Episode 2 Pointless

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thanks very much indeed. I'm Alexander Armstrong

and welcome to Pointless.

This is the show where all the questions have been asked to 100

people before the show and all our contestants have to do is come up

with the answers that no-one else could think of.

Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hi, I'm Katie and this is my dad, John, and we're from Staines.

-Couple number two.

-Hi, I'm Alex and this is my girlfriend, Zoe.

She's from Swansea and I'm from Brighton.

-Couple number three.

-Hello, my name's Clint,

this is my son Colm and we're from Reigate in Surrey.

Finally, couple number four.

My name's Hannah, this is my friend Chris. I'm from Lichfield

and Chris is from Walsall.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much. We'll find out more about each of you

during the show as it goes along.

That just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

Pulling the rug from under our collective certainty with deft but

beautifully manicured fingers, it's my Pointless friend -

-it's Richard.

-Hi.

Hi, everybody.

Good afternoon. Good afternoon to you.

-And to you.

-What a show we had last time.

Barbara and Ann - we've got a couple of pairs who were on that show,

so they'll tell you - they were fantastic.

Brilliant contestants all the way through, super-smart.

Then in the jackpot round,

they had to name songs

and it was songs of bands they didn't really know...

-No.

-..is the truth.

And their final answer was Alexander and Richard Sing The Smurfs.

-By The White Stripes.

-By The White Stripes.

Unbelievably, it was not a pointless answer.

Extraordinary, isn't it?

They were fantastic throughout. Just got tripped up at the end.

So, good news - the jackpot's slightly higher.

Those two pairs who are coming back -

Alex and Zoe got knocked out in Round Two, welcome back.

Clint and Colm got knocked out in Round One, quite unfortunately

I think, last time. Hopefully we'll see an awful lot more of them today.

Thanks very much, Richard. Barbara and Ann didn't win

the jackpot last time, which means we add another £1,000.

Today's jackpot starts off at £2,000.

There we are.

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

All you have to remember is this -

the pair with the highest score at the end of each round will be

eliminated. That's it.

That's the only rule. No conferring in the first round.

Best of luck to all four pairs.

Our first category this afternoon is...

FA Cup Football.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first and second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many teams in

the third round of the FA Cup in 2016 as they could.

Teams in the third round of the FA Cup 2016. Richard.

We're looking for any team who played in the third round proper

of the FA Cup. Those were the ties played in January 2016.

Any teams in the third round proper of the FA Cup.

-Very best of luck.

-There we are. Very best of luck indeed.

John, welcome to the show.

Great to have you here from Staines.

What keeps you busy in Staines?

-Nothing.

-That's nice.

-I retired years ago.

-What did you do before you retired?

Before I retired, I worked for one of the large utility companies

in retail sales.

Took early retirement 20 years ago.

-So I've been sort of...

-20 years ago.

..loafing about for 20 years.

What kind of loafing?

I do a bit of gardening for people.

I keep my hand in, do a bit of gardening.

Play the drums in a couple of bands.

That would do it. Very good.

-Play the drums. Into classic cars.

-Good stuff. Now, John, football.

How up to speed are you?

Something tells me Katie is not completely happy with this.

Of all the things. It's just no, but...

It'll be fine. It'll be fine.

-John.

-The mighty Watford.

Also sometimes known as Watford.

Let's see what our 100 people make of that.

Watford.

Oh, that's a great answer. Look at that.

10. Look at that. What a start to the show.

Very well done indeed. 10.

Nice start, John. I assume you're a Watford fan.

I was just about to tell you who they played in the third round

and then I realised that was a valid answer as well, so I won't.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. Alex, welcome back.

Remind us what you do, Alex.

-I'm a secondary school science teacher.

-In Brighton.

Last time, you and Zoe introduced yourselves as from Brighton.

This time I've noticed you've introduced Zoe as from Swansea.

What has happened? LAUGHTER

I was the one that did it last time.

I made a mistake. I think I panicked.

OK, OK. Which would you like to be - officially Swansea?

-Swansea, definitely.

-Swansea, definitely and officially.

Now, Alex, what are you going to go for?

I've thought of a few but I'm going to go with Reading.

Reading. Let's see how many of our 100 people said Reading.

Well, 10 is the only score on the board so far.

You've passed it!

3 for Reading.

-Very well done indeed. 3.

-Well played, Alex.

Watford - 10, Reading - 3.

That's a game.

Thanks very much, Richard.

-Clint, welcome back.

-Hello.

-It was Round One last time.

-Yes, unfortunately.

Unfortunately, it was. It can sometimes be tough on that

last podium, sometimes it can be excellent.

Clint, remind us what you do.

I'm a property developer -

buy land, build houses.

Oh, that's what they do! Oh, right.

-Construction work.

-Construction work - that's fun.

And you see it all through from the purchase of land.

Right the way through, planning, everything, architect, design.

Then you do all the showing around show homes, that sort of thing?

I don't. But the estate agents do.

Very good, so the buyers will come back to you

if they ever have any complaints, which I'm sure they don't?

I've moved by then.

That's much as I thought.

You are a property developer. Clint, what would you like to go for?

I'd like to go for Shrewsbury, please.

Shrewsbury, says Clint.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

10 is our high score, 3 is our low.

13.

Which, coincidentally, is the sum of 10 and 3.

This is just extraordinary.

Shrewsbury Town, they had quite a famous FA Cup run in that,

which is why they scored 13.

Thanks very much indeed.

Now then, Chris. Welcome to Pointless.

Good to have you here. What do you do, Chris?

I'm head of media at a football club.

What about that? LAUGHTER

What about that?

Are you through to the third round of the FA Cup?

Yeah, just about. Yeah.

I can ask you about that, I suppose,

but maybe it's not the answer you want to give,

-in which case, I'd better not.

-If it is the answer he wants to give,

it suggests that his team is very obscure

-and he's not doing a good job.

-LAUGHTER

So if he thinks he's good at his job, he can't give it as an answer.

That's good. That's a catch-22!

The moment of truth, Chris - what are you going to go for?

Wycombe Wanderers.

Wycombe Wanderers, very close to Reading, of course.

-Is that where you work?

-No.

I'm trying to work out if that's good for his job prospects or not.

Let's find out, is it is good for your Pointless prospects?

Wycombe Wanderers - how many of our 100 people said that?

I think we're going to be heading towards

the 3-ish end of the spectrum.

3 for Reading. Wycombe Wanderers - 6.

Not bad at all.

Very impressive low-scoring round so far, I have to say.

I really, really want to know what club you do media on.

We'll find out at the end and see what they scored.

Thanks. We're halfway through the round -

let's take a look at those scores. 3, well done, Alex.

A very good low score.

Then we travel up to 6. Well done, Chris.

Then up to 10, where we find John and Katie.

And then up to 13. A very tight grouping.

Clint and Colm, you're ahead, not by much.

-Just you are ahead, so, Colm...

-Pressure's on.

We're thinking Reading sort of level.

That is the kind of scoring we want from you.

Best of luck. We're going to come back down the line now.

Please will the second player step up to the podium?

Marvellous. So, Hannah, remember we're looking for any of the 64

teams that took part in the third round of the FA Cup 2016.

Hannah, what do you do?

I work for two different charities.

I'm a charity consultant. So I work for two charities and we use

cricket, really, as our kind of medium to raise awareness

about sports issues and health issues as well.

Excellent, and how do you and Chris know each other?

Chris, before he worked at the football club which he works for

now, used to write for one of the local papers about the club,

and I'm a massive fan of that club.

We followed each other on Twitter

and then we had lots of mutual friends that

-we knew through school as well. So that's how...

-That's nice.

So, football. I wonder if you're going to go for that club.

I'm not, I think I'll go for Bristol City.

Bristol City is what you are going to go for.

There you are.

OK, Bristol City.

There is your red line. Low.

If you get below that, you are through to the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Bristol City.

Yes, 3! Another 3!

Taking your total up to 9.

Good job, Hannah.

Well played, Hannah. Nice low-scoring round, this.

-Now, Colm, welcome back.

-Yes. Hiya.

Remind us what you do, Colm.

I'm a graphic designer.

I'm studying graphic design at Southampton Solent at the moment.

Do you do placements at all for companies in your last year?

Yes, in your third year you look for somewhere, a firm to work for.

Well, it's suggested that you do

because you really need to get that foot in the door.

Now, what are you going to go for?

I'm a little bit nervous because it's the last round

but I'm going to go for Crystal Palace.

Crystal Palace. Crystal Palace. You are on 13,

you are the high-scorers, so it has to be a low score for you.

Remember, though, there is Katie,

who doesn't look happy with this round,

so I'm just putting it out there - don't despair.

Let's see how far down the column we get with Crystal Palace.

Not bad!

Really not bad. 7, look at that!

Takes your total up to 20.

Just the 7 points. Interesting that Shrewsbury's still

very much the biggest scorer in this round.

That's what happens in the FA Cup sometimes -

the smaller clubs who do well, they're the ones you remember.

Thank you, Richard.

Now, Zoe, remind us what you do, Zoe from Swansea.

I'm a pharmacy student at Brighton.

And what do you get up to when you're not studying?

I like to bake.

I like to socialise with friends, obviously with Alex as well.

And I like to go rock climbing sometimes.

And football - how are we feeling about football,

the FA Cup in particular?

I know some teams but I'm not very strong on it.

OK, have you got an answer?

I was thinking maybe Durham.

OK. Durham, says Zoe. Durham.

Here is your red line. If you can get below this red line with Durham

you are through to the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Durham.

I'm sorry, Zoe, an incorrect answer

and it scores you 100 points. Takes your total

-to 103 but the round is not yet over.

-Sorry, Zoe, not a league team,

also not a strong non-league team either, Durham.

Bad luck. Now, Katie, that has eased pressure a little bit.

A tad! A little bit.

Now, Katie, what do you do?

I'm an actor/sales assistant.

Actor/sales assistant.

-What sort of acting do you do?

-Theatre is my main...

Theatre, I see.

And between acting parts, you assist sales? Whereabouts?

In a luxury toiletries company.

-The best kind of company.

-Where else would you want to work?

-Where else?

-Katie, what are you going to go for?

I'm going to go with Liverpool.

OK, Liverpool. Here is your red line.

Quite high.

Get below that with Liverpool, through you go to Round Two.

-Oh, yeah... Oh.

-What's wrong?

Oh, it might be quite high, mightn't it? Or wrong.

Or wrong. Let's find out.

How many of our 100 people said Liverpool? Is it right?

Look at that. Through you go to Round Two.

Oh! There you go. 52.

62 is your total.

Well done, Katie, the second biggest scorer of all, Liverpool,

but it's all you had to do, so very well done.

Zoe, tell us the two places you've told us you're from.

I'm from Swansea.

Which would have scored you 6 points.

-And where do you study?

-Brighton.

Which would have scored you 1 point.

Chris, what team do you work for?

West Bromwich Albion.

Would have scored you 15 points, so you avoided them wisely.

And where do you live?

-Walsall.

-Pointless answer.

Pointless answer, Walsall.

Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers.

Very well done if you said any of these.

Exeter City, who played Liverpool.

Those are all the pointless answers.

Very well done if you said one of those.

Let's take a look at the top three.

There we are. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

At the end of our first round,

the pair heading home with their high score of 103, I'm sorry,

Alex and Zoe. For a moment,

you were set fair for the head-to-head and beyond,

but I'm afraid it's Round One this time.

We have to say goodbye. It's been great having you on.

Thanks very much for playing, Zoe and Alex.

APPLAUSE

But, for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

So we're now down to three pairs. At the end of this round,

we'll have to say goodbye to another pair.

Katie, it's fine. It's absolutely fine.

The mighty Watford carried you through. It's all perfect.

Far podium there, Chris and Hannah, hats off to you.

Lovely low scoring there.

And Shrewsbury and Crystal Palace, not bad, so there we are.

Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two today is...

Quartets. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Famous Fours, Richard.

It doesn't add a great deal to Quartet, to be fair!

It's a nice one, this, so we're going to show you now on each board

six groups of famous foursomes.

We've missed one name out of each of those foursomes.

Can you tell us who that is, please?

The more obscure your answer, the fewer the points.

There's going to be 12 foursomes in all to have a go at at home.

We've missed out one from each of these foursomes -

can you fill them in?

OK, so we're looking for the missing quarter of these quartets.

And here is our first list.

I'm going to read all those again.

There we are. Katie. Fun.

-Yeah.

-Fun.

-This is a good one.

It is a good one.

Which of those would you like to go for?

I'm going to go for main characters in Sex And The City

and I'm going to say Charlotte.

Charlotte, says Katie.

Let's see how many of our 100 people agree with Katie. Charlotte.

It's right.

Look at that, 9!

Not bad at all.

9 for Charlotte.

Nice start, Katie, very good answer. A great series.

Have you seen the Sex And The City film where they are in the desert?

-I haven't seen it.

-Really stinks the place out.

-It's a bad film.

-It's a great film!

-What, the one where they're in the desert and all that?

-Top quality.

-I haven't seen it.

-It's one of those you have to keep watching

because you think, "Come on!"

It's worth watching.

I'll hunt it down. Clint.

What would you like to go for?

Yes, try and get a low score.

I know quite a few of them.

I'm going to go for the French Open

as part of Australian Open, Wimbledon and US.

OK, the French Open. Let's see if that's right

and how many of our 100 people said the French Open.

It's right.

54.

54! Being punished by high scores, Clint.

54 for the French Open.

But it's absolutely the right answer,

the only Grand Slam tournament played on clay, the French Open.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Now, Hannah, this board is all yours.

Would you like to talk us through them all and fill in all the blanks?

I've got an eight-year-old son at home who is screaming the bottom

answer that me and I cannot for the life of me think what the missing

Ninja Turtle is.

I think I'll go for the top one,

which is The Temple Of Doom,

Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom.

Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom, says Hannah.

Let's see if it's right and how many of our 100 people said it.

23!

23, not bad!

Well played, Hannah.

Everything still to play for in the second pass.

Shall we fill in this board?

The faces on Mount Rushmore,

probably the most famous president not on there.

-Lincoln.

-Abe Lincoln.

Would have scored 19.

Do you know this next one?

I'm thinking clubs.

It is clubs. It's a fairly big score, 91 points.

Now this last one, it is the most obscure of the Ninja Turtles.

-Donatello.

-Do you know that one?

Donatello.

That would have scored 21 points.

The best answer on the board by a mile, Katie, is Charlotte.

Who'd have thought Sex And The City

was what would get you through Pointless?

See, it's not a waste of time.

Not a waste of time. Nothing is a waste of time.

OK, let's take a look at the scores. Halfway through the round.

9 is the best score of the pass.

Katie and John looking very strong at this point.

We then travel up to 23 -

their nearest rivals are Hannah and Chris on the far podium.

And then up to 54.

Clint and Colm, once again it's a high score.

Colm, you've got to pull it out of the bag this time.

We need a low, low score.

Best of luck with that. We'll come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put six more famous quartets up on the board.

And here they come.

I'm going to read those all one last time.

There we go. Chris, it's over to you.

I know three or four of those.

Not sure which one will be the lowest.

I'm going to go with

Murdock, The A-Team character.

Of course, there you are. 23. Here is your red line.

Get below that with Murdock and through you go to the next round.

How many people said Murdock?

Very well done, Chris.

Look at that, 19! Perfect.

Perfect, perfect! 42 is your total.

Well played, Chris. Howling Mad Murdock.

I used to love The A-Team.

Famously, no-one ever died in The A-Team.

-No-one ever gets very hurt in The A-Team.

-No.

A lot of welding.

A lot of welding. A lot of welding.

-Always a sort of tank that comes out.

-Yeah, yeah.

-Good.

-Colm, you're on 54. You're still the high-scorers.

-I was going to go with Murdock and now I'm torn between two.

-Ouch.

I'm going to pick it from the top category and say Ravenclaw.

OK. Ravenclaw, says Colm.

You're getting a nod from Hannah behind.

No red line. You're our high-scorers.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Ravenclaw.

It's right.

Still going down, Colm, still going down.

17. Not bad.

Taking your total up to 71.

Well played, Colm.

Harry Potter fans will be furious that only scored 17, won't they?

-Would you have got it?

-No, I wouldn't have got that.

But you'd get Hufflepuff and you'd get...

Those other three are much more well-known.

I think I'd probably only have got Gryffindor and Slytherin.

Now, John, you are on 9.

Katie has set you up beautifully.

This board is all yours - talk us through it.

I'd love to.

Europa, I've got no idea.

Spring, summer, autumn and winter.

Strings, percussion, woodwind and brass, sections of an orchestra.

And Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy at the bottom.

Lowest score, brass.

Brass section of the orchestra.

It's probably the one to go for. Here is your red line.

If you can get below that with brass, you're into the head-to-head.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said brass.

Through you go!

54!

Not bad at all.

Takes your total up to 63.

Well done, John. Of the three you knew that's the only one that would've

got you through. So, well done.

That's thanks to Katie's very low score in the first round.

Do you know Jupiter's moons?

Do I hell.

LAUGHTER

It is Ganymede.

Ganymede is the other one.

It's the best answer there, 6 points.

Spring, summer, BLANK and winter - what did you think this would score?

-The answer is autumn.

-It is autumn.

I know, it's like...

I was going to say August, but no.

I'll tell you what it scored - it scored 85.

Excuse me just one moment!

-And the bottom one.

-Tinker.

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy. Of course it is.

64 points.

You know that dating site, Uniform Dating?

I always think they should have an app for that called

Tinder, Tailor, Soldier, Spy.

LAUGHTER

Thanks, Richard. At the end of our second round,

the pair who are heading home with their high score of 71,

it's Colm and Clint. I'm so sorry. You've never seen...

It's beautiful, the head-to-head.

It's amazing! Anyway, I'm sorry you didn't get to see it.

It's been great having you on both shows.

Thank you very much for playing, Colm and Chris, great contestants.

APPLAUSE

But, for Chris and Hannah, Katie and John,

it's time for the head-to-head.

Congratulations, Chris and Hannah, Katie and John,

you are now one step closer to the final and a chance to play for

our jackpot, which currently stands at £2,000.

You know the deal. The big thing is you are now allowed to confer,

which is marvellous. The first player to win two questions

will be playing for that jackpot.

You've seen off our two returning pairs, so very well done indeed.

Great low-scoring from each pair, I think this should be pretty close.

Best of luck to you, let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question and it concerns...

-We are getting well classy, aren't we?

-Innit.

-Innit.

We're going to show you five pictures now of people who have been

Poet Laureate, we are also going to show you their initials.

Can you name the most obscure of these five, please?

Thank you very much indeed. Let's reveal our five Poets Laureate.

And here they are.

There we are. Chris and Hannah, you've been our

low scorers throughout the show so you will go first.

INDISTINCT CONFERRING

OK, So we're going to go fairly safe and go for D,

and go for John Betjeman.

John Betjeman you're saying for D, John Betjeman.

Now, Katie and John, do you want to talk us through all of those poets?

-I don't know A, do you know A?

-No.

B, Carol Ann Duffy,

C, William Wordsworth,

and E, Robert Browning, apparently.

I'm going to go with B, Carol Ann Duffy.

Carol Ann Duffy you're going to go for.

So we have John Betjeman and we have Carol Ann Duffy.

Chris and Hannah went for John Betjeman for D,

let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

37.

37 for John Betjeman.

Katie and John, meanwhile, have gone for Carol Ann Duffy for B.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said that.

It's right.

Very well done, wins you the point.

15, Carol Ann Duffy, which means,

Katie and John, after one question, you are up 1-0.

-Very well done.

-Very well played.

I don't think either team knew A,

but A is Cecil Day-Lewis. Very famous surname,

18 points for that.

C, you are quite right, is William Wordsworth.

He would have scored you 71 points.

Now, E, if I tell you E is a pointless answer.

It was Robert Bridges.

Robert Bridges, very well played if you said that at home.

OK, thanks very much indeed. Here comes your second question.

Katie and John, you get to answer it first, but, Chris and Hannah,

you have to score to stay in the game so very best of luck.

Our second question is all about...

Fictional rodents, Richard.

This is more our speed, isn't it?

We're going to give you five clues now to famous fictional rodents,

can you name the most obscure of these?

There we are. Here come our five clues.

We have got...

I'll read all those one last time.

Katie and John will go first.

The bottom one is Roland Rat.

INDISTINCT CONFERRING

We're going to go for the bottom one

and we think that's probably Roland Rat.

Roland Rat.

Now, Chris and Hannah, it's over to you,

what are you going to go for?

The bespectacled hamster who act as an assistant to Danger Mouse,

-Penfold.

-Penfold, say Chris and Hannah.

So we have Roland Rat and we have Penfold.

Katie and John said Roland Rat,

let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

66 for Roland Rat.

Chris and Hannah, meanwhile, have gone for Penfold.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

And it wins you the point,

you're back in the game. Well done.

39 for Penfold.

Which means, after two questions, it's 1-1.

The top two scorers on the board, those two.

Are you doing any more of your lovely new Danger Mouse?

-Oh, yes.

-That's good.

-They're coming back for more.

-You are very good in it.

Thank you very much. You're in it as well, of course.

-Very, very briefly.

-It's enough!

No, I mean... LAUGHTER

No, I mean it's...it's enough to mean that you are in it,

is what I mean.

That sounds awful! That's... HE LAUGHS

-Goodness me.

-Yeah.

The acorn-obsessed squirrel, his name is Scrat,

that would have scored 14 points. Well done if you said that.

The water vole is Ratty, it should be Voley, really.

It would have scored 36.

And the other chipmunk is Theodore.

Theodore would have scored you 30 points.

There we are, thank you very much indeed.

It all comes down to a third question, this is the decider.

Whoever wins this one goes through to the final

and plays for that £2,000 jackpot.

Our third question today is all about...

Things found in the bedroom.

Somehow, THE bedroom sounds a lot more saucy than A bedroom.

Things found in a bedroom.

We are going to show you five anagrams now of things

you might traditionally find in a bedroom.

Be very careful with your anagrams.

You just need to give us the most obscure of these answers, please.

Whoever does is going through to play for the jackpot,

-so very best of luck to both teams.

-OK, thanks very much indeed.

Let's find out what our five clues are.

Here they come. Our five anagrams read thus.

So, Chris and Hannah will go first.

-Mattress.

-Mattress.

INDISTINCT CONFERRING

OK, REHAB DADO.

And we think that is headboard.

Headboard, say Chris and Hannah.

Katie and John.

Top one, mattress.

Second one down, duvet.

-Second to last...

-Lamp.

-That's the one.

-And lastly...

-Bunk bed.

Think we're going to go with mattress.

OK, mattress.

We have headboard and we have mattress.

Headboard first, Chris and Hannah said,

let's see how many of our 100 people said headboard.

It's right.

12.

Now then, Katie and John, meanwhile, have gone for a mattress.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

Oh, it's going...

19.

19 for mattress.

But very well done, Chris and Hannah.

You have won 2-1,

which means you are straight through to the final.

-Very well done.

-Brilliant work from both pairs,

the best two answers you could have given.

Nothing you could have done cos 12 is the best score.

Terrific work from everybody.

Let's take a look at the scores for the others.

Duvet would have scored 79.

Lamp would have scored 89.

And bunk bed,

a big scorer, would have scored you 68.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

The pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

I'm afraid, Katie and John. It's good news,

it means we get to see you again next time,

which is great, but you have done a fantastic job the whole way through.

The mighty Watford, that has now stuck.

I'm not quite sure why I'm saying that, but we look forward to seeing

you again next time, Katie and John.

APPLAUSE

For Chris and Hannah,

it is now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Chris and Hannah,

you have seen off all the competition and you have won

our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have the chance to win our Pointless jackpot

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £2,000.

But what a great performance. I mean, really strong.

Lowest scorers in the first round, lowest scorers in the second round.

You then came from behind in the head-to-head round to win it 2-1

and here you are, fantastic.

Fantastic! Anything you'd particularly love to see coming up?

I know the answer before I ask.

-Football would be good.

-Sport.

-Politics.

-Musical theatre.

As always, first you have to choose a category

and there will be four options to choose from.

Who knows what today's will look like?

Perhaps something a bit like this.

-You're very good with cricket, aren't you?

-I am, but...

Test cricket records, that could be...

I'd rule out the bottom two, unless you know something about Russia.

No, nothing.

-Cricket.

-Shall we go with that?

You're going to go for Test cricket records.

-England Test cricket records.

-Right you are.

Took a very long time to zone in on cricket for someone who

-works for the cricket charities.

-Yeah.

I don't want to embarrass myself, that's the problem!

Probably best to go for Russia, you know, rather than...

Very best of luck. I hope one of these suits you.

I suspect it will, but we shall see.

We are looking for...

Any of the 50 people who have scored the most Test runs for the

England men's cricket team

up to the end of January 2016.

So the 50 highest run scorers for England.

We are looking for the 50 highest Test wicket takers for the

England men's team as well.

Or we are looking for the 50 highest scorers against England,

the most runs against England.

So, 50 scorers of the most Test runs,

50 takers of the most Test wickets

50 most Test runs against England.

Hopefully that suits you down to the ground.

Very, very best of luck.

As always, you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers

and all you need to win that jackpot

is for just one of those answers to be pointless. Are you ready?

60 seconds up on the board.

There they are. Your time starts now.

Test runs against England.

Brian Lara.

Don Bradman.

Michael Clarke maybe.

Test wickets for England.

INDISTINCT CONFERRING

Test wickets for England, obviously Ian Botham.

Matthew Hoggard.

-Test runs for England would be Kevin...

-Pietersen.

Strauss?

Andrew Strauss.

There's all kinds of recent players, I'm trying to think back.

-Boycott.

-Geoffrey Boycott.

INDISTINCT CONFERRING

Ten seconds left.

OK, so I think we go for Test wickets.

I don't know, what do you want to do?

I'm with you on this one. You know best about cricket.

OK, that is your time up. I now need your three answers.

Which three answers are you going to give me and in which categories?

Test wickets for England, we're going to say Bob Willey.

Bob Willey.

Test runs against England, Don Bradman.

Don Bradman.

And Test wickets for England, Matthew Hoggard.

Matthew Hoggard. Of those three,

which is your best shot at a pointless answer, do you think?

Probably Matthew Hoggard.

Matthew Hoggard goes last. Least likely to be pointless?

-Don Bradman.

-Don Bradman we put first.

Let's put those answers up on the board in that order then

and here they are.

We've got Don Bradman,

we've got Bob Willey and we've got Matthew Hoggard.

Well, very, very best of luck.

Now, if one of these answers happens to be pointless and you won that

jackpot of 2,000 quid, what would you do with that?

Chris, you go first.

I'd probably treat my little girl to something nice.

Take her away somewhere, I think.

I thought you said a take away somewhere and I was thinking,

"Yeah, that would be nice!"

She does like takeaways.

-Maybe treat her to one of those as well.

-Very good.

-Hannah, how about you?

-We're just in the process of buying a new house,

so it would help with some of the moving costs, that would be great.

Very, very best of luck, three very good answers.

In the first case, we were looking for Test runs against England

and you have named Don Bradman. Let's find out if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people came up with Don Bradman.

This for a jackpot win of £2,000.

Don Bradman is right,

all it has to be now is pointless.

Down it goes through the 60s and the 50s,

into the 40s,

down through the 30s and the 20s, into the teens.

Into single figures, down it goes, still going down.

4.

4 for Don Bradman.

It's a great answer, first answer as well.

Two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your next answer was Bob Willey.

In this case, we were looking for

people who took Test wickets for England.

If this is right and it's pointless,

it will win you the jackpot of £2,000.

How many of our 100 people said Bob Willey?

Incorrect. An incorrect answer,

which means everything is now riding on your third and final answer.

In this case, we were looking for Test wickets for England,

you've gone for Matthew Hoggard. To win the jackpot,

obviously it has to be a pointless answer.

Let's see. For £2,000, how many said Matthew Hoggard?

It's right.

Your first answer, Don Bradman, scored 4.

Your second answer, Bob Willey, was wrong,

but Matthew Hoggard now taking us into single figures,

down it goes, still going...

1!

APPLAUSE

1. I have to say, your two correct answers, wonderful low scores.

I'm afraid you didn't manage find that Holy Grail,

the pointless answer.

I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £2,000.

That will roll over on to the next show.

But what a great performance.

So much to be proud of on the show today.

You get to take home a Pointless trophy in recognition of that.

So, very well done. Chris and Hannah!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

That was very, very close indeed, very unlucky.

Bob Willey, you're mixing up Bob Willis,

who would have scored 8 points, and Peter Willey. Different people.

During your 60 seconds, I know 60 seconds is not very much,

but you did mention a pointless answer and that was Andrew Strauss,

who would have won you £2,000.

There's all sorts of big names on these lists.

Let's take a look at the Test runs for England.

There's a few names.

You could have had Alan Knott, Dennis Amiss, Derek Randall,

Tom Graveney, Wally Hammond. Some great names on that list.

Let's take a look at the Test wickets for England.

Three spinners here.

Also you could have had Andy Caddick, Ashley Giles, Chris Lewis,

Chris Old. All sorts of names on that list.

Neil Foster, Phil DeFreitas. And Test runs against England.

Big names on all of these lists.

You could have had Desmond Haynes, Justin Langham, Rahul Dravid.

All sorts of pointless answers. Very well done if you got one at home.

1 point is an unlucky way to lose

and you've been terrific throughout as well.

-Sorry we couldn't give you the money.

-I know, thank you.

-Thank you.

Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to you,

Chris and Hannah, but it's been wonderful having you on the show.

Thank you so much for playing. Chris and Hannah, everyone!

APPLAUSE

Very sadly, they didn't win our jackpot today

which means it rolls over on to the next show

when we will be playing for £3,000.

Join us to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.