Episode 38 Pointless


Episode 38

Quiz in which contestants try to score as few points as possible by plumbing the depths of their general knowledge to come up with the answers no-one else can think of.


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Transcript


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APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

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Thank you very much indeed.

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Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong, and welcome to Pointless,

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the show where the aim of the game is to avoid obvious answers,

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and find the obscure ones.

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Let's meet today's players.

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APPLAUSE

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Couple number one.

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My name's Steve, I'm with my friend Aled,

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and we're from Llanelli, South Wales.

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Couple number two.

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Hello, my name's Gbenga.

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This is my friend and team-mate Taiwo, and we're both from London.

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Couple number three.

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Hello, my name's Dave.

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This is my wife, Janet, and we're from Berkeley in Gloucestershire.

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And, finally, couple number four.

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Hi, I'm Graham. This is my wife, Miki, and we're both from Liverpool.

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And these are today's contestants.

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APPLAUSE

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Thanks very much, all of you. A very warm welcome. We'll find out more

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about each of you throughout the show as it goes along.

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So, that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

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He is so clever, he even knows how many roads a man must

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walk down before you can call him a real man.

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It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

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-Hiya. Hi, everybody.

-APPLAUSE

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Only one returning pair from the last show,

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Graham and Miki, welcome back.

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Got through to the head-to-head, did rather well on it as well.

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Lovely to see... We haven't had

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a great shirt on the show for a while.

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LAUGHTER

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So I'm very, very glad that Steve is with us, and I don't know what

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you call the colour, but it's a kind of almost like

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where the sea meets the sky.

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It's a kind of, it's not navy blue,

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-but it's the blue that navy people wear...

-Exactly right.

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-..on their shirts.

-I would've thought that Aled, in the dressing

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room, seeing Steve dressing up in such a garish shirt,

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might have tried something on himself, but he didn't.

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-He's just come with a very normal shirt.

-There we are.

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OK, well, thank you very much indeed, Richard.

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Now, Cormack and Lisa didn't win the jackpot last time,

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so we add another £1,000 to that jackpot.

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That was already quite a substantial jackpot,

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so today's jackpot starts off at this.

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Look at this! £4,250.

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APPLAUSE

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Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

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Well, remember this only -

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the pair with the highest score at the end of each round will be

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eliminated. There we are. The cardinal rule of Pointless.

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Best of luck to all four pairs. Our first category this afternoon is...

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Politics.

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Could you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

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who's going to go second?

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And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

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OK, and the question concerns...

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US politicians, Richard.

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On each board, we're going to show you seven clues to seven people

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who filled various positions in the US Politics.

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14 in all to have a go in at home. Very best of luck.

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Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

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OK, so we are looking for the American politicians

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described by these clues.

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Here's our first board of seven.

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And it looks like this...

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I'm going to read those all one last time.

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Oh, Aled, do you like a tea party?

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Yes, I do. I don't mind it.

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What's your favourite thing to have? You've got your cup of tea here,

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an empty plate, a whole table laden with possible tea comestibles.

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What would you go for first?

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Well, I like the fastest cake in the world.

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-Scone.

-Scone.

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-I like a lot of things. Every cake, almost, really.

-There you are.

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I think it's probably the right answer.

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Aled, warm welcome to Pointless.

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-What do you do, Aled?

-I'm a caretaker in a school, I am.

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-How long have you done that?

-About six months.

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You're very young to be a caretaker. When I was at school,

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the caretakers were all considerably older than you, Aled.

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Yeah, I just enjoy it. I just enjoy talking to the kids

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and being part of the school,

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-do you know what I mean?

-Yeah, very nice. Nice community to be part of.

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And presumably through the holidays, your job doesn't finish?

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You've got to keep taking care.

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Most of the time it's very quiet, but a lot of

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workmen work there over the summer season.

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OK, now, Aled, all these figures from US Politics.

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Is anyone there jumping out at you?

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There's one or two, but I think

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the top one, black female to be

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appointed US Secretary of State, Condoleezza Wright.

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Condoleezza Wright, says Aled. Let's see if that's right.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said Condoleezza Wright.

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I'm really sorry, Aled. Really, really sorry.

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That's incorrect.

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-I'm afraid it scores you 100 points.

-Yes, sorry, Aled.

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I'll give all the correct answers at the end of the pass.

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Thanks very much. Now, Taiwo, welcome to Pointless.

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-Great to have you here, from London?

-Yeah.

-What do you do, Taiwo?

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I'm a mechanical engineer, specialising in data centres.

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-In data centres?

-Yeah, so keeping data centres cool,

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we work on mostly commissioning them,

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-making sure they run as they should.

-I see.

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And what are your interests outside the engineering life?

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All things sport, generally.

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Do love to play and watch sports as well.

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Also helping out with things at church.

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And also just playing with family and friends as well.

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Very good indeed.

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Now, Taiwo, what would you like to go for on this board?

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I think I know, probably, four of

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them, so I think I'm going to go

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with the least likely and say the top one, Condoleezza Rice.

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Condoleezza Rice. Aled, I'm sorry. We couldn't allow that.

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I'm so sorry. Condoleezza Rice, says Taiwo.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said Condoleezza Rice.

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It's right.

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44.

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44, good answer.

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Yes, Condoleezza Rice, Taiwo, very well played.

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Aled, if you're going to mispronounce one of the words

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of her name, I would have thought it would be Condoleezza.

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You got that perfectly. Really, really tough luck.

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Thanks very much indeed. David, a very warm welcome.

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Here from, you said, Berkeley in Gloucestershire.

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That's correct, Alexander, yeah.

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And what keeps you busy in Berkeley, David?

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I'm not there much of the time. We are usually in Spain.

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Oh, that's nice!

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We share our time between Spain and Berkeley,

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but we are in Berkeley for three months now.

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I like to do DIY.

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Unfortunately, my wife, Janet, doesn't like me doing DIY.

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We had friends visiting and the lady slipped in the bath,

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in the shower, so I thought when they come down again,

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I'll have a shower instead of a bath. So I just ripped the bath out,

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and then told Janet I ripped the bath out.

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-Ah.

-And then I had to put a shower in, didn't I?

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LAUGHTER

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I bet you had to put a bath back in by the sounds of things.

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It took me ages to do it as well.

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THEY LAUGH

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David, now what would you like to go for on this board?

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I think I'll go for the, he was nicknamed The Governator,

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whilst serving as governor of California.

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That's Arnold Schwarzenegger.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger. Let's see if that's right.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said Arnie.

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It is right.

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Well, you've beat our high score of 100.

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65 is where you end up

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with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

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Yeah, pretty big score.

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We got all sorts of people who watch Pointless out in Spain.

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A lot of the expats. We quite often get tweets from people.

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They sort of just tweet they're watching the show.

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They've got this lovely cold beer. They're next to a swimming pool.

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-That's it.

-Aw, how nice. There we are.

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Now, Graham. Welcome back.

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-You were in the head-to-head last time, Graham.

-Yes.

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You did very, very well indeed. Nearly through to the final.

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-The Edinburgh Fringe caught us out.

-The Edinburgh Fringe, yeah.

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Graham, remind us what you do.

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I'm a manufacturing consultant, so helping companies to run better,

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-be more economical.

-And you travel all over the world?

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Yes, I have done.

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Lately I've been in the UK, the last year or so, but before that

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I've been in most countries in Europe,

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Japan, South America, so...

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-Do you have a favourite country you've travelled to?

-Yes, Argentina.

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I love Argentina, and I can't really explain why.

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It's just a fantastic place. Buenos Aires was fantastic.

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Well, it's quite a long journey to get there, isn't it?

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-It's a long journey...

-But once you're there...

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..but it is a fantastic city, Buenos Aires,

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-and Argentina in general.

-I've never been. Never been.

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Now, Graham, you are the last person to have this board.

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If you wanted to go through the five blank options

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and fill in the blanks for us, that would be brilliant.

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I would love to go through all of them.

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There's one there and I know it, but I don't, if you know what

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I mean, which is the host of the controversial daytime TV show.

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But I'm going to have to go with the easier option,

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which is the former actor

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and that would be Ronald Reagan.

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Ronald Reagan, says Graham.

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OK, let's see how many of our 100 people said Ronald Reagan.

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It's right.

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73.

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73.

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They're all pretty big scores

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in that pass. 73 for Ronald Reagan.

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Yeah, Ronald Reagan is the only president

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ever to have had a divorce.

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Ever to have had a divorce.

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Yeah. Interesting, isn't it?

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Let's take a look at the rest of these.

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Now, the talk-show host you are thinking of is Jerry Springer.

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Jerry Springer was mayor of Cincinnati.

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That would have scored you 21 points.

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The US Senator of Wisconsin.

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-I was just going to say Senator McCarthy.

-Yeah, Joe McCarthy.

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-Joe McCarthy.

-That would have scored you 17.

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The senator from Arizona was John McCain.

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Would have scored you 7.

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-And the one at the bottom?

-Sarah Palin.

-Sarah Palin, of course.

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And she would have scored 28. So John McCain,

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with 7 points, the best answer on that board.

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There we are, thank you, Richard.

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Well, we're halfway through the round.

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Let's take a look at those scores.

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Taiwo, very well done indeed.

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44 is your score, the lowest score of the pass.

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Looking very strong over there.

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Then up to 65, David and Janet.

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73, Graham and Miki

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and then Aled and Steve.

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Do you know, it's been quite a high-scoring round, so the good

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news, Steve, is you're not way out ahead, which is quite good.

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We're going to come back down the line now.

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Can the second players please step up to the podium?

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OK, we're going to put seven more clues up on the board,

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and here they come.

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We've got...

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I will go through those all one last time.

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-Miki, welcome back.

-Hello.

-Great to have you here again.

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Remind us what you do, Miki.

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I'm a staff nurse in a busy hospital.

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-A staff nurse in a busy hospital in Liverpool.

-In Liverpool.

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Ooh, and when you're not doing that you bake the most fantastic cakes.

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I say this with some authority, having tried Miki...

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-Did you get any cakes from Miki?

-I have the cakes.

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I have yet to eat them. Are they nice? They look lovely.

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-I only meant to eat one. Ate two.

-Did you?

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And they were substantial. Really good.

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-I'll look forward to that.

-And so you should. Now, Miki.

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-Yes.

-You are looking pretty good there on 73.

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100 is the high score.

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So 26 or less would ensure you a place in the next round.

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How do you feel about US politics in general?

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I mean, not the state of them, just...

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Um, yeah, I think I know a few,

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but I think I'm going to go with the top one.

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Former Democrat vice president is Al Gore.

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Al Gore, says Miki. Al Gore.

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Here is your red line.

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If you can get below that with Al Gore,

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you're through to the next round.

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Let's see how many people said Al Gore.

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It's right.

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Not bad at all.

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34. I think you've done enough.

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107 is your total.

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Well played, Miki. His roommate at university was Tommy Lee Jones.

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So he was. And they've sort of kept in touch,

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they're friends still, aren't they?

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I guess, as you would, with your roommate.

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Of course you would. It's quite cool. If you were vice president

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of the United States, I would keep in touch with you.

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As it is, we don't keep in touch.

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No, we don't. I know we've drifted apart, haven't we?

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-We really have, since university.

-I haven't seen you 25 years

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-or something.

-I know, weird, I wonder what you're up to.

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LAUGHTER Yeah. LAUGHS: So do I, honestly.

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-Janet, welcome to the show.

-Hello.

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Lovely to have you here. What do you do, Janet?

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I do like playing our bowls.

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We play bowls in Spain and in England.

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-Do you play it indoors in England?

-No, no, it's outside.

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We've got quite a few trophies in the cupboard.

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-Oh, you take your bowls very seriously?

-Oh, yes.

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-Proper competitive bowls.

-In Spain do they call the jack a jose?

-No.

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-THEY LAUGH

-No!

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No!

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Now, Janet, you're on 65.

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The high-scorers are now behind you, Miki and Graham.

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If you can score 41 or less, you're into the next round.

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I should know the third one down, but I can't remember her name.

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But I'm going to go, push the boat out,

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and say it's Sonny Bono had a hit single with Cher.

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Sonny Bono, says Janet. Here is your red line.

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If you can get below that with Sonny Bono, you're into Round Two.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said Sonny Bono.

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It's right.

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Not bad, 53.

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APPLAUSE

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I still think that's enough.

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Takes your total up to 118.

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Well done, Janet.

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You get all sorts of showbizzy people in politics in the States.

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You get less of it here. We have a few, don't we?

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Gyles Brandreth and Robert Kilroy-Silk.

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There we are.

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Now, Gbenga, welcome to Pointless, great to have you here,

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and what do you do?

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I'm a case analyst at the UK financial regulator.

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-That's quite fun, isn't it? So people apply...

-No.

-Oh, really?

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LAUGHTER

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Well, I don't know. Isn't that quite fun?

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Controversial cases get sort of sent to you and you have to, "Hm..."

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-Yeah, that's probably the height of excitement in that role.

-OK.

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Well, it sounds quite fun. What do you do

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to forget about case regulating?

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I'm very similar to Taiwo.

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I enjoy my sports, so playing and watching.

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What sports do you play?

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I'm a big football fan, so football, primarily.

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But anything, really.

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Anything. Gbenga, what would you like to go for on this board?

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So, it's quite a decent board

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for me, I think.

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But I think Taiwo will forgive me

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if I take a bit of a punt.

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I think I know the wrestler.

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I'm going to go for Jesse Ventura.

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Jesse Ventura. Ooh, we're getting nods from Aled and Steve, there.

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Was that the one you were going to say, Steve?

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-Yeah, that was going to be my gamble.

-Your piece de resistance.

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Well, Jesse Ventura. We don't know if it's right yet.

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We'll have to find out about that first. There's your red line.

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If you can get below that with Jesse Ventura,

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you're through to the next round. How many of our 100 people said it?

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It's right. There you are. Well done.

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7.

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Takes your total up

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to 51, the lowest total of the round.

0:16:560:16:59

Well done on podium two.

0:16:590:17:00

Great answer, Gbenga, yes.

0:17:000:17:01

Very well played. I mean, tough on Steve.

0:17:010:17:04

That whole podium two has been very tough on podium one.

0:17:040:17:07

Firstly, Taiwo took Aled's Condoleezza Rice

0:17:070:17:09

and now this Jesse Ventura.

0:17:090:17:11

No, that's tough. The Body. What's your wrestling name?

0:17:110:17:15

I am the Chiswick Flyover.

0:17:150:17:16

LAUGHTER

0:17:160:17:20

Very good.

0:17:200:17:21

Steve...

0:17:220:17:23

THEY LAUGH

0:17:230:17:27

..welcome to Pointless. Great to have you here.

0:17:270:17:29

What do you do, Steve?

0:17:290:17:30

I'm an IT technical analyst.

0:17:300:17:33

Right you are. And what do you do for fun?

0:17:330:17:35

-What do you do when you're not... Maybe you do IT for fun?

-I do, yeah.

0:17:350:17:38

-That's what I like doing.

-Satisfying.

0:17:380:17:41

But, um, mostly spend time with my family.

0:17:410:17:43

Cos it's a long working week,

0:17:430:17:45

-I don't really get to see them as much, so...

-Yeah.

0:17:450:17:47

-Spend time with them as much as I can, really.

-That's nice.

0:17:470:17:49

Who have you got in your family?

0:17:490:17:51

I've got my wife-to-be, getting married in September.

0:17:510:17:53

Congratulations.

0:17:530:17:55

-And I've got my little daughter, she's two, so...

-Lovely.

0:17:550:17:58

-What's her name?

-Lacey.

-Lacey, hello. Now, Steve.

0:17:580:18:02

So tempting to have a second child and call it Cagney, though.

0:18:020:18:05

LAUGHTER

0:18:050:18:08

-Or call it something else...

-No, no more.

0:18:080:18:10

The nickname can be Cagney, anyway.

0:18:100:18:12

Now, do you want to talk us through this board, Steve?

0:18:120:18:14

Well, I only knew two. I say I knew two.

0:18:140:18:17

Jesse Ventura was what I was going to go for,

0:18:170:18:19

and I think the easy one on the board's

0:18:190:18:21

probably going to score most points, so that's the problem,

0:18:210:18:24

is the father of his country, George Washington.

0:18:240:18:28

-George Washington, that's the one you're going to go for?

-Yes.

0:18:280:18:30

Well, here is your red line.

0:18:300:18:32

You have to score 17 or less

0:18:320:18:34

if you can, with George Washington.

0:18:340:18:36

-Score some points...

-You're into the next round.

0:18:360:18:39

Let's see how many of our 100 people said George Washington.

0:18:390:18:43

It's right.

0:18:440:18:45

Oh, no, Steve!

0:18:490:18:52

APPLAUSE

0:18:520:18:53

I'm so sorry. 21.

0:18:530:18:55

Has scored agonisingly close.

0:18:550:18:57

I can't believe that! I can't believe 21...

0:18:570:19:00

So close. 121 is your total.

0:19:000:19:04

Can I tell you something nice about Steve and Aled, there?

0:19:040:19:06

Now, when Gbenga said Jesse Ventura, both of them just nodded in approval

0:19:060:19:10

instead of going, sometimes people go, "Tut, aw, tut, aw,"

0:19:100:19:14

when people knick their answers.

0:19:140:19:16

-So, hats off to you for your gracious response.

-Absolutely right.

0:19:160:19:19

You've been very unfortunate as well.

0:19:190:19:21

So we look forward to you coming back on the next show.

0:19:210:19:23

Let's fill in the rest of these now, shall we?

0:19:230:19:25

The lawyer and businessman was...

0:19:250:19:28

-Oh, Giuliani.

-Rudy Giuliani. Yeah.

0:19:280:19:31

-Would have scored you 9. The former first lady...

-Hillary Clinton.

0:19:310:19:34

Hillary Clinton.

0:19:340:19:35

She would have scored 69 points. And the Delaware senator...

0:19:350:19:38

-Joe Biden.

-And he would have scored you 21.

0:19:380:19:41

So the best answer on the board,

0:19:410:19:42

Gbenga, is Jesse Ventura.

0:19:420:19:43

Very well done.

0:19:430:19:45

Thanks very much indeed.

0:19:450:19:46

So at the end of our first round, the pair who are heading home

0:19:460:19:49

with a high score of 121, I am sorry, Steve and Aled,

0:19:490:19:52

sometimes people are robbed by just their position on the first podium.

0:19:520:19:56

However, you will be back.

0:19:560:19:57

So let's hope next time the subject's fall well for you.

0:19:570:20:00

And you'll go much further.

0:20:000:20:01

But meantime, thanks very much, Aled and Steve.

0:20:010:20:03

APPLAUSE

0:20:030:20:07

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

0:20:070:20:10

Well done, everyone, we've made it through to Round Two.

0:20:150:20:18

You'll notice that we've lost one of our pairs.

0:20:180:20:20

Another pair will be leaving us at the end of this round.

0:20:200:20:22

Best of luck to all three pairs for our second round.

0:20:220:20:25

Our category for that this afternoon is...

0:20:250:20:29

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going first,

0:20:290:20:32

who's going second?

0:20:320:20:34

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

0:20:340:20:37

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

0:20:390:20:41

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name...

0:20:410:20:45

That is... Contestants on The Great Comic Relief Bake Off

0:20:530:20:56

and Let's Play Darts For Comic Relief. Richard.

0:20:560:20:58

Yeah, we're looking for anybody who appeared on the 2015 series

0:20:580:21:01

of The Great Comic Relief Bake Off

0:21:010:21:02

or Let's Play Darts For Comic Relief.

0:21:020:21:04

That's any of the contestants,

0:21:040:21:05

including the professional darts players.

0:21:050:21:07

The one answer we won't allow is me,

0:21:070:21:09

-cos I did Let's Play Darts For Comic Relief.

-That was going to be mine.

0:21:090:21:12

There's a visual clue of me in the studio.

0:21:120:21:14

MUFFLED LAUGHTER

0:21:140:21:16

SCATTERED LAUGHTER

0:21:180:21:20

Oh, I've got it. I've got. It's you. Thank you very much. Good, got it.

0:21:200:21:25

That's a shame, that was my answer.

0:21:250:21:27

Gbenga.

0:21:270:21:28

I have no idea. It would literally be a shot in the dark.

0:21:290:21:34

-But if I had to say someone... Phil Taylor?

-Surely, Phil Taylor.

0:21:340:21:39

Yes, let's find out. Phil Taylor, was he there? Was he part of it?

0:21:390:21:43

How many people said Phil Taylor?

0:21:430:21:45

I thought that was a shoo-in. I can't believe it.

0:21:500:21:52

100 points, I'm afraid, is what that scores you, Gbenga.

0:21:520:21:55

Yeah, sorry, Gbenga.

0:21:550:21:56

I'll give all the correct answers at the end of the pass.

0:21:560:21:58

-OK, thank you very much indeed.

-It's a pleasure.

-Now, David.

0:21:580:22:02

I say Jennifer Saunders.

0:22:050:22:07

Jennifer Saunders, says David. Let's see if that's right.

0:22:070:22:10

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Jennifer Saunders.

0:22:100:22:13

It's right.

0:22:150:22:16

-AUDIENCE:

-Ooooh...

0:22:160:22:19

Very well done indeed, David,

0:22:210:22:22

19 for Jennifer Saunders.

0:22:220:22:24

Well played, David. Yeah, she appeared on Bake Off.

0:22:270:22:29

-Very funny she was, too.

-Yes. Now, Graham.

-Yes. I do not have a clue.

0:22:290:22:35

In fact, I can't even start to think of a name. So I'll make one up.

0:22:350:22:39

I'll say Arnold Schwarzenegger.

0:22:390:22:42

LAUGHTER

0:22:420:22:44

Wow, you...

0:22:440:22:45

You've just made up a name remarkably like someone else's name.

0:22:470:22:51

Arnold Schwarzenegger. Well, yeah, let's...let's find out.

0:22:510:22:55

No.

0:22:570:22:58

I'm sorry, Graham. Always tough when it's a category you don't know.

0:22:580:23:01

-Yeah, 100 points for that.

-Yeah, sorry, he was going to be

0:23:010:23:03

in Let's Play Darts For Comic Relief, but I knocked him out

0:23:030:23:06

in the qualifying rounds, unfortunately...

0:23:060:23:08

We actually had a game of darts and we tied. It was a draw.

0:23:080:23:11

So the producers are thinking, "How do we deal with this?"

0:23:110:23:14

So we arm wrestled for it.

0:23:140:23:16

And sadly, you know, that was the end of Arnie.

0:23:160:23:19

It's going to happen. There we go.

0:23:190:23:21

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. We are halfway through the round.

0:23:210:23:24

Let's take a look at those scores.

0:23:240:23:25

Well done, David and Janet. Looking very good

0:23:250:23:27

there on 19. Then we travel to 100, where we find Graham and Miki

0:23:270:23:31

and Gbenga and Taiwo.

0:23:310:23:33

So, yes,

0:23:330:23:34

it's going to be between Taiwo and Miki.

0:23:340:23:37

Whichever one of you can find the lowest score...

0:23:370:23:40

Or the correctest answer, let's stick with that, shall we?

0:23:400:23:42

..will be staying with us and the other one will be leaving.

0:23:420:23:45

Best of luck. We'll come back down the line now.

0:23:450:23:47

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

0:23:470:23:50

OK, Miki.

0:23:530:23:54

Remember, we're looking for the name of any celebrity who took part

0:23:540:23:57

in 2015's Great Comic Relief Bake Off

0:23:570:24:00

or Let's Play Darts For Comic Relief.

0:24:000:24:03

Right, I haven't got any clue,

0:24:030:24:06

so I would say just Dawn French.

0:24:060:24:10

Dawn French. Surely, Dawn French.

0:24:100:24:12

That would seem...that would seem logical, wouldn't it?

0:24:120:24:15

Let's see if that's right.

0:24:150:24:16

There's no red line for you as the joint high-scorers.

0:24:160:24:18

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Dawn French.

0:24:180:24:21

Oh, Miki, I'm so sorry.

0:24:250:24:27

That scores you 100 points,

0:24:270:24:28

takes your total up to 200.

0:24:280:24:30

I am going to say, though, that is a better guess than Graham's guess.

0:24:300:24:34

-LAUGHTER

-Yeah.

0:24:340:24:36

-Slightly more likely.

-Hm.

-Now, Janet.

-Yes.

0:24:360:24:39

I have wonderful news for you, which is even if you score 100 points,

0:24:390:24:42

you are still in the head-to-head,

0:24:420:24:43

at this rate, probably as our low-scorers.

0:24:430:24:45

LAUGHTER What would you like to go for?

0:24:450:24:49

-Again, I haven't a clue, so I'm going to pull someone out.

-OK.

0:24:490:24:55

-I'll say Mary Berry.

-Mary Berry.

0:24:550:24:58

No red line for you, you're already through.

0:24:580:25:00

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Mary Berry.

0:25:000:25:03

Oh!

0:25:050:25:07

Bad luck. I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer.

0:25:070:25:10

That scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 119.

0:25:100:25:12

-It's going very well, isn't it?

-Really, really well, yeah.

0:25:120:25:15

I assume she would win if she'd been a contestant on Bake Off.

0:25:150:25:18

She would probably win at the darts as well, knowing Mary Berry.

0:25:180:25:20

I bet she would. But she's good with the arrows.

0:25:200:25:23

Only one way to find out.

0:25:230:25:24

Absolutely. There we go. Thank you very much indeed. Now then, Taiwo.

0:25:240:25:28

You have a target now, which is 99 or less.

0:25:280:25:31

Initially, when the question came up, I thought, "Brilliant!"

0:25:310:25:34

Cos I knew Richard was on it.

0:25:340:25:36

And then he said we can't use him as an answer,

0:25:360:25:38

and I thought, "Oh, dear, that's it."

0:25:380:25:40

So at the moment, I've got no ideas, I'm shooting in the dark,

0:25:400:25:43

but I'm going to go with Phil Tufnell.

0:25:430:25:45

Phil Tufnell, he'd be quite good on either of those shows.

0:25:450:25:48

Well, I say quite good.

0:25:480:25:49

He'd be good value on either of those shows,

0:25:490:25:51

probably better on the darts. I'm not eating anything he's cooked.

0:25:510:25:54

There is your red line.

0:25:540:25:56

If you go below that, Taiwo, you are through to the next round.

0:25:560:25:59

Phil Tufnell, is it right? How many people said it?

0:25:590:26:02

No! I'm afraid that is

0:26:030:26:06

an incorrect answer, scores you 100 points,

0:26:060:26:08

takes your total up to 200 points.

0:26:080:26:09

Well, we have arrived, ladies and gentlemen, at a lockdown scenario.

0:26:090:26:13

This is a lockdown scenario. This studio has now been made safe.

0:26:130:26:18

Oxygen masks will now appear from the ceiling.

0:26:180:26:22

Please attach yours first.

0:26:220:26:23

As it is a tie, the tied pairs have to give me

0:26:250:26:28

one more answer each. You can confer before you give your answer.

0:26:280:26:32

Taiwo and Gbenga will go first.

0:26:320:26:34

I have no idea.

0:26:350:26:36

-THEY WHISPER

-Go for it.

0:26:360:26:39

MIKI AND GRAHAM WHISPER

0:26:390:26:41

Um, OK, shall we give one to the fence again?

0:26:410:26:45

We're going to go for Diane Abbott.

0:26:450:26:47

Diane Abbott. I'm trying to picture her in the darts.

0:26:470:26:50

Then I'm picturing her...in The Bake Off.

0:26:500:26:54

OK. Diane Abbott.

0:26:540:26:56

Yes, Miki and Graham, who would you like to go for?

0:26:560:26:59

Miranda Hart.

0:26:590:27:00

Miranda Hart. For the darts, of course.

0:27:000:27:03

OK, now, in the order they were given, Diane Abbott,

0:27:030:27:06

let's see if it's right. Let's see how many people said it.

0:27:060:27:09

I'm afraid Diane Abbott is an incorrect answer.

0:27:120:27:14

Miranda Hart, let's see how we do with that.

0:27:140:27:17

There we are, Miranda Hart, I'm afraid, also an incorrect answer.

0:27:220:27:25

We are now going to go into... I can't tell you how exciting this is.

0:27:250:27:28

..into super lockdown. LAUGHTER

0:27:280:27:30

Super lockdown.

0:27:300:27:32

That question has now been removed from the computer and has been

0:27:320:27:35

taken out to the country and has been released into the wild.

0:27:350:27:39

We have now managed to catch a new...a new question,

0:27:390:27:42

which we are going to put to you.

0:27:420:27:44

The locked pairs will have a chance to confer again

0:27:440:27:46

and the lowest-scoring pair will stay with us.

0:27:460:27:49

The category is...

0:27:490:27:51

It's Albums.

0:27:530:27:54

We give 100 people 100 seconds to name...

0:27:540:27:57

Yeah, in 2013, Radio 2 listeners voted for their top 100 albums.

0:28:030:28:07

We're looking for any artists on that list.

0:28:070:28:09

There was only one album per artist allowed,

0:28:090:28:11

so there are 100 names on the list.

0:28:110:28:12

So any soloists or band who were on that list, please.

0:28:120:28:15

Very best of luck.

0:28:150:28:16

OK, once again, we come to the pair nearest the tower first.

0:28:160:28:20

So, Taiwo and Gbenga, we come to you first.

0:28:200:28:24

-What do you think?

-Probably Adele.

0:28:240:28:28

-That'll be quite high, though.

-Yeah.

0:28:280:28:31

-All right, shall we just go and say it?

-Yeah, go for Adele.

0:28:310:28:34

We are going to go with Adele.

0:28:340:28:37

Adele, say Taiwo and Gbenga.

0:28:370:28:40

Now then, Miki and Graham, who would you like to go for?

0:28:400:28:43

-We're going to go for The Police.

-The Police.

0:28:430:28:46

So we have Adele and The Police.

0:28:460:28:48

In the order they were given..

0:28:480:28:50

Adele, how many of our 100 people said that?

0:28:500:28:52

It's right.

0:28:530:28:54

APPLAUSE

0:29:010:29:03

15 for Adele, taking your total up to 315.

0:29:030:29:06

Now then, Miki and Graham, you have to score 14 or less

0:29:060:29:10

to get through to the head-to-head.

0:29:100:29:11

Good luck. You've gone for The Police.

0:29:110:29:13

How many of our 100 people said The Police?

0:29:130:29:15

It's right.

0:29:180:29:19

Well, Adele scored 15. The Police now through the 20s.

0:29:190:29:21

You passed 15.

0:29:210:29:25

You've done it. 2 for The Police!

0:29:250:29:26

Very well done indeed.

0:29:260:29:28

302 is your total.

0:29:280:29:29

-You are through to the head-to-head.

-Well played, Miki and Graham.

0:29:320:29:35

We got there in the end.

0:29:350:29:36

Shall we look at the pointless answers for the original question?

0:29:360:29:39

Do you remember back in the '50s when we did the original question?

0:29:390:29:42

I will read through them, the pointless answers.

0:29:420:29:44

All the pointless answers were professional darts players.

0:29:440:29:47

There's Darryl Fitton, Ted Hankey - world champion, Deta Hedman,

0:29:470:29:50

who was my partner - women's world number one,

0:29:500:29:52

and Anastasia Dobromyslova.

0:29:520:29:54

And the top answers were Victoria Wood,

0:29:540:29:57

would have scored you 18. Jennifer Saunders we had on 19.

0:29:570:29:59

And Dame Edna Everage was the biggest score of all on 21.

0:29:590:30:03

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

0:30:030:30:05

So at the end of our second round, the pair who are heading home

0:30:050:30:07

with their high score, very high score, of 315, Taiwo and Gbenga.

0:30:070:30:12

I'm so sorry. That was a tough round, wasn't it?

0:30:120:30:14

-Very tough.

-We'll see you again next time.

0:30:140:30:16

On the strength of your answering up to this point,

0:30:160:30:18

I think we can expect to see more of you.

0:30:180:30:20

Meanwhile, thanks very much indeed.

0:30:200:30:21

Taiwo and Gbenga, great contestants.

0:30:210:30:23

APPLAUSE

0:30:230:30:26

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

0:30:260:30:29

Very well done, David and Janet, Graham and Miki,

0:30:340:30:37

you're now one step closer to the final and a chance to play

0:30:370:30:40

for our jackpot, which currently stands at £4,250.

0:30:400:30:43

APPLAUSE

0:30:430:30:47

Well, from here on in, you can start playing as a team.

0:30:470:30:49

You can confer before giving your answers.

0:30:490:30:51

First pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

0:30:510:30:54

Well, the big news is, we all made it through lockdown,

0:30:540:30:57

double lockdown, super lockdown, in fact, it was.

0:30:570:31:00

So, very, very well done, everyone.

0:31:000:31:02

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

0:31:020:31:06

Here is your first question. And it concerns...

0:31:100:31:13

Yeah, we're going to show you five stills now from films

0:31:160:31:19

made by the Dutch director Paul Verhoeven.

0:31:190:31:21

You just need to tell us the most obscure of these, please.

0:31:210:31:23

-Good luck.

-Thank you very much. OK, let's reveal our five stills.

0:31:230:31:26

And here they come.

0:31:260:31:27

There we are. Five Paul Verhoeven films.

0:31:490:31:52

David and Janet, you're our low-scorers, so you'll go first.

0:31:520:31:55

-HE WHISPERS

-Yeah.

0:31:550:31:57

That one there, I know what it is. The last one is...

0:32:000:32:04

-All right, go that.

-Yeah?

0:32:040:32:07

I think E is Robocop.

0:32:070:32:09

Robocop, say David and Janet. Robocop. Now, Graham and Miki,

0:32:090:32:12

do you want to talk us through the rest of the board?

0:32:120:32:15

I think A is... I think it's Total Recall, but I'm not sure.

0:32:150:32:18

B we think is Black Book.

0:32:180:32:21

C is Basic Instinct.

0:32:210:32:24

And D we're not sure of. We'll go with B - Black Book.

0:32:240:32:29

B - Black Book. So we have Robocop and we have Black Book.

0:32:290:32:32

David and Janet said Robocop for E, let's see if that's right.

0:32:320:32:35

Let's see how many people said it.

0:32:350:32:37

It is right. Oh, 72. Big score there, David and Janet.

0:32:400:32:43

APPLAUSE

0:32:430:32:47

Meanwhile, Graham and Miki and have gone for Black Book for B.

0:32:470:32:51

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said Black Book.

0:32:510:32:55

It's right.

0:32:560:32:58

And it wins you the point.

0:32:580:32:59

Very well done indeed. 5 of for Black Book.

0:33:020:33:05

That's a great score. And very well done, Graham and Miki.

0:33:050:33:08

-It means, after one question, you are up 1-0.

-Terrific answer.

0:33:080:33:11

Very well played. You're right about A, it was Total Recall.

0:33:110:33:16

It would have scored 23.

0:33:160:33:18

C, of course, is Basic Instinct.

0:33:180:33:20

It would have scored you 35.

0:33:200:33:22

And D is Flesh And Blood.

0:33:220:33:25

And very well done if you said that, it's a pointless answer.

0:33:250:33:28

Thank you very much indeed. OK, here comes your second question.

0:33:280:33:31

David and Janet, you have to win this one to stay in the game.

0:33:310:33:34

Graham and Miki will answer it first. It concerns...

0:33:340:33:38

-Richard.

-We'll show you the name now of five bodies of fresh water

0:33:410:33:44

in the UK, but we've removed alternate letters.

0:33:440:33:47

Can you fill in those gaps?

0:33:470:33:48

OK. Let's reveal our five bodies of water, and here they are.

0:33:480:33:51

I'll read those quickly one last time.

0:34:050:34:07

Graham and Miki will go first.

0:34:140:34:16

THEY WHISPER

0:34:160:34:18

I think we're going to go for the top one, which is Ullswater.

0:34:250:34:28

Ullswater, say Graham and Miki. Ullswater.

0:34:280:34:31

OK, David and Janet, over to you.

0:34:310:34:32

Talk us through as many of those as you can.

0:34:320:34:34

We think the second one is Loch Lomond.

0:34:340:34:37

The third is Windermere.

0:34:370:34:39

-No idea about...

-We have no idea about the other two.

0:34:390:34:42

So we'll go for Windermere.

0:34:420:34:44

You're going to go for Windermere?

0:34:440:34:46

So we have Ullswater and we have Windermere.

0:34:460:34:48

Graham and Miki went for Ullswater. Let's see if that's right.

0:34:480:34:51

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Ullswater.

0:34:510:34:54

It's right.

0:34:560:34:57

APPLAUSE

0:35:010:35:05

53 for Ullswater. Now, David and Janet have gone for Windermere.

0:35:050:35:09

Let's see if Windermere is right. Let's see how me people said that.

0:35:090:35:13

It's right.

0:35:150:35:17

65 for Windermere. Very well done.

0:35:180:35:21

Graham and Miki, after only two questions,

0:35:210:35:23

-you are through to the final, 2-0.

-Yeah, well played.

0:35:230:35:25

Loch Lomond would've won you the point, actually.

0:35:250:35:27

It would have scored you 43.

0:35:270:35:30

-Oh!

-Sorry about that.

0:35:300:35:32

The next one down is a shallow lake on Bodmin Moor. And it's...

0:35:320:35:35

I'm probably pronouncing it wrong, but it's Dozmary Pool.

0:35:350:35:38

And it was a pointless answer, so very well done if you said that.

0:35:380:35:41

And the bottom one is Lough Neagh. 9 points for that.

0:35:410:35:44

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

0:35:440:35:46

So the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

0:35:460:35:49

I'm afraid, is David and Janet. We say goodbye to you now.

0:35:490:35:51

But not for too long, cos we'll see you again next time.

0:35:510:35:53

From your performance today,

0:35:530:35:55

I'm sure we will see more of you then. But in the meantime,

0:35:550:35:57

thanks very much, David and Janet.

0:35:570:35:59

APPLAUSE

0:35:590:36:02

But for Graham and Nikki, it's now time for our Pointless final.

0:36:020:36:05

Very well done, Graham and Miki. You've seen off all the competition,

0:36:080:36:11

you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

0:36:110:36:14

You now have a chance to play for our Pointless jackpot.

0:36:200:36:23

At the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £4,250.

0:36:230:36:27

-AUDIENCE:

-Oh!

0:36:270:36:29

Well, all in all, a very strong performance on Pointless.

0:36:300:36:33

You've been in the head-to-head twice now.

0:36:330:36:35

This time, it all fell very well for you in the final.

0:36:350:36:38

We'll gloss over Round Two in today's show.

0:36:380:36:41

But anything you'd particularly like to see come up on the board?

0:36:410:36:45

For me, I like geography, I like history.

0:36:450:36:49

Geography or literature, maybe.

0:36:490:36:52

OK, let's hope there's something you like the look of.

0:36:520:36:54

Today's selection looks like this.

0:36:540:36:57

LAUGHTER

0:36:570:36:59

I think we really have no choice in picking Japan.

0:37:050:37:08

Hm. Japan.

0:37:080:37:11

OK. Japan, you reckon(?)

0:37:110:37:12

This does happen sometimes, doesn't it?

0:37:120:37:14

It's been on the board a few times before.

0:37:140:37:16

Are you absolutely sure you don't want to go for singers called Billy?

0:37:160:37:20

-No.

-Eh, no.

-OK, very, very best of luck.

0:37:200:37:23

We are looking for any of the following.

0:37:230:37:25

We are looking for any Japanese designated cities,

0:37:250:37:29

those are the biggest 20 cities in Japan apart from Tokyo.

0:37:290:37:32

We're looking for any feature film made for cinema release

0:37:320:37:35

directed by Akira Kurosawa

0:37:350:37:37

up to the beginning of July 2015, according to IMDb.

0:37:370:37:41

We're looking for any novels written by Haruki Murakami.

0:37:410:37:44

We are looking for the English titles. Any books that have

0:37:440:37:47

been translated into English and released in England.

0:37:470:37:49

So any of the 20 biggest cities in Japan, other than Tokyo.

0:37:490:37:53

Any film directed by Akira Kurosawa.

0:37:530:37:55

Any novels written by Haruki Murakami.

0:37:550:37:58

-Very best of luck.

-There we are. OK, well, as always,

0:37:580:38:01

you've got a minute to come up with three answers.

0:38:010:38:03

All you need to win that jackpot is for just one of your answers

0:38:030:38:06

to be pointless. Are you ready?

0:38:060:38:08

-BOTH:

-Yes.

-Let's put 60 seconds up on the clock. There they are.

0:38:080:38:11

-Your time starts now.

-This has just become the Makiko show.

0:38:110:38:15

Not really. I don't know about Akira Kurosawa films.

0:38:150:38:19

Seven Samurais.

0:38:190:38:20

Yeah. What about the Japanese designated cities?

0:38:200:38:24

-There are loads.

-Think about obscure,

0:38:240:38:27

-especially in the North Island.

-Yeah.

0:38:270:38:29

-Sapporo.

-It's common, though, isn't it?

-Is it?

0:38:290:38:33

-Fukui.

-No, it's not designated.

0:38:330:38:37

Osaka.

0:38:370:38:40

Sapporo. Maybe Sapporo and Nagoya.

0:38:400:38:43

Speak up.

0:38:430:38:45

Go down to Nagasaki. Nagasaki is quite famous, isn't it? Hiroshima?

0:38:450:38:50

Nagasaki?

0:38:500:38:52

-They're famous, though, aren't they?

-What else?

0:38:520:38:55

What about Naha?

0:38:550:38:57

Yeah, Naha.

0:38:570:38:59

-Yeah.

-Not many people would think of it because...

-Ten seconds left.

0:38:590:39:03

..it's on Okinawa.

0:39:030:39:04

So Sapporo, Nagoya and Naha?

0:39:040:39:08

-Yeah, OK.

-Let's try.

0:39:080:39:10

-OK.

-OK, sounds like you've arrived at your answers.

0:39:100:39:12

Your minute is now up. Let's hear what they are.

0:39:120:39:14

If you say which category you're answering, that'd be great.

0:39:140:39:17

-Yeah, they are all from Japanese designated cities.

-OK.

0:39:170:39:21

-We said Naha.

-Naha.

-What was the other ones?

0:39:210:39:25

-Nagoya.

-Nagoya.

0:39:250:39:27

-BOTH:

-And Sapporo.

0:39:270:39:29

And Sapporo.

0:39:290:39:30

Now, of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

0:39:300:39:33

-Shall we say Naha?

-Naha goes last. Least likely to be pointless?

0:39:330:39:37

-Probably Sapporo.

-Sapporo.

0:39:370:39:38

OK, well, let's put those answers up on the board in that order then,

0:39:380:39:41

and here they are...

0:39:410:39:43

Well, three very good answers up there on the board.

0:39:470:39:50

Now, let's just imagine that you win that jackpot with one of these

0:39:500:39:54

answers. £4,250, that's quite a nice jackpot to take home.

0:39:540:39:59

What would you do with that? First you, Graham.

0:39:590:40:01

I think... I NEED to buy a more aggressive front bumper for my car.

0:40:010:40:06

-OK, a more aggressive front bumper for the car.

-It's a long story.

0:40:060:40:10

OK, fair enough. Miki, how about you?

0:40:100:40:13

I would like kitchen gadgets for my, you know, baking and cooking.

0:40:140:40:19

-I want some attachments for my KitchenAid.

-OK. Very good indeed.

0:40:190:40:22

I think you can probably get

0:40:220:40:23

a few things maybe over and above that with...

0:40:230:40:25

Depends how aggressive you want to go on the front bumper, of course.

0:40:250:40:29

Now, in all three of these cases,

0:40:290:40:30

were looking for Japanese designated cities.

0:40:300:40:32

Your first answer was Sapporo. Let's see.

0:40:320:40:36

It has to be right, obviously,

0:40:360:40:37

then it has to be pointless for you to win.

0:40:370:40:39

So for £4,250, let's see how many people said Sapporo.

0:40:390:40:42

It is right.

0:40:460:40:47

Sapporo only has to take us down to zero now

0:40:480:40:51

and you will leave with that jackpot of £4,250.

0:40:510:40:54

Sapporo now into single figures.

0:40:540:40:55

Down it goes. Still going down.

0:40:550:40:57

Still going down. You've done it!

0:40:570:40:58

Very well done!

0:40:580:40:59

Yay!

0:40:590:41:01

-Very well done.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

0:41:040:41:07

CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

0:41:070:41:09

-Shocked.

-Shocking!

0:41:090:41:11

Well, there we are. Congratulations, Sapporo was a pointless answer,

0:41:110:41:15

which means you go home with that jackpot of £4,250.

0:41:150:41:18

-Very well done indeed.

-Thank you.

0:41:180:41:20

CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

0:41:200:41:23

I mean, that's the luck of the draw sometimes. It's lovely.

0:41:230:41:26

Lots of people at home are thinking, "I'd love to go on a Japanese

0:41:260:41:28

"game show and be asked the 20 biggest cities in Britain."

0:41:280:41:31

-LAUGHTER

-It would be a lovely question.

0:41:310:41:33

-And Nagoya would have scored you 1 point.

-Ah.

0:41:330:41:36

And Naha not on the list at all, not quite big enough.

0:41:360:41:40

So well done, Sapporo.

0:41:400:41:42

Now I'm going to go through some pointless answers here.

0:41:420:41:44

I'm rarely quite so self-conscious about my pronunciation, but...

0:41:440:41:48

Here we go.

0:41:480:41:50

Sapporo, there you go. In fact, every one apart from Hiroshima,

0:41:520:41:55

Kyoto, Osaka, Yokohama and Nagoya, Sendai and Kobe.

0:41:550:41:59

All the other cities were pointless answers.

0:41:590:42:02

Very well done if you got any of those at home.

0:42:020:42:04

Films directed now by Akira Kurasawa...

0:42:040:42:07

-Yojimbo, would you say?

-Yojimbo, yeah.

-Yojimbo.

0:42:120:42:15

Everything there apart from Seven Samurai, Rashomon,

0:42:150:42:18

Throne Of Blood, and Ran, everything else is a pointless answer.

0:42:180:42:22

Now let's take a look at Murakami...

0:42:220:42:25

In fact, everything apart from Norwegian Wood

0:42:320:42:34

and Dance Dance Dance was a pointless answer.

0:42:340:42:36

Very well done if you got those at home.

0:42:360:42:38

Graham and Miki, you know what, you've been terrific in two shows,

0:42:380:42:41

so, you know, it's lovely for a stroke of luck to befall you.

0:42:410:42:44

-Congratulations.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

-Thanks very much.

0:42:440:42:46

And thanks once again to our winning players, Graham and Miki,

0:42:460:42:49

who go away with today's jackpot of £4,250. Very well done.

0:42:490:42:53

CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

0:42:530:42:55

Join us next time when we'll put more obscure knowledge to the test

0:42:550:42:58

-on Pointless. Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

0:42:580:43:01

..and it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

0:43:010:43:03

Quiz in which contestants try to score as few points as possible by plumbing the depths of their general knowledge to come up with the answers no-one else can think of. Presented by Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman.


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