Episode 4 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and a very warm welcome to Pointless,

the game where you are always striving to find the lowest score.

Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hello, I'm Steve, and this is Vickie.

We're husband and wife, and we're from Cobham.

-Couple number two.

-My name's Paddy,

this is my oldest friend, Sean, and we are from Liverpool.

-Couple number three.

-Hello.

We're Bill and Jill, husband and wife,

from Hunstanton in Norfolk.

And finally couple number four.

Hello. I'm Claire. This is my niece, Georgie.

I'm from Gloucester, and she's from Stockport.

And these are today's contestants.

Thanks very much, all of you.

We'll find out more about you throughout the show.

So, that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

A picture of him is being sent into space

to show any intelligent life out there

what intelligent life here looks like.

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya.

Hello. Afternoon.

-Good afternoon to you.

-And to you.

-Now, two returning pairs from that last show.

-Yes.

We've got Sean and Paddy on podium two -

got knocked out in Round Two -

and Jill and Bill, our rhyming couple.

We love a rhyming couple.

First rhyming couple since Eve and Steve.

So very, very welcome back.

But a lovely jackpot round last time.

-Paul and Mary got through to it...

-Yeah.

..and it was various actors from different ballet films,

so it was Black Swan, Billy Elliot, The Red Shoes,

and Paul had a fantastically good encyclopaedic knowledge

of Black Swan

and came up with a fantastic answer.

And then his mum, just one of her friends was in Billy Elliot,

so she said her, and they both got a pointless answer.

So that was a lovely combination

of different types of intelligence there,

and walked away with the money.

Very good. Deservedly so. Thanks very much.

Now, Paul and Mary, as you'll have gathered, won the jackpot last time,

which means we start off with today's jackpot at £1,000.

There it is.

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

So, remember, the pair with the highest score

at the end of each round will be eliminated,

and no conferring till we get to the head-to-head.

Our first category this afternoon is...

Famous People. Can you all decide in your pairs

who's to go first, who's to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Middle initials. Richard.

We're going to give you seven clues on each board.

The answers to all of them are people known by

a first name, a last name and a middle initial.

You just need to give us the most obscure of those.

There's going to be 14 names to guess at home. Very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed.

Let's reveal our first board of seven, and here it comes.

We've got...

I'll read those all one last time.

-Vickie, welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

-Always tough going on that first podium, isn't it?

-Yes!

It's lovely to have you here.

What do you do, Vickie, down in Cobham?

I'm the assistant cemetery superintendent at Epsom Cemetery.

Right. How long have you done that for?

I've been at Epsom Cemetery for about two years.

I see. So, and, Vickie, what do you do when you're not at the cemetery?

Erm...we like going to the cinema, watching films...

-..things like that.

-OK. Very good indeed.

-Now, Vickie, what would you like to go for on this board?

-Ergh...

OK. Not brilliant. There's two I definitely know -

one I'm pretty sure on, but it would be a gamble.

Erm...I might play safe.

The Tarantino actor, Samuel L Jackson.

Samuel L Jackson, says Vickie. Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Samuel L Jackson.

It's right.

-31. Not bad.

-No.

APPLAUSE Not too safe.

Well played, Vickie. Yeah, he was 46 when Pulp Fiction was released.

He's gone on... By some measures, he's gone on

-to be the highest grossing actor of all time.

-Wow.

Of all time.

Certain people disagree, but there are measures by which

he is the highest grossing movie actor in history.

-Good going.

-Yeah.

-What does the L stand for?

-It stands for Leroy.

-Leroy.

-Samuel Leroy Jackson.

-Samuel Leroy Jackson.

-OK. Paddy, welcome back.

-Hello.

Paddy, remind us what you do.

I'm a writer based in Liverpool at the minute, yeah.

-And what are you writing at the moment?

-Erm...

Different bits and pieces,

but maybe after this I'll write a...game show play...

-A game show play.

-I'll get you to appear in it.

You see, that would be good. That would be...

I mean, cos this is kind of a three-act play, isn't it?

-Me and Sean could star in it.

-Yes!

Well, let's hope a bit more than you did last time.

LAUGHTER Paddy, what are your interests

aside from writing?

-I suppose writing is an interest, isn't it?

-Yeah.

I play in a band with Sean

and we're...we're going...doing gigs around the country,

and we're going to Barcelona, playing a gig next month

-or the month after...

-That's going to be fun.

-..which'll be good.

Very good indeed. OK, now, Paddy,

what are you going to go for on our board of middle initials?

There's a few I could guess on,

but I'm going to go for the kind of safest option at the minute,

and I'm going to go to for the president who was assassinated,

which is JF Kennedy.

OK. JF Kennedy. JF Kennedy. Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

63. APPLAUSE

Well, that puts Vickie in the clear.

63 for you, though. Quite high.

That really is a safe option, yeah.

Better than the last time we asked a question like that,

when me asked who was assassinated in Dallas in 1963

and someone said JR Ewing.

LAUGHTER

Thanks very much.

-Now, Jill.

-Hello.

-Welcome back to Pointless.

-Thank you.

-Here from Norfolk. What do you do, Jill?

Well, I do Scottish dancing and bowling which...

Not together?! That could be lethal. Absolutely...

-How often do you do your Scottish dancing, Jill?

-Twice a week.

See, that's good. Keeps you fit, I should think.

-Yes, yes.

-Very good.

-And we just have...

What evenings do you do it?

Well, Wednesday evening and Thursday morning.

So you've barely got time to get over

your blisters from the night before.

-We don't bother to take the shoes off.

-No, I shouldn't.

-No.

-You just dance through.

-Yes.

-Dance on through, Jill.

Very good. What would you like to go for on our board here?

Well, I was going to go for JFK, but...

I'm going to go for the quiz show host

who, I hope, is William G Stewart.

-William G Stewart, says Jill.

-Yes.

-Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said William G Stewart.

That's a very good answer.

Look at that. 7.

Very well done indeed, Jill. APPLAUSE

7.

See, that's the thing -

you would've gone for John F Kennedy until you were forced to...

And obviously you know William G Stewart,

you know it's the right answer, but as soon as those lights are on,

it plays tricks with the mind.

-William Gladstone Stewart.

-Hmm. Eminent names.

-What's your middle name?

-Henry Fenwick - I've got two.

Oh, yeah. Is Fenwick, I presume, like a family...

-Yeah.

-..surname name?

-It is, yeah.

-That's nice.

-Yeah. Thank you.

-Georgie.

-Hi.

-Welcome to Pointless.

-Lovely to have you here. From Stockport.

-Yeah.

What do you do, Georgie?

I'm currently at university in Preston,

and I'm doing policing and criminal investigation.

-That's a fun course, isn't it?

-Yeah, it is.

-I mean, so that's a three-year course, is it?

-Yeah.

-So, just into my third year.

-And that's...

I mean, that's fairly vocational, isn't it?

I imagine not many people go on to that

-and work in the City, for example, do they?

-No, no, it is quite...

But, I mean, you could get any job with it, I suppose -

it doesn't have to be a police officer.

But I'm guessing you'd like to be a police officer, wouldn't you?

Something related to the police, working in the police,

-but not necessarily a police officer.

-OK.

Are there any sort of new areas of crime

that you're thinking you'd like to specialise in?

Sorry, not as criminal, you understand. I mean on the...

Well, I know all the, you know, tips and tricks.

Erm...well, cybercrime's really sort of fashionable now,

so that's probably...that's where all the jobs are mainly.

Yes, of course. Absolutely.

Georgie, what you do when you're not working at university?

I play cricket.

Yeah, I'm a captain of my local ladies' team.

Do you bat or bowl or both?

-Oh, I'm definitely a bowler.

-A bowler.

-Yeah.

I'd like to bat, but it doesn't happen. Yeah.

Very good. Now, Georgie, this board is all yours.

Do you want to talk us through it? Maybe fill in some of the blanks.

Definitely not. The only two I knew have gone.

I'm just going to have to have a real guess

and go with The Simpsons and Matt E...Grossning.

-Matt E... It's one of those weird names.

-Yeah.

-"Graining" is how you're meant to pronounce it.

-Yeah, I'm not sure...

Matt E Groening, you're going to say. Matt E Groening.

Let's see if it's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Matt E Groening.

-Oops.

-I'm sorry.

-I knew it wouldn't be right.

-A tough board, actually...

-Yeah.

..once the low hanging fruit's been picked.

That scores you 100 points, I'm afraid, Georgie.

Unlucky there on podium four. Let's go through this board.

Can you get the rest of this board?

You could probably guess most of these.

-The science-fiction writer?

-Arthur C Clarke.

Yeah, Arthur Charles Clarke. 24 points.

The singer. Any female singer with a middle initial?

-Mary J Blige.

-Mary J Blige! Oh, I should've got that.

-Mary J Blige.

-Yeah.

-Would've scored you 13.

The writer and producer of The Simpsons, As Good As It Gets,

Terms of Endearment...?

-James L Brooks.

-Yep. James Lawrence Brooks. 2 points for that.

-And the journalist?

-Hunter S Thompson.

Hunter S Thompson. Hunter Stockton Thompson. 10 points for that.

So, James Lawrence Brooks, best answer on that board with 2 points.

Thank you very much, Richard.

We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at those scores.

Jill, very well done. Look at that.

7 points for Jill and Bill.

Yes, we'll have no repetition of last time

with this sort of early exit nonsense.

Then up to 31, where we find Vickie and Steve.

Good score there.

63, Paddy and Sean, and Georgie and Claire

-on 100.

-Sorry.

-So, Claire, we need a nice low score from you.

-I'll try.

But you'll have first dibs on the new board -

let's hope there's something there.

Don't be tempted to go for anything too easy - that's what we've learnt.

We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players step up to the podium?

OK, let's put seven more clues up on the board, and here they are.

We've got...

I'll read those all one last time.

-Claire, welcome.

-Yes. Hello.

-Very good to have you here.

-And you're here from Gloucester.

-I am.

-What do you do in Gloucester?

I'm a communications manager

for a charity that supports rural communities.

Very good. What a fantastic job to do.

Now, Claire, what you do for fun when you're not doing that?

-For fun? Ooh, I like to read a lot, eat biscuits.

-Yes!

-Sometimes at the same time.

-Sometimes biscuits have writing on.

-Yeah, that's true.

-Those Nice ones do.

I've recently taken up ceramics, which has been a bit of a disaster.

I thought I might be good, but I'm not.

Maybe it takes time, though.

-Maybe it's not something you can be brilliant at overnight.

-No.

Everybody else has made a lovely bird,

and I've made a lump of clay with a beak.

-Yeah.

-LAUGHTER

But maybe that's what lovely birds actually... Oh, I don't know.

-No, I'm not sure I can...

-It's not lovely.

-Yeah.

Well, maybe put something on a wheel - what about that?

We haven't gone near the wheel yet.

I'm not good enough to get anywhere near a wheel.

-Maybe that's where your strengths lie, you know?

-Possibly.

You'll put them all to shame when you're onto the wheel.

Anyway, Claire, you're the high scorers,

-so we need a low score from you at this point.

-OK.

Just to point out, though,

Jill managed to find a 7 score on the last board,

so if you could find something nice and low like that,

you could be very much in the running for Round Two.

Well...I think it's a hard board.

I'm going to go for the author of Three Men In A Boat,

-which is Jerome K Jerome.

-Jerome K Jerome, says Claire.

No red line for you as you're the high scorers,

but let's see how far down the column we get with Jerome K Jerome.

It's a good answer.

Very well done indeed. 15. APPLAUSE

Just what we needed from you, Claire.

-115 is your total.

-Well played, Claire,

and you never know - there might be another 100 out there as well.

-The K stands for Klapka.

-Klapka?

-That's a nice name, isn't it?

-That's a good name, isn't it?

-Jerome Klapka Jerome.

-Klapka.

Excellent. Thank you, Richard.

Bill, welcome back.

Now, remind us what you do, Bill.

I bowl and I do Scottish country dancing along with my wife.

-I also make lace.

-You make lace?

-I make lace.

-How long have you been making lace for?

-About three years.

-It's something I picked up...

-And tell us how you do that.

Well, little lines... You use bobbins.

But what's your raw material?

-Thread...

-OK.

-And...

-Oh, I see. So...

-..wound onto bobbins.

But a particular kind of thread or any sort of normal thread?

You can use cotton, silk, linen.

But it's wound onto bobbins, and you make...

And you move the bobbins around and, lo and behold, lace appears.

-And do you do...just a sort of pattern?

-It's more weaving.

How long does it take you to make a sort of, I don't know,

sort of lace thing that sort of size?

It depends how quickly you go,

but at the size you're talking about, probably about two years.

It takes a long time.

That's quite a lot of episodes of Pointless, isn't it,

to be sitting through.

Now, Bill, you are through to the next round no matter what you score

thanks to Jill's exceptionally astute answering in the first pass.

What are you going to go for on this board?

Well, I share the view this looks difficult,

and I was going to go with Jerome K Jerome.

I think the author of the 1968 novel

is Philip K Dick.

Philip K Dick, says Bill.

No red line - you're already through.

Let's see how many people said Philip K Dick.

It is right.

11. APPLAUSE

Good answer. Taking your total up to 18 -

the lowest total of the round.

Great answer, Bill. Very well played.

Of course, that novel forms the basis for Blade Runner,

and his K stands for Kindred.

-Philip Kindred Dick.

-Yes.

-Every one of those names interesting.

-Yes.

Every one of those we could talk about for sometime.

Let's do that later. LAUGHTER

Thank you, Richard.

-Now, Sean.

-Yes.

-Welcome back.

-Thank you.

-Remind us what you do, Sean.

-I'm a waiter in a restaurant.

-What sort of restaurant is it?

-Indian street food.

Indian street food restaurant.

Now, tell us about your band with Paddy.

What sort of music do you play?

Sort of a kind of lo-fi sort of chamber pop sort of...

-Chamber pop?

-Yeah.

-That sounds...

-That's dangerously close to chamber pot, isn't it?

-Yeah, yeah.

-LAUGHTER

-What's the name of the band?

-A Lovely War.

-A Lovely War.

-Yeah.

A Lovely War. OK.

-Lo-fi chamber pop.

-Yeah.

I've never heard chamber pop before. Have you?

Yeah, it's a bit like Gregorian thrash.

-LAUGHTER

-Yeah.

-Chamber pop.

Sounds like something you'd hear live from the Wigmore Hall

at lunchtime on Radio 3. Ah...

-It's not that, is it, though?

-Not really, no.

Give us some of your song titles to give Xander a better idea of...

There's one called Maxine, We're Alive.

-Maxi and We're Alive?

-Maxine, We're Alive.

-One called Augusta Leigh.

-Augusta...

-These are good names. I like that.

-Look it up.

OK. Now, you're on 63,

the high scorers at the moment are Claire and Georgie on 115,

so 51 or less gets you into the next round.

Well, I was going to say Philip K Dick,

and the only two I know are probably going to be quite high,

but I'm going to say Michael J Fox...

-for Marty McFly.

-Michael J Fox. OK. Michael J Fox.

Here's your red line - you have to get below that.

Let's see if you can with Michael J Fox.

You've done it. Very well done.

Good answer. 29. APPLAUSE

Takes your total up to 92.

Well played, Sean, and his J doesn't stand for anything at all.

It was to differentiate himself from another Michael Fox.

His name is Michael Andrew Fox.

Thank you, Richard.

Steve, welcome to Pointless. What do you do, Steve?

I'm a crematorium attendant.

Right. In the same...

Obviously, same industry as Vickie, but not the same...?

Vickie's at Epsom.

-You're at a cemetery, and you're at a crematorium.

-Yeah.

-I see.

-Did you meet through your...through the overlap...

-No.

..in the great Venn diagram of your two jobs?

-LAUGHTER

-No.

-No?

Interesting.

And what do you do as a hobby, Steve?

What interests you aside from the crematorium?

Well, I hasten to say I play golf - I attend.

-You attend golf?

-Yeah.

-Sometimes holding a club?

Sometimes, yeah. Never very good.

Just kind of... We're kind of like the Red Arrows -

we all start and we all finish together,

but in between we're nowhere near each other.

See, that's fun, though.

You've all got different tales to tell

when you meet at the end of the day.

There you are on 31.

The high scorers are still Claire and Georgie on 115.

Do you fancy talking through the board at all?

It's not the easiest, is it, this board?

The only one I'm really probably sure on is US president,

which is George W Bush.

-That is what you're going to go for?

-It is, yeah.

-George W Bush.

Well, you have to score 83 or less.

Nice high red line.

It's a sort of politics question,

so our 100 aren't always reliable on those questions,

so who knows where it'll end up.

George W Bush - will it get Steve below the red line?

It will. There we are.

33.

APPLAUSE 64 is your total.

Well played, Steve. Safely through. Let's go through the rest of these.

You won't know the one at the top so I won't force you to do that.

Do you know the producer and director?

-Cecil B DeMille.

-Cecil B DeMille.

-Indeed.

Would've scored you 9 points.

Now, do you know the American comedian?

You do know him. It's a brilliant comic.

It's Reginald D Hunter.

-Oh, God, of course.

-Something really worth catching

if you haven't seen it. 10 points for that.

And the top answer was a pointless answer.

Very well done if you said Mary Meagher. Mary Meagher.

Would've scored you nothing at all.

And her middle name is Terstegge.

-Terstegge?

-Yeah.

-There we go.

-Lovely name.

-It's a great name.

-Mm.

-Terstegge.

Excellent. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Well, we're at the end of our first round,

but I'm sorry to say our aunt-and-niece combination

on the fourth podium are our high scorers.

You're not way ahead, though.

Not that far ahead at all, Claire and Georgie.

But, yes, people were rather better with that...that second board.

Some tough answers that people managed to truffle out there,

which means we have to say goodbye. We'll see you again next time.

We look forward to that very much.

-In the meantime, thanks very much, Claire and Georgie.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

Well, welcome to Round Two, everyone. Lovely to have you here.

You will have noticed that, as happens on Pointless,

it's all gone a little bit smaller. We've lost one of our pairs.

But very well done, particularly to Jill and Bill

for rhyming lowest individual score, lowest combined score - very good.

Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two this afternoon is...

Musicals. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. Let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

ABBA singles in Mamma Mia. Richard.

Yeah, we're looking for any song which was in

the original London cast recording of Mamma Mia, please,

that was also a UK Top 40 hit for ABBA.

So any song on the original cast recording

that was also a UK Top 40 hit for ABBA.

We won't accept Mamma Mia. In the interest of fairness,

I should also point out that Waterloo,

although it's very famously in the film,

was not in that original cast recording.

Very best of luck.

OK. So, Steve, Steve. A fan of musicals?

-Kind of.

-THEY LAUGH

A fan of Mamma Mia? How many times have you been to see it?

-Once... Twice, I think, on video.

-Oh, there you are.

I'm going to say Winner Takes It All.

The Winner Takes It All, says Steve.

Hardly sure if that's even the words of an ABBA song, but we'll see.

So...The Winner Takes It All.

Is it right? How many people said it?

-25.

-Wow.

APPLAUSE

25 for The Winner Takes It All.

Yeah, a good answer from a man pretending not to be an ABBA fan.

-Well played.

-Thank you very much.

-Now, Paddy.

-This is a bit of a disaster for me.

-Yes, yeah...

We'll take the preamble as said, shall we?

I only really know chamber pop, and so...

-LAUGHTER

-But...

You know every single lyric to every single song in Mamma Mia.

I'm going to go...the one I think is correct,

and I'm going to go for Dancing Queen.

Dancing Queen, says Paddy. Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Dancing Queen.

35. Not bad. APPLAUSE

Not bad at all.

Number one for six weeks in 1976, Dancing Queen.

Interestingly about ABBA, genuinely, listening to the songs now,

-they have not aged at all, some of those songs.

-No.

-It's extraordinary.

-Isn't that extraordinary? Yeah.

-Excellent. Thank you. Now, Jill, Jill.

-Yes.

Are you...? Now, I saw you...I saw you go down like this.

I wasn't sure if that was with sheer euphoria

that we'd finally come up with a subject so close to your heart

or if it was despair.

It was despair.

I have seen the film, and for the life of me,

-I can't think of any of the songs in it.

-OK.

I'm going to have to make one up. Erm...

-Love Me, Please.

-Love Me, Please, says Jill. OK.

Well, let's see if that's right,

-let's see how many of our 100 people said Love Me, Please.

-No. I'm sorry.

-Sorry, Jill...

-What a surprise(!)

..to put you on the spot like that,

and I'm sure you will know lots of the right answers,

but I'm afraid that is a wrong one.

Nice amalgam of the first two Beatles number ones.

Yes, Love Me Do and Please Please Me.

-It's also a very polite song as well, isn't it?

-Yeah!

-Love Me, PLEASE.

-Love me, please.

-Not Love Me Do - Love Me, Please.

I'd like to think it's Love Me, comma, Please.

Love Me, Please.

-Thank you... Very best.

-LAUGHTER

There we are. Well, we're halfway through the round.

Let's take a quick look at those scores.

25, the best score of the pass, Steve.

Well done. Steve and Vickie looking good.

Then 35, Paddy and Sean, then 100 for Jill and Bill.

Now, Bill, who knows what happens?

We've got a chamber pop-ist here

who might well, just for the sake of credibility,

pretend he doesn't know anything about ABBA.

So there might be 100 there - you never know.

Bill, we need a low score.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK. So, Bill, yes, any ABBA song from the musical Mamma Mia

that has been a Top 40 hit for ABBA.

Let's try Fernando.

Fernando, says Bill.

No red line for you as you're the high scorers.

Let's see how many people said Fernando.

Ooh!

OK, well, there we are. That's decisive.

That scores you 100 points,

takes your total up to 200.

I hope Benny and Bjorn aren't watching,

and the makers of the film as well. You both watched it.

Yeah, not in Mamma Mia, I'm afraid, although it is an ABBA song.

-Now, Sean...

-Yes.

-Listen, great news.

-Yeah.

-It doesn't matter what you score.

-Yeah!

You're still through.

But, who knows, you might have a good answer there, Sean.

Erm...I think it's called...Honey Honey.

-"I think it's called..."

-I don't know if it was a Top 40 single...

Listen, we'll find out. Honey Honey.

No red line for you - you're already through.

Let's see how many people said Honey Honey.

-Oh, no.

-Oh!

I'm afraid not. Scores you 100 points.

Takes your total up to 135.

Honey Honey.

Yeah, Honey Honey not a Top 40 hit, I'm afraid, for ABBA.

This is going very well, isn't it(?)

Isn't it(?) Is it not(?) LAUGHTER

-Now, Vickie...

-Yes.

-OK, there you are on 25.

Really doesn't matter what you score -

you're through, quite possibly as our low scorers,

into the head-to-head round.

I'm toying with several answers.

You've got Chiquitita, Voulez-Vous, Money, Money, Money...

..are the three that I'm thinking of. Erm...

-I'll say Voulez-Vous.

-Voulez-Vous, says Vickie.

No red line for you - you're already through.

Let's see how many people said Voulez-Vous.

Not bad at all.

Look at that. 13. Well done. APPLAUSE

The best score of the round by quite a way,

taking your total up to 38.

Making it look easy on podium one there, Vickie. Very well played.

There's no pointless answers at all. I'll go through the lowest scorers.

1 point each for Under Attack and One Of Us,

2 points for I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do.

5 points for I Have A Dream, 6 for Lay All Your Love On Me,

7 for Chiquitita - so it would've been a very good answer.

9 for Knowing Me, Knowing You.

You'd have got 10 for Does Your Mother Know,

10 also for Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!

11 for Take Your Chance On Me, SOS and The Name Of The Game -

all of those scored 11.

12 for Thank You For The Music, 13 for Super Trouper,

and Money, Money, Money would've scored you 16,

and we've heard all of the other answers.

Thanks very much, Richard.

So, at the end of our second round, I'm so sorry,

it is Jill and Bill who we have to say goodbye to

with their high score of 200.

It's been wonderful having you on both shows. I'm sorry you

never went beyond Round Two, though.

ALEXANDER SIGHS Jill, that was painful, wasn't it?

-It was very painful, yes.

-I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Well, thanks for playing, Jill and Bill.

-Lovely to have you on.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

But, for the remaining two pairs, is now time for our head-to-head.

Very well done, Vickie and Steve, Sean and Paddy,

you're now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot

which currently stands, still, at £1,000.

Well, you know the deal here -

you can start conferring before you give your answers,

first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Vickie and Steve, well done -

the only pair to get both answers right in the ABBA round,

so that was... You can hold your heads up high for that.

And, Sean and Paddy, well done, cos in the break between the rounds,

we listened to A Lovely War, to one of your tracks -

it was lovely. Fabulous.

Anyway, best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

Here comes your first question, and it concerns...

-TV Game Shows, hey?

-Yeah, absolutely.

We're going to show you a series of images now

which are visual clues to the names of five TV game shows.

Can you identify the most obscure?

These are always fun, these rounds.

Let's reveal our five visual clues, and here they come.

We've got...

There we are. Five visual clues to game shows.

Vickie and Steve, you've been our low scorers, so you will go first.

Feel free to confer.

-Countdown is B.

-Yeah.

-The Price Is Right is C.

-Yeah.

QI is D.

Let's go...let's go Treasure Hunt.

I think we'll go for E, please,

and we think that's Treasure Hunt.

Treasure Hunt, say Vickie and Steve. Treasure Hunt.

Now, Sean and Paddy, the board's all yours. Talk us through it.

So, we know D, which is QI.

Yeah. C is The Price Is Right.

A is Eggheads.

So we're thinking either

The Price Is Right or Eggheads.

Do you reckon? I reckon...

-We should go for C.

-..C.

We're going to go for C, The Price Is Right.

So, we have Treasure Hunt and we have The Price Is Right.

Vickie and Steve said Treasure Hunt.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it.

30.

APPLAUSE

30 for Treasure Hunt.

Now then, Sean and Paddy have gone for The Price Is Right.

Let's see if that's right for C, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

Look at that. HE CHUCKLES

The Price Is Right.

Katie Price scoring less than Jeremy Hunt - what about that?

And it means, Sean and Paddy, after one question, you're up one-nil.

Two good answers there.

There's one answer on the board that would've beaten both of them

which we'll get to - it's B, of course.

Now, A is Eggheads - it's the biggest scorer.

Would've scored you 63.

And D, of course, is QI.

I'm glad we're getting full use out of that queue picture.

We've had that before, haven't we? 56 for that. Yep.

Now, B is the best answer on the board. Do you know B?

-Countdown.

-Countdown. Yeah.

Very well played if you got that.

19 points.

When it was coming up, I was thinking..."Dracula Arrow?"

LAUGHTER

Thank you very much indeed. Here comes your second question.

Now, Vickie and Steve, you have to win this one to stay in the game,

so best of luck. It concerns...

-It concerns cattle. Richard.

-Nothing wrong with that.

We're going to show you five clues to facts about cattle.

You just need to give us the most obscure answer.

Let's reveal our five clues, and here they come. We've got...

I'll read those one last time.

There we are. Sean and Paddy will go first.

-THEY WHISPER:

-Shall we go for the Spain...

-Yeah.

..running of the bulls?

We're going to say the country

that hosts San Fermin's running of the bulls is Spain.

Spain, say Sean and Paddy. Spain.

Now then, Vickie and Steve.

-Shall we do Ermintrude in The Magic Roundabout?

-Yeah.

We're going to say Ermintrude from The Magic Roundabout.

Ermintrude from The Magic Roundabout.

So, we have Spain and Ermintrude.

Sean and Paddy said Spain. Let's see how many people said that.

59.

APPLAUSE

59 for Spain.

Vickie and Steve said Ermintrude. Let's see how many people said that.

Very well done.

43 for Ermintrude.

APPLAUSE

Which means, Vickie and Steve, you're back in the game.

-After two questions, it's 1-1.

-Very well played.

Now, the former Conservative Agricultural Minister was...?

-John Selwyn Gummer.

-John Selwyn Gummer - or John Gummer.

Would've scored you 6. The star sign...is...?

-Is Taurus.

-Taurus, yeah.

Would've scored you 87.

-And the Buckinghamshire town?

-I don't know.

-Is Milton Keynes.

-Oh, it's Milton Keynes.

-Milton Keynes.

Would've scored you 26.

There we are. Thank you very much indeed.

OK, here comes your third question.

Whoever wins this, goes through to the final

and plays for that jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs, and it concerns...

One-word anagrams of chemical elements. Richard.

Anagrams and chemical elements in the same question -

some people won't believe their luck.

-LAUGHTER

-We're going to show you five.

Just need to give us the most obscure answer you can.

Very, very best of luck to both teams.

OK, let's reveal our five anagrams, and here they come.

Vickie and Steve, you'll go first.

-Radon.

-Silver.

Radon. Barium.

Rhodium is the top one.

-Is that the one you want to go for?

-I think so.

OK, we're going to say humidor is rhodium.

Rhodium, say Vickie and Steve.

Now, Sean and Paddy, over to you.

Ergh...

We know that silver's one, but I think that'll be really high.

So shall we make one up?

Well, that one you think that might be one.

-Radon.

-OK, you're going to make up radon...

-Radon.

-..for adorn.

-Well, we're going to go radon.

-OK, radon.

So, we have rhodium and we have radon.

Vickie and Steve said rhodium.

Let's see how may people said rhodium.

Oh, well done. That's good.

18 for rhodium. Good.

APPLAUSE

Sean and Paddy, meanwhile, have gone for radon for adorn.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it.

45.

APPLAUSE

Which means very well done, Vickie and Steve.

After three questions, you are through to the final 2-1.

Brilliant work, Vicki and Steve. Very well played.

Chemistry textbooks will forever show that today was the day

that Sean and Paddy discovered radon.

LAUGHTER

Now, you were right about silver.

You were right to avoid it as well - it is a big scorer.

Would've scored you 74. Barium underneath that.

That would've scored you 31.

But the best answer on the board is the bottom one, ringtone.

-Do you know that?

-No!

It is... You'll kick yourself.

-..nitrogen.

-Oh, Lordy!

9 points. Very well done if you said that at home.

Thanks very much indeed.

So the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

I'm so sorry, Sean and Paddy.

Much, much stronger performance this time around from last time,

but just, yeah, I'm afraid...

Might you have gotten any of those lower scoring anagrams?

Nitrogen maybe.

-When you see them, you're like, "Oh..." But probably not.

-No.

Sean and Paddy might be the first people to be on Pointless

-and then come back on Celebrity Pointless.

-Exactly.

-Mightn't they?

-When A Lovely War suddenly takes off.

Well, listen, it's been great having you on.

We'll look forward to you on the Celebrity round.

In the meantime, thanks very much for playing.

Sean and Paddy.

APPLAUSE

But for Vickie and Steve, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Vickie and Steve.

You have fought off all the competition,

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

Now is your chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £1,000.

Well, it started off Round Two,

where you were the only couple to get correct answers

in the ABBA round,

then you came from behind in the head-to-head to win it 2-1.

I mean, very strong performance - very strong.

What would you like to see come up in this last round?

-Something film related.

-Yeah. Possibly sport.

OK. Film or sport.

Well, you know what happens. We put four up on the board.

They don't always look nice first time you see them,

but usually hiding behind them

are the three slightly kinder subsections.

But anyway, we will see. Today's selection looks like this.

We've got...

I'd either go cats or Spielberg.

-That's our options.

-Yeah.

-Spielberg?

-Go on, then. Yeah?

-Yeah. Spielberg World War II films.

-Spielberg World War II films, it is.

-OK, very best of luck.

Here's your three questions.

We're looking for any actor who's received a credit

according to IMDB in any of the following three films, please.

Very, very best of luck.

OK. Now, as always, you've got up to a minute

to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that jackpot

is for just one of your answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

-Yes.

-OK.

Let's put 60 seconds up on the clock. There they are.

Your time starts now.

OK. Schindler's List, it's obvious,

cos you've got Liam Neeson,

and you've got...

..Ralph Fiennes, but they're too obvious.

-Saving Private Ryan.

-You've got Ted Danson.

Oh, yeah, Ted Danson would be a good one. Erm...

Who's that...? Who's the guy...?

He's played bit parts in Friends.

He's a bit of

a geeky character. Erm...

Oh, I can't think what his name is.

I can picture him.

-Erm, wasn't Casey Affleck in Saving Private Ryan?

-Yeah.

-Pretty sure he was in.

-He was, yeah.

-Casey Affleck. Ted Danson.

I can't think of anybody from Empire Of The Sun.

-No. I can...

-I can see the film.

It's too long ago that I saw that.

Schindler's List. I'm trying

to think of some of those other...

10 seconds left.

-Ben...what's-his-name. Ben...

-Kingsley?

-Yeah.

-It's going to be really high, but...

-But...that's what we've got.

-Yep.

-Yeah.

-OK.

OK, that's your time up.

Let's have your three answers,

and if you can say which categories you're answering in.

So, from Schindler's List, we've got Ben Kingsley.

Ben Kingsley.

And then, from Saving Private Ryan,

-we've got Ted Danson...

-Ted Danson.

-..and Casey Affleck.

-Casey Affleck.

Of those, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Probably Casey Affleck.

-Casey Affleck. Let's put that last.

-Least likely to be pointless?

-Ben...Kingsley.

Ben Kingsley goes first.

OK, let's put those up on the board in that order, then,

and here they are. We've got...

Well, three good answers there.

Let's hope one of those will win that jackpot for you.

What would you do with your £1,000 if you won it?

Vickie, to you first.

I'd take my daughter to EuroDisney.

Steve?

I think I'd go camel racing.

LAUGHTER

In whatever it is, 950 episodes of Pointless,

-no-one's yet said that - that's great.

-You know what?

There's no way you'll beat a camel - they're pretty quick.

-LAUGHTER

-Yeah.

-OK.

So, yes, in the first instance,

we were looking for actors from Schindler's List.

You've gone for Ben Kingsley.

It has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot.

So, for £1,000, let's see how many of our 100 people said Ben Kingsley.

It's right.

If this goes all the way down to zero,

you will leave here with £1,000.

Ben Kingsley now taking us

down through the teens...

Not quite into single figures.

12 for Ben Kingsley. APPLAUSE

-That was lower than I thought.

-It was lower than I thought.

So, unfortunately not a pointless answer.

You only have two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your next answer was Ted Danson.

In this case we were looking for actors from Saving Private Ryan.

It has to be pointless, again, for you to win the jackpot.

So, for £1,000, let's see how many people said Ted Danson.

It's also right.

Your first answer was Ben Kingsley

which took us down to 12.

Ted Danson now taking us down

through the 20s,

into the teens, into single figures.

Passing 12 there. Down it goes.

Still going down.

You got it! Very well done indeed.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Fabulous. Very well done indeed.

-Thank you so much.

Brilliant. Brilliant, brilliant.

-SHE CHUCKLES

-Wow. That was amazing.

Well done, you. Ted Danson was a pointless answer,

which means you are going home with today's jackpot of £1,000.

-Superb.

-Ooh!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Terrific stuff, Vickie and Steve. Very well played.

Yeah, plays Captain Hamill in that film.

The Friends actor you were thinking of was Giovanni Ribisi...

-That's him.

-..who would've scored you 1 point.

-Oh!

Casey Affleck - not in the film,

so would've been an incorrect answer, I'm afraid.

So, well done, Ted Danson - is all I have to say.

Let's take a look at the pointless answers for the different films.

Schindler's List, you could've had...

Everybody in that film was pointless

other than Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes and Ben Kingsley.

Every single other answer was pointless.

Let's take a look at Empire Of The Sun.

Burt Kwouk.

Pointless favourite at the moment, Burt - keeps popping up.

Everyone pointless there apart from Christian Bale, the biggest scorer,

John Malkovich, Nigel Havers, Miranda Richardson,

Ben Stiller and Leslie Phillips -

everyone else pointless.

And finally, Saving Private Ryan.

Andrew Scott, of course, is Moriarty in Sherlock,

Bryan Cranston from Breaking Bad, Paul Giamatti is a pointless answer.

There's Ted Danson.

Everyone pointless in that other than Tom Hanks, Matt Damon,

Vin Diesel, Jeremy Davies, Ian Porter, Adam Goldberg,

Giovanni Ribisi, Tom Sizemore and Nathan Fillion.

Very well done if you got a pointless answer at home,

and congratulations, Vickie and Steve in the studio.

Thanks very much indeed.

Well, thanks once again to our winning players, Vickie and Steve,

who go away with today's jackpot of £1,000.

Very well done indeed.

APPLAUSE

Join us next time when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge

to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.