Episode 22 Pointless

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong, and welcome to Pointless,

the show where the aim of the game

is to find the most obscure answer possible.

Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

And couple number one.

Hello, my name's Yoshi, this is my husband, Ulf.

I'm from London and he's from Vaxjo, Sweden.

-Couple number two.

-Hi, I'm Imy, this is my friend, Gerry.

I'm from London and he is from Weymouth.

Couple number three.

Hiya, my name's Dave, this is my sister, Jane,

and we're both from Mansfield.

And, finally, couple number four.

Hi, I'm Richard, this is my brother, Ian, and we're both from Swansea.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much, all of you, a warm welcome to the show.

We'll get to chat to each of you

throughout the show as it goes along.

So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

Quizzes are his bread and butter -

except when he's making bread and butter pudding,

when bread and butter is very much his bread and butter.

It's my Pointless friend - it's Richard.

Hiya. Hi, everybody.

APPLAUSE

-Good afternoon to you, sir.

-Good afternoon.

-This is going to be a high-quality show, I think.

-I think so.

Don't you think? Three returning pairs, we know, er, we know...

Ulf and Yoshi got through to the head-to-head,

very, very strong indeed, Jane and Dave also strong.

Gerry and Imy, you got knocked out in the first round

on that tough, er, the one about Spanish pronunciations,

which was a tough round, I think.

And Richard and Ian, they look like they mean business as well,

-don't you think?

-I think so.

Round One, as soon as it comes up people are going to go, "Ugh!"

I think it's fine, though, but people will go, "Ugh!"

I was waiting for you to come up with a consolation.

I thought you were going to say, "But it's going to be great!"

But it's not, it's going to be...

Well, no, it's... Honestly, it'll be absolutely fine,

but it's one of those ones where you think, "Oh, I... Oh!"

-It'll be fine.

-And at home people will go, "Oh!"

People will be like, "Oh, no, really?!"

-And they'll be like, "Oh... Don't know if I can... Oh..."

-Ah.

-But it'll be fine.

-It'll be fine.

-Oh, yeah, it's going to be fine.

We will all be alive at the end of it...

Everyone is going to know stuff.

ALEXANDER EXHALES DEEPLY Good, thank you very much.

Um... Holly and Jordan won the jackpot last time,

so today's jackpot starts off at £1,000, there it is.

There we go. Now, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

Now, as ever, the pair with the highest score

at the end of each round will be eliminated,

so make sure your answers score as low as they possibly can.

Best of luck to all four pairs. Our first category today is...

ALEXANDER LAUGHS

Even the audience was losing the will to live.

LAUGHTER

Politics, there we are.

Can you decide in your pairs who's going to go first

to answer about Politics, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is.

Here it comes. We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

..as they could.

Yeah, specifically,

we're looking for any leader of the Conservative, Labour or Lib Dem

parties at Westminster, please, who were born in the 20th century.

With the Liberal Democrats, it's from anyone who's led the party

from '89 onwards, so any Tory or Labour leader at any point

who was born in the 20th century,

or any Liberal Democrat leader from 1989.

Thank you very much indeed. OK, Yoshi, welcome to Pointless.

So, yes, Yoshi, remind us what it is you do.

-I work as a consultant in international development.

-That...

But I've taken a slight break at the moment.

Taken a break, that's fun, nice to have a bit of a break from it.

What are you doing with your time in that break?

I'm studying to be a pastry chef.

RICHARD LAUGHS

Now then, do you think this might be a second career?

I have no idea, I don't want to put too much pressure on it, so...

I'm just seeing if I can get through it.

Quite fun, so where are you studying that? In London, or...?

-Yes.

-And in a sort of big professional kitchen?

Yeah, with scary professional chefs.

-Yeah, with a sort of service going on while you're doing it?

-No.

-No.

-You produce the food and then you try to find people to eat it.

-I see.

-I will, very happily...

-LAUGHTER

-Yeah, I'm...

-Anyone? Yeah, yeah.

-AUDIENCE:

-Yes.

But how exciting!

How exotic have you gone so far with your pastry chef-ing?

It's really embarrassing, it's all French names that I can't remember,

so I can remember the bog-standard English one... Yeah.

..which is, it doesn't sound exotic at all, it's a tart,

puff pastry tart, fruit tart, but it's latticed

and it's... it's really...

-It was really good.

-Mm. But it's going well, though?

-Mostly.

-Mostly.

Well, good luck with that. What a fun thing to do.

Brilliant thing, great news for Ulf.

-Yeah.

-Oh...

-Maybe also bad news.

ALEXANDER LAUGHS

-Sorry!

-Now then, Yoshi, what would you like to go for?

-Who would you like to go for?

-I'm just trying to work out whether...

I have a problem that I can make up answers and think they're really...

they're real, and not know they're wrong until you tell me.

I think, a Labour Party leader who died of a heart attack,

he wasn't Labour Party leader very long, was John Smith.

John Smith, says Yoshi.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for John Smith.

It is absolutely right.

Look at that, 13.

APPLAUSE

13. And it's precisely the sort of name you might think,

"Oh, Lord, have I just made that up?" But no, absolutely, you didn't.

Well done, Yoshi. Born in 1938, former Labour leader, John Smith.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

-Now, Imy, welcome back to Pointless.

-Hi.

-Good to have you here.

Good pink flamingos there on the shirt.

Look how well they go with the cerise behind there. Wonderful.

It's all been very carefully thought through, this, Imy.

-Remind us what it is you do.

-So I'm hairstylist.

-A hairstylist, but you work in a salon in Knightsbridge.

-Yeah.

Do you style the hair of gentlemen and ladies, or are you...?

-No, I don't do men's hair.

-OK...

-It's not...

-Yeah, that's my Achilles heel, so...

-Do you have a signature cut?

Is there somebody who would say, "Ah, that's an Imy cut"?

Well, the Chelsea blow-dry, the salon that I work in...

Cos obviously I'm based in Chelsea, in the Royal Borough...

-Yeah.

-Everyone comes in for their, you know,

-the glamorous Chelsea blow-dry.

-Very exciting.

I mean, presumably there are some people

who travel vast distances to have Imy do their hair.

Yeah, I've got clients come from Dubai,

Australia, America, so...

-I'm pretty good, so...

-That's pretty good, yeah.

Good, I'm getting that, I'm getting that, Imy.

Let's see how good you are on this, though.

Leaders of political parties.

How are you feeling about this?

So I want to go for Gordon Brown?

OK, Gordon Brown, says Imy.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Gordon Brown.

It's right.

-Yes!

-13 is our only score at this point. Gordon Brown...

takes us down to 29. APPLAUSE

Born in 1951, the leader from 2007 to 2010.

-Born James Brown, of course.

-Yeah.

-Is his actual name.

-Mm.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

-Now, Jane, welcome back to Pointless.

-Hi.

We had to say goodbye to you at the end of the second round last time,

so we've got to hope to see more of you this time.

-Jane, remind us what you do.

-I'm a therapeutic counsellor.

That's right, up in Mansfield. What are your interests, Jane?

-What do you like doing?

-Um, walking my dog, that we've re-homed, um...

-Lovely.

-And I've got a two-year-old granddaughter, as well.

-So she takes up quite a lot of time.

-Wonderful, what's her name?

-Olivia.

Olivia. Hi, Olivia.

Very good indeed. Now, how are you feeling about our political round?

-Not good. I was going to say Gordon Brown.

-Sorry.

-So, um...

-Tony Blair.

-Tony Blair...

-Yeah.

-..says Jane.

-OK.

-It's probably going to be high, but...

Well, let's see. Gordon Brown scored 29.

Let's see what Tony Blair scores.

Ooh.

67 for Tony Blair. APPLAUSE

Yeah, born in 1953, he was leader from '94,

all the way through to 2007, when Gordon Brown took over.

Good. Now then, Richard, welcome to the show.

Good to have you here, from Swansea. What do you do, Richard?

-I work in the NHS, patient pathway management.

-Right.

What does pathway management...? I've heard that a few times.

It's really not that exciting.

It's basically making sure patients get from one end of the hospital,

out of the other, hopefully in one piece.

LAUGHTER That's interesting.

That is literally the pathway that you oversee?

Yeah, for the ENT Department in one of the Swansea hospitals.

Right you are. OK, what are your interests, Richard?

Football, rugby, travelling...

Very good indeed. Now, how are you feeling about our political round?

Ah... Um, Richard kind of scuppered my plans,

but I think I'm still OK with '89.

Neil Kinnock?

-Neil Kinnock.

-Yeah...

-'89 was just for the Lib Dems.

Yeah, well, in my head, he's a Lib Dem leader.

I could be completely wrong.

-I see, OK.

-I'm pretty sure he is and it was before...

OK, right, let's see how many of our 100 people said Neil Kinnock.

It's right.

Oh, look at that, down to 11 for Neil Kinnock.

APPLAUSE We have a new low score.

Well done, Richard. Yeah, Labour leader,

Labour leader before John Smith, Neil Kinnock.

Thank you, Richard. We're halfway through our first round.

Let's take a look at those scores, 11, as we've just heard,

from Richard, our lowest score of the pass.

Then up to 13, Yoshi and Ulf.

Then up to 29, Imy and Gerry.

Then up to 67, Jane and Dave.

Dave, you are out in front there, so we need a low score from you.

It's going to get harder now, isn't it?

Because there are some big names, I'm sure.

But we have to remember, it's in the 20th century.

So, yes, I'm going to be fascinated to see what happens

in this next pass. Best of luck to all four pairs.

We'll come back down the line -

can the second players step up to the podium?

OK, remember, we're looking for the leader

of any UK political party born in the 20th century.

Now, Ian, welcome.

Welcome to Pointless. What do you do, Ian?

I also work for the NHS, I work for the Welsh Ambulance Service.

-I'm a resource planning coordinator.

-Right.

-Are you based anywhere near Richard?

-No, quite, er...

In the... Well, we're both based in Swansea...

-That's near enough.

-No.

-But you're not... Yeah, nowhere near.

I work in a call centre, um, used to be NHS Direct,

but now we're sort of expanding,

so it's becoming more advanced than NHS Direct. And...

Yeah, I do all the staff's, like rotas, annual leave,

-manage sickness, that kind of stuff.

-Right you are.

OK. Now, Ian, you're on 11.

Your high scorers at the moment are Dave and Jane on 67,

so 55 or less keeps you in the game.

I keep having the answers taken away from me. It's not fair.

So I'm going to go for...

The only one I can remember now is Nick Clegg.

Nick Clegg, says Ian. Here is your red line.

If you get below that red line with Nick Clegg,

you're definitely through to the next round.

Let's see how many people said it.

Very well done.

27 for Nick Clegg.

APPLAUSE

38 is your total - and you are through to the next round.

Yeah, Nick Clegg's still hanging on there.

-27, that's not too bad, is it?

-Not bad.

-Lib Dem leader.

-Yeah.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Now then, Dave, welcome back. So remind us what you do.

-I'm a courier driver, delivery driver.

-A courier driver.

-Is it your own courier firm?

-It is my own business, yes.

-And how many vans are there?

-Just the one.

-Oh, it's just the one?

-Just for me.

-I see. Oh, that's...

Is it emblazoned with something so we can look out for it?

-No, it's just a plain...

-Plain white?

Does it occasionally have witty things written into the dust?

-Oh, yes, yes. "Please pass".

-Always like that gag.

-Now, Dave, what are your interests when you...?

-I like football.

-Mm-hm.

-Er, swimming... I've got four children

that keep me occupied quite regularly.

I've just got a little girl, she's just turned one.

-Lovely. OK, now...

-Very busy.

-Dave, you are the high scorers.

We need a low score from you here.

I noticed you didn't mention politics

-as one of your hobbies there.

-Not at all.

-OK.

Um, I can't really think...

The only one I can think of is...

Ian Callaghan?

Ian Callaghan, says Dave. Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Ian Callaghan.

No red line for you, as you're the high scorers.

No. I'm afraid, Dave, not Ian Callaghan.

I'm afraid that scores you 100 points

and takes your total up to 167.

You're thinking of the Liverpool footballer,

-I'm afraid, Ian Callaghan.

-JANE LAUGHS

Who hasn't yet led a political party.

-More's the pity.

-He's given it a go a couple of times.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-I know the Greens are keen on him.

-Yeah, very keen.

Thank you very much, Richard. So then, Gerry, remind us what to do.

I'm a centre coordinator in Weymouth, in which I teach

adults new skills to help them find work, to get back in to work.

Excellent. And when you're not doing that, what pleases you?

I'm a massive film fan, I go to the cinema all the time,

I listen to music, play my consoles. Nothing too taxing, really.

-So, you know, just to unwind.

-Very good.

Listen, you're going to be in Round Two.

-Cool.

-That's exciting news.

You will be in Round Two, no matter what you score here.

-But I have a feeling you might have a good answer.

-I've got a couple.

I'm going to go for, I'll risk it, I'll say William Hague?

William Hague, says Gerry.

No red line for you, you're already through,

but let's see how many of our 100 people said William Hague.

It's right.

That's a very good answer, Gerry. Down it goes to 12.

APPLAUSE It is, in fact,

our second lowest score of the whole round.

41 is your total, well done.

Yeah, Conservative leader from '97 to 2001.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Now then, Ulf...

we come to you.

Now, I've seen some very good nodding from you as various answers

-have been given, which suggests...

-That was unfortunate.

..you have... No, it just suggests that you have

spread before you in your... palace of the mind.

It is sort of what I work with...

Well, I know it is, I know it is, fair enough. Well, that's true.

So, yes, just remind us what it is you do.

I'm a diplomat working for the Swedish embassy here in London.

That's right, and you're here for not much longer, you think.

No, we have three- to five-year postings, so...

And you've done four years here.

-I think we should try and keep Ulf.

-Oh, we should try and keep Ulf.

Is there any way we can petition to keep you in the country?

You can write a letter to the government.

I would be very happy if you do that.

-If I write it in English, would that be all right?

-That would be OK.

My Swedish is rudimentary at best.

-They would understand, I hope.

-We should do, let's do that.

-Let's do that.

-Don't you think we should keep Ulf in the country?

-AUDIENCE:

-Yes!

-Yeah, I think so.

And could people e-mail, maybe?

They could e-mail and, you know, just leave a message...

Because, also, we'd lose all of Yoshi's new pastries

-and cakes and all sorts of stuff.

-I know.

We're not sending that off... I don't know where it might be next,

do you have any say at all?

Well, we can apply, but you cannot just dictate and say,

"I want to go there and there," but you can sort of...

Do you have areas of expertise that might dictate where you might go?

Not dictate, but it would be a higher chance if you...

I mean, I've worked a lot with south-east Asia,

-so I would have a better chance going there.

-OK.

OK, now, you are already through, Ulf.

-This is the news I have to tell you.

-Yeah.

-You're on 13.

I think if anyone's going to have a nice low score, Ulf,

-it will be you.

-Yeah, the trick is, I think,

-the born in the 20th century.

-Mm.

Because that makes it a little bit more...

Can one say acting leaders of the party?

-No. Just leaders, I'm afraid.

-OK.

Then I'll go for, um, "Iron" Duncan Smith.

OK. Ooh, "Iron", he'd love that. LAUGHTER

Is it Iain...?

We say Iain, but I think "Iron",

-I think, you know...

-I always call him IDS.

-Exactly.

But "Iron" Duncan Smith, he will like that.

Um, Iain Duncan Smith,

no red line for you, you're already through.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Iain Duncan Smith.

Look at that. Look at that, down to 7.

Very well done indeed. APPLAUSE

Takes your total neatly up to 20, the lowest total,

as one might have imagined, of the whole round.

Yeah, he was the Tory leader after William Hague.

He's sort of "Iron", cos he's got the extra I, I-A-I-N.

The Scottish way of spelling Ian.

As I say, look, it sounded like a scary round,

but there's so many names you're going to know in this list. So many.

We'll start with the lower ones, there is one pointless answer,

that's Lib Dem leader Ming Campbell.

Very well done if you said Ming Campbell.

1 point for Alec Douglas-Home,

who was born in 1903, so just scrapes in,

and Hugh Gaitskell was born in 1906, would've scored you 2.

The current leader of the Lib Dems, Tim Farron,

would've scored you 3 points.

3 points also for Michael Howard,

7 for Charles Kennedy and Michael Foot,

11 for James Callaghan, I'm afraid, not Ian Callaghan.

James Callaghan, the Labour leader.

Ed Miliband, 16.

Ooh...

That's show business.

LAUGHTER

21 points for Edward Heath, 24 points for Paddy Ashdown,

24 points for Jeremy Corbyn, as well. Would've scored you 24.

I think it might be the first time he's made an appearance...

-Yeah...

-..on the show. 24.

27 for Harold Wilson,

52 for John Major...

And we'll take a look at the top three, shall we?

Margaret Thatcher would've scored you 62. Tony Blair, 67.

-And remember this guy?

-David...

Dave Cameron, 72 points.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

We are at the end of our first round and we have to say goodbye

to one of our pairs. I'm afraid to say, Dave and Jane,

it is you, we have to send you back to Mansfield.

I'm sorry we don't send you back with trophies

and all sorts of other garlands with you,

but just with our very best wishes.

It's been great having you on the show,

-thanks so much for playing, Dave and Jane.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

APPLAUSE

And look at that, suddenly we're down to three pairs,

and at the end of this round, we will be down to two pairs.

Well, Ulf and Yoshi, once again, very well done.

Lowest individual score with Iain Duncan Smith,

and lowest combined score, too.

Who knows what will happen in this round?

Could be very interesting. Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two this afternoon is...

Phew. The End Of The Alphabet.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second,

and whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

There we are. Richard.

Yeah, on each board we're going to show you six clues,

and the answers to each of those clues either begin X, Y, or Z.

So six on the first board, six on the second,

-12 in all to have a go at at home. Good luck.

-Thanks very much.

OK, so we are looking for the words described by these clues.

And here is our first board of six clues.

There we go. I'm going to read those one last time.

Ulf.

-Yes.

-Mm-hm...

-All these words begin with a X, a Y, or a Z.

-Yeah.

I'll go for the TV show

and say Xena, starts with a X, Warrior Princess.

Xena: Warrior Princess, says Ulf. Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people went for Xena: Warrior Princess.

It's right.

Oh, that's a good answer. Well done.

20 for Xena.

APPLAUSE

Well played, Ulf.

Xena's costume is now at the Smithsonian Institute.

Lucy Lawless donated it.

I presume they were happy.

Do you know, I'm not a watcher of Xena: Warrior Princess,

so I can't picture that costume.

Describe it for me.

It's a sort of...

-Imagine a warrior princess.

-Yes.

-Imagine what she might wear.

-I'm picturing a beautiful dress

with armour plates.

Armour plates, definitely.

-Yeah, not so much... She's not a princess like a...

-OK.

-That's just her heraldic title.

-OK.

-She's more of a warrior than a princess.

-More of a warrior.

-Yeah.

OK. Thank you very much, indeed.

-Um, Imy.

-OK.

So I know the top or the bottom.

I think they're both going to be high.

I'm going to go with xylophone for the musical instrument.

Xylophone, says Imy.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said xylophone.

It's right.

62 for xylophone.

APPLAUSE

I think that was lower than I was expecting.

I thought it was much lower than I was expecting.

I thought that would be very high.

Xylophone is wood and a metal one is a glockenspiel.

Yeah, I mean, xylophone is like the poster object for the letter X.

You would think if there was a round with X words, that might pop up.

-Yeah.

-And it did.

-And it did.

-Yeah.

There we are.

Good. Now then, Ian, this board's all yours.

The X, the Y and the Z.

I think I know all of them.

I think the top one that's left is Zero Dark Thirty.

Then the springy character is Zebedee.

A large domesticated or wild ox is a yak.

And then I really hope I don't get this one wrong.

The Persian king, Xerxes.

Xerxes, says Ian.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Xerxes.

It's absolutely right.

Now 62 is our high score, which you pass, unsurprisingly.

20 is our low score,

which you pass.

Down you go to 12, very well done indeed, Ian.

APPLAUSE

Good work.

Very well played, Ian.

Do you know what, Zero Dark Thirty is actually a much better answer.

-Wow!

-Zero Dark Thirty would have scored you 2 points.

Isn't that amazing? Very well done if you said that at home.

Zebedee. Zebedee scores more than a xylophone.

-LAUGHTER

-Zebedee scores 65.

And the bottom one is yak.

And that would have scored you 50 points.

Thank you very much indeed. We're halfway through our second round.

Let's take a look at those scores.

12, Ian, very well done. The best score of that pass.

Ian and Richard looking like strong contenders for the head-to-head,

as I would say are Ulf and Yoshi.

62, you're a bit ahead there, Imy.

Gerry, we need a nice low score from you. Good luck with that.

We're going to come back down the line -

can the second players please step up to the podium.

OK, let's put six more clues up on the board and here they are.

We've got...

I'm going to read those all again.

There we are. Richard.

You're on 12.

If you can score 49 or less, you are already in the head-to-head.

I'm pretty sure I know all of them.

It's just deciding which one's going to be the lowest,

which I think would be the territory of Canada

that shares a border with Alaska is the Yukon.

Yukon, says Richard. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said it. There's your red line.

Very well done indeed.

26 for Yukon. APPLAUSE

Taking your total up to 38.

Yeah, the border between Alaska and the Yukon

is a completely straight line for 647 miles.

Mmm.

Phew.

There you are. Thank you very much indeed. Now, Gerry.

you are still the high-scorers.

I only know a couple.

Um, the one I'm going to go for,

I hope I'm pronouncing it right is Yosemite for the bottom one.

Yosemite for the national park. Let's see if it's right.

No red line, you're the high-scorers.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Yosemite.

Ooh...

Gerry.

Yes. I'm afraid not Yosemite.

That scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 162.

Yeah, Yosemite in California, I'm afraid.

You definitely won't be the only person who's made that mistake.

I'll guarantee it.

Mm. Thank you very much, indeed.

Now, Yoshi, this board's all yours. You're through.

-You're through to the next round...

-That's a relief.

-..which is great.

Talk us through this board if you can and fill in all the blanks.

I can make up answers.

Of course you can.

The electromagnetic waves is X-ray.

I think that would be high. The Greek pianist,

I just keep thinking really inappropriate cliched surnames.

I'm not going to even try.

Alphabet, I keep thinking of zeta,

but I don't even know if that exists.

I'm going to go for xenophobia for the top one.

OK. Xenophobia, says Yoshi. No red line, you're already through.

Let's see how many of our 100 went for xenophobia.

51. APPLAUSE

51, which takes your total up to 71.

But you are through.

Very safely through, well done.

-You were right about zeta.

-Oh.

That would have scored you 12 points.

Um, the pianist is Yanni.

-He's been on this show before. Not ON the show, but as an answer.

-Yes.

-I still don't really know who he is.

-I don't really know either.

One point for that.

The electromagnetic waves are, of course, X-rays.

It would have scored you 63.

And the national park?

-Yellowstone.

-Yellowstone National Park.

That would have scored you 39.

So Yanni, whoever he is, is the best answer on that board.

Well done if you got that.

There we are. Thank you very much, indeed, Richard.

At the end of the second round the pair we have to send home

with their high score of 162, Gerry and Imy, I'm afraid it's you.

-You did twice as well this show as you did last time.

-Yeah, we did.

It was all good. Brilliant improvement in terms of effort

and attainment there. So well done.

I'm afraid we still didn't get you into the head-to-head.

Never mind, it's been great having you on.

Thank you so much, Gerry and Imy.

APPLAUSE

For the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Richard and Ian, Ulf and Yoshi,

we're now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for the jackpot,

which currently stands at £1,000.

We've reached the head-to-head,

which means you're now allowed to start playing as a team.

You can confer before you give your answers.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Well, Richard and Ian, first time you've been here on Pointless,

straight through to the head-to-head as our low-scoring couple.

Very, very well done, indeed.

Ulf and Yoshi, you've been here before.

In fact, you were our low-scoring couple last time.

So you know what the pitfalls are.

I think this is going to be one of our hardest-fought head-to-heads

we've had for a long time.

Very, very best of luck to both pairs. Let's play it.

Here is your first question.

And, it concerns...

-Richard.

-We're going to show you five pictures now of actors

in action movies but can you name the movies, please?

OK.

So can you name the movies from which these stars come?

There we go.

Five action stars.

Now, Richard and Ian,

you've been our low-scorers so you will go first.

THEY CONFER

We're not certain of one.

We're going for E, Underworld.

E, Underworld, say Richard and Ian.

E, Underworld.

Now Ulf and Yoshi.

-Do you want to talk us through that whole board?

-I think I can.

I think A is Charlie's Angels.

I think B is Jackie Brown.

C is one of the X-Men. I imagine that's the first

and D is The Hunger Games.

But it has to be Underworld.

So hopefully B will be Jackie Brown.

You're going to say B, Jackie Brown.

So we have Underworld and we have Jackie Brown.

Richard and Ian have gone for E and have said Underworld.

Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Underworld.

It's right.

That is a great answer. APPLAUSE

Very well done, indeed. 10 for Underworld.

Ulf and Yoshi, meanwhile, have gone for B and said Jackie Brown.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

Ooh!

-Ooh, I thought it was Jackie Brown too.

-Oh, good!

-So did we.

LAUGHTER It turns out it's not Jackie Brown,

which means very well done, indeed, Richard and Ian.

After one question, you are up 1-0.

Yeah, lots of people will think it's Jackie Brown.

It is Pam Grier who was in Jackie Brown but this is her

a lot younger in Foxy Brown, is the answer there.

Very well done if you said that.

It would have scored you 1 point.

It's a terrific answer.

A is Charlie's Angels.

That would have scored you 29.

C, absolutely right, X-Men.

Halle Berry there.

It would have scored you 22.

And you're absolutely right about D, it's The Hunger Games,

Jennifer Lawrence, and that would have scored you 33.

Thank you very much, indeed.

So here's comes your second question.

Ulf and Yoshi, you get to answer this one first

but you have to win it to stay in the game.

So best of luck with that.

Our second question is all about...

-Richard.

-I'm simply going to give you five clues to discoveries that

happened by accident. Can you give us the most obscure answer, please?

Thank you very much, indeed. OK. Let's reveal our five clues,

and here they come. We have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

Ulf and Yoshi, you will go first.

I think we're going to go for the bottom one

and say Rosetta Stone.

Rosetta Stone, say Ulf and Yoshi.

Now then, Richard and Ian.

Talk us through that board if you can.

Er, the top one, I think, is saccharin.

Penicillin.

-I do not know what that is and I do not know...

-Match.

Yeah. Ah, yeah.

We knew Rosetta Stone, as well.

-Is match going to beat Rosetta Stone?

-No, cos I reckon...

OK, we'll go for the top one, saccharin.

You're going to go for saccharin for the top one.

So we have Rosetta Stone and we have saccharin.

Now Ulf and Yoshi have gone for Rosetta Stone.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people got that.

It's right.

40.

APPLAUSE

What are we thinking?

We think they're going to win.

I haven't got... I've never heard of the word he said, so...

OK, Richard and Ian have gone for saccharin.

Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said saccharin.

Saccharin's right.

And it wins.

Look at that, just - 33.

APPLAUSE Very close, indeed.

My goodness me, but very well done, indeed, Richard and Ian.

It means, after only two questions,

-you are straight through to the final, 2-0.

-Very well played.

He forgot to wash his hands after leaving the lab,

ate some bread and realised it tasted sweet,

the guy behind saccharin.

-Now the drug discovered by Alexander Fleming...

-Is Penicillin.

Yeah, a big scorer there.

86. Now this next one created by chemists etc, etc.

-Is it gunpowder?

-Gunpowder, yeah.

Yeah, is exactly the answer -

it would've been a terrific answer to give.

It would have scored you 22 points.

Ah! No!

And the common name for this...

Matches is exactly the answer and it's the best answer on the board,

as well. It would have scored you 10 points.

He failed to patent it.

Sold his first one in Stockton-upon-Tees in 1827.

Didn't patent it and a Londoner made lucifers,

which are far more famous, and made all the money.

He went off to make whisky instead.

Johnny Walker, yeah. And present radio shows.

-And present radio shows.

-Yeah, he did all right.

Thank you very much, indeed.

The pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

I'm afraid it's Ulf and Yoshi.

Twice in the head-to-head,

twice you performed fantastically right across the show.

And twice, I'm afraid, you've been denied entrance to the grand finale.

I'm so sorry we're sending you home now.

Brilliant to have you on the show, thank you so much, Ulf and Yoshi.

-APPLAUSE

-Thank you for having us.

But for Ian and Richard, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Richard and Ian,

you have seen off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £1,000.

There it is. Well, what a fantastic stealth raid

on the Pointless trophy cupboard there.

Brilliant, you came in...

Our three returning pairs - you saw them all off.

We did feel very bad. We met them in the green room,

they're all lovely but we can't do much about it.

We are Spurs fans so we've been sort of taught to be at the top

and then drop very quickly, so...

-You never know.

-You never know.

Anything you'd particularly like to see come up in this last round?

Spurs.

-Friends, Neighbours, football.

-Tottenham.

-Tottenham.

That's Spurs, yeah.

-OK, there we are.

-If they both come up, that'll be great.

Good luck. As always, you get to choose your category

from the four we put on the board behind me.

Let's see what today's selection looks like. We've got...

-None of those.

-Can we have a new category?

-I'd go for golf.

-Golf.

I think that's the only one I know anything about.

But I don't know an awful lot about it.

-Golf.

-OK, golf it is.

-We're going for golf, apparently.

OK, very best of luck. Three different questions here.

We're looking for any of the following, please.

We're looking for the name of any of the holes at Augusta National,

the home of the US Masters.

We are looking for the name of anyone who's played on five

or more Ryder Cup teams for either side

since 1927 up to the 2014 tournament.

Or we're looking for any countries that hosted an event

on the 2015 European Tour.

So holes at Augusta, golfers who've played in five or more Ryder Cups

and countries that have hosted an event on the 2015 European Tour.

-Very best of luck.

-Thank you very much, indeed.

As always, you've got up to one minute

to come up with three answers. All you need to win that jackpot

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-No.

-Yes.

Good. Let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

OK, holes at Augusta.

Is there one called...?

I'm sure there's lots of names of them,

but I can't think of any off the top of my head.

That might be at the Grand National.

Do the golfers have to have played in the Ryder Cup?

-Yeah, five or more Ryder Cups, yeah.

-Captains don't count?

-Non-playing captains don't count.

-OK.

Poulter would probably have done five, I would have thought.

Davis Love. Someone a bit like...

-Yeah, it doesn't have to be English.

-..Ben Crenshaw.

Someone who got... Like, someone who...

Ben Crenshaw, I think, would be quite a good one.

-..doesn't come to mind when you say golfer.

-Davis Love?

And then countries, I guess we could just guess a country from Europe.

-That might...

-A European Tour country.

Yeah, just guess a European country,

unless we know definite golfers.

Oh, Dad's going to kill us.

Yeah, he is going to be furious if we don't get any of these right.

-So, Davis Love.

-Ten seconds left.

-Ben Crenshaw. And...?

-Ian Poulter?

Yeah, we might as well go for three of them because...

OK, yeah. We've got three answers.

OK, you've got your three answers. There we are. Your time is now up.

If you could tell me the three answers

and say which category each one is,

-that'd be great.

-They are all in

the Golfers Who Have Played At Five Or More Ryder Cups.

-OK.

-We're going for Ben Crenshaw...

-Ben Crenshaw.

-..Ian Poulter...

-Ian Poulter.

-..and Davis Love III.

-Davis Love III.

OK, of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-BOTH:

-Ben Crenshaw.

-Ben Crenshaw goes last.

-Least likely to be pointless?

-Probably Ian Poulter,

-just cos people would have guessed him.

-OK.

Well, let's put those answers up on the board in that order, then.

And here they are. We have got...

Very best of luck. Three good answers on the board there.

If one of those turns out to be pointless

and wins that jackpot for you, what would you like to do with it?

-Richard, you first.

-I mistakenly told all my friends

I was coming on here and they said, if I won the prize,

I had to take them all out for dinner,

so that didn't go down too well.

Luckily, you've only got three friends.

What a relief! LAUGHTER

-Ian, how about you?

-I'd probably put it towards a holiday.

-I haven't been away for long enough, so...

-Very good. Well, best of luck.

Let's hope one of these answers wins that jackpot for you.

Your first answer is Ian Poulter.

In this case - in fact, in all cases -

we were looking for golfers who'd played in five or more Ryder Cups.

Your first answer, Ian Poulter, has to be pointless for you to win.

Let's find out, for £1,000, how many of our 100 people said Ian Poulter.

It's right. Down it goes.

Now, if Ian Poulter takes us all the way down to 0,

you will leave with that jackpot of £1,000.

We go down into the teens,

into single figures. Still going down.

Down it goes to 3 for Ian Poulter.

Not bad at all.

APPLAUSE

That's a great score.

Sadly, not a pointless answer,

so we have to look at your next answer,

which is Davis Love III.

Once again, we're looking for golfers

who have played in five or more Ryder Cups.

Davis Love III has to be pointless for you to win.

So, for £1,000, let's see how many people said Davis Love III.

It's right again. Now, your first answer, Ian Poulter,

took us all the way down to 3.

Davis Love III takes us down through the 20s,

into the teens,

into single figures. Down it goes.

Still going down. We've passed 3.

You've done it!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Oh, very well done indeed. Superb work there.

Very well done indeed. Congratulations.

It was a pointless answer,

which means you go home with our jackpot of £1,000.

Superb work, Richard and Ian.

APPLAUSE

Very well played, gents. Yeah, saw off three returning pairs

and then come through and winning that,

taking that jackpot back to the NHS in Swansea.

Congratulations. Now, let's take a look at the pointless answers

in the different categories, shall we?

Augusta holes -

they're all named after plant life on each of the holes...

Everything apart from Tea Olive, Azalea, Golden Bell,

Camellia and Magnolia.

Everything else was a pointless answer.

Loads and loads of pointless answers in this next category

where you came across Davis Love III.

Not Ben Crenshaw. Played in four. Was also captain, of course.

Darren Clarke played in five, won four.

Jim Furyk - played in nine so far.

He's only won two, which goes to show how dominant Europe have been.

Lee Trevino, Sandy Lyle, Curtis Strange, Dai Rees,

Fred Couples, Gene Littler, Gene Sarazen, Hale Irwin,

Howard Clark, Ken Brown, Lanny Wadkins,

Mark James, Mark O'Meara, Neil Coles.

Padraig Harrington, a pointless answer.

Payne Stewart, also.

Peter Oosterhuis, Ray Floyd, Sam Snead.

Sergio Garcia, a pointless answer. Stewart Cink and Walter Hagen.

Very well done if you said any of those.

And the countries that hosted events.

Lots of these events on the European Tour

are not held in European countries, funnily enough.

A few of those would have been good answers.

Denmark, a pointless answer. So is Mauritius.

That's a nice tour to play on, isn't it? Russia.

UAE held a couple.

Czech Republic, Morocco, Qatar and Turkey -

those were the pointless answers there.

Well done if you got any of those at home.

Thank you very much indeed.

Well, thanks once again to our winning players,

Richard and Ian, who go away with today's jackpot of £1,000.

Very well done. APPLAUSE

Join us next time when we'll be putting

more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE