Episode 55 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong. Welcome to Pointless, the show where

the more obscure your knowledge, the better your chances of winning.

Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

And couple number one.

Hi, I'm Sean, this is my partner Matt, and we're from Leicester.

-Couple number two.

-Hi, my name's Danniella,

and this is my boyfriend Mat. We're from Manchester.

Couple number three.

Hello, my name's Anne, this is my husband John,

and we're from Birmingham.

And finally, couple number four.

Now then, my name's Dave and this is my wife Adele,

and we're from Knaresborough.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much, all of you.

We'll find out more about you throughout the show as it

goes along. That leaves one more person for me to introduce -

the crackpot with the laptop, it's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-Hiya.

-APPLAUSE

Hi, everybody. Afternoon.

-Good afternoon to you.

-Good afternoon.

I just noticed on our line-up today, all four couples are actual couples.

All four of them. That's quite rare, isn't it?

So it's not so much a quiz now as a test of your life choices.

-LAUGHTER

-Who made the best choice?

You wouldn't want to be knocked out first, would you,

-in a battle of couples?

-No.

Talking of getting knocked out first, podium one,

we have, er... Matt and Sean have come back.

Sean, you gave a lovely answer. Words ending G-E-N-T, wasn't it?

-Beautiful answer.

-Stringent, yeah.

And then Matt gave us sergeant, which, of course,

ends E-A-N-T, so they were knocked out first time,

but I suspect we'll see more of them this time.

Danniella and Mathew, also back. Got knocked out in Round Two.

And we welcome our two new pairs on the end there as well.

It should be a cracker.

Just to let you know, Adam and Lucy, who -

the first two podiums will know -

they won the jackpot last time, four-and-a-bit thousand pounds.

Even worse news, they absolutely fluked it.

LAUGHTER Yeah, they did.

But at least you've all got happy partnerships

to see you through this tragic news.

LAUGHTER

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Yes, as you'll have gathered, Adam and Lucy did indeed win

the jackpot last time, so we start off with a jackpot today of £1,000.

There it is.

Right, well, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

Now, as ever, all you have to remember,

the pair - or today I can say the couple -

with the highest score at the end of each round will be eliminated.

Remember, there is to be no conferring till our third round.

Best of luck, all four pairs. Our first category this afternoon is...

-History. Oh, Sean, is it that awful, really?

-Yeah, yeah.

It'll be fine, it'll be fine.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

H For History. Richard.

Yeah, Sean was worried, now Matt's worried it's a spelling round,

-but it's not, don't worry.

-LAUGHTER

On each board, we'll give you seven clues to people,

places or events from history that begin with H.

You just need to give us the most obscure answer, please.

There's going to be 14 in all to have a go at at home, so very best of luck.

OK, so we're looking for the answers to these clues.

They all begin with H. Here's our first board of seven.

It reads like this... HE READS CLUES

I'll read those all one last time.

There we go. Matt, welcome back. Remind us what you do.

-Erm, I'm a sales coordinator for a ticketing company.

-That's quite fun.

Does that mean you're actually on the phone or are you overseeing?

Yeah, I'm on the phone a lot of the time, anyone with any enquiries.

We work with a lot of, like, arts centres, theatres and venues.

Do you have a live desk as well, where people can go? A window?

No, I work from home, but I'm on the phone and things.

Oh, but that's a shame, not to have a live desk with a window,

cos you get those tickets that come out of the metal, which is fun.

What are your interests, Matt?

Erm, I'm in a lot of musical theatre.

I listen to a lot of music,

play a lot of board games in my spare time as well.

OK, now, how are you feeling, now you've seen this board of Hs?

It's not too bad, but I don't think it's going to be anything

obscure, I think it's going to be what people do know, so we've always

said to play it safe, so I think for the dam,

it's going to be Hoover.

The Hoover Dam. Hoover, says Matt. Let's see if it's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Hoover.

It's right.

APPLAUSE

-Very good. 67 for Hoover.

-Very well played.

Yeah, there's enough concrete in the Hoover Dam to make a footpath

four feet wide across the... all the way around the equator.

LAUGHTER

That's already boggled my mind beyond comprehension.

They should have done that, then you could walk around the equator.

Cos at the moment, the underfoot of the equator is very uneven.

-Well, yeah, some of it's sea.

-It'd be better.

-Isn't it?

But imagine if you had a footpath, little cycle lane next to it...

-Actually, it's only four foot.

-LAUGHTER

Four foot. Nah.

It would turn into a road before you knew it. Thank you very much indeed.

Now, Danniella, welcome back. Now it was Round Two for you last time.

-Yeah.

-Remind us what you do, Danniella.

I just graduated with a degree in accounting and finance.

And have you got things lined up?

Erm, sort of choosing at the moment.

"Choosing." Brackets, "On holiday."

Fine, that's fine, that's good. What are your interests, Danniella?

I...

like, general stuff, like any sort of person, music or movies.

I quite like coding now. I've got the coding bug.

-Coding?

-Yeah.

-Bring it on, yeah?

-Come on, tell me. I, I'm... I've ducked this one.

So you can program stuff, like, I did an app...

That's enough!

OK, Danniella, what would you... LAUGHTER

What would you like to go for on this board?

Oh, my gosh, erm...

I was going to go for Hoover because that was the safe one.

Erm...

I'm looking at the country next, going back and forth

between two ones, but I'm just...

I think I'm going with Hungary.

-I'm not sure. I don't know.

-Hungary. Well, let's hope so.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Hungary.

-Oh!

-It's right.

Well, 67 we've got so far. You pass it.

We have a low score. 35.

APPLAUSE

Well played, Danniella.

Yeah, the Hungarian Uprising... was in Hungary.

-That's where they got the name from.

-That's where they've got it.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Now, Anne, a very warm welcome to Pointless.

I like the floral co-ordination there. Look at that, beautiful.

Very nice indeed. Now, Anne, welcome.

What do you do, Anne?

-I'm a teacher and I teach psychology and sociology.

-I see.

At what sort of age do people start learning that?

That's just A-level, is it?

It is where I teach it, it's A-level subjects, yes.

How long have you done that for?

-A very long time.

-Oh!

Oh, there's a note of not entirely enjoying it, or maybe

-it's just been a long year.

-Yes, yes, it has been a long year.

Well, you've had a nice, long holiday to put your feet up

-and forget about it for a little bit.

-Yes, we have.

OK, now, Anne, what are your interests when not sociology

and psychology teaching?

Well, I enjoy literature, the natural world, walking

-and spending time with my husband John here.

-Very good.

John looking, going "Mm?" Interesting.

Whole range of expressions crossing his face at that point.

Anne, what would you like to go for on this board of Hs?

OK, well, there's a couple that I might pick, but I think I'm going

to go for the English painter and social critic and say Hogarth.

Hogarth, says Anne. Let's see if Hogarth's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

Well, 67's our high score, you pass it.

35's our low score.

You pass it.

Hogarth takes you to 17!

Look at that. Very well done indeed, Anne. Well chosen.

APPLAUSE

Well played, Anne. Yeah, that's sociology teachers for you -

very bright. I think it's slightly fallen out of favour, sociology.

I genuinely think it's one of the most important subjects you can do.

-Well, it was what you did at university.

-Yeah.

Not just because of that,

but there's an obsession now with science and engineering.

They're very important, I understand that, but you also have to

understand the world, its people, and how these things get together.

The importance of sociology in...

I was going to say O-level education, then.

Yeah, come on, Grandad!

LAUGHTER

At least I've heard of coding!

Yeah, there you are, exactly!

-Thanks very much indeed, Richard. Now, Dave, welcome.

-Hi.

Great to have you here, Dave from Knaresborough.

What do you do, Dave?

Well, my job title is an information security expert.

Wow. Unpick that.

I work for a retail and online grocers, one of the biggest,

-and I look after the data that comes in and goes out.

-Very nice indeed.

And what do you do when you're not doing that?

Erm, well, I used to be into football and rugby.

I'm a bit older and larger now, so it's more like golf,

and I've just rediscovered table tennis.

Very good indeed. Now, Dave,

what are you going to go for on this board?

It's all yours, if you like.

You could talk us through it and fill in all the blanks.

"Fill in all the blanks." A lot of guesses on the blanks, I would say.

The name Horatio sticks in my mind for the naval officer and...

I don't think I know the Romans, what they called Ireland.

Helvetica is in my head as well.

And I imagine the king was...

perhaps one of the Henrys, but I wouldn't know which one.

Maybe even Henry I.

But I'm going to stick very safe and go with the bottom one,

which is Hastings.

"Hastings," says Dave.

OK, let's see if Hastings is right,

let's see how many of our 100 people have said Hastings.

It is right.

59.

APPLAUSE

59. Interesting.

Scores less than Hoover. Very interesting.

-There we are.

-It is interesting, isn't it?

You went for the right one, though,

because you got all the other ones wrong.

LAUGHTER

Let's go through what they are.

Of course, Nelson's first name was Horatio,

but his naval officer was...

-Hardy.

-Hardy. Of course it was.

As in, Kismet Hardy, or "Kis-met" Hardy.

28 points for that. The name given by the Romans to Ireland...

-It's Hibernia.

-Hibernia. Yup.

13 points for that.

And the name and regnal number, it was Henry.

It was Henry the... Do you know that?

Let's go for the fourth.

-Is the correct answer.

-Wahey!

-Very well done.

Very well done. 8 points for that. Best answer on the board.

APPLAUSE Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Well, we're halfway through the round,

so let's take a look at those scores as they stand.

17, Anne, many congratulations. Lovely low score there,

putting you and John at the top of the table.

Then we travel up to 35 where we find Danniella and Mathew,

very good indeed.

59's where we find Dave and Adele.

67, Matt.

I know. I don't know.

-Better than last time.

-You could have gone for Hastings.

And then... Exactly. You'd be where Dave and Adele are.

But, Sean, the pressure is on.

Once again, you might have to ride to Matt's rescue there -

but we know you can do it. Best of luck.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put seven more clues up on the board, and here they are.

We've got...

I'll read those one last time.

HE REPEATS OPTIONS

There we are. Adele, welcome to Pointless.

Good to have you here.

-What do you do, Adele?

-I work in retail.

I'm an operations manager

for a designer department store in Harrogate.

Very... Oh, Harrogate's lovely.

-It's very nice.

-Very nice indeed.

What do you do when you're not doing that?

Well, myself and Dave have two very small children, so...

that kind of answers that question.

Now, Adele, what would you like to go for on this board?

You're on 59. You're not the high-scorers.

If you could score seven or less,

you'd definitely be in the next round.

If I could, I'd go risky

but I think I might have to stay safe...

I hope it's safe anyway.

..with the British royal house which ruled from 1714-1901

as Hanover.

"Hanover," says Adele.

Hanover. Here's your red line.

You have to get below that.

Let's see if you can. How many people said Hanover?

Not bad, Adele. 44.

APPLAUSE

Takes your total up to 103.

Well played, Adele.

Now, you know about royal things.

Do you think there'll ever be another royal house?

-Is interesting, that, isn't it?

-It's quite hard to imagine now, isn't it?

Yeah. I suppose, if they moved their base somewhere, they might choose...

-Have they got a base?

-Oh, yeah.

It's all about the base.

LAUGHTER

You can't... You can't imagine anyone being usurped or anything...

You wouldn't have thought so, no.

Or some sort of new line being brought in from somewhere else.

-It would be fun, though.

-It'd be really exciting.

-Interesting.

-It'd be a good reality TV show.

-Yeah.

-Wouldn't it?

-Looking for a new Royal family.

Thank you very much indeed.

John.

-Welcome.

-Hi.

Now what do you do, John?

I'm a teacher and deputy head in a primary school.

How long have you done that for?

-15 years.

-Very good. Enjoying it?

-Love it. Yeah, it's a lovely job.

-Very good indeed.

What are your interests, aside from the teaching?

Everything that Anne likes, I tend to like

but I also do DIY,

which she doesn't like.

So, I get the little jobs she'd like me to do.

OK. What are the jobs on your list at the moment, John?

I have a list, of course.

The top of the list, this year, was a bird box...

-Yeah.

-..but not just a bird box, it was a three-compartment bird box.

-Yeah... I... Whoa.

-Yeah.

Why would you do the three-compartment bird box?

Just so bird families could live next door to each other?

Well, sparrows, apparently, are in decline -

from 25 million a few years ago to ten million now,

and they like to congregate together and live sociably,

so it had to be a little terraced run

of bird boxes in one.

Well, well done, you. That's great.

Now, John, good news for you - 85 or less gets you through.

-Oh, good. That's great news.

-85 or less.

What are you going to go for?

There's two I'm pretty secure on, I think,

and one I'd have to take a bit of a gamble so...

I think I will look at...

..the ancient poet

traditionally believed to be author of the Iliad and the Odyssey

-as Homer.

-"Homer," says John.

Here is your red line.

If you can get below this red line with Homer,

you are through the next round.

Well done. You've done it.

59. APPLAUSE

59, taking our total up to 76 on that podium.

Well played, John. Safely through.

Very, very little is known of Homer and his life.

They believe he was blind and he lived in Ionia, but that's...

about as much as we know.

Thanks very much indeed.

Now, Mathew.

Mathew, welcome back.

Remind us what you do, Mathew.

-I'm a trainee accountant.

-A trainee accountant.

And your interests, Mathew?

I like running, going to the gym, healthy things like that.

Healthy things.

Do you have any unhealthy interest?

Not too many.

Just a few. Enough.

-Just a few.

-OK, there we are.

Danniella laughing awkwardly.

OK, 35 is your score at the moment.

The high-scorers are Adele and Dave on 103,

so 67 or less gets you through.

I'm fairly sure that

the birth state of Barack Obama was Hawaii,

so I'm going to go with Hawaii.

"Hawaii," says Mathew.

Here's your red line. If you can get below that red line with Hawaii,

you're into Round Two.

How many people said Hawaii?

You've done it.

40. APPLAUSE

75 is your total.

Well played, Mathew. Yeah, born in Honolulu in 1961.

His parents met at the University of Hawaii.

-That would be a nice place to go to university...

-I bet it is.

-Yeah.

-..don't you think?

-Yeah.

-Thank you very much indeed.

Now, Sean.

Remind us what you do, Sean.

I'm an IT test and support analyst.

-Test and support?

-Mm-hmm.

OK. So, you're attached to a business?

Yeah, we...

And you are the white knight

who rides to everyone's rescue when things go wrong.

It doesn't feel like a white knight sometimes but, yeah, I'll take that.

No, I think people are always pleased to see IT.

The soothing voice of somebody who can just make everything work.

It's great. Now, Sean, what are your interests outside of IT?

Like Matt, I also do musical theatre,

but my biggest hobby is sleight of hand magic.

Do you have a... I say a nom de plume,

-but do you have an alias as a magician?

-I don't.

-You just go by Sean?

-I might take "Nom De Plume",

that sounds like a pretty cool magician's name.

Pretty good, pretty good.

Very good. Now, you have a target here, which is 35.

You can't be worried, can you, Sean?

I'd be a lot less worried

if Mathew hadn't just said the only answer I knew on the board.

O...K.

HE GROANS

There's a guy at work who's going to be screaming at me for this

but I'm going to have to completely besmirch our reputation and say...

the royal dynasty of Austria-Hungary

which took its name from an 11th century castle...

..Hanoi.

Hanoi.

OK? OK. "Hanoi," says Sean.

Here is your red line.

You just have to get below that...

-Just that(!)

-..with Hanoi.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Hanoi.

AUDIENCE GROANS

What(?)

I'm afraid not, Sean.

That scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 167.

Yeah, not Hanoi, I'm afraid.

All of those remaining answers would have seen you through as well.

Every single one of them,

so let's go through them from the biggest scorer to the lowest scorer.

The biggest scorer there is the zeppelin, which is...

-The Hindenburg.

-The Hindenburg. Absolutely.

Would have scored you 28 points.

The next biggest, the Roman emperor. You'd know him very well.

-Hadrian.

-Hadrian.

Exactly right. Built that wall.

He was attempting to build a wall right round the equator,

he ran out of concrete and...

LAUGHTER

..that's where he had to stop. 27 points for that.

The royal dynasty?

-Habsburg.

-The Habsburgs, yes.

16 points for that.

Now, do you know the top one? Best answer on the board.

-I don't, no.

-It is Hellespont.

-Ah!

-That would've scored you 5 points.

So, very well done if you said that at home.

Yep, well, thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of our first round, the pair...

This is becoming monotonous, sending you home at the end

of the first round, Sean and Matt,

but I'm afraid we have to do it again.

I'm so sorry. It's been great having you on the show.

I'm sorry that we haven't seen you progress beyond Round One

but thank you all the same.

Sean and Matt, great contestants.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And so, suddenly, we're down to three pairs.

At the end of this round,

obviously we will have to say goodbye to another pair.

Danniella and Mathew, very well done.

Our lowest scoring pair in that first round.

Very impressive indeed. Anne, well done.

Our lowest individual scorer there with Hogarth.

Adele and Dave, just great.

Well done. Keep it up.

Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two, this afternoon, is Singles.

Singles. Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second

and whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. And the question concerns...

Colourful Singles, Richard.

In a moment, Xander's going to show you the names of four colours.

We're looking for any UK Top 40 single,

up to the beginning of March 2015,

that contains one of those words, please.

It has to be just that word, not part of a longer word.

So, any UK Top 40 single

that contains one of the words you're about to see.

Very best of luck.

We only need the title, we don't need the act as well.

Very good indeed. OK, so, as Richard has just mentioned,

we're going to put four words up, four colours,

we won't be changing them halfway through the round,

they stay up for the whole round.

We just want any single that contains one of these words,

and here they are.

HE REPEATS OPTIONS

Now, Mathew.

Yes, OK.

I can only think of some really famous ones.

I'm going to say Black Betty.

"Black Betty," says Mathew.

Black Betty. Let's see how many of our 100 people said Black Betty.

It's right.

4.

APPLAUSE

Off to a good start there, Mathew, very well done.

Black Betty scores 4.

I love that song. Yeah, by Ram Jam.

It was from 1977, the original.

They remixed it as well.

I think that's when I first became aware of pop music in any way.

-We must have been like six years old, weren't we?

-Yeah. Yeah.

-Love that song.

-It's a good song.

-Not heard it for years.

-Bam-ba-lam.

-It's great. Yeah. Good.

-I didn't expect Mathew to say that.

No.

No. But he did. Well done.

-Now, John.

-Mm-hm.

-John.

-Hello.

-Yes.

Black, brown, grey or white.

-They're not the brightest colours, are they?

-No.

I was expecting red...

-Well, white can sometimes be, can't it?

-I suppose it could be, yes.

Or arguably THE brightest - but, yes, you're right.

-Yes, that's true.

-Yes.

I think...

I'm looking at brown.

The Stranglers - Golden Brown.

"Golden Brown," says John.

Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Golden Brown.

Oh, look at that. Seven. Very well done indeed.

APPLAUSE

7 for Golden Brown.

Yeah, a number two hit for the Stranglers -

-also been the new title of two other top 40 hits.

-Lovely song.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Dave.

OK.

I think... There's one I've got in my head,

I'm not sure if it's an expanded title to what I'm going to say.

I think it's been covered a few times, so it might be quite big,

but it's White Lines.

"White Lines," says Dave.

Sounds good to me. Let's see if it's right,

let's see how many people said White Lines.

It's right.

Now, 7's our highest score,

4 is our low.

2 for White Lines. APPLAUSE

Well played, Dave. Great answer, Dave.

Yeah, by Grandmaster Flash and Melle Mel.

Thanks very much, Richard. Well, we're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores. 2. Well done, Dave.

2, the best score of the pass, Dave and Adele looking very good.

Then up to 4 where we find Mathew and Danniella.

Then up to 7, John and Anne.

Very close, all these scores.

Very, very close indeed but, Anne, you are ahead.

So, no getting away from that fact.

We still need a low score from you, so best of luck with that.

We're going to come back down the line. Do you know what?

I bet there are some pointless answers out there.

There must be lots. Let's see if we can find some in this next pass.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

Now then, Adele.

So, we're looking for the name of any top 40 single

containing black, brown, grey or white.

I think I'm going to go for...

Back To Black.

"Back To Black, says Adele. Very good.

Now, here is your red line.

You want to be scoring 4 or less, ideally -

and it looks like that, 4.

If you get below that, you're into the head-to-head.

It's right.

7 for Back To Black.

APPLAUSE

Takes your total up to 9.

Some very good scoring going on.

yeah, Amy Winehouse, of course.

Top 10 single for her and the album it came from

sold 3.5 million copies in the UK.

One of the biggest selling albums of all time in the UK.

My goodness. Now, Anne...

you are on 7.

If you can score one or less...

..you're through to the next round.

Yeah, this is a bit tricky. It's very low scores.

There's a couple, but I'm going to have to go for...

It might be a high-scorer so, sorry, John.

..Paint It Black.

"Paint It Black," says Anne.

Let's see how we do with Paint It Black.

You want to be scoring one or less.

There's your red line.

I mean, yes.

A red layer.

If you can get below that, you're into the next round.

Paint It Black - how many people said it?

14 for Paint It Black...

APPLAUSE

..taking you up to 21.

Yeah, the sixth number one for the Rolling Stones, of course.

-Paint It Black.

-Thanks very much indeed.

Now then, Danniella,

that's given you

a little bit of leeway there.

16 or less gets you through.

There must be some pointless answers out there.

-I hope so.

-Oh.

I think, cos everyone has got quite low scores,

so I guess I'm going to have to take a risk.

I don't know if that's the right strategy.

Let's see, so Back To Black's one,

Brown Eyed Girl is probably quite high. White...

I'm trying to think of Taylor Swift songs.

She probably has, like, White Horse or something.

But grey... I think I'm going to go with grey.

I've heard it on the radio.

I'm hoping it's the title of a song.

Grey Sky Morning.

"Grey Sky Morning," says Danniella.

Grey Sky Morning. Mathew, what do you think?

I'm not sure.

OK. Tactfully put.

There's your red line, Danniella.

If you can get below that with Grey Sky Morning,

you are through to the head-to-head.

Let's see if it's right,

let's see how many people said Grey Sky Morning.

Oh, Danniella.

Danniella, that was punchy and brave.

I'm afraid it was also wrong.

It scores you 100 points,

takes your total up to 104. Sorry.

Yeah, it's a song called Best I Ever Had (Grey Sky Morning)

-by Vertical Horizon - but not a top 40 hit, I'm afraid.

-OK.

There's loads of pointless answers there, as you can imagine.

Let's take a look at some of them.

Black Cat, that's Janet Jackson.

Black Coffee, by All Saints, is a pointless answer.

Black Pudding Bertha, by the Goodies...

LAUGHTER

..would have been a very strong answer.

Charlie Brown, that was a hit for the Coasters.

Also a hit for Coldplay as well.

They have a single called that. Grey Day.

-That was mine. Madness.

-Oh, was it?

-That was mine.

-Well done, pointless answer.

-Yeah.

-Easy to say now, of course.

-Well, obviously.

Men In Black, Will Smith, that's a pointless answer.

Well done if you said that.

Nazareth had a hit with My White Bicycle.

Doris Day had The Black Hills Of Dakota.

White Light, also a pointless answer. That was George Michael.

A few others you could have had. Black And White Town by Doves.

You could have had Black Eyed Boy, Texas.

Soundgarden - Black Hole Sun would have been a good answer.

White Riot, by the Clash, also a pointless answer, amazingly.

Let's take a look at the top three -

the ones that most of our 100 people said.

Brown Girl In The Ring, Boney M, would have scored 27.

Black Is Black, 28.

-And White Christmas...

-AUDIENCE GROANS

..was 30 points.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of our second round, the pair we are saying goodbye to...

I mean, this is just a carbon copy of last time round.

Round One, we said goodbye to Sean and Matt.

Round Two, we're saying goodbye to Danniella and Mathew but...

I'm sorry we're saying goodbye so soon,

it's been great having you on both shows.

Thank you so much for playing. Danniella and Mathew.

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

Very well done, John and Anne, Adele and Dave.

You are now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot which currently stands at £1,000.

Now, you know the deal here.

You can start playing as teams.

You can confer before you give your answers.

First player to win two questions plays for that jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs, let's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Here comes your first question, and it concerns...

LAUGHTER

Men With Cats, Richard.

Yeah, we're about to show you five pictures now

of famous men with cats.

We would like you to name the cats, please.

We wouldn't really, we'd like you to name the famous men, please.

Thank you very much indeed.

Let's reveal our five men with cats,

and here they are. We have...

There we are. Five famous men with cats.

John and Anne, you are our low scorers, so you will go first.

THEY WHISPER

I think we'll go for E.

Laurence Olivier.

Laurence Olivier.

E - "Laurence Olivier," say John and Anne.

Now, Adele and Dave, talk us through that board.

OK, we think A is Salvador Dali,

we think B is Pavarotti...

..C looks like it could be Freddie Mercury

and D is George Clooney.

I think we're going to go with A, Salvador Dali.

A - Salvador Dali.

So, we have Laurence Olivier and we have Salvador Dali.

John and Anne said Laurence Olivier for E. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

That's a good answer. 19.

APPLAUSE

19 for Laurence Olivier.

Now, Adele and Dave, meanwhile,

have said that A is Salvador Dali. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said Salvador Dali.

31.

APPLAUSE

Very well done, John and Anne.

After one question, you are up 1-0.

Yep. Well played. He's actually got an ocelot there, Salvador Dali.

It's his pet ocelot, yeah. That's why it looks slightly unusual.

Now, B is not Pavarotti.

It is... Do you know who that is?

It is a tough one.

-It's Stanley Kubrick.

-AUDIENCE MURMURS

Stanley Kubrick would have scored you 3 points.

Terrific answer at home if you got that. Well played.

C is, of course, Freddie Mercury.

That would've scored you 47.

I bet it would be fun to be Freddie Mercury's cat.

I bet they had nice lives, Freddie Mercury's pet cats.

-Yeah, I bet they did.

-Don't you think?

-Yeah.

He doted on them.

He used to ring home and talk to them when he was on tour.

LAUGHTER

D is, of course, George Clooney.

That would've scored you 79 points.

There we are. Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Here comes your second question.

Adele and Dave, you get to answer it first

but you have to win it to stay in the game. So, best of luck.

It concerns...

Famous Ships, Richard.

I'm going to show you the names of five famous ships

but they are in anagram form, I'm afraid.

Can you unscramble them and give us the best answer?

OK. let's reveal our five ships in anagram form, and here they are.

We've got...

I'll read those all one last time.

HE REPEATS OPTIONS

There we are. Adele and Dave, you will go first.

I think there's only one we know, isn't there?

And it's the second one down.

Cutty Sark.

"Cutty Sark," say Adele and Dave.

Cutty Sark. Now then, John and Anne, the rest of the board's all yours.

Talk us through it.

Not sure about Gee Lab.

For some reason, it's just not coming through.

Mayflower for the third one.

That one looks nice,

-a nice drink at the end of it.

-Mmm!

Don't know.

Think the last one is Bismarck.

-Bismarck.

-What do you want to go for? Bismarck.

-You're going to go for Bismarck?

-Bismarck, yes.

-Bismarck.

So, we have Cutty Sark and we have Bismarck.

Now then, Adele and Dave said Cutty Sark for Catty Rusk.

Let's see if that's right and,

if it is, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

Look at that, 81.

81. Now then, John and Anne,

that's what you have to beat with Bismarck.

Let's see if you can do it.

-Yep. Very well done.

-Oh, my gosh.

Good answer.

18. APPLAUSE

INAUDIBLE

18 - which means, John and Anne, after only two questions,

you're through to the final, 2-0.

Yeah, Bismarck's a very good answer. Well played.

The top one you couldn't quite see is...

-Beagle.

-The Beagle, yeah.

Charles Darwin's ship, of course.

28 points for that.

Leafy worm, you're correct, was Mayflower.

That would've scored you 24.

Now, this last one,

it's an American frigate.

It's actually the oldest commissioned military vessel

still afloat and you just have to work out the anagram, really.

It's an anagram of quite a common word

-if you haven't heard of the ship.

-Got it.

-Constitution.

-Constitution is the right answer.

Would have scored you 2 points, so very well done if you got that.

Thank you very much indeed.

OK, so, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

I'm afraid, Adele and Dave.

Well, it's good news for us.

It means we get to see you again next time,

otherwise it would all have been over in one show.

That would have been too quick.

We're looking forward to that very much.

In the meantime, thanks very much. Adele and Dave.

APPLAUSE

But for John and Anne, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Look at that, John and Anne.

You've fought off all the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

-Fantastic.

-Yeah.

We came for the trophy. We're happy.

-And the money.

-Oh.

And the money, of course.

Because you now have the chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing still at £1,000.

Anything you'd particularly like to see come up on board?

Charles Dickens novels.

Oh. Literature.

Literature, generally, because Anne's really good on books...

-We haven't had any geography.

-Oh!

-No, we haven't.

That's a point.

Here are four things. Let's hope one of them gets somewhere close.

It's like a dream, isn't it, that?

LAUGHTER

-So, Politics...? The last one?

-I think Politics.

Let's just hope it's politics...

-We're not so old we can remember 1950s film musicals, so...

-No.

-..we'd better...

-Going PPE at the end.

-PPE.

-PPE, please.

-PPE, please.

-OK. Richard.

-Yeah, very best of luck.

One question on politics, one on philosophy, one on economics.

Very different ones as well. Let's take a look at them.

We're looking for the name of any world leader,

that's any head of state or head of government of any country

who has appeared as Time Magazine's Person of the Year

since 1927 when that first came out.

So, any world leader who's been the Time Magazine Person of the Year,

apart from in 1993 when there was a whole series of them on the cover.

Forget that.

We're looking for the name of any philosophers

in Bruce's Philosophers Song by Monty Python.

That's from the 2014 album Monty Python Sings Again.

Or we're looking for any winners of the

Nobel Memorial Prize in Economic Sciences from 1969 up to 2014.

So...

-Very best of luck.

-Thank you very much indeed.

OK, now, as always, you've got up to one minute

to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that jackpot of £1,000

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-As ready as we'll ever be.

-Yes.

Excellent. Well, let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

OK, world leaders - I know Saddam Hussein was one of them, shockingly.

-Really?!

-Absolutely, yeah.

The Philosophers Song, Aristotle...

Who was the one who drank a lot?

-That's the one... Don't say the words out loud.

-Oh.

And...

-John Nash.

-Socrates.

-Socrates, Aristotle...

-Would you say John Nash for the...?

I think John Nash won Economic... Although he's a mathematician.

-Well, I'm not sure. I don't know.

-I'd go with...

Let's go back to... Shall we go back to world leaders?

Who do you think then?

Let's go for Saddam Hussein, because I definitely know that one.

It's a shame to include him, isn't it?

I'm sorry, but he definitely was on it.

So, would it be...? World leaders...

Would it be...?

South Africa, would it be Nelson Mandela and...?

What's his name? The other guy.

Not de Klerk, not Botha.

-No, the other guy.

-They got the Nobel Prize for Peace, didn't they?

-They did.

-Ten seconds left.

So, which philosopher are we going for?

Do you want Aristotle or Socrates?

-Aristotle had a lot of bottle...

-Well...

OK. That, I'm sorry to say, is your time up.

Never lasts very long, that minute, I'm afraid.

What three answers are you going to give me?

Well, they're all a bit risky, but...

-Risky's good.

-Put your first one, then.

OK, well, Saddam Hussein for world leaders as Person of the Year.

-OK, Saddam Hussein.

-Yeah.

Aristotle or Socrates?

-Socrates.

-You can always have both.

See what we've got in the last one.

Have we got one for the last one?

Well, John Nash - but I'm not entirely sure about John Nash.

That sounds like it could be pointless though, if it's right.

-OK, we'll go for John Nash then.

-OK, which of the Aristotle and Socrates?

-Socrates.

-So, Saddam Hussein, Socrates and John Nash. OK.

Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-I think John Nash.

-Perhaps John Nash.

-John Nash goes last.

-Least likely to be pointless?

-Socrates, I think.

Socrates and then Hussein in the middle. OK.

We'll just pop those up on the board in that order,

and here they are. We've got...

Very best of luck. Three answers on the board there.

Who knows? At least one of those could be pointless.

What would you do with your spoils?

Well, if they're right, we'd probably have a family party,

share it with the rest of the family,

who are very pleased we've got on the show.

Well, very best of luck.

In the first instance, your first answer was Socrates.

In this case, we were looking for philosophers

mentioned in Bruce's Philosophers Song by Monty Python.

Let's see if it's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Socrates.

Well, it's right. If this goes all the way down to 0,

you leave here straightaway with £1,000.

Down Socrates goes, through the 30s, into the 20s.

Into the teens, will it go into single figures? Oh, not quite.

10.

APPLAUSE

-That's a great answer.

-Yes.

A lovely score in normal gameplay.

Sadly, not pointless.

So, we discard it and move on.

OK, your next answer was Saddam Hussein.

In this case, we were looking for world leaders

who have been Time Magazine Person of the Year.

It has to be right, then it has to be pointless

for you to win that £1,000 jackpot.

Let's see how many people said Saddam Hussein.

No.

-You were so confident.

-I was so confident about that.

-You were.

I was sure it was true.

I'm afraid he is not one of them.

OK, that means you only have one more shot at today's jackpot

and your third and final answer was John Nash.

This was the one you had no hesitation in putting last.

You thought it was your best shot at a pointless answer.

In this case, by the way, we were looking for winners

of the Nobel Memorial Prize in Economic Sciences.

Fingers crossed. If it's right and it's pointless, it wins you £1,000.

How many people said John Nash?

It's right.

Now then, Socrates took us down to 10, the tease.

Saddam Hussein was incorrect.

However, John Nash passes 10,

single figures, down it goes.

Still going down, still going down...

CHEERING

-It's a dream.

-Well done.

-Thank you.

We were here to meet you, that was the main thing.

APPLAUSE

Very, very well done, John and Anne.

Congratulations, John and Anne.

Terrific stuff. A victory for teachers everywhere as well.

-Very, very well done.

-About time, too.

-About time, exactly right.

-They usually fail horribly, as you well know.

-We do, we do.

Yeah, Saddam Hussein - he was given an award by Time

but not Person of the Year.

As you say, there's been all sorts of people who have.

Adolf Hitler was Person of the Year,

Ayatollah Khomeini was Person of the Year -

he was a pointless answer actually.

Stalin, Vladimir Putin...

-Even George Bush...

-No.

-..was Person of the Year.

Let's take a look at the pointless answers, though,

in the different categories.

We will start with world leaders.

Lots of other answers.

Charles de Gaulle, Deng Xiaoping - been it twice.

Jimmy Carter, Konrad Adenaur,

Lech Walesa was a pointless answer.

Well done if you said that at home. Yuri Andropov.

Richard Nixon won it twice as well, amazingly.

Let's take a look at the next one,

which is the philosophers.

Only three pointless answers here.

Very well done if you said that at home.

And let's take a look at the economists.

Daniel Kahneman has become much more famous recently.

In fact, everyone who's ever won the prize

apart from Milton Friedman, Jean Tirole, Lloyd Shapley,

Paul Krugman and Joseph Stiglitz.

Everyone else was pointless, so very well done if you got those at home,

especially if you are a teacher.

LAUGHTER

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Well, thanks once again to our winning players, John and Anne,

who go away with today's jackpot of £1,000. Very well done indeed.

APPLAUSE

Thank you.

Join us next time when we'll be putting

more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-In the meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

..and it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE