Episode 2 Pointless


Episode 2

Quiz in which contestants try to score as few points as possible by plumbing the depths of their general knowledge to come up with the answers no-one else can think of.


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Transcript


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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Thanks very much indeed. I'm Alexander Armstrong

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and welcome to Pointless.

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This is the show where all the questions have been asked to 100

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people before the show and all our contestants have to do is come up

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with the answers that no-one else could think of.

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Let's meet today's players.

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And couple number one.

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Hi, I'm Katie and this is my dad, John, and we're from Staines.

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-Couple number two.

-Hi, I'm Alex and this is my girlfriend, Zoe.

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She's from Swansea and I'm from Brighton.

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-Couple number three.

-Hello, my name's Clint,

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this is my son Colm and we're from Reigate in Surrey.

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Finally, couple number four.

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My name's Hannah, this is my friend Chris. I'm from Lichfield

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and Chris is from Walsall.

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And these are today's contestants.

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APPLAUSE

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Thanks very much. We'll find out more about each of you

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during the show as it goes along.

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That just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

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Pulling the rug from under our collective certainty with deft but

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beautifully manicured fingers, it's my Pointless friend -

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-it's Richard.

-Hi.

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Hi, everybody.

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Good afternoon. Good afternoon to you.

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-And to you.

-What a show we had last time.

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Barbara and Ann - we've got a couple of pairs who were on that show,

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so they'll tell you - they were fantastic.

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Brilliant contestants all the way through, super-smart.

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Then in the jackpot round,

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they had to name songs

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and it was songs of bands they didn't really know...

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-No.

-..is the truth.

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And their final answer was Alexander and Richard Sing The Smurfs.

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-By The White Stripes.

-By The White Stripes.

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Unbelievably, it was not a pointless answer.

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Extraordinary, isn't it?

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They were fantastic throughout. Just got tripped up at the end.

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So, good news - the jackpot's slightly higher.

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Those two pairs who are coming back -

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Alex and Zoe got knocked out in Round Two, welcome back.

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Clint and Colm got knocked out in Round One, quite unfortunately

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I think, last time. Hopefully we'll see an awful lot more of them today.

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Thanks very much, Richard. Barbara and Ann didn't win

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the jackpot last time, which means we add another £1,000.

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Today's jackpot starts off at £2,000.

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There we are.

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Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

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All you have to remember is this -

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the pair with the highest score at the end of each round will be

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eliminated. That's it.

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That's the only rule. No conferring in the first round.

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Best of luck to all four pairs.

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Our first category this afternoon is...

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FA Cup Football.

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Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first and second.

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And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

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OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

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We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many teams in

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the third round of the FA Cup in 2016 as they could.

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Teams in the third round of the FA Cup 2016. Richard.

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We're looking for any team who played in the third round proper

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of the FA Cup. Those were the ties played in January 2016.

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Any teams in the third round proper of the FA Cup.

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-Very best of luck.

-There we are. Very best of luck indeed.

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John, welcome to the show.

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Great to have you here from Staines.

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What keeps you busy in Staines?

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-Nothing.

-That's nice.

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-I retired years ago.

-What did you do before you retired?

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Before I retired, I worked for one of the large utility companies

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in retail sales.

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Took early retirement 20 years ago.

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-So I've been sort of...

-20 years ago.

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..loafing about for 20 years.

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What kind of loafing?

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I do a bit of gardening for people.

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I keep my hand in, do a bit of gardening.

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Play the drums in a couple of bands.

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That would do it. Very good.

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-Play the drums. Into classic cars.

-Good stuff. Now, John, football.

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How up to speed are you?

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Something tells me Katie is not completely happy with this.

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Of all the things. It's just no, but...

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It'll be fine. It'll be fine.

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-John.

-The mighty Watford.

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Also sometimes known as Watford.

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Let's see what our 100 people make of that.

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Watford.

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Oh, that's a great answer. Look at that.

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10. Look at that. What a start to the show.

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Very well done indeed. 10.

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Nice start, John. I assume you're a Watford fan.

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I was just about to tell you who they played in the third round

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and then I realised that was a valid answer as well, so I won't.

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Thanks very much indeed, Richard. Alex, welcome back.

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Remind us what you do, Alex.

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-I'm a secondary school science teacher.

-In Brighton.

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Last time, you and Zoe introduced yourselves as from Brighton.

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This time I've noticed you've introduced Zoe as from Swansea.

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What has happened? LAUGHTER

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I was the one that did it last time.

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I made a mistake. I think I panicked.

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OK, OK. Which would you like to be - officially Swansea?

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-Swansea, definitely.

-Swansea, definitely and officially.

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Now, Alex, what are you going to go for?

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I've thought of a few but I'm going to go with Reading.

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Reading. Let's see how many of our 100 people said Reading.

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Well, 10 is the only score on the board so far.

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You've passed it!

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3 for Reading.

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-Very well done indeed. 3.

-Well played, Alex.

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Watford - 10, Reading - 3.

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That's a game.

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Thanks very much, Richard.

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-Clint, welcome back.

-Hello.

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-It was Round One last time.

-Yes, unfortunately.

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Unfortunately, it was. It can sometimes be tough on that

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last podium, sometimes it can be excellent.

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Clint, remind us what you do.

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I'm a property developer -

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buy land, build houses.

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Oh, that's what they do! Oh, right.

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-Construction work.

-Construction work - that's fun.

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And you see it all through from the purchase of land.

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Right the way through, planning, everything, architect, design.

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Then you do all the showing around show homes, that sort of thing?

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I don't. But the estate agents do.

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Very good, so the buyers will come back to you

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if they ever have any complaints, which I'm sure they don't?

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I've moved by then.

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That's much as I thought.

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You are a property developer. Clint, what would you like to go for?

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I'd like to go for Shrewsbury, please.

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Shrewsbury, says Clint.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

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10 is our high score, 3 is our low.

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13.

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Which, coincidentally, is the sum of 10 and 3.

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This is just extraordinary.

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Shrewsbury Town, they had quite a famous FA Cup run in that,

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which is why they scored 13.

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Thanks very much indeed.

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Now then, Chris. Welcome to Pointless.

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Good to have you here. What do you do, Chris?

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I'm head of media at a football club.

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What about that? LAUGHTER

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What about that?

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Are you through to the third round of the FA Cup?

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Yeah, just about. Yeah.

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I can ask you about that, I suppose,

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but maybe it's not the answer you want to give,

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-in which case, I'd better not.

-If it is the answer he wants to give,

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it suggests that his team is very obscure

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-and he's not doing a good job.

-LAUGHTER

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So if he thinks he's good at his job, he can't give it as an answer.

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That's good. That's a catch-22!

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The moment of truth, Chris - what are you going to go for?

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Wycombe Wanderers.

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Wycombe Wanderers, very close to Reading, of course.

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-Is that where you work?

-No.

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I'm trying to work out if that's good for his job prospects or not.

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Let's find out, is it is good for your Pointless prospects?

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Wycombe Wanderers - how many of our 100 people said that?

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I think we're going to be heading towards

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the 3-ish end of the spectrum.

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3 for Reading. Wycombe Wanderers - 6.

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Not bad at all.

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Very impressive low-scoring round so far, I have to say.

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I really, really want to know what club you do media on.

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We'll find out at the end and see what they scored.

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Thanks. We're halfway through the round -

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let's take a look at those scores. 3, well done, Alex.

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A very good low score.

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Then we travel up to 6. Well done, Chris.

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Then up to 10, where we find John and Katie.

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And then up to 13. A very tight grouping.

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Clint and Colm, you're ahead, not by much.

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-Just you are ahead, so, Colm...

-Pressure's on.

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We're thinking Reading sort of level.

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That is the kind of scoring we want from you.

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Best of luck. We're going to come back down the line now.

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Please will the second player step up to the podium?

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Marvellous. So, Hannah, remember we're looking for any of the 64

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teams that took part in the third round of the FA Cup 2016.

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Hannah, what do you do?

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I work for two different charities.

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I'm a charity consultant. So I work for two charities and we use

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cricket, really, as our kind of medium to raise awareness

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about sports issues and health issues as well.

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Excellent, and how do you and Chris know each other?

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Chris, before he worked at the football club which he works for

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now, used to write for one of the local papers about the club,

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and I'm a massive fan of that club.

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We followed each other on Twitter

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and then we had lots of mutual friends that

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-we knew through school as well. So that's how...

-That's nice.

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So, football. I wonder if you're going to go for that club.

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I'm not, I think I'll go for Bristol City.

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Bristol City is what you are going to go for.

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There you are.

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OK, Bristol City.

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There is your red line. Low.

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If you get below that, you are through to the next round.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said Bristol City.

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Yes, 3! Another 3!

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Taking your total up to 9.

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Good job, Hannah.

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Well played, Hannah. Nice low-scoring round, this.

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-Now, Colm, welcome back.

-Yes. Hiya.

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Remind us what you do, Colm.

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I'm a graphic designer.

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I'm studying graphic design at Southampton Solent at the moment.

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Do you do placements at all for companies in your last year?

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Yes, in your third year you look for somewhere, a firm to work for.

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Well, it's suggested that you do

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because you really need to get that foot in the door.

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Now, what are you going to go for?

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I'm a little bit nervous because it's the last round

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but I'm going to go for Crystal Palace.

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Crystal Palace. Crystal Palace. You are on 13,

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you are the high-scorers, so it has to be a low score for you.

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Remember, though, there is Katie,

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who doesn't look happy with this round,

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so I'm just putting it out there - don't despair.

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Let's see how far down the column we get with Crystal Palace.

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Not bad!

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Really not bad. 7, look at that!

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Takes your total up to 20.

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Just the 7 points. Interesting that Shrewsbury's still

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very much the biggest scorer in this round.

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That's what happens in the FA Cup sometimes -

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the smaller clubs who do well, they're the ones you remember.

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Thank you, Richard.

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Now, Zoe, remind us what you do, Zoe from Swansea.

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I'm a pharmacy student at Brighton.

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And what do you get up to when you're not studying?

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I like to bake.

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I like to socialise with friends, obviously with Alex as well.

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And I like to go rock climbing sometimes.

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And football - how are we feeling about football,

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the FA Cup in particular?

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I know some teams but I'm not very strong on it.

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OK, have you got an answer?

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I was thinking maybe Durham.

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OK. Durham, says Zoe. Durham.

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Here is your red line. If you can get below this red line with Durham

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you are through to the next round.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said Durham.

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I'm sorry, Zoe, an incorrect answer

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and it scores you 100 points. Takes your total

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-to 103 but the round is not yet over.

-Sorry, Zoe, not a league team,

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also not a strong non-league team either, Durham.

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Bad luck. Now, Katie, that has eased pressure a little bit.

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A tad! A little bit.

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Now, Katie, what do you do?

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I'm an actor/sales assistant.

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Actor/sales assistant.

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-What sort of acting do you do?

-Theatre is my main...

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Theatre, I see.

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And between acting parts, you assist sales? Whereabouts?

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In a luxury toiletries company.

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-The best kind of company.

-Where else would you want to work?

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-Where else?

-Katie, what are you going to go for?

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I'm going to go with Liverpool.

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OK, Liverpool. Here is your red line.

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Quite high.

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Get below that with Liverpool, through you go to Round Two.

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-Oh, yeah... Oh.

-What's wrong?

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Oh, it might be quite high, mightn't it? Or wrong.

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Or wrong. Let's find out.

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How many of our 100 people said Liverpool? Is it right?

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Look at that. Through you go to Round Two.

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Oh! There you go. 52.

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62 is your total.

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Well done, Katie, the second biggest scorer of all, Liverpool,

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but it's all you had to do, so very well done.

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Zoe, tell us the two places you've told us you're from.

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I'm from Swansea.

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Which would have scored you 6 points.

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-And where do you study?

-Brighton.

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Which would have scored you 1 point.

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Chris, what team do you work for?

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West Bromwich Albion.

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Would have scored you 15 points, so you avoided them wisely.

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And where do you live?

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-Walsall.

-Pointless answer.

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Pointless answer, Walsall.

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Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers.

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Very well done if you said any of these.

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Exeter City, who played Liverpool.

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Those are all the pointless answers.

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Very well done if you said one of those.

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Let's take a look at the top three.

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There we are. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

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At the end of our first round,

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the pair heading home with their high score of 103, I'm sorry,

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Alex and Zoe. For a moment,

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you were set fair for the head-to-head and beyond,

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but I'm afraid it's Round One this time.

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We have to say goodbye. It's been great having you on.

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Thanks very much for playing, Zoe and Alex.

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APPLAUSE

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But, for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

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So we're now down to three pairs. At the end of this round,

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we'll have to say goodbye to another pair.

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Katie, it's fine. It's absolutely fine.

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The mighty Watford carried you through. It's all perfect.

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Far podium there, Chris and Hannah, hats off to you.

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Lovely low scoring there.

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And Shrewsbury and Crystal Palace, not bad, so there we are.

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Best of luck to all three pairs.

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Our category for Round Two today is...

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Quartets. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

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who's going to go second.

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And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

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OK, and the question concerns...

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Famous Fours, Richard.

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It doesn't add a great deal to Quartet, to be fair!

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It's a nice one, this, so we're going to show you now on each board

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six groups of famous foursomes.

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We've missed one name out of each of those foursomes.

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Can you tell us who that is, please?

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The more obscure your answer, the fewer the points.

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There's going to be 12 foursomes in all to have a go at at home.

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We've missed out one from each of these foursomes -

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can you fill them in?

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OK, so we're looking for the missing quarter of these quartets.

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And here is our first list.

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I'm going to read all those again.

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There we are. Katie. Fun.

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-Yeah.

-Fun.

-This is a good one.

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It is a good one.

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Which of those would you like to go for?

0:16:450:16:48

I'm going to go for main characters in Sex And The City

0:16:480:16:52

and I'm going to say Charlotte.

0:16:520:16:55

Charlotte, says Katie.

0:16:550:16:56

Let's see how many of our 100 people agree with Katie. Charlotte.

0:16:560:16:59

It's right.

0:17:010:17:02

Look at that, 9!

0:17:070:17:09

Not bad at all.

0:17:120:17:14

9 for Charlotte.

0:17:140:17:16

Nice start, Katie, very good answer. A great series.

0:17:160:17:18

Have you seen the Sex And The City film where they are in the desert?

0:17:180:17:22

-I haven't seen it.

-Really stinks the place out.

0:17:220:17:25

-It's a bad film.

-It's a great film!

0:17:250:17:27

-What, the one where they're in the desert and all that?

-Top quality.

0:17:270:17:30

-I haven't seen it.

-It's one of those you have to keep watching

0:17:300:17:32

because you think, "Come on!"

0:17:320:17:34

It's worth watching.

0:17:340:17:35

I'll hunt it down. Clint.

0:17:360:17:39

What would you like to go for?

0:17:390:17:42

Yes, try and get a low score.

0:17:420:17:45

I know quite a few of them.

0:17:450:17:48

I'm going to go for the French Open

0:17:480:17:50

as part of Australian Open, Wimbledon and US.

0:17:500:17:53

OK, the French Open. Let's see if that's right

0:17:530:17:56

and how many of our 100 people said the French Open.

0:17:560:17:58

It's right.

0:18:000:18:02

54.

0:18:020:18:04

54! Being punished by high scores, Clint.

0:18:060:18:10

54 for the French Open.

0:18:100:18:11

But it's absolutely the right answer,

0:18:110:18:13

the only Grand Slam tournament played on clay, the French Open.

0:18:130:18:16

Thanks very much, Richard.

0:18:160:18:17

Now, Hannah, this board is all yours.

0:18:170:18:20

Would you like to talk us through them all and fill in all the blanks?

0:18:200:18:23

I've got an eight-year-old son at home who is screaming the bottom

0:18:230:18:26

answer that me and I cannot for the life of me think what the missing

0:18:260:18:29

Ninja Turtle is.

0:18:290:18:31

I think I'll go for the top one,

0:18:310:18:34

which is The Temple Of Doom,

0:18:340:18:37

Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom.

0:18:370:18:38

Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom, says Hannah.

0:18:380:18:41

Let's see if it's right and how many of our 100 people said it.

0:18:410:18:44

23!

0:18:510:18:53

23, not bad!

0:18:540:18:56

Well played, Hannah.

0:18:560:18:57

Everything still to play for in the second pass.

0:18:570:19:00

Shall we fill in this board?

0:19:000:19:01

The faces on Mount Rushmore,

0:19:010:19:03

probably the most famous president not on there.

0:19:030:19:06

-Lincoln.

-Abe Lincoln.

0:19:060:19:08

Would have scored 19.

0:19:080:19:09

Do you know this next one?

0:19:090:19:10

I'm thinking clubs.

0:19:100:19:12

It is clubs. It's a fairly big score, 91 points.

0:19:120:19:16

Now this last one, it is the most obscure of the Ninja Turtles.

0:19:160:19:19

-Donatello.

-Do you know that one?

0:19:190:19:21

Donatello.

0:19:210:19:23

That would have scored 21 points.

0:19:230:19:25

The best answer on the board by a mile, Katie, is Charlotte.

0:19:250:19:28

Who'd have thought Sex And The City

0:19:280:19:30

was what would get you through Pointless?

0:19:300:19:32

See, it's not a waste of time.

0:19:320:19:33

Not a waste of time. Nothing is a waste of time.

0:19:330:19:36

OK, let's take a look at the scores. Halfway through the round.

0:19:360:19:38

9 is the best score of the pass.

0:19:380:19:40

Katie and John looking very strong at this point.

0:19:400:19:42

We then travel up to 23 -

0:19:420:19:43

their nearest rivals are Hannah and Chris on the far podium.

0:19:430:19:46

And then up to 54.

0:19:460:19:47

Clint and Colm, once again it's a high score.

0:19:470:19:50

Colm, you've got to pull it out of the bag this time.

0:19:500:19:53

We need a low, low score.

0:19:530:19:54

Best of luck with that. We'll come back down the line now.

0:19:540:19:57

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

0:19:570:19:59

OK, let's put six more famous quartets up on the board.

0:20:020:20:05

And here they come.

0:20:050:20:07

I'm going to read those all one last time.

0:20:350:20:37

There we go. Chris, it's over to you.

0:20:540:20:57

I know three or four of those.

0:20:590:21:02

Not sure which one will be the lowest.

0:21:020:21:05

I'm going to go with

0:21:050:21:07

Murdock, The A-Team character.

0:21:070:21:10

Of course, there you are. 23. Here is your red line.

0:21:100:21:13

Get below that with Murdock and through you go to the next round.

0:21:130:21:16

How many people said Murdock?

0:21:160:21:17

Very well done, Chris.

0:21:240:21:26

Look at that, 19! Perfect.

0:21:260:21:28

Perfect, perfect! 42 is your total.

0:21:280:21:32

Well played, Chris. Howling Mad Murdock.

0:21:320:21:35

I used to love The A-Team.

0:21:350:21:36

Famously, no-one ever died in The A-Team.

0:21:360:21:38

-No-one ever gets very hurt in The A-Team.

-No.

0:21:380:21:43

A lot of welding.

0:21:430:21:44

A lot of welding. A lot of welding.

0:21:440:21:47

-Always a sort of tank that comes out.

-Yeah, yeah.

0:21:470:21:50

-Good.

-Colm, you're on 54. You're still the high-scorers.

0:21:510:21:55

-I was going to go with Murdock and now I'm torn between two.

-Ouch.

0:21:550:22:01

I'm going to pick it from the top category and say Ravenclaw.

0:22:010:22:05

OK. Ravenclaw, says Colm.

0:22:050:22:07

You're getting a nod from Hannah behind.

0:22:070:22:10

No red line. You're our high-scorers.

0:22:100:22:11

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Ravenclaw.

0:22:110:22:14

It's right.

0:22:160:22:17

Still going down, Colm, still going down.

0:22:200:22:23

17. Not bad.

0:22:230:22:25

Taking your total up to 71.

0:22:250:22:27

Well played, Colm.

0:22:290:22:30

Harry Potter fans will be furious that only scored 17, won't they?

0:22:300:22:32

-Would you have got it?

-No, I wouldn't have got that.

0:22:320:22:35

But you'd get Hufflepuff and you'd get...

0:22:350:22:37

Those other three are much more well-known.

0:22:370:22:40

I think I'd probably only have got Gryffindor and Slytherin.

0:22:400:22:42

Now, John, you are on 9.

0:22:420:22:46

Katie has set you up beautifully.

0:22:460:22:49

This board is all yours - talk us through it.

0:22:490:22:51

I'd love to.

0:22:510:22:53

Europa, I've got no idea.

0:22:530:22:55

Spring, summer, autumn and winter.

0:22:550:22:57

Strings, percussion, woodwind and brass, sections of an orchestra.

0:22:570:23:01

And Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy at the bottom.

0:23:010:23:04

Lowest score, brass.

0:23:060:23:08

Brass section of the orchestra.

0:23:080:23:10

It's probably the one to go for. Here is your red line.

0:23:100:23:13

If you can get below that with brass, you're into the head-to-head.

0:23:130:23:16

Let's see how many of our 100 people said brass.

0:23:160:23:19

Through you go!

0:23:220:23:24

54!

0:23:240:23:25

Not bad at all.

0:23:270:23:29

Takes your total up to 63.

0:23:290:23:31

Well done, John. Of the three you knew that's the only one that would've

0:23:310:23:34

got you through. So, well done.

0:23:340:23:36

That's thanks to Katie's very low score in the first round.

0:23:360:23:39

Do you know Jupiter's moons?

0:23:390:23:42

Do I hell.

0:23:420:23:43

LAUGHTER

0:23:430:23:45

It is Ganymede.

0:23:450:23:46

Ganymede is the other one.

0:23:460:23:48

It's the best answer there, 6 points.

0:23:480:23:50

Spring, summer, BLANK and winter - what did you think this would score?

0:23:500:23:53

-The answer is autumn.

-It is autumn.

0:23:530:23:57

I know, it's like...

0:23:570:23:59

I was going to say August, but no.

0:23:590:24:01

I'll tell you what it scored - it scored 85.

0:24:010:24:04

Excuse me just one moment!

0:24:050:24:08

-And the bottom one.

-Tinker.

0:24:080:24:10

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy. Of course it is.

0:24:100:24:13

64 points.

0:24:130:24:14

You know that dating site, Uniform Dating?

0:24:140:24:17

I always think they should have an app for that called

0:24:170:24:19

Tinder, Tailor, Soldier, Spy.

0:24:190:24:21

LAUGHTER

0:24:210:24:23

Thanks, Richard. At the end of our second round,

0:24:230:24:25

the pair who are heading home with their high score of 71,

0:24:250:24:27

it's Colm and Clint. I'm so sorry. You've never seen...

0:24:270:24:32

It's beautiful, the head-to-head.

0:24:320:24:34

It's amazing! Anyway, I'm sorry you didn't get to see it.

0:24:350:24:38

It's been great having you on both shows.

0:24:380:24:40

Thank you very much for playing, Colm and Chris, great contestants.

0:24:400:24:42

APPLAUSE

0:24:420:24:45

But, for Chris and Hannah, Katie and John,

0:24:450:24:46

it's time for the head-to-head.

0:24:460:24:48

Congratulations, Chris and Hannah, Katie and John,

0:24:530:24:55

you are now one step closer to the final and a chance to play for

0:24:550:24:58

our jackpot, which currently stands at £2,000.

0:24:580:25:02

You know the deal. The big thing is you are now allowed to confer,

0:25:050:25:08

which is marvellous. The first player to win two questions

0:25:080:25:10

will be playing for that jackpot.

0:25:100:25:12

You've seen off our two returning pairs, so very well done indeed.

0:25:120:25:15

Great low-scoring from each pair, I think this should be pretty close.

0:25:150:25:18

Best of luck to you, let's play the head-to-head.

0:25:180:25:20

OK, here comes your first question and it concerns...

0:25:260:25:30

-We are getting well classy, aren't we?

-Innit.

-Innit.

0:25:330:25:37

We're going to show you five pictures now of people who have been

0:25:370:25:39

Poet Laureate, we are also going to show you their initials.

0:25:390:25:42

Can you name the most obscure of these five, please?

0:25:420:25:45

Thank you very much indeed. Let's reveal our five Poets Laureate.

0:25:450:25:48

And here they are.

0:25:480:25:49

There we are. Chris and Hannah, you've been our

0:26:180:26:20

low scorers throughout the show so you will go first.

0:26:200:26:23

INDISTINCT CONFERRING

0:26:250:26:28

OK, So we're going to go fairly safe and go for D,

0:26:320:26:37

and go for John Betjeman.

0:26:370:26:39

John Betjeman you're saying for D, John Betjeman.

0:26:390:26:41

Now, Katie and John, do you want to talk us through all of those poets?

0:26:410:26:45

-I don't know A, do you know A?

-No.

0:26:450:26:48

B, Carol Ann Duffy,

0:26:480:26:51

C, William Wordsworth,

0:26:510:26:55

and E, Robert Browning, apparently.

0:26:550:26:58

I'm going to go with B, Carol Ann Duffy.

0:26:580:27:01

Carol Ann Duffy you're going to go for.

0:27:010:27:03

So we have John Betjeman and we have Carol Ann Duffy.

0:27:030:27:05

Chris and Hannah went for John Betjeman for D,

0:27:050:27:07

let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

0:27:070:27:10

37.

0:27:170:27:18

37 for John Betjeman.

0:27:200:27:21

Katie and John, meanwhile, have gone for Carol Ann Duffy for B.

0:27:230:27:26

Let's see if that's right and how many people said that.

0:27:260:27:29

It's right.

0:27:310:27:33

Very well done, wins you the point.

0:27:350:27:38

15, Carol Ann Duffy, which means,

0:27:380:27:41

Katie and John, after one question, you are up 1-0.

0:27:410:27:45

-Very well done.

-Very well played.

0:27:450:27:47

I don't think either team knew A,

0:27:470:27:49

but A is Cecil Day-Lewis. Very famous surname,

0:27:490:27:53

18 points for that.

0:27:540:27:56

C, you are quite right, is William Wordsworth.

0:27:560:27:59

He would have scored you 71 points.

0:27:590:28:00

Now, E, if I tell you E is a pointless answer.

0:28:000:28:05

It was Robert Bridges.

0:28:050:28:08

Robert Bridges, very well played if you said that at home.

0:28:090:28:12

OK, thanks very much indeed. Here comes your second question.

0:28:120:28:14

Katie and John, you get to answer it first, but, Chris and Hannah,

0:28:140:28:17

you have to score to stay in the game so very best of luck.

0:28:170:28:20

Our second question is all about...

0:28:200:28:24

Fictional rodents, Richard.

0:28:260:28:28

This is more our speed, isn't it?

0:28:280:28:30

We're going to give you five clues now to famous fictional rodents,

0:28:300:28:33

can you name the most obscure of these?

0:28:330:28:35

There we are. Here come our five clues.

0:28:350:28:37

We have got...

0:28:370:28:39

I'll read all those one last time.

0:29:030:29:05

Katie and John will go first.

0:29:260:29:28

The bottom one is Roland Rat.

0:29:280:29:30

INDISTINCT CONFERRING

0:29:300:29:33

We're going to go for the bottom one

0:29:360:29:37

and we think that's probably Roland Rat.

0:29:370:29:40

Roland Rat.

0:29:400:29:41

Now, Chris and Hannah, it's over to you,

0:29:410:29:44

what are you going to go for?

0:29:440:29:46

The bespectacled hamster who act as an assistant to Danger Mouse,

0:29:460:29:51

-Penfold.

-Penfold, say Chris and Hannah.

0:29:510:29:53

So we have Roland Rat and we have Penfold.

0:29:530:29:55

Katie and John said Roland Rat,

0:29:550:29:57

let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

0:29:570:29:59

66 for Roland Rat.

0:30:040:30:05

Chris and Hannah, meanwhile, have gone for Penfold.

0:30:080:30:11

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it.

0:30:110:30:13

It's right.

0:30:150:30:16

And it wins you the point,

0:30:170:30:18

you're back in the game. Well done.

0:30:180:30:20

39 for Penfold.

0:30:200:30:22

Which means, after two questions, it's 1-1.

0:30:240:30:27

The top two scorers on the board, those two.

0:30:270:30:29

Are you doing any more of your lovely new Danger Mouse?

0:30:290:30:32

-Oh, yes.

-That's good.

0:30:320:30:33

-They're coming back for more.

-You are very good in it.

0:30:330:30:36

Thank you very much. You're in it as well, of course.

0:30:360:30:38

-Very, very briefly.

-It's enough!

0:30:380:30:40

No, I mean... LAUGHTER

0:30:400:30:43

No, I mean it's...it's enough to mean that you are in it,

0:30:430:30:48

is what I mean.

0:30:480:30:49

That sounds awful! That's... HE LAUGHS

0:30:490:30:54

-Goodness me.

-Yeah.

0:30:540:30:57

The acorn-obsessed squirrel, his name is Scrat,

0:30:570:31:01

that would have scored 14 points. Well done if you said that.

0:31:010:31:05

The water vole is Ratty, it should be Voley, really.

0:31:050:31:09

It would have scored 36.

0:31:090:31:11

And the other chipmunk is Theodore.

0:31:110:31:13

Theodore would have scored you 30 points.

0:31:150:31:18

There we are, thank you very much indeed.

0:31:180:31:20

It all comes down to a third question, this is the decider.

0:31:200:31:23

Whoever wins this one goes through to the final

0:31:230:31:26

and plays for that £2,000 jackpot.

0:31:260:31:27

Our third question today is all about...

0:31:270:31:30

Things found in the bedroom.

0:31:340:31:36

Somehow, THE bedroom sounds a lot more saucy than A bedroom.

0:31:360:31:40

Things found in a bedroom.

0:31:400:31:43

We are going to show you five anagrams now of things

0:31:430:31:46

you might traditionally find in a bedroom.

0:31:460:31:48

Be very careful with your anagrams.

0:31:480:31:50

You just need to give us the most obscure of these answers, please.

0:31:500:31:52

Whoever does is going through to play for the jackpot,

0:31:520:31:55

-so very best of luck to both teams.

-OK, thanks very much indeed.

0:31:550:31:58

Let's find out what our five clues are.

0:31:580:32:00

Here they come. Our five anagrams read thus.

0:32:000:32:03

So, Chris and Hannah will go first.

0:32:150:32:17

-Mattress.

-Mattress.

0:32:170:32:19

INDISTINCT CONFERRING

0:32:190:32:23

OK, REHAB DADO.

0:32:310:32:34

And we think that is headboard.

0:32:340:32:37

Headboard, say Chris and Hannah.

0:32:370:32:40

Katie and John.

0:32:400:32:42

Top one, mattress.

0:32:420:32:44

Second one down, duvet.

0:32:440:32:47

-Second to last...

-Lamp.

-That's the one.

0:32:470:32:50

-And lastly...

-Bunk bed.

0:32:500:32:52

Think we're going to go with mattress.

0:32:520:32:54

OK, mattress.

0:32:540:32:56

We have headboard and we have mattress.

0:32:560:32:58

Headboard first, Chris and Hannah said,

0:32:580:33:00

let's see how many of our 100 people said headboard.

0:33:000:33:03

It's right.

0:33:050:33:06

12.

0:33:120:33:13

Now then, Katie and John, meanwhile, have gone for a mattress.

0:33:190:33:22

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

0:33:220:33:25

Oh, it's going...

0:33:330:33:34

19.

0:33:340:33:36

19 for mattress.

0:33:360:33:38

But very well done, Chris and Hannah.

0:33:380:33:40

You have won 2-1,

0:33:400:33:41

which means you are straight through to the final.

0:33:410:33:44

-Very well done.

-Brilliant work from both pairs,

0:33:440:33:47

the best two answers you could have given.

0:33:470:33:48

Nothing you could have done cos 12 is the best score.

0:33:480:33:51

Terrific work from everybody.

0:33:510:33:52

Let's take a look at the scores for the others.

0:33:520:33:55

Duvet would have scored 79.

0:33:550:33:59

Lamp would have scored 89.

0:33:590:34:03

And bunk bed,

0:34:030:34:05

a big scorer, would have scored you 68.

0:34:050:34:08

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

0:34:080:34:10

The pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

0:34:100:34:12

I'm afraid, Katie and John. It's good news,

0:34:120:34:14

it means we get to see you again next time,

0:34:140:34:16

which is great, but you have done a fantastic job the whole way through.

0:34:160:34:20

The mighty Watford, that has now stuck.

0:34:200:34:22

I'm not quite sure why I'm saying that, but we look forward to seeing

0:34:220:34:25

you again next time, Katie and John.

0:34:250:34:27

APPLAUSE

0:34:270:34:30

For Chris and Hannah,

0:34:320:34:33

it is now time for our Pointless final.

0:34:330:34:35

Congratulations, Chris and Hannah,

0:34:410:34:43

you have seen off all the competition and you have won

0:34:430:34:45

our coveted Pointless trophy.

0:34:450:34:47

You now have the chance to win our Pointless jackpot

0:34:530:34:55

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £2,000.

0:34:550:34:59

But what a great performance. I mean, really strong.

0:35:020:35:05

Lowest scorers in the first round, lowest scorers in the second round.

0:35:050:35:08

You then came from behind in the head-to-head round to win it 2-1

0:35:080:35:12

and here you are, fantastic.

0:35:120:35:14

Fantastic! Anything you'd particularly love to see coming up?

0:35:140:35:17

I know the answer before I ask.

0:35:170:35:19

-Football would be good.

-Sport.

0:35:190:35:21

-Politics.

-Musical theatre.

0:35:210:35:23

As always, first you have to choose a category

0:35:230:35:25

and there will be four options to choose from.

0:35:250:35:27

Who knows what today's will look like?

0:35:270:35:29

Perhaps something a bit like this.

0:35:290:35:32

-You're very good with cricket, aren't you?

-I am, but...

0:35:390:35:42

Test cricket records, that could be...

0:35:420:35:44

I'd rule out the bottom two, unless you know something about Russia.

0:35:440:35:48

No, nothing.

0:35:480:35:49

-Cricket.

-Shall we go with that?

0:35:490:35:51

You're going to go for Test cricket records.

0:35:510:35:53

-England Test cricket records.

-Right you are.

0:35:530:35:55

Took a very long time to zone in on cricket for someone who

0:35:550:35:58

-works for the cricket charities.

-Yeah.

0:35:580:36:00

I don't want to embarrass myself, that's the problem!

0:36:000:36:03

Probably best to go for Russia, you know, rather than...

0:36:030:36:06

Very best of luck. I hope one of these suits you.

0:36:060:36:09

I suspect it will, but we shall see.

0:36:090:36:12

We are looking for...

0:36:120:36:13

Any of the 50 people who have scored the most Test runs for the

0:36:150:36:19

England men's cricket team

0:36:190:36:21

up to the end of January 2016.

0:36:210:36:23

So the 50 highest run scorers for England.

0:36:230:36:26

We are looking for the 50 highest Test wicket takers for the

0:36:260:36:30

England men's team as well.

0:36:300:36:32

Or we are looking for the 50 highest scorers against England,

0:36:320:36:36

the most runs against England.

0:36:360:36:38

So, 50 scorers of the most Test runs,

0:36:380:36:40

50 takers of the most Test wickets

0:36:400:36:43

50 most Test runs against England.

0:36:430:36:45

Hopefully that suits you down to the ground.

0:36:450:36:47

Very, very best of luck.

0:36:470:36:49

As always, you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers

0:36:490:36:52

and all you need to win that jackpot

0:36:520:36:54

is for just one of those answers to be pointless. Are you ready?

0:36:540:36:57

60 seconds up on the board.

0:36:570:36:59

There they are. Your time starts now.

0:36:590:37:02

Test runs against England.

0:37:020:37:04

Brian Lara.

0:37:050:37:06

Don Bradman.

0:37:060:37:08

Michael Clarke maybe.

0:37:100:37:11

Test wickets for England.

0:37:110:37:15

INDISTINCT CONFERRING

0:37:150:37:17

Test wickets for England, obviously Ian Botham.

0:37:210:37:23

Matthew Hoggard.

0:37:250:37:27

-Test runs for England would be Kevin...

-Pietersen.

0:37:290:37:34

Strauss?

0:37:340:37:36

Andrew Strauss.

0:37:360:37:38

There's all kinds of recent players, I'm trying to think back.

0:37:380:37:41

-Boycott.

-Geoffrey Boycott.

0:37:430:37:46

INDISTINCT CONFERRING

0:37:460:37:48

Ten seconds left.

0:37:510:37:52

OK, so I think we go for Test wickets.

0:37:520:37:55

I don't know, what do you want to do?

0:37:560:37:58

I'm with you on this one. You know best about cricket.

0:37:580:38:01

OK, that is your time up. I now need your three answers.

0:38:010:38:04

Which three answers are you going to give me and in which categories?

0:38:040:38:08

Test wickets for England, we're going to say Bob Willey.

0:38:080:38:12

Bob Willey.

0:38:120:38:13

Test runs against England, Don Bradman.

0:38:130:38:17

Don Bradman.

0:38:170:38:18

And Test wickets for England, Matthew Hoggard.

0:38:200:38:23

Matthew Hoggard. Of those three,

0:38:230:38:25

which is your best shot at a pointless answer, do you think?

0:38:250:38:28

Probably Matthew Hoggard.

0:38:280:38:30

Matthew Hoggard goes last. Least likely to be pointless?

0:38:300:38:33

-Don Bradman.

-Don Bradman we put first.

0:38:330:38:35

Let's put those answers up on the board in that order then

0:38:350:38:38

and here they are.

0:38:380:38:40

We've got Don Bradman,

0:38:400:38:41

we've got Bob Willey and we've got Matthew Hoggard.

0:38:410:38:44

Well, very, very best of luck.

0:38:440:38:46

Now, if one of these answers happens to be pointless and you won that

0:38:460:38:49

jackpot of 2,000 quid, what would you do with that?

0:38:490:38:51

Chris, you go first.

0:38:510:38:53

I'd probably treat my little girl to something nice.

0:38:530:38:56

Take her away somewhere, I think.

0:38:560:38:58

I thought you said a take away somewhere and I was thinking,

0:38:580:39:01

"Yeah, that would be nice!"

0:39:010:39:03

She does like takeaways.

0:39:030:39:05

-Maybe treat her to one of those as well.

-Very good.

0:39:050:39:07

-Hannah, how about you?

-We're just in the process of buying a new house,

0:39:070:39:11

so it would help with some of the moving costs, that would be great.

0:39:110:39:14

Very, very best of luck, three very good answers.

0:39:140:39:16

In the first case, we were looking for Test runs against England

0:39:160:39:20

and you have named Don Bradman. Let's find out if that's right,

0:39:200:39:23

let's see how many of our 100 people came up with Don Bradman.

0:39:230:39:27

This for a jackpot win of £2,000.

0:39:270:39:29

Don Bradman is right,

0:39:320:39:33

all it has to be now is pointless.

0:39:330:39:35

Down it goes through the 60s and the 50s,

0:39:350:39:37

into the 40s,

0:39:370:39:38

down through the 30s and the 20s, into the teens.

0:39:380:39:41

Into single figures, down it goes, still going down.

0:39:410:39:44

4.

0:39:440:39:45

4 for Don Bradman.

0:39:460:39:50

It's a great answer, first answer as well.

0:39:510:39:54

Two more shots at today's jackpot.

0:39:560:39:58

Your next answer was Bob Willey.

0:39:580:40:00

In this case, we were looking for

0:40:000:40:02

people who took Test wickets for England.

0:40:020:40:05

If this is right and it's pointless,

0:40:050:40:06

it will win you the jackpot of £2,000.

0:40:060:40:08

How many of our 100 people said Bob Willey?

0:40:080:40:11

Incorrect. An incorrect answer,

0:40:160:40:18

which means everything is now riding on your third and final answer.

0:40:180:40:21

In this case, we were looking for Test wickets for England,

0:40:210:40:24

you've gone for Matthew Hoggard. To win the jackpot,

0:40:240:40:26

obviously it has to be a pointless answer.

0:40:260:40:29

Let's see. For £2,000, how many said Matthew Hoggard?

0:40:290:40:32

It's right.

0:40:360:40:37

Your first answer, Don Bradman, scored 4.

0:40:370:40:41

Your second answer, Bob Willey, was wrong,

0:40:410:40:43

but Matthew Hoggard now taking us into single figures,

0:40:430:40:46

down it goes, still going...

0:40:460:40:48

1!

0:40:480:40:50

APPLAUSE

0:40:500:40:53

1. I have to say, your two correct answers, wonderful low scores.

0:40:590:41:03

I'm afraid you didn't manage find that Holy Grail,

0:41:030:41:07

the pointless answer.

0:41:070:41:09

I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £2,000.

0:41:090:41:11

That will roll over on to the next show.

0:41:110:41:13

But what a great performance.

0:41:130:41:15

So much to be proud of on the show today.

0:41:150:41:17

You get to take home a Pointless trophy in recognition of that.

0:41:170:41:20

So, very well done. Chris and Hannah!

0:41:200:41:22

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:41:220:41:25

That was very, very close indeed, very unlucky.

0:41:290:41:32

Bob Willey, you're mixing up Bob Willis,

0:41:320:41:34

who would have scored 8 points, and Peter Willey. Different people.

0:41:340:41:37

During your 60 seconds, I know 60 seconds is not very much,

0:41:370:41:40

but you did mention a pointless answer and that was Andrew Strauss,

0:41:400:41:44

who would have won you £2,000.

0:41:440:41:45

There's all sorts of big names on these lists.

0:41:450:41:47

Let's take a look at the Test runs for England.

0:41:470:41:51

There's a few names.

0:41:510:41:52

You could have had Alan Knott, Dennis Amiss, Derek Randall,

0:41:560:41:59

Tom Graveney, Wally Hammond. Some great names on that list.

0:41:590:42:02

Let's take a look at the Test wickets for England.

0:42:020:42:05

Three spinners here.

0:42:100:42:12

Also you could have had Andy Caddick, Ashley Giles, Chris Lewis,

0:42:120:42:15

Chris Old. All sorts of names on that list.

0:42:150:42:18

Neil Foster, Phil DeFreitas. And Test runs against England.

0:42:180:42:21

Big names on all of these lists.

0:42:210:42:23

You could have had Desmond Haynes, Justin Langham, Rahul Dravid.

0:42:280:42:32

All sorts of pointless answers. Very well done if you got one at home.

0:42:320:42:35

1 point is an unlucky way to lose

0:42:350:42:37

and you've been terrific throughout as well.

0:42:370:42:39

-Sorry we couldn't give you the money.

-I know, thank you.

-Thank you.

0:42:390:42:42

Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to you,

0:42:420:42:44

Chris and Hannah, but it's been wonderful having you on the show.

0:42:440:42:47

Thank you so much for playing. Chris and Hannah, everyone!

0:42:470:42:49

APPLAUSE

0:42:490:42:52

Very sadly, they didn't win our jackpot today

0:42:520:42:54

which means it rolls over on to the next show

0:42:540:42:57

when we will be playing for £3,000.

0:42:570:42:59

Join us to see if someone can win it.

0:43:010:43:03

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

0:43:030:43:05

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

0:43:050:43:07

Quiz in which contestants try to score as few points as possible by plumbing the depths of their general knowledge to come up with the answers no-one else can think of. Presented by Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman.


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