Episode 49 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless,

the show that puts obscure knowledge to the test.

Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

And couple number one.

I'm David, this is Gareth,

and we're both work colleagues from South Wales.

Couple number two.

Hi, I'm Hannah, this is Kerry, my partner,

and we're from Stalybridge in Greater Manchester.

Couple number three.

Hi, I'm Bob, and this is my silver partner, Graham,

and we're from Newmilns in East Ayrshire.

And finally, couple number four.

Hello, I'm Eileen, this is my daughter Martina,

-and we're from London.

-These are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much, all of you. A very warm welcome to Pointless.

We'll chat to each of you throughout the show as it goes along.

So, that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

As wise as an owl, as cunning as a fox

and as terrifying as a cross between those two animals would be,

if you can imagine, my Pointless friend, it is Richard.

Hiya. Hey, everybody. Afternoon.

APPLAUSE

I think a cross between an owl and a fox would be quite cute,

-don't you think?

-Uh-uh.

A fox that could turn its head round 360 degrees would be quite scary.

Depends which bits you're mixing, Richard, that's the thing.

-But a fox that hooted would be nice.

-Are you crazy? A hooting fox?

-Yeah, a hooting fox.

-The stuff of nightmares.

-You think?

-Yes!

Imagine it hooting with mirth. Hoo-ha-ha!

Now, first two podiums, we have returners,

but they got knocked out in Round One and Round Two last time.

On podium one, very coy when they say work colleagues.

Not just work colleagues. Train driver and train driver instructor.

I mean, I know, right. And welcome to our two new pairs as well.

-It should be a lot of fun, this show.

-Fabulous. Let's find out.

Thank you very much indeed.

Jean and Ray didn't win the jackpot last rime,

which is exciting. That means we add another £1,000 to it,

so today's jackpot starts off at £2,000. There we are.

APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

All you have to remember is the pair with the highest score

at the end of each round will be eliminated. That is it.

That's the only rule. Best of luck to all four pairs.

Our first category today is...

Marine life.

Can you decide in your pairs who's going first, who's going second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

-Richard.

-It's not hugely different to marine life, fish.

-Not really.

But there are other bits of marine life.

On each board, we're going to show you seven clues to types of fish.

You just need the name of the fish.

Seven on each board, fourteen in all to have a go at home.

So, we're looking for the types of fish described by these clues

and here's our first board of seven.

I'll read those all again.

-Gareth, welcome back to Pointless.

-Thank you.

-On podium one, this time.

-Remind us what it is you do, Gareth.

-I'm a train driver.

-A train driver.

-Yeah.

-That's it. In Wales.

-Yeah.

-Taught by David.

-You brought your supervisor along, your instructor.

-My sensei.

Ah, amazing! What type of train do you drive at the moment?

-Very little local passenger trains.

-So, diesel.

-Yeah.

And do you have the skill,

thanks to the excellent teaching of David, to drive all kinds of trains?

I have the skill to drive, cos I drove them before I moved to Wales,

-to help their railway network out a bit with MY skills.

-Wow!

-So their schedules are now just hotting up now you're there.

-Yeah.

People are arriving days before they were expecting to.

-LAUGHTER

-After.

-Oh, right. Now, Gareth, how do we feel about fish?

-I hate fish!

Ah, especially now. What are you going to go for, Gareth?

I think the misleading common name for the Indian fish, the bummalo,

-might be a Bombay duck.

-Bombay duck? Interesting.

I see what you're saying. Yeah, let's see if that's right.

That would be a great answer.

How many of our 100 people said Bombay duck? Is it right?

It is right!

Well done, Gareth. I think this may be a spectacular start to the show.

And it is! 11 points for Bombay duck.

APPLAUSE

That's a great answer, Gareth. Well done for going for it too.

Even better, do you know one of the theories

-why it's called Bombay duck?

-No.

It's named after a train that it used to be transported on.

Genuinely, it used to be transported on a train

called the Bombay Daak, which is the Hindi for "mail",

so it was on the mail train, and it was called the Bombay duck.

Oh, that's just so perfect! It's like a Celtic knot.

-It's beautiful, isn't it?

-Ha! Thanks very much indeed.

-Now, Hannah.

-Hi.

-Welcome back.

-Thank you.

Remind us what you do, Hannah.

-I'm a speech and language therapist with children.

-That's right.

-And what are your interests, Hannah?

-I like musicals.

I like to go and see musicals and listen to that music all the time.

Do you travel up to London or do you go and see musicals all over?

They come to Manchester quite a lot, so we go to them quite a lot.

-Good touring shows.

-Yeah, really good. Saw Chicago last time.

-And do you have a favourite musical?

-Ooh, it's a tricky one.

-Maybe Les Mis.

-Les Mis. You've been to see that.

-Yeah, that was amazing.

-Yeah.

-But I like Mary Poppins as well.

-There you are.

-Anyway, Hannah, what would you like to go for?

-Um...

I think I'll go for the Pixar film and say clownfish.

Clownfish, says Hannah.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said clownfish.

11 is our only score at this stage.

-Ooh!

-38 for clownfish. APPLAUSE

That's another good answer.

They famously move in with anemones and they have to touch every part

of their bodies with the tentacles to acclimatise themselves.

Also, they wear very big shoes.

LAUGHTER Ah.

Thank you very much, Richard.

Now, Bob, a warm welcome to Pointless. Great to have you here.

-What do you do, Bob?

-I'm retired, Xander.

-How nice. What did you do?

I worked in a bank for 26 years and then I ran a decorator's merchants.

That's quite a change of direction. Where was the decorator's merchants?

-On the Isle of Wight.

-Wow, and then up to Ayrshire.

-Yeah.

-You're flitting about, Bob.

-I am.

-This is wonderful.

-But you have now settled in Ayrshire.

-Correct.

-Lovely.

And what sort of things do you like spending your retirement doing?

I'm learning to speak Scottish...

LAUGHTER

Because "I" is pronounced "E".

Fish and chips is now fesh and cheps.

Oh, that IS good. I don't know what he said there.

-Fish and chips, but then...

-It was something.

Something in Scottish and it was just...whoo. That's wonderful.

Now, Bob, what would you like to go for?

I'd like to go for the cold water fish

that gives its name to a Cape in Massachusetts

-and that's Cape Cod.

-Cape Cod, says Bob. Cod.

Let's if that's right and how many of our 100 people said it.

It is Cape Cod. 38 is our h...

No, it's not. 76 is our high score.

APPLAUSE There we are.

A good answer, but so good,

-76 people liked it.

-I know. Cape Cod.

It was named by an English explorer called Bartholomew Gosnold.

Why, in the name of God, didn't they call it Cape Gosnold?

-I think he probably thought that was a bit too...

-Bit showy.

-A bit showy, exactly.

-Thanks very much.

Now then, Eileen, a warm welcome to Pointless.

-Lovely to have you here. What do you do, Eileen?

-I'm retired now too.

I used to be a housing executive.

What sort of things did you do as a housing executive?

Managed properties, people, people's lives, people's properties.

What do you like doing now, Eileen?

I love gardening, I love cooking,

I love looking after my grandchild,

-Um, I love going to the sauna, swimming.

-Lovely.

In over 1,000 shows, that's the first time anyone's said,

"I love going to the sauna." Brilliant!

Eileen, this board is all yours.

If you want to fill in all the as yet unnamed fish,

you'd be extremely welcome.

Um, or not, as the case may be.

Um, is there such thing as a pilchard

which is made in stargazey pie?

I don't know,

but I'm going to go for the great white shark

of the Spielberg thriller.

Right, OK, GWS, great white shark.

Not George Wernard Shaw, as I thought it might have been.

Er, how many of our 100 people said great white shark?

52. Not bad at all. 52 for great white shark, Eileen.

-APPLAUSE

-Well done, Eileen.

Could have made yourself much safer if you'd said pilchard, actually,

cos it's absolutely right. The pilchard in stargazey pie

and that would have scored you 26 points.

A pilchard, essentially, is just a sardine,

but any sardine that's longer than six inches is a pilchard.

Ah, that's good.

Now, let's fill in the last two then. The man's hairstyle is...?

-Mullet.

-A mullet. That would have scored 62.

And Gerry Anderson's show?

-Stingray.

-Stingray, absolutely.

That would have score 18.

So, the best answer on the board, Gareth, is Bombay duck.

-Very well played.

-Very good indeed. We're halfway through the round.

Let's look at those scores.

Gareth, well done. 11, the lowest score of the pass.

Very well done to you.

Then up to 38, where we find Hannah and Kerry.

Then up to 52, Eileen and Martina.

And then all the way up to 76, Bob and Graham.

Graham, let's hope you know your fish,

cos we need a low score from you in the next pass, please.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put seven more types of fish up on the board

and here they are.

I'll read those again.

We made it. LAUGHTER

Martina, welcome to Pointless. Good to have you here.

-What do you do, Martina?

-I, like my mum, I work...

I like your mum too, I have to say! I think she's brilliant!

I have to say that. I love my mum.

I work in social housing as a village manager.

-Did you work with your mum?

-I didn't and, surprisingly,

though my mum's worked in social housing all these years,

I never thought I'd go into the profession of social housing.

You grew up knowing all about social housing.

Yeah, the social housing profession, so...

Did you know some people by repute when you started working there?

Um, in the business, yes,

but not in the organisation that I work for now,

so I have heard, "Are you Eileen's daughter?"

And I say, "That's me." So, hopefully it's a good thing.

-Excellent. Now, Martina, you're on 52.

-We are.

The high-scorers, Bob and Graham, are on 76,

so 23 or less gets you through.

Mm, I know a few of them, but the one I'm going for is C,

the fish name used to describe tricking someone

with a fictional online persona,

and I'm going to go for catfish.

Catfish, says Martina. Catfish. Here's your red line.

If you get below that with catfish, you are into the next round.

How many of our 100 people said it?

-It's right.

-It's right.

-Yes!

-Very well done, Martina, look at that. 15.

APPLAUSE Through you go to Round Two.

67 is your total.

-Very well done.

-Great work, Martina. Very well played.

My daughter's favourite show is that Catfish show

all about people catfishing other people.

-Until this moment, I've never heard that expression.

-Oh, really?

-Yeah.

-I'm such an old fuddy-duddy, I didn't know.

-It's a big deal.

-Yeah, brilliant.

-And you can say "to catfish someone".

-There we are.

Thanks very much indeed.

Now, Graham, a warm welcome to Pointless to you,

here from East Ayrshire. What keeps you busy up there?

Er, I like my gardening.

I've also recently joined a twalking group.

-Twalking?

-Yeah.

-Nothing to do with Miley Cyrus, please.

-That's twerking.

LAUGHTER What does it involve, Graham?

It's just a talking and walking group, so it's a social...

Oh, that's fine, that's fine. Good, good.

-Nothing sordid.

-That's nice.

What a lovely thing to do, twalking. How far do you twalk?

I mean, in terms of distance,

rather than free-ranging around all the subject matter.

Up to about five miles. It's usually a couple of hours.

And if you fall into a companionable silence, does someone say,

"Come on, we're not talking enough!"

-We tend to just then change partners.

-Oh, I see, OK.

-Now, Graham, you're on 76.

-Yeah.

-You are still the high-scorers.

I think I know all bar two of them,

so I'm going to go for one of those two

cos I think I need to try and rescue,

so for the King Henry,

I'm going to go for lungfish.

Lungfish. Lungfish.

No red line for you, as you are the high-scorers.

Let's see how far down the column we get with lungfish.

Ooh, bad luck, Graham,

but admirable tactics. I like what you've done there.

That scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 176.

Had to take a risk, Graham, but not lungfish, I'm afraid.

There we are. Thank you. Now, Kerry.

I have the best news possible for you. You are into Round Two.

Vindication for last time, I'd say. Kerry, remind us what you do.

-I'm an ecologist.

-An ecologist. And we discovered last time

that you monitor bats and newts and badgers.

Does this mostly take place at night?

Certainly bats and badgers are late nights.

Yeah, a lot of it takes place at night,

I can be out at two o'clock in the morning

outside an industrial unit in Manchester,

looking for bats. It's very glamorous.

Do you use sophisticated equipment

-or is it just your eyes and a notebook?

-It's our eyes.

For bats, we have bat detectors,

which pick up the noises we can't hear.

-I'm picturing Ghostbusters.

-Very similar, yeah.

-Fabulous.

You're on 38. Whatever you score, you're through to the next round,

but have some fun with this board.

Again, I know most of them except for two.

I'm tempted, cos we're already through,

go for the bottom one and have a guess.

The Scandinavian dish gravlax.

Is it salmon?

No red line for you.

Let's see how far down the column you get with salmon.

-Oh!

-Absolutely right.

Not bad. 32.

APPLAUSE

Taking your total up to a nice, neat, round 70.

At the Orrin Falls in Ross-shire,

the highest jump they've ever seen a salmon make

was 3.7 metres.

-That's over ten feet.

-Wow!

-That's quite impressive, isn't it?

-Yeah.

They've swum all the way down from Greenland.

They do a lot of swalking though. They swim and talk, to be fair.

LAUGHTER

Thanks very much.

Now, David, your thunder's been somewhat stolen,

but you still have plenty left to give.

Remind us what it is you do.

-I'm a train driver instructor.

-Oh! That's just fantastic, isn't it?

Do you teach all types of train driving, every type of train?

Every type of train that we actually have in South Wales, yes.

-I see, yes. No point learning how to...

-Pendolinos, no.

-Pendolinos, no.

-Never going to touch them.

-The Rocket.

-No point teaching that, I dare say.

-No.

-David, your interests.

You've got it all covered in your job, I'd have thought,

but if you have the room for other interests,

-what would you nominate?

-Gaz here introduced me to geocaching,

-which is a sort of techy hide and seek.

-It is, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-You're following coordinates, are you?

-That's it.

And you get somewhere and you've got to dig, or maybe not dig.

-No, but there's something there to find.

-Is it usually obvious?

No, far from it.

Has it ever been someone hiding behind a lamppost

-with a plate of foam?

-No, I've never noticed that, no.

OK. Now, David, it doesn't matter what you score,

you're through to the next round.

This board's all yours. Talk us through it.

-Bring us the fish.

-So, the flat fish is a plaice.

King Henry I, I think, died of a surfeit of lamprey.

The skipjack, the yellowfin, bluefin, is tuna.

The fish in kedgeree, is it halibut? I'm not sure on that one.

Silvery fish associated with a misleading

or distracting clue is herring.

It doesn't matter, so I'm going to go for the second one down.

-King Henry I died of a surfeit of lamprey.

-Lamprey.

Um, lamprey, says David. No red line for you.

You are already through.

Look at that! 13.

APPLAUSE The two lowest scores

of the entire round, both on this first podium there.

Well done, David and Gareth.

Lampreys evolved 200 million years before the dinosaurs.

-Isn't that incredible?

-Wow, they ducked the meteor!

-They did, yeah.

-Well, they were under water.

-Of course they did. D'uh!

-They're no idiots.

-Yeah.

And gents, you got the best score on both boards there. Terrific.

Very well played in that first round cos that is the best score here.

You were right about plaice at the top.

Plaice would have scored you 59.

You're right about tuna as well.

Would have scored 76. Now, kedgeree.

Not halibut, it's haddock. That would have scored 57.

-I do like kedgeree.

-You like kedgeree, do you?

-Oh, I do!

-And the silvery fish is...?

-Herring.

Of course, which you were right about as well. 56 points.

Thank you very much indeed. We are at the end of our first round

and I'm sorry to say the pair we have to send home

with their high score of 176, it's Graham and Bob.

It's been great having you here.

We look forward to seeing you next time

and I'm sure you'll go much further.

But meantime, thanks very much. Graham and Bob.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

APPLAUSE

Three pairs remain now, and at the end of this round,

we'll have to send another pair away. That'll be sad.

-It will be sad. Let's change the rules.

-Yeah!

-Oh, I'm being told we can't.

-LAUGHTER

Oh, well. Gareth and David clearly the pair to beat.

Our two lowest-scorers, individually and jointly, obviously.

Best of luck to all three pairs. Our category for Round Two today is...

British life. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going first,

who's going second?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

-Richard.

-We're going to show you 16 pictures

of people who featured on the list

of Britain's 500 most influential people,

published by Debrett's in 2016.

Can you identify any of the people you're about see?

Thanks very much indeed. We're going to put this image up.

It's going to stay up for the whole round,

so let's see the image, and here are all those people.

16 of them there. You just have to be able to identify one of them.

Now, Gareth.

Right. There's a few faces there.

I think that I am going to go for

one of the guys in the middle

-as Danny Boyle.

-Danny Boyle, says Gareth. Danny Boyle.

Let's see how many of our 100 people spotted Danny Boyle.

Wow, look at that! 17 for Danny Boyle.

APPLAUSE Very well done indeed.

Well played,.

Oversaw the 2012 Olympics ceremony,

director of Slumdog Millionaire, many other films. Danny Boyle.

Thanks very much.

Kerry, who would you like to go for on our board of influential people?

I recognise quite a few of them

but some of them I just can't get the surnames at all.

I'm going to go for, um, Jess Glynne.

Jess Glynne.

Jess Glynne. Let's see how many of our 100 people got that.

It's right.

21 for Jess Glynne.

APPLAUSE

She was top row, second from the left.

She's had five number one singles already, at time of recording,

number one album. She was going to enter X Factor when she was 15.

She met with the producers and she thought,

"Actually, this is not for me."

-It seems to have worked out for her, I have to say.

-Seems to have.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Martina.

I know quite a few but, again, the surnames have escaped me.

So, I'm going to have to go for

a particularly easy answer,

which is Chris Evans on the bottom row.

Chris Evans, says Martina.

Let's see how many of our 100 people spotted him.

It's right.

APPLAUSE 70. That's a big score

-for Chris Evans there.

-There he is, on the bottom row, Chris Evans.

Cleared out his homes in LA

and London at one point and set up

a market stall in Camden to sell all his stuff.

Thanks very much, Richard. We're halfway through the round.

Let's a look at those scores. 17, Gareth, well done.

Best score of the pass. Gareth and David looking good

for the head-to-head,

as, I would say, are Kerry and Hannah, on 21.

Martina and Eileen, you're quite far out ahead there.

Eileen, let's hope you've got a really good, obscure,

low-scoring answer for the next pass.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, Eileen, high-scorers on 70. Let's have a low score from you.

Who would you like to go for?

Er...I'm going to go for

Karren Brady.

Karren Brady, says Eileen.

Let's see how many of our 100 people spotted Karren Brady.

No red line for you, as you're the high-scorers.

It's right.

Not bad. 28.

98 your total. APPLAUSE

Yeah, there's Karren Brady,

in the bottom right-hand corner.

Thanks very much indeed.

-Now then, Hannah.

-Mm-hmm.

Mm, your target is 76 or less.

I think that's easily doable.

I hope so. Um...

It's between a few. I think I'll go with...

-Ian Hislop.

-Ian Hislop,

says Hannah. Here is your red line. Nice and high.

Get below that red line with Ian Hislop,

you are through to the next round. How many people said it?

It's right.

-And you've done it. Well done.

-Yes! Phew!

40 for Ian Hislop... APPLAUSE

..taking your total up to 61.

Yeah, another very good answer.

He's been a team captain on Have I Got News For You for 26 years now.

-That's a long time, isn't it?

-Isn't it?

-Yeah.

-He's still brilliant.

-Oh, he's amazing.

-Yeah. David.

David, now, actually, you are the last person to have this board.

Your target is 80 or less - eminently doable.

Would you like to have a bit of fun

and read out some names that you can see on that board?

Top row, I only know Tracey Emin in the corner.

We've had Ian Hislop.

Is it Mark Carney who's second in?

Richard Branson.

Dyson on the bottom left,

but I can't think of his first name.

It's Dame Judi Dench. So, my answer

would be...

Tracey Emin.

Tracey Emin, top right, you're saying.

Tracey Emin. There is your red line.

Get below that, you're through to the next round.

How many people said Tracey Emin?

Very well done. It's right

and you're through to the head-to-head. Well done.

Good answer. 24.

APPLAUSE 41 is your total.

Well played. Let's start with that top row.

-Top left, winner of Bake Off?

-Nadiya...

-Nadiya Hussain.

Very well done if you said that.

Would have scored you 6 points.

The pointless answer on that top row

is Adam Crozier, who is head of FA, head of ITV.

The next row, Mark Carney would have been a great answer.

It would have scored you 10 points.

You're right, that is the governor of the Bank of England. Next to him?

-Calvin Harris.

-Calvin Harris, the DJ, yeah.

That would have scored you 10 points as well.

That guy - Gandy, somebody Gandy.

It is somebody Gandy.

-Oh...

-David Gandy.

-Oh, David Gandy, that's it.

-The model.

He would have scored you 8 points.

Next row, Robert Peston, of course, 24.

And then, next to Danny Boyle?

-David Hockney.

-David Hockney.

He would have scored you 3 points.

Richard Branson, who's the high scorer on the board, with 84.

And it's James Dyson. 12 points for that.

And Dame Judi Dench would have scored you 65.

Thanks very much, Richard.

So, at the end of our second round, the pair we have to send home,

with their high score of 98, it's Eileen and Martina. Nothing wrong

with either of your answers, they were just high-scorers.

Chris Evans, big high score, I'm afraid.

We'll see you next time and I'm sure you'll get much further.

-Meantime, thanks, Eileen and Martina.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Congratulations, Gareth and David, Kerry and Hannah.

You're now one step closer to the final and a chance

to play for our jackpot, which currently stands at £2,000.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

This is great. You've made it as far as the head-to-head,

which means you can confer before giving your answers from here on in.

First player to win two questions in this round

will be through to the final to play for that jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Here's your first question and it concerns...

-Chicago, Richard.

-I know, sometimes it happens.

We were talking about you just being to see Chicago

and sometimes questions come up at the right time in the right show.

Not on this occasion cos we're going to ask you five questions

-about the city Chicago, I'm afraid.

-Ah!

Just give us the most obscure answer you can.

Let's reveal our five clues. Here they come.

I'll read those all again.

There we are.

Gareth and David, you're our low-scorers, so you will go first.

INDISTINGUISHABLE DISCUSSION

OK, we think we know a few of the answers,

so we're going to go for the name of the international airport

that opened to commercial traffic in 1955

-as O'Hare.

-O'Hare, say Gareth and David.

Now, Kerry and Hannah,

do you want to talk us through the rest of that board?

-Not really.

-LAUGHTER

They didn't cover this in the musical.

-Shall we just go with the state?

-Yeah.

-The state's Illinois.

Illinois. So, we have O'Hare and we have Illinois.

Gareth and David said O'Hare airport. Let's see if that's right.

It is O'Hare.

22. Not bad at all.

APPLAUSE

Hannah and Kerry, meanwhile, have gone for Illinois for the state.

Let's see if that's right and how many of our 100 got it.

It's right.

42 for Illinois.

APPLAUSE

Well done, Gareth and David, after one question, you're up 1-0.

Yeah, the city lies on the shore of Lake Michigan.

Would have won you the point, actually. 19 for that.

The sport played by the Chicago White Sox is baseball.

That would have scored 67.

And the best answer is the central area.

It's called The Loop, The Loop.

Would have scored you 2 points.

Thank you very much, Richard. So, here comes your second question.

Kerry and Hannah, you answer first,

but you have to win it to stay in the game, so good luck.

Our second question today is all about...

Famous Bobs, Richard.

Five pictures now of people who are called or are known as Bob.

Who is the most obscure?

OK, let's reveal our five Bobs and here they are.

There we are. Five famous Bobs.

We just need to know who they are. Kerry and Hannah will go first.

-E.

-Yeah?

-E.

-Yeah.

OK, we are going to go for E,

Bob Holness.

Bob Holness. OK, now, Gareth and David.

Well, we think that A might be Bob Hope.

B, we've got NO hope with.

-LAUGHTER

-C is Bob Marley.

But I think we're going to go for D, which is Bob Mortimer.

OK, so we have Kerry and Hannah saying Bob Holness.

Let's see if that's right and how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right.

-38 for Holness.

-Well done.

Now, Gareth and David have gone for Bob Mortimer for D.

Let's see if that's right and how many of our 100 people said it.

It is right.

-41, so close!

-Oh!

-Oh!

-Look at that! APPLAUSE

Very well done, Kerry and Hannah.

That's exactly what you needed. You're back in the game.

-After two questions, it's 1-1.

-Great head-to-head, as we expected.

A is Bob Hope, born in Eltham in London. 51 points for him.

B is the former presidential candidate Bob Dole.

Very well done if you said him at home. 7 points.

And Bob Marley, you knew. He's the biggest scorer on the board.

Look at that for a score. 90.

Excellent. Thanks very much indeed. Here comes your third question

to decide who goes through to the final and plays for that jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs. Our third question concerns...

-Dad's Army characters.

-This is a nice way to decide it, I think.

Five dad's Army characters now, but with alternate letters removed.

Can you give us the most obscure of these?

Let's reveal our five characters. Here they come.

There we are. Now, Gareth and David will go first this time.

INDISTINGUISHABLE DISCUSSION

We think we know a few of these

but we're going to go for the fourth one down as Private Walker.

Private Walker. Private Walker.

Now then, Kerry and Hannah, it's over to you.

Can you fill in all the others?

-Captain, what is it?

-Captain Mannering,

Lance Corporal Jones

and Sergeant Wilson.

So, out of the ones we know... OK, we'll take Lance Corporal Jones.

Lance Corporal Jones.

So, we have Private Walker, Lance Corporal Jones.

Gareth and David have Private Walker.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

It's right.

25. APPLAUSE

25 for Private Walker.

Kerry and Hannah, meanwhile, have gone for Lance Corporal Jones.

Let's see how many of our 100 said that.

It's right.

-Oh!

-54 for Lance Corporal Jones. APPLAUSE

Which means very well done, Gareth and David.

After three questions, you're through to the final, 2-1.

Private Walker was the best answer on the board.

They could not have beaten it.

Captain Mannering is the biggest scorer, as you might expect. 77.

Sergeant Wilson would have scored you 37.

-And it's Private...?

-Frazer.

Frazer at the bottom there, played by John Laurie.

He would have scored you 30.

Thank you very much indeed.

So, the pair heading home at the end of our head-to-head,

I'm afraid, Kerry and Hannah.

That was close though, particularly that second question.

It's been wonderful having you across both shows.

Thank you so much. I'm sorry you didn't get through to the final,

but it's been wonderful having you here. Thank you, Kerry and Hannah.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

But for Gareth and David, it's now time for our Pointless final.

APPLAUSE

Many congratulations, Gareth and David.

You've seen off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £2,000.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Very well done, very well done.

Anything you badly want to see come up in this last round?

Questions that have already been asked on Pointless

would be a good round.

-Yeah, what goes around comes around, Gareth.

-Yeah.

As always, you get to choose your category

from the four we put on the board.

Let's hope there's something you like the look of.

Today's selection includes... Not includes, IS...

-Right...

-Yeah.

-Not a great selection for us.

-Oh, I see.

We don't spend a lot of time

reciting romantic poetry to each other.

-Not lately, anyway.

-No. Um, so shall we go for royalty?

-Yeah.

-We can have a stab at royalty.

-OK, royalty, Richard.

OK, very best of luck, gents.

Here are your three questions on royalty.

We are looking for the year of birth of any of the children,

grandchildren or great-grandchildren of Queen Elizabeth II.

So, the years of birth of her children,

grandchildren or great-grandchildren.

We're looking for any country whose head of state

has been on an official visit to the UK since the Queen acceded

to the throne in 1952, right up to January, 2016.

As always, by country, we mean a sovereign state

that's a member of the UN in its own right.

Or we're looking for the first name of any spouse

of anyone who's a sovereign of any of the current monarchies of Europe,

again, in January, 2016, please. So, any of their spouses.

So, the years of birth of the Queen's descendants,

any country that's had an inward state visit to the UK since 1952,

or the spouses of any of the current European monarchs.

-Best of luck.

-As always, you've got up to one minute

to come up with three answers and all you need

to win that jackpot is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yeah.

-Let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

Your time starts now.

OK, I know Prince Harry was born in 1982.

-Well, I think I know that.

-Edward was '64, I think.

-OK.

Was Eugenie born, or one of those ones born in '88?

-That rings a bell for some reason.

-Charles, '48?

-He's older than that.

-1940.

Um...

-Inward state visit...

-King of Tonga?

-Maybe.

-Prince of Monaco.

Yeah. King of Tonga would be as good a guess as any.

Er, I presume like the Netherlands and Spain

and the like have come over.

-I can't think of any...

-Beatrix?

-Is there a Beatrix?

-Beatrix of...?

-The Netherlands, Norway or...?

There is a Beatrix of the Netherlands, I think.

Shall we go with Beatrix of the Netherlands, King of Tonga...

-Ten seconds left.

-And Edward, '64?

-1964.

-Well, we'll have a go at that.

-OK. Yeah.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

OK, it sounds like you've landed on your answers. That's your minute up.

I now need your three answers.

-We think Prince Edward was born in 1964.

-OK, Prince Edward, 1964.

Inward state visit, we're going to go for the King of Tonga.

King of Tonga.

And the spouse of any current European monarch,

-we're going to go for Beatrix.

-Beatrix of...?

-The Netherlands.

-The Netherlands.

OK, of those three, which do you think is your best shot

-at a pointless answer?

-Beatrix, if it's right?

-Yeah.

OK, Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands goes last.

Least likely to be Pointless?

-Prince Edward's birthday, 1964.

-Price Edward, 1964.

OK, let's put those answers up on the board in that order

and here they are.

Very, very best of luck. Three answers on the board.

One of those could easily be pointless

and might win that jackpot for you.

What would you do with your winnings if that were the case, Gareth?

I was thinking, the four of us, lads holiday, you know,

Magaluf, foam party. That's only if we win, mind.

-OK.

-So, bear that in mind.

-OK.

David?

Er, I'd probably go to the USA, Florida, visit some friends there.

Very good indeed. OK, very best of luck. Your first answer was 1964.

In this case, we were looking for the years of birth

of any of the Queen's descendants.

Only one of these has to be pointless

to win that jackpot, remember. 1964.

For £2,000, let's see how many people said it. Is it pointless?

It's right.

If this goes all the way down to zero,

you will leave here with 2,000 quid.

1964 takes us down through the teens,

into single figures. Down it goes.

Still going down.

-Oh!

-Oh, 2!

APPLAUSE

Fantastic score. 1964 taking us right down, oh,

within touching distance of that jackpot.

But I'm afraid, not a pointless answer,

which means everything is now riding on the last two.

Let's hope nobody went with your next answer

which was Tonga.

In this case, we were looking for inward state visits.

King of Tonga you've gone for.

This has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot,

so for £2,000, let's see how many of our 100 people said Tonga.

-Oh!

-Oh, no, not Tonga.

OK, everything is now riding on the third and final answer.

Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands.

In this case, we were looking for spouses

of any of the current European monarchs.

To win that jackpot of £2,000, it has to be correct,

then it has to be pointless. Let's see if it is both of those things.

Queen Beatrix. How many people said it?

-Oh, bad luck!

-Oh!

-Oh, I'm sorry.

APPLAUSE

That was a tough old round, that one.

Yeah, tough category, and I'm afraid you didn't manage to find

that all-important pointless answer,

which means you don't win today's jackpot.

That rolls over onto the next show. But, whoa, right from the get-go,

you two have been fantastic on this show.

Low score after low score after low score.

And that was a game attempt in that round,

but I'm afraid you don't get to take home that jackpot.

However, you do get to take home a Pointless trophy,

-so very well done, Gareth and David.

-Yeah!

APPLAUSE

Very well played, gents. Very unlucky.

We haven't had an official state visit from Tonga, I'm afraid.

And Queen Beatrix, she used to be the Queen of the Netherlands.

She's not any more and wasn't a spouse.

But let's look at the answers that would have won you that money.

Edward and the Countess of Wessex's two children,

born in 2007 and 2003, James and Louise.

And 2010 was when the Queen's first great-grandchild was born,

Savannah Phillips.

So, very well done if you said any of those dates at home.

Inward state visits - loads and loads of pointless answers here.

Mexico was 2015.

There's Afghanistan, Austria, Bahrain, Chile, Egypt,

Ethiopia, Finland, Ghana, Hungary, Indonesia, Iran,

Iraq, Israel, Kuwait, Luxembourg, Malawi,

Morocco, Nepal, Pakistan, Qatar,

Romania, Senegal, Singapore,

South Korea, Sudan, Turkey, Thailand, United Arab Emirates,

Zaire and Zambia. All of those were pointless answers.

Well done if you said any of those.

And the spouses of current European monarchs.

Henrik is married to the Queen of Denmark.

Mathilde is married to King Philippe of Belgium.

Maxima is in the Netherlands, married to Willem.

And Carl Gustaf's wife, Silvia, also a pointless answer.

Also could have had Maria Teresa of Luxembourg and Sonja of Norway.

Very well done if you said any of those at home.

Thanks very much, Richard.

And thanks, once again, to Gareth and David,

who very sadly didn't win our jackpot today.

That means it rolls over onto the next show,

when we will be playing for £3,000.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Join us then to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE