

I'll read those one last time.

Spoiler alert. Now, Tom.

-Hi.

-Welcome to Pointless. Good to have you here. What do you do, Tom?

-I'm an accountant as well. We used to work together.

-Right you are.

What are your interests aside from accounting?

I like going to see live music, going to the theatre,

going out for, you know, to the cinema.

Now, be honest - how are you finding that board?

Eh... There some I know, some I don't.

I think I might go for the bottom one

and I'm going to say The Sixth Sense.

Sixth Sense, says Tom. OK. Here is your red line.

It's quite low.

If you get below that, you're definitely into the next round.

Let's see how far you get down with Sixth Sense.

Ooh, not bad. 31.

Not bad at all. 74 is your total.

Very well played, Tom. Sixth Sense.

-We must never give away the ending of The Sixth Sense.

-No.

Sometimes we get in trouble for giving away

the ending of Shakespeare plays on the show. People say, "Spoiler!"

-Really?

-It's quite old.

-ALEXANDER LAUGHS

-Wow.

-Or something about Dickens' novel.

-That's good.

I don't know what the statute of limitations on a spoiler is.

"I can't believe you told us the result of the 1974 election."

I was just going to watch it.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. Now, Matt, welcome back.

-Good to have you here. Also a science...

-Science communicator.

..communicator. I like that.

So, as a communicator, are you learning the stuff

you have to tell them or is it from the back of Matt's brain?

I am learning quite a lot of stuff from it, yeah.

I mean, I didn't really enjoy sort of physics and maths in school,

but through the job I've sort of learned a bit more about it

and I started teaching that now, so I'm starting to enjoy that now.

Physics in school wasn't that fun, I'm afraid.

Springs with weights on? No.

Yeah, a lot of the experiments we did in school were sort of

-just like letting a car roll down a wooden ramp.

-Exactly.

-With the tacker thing.

-That was sort of like the height of science.

Then the minute you go to university, physics just goes boom!

And it's brilliant. It's kind of everything.

Anyway, there you are. So, physics is great.

That's all we had to establish. Now, Matt, there you are. You're on 32.

The high scorers at the moment are Tom and Chris on 74.

41 or less gets you through.

There's a couple on the board, again, like everyone has said

that I know the answers to.

It's sort of trying to figure out which one is the lowest.

There is sort of one or two in there that I have no idea.

I'm going to go with the one second to bottom,

the old man and Russell and I'm going to go with Up.

Up, says Matt. Up. Here is your red line.

If you can get below that with Up, you are through to the next round.

It's right.

Very well done.

27.

59 your total. Through you go.

APPLAUSE

-Well played, Matt.

-Safe and sound.

Yeah, film about the danger of balloons.

Now, Holly, welcome back.

-Yes, "Vanutu."

-Yes.

We won't bring that up any more, apart from just then.

-Remind us what you do, Holly.

-I'm a lab technician.

-A lab technician.

And what are your hobbies?

-I like films.

-You walked into that one.

-You could have kept that quiet. Anything else?

-Going out, cinema...

Film featuring quite heavily in all of the answers you've given.

-That's my downfall.

-My expectations are very high, Holly.

You're on 52.

The high score is still Chris and Tom on 74,

so 21 or less gets you through.

What are you going to go for?

Well, I know three of them.

-I'm going to go for the film set in space, Alien.

-Alien, says Holly.

Getting a nod from James. Here's your red line.

If you can get below that with Alien, you are through to the next round.

Let's see how many people said Alien.

Ooh, 45.

45 takes your total up to 97.

Yes, in space, nobody can hear you scream.

-Is that right, Hannah and Matt?

-Uh, yeah.

-Oh, they're great!

-Just good to get that confirmed.

I thought it was the case.

But lovely to have an expert opinion.

There you go. Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Now, James, welcome.

Welcome to Pointless. Good to have you here.

What you do down in Taunton, James?

I run a pub. I'm a hospitality coach.

Hang on. Wait, wait, wait. What's a hospitality coach?

-It's a posh word for basically a team leader...

-Running a pub.

..who runs a pub and makes sure

everyone else runs at the same level.

You are in charge of the whole pub? That's your...

-I've got a general manager.

-I see, I see.

But you bring the people in and pep them up, make sure they run the pub.

-Yeah, if you like.

-I see.

What are the main aims and principles of hospitality coaching?

Now, there's a great welcome. Obviously then there's...

-We do that, don't we?

-Yeah, great welcome.

-Perfect.

-I say welcome to all of them, in fact.

-Yeah.

And then you've got the main five stages of having a meal in between.

-Yeah, we've done that.

-We do that before the show.

-Make sure everyone goes home happy.

-Send them home.

-Perfect.

Anyway, now, James, talk us through this board, if you can.

Well, I thought we were going home until 45 for Alien.

I'm happy with two of them.

I don't know whether they are going to be low scorers or not.

The Yellow Brick Road is Wizard Of Oz,

but I'm going to go for Amity Island, Jaws.

Amity Island, Jaws.

OK, you are hoping that's going to be a low score.

It needs to score 80 or less for you to be safe. There's your red line.

Get below that, you're into Round Two.

How many people said Jaws?

It's right. Well done.

Low enough. 56.

72 is your total.

Well played, James.

Yeah, apparently, that line,

"You're going to need a bigger boat," was ad-libbed.

Apparently they used it a lot throughout the whole production

-because they were obviously filming at sea a lot.

-Yeah.

It became a gag amongst the cast.

They all kept saying, "Oh, we're going to need a bigger boat."

-And then he chucked it in.

-He chucked it in, old Roy Scheider.

-Yeah.

Let's take a look at the rest of these.

Yellow Brick Road, Dorothy, ruby slippers, etc.

is the Wizard Of Oz, of course. 54 for that.

-Curtis and Lemmon.

-Some Like It Hot.

-Some Like It Hot. Wonderful film.

19.

-And do you know the third one?

-Amadeus.

-Amadeus.

-And that is a pointless answer.

-No!

-Yeah.

-There you go.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, we are at the end of our first round

and it is my unpleasant duty to tell you, Holly and Emily,

that for the second time running,

you are our high scorers in the first round.

I'm sorry. This is far too soon to be sending you home.

It's been lovely having, albeit briefly.

Holly and Emily, thanks very much indeed. Holly and Emily.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And so now, suddenly, we are down to only three pairs.

At the end of this round we will have to say goodbye to another pair.

Well, congratulations, Hannah and Matt,

our lowest combined score there in that first round.

And congratulations to you, Jessica, as well. Our lowest individual. 16.

Fabulous low score there. Phew-ee, ey, James. Phew!

And Tom and Chris, just well done.

Keep on keeping on. Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two this afternoon is...

The Olympics.

Can you decide in your pairs who will go first and second?

Whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. Let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

Olympic host cities with six or fewer letters in their name. Richard.

Yep. Just looking for the name of any host city

of a Summer or Winter Olympics

since the modern games began in 1896, please,

with six letters or fewer in its name.

Very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed. So, Jessica.

I've only got one because I went skiing there.

-It's Wengen.

-Wengen.

Wengen, says Jessica.

Let's see if that's rights and how many of our 100 people said Wengen.

Ooh.

Bad luck. An incorrect answer there, Jessica. 100 points, that scores you.

Sorry, Jessica. Not a Winter Olympic host city,

certainly not a Summer Olympic host city either.

I'll give all the correct answers at the end of the round.

Thanks very much, Richard. Now then, Hannah.

This isn't great.

I can think of obvious ones.

I think I'm going to have to play it safe with an obvious one

and hope Matt can pull something good out.

I'm going to say Sydney.

Sydney, says Hannah.

Let's see if Sydney is right and how many people said it.

It's right.

31.

Good enough.

APPLAUSE

Yeah. Sydney in 2000.

It's where Steve Redgrave won his fifth consecutive gold

at a fifth consecutive Olympics, which is amazing.

-It's got six letters.

-Brilliant.

-If you count them.

-Yeah. Thank you.

Tom.

-Hi.

-Tom. Now, how are we feeling?

-All right, I think.

-Mm-hm.

-Mm.

I think I'm going to go for...

Somewhere that's hosted the Winter Olympics. I'm going to go for Turin.

Turin, says Tom. Turin.

Let's see if it's right and how many of our 100 people said it.

It has.

Well, 31 is our low score. You pass that.

Oh! Look at that, Tom. Very well done indeed.

APPLAUSE

This is good scoring.

Well played, Tom. Yeah, Winter Olympics in 2006.

The first time that Ethiopia had a team in the Winter Olympics.

-Very nice.

-They had a cross-country skier.

-Good. How did they do?

-Came 93rd.

-It's the taking part, isn't it?

-It is the taking part that counts.

We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at those scores.

Tom, very well done. You're at the top of the table there.

Tom and Chris are on 4.

Then at 31, Hannah and Matt. Not bad.

Now, Jessica and James... Well, there were some slippy moments

on that first pass,

so there might be another high score, you never know.

But, James, we need a low score from you, so best of luck.

We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players step up to the podium?

-So, Chris...

-Yeah.

-..in a very comfortable position at this point.

-Luckily.

You need to score 95 or less.

So, we want any Olympic host city

with six or fewer letters in its name.

I'm going to plump for Moscow.

-Moscow.

-Yeah.

-Moscow.

Well, you're getting a nod from Tom.

Also, thanks to Tom, you've got a lovely high red line there.

Get below that, you're in the head-to-head.

Moscow - how many people said that?

Very well done. Through you go.

It's a good answer. 25.

-APPLAUSE

-That's all right.

-29, your total.

The lowest total of the round. Well done.

Well played, Chris. Safely through. The 1980 Summer Olympics.

There was only 80 nations took part because of the US boycott,

but much-loved over here cos it was Coe and Ovett,

so we still remember them very fondly.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Now, Matt. Matt...

So, we're looking for Summer or Winter Olympic host cities

with six or fewer letters to their name.

-You have to score 68 or less.

-Yeah.

There's a couple that I'm sort of not sure on,

and although it's too late to ask Hannah,

I'm going to go for a bit of a risk.

And I can't remember if they hosted the Winter or Summer Olympics,

but I'm going to go for the South Korean city of Seoul.

Seoul, says Matt. Here's your red line.

Get below that with Seoul and you're into the next round.

How many people said Seoul?

It's right.

Well done.

There we are. 26 for Seoul.

-Well done.

-APPLAUSE

57 is your total.

That was the 1988 Summer Olympics, in Seoul.

That's when they brought tennis back after about 60-odd years.

And Steffi Graf - she won that

and she won all four Grand Slam titles in the same year.

-The only person ever to win a Golden Slam.

-A Golden Slam.

-A Golden Slam.

-What about that?

Very nice. Yes, that was '88?

It was '88, yeah.

Oh, I was thinking it was so recent.

-Well, yeah. I mean...

-It's not.

-It really isn't.

-I'm deluding myself.

-I know, we're quite old, aren't we?

-Yeah, we are.

-Really.

-Yeah.

And do you know? We're the same age, just lots of things happen.

Things have just happened between us and things.

-We're the same age?

-Well, we stay the same age -

just other things get younger, I think. Don't you think?

If only we had two science communicators.

Hannah and Matt, have Xander and I stayed the same age since 1988?

-I can confirm, yes.

-Oh, thank you.

-Oh, that is good news.

-Yes, we have.

-That is good news.

-Just things have got newer, that's all.

Although, though I saw you drive in this morning -

that's the illegal, actually

-cos you're too young.

-LAUGHTER

-And I saw you in a pub the other day.

-I was 18 in '88.

-LAUGHTER

-OK. But you're not allowed...

-Phew, you had me worried there.

-When's your birthday?

-March.

-Is it?

-Yeah.

Has someone told Wikipedia?

Oh, they've got the year, they've got everything wrong.

-Have they?

-They've got me down as a contemporary of Salieri's.

-But that means, officially, you have two birthdays.

-That's true.

-And a parade, obviously.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

Hey, every day in your life is a parade.

-Isn't it?

-Yeah.

-Ah, thank you very much indeed.

Now, James, I have grave news.

I'm afraid you are our high-scorers

even before you've given your final answer.

-I'm sorry.

-That's all right.

I'm sorry, because I think you've probably got quite a good one.

I've got loads flowing in my head.

I was going to go either Oslo or Rome.

I thought I might as well go for a pointless answer

to try and get some money for these guys...

or go to the 200 club, which is just as good.

So, I'm not even sure if they've had the Olympics, but Tokyo.

Tokyo. Tokyo, says James.

No red line, I'm afraid, as you are the high-scorers,

but let's see how many of our 100 said Tokyo.

It's right.

34. APPLAUSE

134 is your total.

Yeah, 1964 Summer Olympics.

Also going to host the Summer Olympics in 2020, Tokyo.

The last Olympics where they used a stopwatch.

These days it's a huge industry, but all done by stopwatch back then.

Tokyo, of course, in Japan.

There's only one answer that's better than Turin -

Turin was a terrific answer.

Only one answer that would've scored fewer points.

2 points if you said Nagano,

which was the site of the 1998 Winter Olympics.

So, very well done if you said that.

And Sochi would've only scored you 11 as well -

it's a very recent Winter Olympics, so well done if you said that.

Let's take a look at the top three answers,

the ones most of our 100 people said.

Berlin would've scored you 40.

Paris would've scored you 41,

and unsurprisingly, at the top,

London, which would've scored you 82.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. So, at the end of our second round,

the pair heading home with a high score of 134,

I'm sorry, James and Jessica, it is you.

Lovely low-scoring in the first round,

particularly from you, Jessica.

Flipped the other way in the second round,

but we'll see you again - I'm sure you'll do much better.

In the meantime, thanks very much.

-James and Jessica.

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

Very well done, Tom and Chris, Hannah and Matt.

You're now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for the jackpot

which currently still stands at £1,000.

You know the deal - you can start playing as teams,

you can chat before you give your answers.

First pair to win two questions will play for that jackpot.

Hannah and Matt, you're back where you were last time.

HE SIGHS You feeling more confident this time?

-Confident that art galleries won't come up again at least.

-Exactly.

We will never see the like again.

Although you need to pull one out of the bag here,

because Tom and Chris have shown their mettle,

and I think they're pretty good.

Yes, it's going to be very, very close, this one.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question, and it concerns...

Million Sellers. Peter's son.

We are going to show you five pictures now

of artists who've had singles in the UK

that have sold more than a million copies.

Can you name the most obscure of these, please?

OK. Let's give our five clues, and here they are...

We have got...

There we are.

Five artists who've sold over a million singles.

Tom and Chris, you've been our low scorers throughout the show,

so you will go first.

-WHISPERS:

-So, is D Odyssey?

-OK.

-Is it?

-I don't know.

-Or E, Righteous Brothers.

-Yeah.

Yeah, I don't know, I would say...

-Do you think...?

-D.

-I don't know what B is.

Do you know D? Do you think it's...?

We're going to go for E,

The Righteous Brothers.

The Righteous Brothers, say Tom and Chris. The Righteous Brothers.

Now then, Hannah and Matt, the board's all yours.

-Do you want to talk us through it?

-Well, we think A is Psy,

B, literally no idea,

C, Wham!

We didn't know who E was,

but we think we're going to take a risk on D

and this is a sort of a bit of a guess, and go with Boney M.

Boney M.

So, The Righteous Brothers and Boney M.

Now, Tom and Chris said The Righteous Brothers for E.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it.

29. APPLAUSE

OK, now, Hannah and Matt have said Boney M for D.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 said Boney M.

That's a really good guess, Hannah and Matt.

Will it go below 29?

Ooh, 42 for Boney M.

APPLAUSE

Very well done.

But well done, Tom and Chris. After one question, you're up 1-0.

Boney M have had two singles that sold over one million copies.

Rivers Of Babylon, which sold over two million copies -

incredibly rare, very few singles have done that -

and Mary Boy's Child as well, and that sold 1.9 million.

Absolutely massive, Boney M were.

The money they made was extraordinary.

Now, A is Psy, of course.

Gangnam Style. 27 points.

That sold just over one million, Psy.

We'll leave B for a moment.

C - I always think if the British Museum

had to have one photograph to

-represent every decade in British history...

-Yeah.

..the 1980s, just done, isn't it? That sums it up.

Anyway, it's a big scorer, Wham!

It is Wham!, of course. Would've score you 78.

Now, this second one is a pointless answer.

He had a huge hit with Somebody That I Used To Know,

and it is Gotye. Pointless answer.

Very well done if you said that.

I thought maybe it was Daniel Powter, who did Bad Day.

-So what do I know?

-I thought it was

Chris Martin with really bad hair. LAUGHTER

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Here comes your second question. Hannah and Matt, you answer it first,

but you've got to win this one to stay in the game, so best of luck.

It concerns...

Snakes, Richard.

We're going to show you the names now of five types of snake,

but we've moved alternate letters.

Can you fill in those gaps, please?

OK, let's reveal our five snakes with missing bits,

and here they are. We've got...

I'll read those all one last time.

Hannah and Matt, you'll go first.

-WHISPERS:

-Do you know any?

-I only know the top one.

-What's the top one?

-Python.

THEY WHISPER

(Yeah, but let's look at the others for a minute.)

There's only two that we know,

and we are just sort of trying to decide which one's the less known.

-Mm-hm.

-This isn't great.

-You sure?

-It's up to you.

But we're going to go with the top one, python

OK. Python, say Hannah and Matt. Python.

Now, Tom and Chris, do you fancy talking us through those snakes?

We said the middle one was anaconda.

-I'm not sure on the others. Are you?

-No.

I recognise the bottom one, cos in the film Kill Bill,

the group of deadly assassins were all names of snakes,

and one of them was called copperhead,

so I think that's copperhead.

Copperhead. So we have python versus copperhead.

Now, Hannah and Matt said python.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said python.

84. APPLAUSE

84 is high.

Tom and Chris, meanwhile, have gone for copperhead.

Let's see that's right, let's see how many people said copperhead.

It's right. Well done.

Very well done indeed.

24 for copperhead. APPLAUSE

And it means, Tom and Chris, after only two questions,

you're through to the final 2-0. Well done.

Yeah, very good answer that.

It's lovely, I always think, when knowledge in other areas,

when you can sort of use your brain and put it into those areas.

Kill Bill helping you out there. Copperhead.

Now, let's take a look at the rest of these.

Anaconda is the third one. It's a better scorer than python.

Not by a huge amount. Would've scored you 72.

They can grow up to 33 feet long, anacondas.

-It's too long.

-I wouldn't like that.

-Too long.

Do you like snakes? I'm quite scared of them.

-We found a snake in our compost heap at the weekend.

-What, we did?

-Do you remember?

-You know what? I didn't know we had a compost heap.

Wow! I know.

-Although, it does explain the smell.

-LAUGHTER

-Yeah.

-You found a snake? What sort of snake?

Well, I don't know, a brown snake, probably about that long.

-No, it wasn't that long.

-About that... It was.

-All right.

-It was definitely a snake.

-It wasn't a rabbit.

-But massive?

Yeah. Well, sort of that long. I mean, sort of that...

That. Yeah, it wasn't anaconda length.

Have you left your family at home with it?

Yeah, they... Family informed.

I've put a sticker on the compost that says that - "Family informed."

-Yeah.

-Let's go through the rest of these, shall we?

The fourth one down is hognose.

Would've scored you 5 points.

Says it's a harmless North American snake that eats toads.

-To which I say, well, it's not harmless to toads then, is it?

-No.

5 points for that.

And the top one, it's a... It's an Australian snake.

I know some people work these out

even if they don't know the answers just by what it could be.

It ends -back, definitely, which you can work out,

and it's a keelback.

Keelback, and would've scored you 3 points.

It lives in manure patches in England

-and, and kills at will.

-LAUGHTER

-Very angry, very angry snake.

-Yeah.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

I'm afraid, for the second time.

Been some great consistencies in that regard in this show.

I'm afraid we have to say goodbye. You haven't made it to the final.

You'll have to come back in disguise and try and get through.

It's been wonderful having you. Thank you.

-Hannah and Matt.

-Well done, guys.

-APPLAUSE

But for Tom and Chris, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Very well done, Tom and Chris.

You've seen off all the competition with comparative ease, I have to say,

and have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £1,000.

There it is.

Well, I think we put you through your paces.

We had our films in haiku form, we had our Olympic host cities,

we had our million-seller singles, and we had snakes.

And, yeah, you made quick work of all of them, and here you are.

What would you like to see come up in this last round?

-I'd say films or music for me.

-Mm-hm.

Maybe geography or sport or something.

Well, that's quite a nice broad base you're covering there.

Let's hope there's something here you like the look.

Today's selection of four options reads like this.

We have...

-African geography, yeah?

-I can't...

-Yeah.

-African geography.

-African geography it is. Richard.

Very best of luck. Three different questions here.

Let's take a look at them. We're looking for...

That's the top 19 most densely-populated African countries

according to the UN last time it was checked in 2010.

We're looking for any of the nine provinces of South Africa,

or we are looking for the name of any capital city,

any African capital city in the southern hemisphere.

The city needs to be in the southern hemisphere

rather than just the country

up to June 2015.

So, any of those top 19 most densely-populated African countries,

any of the nine provinces of South Africa

or any African capital city which is in the southern hemisphere.

Thanks very much indeed.

Now, you've got up to a minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that jackpot

is for just one of your answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

Let's put 60 seconds up on the clock. There they are.

Your time starts now.

So, I know a few capital cities.

-So...maybe Maputu. Maputo, sorry.

-Yeah, yeah.

-..in Mozambique.

-Mozambique's a good one.

Lusaka's in...

..in Zambia. Harare, Zimbabwe.

Er...

Where's the Seychelles?

Yeah, it's off... It's an island of the shore, yeah.

Where else?

Bloemfontein, South Africa.

Erm...

-Luanda, Angola.

-OK.

-Do you know any of these?

-I can't provide much help, mate.

-This is your bag - not mine.

-OK, OK. Yeah, so I think...

Yeah, we've got a few there.

Let's do Lusaka, Luanda, Maputo.

-They sound good to me.

-Yeah?

-Yeah, yeah.

-Are you happy to stop the clock?

-Yeah, I think so.

-Yeah.

OK, we'll stop the clock. There we are.

You've got your three answers. Tell me what they are.

-Maputo.

-Maputo.

-Luanda.

-Luanda.

-Lusaka.

-It's for the African capital cities.

-African capital cities.

OK, now, of those three, which is your best shot, would you say,

at a pointless answer?

-Maputo, probably.

-Maputo, we'll put last.

Least likely to be pointless?

-Luanda.

-Luanda goes first, and Lusaka in the middle.

OK, well, let's pop those up on the board in that order,

and here they are.

We've got Luanda, we've got Lusaka, and we've got Maputo.

Well, three great answers up there.

Let's hope at least one of those is pointless

and will win you that jackpot.

Tom, what would you do with your share of the spoils

if you were to win?

It's my wife's birthday in a few weeks,

so we'd probably go away for the weekend.

Very nice. Chris, how about you?

I'd set up and open an account for my little girl.

Aw, very nice. Well, best of luck.

As I say, your first answer, in fact, all three of your answers

we were looking for capital cities in Africa that were below the equator.

Your first answer was Luanda. Let's see if it's right.

You thought this was probably

your least confident shot at a pointless answer.

If it is pointless, it'll win you £1,000.

Let's see how may people said Luanda.

It's right.

OK, well, if this goes all the way down to 0,

you will leave here with £1,000.

Down it goes. Through the teens, into single figures.

Still going down, still going down...

-Oh!

-Oh, mate!

APPLAUSE

-It's the first one, mate.

-2.

That's a great answer.

I mean, in any normal round of Pointless,

you'd be thrilled with 2.

Sadly, in this round, it's only pointless answers,

but, as I say, that's a cracking answer.

Let's hope one of your two remaining answers is pointless.

Your second answer was Lusaka.

Let's find out, for £1,000, how many people said it. Is it pointless?

Well, it's right.

Luanda took us all the way down to 2.

Lusaka now taking us through the 40s and the 30s.

If it goes down to 0, you leave with £1,000.

Single figures. Down it goes...

Oh, 4...

APPLAUSE

4. Again, a great score, but I'm afraid not pointless,

which means everything is now riding on your third and final answer,

which was Maputo.

We were looking for capital cities in the southern hemisphere.

It has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot.

Let's see how many people said Maputo. Can it please be pointless?

OK. Luanda took us all the way down to 2,

Lusaka took us down to 4.

Maputo, now, taking us down into single figures.

Down it goes. Still going down.

Passes 4, passes 2.

Oh!

APPLAUSE

Mate...

Oh, that is...

That is unbelievably cruel.

I mean, you clearly,

you know your southern hemisphere African capitals, I'm sure.

Perhaps if you'd used those extra nine seconds,

you might've suddenly thought of a fail-safe pointless answer.

That is so unfortunate.

Brilliant answering in all three instances,

but I'm afraid you didn't find that all-important pointless answer,

so you don't win today's jackpot of £1,000.

That rolls over onto the next show.

But hold your heads up high -

a very strong performance right across the show,

and you get a Pointless trophy each to take home for it,

-so very, very well done.

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

APPLAUSE DROWNS OUT SPEECH

Tom and Chris, what an effort. Very, very well played.

That's really, really unlucky.

Most of the pointless answers here are in that category, the capitals,

and I know when I read some out, you're going to know some of them.

I know for a fact you know one of them,

cos one of the three capitals of South Africa is Bloemfontein,

and that was a pointless answer.

Would've won you the cash.

Let's take a look at the answers in the other categories first.

There's fewer in these.

The densely-populated African countries -

the two pointless answers were Benin and Togo.

Well done if you said either of those at home.

Let's take a look at the South African provinces - three answers.

KwaZulu-Natal, Mpumalanga and Northern Cape.

Well done if you said any of those.

Now, let's look at these capitals. There's quite a few.

Kigali, which is Rwanda, Lilongwe, which is Malawi.

Moroni, which is the Comoros, Port Louis, which is Mauritius.

You also could've had Brazzaville, Congo,

you could've had Bujumbura, Burundi.

You could've had either of the Tanzanian capitals -

Dar es Salaam or Dodoma.

And you could've had Victoria, which is the capital of the Seychelles,

which you also discussed.

Gents, you played brilliantly from start to finish,

and a valiant, valiant effort in that final round as well. Unlucky.

There we go. Thanks very much, Richard.

Well, unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to you,

but we've loved having you. You've been fantastic contestants.

Thank you for playing. Tom and Chris.

Well, very sadly, Tom and Chris didn't win our jackpot today,

which means it rolls over onto the next show

when we will be playing for £2,000.

AUDIENCE CHEERS

Join us then to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.