Episode 28 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong.

And a very warm welcome to Pointless, the show where

obvious answers mean nothing and obscure answers mean everything.

Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hi, I'm Tim and this is my friend Caitlin.

And we're back again from Cardiff University.

Couple number two.

Hi, I'm Joe. This is my friend Josh. We're both from Birmingham.

Couple number three.

Hi, I'm Lyndsay. This is my sister, Alison. And we're both from York.

And finally, couple number four.

Hi, I'm Colin. This is my friend Chris.

And we're from Northern Ireland.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much all of you. A warm welcome to all.

We'll find out more about you throughout the show.

So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

I'm not saying our budget's been cut,

but I have noticed he is now sitting on an upturned oil drum.

It's my Pointless friend. It's Richard.

-Hiya. Hi, everybody.

-APPLAUSE

-Good afternoon to you.

-Good afternoon to you.

Now, the last show we did - I think possibly the worst round

we've ever played in the history of Pointless.

Oh, yes.

We had Wimbledon Champions, just Wimbledon Champions,

but had to have seven letters or fewer in their surname.

We started off, essentially, with Serena Williams,

who's got eight letters in her surname.

We had Tim Henman.

-We had Judy Murray.

-LAUGHTER

And Novak Djokovic. It really was a terrific round. So hopefully...

No, we've only got one surviving pair from that show,

and that's on podium one. That's Caitlin and Tim,

who got all the way through to the head-to-head on that show.

Let's try and raise the standards a little bit today. That'd be nice.

Yeah, wouldn't that be nice?

-Although, it was funny.

-It was funny. Thanks very much.

So Corinne and James didn't win the jackpot last time,

so we add another £1,000 to that.

So today's jackpot starts off, look at this, at £5,000.

There we are. CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

Getting quite exciting now.

If everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

Now, remember this, the pair with the highest score

at the end of each round will be eliminated.

That's all you have to remember. Best of luck to all four pairs.

Our first category this afternoon is...

Can you decide in your pairs who's going first,

who's going second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

People born in 1946. Sounds OK, Richard.

Yep, we're going to show you seven clues now on each board to

people who were born in 1946,

so people who have turned 70, or would have turned 70, in 2016.

Can you give us the most obscure answer, please?

There's going to be 14 in all to have a go at home.

-Very best of luck.

-Thank you very much indeed.

OK, let's reveal our first board of clues. And here they come.

We have got...

I'm going to read those one last time.

-Caitlin, welcome back to Pointless. Head-to-head last time.

-Yes, indeed.

Head-to-head. Fell at a Welsh hurdle, I'm afraid.

But there we are.

-Now, you've just come to the end of your first year at Cardiff.

-Yes.

-And you're studying?

-Chemistry.

We didn't have any chemistry questions, did we?

-Unfortunately, not.

-I know, you came primed.

-Yes.

Remind us what you like getting up to when you're not studying hard,

which I know is much of the time.

Well, yeah. I'm a big fan of cricket.

I'm on the university ladies' cricket team.

Are you a bowler or a batter?

A batter, I'd like to think.

A batter, so where do you come in the order?

It depends on who's turned up,

who's maybe not had too many drinks the night before.

I see. I'm getting the measure of the Cardiff women's cricket team.

I see.

Now, Caitlin, how are you feeling about the board behind me?

It's not quite as forbidding as it could be.

It's not. And I think I know one or two.

But I'm going to stick with the safe one and go with the bottom answer.

And that would be Bill Clinton.

Bill Clinton, says Caitlin.

Let's see how many of our 100 people agree with Caitlin. Is it right?

It is Bill Clinton.

There we are, 35. Not a bad start to the game.

Well done, Caitlin.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, good start.

Well played, Caitlin.

Of course, may soon be -

who knows when this goes out - may soon be the First Gentleman.

-The First Gentleman?

-Yeah.

-The first First Gentleman.

-He'll be the first First Gentleman, yeah.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

Josh, a warm welcome to Pointless.

Lovely to have you here from Birmingham.

-What do you get up to in Birmingham, Josh?

-Not a lot.

LAUGHTER What keeps you busy?

Um... I like to keep active.

I do a lot of racket sports.

Hang out with friends and...

Not so much lately, but I do love to travel,

so whenever the opportunity comes...

OK. So talk us through your racket sports.

-Which ones do you like to play?

-Tennis and squash, I play mostly.

I did use to do a lot of badminton, but not so much these days.

OK. Now, Josh, what about this board of 1946 babies?

-Um...

-Yeah.

-There's three I think I know.

But I'm got have to play it safe - and I hope it's the right answer -

and go for former Manchester United player.

-George Best?

-George Best, says Josh. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 said George Best.

It's right.

35 is our only score at this point. You passed it. Oh, you join him.

There we are, two 35s in a row.

-APPLAUSE

-Good, mate. Well done.

There we are.

Yeah, European Footballer of the Year in 1968, George Best.

Joined Man United when he was 15 years old.

-Did he then?

-Mind you, these days,

kids join at sort of seven and eight.

Well, that's true. That is true. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Now, Alison, welcome to Pointless.

Good to have you here. What do you do?

I work at a sports centre that's attached to a local school

in a place called Malton. They'll be delighted

that I've mentioned it because nobody's ever heard of it.

Good stuff. When you're not doing that, what do you like to get up to?

I'm into exercising, so I've run quite a few marathons

and I've done triathlons.

And at the millennium, I did an Ironman triathlon.

-Would you ever do that again?

-No.

-No.

-No.

-So just remind us what the Ironman triathlon is.

It's a 2.4 mile swim, followed by a 112 mile bike

and then you run 26.2 miles.

So it's something to do once.

You get quite a nice T-shirt.

I would say it's something to do...never.

That's what I would say.

I did about an eighth of that.

What was your time?

-13 hours and 33 minutes.

-Wow.

If you'd asked me, I would've said,

"The 9th of April, 2001."

Um, OK. Alison, what would you like to go for on this board?

I know a couple of them for sure.

I'm going to have a go at one

cos I think the other one that I know will be too high.

So I think I'll go for a writer whose novels include

The Subtle Knife and The Amber Spyglass.

And I think it's Philip Pullman.

Philip Pullman, says Alison. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Philip Pullman.

Well, 35 is our only score at this point.

Let's see where Philip Pullman

gets you. Past 35, comfortably.

Look at that, 16. Very well done indeed.

APPLAUSE

Great answer there. 16 for Philip Pullman.

Yeah, very well played, Alison.

Yeah, they are the second and third books in His Dark Materials

trilogy, Northern Lights being the first one.

Thanks very much, Richard. Now then, Colin. Warm welcome.

-Here from Northern Ireland?

-Yes, indeed.

And what do you do, Colin?

-I own a golf shop, which I run with Chris here.

-Fantastic.

Hardly worth asking what your interests are aside

from the golf shop.

-I don't place much as you would think.

-OK.

I enjoy a bit of darts, like Richard.

Do you have a darts shop as well?

-I have a dart board in the shop.

-Yeah, OK, OK.

Now, Colin, this board is all yours.

Do you want to go through it and fill in all the blanks?

Well, I wouldn't be able to do that, but I'll try.

I think the top one is Steven Spielberg.

The actor is Sylvester Stallone.

Cher, I think, is the singer.

I don't know the journalist.

I think I'll go for Steven Spielberg.

Steven Spielberg, says Colin. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Steven Spielberg.

Not bad. 40 for Steven Spielberg.

APPLAUSE

Nice start, Colin. You chose the right one of the ones you knew.

Sylvester Stallone would've scored you 75. Cher would've scored you 49.

-Now, do you know this?

-Janet Street-Porter.

-Janet Street-Porter.

-Mm.

-Yeah.

-2 points for that.

-2! Thank you very much.

We're halfway through. Let's look at those scores.

Well, 16, Alison, the best score of that pass.

Alison and Lyndsay looking very strong at this point.

Then up to 35. Jointly, we find Caitlin and Tim

and Josh and Joe on 35. Then up to 40, where we find Colin

and Chris. Not far ahead, Chris,

but a low score from you is what we need.

You'll be first on the new board.

I hope there's something up there low for you. We'll come back down

the line now. Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put seven more clues up on the board. Here they come.

I'm going to read those all one last time.

-Chris. A warm welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

So, what kind of boss is Colin, then?

-Well, he owns the shop, but I'm the boss.

-OK. Yeah, that makes sense.

So he's more of a friend, really?

-Yes, he's...

-A tiny hesitation before the yes.

-Yeah, I'd say.

-But, yeah, go on.

-I think of him more as an employee.

He pays the bills, but whenever he's in for a couple of hours a week,

he's working for me.

He works for you, OK. Who's running the shop now, then?

Um, eh... Peter, our colleague.

Are you sure? Do you think he's just...?

-That sounded made-up as well.

-Yeah.

-"Um... Peter?"

LAUGHTER Yeah.

Now, Chris, there you are on 40, the high scorers. High scorers!

We need a low score from you here. How's this board looking to you?

This board doesn't look fantastic.

There's only one that I'm sure of.

It's the American billionaire

and star of the US version of The Apprentice.

I think it's Donald Trump.

Donald Trump, says Chris.

Well, no red line for you, you're the high scorers.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Donald Trump.

It's right.

APPLAUSE Takes your total up to

76.

Well played, Chris. Didn't do too much damage there.

Of course, what if - by the time this goes out - he's president?

-Imagine that, Donald Trump.

-Yeah, stranger things have happened.

-OK.

Yeah, could. It could indeed.

Lyndsay, a warm welcome to Pointless.

-Hello.

-Lovely to have you here. What do you do, Lyndsay?

I do lots of things to make money,

but one of the biggest things that I do is I make walking sticks.

-That's an amazing walking stick, by the way.

-Thank you.

-What's it made of?

-It's made of acrylic. It's made of Lucite.

And I make them myself.

-Lucite?

-Lucite. For trendy people who need them.

-Trendy people? That's such a good idea.

-Yeah.

So do you have a whole range of those?

-I have every colour of the rainbow.

-Every colour. Every shape?

-I pick one when I go out on a morning.

-That's nice.

-To match the outfit.

-To match your shoes.

-Yes, kind of.

-Very good.

And what are your interests when you're not crafting walking sticks?

Well, when I'm not doing this, I'm a bit of a hobby actor.

And I do bits of acting as well.

I was just in a film earlier this year.

Brilliant. How was that? Was that fun?

-It was hilarious. It was hard work, but it was really good fun.

-I bet.

Now, Lyndsay, low score from Alison in the first pass there,

which means 59 or less is your target.

OK. I know a few.

I know the ladies, interestingly enough.

But I think the one that I will go for is...

..Liza Minnelli, her mum was Judy Garland.

Liza Minnelli, says Lyndsay. Here is your red line.

If you get below that with Liza Minnelli,

you're through to Round Two.

Well done, it's good enough, Liza Minnelli.

Down it goes. Still down... 31.

APPLAUSE

Very nice indeed. 47 is your total.

Well played, Lyndsay.

Yes, daughter of Vincente Minelli and Judy Garland.

There we are. Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Now, Joe.

-Hi.

-A warm welcome.

What do you do, Joe?

I'm currently studying business at university.

How nearly finished are you?

-Into my first year now.

-Oh, just first year?

What do you do when you're not working?

What are the things at university that keep you...?

-I watch a lot of sport in my spare time.

-Yeah.

-Like, football mainly.

I also like cricket and a few American sports as well.

OK, very good. Now, you're on 35.

At this stage, Chris and Colin are the high scorers on 76.

So 40 or less gets you through.

I'm going to go with the country and western star

who performed on the Pyramid Stage at Glastonbury.

I think it's Dolly Parton.

Dolly Parton, says Joe. Here's your red line.

Get below that with Dolly Parton, through you go to Round Two.

Let's see how many of our 100 said Dolly Parton.

Oh, 60.

95 is your total.

That's a...that's a high score there.

Yeah, big scorer. She performed on that Sunday afternoon slot.

She got a bigger crowd than the headliners.

She got a bigger crowd than Metallica,

-Dolly Parton.

-See, that's nice.

-Not bad at 70, is it?

-Not bad, not bad at all.

Mind you, if you add Metallica together, they are over 200, so...

LAUGHTER Thanks very much indeed.

-Now, Tim.

-Hello.

-Welcome back. Also studying at Cardiff.

-Yep.

-Also studying chemistry.

-Also studying chemistry.

Now, Tim, what do you think you'll end up doing when you leave Cardiff?

I'm not sure. I do a bit of events work, things like that.

-Not certain if...

-By events work,

is that you saying, "Red or white, madam?"

"Red or white, madam?" Or is it actually...?

-More the organizational side of it.

-I see.

-OK, so more...

-Behind-the-scenes.

-Good stuff.

-Tim, now, look, here you are on 35.

-Yeah.

If you can score 59 or less,

you are with us for another round, at least.

Do you want to talk us through that board, Tim?

I wish I could.

I'm just going to have to make a guess at this

because I've honestly not got a clue.

I'm going to say...Arthur James

-on the second to last one.

-Arthur James.

You think it was her who did it?

-Yeah.

-Arthur James, the writer of Adrian Mole.

OK, well, let's find out. Here's your red line.

You'd have to get below that.

OK, let's see how many of our 100 people said Arthur James.

Oh, I'm afraid... I'm afraid it wasn't Arthur James.

That scores you 100 points,

takes your total up to 135.

-Yeah, not Arthur James, I'm afraid. It was?

-Sue Townsend.

The wonderful Sue Townsend.

41 points for that.

41 points as well for the second one.

-Joanna Lumley.

-Of course it's Joanna Lumley.

I can't believe she's 70.

-No!

-41 points. The former conservative MP?

-Edwina Currie.

Edwina Currie. Would have scored you 43 points.

-The best answer on the board - the author.

-Julian Barnes.

Julian Barnes, of course it is.

It would have scored you 3 points.

Well done if you said that at home.

There we are. Thank you, Richard.

At the end of our first round, the pair we are saying goodbye to,

they were head-to-headers last time.

This time, I'm afraid, it's Round One. I'm sorry.

Far too soon to be sending you home, but thank you for being on the show.

Great to have you here. Tim and Caitlin.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

Well, welcome to Round Two, everyone. Well done.

You've seen off the only returning pair. Look at that.

And well done, Alison, our lowest individual score in that round.

-Thank you.

-Very good indeed. Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two this afternoon...

It's a Words round.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going first,

who's going second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name...

Words ending in U-C-T. Richard.

Yeah, any word in the English language,

according to oxforddictionaries.com, that ends U-C-T.

As always, no hyphenated words and no proper nouns. Very best of luck.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Oh, I'm thinking of a word for you, Xander.

I've got to think of a word now. Oh, you've got to think of one as well.

-Well, I'll think of...

-You'll think of one for me?

-Yeah.

OK. Here we go. Right.

-OK, Josh, always tough going first on one of these rounds.

-It is.

So many small words I can think of,

but nothing coming to mind at the moment.

Sorry, Joe, I'm just going to have to go for something fairly simple.

Go for conduct.

Conduct. Conduct, says Josh. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said conduct.

APPLAUSE

37 for conduct.

Yeah, to organise and carry out, or the way in which someone behaves.

-Conduct.

-Thank you.

-Or to conduct an orchestra.

-Exactly. Or a bus.

-Or to conduct a bus, you're quite right.

Or something to do with electricity.

-There we are. Thank you very much indeed.

-Pleasure.

-Thank you.

-Now, Lyndsay.

-I can think of a few.

-But the one I'm going to go with is construct.

-Construct, says Lyndsay.

Construct, let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

19 for construct.

There we are. Well done.

To build or make something.

Or CONstruct, which is something that has been built or made.

Thank you very much. Now, Colin.

What would you like to go for?

Not a huge number of answers coming into my head,

but the only one that is half decent that I can think of is viaduct.

Viaduct, says Colin.

OK, let's see how many of our 100 people went with viaduct.

46 for viaduct.

Big score there for viaduct.

That's a big scorer, isn't it?

It's a long bridge, essentially, with a series of arches. A viaduct.

Well, we're halfway through the round. Let's look at the scores.

19, well done, Lyndsay,

best score of the round so far,

putting Lyndsay and Alison

at the front of the queue.

Then we go up to 37, where we find Josh and Joe.

Then 46, Colin and Chris. So, Chris, you're not far ahead,

but we need a low score from you again.

We'll come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, Chris, we are

looking for words ending in the letters UCT.

OK.

Um, I'm going to do something a little bit sneaky

and build on Lyndsay's answer with deconstruct.

I like that, Chris.

You see, if I had a golf shop, Colin, that is precisely

the sort of person I would want to leave in charge of it.

-Absolutely.

-Him all the time, not Peter.

Not Peter holding the fort, but Chris.

Deconstruct. No red line for you, Chris, you're the high scorers.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said deconstruct.

-AUDIENCE:

-Oooh...

OK, 7. Very well done

indeed, Chris. That's exactly what we needed from you.

Takes your total up to 53. I think that will keep you in the game.

-That's clever, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-Very well done.

To reduce something to its constituent parts.

-Thank you very much.

-You still thinking?

-Yeah, I'm still thinking.

You've already got mine? You've worked it out?

I've predicted what you'll say, yeah.

-Oh, God. I've got to be as good as your prediction then.

-Or as bad.

Depending on whether I think you're any good or not.

-LAUGHTER

-I think you know the answer to that.

I think I do. I think I do. Alison, what would you like to go for?

You have to score 33 or less.

Yeah. Gone slightly brain-dead on this one.

This is either going to be really high

cos loads of people have thought of it, or not.

I'm going to go for product.

-Product.

-Yeah.

-OK, product, says Alison.

Now, a nice low score from Lyndsay in the first pass.

Let's hope that's low enough to keep you in the game with product.

There's your red line.

-Oh!

-43 for product.

Sorry!

Takes your total up to 62.

Yeah, it's a big scorer, I'm afraid. Yeah, product.

You could use that in a sentence such as...

A Lucite walking stick is a very good product.

-There we are. OK. Now then, Joe.

-Yeah.

Joe, what would you like to go for?

You have to score 24 or less.

I'm going to follow on for the last answer as well

and go for by-product.

-AUDIENCE:

-Oooh.

-You see?

You see? By-product, says Joe. Here comes your red line.

If you can get below this red line with by-product,

you are through to the next round.

I'm slightly crossing my fingers here. Let's see, though.

Is it right? How many of our 100 people said by-product?

Oh, I just suddenly thought of that.

I fear it has a hyphen.

That scores you 100 points. I'm so sorry, Joe.

That takes your total up to 137.

It does have a hyphen, I'm afraid. Yeah, unlucky.

Now, do you have an answer?

Um...

Do you think there's a word eluct?

-Eluct?

-Yeah.

-E-L-U-C-T?

-That is eluctable.

If something is eluctable, then surely...

-Are you asking me or telling me?

-I'm telling you.

-100 points.

-Oh, there you go!

The good news is, I did not guess that.

No? There you go!

I thought you might go for reconstruct -

you like putting letters on the beginning of things.

-This is true.

-Would've scored you 8 points.

-Thank you.

-Reconstruct.

-But you didn't say it.

-I know.

-You said eluct.

Well, I know. I was just trying to be clever, that's all.

-Serves me right.

-How is that working out for you?

Yeah, not that...not that well.

Let's look at the pointless answers. There's not many.

There's only five pointless answers here.

Agriproduct, you would've been brave to go for that.

Misconstruct would've been a very good answer.

Photoproduct.

-Usufruct.

-ALEXANDER LAUGHS

-Xander.

-Bless you.

-It's not the first time I've said that you.

-And ventiduct.

-Obviously(!)

Let's take a look at the top three answers,

the ones that most of our 100 people said.

Product, the third highest of all - 43.

Viaduct. And duct, unsurprisingly, 80.

Aqueduct, which I suspect would've popped into lots of people's minds,

-was 27.

-Thanks very much. OK, there we are.

At the end of our second round, the pair we're saying goodbye to

is Joe and Josh.

137. Good...

I liked what you did there with by-product.

I liked it, and then suddenly thought,

"Oh! No, I have a hunch that might..."

But, I mean... Hyphens, I'm afraid.

Yeah, we don't allow them. I'm sorry.

Anyway, that all bodes very well for next time, I'm sure

you'll do even better. But meanwhile, thanks very much.

Joe and Josh.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

Very well done, Lyndsay and Alison, Colin and Chris.

You're now one step closer to the final and a chance to

play for the jackpot, which currently stands at £5,000.

-Well... AUDIENCE:

-Oooh!

Well, you know the story.

You can start playing as teams.

You can chat before you give your answers.

First pair to win two questions will be going through to the final.

Well, very well done indeed.

A strong performance throughout the show.

So we have work colleagues versus sisters.

Who knows what's going to happen here? Best of luck to both pairs.

Let's play the head-to-head.

Here comes your first question, and it concerns...

Elton John Songs, Richard.

You'll see five visual clues now to titles of Elton John

UK top 40 singles.

-Can you name the songs, please?

-Fantastic.

These are my favourite rounds. Visual clues to Elton John songs.

Let's reveal them. Here they come.

OK, there we are. Five visual clues to Elton John songs.

Lyndsay and Alison, you're our low scorers, so you will go first.

-WHISPERING:

-I know three of them.

-Which ones are you...?

I know the first one, the second one and then the last one.

-Yeah, the third one is either...

-It could be...

-Do you want to say it?

-Yeah.

We know three of them. The other two we're not quite so sure about.

But we're going to kind of play it safe

and go with Crocodile Rock for B.

Crocodile Rock for B, say Lyndsay and Alison.

Now, Colin and Chris, do you want to talk us through that board?

Eh...

I'll talk you through what I can.

A, I think, is Candle In The Wind.

C, I have absolutely no idea.

D, I think is

Don't Go Breaking My Heart.

And E...

Again, we have no idea.

So I think we're going to go for D.

Don't Go Breaking My Heart.

Don't Go Breaking My Heart, say Colin and Chris.

So Crocodile Rock, Don't Go Breaking My Heart.

Now, Lyndsay and Alison went for Crocodile Rock.

Let's see if that's right for B. Let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

APPLAUSE

48 for Crocodile Rock.

Colin and Chris meanwhile have gone for Don't Go Breaking My Heart

for D. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said Don't Go Breaking My Heart.

It's right.

And it wins you the point, well done.

Very good, 28.

Which means, after one question, Colin and Chris, you're up 1-0.

It has a pleasing simplicity, that clue for Crocodile Rock, doesn't it?

-Hm.

-I love that one.

A, you're right, is Candle In The Wind.

Biggest scorer, unsurprisingly.

78 points.

In the '80s, he had a top-ten hit with...

Yeah, it was called something about the passengers who want to

get off. What was it called?

-Passengers.

-Oh, right, OK.

-Just called Passengers.

-There we go.

Would've scored you 4 points.

-And E?

-Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.

-Goodbye Yellow Brick Road,

course it is, and would've scored 16 points.

OK. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

OK, well, here comes your second question.

Colin and Chris get to answer it first,

but Lyndsay and Alison have to win it to stay in the game.

So best of luck. It concerns...

Types Of Energy, Richard.

I'm going to show you the names now of five types of energy in physics,

but we've missed out alternate letters. Can you fill in the gaps?

Thanks very much. Let's reveal our types of energy.

And here they are with missing bits.

I'll read those all one last time.

Colin and Chris will go first.

-Go for any of them.

-Electrical.

-Heat, light...

-Yeah.

-Electrical.

-Yeah.

Um, we're going to go for the second one down.

Electrical?

Electrical, say Colin and Chris.

Now, Lyndsay and Alison, do you want to talk us through the board?

-Yeah, possibly.

-We might be able to, actually. Surprisingly.

We think the bottom one is chemical.

-The next one up is light.

-Light.

The third one is heat.

But we think the top one is elastic potential.

Elastic potential, that's the one you'd like to go for?

-BOTH:

-Yeah.

-OK, elastic potential. So we have electrical.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for electrical,

for Colin and Chris.

It's right.

APPLAUSE

Meanwhile, Lyndsay and Alison have gone for elastic potential.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's right.

-AUDIENCE:

-Oooh...

Very well done indeed.

Back in the game. Look at that.

Which means, after two questions, it's 1-1.

Yeah, very good answer. Well played.

It's the best answer on the board, elastic potential.

That's the potential energy in something that has been stretched,

-like a stretched spring, something like that.

-Hm.

Heat...

is the third one down, of course.

It actually only scores 45 points. Light...

..scores 62. And chemical, at the bottom there,

is the next best answer

on the board. Would've scored 16.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. So here comes your third question.

Whoever wins this goes through to the final and plays

for that jackpot. So best of luck to both pairs. It concerns...

LYNDSAY AND ALISON CHUCKLE Johnny Depp, Richard.

Simply five clues now to facts about the actor Johnny Depp.

Whichever team gives us the most obscure answer is going

through to play for that £5,000 jackpot.

Very best of luck.

OK, let's reveal our five Johnny Depp clues. Here they come.

I'll read those all one last time.

Now, Lyndsay and Alison, you'll go first.

ALISON WHISPERS

It would be an understatement to say that we are Johnny Depp fans.

-Yeah.

-Quite like the man.

-Quite like him.

-I see.

-Know a little bit about him.

-Except where he was born.

-Don't know where he was born, no.

-Which one do you want to go for?

-I think we should go for the last one.

Yeah? The author.

Weepy film, gorgeous film, Finding Neverland,

he played JM Barrie.

JM Barrie, say Lyndsay and Alison. JM Barrie.

-Now then, Colin and Chris, talk us through that board.

-Eh...

I think that's probably going to be the best answer,

that the ladies have given.

The character he plays in Alice In Wonderland, I think,

is the Mad Hatter.

The horror film in which he made his acting debut is

A Nightmare On Elm Street.

I don't know the state he was born in.

And I think he played Willy Wonka.

We would go for A Nightmare On Elm Street.

A Nightmare On Elm Street.

So, Colin and Chris.

So we have JM Barrie and A Nightmare On Elm Street.

Lyndsay and Alison said JM Barrie for Finding Neverland,

let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's right. THEY WHISPER

-AUDIENCE:

-Oooh...

APPLAUSE

34 for JM Barrie. Now, Colin and Chris, meanwhile,

have gone for A Nightmare On Elm Street,

the horror film in which he made his debut.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

And it wins you the point, look at that.

15 for A Nightmare On Elm Street.

Very well done indeed, Colin and Chris.

That means, after three questions, you are through to the final 2-1.

Very, very well played, both teams there.

The character was the Mad Hatter.

He would've scored 59.

The other character, the Roald Dahl character,

was Willy Wonka, of course.

49 points for that.

The best answer on the board is the US state he was born in.

Tough one, though. You either know it or you don't. It's Kentucky.

Would've scored you 6 points.

Thanks very much indeed.

So the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

I'm afraid, Lyndsay and Alison, our low scorers right up to this point.

And I knew it would be close, and it was.

Nothing wrong with your answers in this round.

But it's great news for us - we get to see you again next time.

I'm sure you'll do just as well if not better then.

In the meantime, thanks very much. Lyndsay and Alison.

-APPLAUSE

-Thank you. Good luck, guys.

But for Colin and Chris, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Very well done, Colin and Chris. Look at that.

You've seen off all the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

Fantastic. You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £5,000.

There it is. APPLAUSE

Well, I think we've given you a nice tour of pointless knowledge.

We had people born in 1946, we had words ending U-C-T,

we had Elton John songs, we had types of energy

and then we had Johnny Depp.

I mean, I think we have covered all the bases there,

I think is what I'm saying.

Anything else you would like us

to ask you that we haven't yet tested you on?

-Something sporty wouldn't go amiss.

-Oh, here we go - golf.

-Don't tell me.

-It wouldn't do any harm.

-Tennis maybe?

-Golf equipment.

-Professional wrestling.

Professional wrestling? Chris, you kept very quiet

-about your wrestling interests until now.

-Oh, I love... I love it.

You watch it, you've never been tempted

to pull on the leotard yourself?

-I've never pulled a leotard on myself.

-OK.

-I could be tempted

-for the right money.

-LAUGHTER

I don't think it was an offer from Xander...

LAUGHTER

Well, listen, shortly, four choices are going to appear on that

board there, let's hope there's something you like the look of.

Today's selection looks like this.

Kind of dream come true, isn't it(?)

LAUGHTER

Not... For me, the only one I know anything about is ice skating.

Might throw up something.

Um, it... Listen, it's entirely up to you.

If you think you may know something about ice skating, go for it.

-We'll go for ice skating.

-You're going to go for ice skating.

Colin and Chris say ice skating.

OK, best of luck. Three very different questions here.

We are looking for any winner of the eight series

of the ITV show Dancing On Ice -

anyone who won that show,

professionals or celebrities.

Any cast member of the film Blades Of Glory, according to IMDb.

It's a brilliant film.

Or any Team GB figure skating medallist at any modern

Olympics, please. So anyone who's won gold,

silver or bronze in figure skating for Team GB in any modern Olympics.

Very best of luck.

Thank you very much indeed. OK, now, as always,

you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that jackpot - let's just remind yourselves,

£5,000 - is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

Are you ready?

-Yep.

-Yes.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock. There they are.

Your time starts now.

It's going to be nearly all from the cast of Blades Of Glory.

I don't know that many from Blades Of Glory.

I know, obviously, Will Ferrell was in it, and Jon Heder.

I'm trying to rack my brain

to think of some more.

Skating medallists are only very famous, well-known ones.

Throw out some Dancing On Ice winners

and I'll try to think here.

I'm trying to think of Dancing On Ice winners.

There's a guy from Liverpool, he was a singer previously,

but I can't remember his name.

Um...

Eh...

Figure skating, I can't think of anything.

-Just keep talking...

-Yeah, I'm just going to try to think of that guy.

Dancing On Ice.

I'm trying to think of Blades Of Glory,

if I can throw somebody out.

Yeah, there's a guy from Coronation Street as well.

Struggling to remember his name as well.

Ten seconds left.

Anyone else from Blades Of Glory?

I've just drawn a complete blank.

I'm afraid that's your time up.

I'm so sorry. Let's have your three answers.

Who are you going for?

-Jayne Torvill for the GB figure skating.

-OK, Jayne Torvill.

And for the cast of Blades Of Glory,

-we will go for Jon Heder.

-Jon Heder.

And...

Jenny Grey.

Jenny Grey.

OK. Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Do you want Heder?

-Probably Jon Heder.

John Heder goes last. Least likely to be pointless?

-Probably that woman's name that I've forgotten.

-Jenny Grey.

-Yeah, that one. Yeah.

-Is she a Chris construct from Round One?

-She is a concoction.

-OK, lovely.

OK, well, let's pop those up on the board in that order then.

And here they are. We have got...

Well, best of luck.

Who knows? One of those answers might be pointless

and might win you that jackpot of £5,000.

Now, that's a decent jackpot to be taking home.

What would you do with that? Colin, to you first.

I would probably...keep it to save.

I have a couple of young children, so maybe save it up for a nice

holiday in a couple years' time when they're a bit older.

Very nice. Very nice indeed. Chris, how about you?

Well, my wife, Laura, and I have just had a little baby boy...

-Congratulations!

-..called Sam.

So we will probably whisk Sam off to Disneyland

as soon as he's old enough.

Very nice. OK, good. Well, best of luck, Colin and Chris.

Three answers up there on the board,

let's hope one of those is pointless.

Your first answer was one you actually made up,

Jenny Grey. But sometimes... What do I mean sometimes?

One of these days, a made-up answer is going to be right

and it's going to be pointless.

Maybe today is that day. Jenny Grey.

We were looking for cast members of Blades Of Glory.

It has to be right, obviously. Then it has to be pointless.

If it's both, you'll win £5,000. How many people said Jenny Grey?

No! Bad luck, I'm afraid, no Jenny Grey in Blades Of Glory.

Unfortunately, not a pointless answer,

which means two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your next answer was Jayne Torvill.

In this case, we were looking for Team GB figure skating medallists.

Let's find out if it's right, then let's find out if it's pointless.

For £5,000, how many people said Jayne Torvill?

It's right.

Now, if Jayne Torvill takes us all the way down to zero,

you will leave with £5,000.

Jenny Grey, your first answer, was incorrect.

Jayne Torvill stops at 31.

Some...

Some way shy of the pointless mark, which means you only have

one more shot at today's jackpot.

Everything is now riding on your third and final answer - Jon Heder.

In this case, once again,

we were looking for cast members of Blades Of Glory.

If Jon Heder is pointless, it will win you £5,000.

Let's see how many people said Jon Heder.

Well, it's right. Jenny Grey, your first answer, was incorrect.

Your second answer, Jayne Torvill, stopped at 31.

Jon Heder now takes us down

into single figures. Down it goes.

Still going down...

-Still going... AUDIENCE:

-Oh!

APPLAUSE

Not bad! 3 is a good score.

So, yes, you haven't gone out in a blaze of glory,

you've gone out on Blades Of Glory.

But I'm afraid, you didn't manage to find that all-important

pointless score, so you don't win today's jackpot of £5,000.

That will roll over onto the next show.

But you have been very, very good on the show all the way through.

It's been fun having you in the studio.

Thank you for playing. Colin and Chris.

And you got a Pointless trophy to take home as well.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, well played, gents.

Quite a tough jackpot question, I would say, on ice skating.

Let's take a look at the pointless answers. Dancing On Ice winners...

Gaynor Faye, the actress, was a pointless answer.

Maria Filippov, who danced with Ray Quinn,

who was the Liverpudlian you were thinking of.

He was actually the biggest scorer, Ray Quinn.

Melanie Lambert. And Sam Attwater, the former EastEnders actor.

Let's take a look now at Blades Of Glory.

Now, there's lots of famous figure skaters in this film.

Brian Boitano, who is also famous from South Park.

And Nancy Kerrigan as well was a pointless answer.

Craig T Nelson, who plays Coach. A brilliant actor, Craig T Nelson.

Dorothy Hamill. Everybody was a pointless answer in that film

apart from Will Ferrell, Jon Heder, Amy Poehler, Will Arnett,

Jenna Fischer and Scott Hamilton. Now let's take a look...

Now, this was a real tough one, goodness me.

Cos there's four famous ones - Torvill and Dean, John Curry

and Robin Cousins, and they all scored points.

Basil Williams and Phyllis Johnson won together, of course, in 1920.

You will remember that(!)

And you also could have had 1936 medallist Cecilia Colledge.

And a gold medallist, actually, from 1952 - Jeannette Altwegg.

So, very, very well done if you got any of those ones. Very impressive.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to you,

but it's been fabulous having you. Thank you so much for playing.

Colin and Chris. APPLAUSE

Well, very sadly, Colin and Chris didn't win our jackpot today,

which means it rolls over onto the next show,

when we'll be playing for £6,000.

Join us then to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.