Episode 47 Pointless

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless,

the show where the lowest scorers are the biggest winners.

Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hi there, I'm Andy, this is my wife Sarah, and we're from Leeds.

-Couple number two.

-Hello, my name's Sian, I'm from Bridgend,

and this is my brother Ian, from Cardiff.

-Couple number three.

-Hi, I'm Nicky,

this is my friend and spiritual guide Edo, and we're from London.

And finally couple number four.

Hello, my name's Jean, this is my son Ray,

and we're from Llandudno in North Wales.

And these are today's contestants.

Thanks very much, all of you, a very warm welcome to the show.

We'll get to chat to each of you throughout the show

as it goes along. So that just leaves one more person

for me to introduce - he's not here to sugar-coat things,

no matter how delicious I keep saying that would be.

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya. Hi, everybody.

Hiya. Good afternoon to you.

-And to you.

-Now, there's good news and bad news, I think,

for all our contestants today.

The good news is that in that jackpot round last time,

Lesley and Gillian got a two-pointer

on Barbra Streisand, but not a pointless answer,

so the jackpot keeps going up.

The bad news is, I think it's going to be quite a competitive show,

we've got two very good returning pairs.

Ian and Sian got through to the head-to-head,

so they're going to be tough,

but also Edo and Nicky got knocked out

in that first round where everybody got low scores,

everybody did, so I think it's going to be tough.

But there's money up for grabs,

so for people at home, it's all good news.

-Oh, it's all good.

-It's all good.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Well, Gillian and Lesley, as you've gathered,

didn't win the jackpot last time, which means we add

another £1,000 to it, so today's jackpot starts off at...

-AUDIENCE:

-Ooh!

-Yes.

ALEXANDER LAUGHS

There's an "Ooh!"

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

Just remember this - the pair with the highest score at the end of

each round will be eliminated, no conferring until the head-to-head.

Best of luck to all four pairs, our first category for today is...

Can you decide in your pairs,

who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

-TV surnames, Richard.

-Yeah, on each board

we're going to give you seven lists of surnames

of characters from certain television shows alongside

the year that show was first broadcast.

You just need to tell us the name of the show, please.

14 in all to have a go at at home, very best of luck.

Fantastic. OK, so we're looking for the TV shows that feature

the characters with these surnames.

Here is our first board of seven.

I'll read those again.

There we are. Sarah.

-Hello.

-A warm welcome to Pointless. Good to have you here, from Leeds.

What do you do in Leeds, Sarah?

I'm a senior credit controller,

I work for a large food manufacturing company.

I love large food!

How fantastic. And you control the credit there!

What are your interests when you're not doing that?

Well, we've got a 13-month-old little boy...

-Aww.

-..so obviously a lot of time's taken up with that.

A big interest of mine is music, I love going to gigs, festivals,

-that kind of thing.

-Leeds - big, big music centre.

-New arena.

-Very exciting.

-Yeah, so, yeah.

Good stuff. How are you feeling on this TV programmes/surnames mashup?

Not too bad.

I think I'm going to play it relatively safe, I think.

I'm going to go for Murdock, Baracus, Peck,

and that's The A-Team.

The A-Team, says Sarah.

The A-Team. Let's see how many of our 100 people went for that.

The A-Team.

It's right.

It's not too bad, I thought that might be a high score.

46, not bad at all. The A-Team, good start to the round.

Well done, Sarah.

Guess how many times BA Baracus, Mr T,

says, "I pity the fool" across the whole run of The A-Team.

-2,497.

-You are so close.

Zero.

LAUGHTER

-I know!

-It's the sort of thing he should've said.

Well, Mr T does, that's one of his catchphrases in real life,

but he never says it in The A-Team.

-Really?

-BA Baracus never says it.

-When he goes for weigh-ins...

Oh, no, that was only in Rocky.

RICHARD LAUGHS There we are, OK, thank you.

Richard, thank you.

-Sian.

-Hello.

-Welcome back. Head-to-head last time.

-Yep.

-Got to have your eye on the final this time, Sian.

-Ooh.

-Remind us what you do, Sian.

I work for children's services for the local authority.

That's right, and whose idea...? You've come with your brother,

whose idea was it to come, initially?

It was my idea, I had to twist Ian's arm...

Oh. Oh, you had to twist Ian?

-Only slightly!

-Oh, I see, OK.

Good, not so as it hurts! There you are.

Well, very, very good indeed.

Now, Sian, what would you like to go for?

-SIGHING:

-Right, I think I know a couple of them,

but the one I'm going to go for is probably one of my favourite shows.

Cooper, Koothrappali and Wolowitz is The Big Bang Theory.

The Big Bang Theory, says Sian.

OK, you're earning yourself a nod from Edo, that's a good show.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for The Big Bang Theory.

It's right, 46 is our only score at this point -

and you pass it.

Down it goes -

19, very well done indeed, Sian.

That's the stuff.

Lovely answer, Sian. Great show as well.

We make a thing over here of thinking our comedy

is more intelligent than American comedy,

and that's the biggest rated comedy in America by a mile,

and it's about nuclear physics, essentially, and neuroscience,

and has lots of plotlines about it.

-I've never watched it. Isn't that appalling?

-Oh, it's really good.

That makes it sound boring, it's not, it's very stupid as well,

but a lot of the jokes are to do with, you know,

chaos theory and vexillology and probability and stuff.

-I love vexillology!

-Biggest rated show in America.

Brilliant. I'm going to track it down.

-Thank you very much. Now, Edo...

-Hello.

-..welcome back.

-Remind us what you do, Edo?

-I work in sports journalism.

In sports journalism, but for an Italian...

It's not a publisher, it's an online thing, isn't it?

Yeah, I'm an editor of the English page of an Italian website.

But sport is your focus?

Yeah, that and history.

Oh, sorry, no - in the job, yeah, sports.

What sports do you cover then? Football obviously.

Yeah, it's almost all football, basically.

Mostly transfers...that I see.

So during the window you are working flat out?

Yeah, the window is hell, but a good kind of hell.

Yeah, fun hell!

Fun hell, yeah.

The best kind of hell! Edo, what would you like to go for?

EDO SIGHS

It's a show I watched as a child, a shout out to my sister.

Tracy, Creighton-Ward and Kyrano I'm strongly confident is Thunderbirds.

Thunderbirds, says Edo.

Let's see if it's right, let's see how many of our 100 people

said Thunderbirds.

Well, it is right.

46 still our highest score, and you pass it.

19 our low score...and you pass it.

Look at that, 11!

Look at that, Edo!

Wow.

11, and also that's the first time

I've seen a salute of somebody slapping paper into stone!

-No, I know, I...

-LAUGHTER

They looked like they were both trying to do

slightly different celebrations to each other.

Guys, I think you sort of pulled it off, you almost got away with it.

-I liked it.

-Almost did.

It's my fault, he's got way more swag than I do, I just don't.

Never had it, never will.

I'm looking forward to seeing that

in slow motion when they show it in the...

The stone, a bit of a... HE MIMICS SLOW MOTION SOUND EFFECTS

-..as the paper comes.

-Good answer.

Creighton-Ward, that is Lady Penelope's surname.

Of course it is, Creighton-Ward.

Lovely, thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Now, Jean, welcome. Lovely to have you here from Llandudno.

Lovely to hear her Llandudno accent.

Jean, let's hear it again.

-ENGLISH ACCENT:

-Hello, how are you?

There you go - unmistakable!

Where are you from originally, Jean?

I'm from South Ruislip in Middlesex.

I detected a tiny whisper of that, call me Henry Higgins.

What keeps you busy up in Llandudno?

At the moment, I'm looking after my 18-month-old granddaughter,

which is Ray's little girl.

-Lovely, what's her name?

-She's Frankie.

Frankie! Will she be able...?

-Of course she'll be able...

-Yeah, she loves to watch you.

That's very nice indeed. What are your hobbies, Jean?

I like reading, I like swimming,

I also like going on roller-coasters as well.

Stop right there, Jean! LAUGHTER

Roller-coasters? What kind of roller-coasters do you like?

The last one I went on was at Winter Wonderland, and it was the one,

you know, it drops, and I just sort of quite like them, actually.

You like that? Do you still get scared by roller-coasters

-or are you such an old hand now...?

-No, not at all.

You have to put your hands in the air to feel any kind of adrenaline?

-Yeah.

-That's brilliant, good for you.

Jean, this board's all yours.

Do you want to talk us through it and fill in all the blanks?

I think the top one's...

what is it? I can't remember now.

I know the second one is Criminal Minds.

Mitch... No, sorry, Hotchner, Reid and Morgan.

-Is that the one you want to go for?

-Yeah, please.

Hotchner, Reid, Morgan - Criminal Minds, says Jean.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many

of our 100 people said Criminal Minds.

It's right. Well, 46, still our high score...

and you pass it.

11 our low score...

and you pass it!

Look at that, Jean, 7!

Very well done indeed.

7 for Criminal Minds.

That's lovely play, Jean, very well done.

I have to confess, I've not seen Criminal Minds,

I wouldn't have got that. I'm assuming it's crime-ey?

Yeah, and it's not got...

I don't think it's got Morgan in it any more.

Spoiler alert, Jean!

Let's fill in these, shall we?

Flanders, Wiggum and Lovejoy...

-Is The Simpsons.

-Oh, of course!

33 points for that.

Mitchell, Slater, Fowler...

is of course EastEnders.

61 points. And Game Of Thrones your final answer there,

that would have scored 24.

So, Jean, Criminal Minds is the best answer on the board.

There we are, thank you very much indeed.

Well, we're halfway through the round, so let's just recap

on those scores. They get smaller as they go away from me.

Jean and Ray, very well done, Jean,

lovely low score, 7.

Then we come up to 11 with Edo and Nicky,

then up to 19, Sian and Ian,

then up to 46, quite a leap

for Sarah and Andy.

So, Andy, you know what you have to do,

you have to find the lowest possible score

you can and let's hope it's enough to keep you in the game.

Best of luck, we're going to come back down the line now,

can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put seven more surnames up on the board, and here they are.

I'm going to read them all again.

Now then, Ray, welcome to Pointless, great to have you here.

What keeps you busy, Ray, up in Llandudno?

I'm a keen footballer,

-playing and watching.

-How often do you play?

I play, well, I train Wednesdays during the week

and then play Saturdays.

Very good, so you take it quite seriously, football?

Well, to a certain degree. I try to.

What's your team called?

-Mochdre Sports.

-Mochdre?

-Yes.

That sounds like a shop. Mock-tra Sports.

I think it's...in Welsh translates to "pig town".

-Pig town?

-Yeah.

-Still...

-Sounds a bit less like a...

-Yeah, not much better, is it?

Butcher-come-sports shop. Anyway, there we are.

Now, Ray, 38 or less definitely keeps you in the game.

Okey dokey. I think I only know two on this board,

and one will be quite high, so I'm going to go for my second choice.

Marsh, Cartman, Broflovski - South Park.

South Park, says Ray.

Here is your red line.

Not too low, actually.

If you get below that, you're definitely into Round Two.

How many of our 100 said South Park?

Look at that, Ray. Done it.

24, taking your total up to 31.

Not mucking about on that final podium, are they?

I have to say the day my kids were old enough to watch South Park

was a great day. It's a great show,

but you mustn't watch it if you've got young kids,

it's very, very rude.

-Very rude.

-They create each one from scratch in six days.

-No!

-Isn't that amazing?

-Really?

-They are incredibly reactive sometimes,

-to topical events.

-They are, that's true.

Now, Nicky... Remind us what you do, Nicky?

I'm currently a trainee journalist.

A trainee journalist, but you have also been a political researcher.

-I have indeed.

-How long did you do the political research for?

-Seven years.

-Wow.

-Close to eight, actually.

-Based at the Houses of Parliament?

-Indeed.

-Westminster.

-In the Palace of Westminster.

-Wow.

How long had you worked there before

the magic wore off, or did it never?

Did you walk in every day and think, "Ahhh"?

It could be tiresome sometimes, erm...

-It can be jading.

-Yeah, I can imagine.

It took a while, I did enjoy it - largely.

Well, there we are. So, Nicky, you are on 11.

Our high scorers are still Andy and Sarah on 46,

so 34 or less keeps you very much in the game.

Indeed. I know that the show I'm thinking of

has Peter Griffin and has a Cleveland Brown,

so I'm going to go for Family Guy for the bottom one.

Family Guy says Nicky. Here is your red line.

Get below this red line with Family Guy and you are into Round Two.

How many of our 100 said Family Guy?

It's right.

Good enough.

Oh, and more. Look at that, room to spare.

13, taking your total up to 24.

Could easily be in line to be

the lowest total of the round, I'd have thought.

And a much more co-ordinated celebration there as well,

gents, so very well done.

-Very well done.

-I missed the celebration.

-Mm?

-I missed the celebration.

-Did you?

-It was very nicely done.

You'll have to watch it when it goes out.

-In slow-mo?

-Can you guys just do in slow-mo what you did for Xander?

Because he missed it.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Oh, better in slow-mo.

Slow-mo is weird.

I love the way the sweat fell off Edo's face like that.

-Amazing.

-And the Swanson there is Joe, the cop, and his wife Bonnie,

-are the Swansons in Family Guy.

-Thanks very much indeed.

Now, Ian, welcome back to Pointless.

Good to have you here. Remind us what you do, Ian?

I am an IT services manager.

So I unplug cables and plug them back in again.

So important. So important if you want to be connected.

-Absolutely.

-Now, Ian, you, I gather,

look very, very, very like your father.

That is very true.

This is extraordinary. I know. It's not a hobby as such,

it's just something you do.

And I've got one of his shirts on today.

-Yeah.

-Just in tribute to my dad.

-That's fantastic!

-Not that he's...dead.

No, he's just shivering at home.

HE SHIVERS

So, yes, you sent in a lookalike thing to be judged on.

Well, my sister sent in a lookalike picture to The One Show.

A couple of years ago.

I was out in the garden, chopping wood.

I came back in and everybody made me sit down and watch The One Show,

and I thought,

"Well, OK, if you really want me to watch the One Show."

All of a sudden, Matt Smith, is that his name?

-Matt Baker.

-Matt Baker held up two pictures, one of me, one of my dad,

and said, "Look at these two. Look how similar they look."

Peas in a pod. Aww. Outside chopping wood.

You see, that's...

I know. It puts us to shame slightly, doesn't it?

I know. I like that.

Ian, you're on 19.

The high scorers STILL Andy and Sarah on 46.

You have to score 26 or less to stay in.

Ian, do you think you can do it?

I don't know.

I'll try. My answer is, for Pierce, Houlihan and Klinger, is Mash.

Mash, says Ian.

Here's your red line.

You have to get below that with Mash.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Mash.

It's right.

Oh, look at that! 27.

You wanted 26, you got 27.

That takes your total up to 46.

You are now equal to our high scorers, Andy and Sarah.

And Alan Alda, who plays Hawkeye Pierce,

first person ever to get an Emmy for writing,

directing and acting in the same series.

-Very impressive.

-Yeah, co-wrote lots of them, directed lots of them.

There we are, thank you, Richard.

So, Andy, welcome to Pointless.

-What do you do, Andy?

-I'm a bus driver.

Are you? In Leeds itself?

-In Leeds, yes.

-On one particular route or do you get moved around?

Well, I've just actually changed rotas,

so it's a comprehensive route, so I do all routes, basically.

Are you ever allowed to make up little short cuts?

-No.

-Oh.

Always wanted to know that.

What are your hobbies, aside from driving?

I enjoy watching films.

I enjoy, for my sins, playing Scrabble.

When I was younger, I used to be quite involved in circus skills,

so I can unicycle, stilt walk and juggle.

Well, that's how we're going to celebrate

the end of this show, isn't it?

I think! There we are.

Now, Andy, you have to find a pointless answer

to have a chance of staying in the game,

I'm afraid, because you are currently joint high scorers

-with Ian and Sian.

-OK.

I did know five, three of them have gone.

I'm going to go with a guess, and go for Brent, Canterbury and Keenan,

and I will guess Beverly Hills 90210.

Beverly Hills 90210, says Andy, for Brent, Canterbury, Keenan.

Is it right? That's the question. Is it right?

Bad luck. You did exactly what you had to do.

I'm afraid it didn't pay off on this occasion.

Scored you 100 points. 146 is your total.

Yeah, you did exactly the right thing.

You've got to go for it. This was a show,

it got one of the lowest appreciation indexes

of any first episode of any show in the history of the BBC,

and it was...?

-The Office.

-The Office, yeah, absolutely.

David Brent, Tim Canterbury and Gareth Keenan.

14 points for that. They say the only thing that ever scored lower

than it on the appreciation index was women's bowls.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-There you are.

-There you go.

-Wow.

The top two are the most obvious ones here.

I'm assuming those were the ones you were avoiding.

-Fonzarelli etc...

-Happy Days.

55. Geller, Buffay, Tribbiani.

-Friends.

-Yeah. 46.

Now, this is the best answer on the board.

You can work it out from the first name and date, maybe.

-Vicar of Dibley.

-Vicar of Dibley, yes.

-Dawn French as Geraldine Granger.

-Wow, three!

-Three points for that.

-Well done if you said that.

-Thanks very much indeed.

So, at the end of our first round,

the pair we have to say goodbye to, I'm sorry to say,

Andy and Sarah, it's you.

But it's been lovely having you on.

We'll see you again next time.

I'm sure it will go much better then.

In the meantime, thanks very much indeed. Andy and Sarah!

APPLAUSE

But, for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And so three pairs remain.

At the end of this round,

obviously we have to say goodbye to another pair

in time for our head-to-head round. But Jean and Edo,

our low scorers there in that round, very well done.

Jean, with Criminal Minds.

Very good. Anyway, best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two today is science.

Science. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

Whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is.

Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many chemical elements

that contained the letter A as they could.

Chemical elements that contain the letter A. Richard.

Yeah, any element on the periodic table as of February 2016, please,

that contains the letter A in its name.

Thanks very much.

Now then, Ian.

Hi. I'm going to try californium.

Californium.

Let's see if it's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right.

Used to be a wonderful low scorer, reliable Pointless answer, this one.

Let's see how it does today.

5 for californium.

Very well done indeed, Ian.

Yeah, it's often used to start up nuclear reactors.

Oh. So, when they are inaugurating a nuclear reactor,

they call in the californium...

-Well, you know when you get home...

-Yeah.

-..after a day out...

-Yeah.

-..and your house is a bit cold...

-Yes.

-It's essentially that.

If you have nuclear heating in your house,

-which some people do these days...

-Yeah.

You would essentially, it's like, instead of a pilot light,

you just toss some californium onto the coals and...

-You're up and running.

-Lovely.

Someone was telling me that the future of nuclear reactors

could easily be something the size of a garden shed.

Something of that size that would have something the size of a saucer,

effectively, and that could power a city.

-A little garden shed.

-Which city?

Very small one.

-Yeah.

-Letchworth Garden Shed City?

That's the fellow.

Anyway, let's get back to the game.

Nicky?

So many options.

I will go for...

-..radium.

-Radium says Nicky.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for that.

It's right.

Got californium to contend with, which took us down to 5.

Radium takes us to 10.

There we are.

Yeah, discovered by Marie and Pierre Curie.

-Together?

-Yes.

-They were clearing out the loft.

-Aw.

And they found it underneath some old photos.

Aw, nice.

There weren't old photos at the time. But they are these days.

Yes.

Don't store your photos next to your radium, by the way.

You mustn't do.

Also, don't store your radium in the loft, to be honest.

Fair enough. Fair enough.

Jean?

I'm so bad at this that I don't even know if it's right.

-Magnesium.

-Magnesium, says Jean.

Gets you a nod from Edo.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said magnesium.

It's right.

28 for magnesium.

Very important for human sleep, magnesium.

If you have too little or too much, you can't sleep properly.

-I don't know why.

-That's where I'm going wrong.

Yeah. It's those hot magnesium drinks that you're having

-before bedtime.

-So good for the digestion, though.

-Listen, a lovely cup of hot...

-Magnesium.

-Little rich...

-Not too hot. A bit bright.

Lovely little biscuit. Little Rich Magnesium in there.

Lovely.

Well, we're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores. 5, very well done indeed.

It's the reverse of last time.

This time, the thin end of the wedge is towards me.

Ian and Sian, very well done.

Then to 10 where we find Nicky and Edo.

Then up to 28 where we find Jean and Ray.

So, Ray, you're the high scorer.

Let's have a nice obscure element, please.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

So, Ray, remember, it's any chemical element containing the letter A.

OK. This isn't very good for me.

I'm hoping that I'm going for an obvious one

and I'm not going to look stupid saying it.

Nitrate.

Nitrate? Nitrate.

I'm on a day rate, personally.

Ray is saying nitrate. No redline for you.

You're the highest scorer.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said nitrate.

Oh, bad luck.

Ray, I'm sorry. That scores you 100 points.

Takes your total up to 128.

-Sorry.

-Sorry, Ray. Not an element, I'm afraid.

There we are, Edo.

Little bit of pressure taken off you there.

Doesn't matter what you score now.

I'm sure you've got a good answer, though.

And, hence, why I'm going to take a bit of a risk.

Cadmium.

Cadmium. As in nickel cadmium.

Let's see if it's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people

said cadmium. There's no redline for you.

You're already through.

Look at that! Cadmium.

Well, 5 is our lowest score.

So far. Cadmium takes us to 10.

There you are. Equalling Nicky.

20 is your total.

Cadmium, another good answer.

It's the big rival to Rowntreesium.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Sian, again, it doesn't matter what you score.

You're still through. A little bit of pressure off.

Why not see if you can find a pointless answer?

Right. I was looking at these before we came on the show.

And, I think it's right, protactinium.

Protactinium. Oh, we love protactinium.

No red line for you. You're already through.

Let's see how many of 100 people love protactinium.

It's right. Now, Ian was our lowest scorer before protactinium.

Ian who?

That's a pointless answer. It adds £250 to today's jackpot.

It takes our jackpot up to £6,250.

It scores you nothing.

It leaves you a total of 5.

Very well done indeed.

-Protactinium.

-Oh, what a lovely end to the round.

Terrific stuff. Well played.

For many years, the only place you could get protactinium

-was in the UK.

-At Boots.

-Yeah.

Over-the-counter, though, you couldn't just pick it up.

-No.

-You had to ask a chemist.

I don't know what they use it for,

but someone will be in charge of what that was all about.

-I'm assuming.

-Very exciting.

Now, there's a whole bunch of pointless answers.

We'll take a look at some of them now.

In fact, we'll take a look at all of them, I think.

Well done if you said any of these.

You also could have had gallium and hassium.

Well done if you said any of those and, of course, protactinium.

Let's take a look at the top three.

The ones that most of our 100 people said.

And the shop where they keep all the other elements.

Argon with 37.

Thanks very much, Richard.

So, at the end of our second round, the pair we have to say goodbye to,

with their high score of 128.

It is our new couple, it's Ray and Jean.

We will see you again next time. You'll be veterans of the game then.

I'm sure you'll get much, much further.

In the meantime, thanks very much for playing. Ray and Jean.

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

Well, congratulations, Edo and Nicky, Ian and Sian.

You are now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot,

which currently stands at...

Well, here we are. We've arrived at the head-to-head,

which now means you are allowed to confer

before you give your answers.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

So, it's brother and sister versus Nicky and his spiritual guide.

Very good.

Edo, that's putting quite a lot of your shoulders, isn't it?

Are you happy with that?

No. It's good for me because, if we don't win tonight,

I'll just release a book.

Some book that doesn't really tell you anything important

and I'll make loads of money out of it.

Fantastic. Best of luck to both pairs.

Let's play the head-to-head.

Here is your first question.

And it concerns...

-Richard.

-We're going to show you five pictures of celebrities

who have a capital city in their name.

We need the full name of one of these five, please.

Thank you very much indeed. Let's reveal our five celebrities.

Here they come. We've got...

There we are. Five celebrities with capital cities in their names.

Edo, and Nicky, you're our low scorer so far, so you will go first.

Feel free to confer.

We wanted to go for a less well-known answer,

but we could not totally agree on the first name of the person.

-Right.

-So, we'll go with A, and we'll say Dion Dublin.

Dion Dublin, Say Edo and Nicky. Dion Dublin.

Now then, Ian and Sian, it's over to you.

Well, we know B, Denzel Washington,

and we think D is Paris Hilton.

So, we're going to take a risk on E with Irving Berlin.

Irving Berlin.

You were thinking Isaiah, weren't you?

That's what you were juggling with. OK.

So, we have Dion Dublin and we have Irving Berlin.

Edo and Nicky said Dion Dublin.

Let's see if that's right for A.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for that.

It's right.

19.

19. OK.

Now, Ian and Sian have gone for Irving Berlin for E.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people got it.

And, look at that, Irving Berlin, wins it. 8.

8 for Irving Berlin, which means, very well done indeed, Ian and Sian.

After one question, you're up 1-0.

Two very good answers there.

Well played. B is, of course, Denzel Washington.

He would have scored 45 points.

I don't think there's a Denzel Washington film I haven't enjoyed.

I'm going to go out there and say it.

If he's in a film, it's going to be a good film.

I'd watch any of his films on a plane,

apart from the one with the plane crash in it.

-Yeah. Don't watch that one.

-But that's a great film.

-It is a great film.

-Flight. But don't watch it on a plane.

Do you know what?

Any film I watch on a plane, I enjoy.

Even terrible films, on planes.

Oh, I watched Kevin Costner's Swing Vote on a plane.

I wouldn't do that again.

Anyway, Denzel Washington, 45.

We'll look at D first. As you know, it's Paris Hilton.

65 points for that.

Now, anyone who watched the Musketeers

will recognise this other gentleman.

But what is his name?

He is named after the capital of Chile

and he's called Santiago Cabrera.

And it was a pointless answer.

So, well done if you said that.

There we go. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, here comes your second question.

Edo and Nicky, you have to win this one to stay in the game.

So, very best of luck, because Ian and Sian get to answer it first.

Our second question is all about...

..Mythical Creatures.

-Richard.

-Yeah, we're going to give you five mythical creatures,

they are all listed on oxforddictionaries.com,

but we've missed out alternate letters.

Can you tell us the most obscure of these, please?

OK, so let's reveal our mythical creatures with bits taken out.

And here they are.

Ian and Sian will go first.

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

OK. We're going to try the third one down with Minotaur.

Minotaur say Ian and Sian. Minotaur.

Now, Edo and Nicky, over to you.

Right. The top one's mermaid.

Second one is Loch Ness Monster.

Third was Minotaur, which was our choice.

Fourth is poltergeist.

And last is Bigfoot.

I feel like the lowest one may have already gone, anyway.

But we'll go with Bigfoot.

You're going to go with Bigfoot?

OK. So, we have Minotaur and we have Bigfoot.

Ian and Sian went for Minotaur. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Minotaur.

Minotaur...

Ooh. 55.

APPLAUSE

55 for Minotaur.

Edo and Nicky have gone for Bigfoot.

Let's see how many of our 100 people got that.

55. A little bit higher than we were expecting.

Oh, no! 59 for Bigfoot.

Bad luck, Edo and Nicky.

Very well done. Ian and Sian, after only two questions,

you're straight through to the final 2-0.

Very well played. Such a tough one.

Working out what scores lowest there,

because it's what's the most famous creature?

And then, sometimes, it's just the formation of the letters

that make things harder than others.

Loch Ness Monster, as you'd imagine,

is the biggest scorer of all of them.

Loch Ness Monster would have scored you 71 points.

Now, mermaid, you weren't tempted with at all.

It's actually the lowest scorer up there.

But I think it is, maybe, just because of the letters.

That would have scored 22.

But the other one that you were thinking

about going with was poltergeist.

And, if you had, you'd have won.

Because it would have scored you 30 points.

So, really, really unlucky.

Ooh, it's harsh.

The pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

Edo and Nicky. You knew two answers

that would have kept you in the game there.

Whatever the opposite of a pyrrhic victory is, pyrrhic defeat,

that one was. I'm afraid we have to say goodbye to you.

It's been great having you on both shows.

You've been low scorers in this show. Really strong performers.

And, as I say, you could easily have stayed with us.

I'm so sorry. Edo and Nicky, thanks very much for playing.

Great contestants.

APPLAUSE

For Ian and Sian, it's our Pointless final.

Well, congratulations, Ian and Sian.

You've seen off all of your opponents

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £6,250.

CHEERING

Now, that is turning into quite a monster jackpot now.

And, actually, thanks to you - we had a pointless answer.

There we are. It was our friend...

-Oh, God! Protacterium.

-Protactinium!

Protactinium!

Wow. Your short-term memory is good. Thank goodness.

Protactinium.

That saw you very comfortably through each round.

As always, you get to choose your category in this last round.

There'll be four on the board there.

Let's hope today's selection includes

at least one you quite like the look of. Good luck.

Today's choices are...

Definitely not dogs and definitely not...

-Dogs might be...

-I don't know, a bit obscure.

-A bit random.

-Some of them.

-Got to be live albums, hasn't it?

-Live albums, yeah.

-Live albums by bands.

-Richard.

-OK, very, very best of luck.

£6,250 if you can give us a pointless answer

on one of these three.

We're looking for any of the tracks on the original release

of Live 2003 by Coldplay.

Any tracks on Queen, Live At Wembley '86.

Or any tracks on Nirvana's MTV Unplugged in New York.

Any of the tracks on the original releases of

any of those three albums, please.

-Very, very best of luck.

-Thanks much indeed.

Now, as always, you've got up to one minute

to come up with three answers.

All you need to win the jackpot is for just one of your answers

-to be pointless. Are you ready?

-Yes.

-Yes.

-Marvellous.

Let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

I know a lot of Queen Live At Wembley '86.

-OK.

-It's got...

Big Spender, they did a version of that.

-On there.

-They did a...

-That's a good one.

There's a track called Impromptu. Which was a guitar solo.

-You're a big Queen fan, so...

-Do you want to choose?

Nirvana, there's Jesus Don't Want Me For A Sunbeam.

There's...

God. Is it The Plateau?

I think it's called The Plateau.

There is Man Who Sold The World.

Bowie cover.

Erm...

The first one? The first or second one, eh?

Jesus Don't Want Me For A Sunbeam.

Yeah. Go for that.

Go for Impromptu and go for Big Spender.

OK. OK.

OK, well, there are still five seconds.

They can ride it out, can't they? Your time is now up.

What are you going to go for?

We're going to go for, from Queen Live At Wembley, Impromptu.

-Impromptu.

-Big Spender.

Big Spender.

And from Nirvana MTV Unplugged In New York is

-Jesus Don't Want Me For A Sunbeam.

-Jesus Don't Want Me For A Sunbeam.

Now, of those three, your best shot at a pointless answer,

-what do you think?

-Impromptu.

-Impromptu.

Impromptu. Least likely to be pointless?

-Big Spender.

-Big Spender.

And Jesus Don't Want Me For A Sunbeam in the middle.

OK, well, let's pop those answers on the board

in that order, then. Here they are. We've got...

Very, very best of luck.

Now, if one of these wins that jackpot for you,

what would you spend the money on?

£6,250.

Well, today is my fifth wedding anniversary,

so I'm going to buy my wife something nice.

And then I think I will treat the family to a holiday.

OK. Sian, how about you?

Well, travelling.

I love travelling,

so I'll probably do a bit of travelling with the money.

Stuff for the garden, maybe, a new shed, or something like that.

-New shed.

-Sort of weighing it up.

Well, we know what you can put in the shed now, don't we?

-Nuclear reactor.

-You can power the whole town.

What about that? OK.

Well, very best of luck. Your first answer was Big Spender.

In this case, we were looking for tracks from Queen Live At Wembley.

Only one of these has to be pointless

for you to win that jackpot. £6,250.

Let's not forget. Let's see how many of our 100 people

said Big Spender. Is it pointless?

It's right.

Now, if Big Spender goes all the way down to zero,

you will leave here immediately with £6,250.

Down goes Big Spender into single figures.

Still going down. Still going down.

Yes!

That is fantastic.

Very well done.

-Oh, brilliant!

-That is superb!

Thank you very much.

Just wonderful.

Congratulations. Big Spender was a pointless answer,

which means you go home with that big jackpot of £6,250.

Very, very well done indeed, Ray and Sian.

CHEERING

Very, very well played, Ian and Sian, that's terrific stuff.

If there's one thing we like on this show,

it's giving away big jackpots to lovely people,

and that's just what we've done. So, thank you so much.

Jesus Don't Want Me For A Sunbeam, would have scored you two points.

Cover of The Vaselines' song.

Impromptu was another pointless answer.

So, very well done.

Brilliant, well done.

That category turned out very nice indeed.

We'll start, shall we, with the tracks on the Coldplay album?

Some of their big hits here.

God Put a Smile Upon Your Face. You also could have had Moses.

Those were the five pointless answers there.

Take a look now at Queen.

A few other answers.

You could have had their Brighton Rock Solo,

Gimme Some Lovin. Baby I Don't Care.

Hello Marylou (Goodbye Heart), they were pointless answers as well.

And we will finish with Nirvana.

You said Plateau, as well, during that 60 seconds.

It would also have been a pointless answer.

Very well done if you got any of those at home.

Terrific work in the studio. What a performance.

Thanks, very much, Richard, and thanks, once again,

to our winning players, Ian and Sian,

who go away with today's jackpot of £6,250.

-Very well done indeed.

-I'm so chuffed. Thank you.

Join us next time,

when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE