Episode 4 Pointless


Episode 4

Quiz in which contestants try to score as few points as possible by plumbing the depths of their general knowledge to come up with the answers no-one else can think of.


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Transcript


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APPLAUSE

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Thank you very much indeed.

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Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless,

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the show where the lowest scorers are the biggest winners.

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Let's meet today's players.

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And couple number one.

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I'm Jan, this is my husband Dave

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and we're from Cannock in Staffordshire.

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Couple number two.

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Hiya, I'm Chris and this is Naomy, and we're both students from

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-Brighton and London.

-Couple number three.

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I'm Simon from Birmingham, and this is my girlfriend Zara from Reading.

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And finally couple number four.

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I'm Louis and this is my step-grandfather John

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and we're from South Wales.

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And these are today's contestants.

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Thanks very much all of you. A warm welcome to Pointless.

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We'll get to chat to each of you throughout the show as it

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goes along, so that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

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Currently on the first leg of his premium pedant tour...

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Well, I say tour,

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it's more him screaming at strangers in pub car parks.

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-It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-Hiya.

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Hi, everybody. Good afternoon.

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-Good afternoon to you.

-Good afternoon.

-How are you?

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-I'm very... I'm slightly losing my voice.

-Oh, no. Really?

-Yeah.

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That's... Well, for a man like you, that's important.

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-Yeah.

-You mustn't lose it. What if this is the end now?

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What if it's not just you having a bad day, but this is,

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-it's finally gone.

-That's it.

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-So you can't do another album.

-Another album.

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-Oh, no.

-LAUGHTER

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-That would be awful.

-It'll be fine, Richard.

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I tell you what you should do, just to make sure it's OK.

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After the show, for an hour-and-a-half,

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shout at the top of your voice. That will fix it.

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I'll do that, that's excellent advice.

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And now we only have one returning pair from the last show

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and that's John and Louis on podium four.

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I felt a bit bad because John was very, very unlucky

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in that last show on the chemical elements,

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so I felt a bit bad. So we go along and chat to everyone beforehand.

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Louis said, "Don't worry about that." He said, "I dreamt of John getting 100 points.

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-"I'm over the moon about it."

-Oh, really?

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Hopefully it doesn't happen again.

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I don't know what it is about seeing contestants called John and Louis

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that makes me want to buy a fridge-freezer and some cushions.

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LAUGHTER Never knowingly.

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Now, there we are. Nicky and Rob didn't win the jackpot last time,

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which means we add another £1,000 to that,

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so today's jackpot starts off at £2,250.

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There we are, that's the jackpot. Right.

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If everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

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OK, now remember, the pair with the highest score at the end of

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each round will be eliminated.

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That's it, that's the only rule.

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No conferring till we get to the head-to-head.

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Best of luck to all four pairs. Our first category today is...

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Capital Cities. Can you all decide in your pairs, who's going to go first,

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who's going to go second, and whoever's going first,

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please step up to the podium.

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OK. Let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

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We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many capital cities...

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..as they could. Capital cities alphabetically after London. Richard.

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Yes, simply any world capital whose name comes after London in

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the alphabet, please. As always, they have to be capitals of countries that are sovereign states,

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which are members of the UN in its own right.

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Marvellous. Thank you very much indeed. Dave, welcome to Pointless.

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-Thank you.

-Great to have you here. What do you do, Dave?

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-Retired.

-What did you do, Dave?

-Police officer.

-Ah.

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-Ah.

-Where were you a police officer?

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-Originally in Birmingham City, which is now defunct.

-Mm-hm.

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And West Midlands.

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And that was it for 25 years, basically.

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-And you never did a stint in the Met? No.

-No, no, no.

-No.

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We should point out it's Birmingham City Police that is now defunct,

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not Birmingham City, just in case you scared any football fans.

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-They're working on it.

-OK.

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And, Dave, how do you fill your retirement?

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-Looking after grandchildren.

-Ah! That's nice.

-Cooking.

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How many grandchildren have you got?

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Well, the ones we have to look after is two at the moment.

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I've got one... Five grandchildren.

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I could put him on the spot and ask him to name them, couldn't I?

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He was quite dodgy on the numbers, so the names are going to be...

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Dave, Capital Cities.

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That's the sort of subject some people love and some people hate.

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How are we feeling about capital cities?

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Once the grey cells start to bump together, we might get somewhere.

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Erm...

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-..Oslo.

-Oslo says Dave.

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OK, let's see if that's right.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said Oslo.

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It is right.

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37.

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-37 for Oslo.

-Yes, the capital of Norway, of course.

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The most successful Winter Olympic nation in history.

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Oslo also the name of the new diet drink I'm launching.

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LAUGHTER Excellent.

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-Mm! What flavours are you doing? Are they sweet, savoury?

-Pineapple.

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-Ah!

-Yes, savoury, yeah.

-Savoury. LAUGHTER

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-I think fizzy pork, fizzy beef.

-LAUGHTER

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-And still chicken.

-Still chicken. Still?

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-Still chicken.

-After all these years,

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-still chicken.

-It's still chicken.

-There we go.

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-It's called That's Still Chicken. Mm!

-Naomy, welcome to Pointless.

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It's lovely to have you here. What do you do? You're a student?

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I'm a student, yes, at the University of Surrey.

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-And what are you reading?

-Law.

-Are you enamoured of the course?

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Will you go on into the law, do you think?

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-Yeah. I mean, the dream is to become a solicitor, so...

-It's the dream.

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-Yep, that's the dream.

-And what else do you like getting up to when you're not working at university?

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So in my spare time I'm part of my university's gospel choir,

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so I sing. I'm also vice president.

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Now, in a gospel choir,

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are you ever actually given music

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or are you just given a tune and told...

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free swim, have fun?

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It's a mixture.

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Sometimes we get told to sing what the musical director

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tells us to sing.

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And you always know which part you're likely to take?

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Yeah, we get split up into sopranos, altos and tenors, so...

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-Brilliant! It must just be amazing fun, that.

-It's good fun.

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-Excellent. Now, Naomy...

-Yes.

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What would you like to go for?

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I'm going to go for Reykjavik.

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-Reykjavik...

-Yes.

-..says Naomy.

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Excellent, nice northern European capitals we're hovering round now.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said Reykjavik.

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It's right, 37 is our only score at this point.

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And you pass it comfortably.

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Look at that, down to 10

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for Reykjavik. Very well done, indeed, Naomy.

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That's a great start, Naomy, very well played.

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In 2014, in Iceland, you know whenever we build a new road,

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-there's always environmental concerns and stuff like that?

-Mmm.

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Genuinely, they had to stop building a road because people said

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that elves lived along the route of the road.

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And a lot of Icelanders believe in elves still.

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They stopped construction and an elf mediator came in and had to say,

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"It's absolutely fine, we'll move this boulder," which is where

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the elves live, and the road was allowed to be built.

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It genuinely happened.

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It stopped the construction of a major new road in Iceland.

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-Because of elves.

-Elf and safety.

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LAUGHTER

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Er, now then, Simon, a warm welcome to Pointless.

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-What do you do, Simon?

-I'm a bookkeeper.

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I see. What are your interests, Simon?

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I like cinema, I've started collecting vinyl records

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and I like reading.

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Now, the vinyl record thing,

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have you got a super-duper record player, then?

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Yes, I have the turntable, speakers. I have the whole thing.

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Very exciting. I mean, everyone's rushing back to vinyl, aren't they?

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It's a much more exciting thing, putting vinyl on.

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It's nice to take the time to get it set up, and you get download codes,

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as well, with the records these days, so...

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I think that's the way forward.

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I think you should buy the right to own it and then you can have it

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-in any format.

-Yeah.

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-Once you've got it, that's what I think. Don't you think?

-Yeah.

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XANDER CHUCKLES Richard was just writing limericks there,

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no idea what we're talking about.

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Simon, what would you like to go for?

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-I'd like to go for Riga.

-Riga, says Simon, good answer.

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Let's see if it's right.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said Riga.

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It's right.

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37's our high score, 10 is our low at this point.

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You've past 37.

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You've past 10.

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1! APPLAUSE

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Simon, very well done, indeed.

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1 point for Riga.

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That's a very good answer. Yeah, capital of Latvia, Riga.

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Geographically, we're in very similar places, aren't we?

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-We are, yeah.

-Not you and I, but the answers.

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-Your voice is going...

-It is going.

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Yeah, I can't wait for the end of the show.

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This is going to get worse and worse, I think.

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-Will it still be here by the end of the show?

-Oh, let's hope.

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What happens if I... Yeah...

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What happens if you can't do the final round?

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I've got it covered, we get a trained chimp in.

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Actually, what happens if the trained...

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It's not even that trained, to be honest.

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Just house trained, that'll do.

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Outperformed by a primate.

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Thank you very much, Richard.

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OK, now, John, welcome back.

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Round One we had to say goodbye to you last time.

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-What can I say?

-Oh - yrittium!

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Now, John, remind us what you do?

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I'm a telephone engineer.

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That's right, and what are your interests, John?

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I'm still playing vets' football and I like to play table tennis.

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Now, vets' football, how often do you get together?

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-How often do you do that?

-Every week.

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Is it very good natured and gentlemanly,

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or do the vets get stuck in there?

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It's the same as any sport.

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You like to win, don't you?

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John says with a smile.

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Yes, I know what you mean. John, what would you like to go for?

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I think I'll go for Tallinn.

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Tallinn, they're sticking in very much...

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-Yeah.

-The world's a big place. Anyway, John's saying Tallinn.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said Tallinn.

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It's right. Well, 37's the high score, you pass it.

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1 is our low score.

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And you equal it, look at that. APPLAUSE

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Very well done, indeed, John.

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1 point for Tallinn.

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Well played, John, terrific answer. Yeah, capital of Estonia.

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There we are, thank you, Richard.

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We're halfway through the round, let's take a look at those scores.

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1 - very popular low score.

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The two farthest podiums have gone for it.

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John and Simon, very well done, indeed.

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So, yes, Simon and Zara and John and Louis looking very strong.

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I would say Naomy and Chris are looking pretty strong, as well.

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37, nothing wrong with that as a score, Dave.

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But, er...

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..Jan you find yourselves out in front.

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It falls to you, I'm afraid,

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to come up with a really blindingly low score.

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Good luck with that when we get to you. We're going to come back

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down the line. Can the second players please step up to the podium?

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OK, so remember, we're looking for any capital city that comes

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alphabetically after London.

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Louis, a very warm welcome to you.

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Remind us what you do, Louis.

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I'm a lecturer at university.

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See, that's exciting. And you lecture in?

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Audio music production.

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That's great. How many students have you got on your course?

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In my second year I've got just over 30, and in my first year I've

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-got around 15.

-Fantastic.

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And do you have live projects,

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or actual practical things that you work on with them?

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Yeah, we've got a few live projects.

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One of my main things I've introduced to the course is

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to actually get the students to run a real-life event in

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-a local night club.

-Wow!

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And your night out is at the night club, assessing how well

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they've done it! RICHARD CHUCKLES

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That's nice way of marking work, isn't it?

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-Free drinks.

-Very nice.

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Er, now, then, Louis you're on 1.

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A lovely low score from John in the first pass.

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The high-scorers are Dave and Jan on 37.

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35 or less gets you through.

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OK, I'm going to go with Seoul in South Korea.

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Seoul. Seoul, says Louis.

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Here is your red line. If you can get below this red line with Seoul,

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you are through to the next round.

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Let's see how many people said it.

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Look at that, John and Louis are going through.

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Seoul scores you three. APPLAUSE

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A wonderful low total of 4.

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Very well done on the far podium.

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Well played, Louis, terrific stuff on that far podium from both of you.

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Yes, Seoul. The most famous district in Seoul now,

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wouldn't have been five years ago, Gangnam.

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That's where Gangnam Style came from.

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Been viewed over two billion times on YouTube.

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-Interesting.

-Yeah.

-Thank you very much, Richard.

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Zara, welcome to Pointless, good to have you here.

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-What do you do, Zara?

-I work in customer service.

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Very good, and what are your interests, Zara?

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Um, travelling.

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Um, going to dinner with my boyfriend.

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Oh, that's a nice hobby to have.

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Who cooks when you go to have dinner with Simon?

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Well...

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Do you turn up early in order to make sure you...

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-I did make him dinner just this week, actually.

-Oh.

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I did drop the salmon on the ironing board.

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LAUGHTER

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OK...

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Why don't you put the ironing board away when you're cooking?

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That's how you get a flat fish.

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XANDER CHUCKLES I see.

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Oh, it was Simon's kitchen?

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Yeah, and I thought it would be a good place to plate up the food.

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-Ah...

-And...you know.

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At least it was salmon, so it'll smell nice on all of Simon's shirts.

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-Yeah.

-There we are.

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Now, Zara, you're on 1,

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the high-scorers still Dave and Jan on 37.

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So 35 or less gets you through.

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Well, my mind's gone pretty much blank so I'm going to

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unfortunately let the side down a bit and go for Moscow.

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Moscow, says Zara. Let's see how many of our 100 people said Moscow.

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There's your red line.

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Oh, yes, through you go.

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29 for Moscow.

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Taking your total up to 30.

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Yeah, the capital of Russia, Moscow.

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I've never been. I always think it might be quite forbidding.

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Yeah...maybe.

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-Er, thank you. Now, Chris...

-Hi.

-Welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

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-What do you do, Chris?

-I'm a student.

-And you study?

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-Philosophy and politics.

-Ah, very good. And what are your interests?

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I like film, I like reading.

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So, yeah, I collect comic books, as well.

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How big is your comic book collection, and what kind of

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-comic books do you collect?

-All kinds, really.

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I mean, I'm getting more into independent comic books

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-recently but, yeah, all kinds, really.

-Very good.

0:14:310:14:34

Now, Chris, this is going to be interesting.

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-You're on 10, Dave and Jan are on 37. So 26 or less.

-OK.

0:14:370:14:41

The pressure's mounting slightly as we get to this end of the line.

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-So I'm going to go with Ottawa.

-Ottawa?

-Yeah.

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Ottawa, says Chris. Here is your red line.

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Get below this red line with Ottawa and you're into Round Two.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said Ottawa.

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It's right.

0:15:000:15:01

And you are through. Look at that, 9 for Ottawa. Very well done, indeed.

0:15:050:15:09

19 is your total.

0:15:090:15:11

Yeah, the capital of Canada. Very well played.

0:15:130:15:15

-Queen Victoria chose it as the capital in 1857.

-Thank you, Richard.

0:15:150:15:19

-Now, Jan...

-Hiya.

-I can't bear it.

0:15:190:15:22

The first conversation we have opens with me telling you that this

0:15:220:15:27

is your last round, I'm afraid, because you are the high-scorers.

0:15:270:15:30

Anyway, let's put that to one side for one moment. What do you do, Jan?

0:15:300:15:33

-I'm retired.

-What did you do?

0:15:330:15:35

I was a police officer and also a fingerprint expert.

0:15:350:15:39

-Oh, wow!

-Yeah. I know.

0:15:390:15:42

-These podiums, the stories they could tell.

-Oh, yes.

0:15:420:15:45

-Give me some powder.

-Yeah.

0:15:450:15:48

-Did you and Dave meet in the force?

-Yes, we did.

0:15:480:15:52

We were both on the motorway.

0:15:520:15:54

He was a patrol driver and I was in the control room.

0:15:540:15:57

-Oh, which motorway was it?

-M6.

-Oh, the nicest motorway.

0:15:570:16:01

-We didn't marry on the M6.

-Oh, no, I'm glad. I'm glad.

0:16:010:16:04

Or, if you did, on a slip road, I'd have thought. Yes.

0:16:040:16:07

Now, Jan, what would you like to go for?

0:16:070:16:10

I'm sorry you will be leaving us, even if you find a pointless answer.

0:16:100:16:14

-Of which I'm sure there are plenty.

-There probably are, yes.

0:16:140:16:17

-Ho Chi Minh City.

-Ho Chi Mi...

0:16:180:16:21

-Ho Chi Minh City, yes.

-Vietnam?

0:16:220:16:24

No, I'm aware of that. It's the alphabet bit I'm worrying about.

0:16:240:16:27

-Oh, God!

-Ho Chi Minh City.

-I was going to say Phnom Penh, as well.

0:16:270:16:32

Oh! Well, let's see what happens when I say Ho Chi Minh City.

0:16:320:16:35

-Let's face it, it's not going to change anything, is it?

-No.

0:16:350:16:38

Ho Chi Minh City.

0:16:380:16:39

Oh, well, there we are.

0:16:420:16:44

Ho Chi Minh City, I'm afraid, an incorrect answer.

0:16:440:16:46

-Scores you 100, takes your total up to 137.

-Yes. Sorry.

0:16:460:16:49

Yeah, Phnom Penh would have been a great answer.

0:16:490:16:51

-Phnom Penh would have scored you two points...

-Oh!

0:16:510:16:54

For Cambodia - would have been a lovely one.

0:16:540:16:55

There's loads of pointless answers. Absolutely loads of them.

0:16:550:16:58

Let's take a look at a few of them now.

0:16:580:17:00

Manama, which is Bahrain.

0:17:010:17:03

Podgorica, which is Montenegro.

0:17:030:17:05

Roseau, which is Dominica.

0:17:050:17:07

Skopje, which is Macedonia.

0:17:090:17:12

Tegucigalpa, which is Honduras.

0:17:120:17:15

Tirana, Albania. All of these pointless.

0:17:150:17:17

A few more.

0:17:170:17:19

Ulaanbaatar, which is Mongolia.

0:17:190:17:20

Vaduz, Leichtenstein.

0:17:200:17:22

And Yerevan, Armenia.

0:17:220:17:23

I mean, there are absolutely loads of them.

0:17:230:17:25

Er, Muscat, Mogadishu, Palikir, San Jose, Male, Port Vila,

0:17:250:17:31

Sana'a, Praia, Paramaribo, San Marino.

0:17:310:17:34

Lots and lots of pointless answers.

0:17:340:17:36

Let's take a look at the top-scorers,

0:17:360:17:37

the ones that most of our 100 people said.

0:17:370:17:39

Thank you very much indeed.

0:17:470:17:48

At the end of our first round, the pair who'll be heading home

0:17:480:17:51

with their high score of 137 is Dave and Jan.

0:17:510:17:53

I'm sorry, you've only got here and we're sending you packing. It's been great having you.

0:17:530:17:56

We'll see you again next time, we look forward to that very much.

0:17:560:17:59

-Meantime, thanks so much for playing.

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

0:17:590:18:02

For the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

0:18:040:18:07

Well, three pairs remain and at the end of this round we'll have

0:18:120:18:15

to say goodbye to another pair, but very well done,

0:18:150:18:18

lovely low-scoring in that round.

0:18:180:18:20

You made it through the capitals round,

0:18:200:18:22

some people don't like those rounds. Best of luck to all three pairs.

0:18:220:18:25

Our category for Round Two today is...

0:18:250:18:28

It's Musicians. Can you all decide who's going first, who's

0:18:300:18:33

going second, and whoever's going first please step up to the podium.

0:18:330:18:36

And the question concerns...

0:18:390:18:42

Musical Mononyms.

0:18:420:18:44

Musical Mononyms.

0:18:440:18:46

-We all know what that means.

-Sounds scary, doesn't it?

-Yeah.

0:18:460:18:48

It's not scary at all, I promise.

0:18:480:18:50

On each board we're going to show you six descriptions of

0:18:500:18:52

musicians, each of whom is famously known by just one name.

0:18:520:18:55

You just have to name one of those musicians, please.

0:18:550:18:58

There'll be six on the first board, six on the second.

0:18:580:19:00

12 in all to have a go at at home, very best of luck.

0:19:000:19:02

OK, so we're looking for the names of these artists

0:19:020:19:06

and here is our first board of clues. We have got...

0:19:060:19:08

I'm going to read those all one last time.

0:19:310:19:33

There we go.

0:19:530:19:54

Chris, it falls to you to start this round off for us.

0:19:540:19:57

Oh, wow, OK. I don't know any of them, so that's not great.

0:19:570:20:00

Um...

0:20:000:20:01

Greek-American composer is the one I'm going for

0:20:010:20:03

but I don't know if that's right but I'm going to go for Boy George.

0:20:030:20:06

I don't know if that's right, it doesn't sound it.

0:20:060:20:08

It sounds like two names to me but there we are.

0:20:080:20:10

-Boy George is what you're going for?

-Oh, dear.

0:20:100:20:13

Let's see what happens when we say Boy George.

0:20:130:20:15

I'm afraid...

0:20:190:20:21

I'm trying to think of how many different ways that's wrong.

0:20:210:20:24

-That scores you 100 points, I'm sorry, Chris.

-It's all right.

0:20:240:20:27

I mean, it might be setting a new record.

0:20:270:20:28

We thought Ho Chi Minh City was an unusual answer.

0:20:280:20:32

Yeah, he's not Greek-American, not a composer, not a keyboardist,

0:20:320:20:35

not a former member of Chameleon and not known by one word,

0:20:350:20:38

other than that...

0:20:380:20:39

-Other than that.

-Maybe next year.

0:20:390:20:42

-Not a bad answer.

-Not bad, other than that.

0:20:420:20:45

Zara, we come to you next.

0:20:450:20:47

Thank goodness, because I only know one answer on that board

0:20:470:20:50

and I'm going to go with founding frontman of the Police...

0:20:500:20:55

I'm doubting myself now, but Sting.

0:20:550:20:57

Sting. Sting, surely. Let's see if that's right.

0:20:570:21:00

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Sting.

0:21:000:21:03

It's right.

0:21:040:21:06

82. It's a high one.

0:21:060:21:08

Better than 100, though.

0:21:080:21:11

That is a high one, yeah.

0:21:120:21:13

-It gives a chance to Naomy on the second pass now.

-Yeah.

0:21:130:21:16

That is not far off 100 but it is a correct answer, which is good news.

0:21:160:21:19

Thanks very much, Richard.

0:21:190:21:21

Now, John. John, you're the last person to have this board.

0:21:210:21:23

If you want to go through and fill in

0:21:230:21:25

all those single-word names, you'd be most welcome.

0:21:250:21:28

Um, the Icelandic musician, the only Icelandic musician I can

0:21:280:21:31

think of is Bjork, but I don't think that's right.

0:21:310:21:34

The electronic singer-songwriter that's probably Moby Dick,

0:21:340:21:38

so I'd be guessing at Moby.

0:21:380:21:40

But the pianist is Liberace.

0:21:400:21:42

-I'll take a chance and go with Moby.

-You're going with Moby.

0:21:440:21:47

Moby, says John. Let's see if that's right.

0:21:470:21:49

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Moby.

0:21:490:21:51

It's right.

0:21:540:21:55

Well, 100 was our highest score, 82 our low.

0:21:550:21:58

You've passed both of those.

0:21:580:22:00

Look at that! Moby scoring you 12, very well done, indeed, John.

0:22:000:22:03

I like the way you worked that out, as well.

0:22:030:22:05

Yes, well worked out.

0:22:060:22:08

He sold over ten million copies of his album, Play, Moby.

0:22:080:22:11

-It was ubiquitous at one point.

-It really was.

0:22:110:22:13

You should have more faith in yourself, John.

0:22:130:22:15

Of course you're right about the Icelandic musician, that's Bjork.

0:22:150:22:18

She would have scored you 39.

0:22:180:22:21

The pianist, you're right, would have scored you more points.

0:22:210:22:24

You were right to go to Moby.

0:22:240:22:25

Liberace would have scored 49.

0:22:250:22:28

The Colombian singer?

0:22:280:22:29

Shakira.

0:22:290:22:31

Shakira would have scored you 21.

0:22:310:22:33

-Now, this one some people are going to get wrong.

-Ah.

0:22:330:22:37

-Are you going to say to me Vangelis?

-Yes.

0:22:370:22:39

-You are wrong...

-Oh, no!

-..if you say Vangelis.

0:22:390:22:41

-It's Yanni.

-Yanni.

0:22:410:22:43

Yanni, and it's a pointless answer, so very well done if you said that.

0:22:430:22:46

There we are. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

0:22:460:22:49

We're halfway through the round, let's look at the scores.

0:22:490:22:51

12, John, the best score of the pass.

0:22:510:22:53

John and Louis looking pretty strong at this point.

0:22:530:22:55

Then up to 82, where we find Zara and Simon.

0:22:550:22:57

Then on to Chris and Naomy on 100.

0:22:570:22:59

But Richard's absolutely right.

0:22:590:23:01

Nice, you've got some good company.

0:23:010:23:03

They are just below you.

0:23:030:23:04

So, actually, you're in with a chance here

0:23:040:23:07

if you can find a nice low score. So good luck with that.

0:23:070:23:09

We're going to come back down the line now.

0:23:090:23:11

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

0:23:110:23:13

Let's put six more clues up on the board, and here they come.

0:23:150:23:18

I'm going to read those all one last time.

0:23:430:23:45

There we are.

0:24:050:24:07

Louis, ideally you would score 87 or less.

0:24:070:24:11

Um...

0:24:110:24:12

My family being from Barbados, I've got to go with the

0:24:120:24:14

Barbadian R&B singer being Rihanna.

0:24:140:24:16

Rihanna, says Louis. Here is your red line, nice and high.

0:24:160:24:19

If you can get below that, you are into the head-to-head.

0:24:190:24:22

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Rihanna.

0:24:220:24:24

It's right and you're through.

0:24:260:24:28

56, taking your total up to 68.

0:24:300:24:33

Great work, Louis, lovely reason to give the answer, as well.

0:24:340:24:37

-There's actually a National Rihanna Day now in Barbados...

-Really?

0:24:370:24:40

-..in February. Yeah.

-Really?

-Yeah.

0:24:400:24:42

OK, there we are. Hmm.

0:24:420:24:45

Hmm, thank you.

0:24:450:24:46

Simon?

0:24:460:24:48

Yes, I think I'm going to go for the bassist of the Red Hot Chili Peppers

0:24:480:24:52

and Flea.

0:24:520:24:54

Flea, says Simon. Flea.

0:24:540:24:56

Now, here is your red line. Quite low.

0:24:560:24:59

If you can get below that with Flea, you are in the head-to-head.

0:24:590:25:02

How many of our 100 people said Flea?

0:25:020:25:05

It's right.

0:25:070:25:08

Much lower scoring pass, this one.

0:25:100:25:13

Look at that, 19, you scored.

0:25:130:25:15

APPLAUSE That takes your total up to 101.

0:25:150:25:18

-Puts the pressure on Naomy.

-Doesn't it? Yeah, he's also an actor.

0:25:190:25:23

He's been in two of the Back To The Future films and The Big Labowski.

0:25:230:25:26

There we are, thank you, Richard.

0:25:260:25:28

Naomy... Now, listen, this is very exciting indeed.

0:25:280:25:31

Basically what we're looking for is a pointless answer from you

0:25:310:25:34

-to keep you in the game.

-Ah...

0:25:340:25:36

-I'm afraid you're carrying the can for Chris's Boy George...

-Yeah.

0:25:360:25:40

-..outburst.

-So there are two on there that I think I know.

0:25:400:25:44

OK.

0:25:440:25:45

I'm going to go with the bottom one and say Pink.

0:25:450:25:49

Pink, says Naomy.

0:25:500:25:52

Here is your red line.

0:25:520:25:53

I say here - it's there,

0:25:530:25:56

in a figurative sense. Let's see.

0:25:560:25:58

Pink - how many of our 100 people said Pink?

0:25:580:26:00

14 for Pink.

0:26:100:26:11

APPLAUSE Not bad.

0:26:110:26:14

But it takes your total up to 114.

0:26:140:26:16

Yeah, it's a really nice way to leave us, Naomy.

0:26:160:26:18

Well done, it gives you massive moral superiority over Chris,

0:26:180:26:21

as well. So this evening, you can lay into him all you like.

0:26:210:26:24

Let's fill in the rest of this board,

0:26:240:26:25

there is a pointless answer up there.

0:26:250:26:27

It's not the US singer because that, of course, is Cher,

0:26:270:26:30

and would have scored you 80.

0:26:300:26:33

-It's not The Voice UK coach cos that is...

-will.i.am.

-will.i.am.

0:26:330:26:36

65 for that. But it is the Spanish musician and actress.

0:26:380:26:41

Very well done if you said Charo, a terrific answer.

0:26:410:26:44

There we are.

0:26:440:26:46

Thank you very much.

0:26:460:26:47

Now we are at the end of our second round.

0:26:470:26:50

That means we have to say goodbye to another pair.

0:26:500:26:52

I'm afraid the candidates for that are Naomy and Chris,

0:26:520:26:55

with a high score of 114.

0:26:550:26:57

We'll see you again next time, look forward to that very much,

0:26:570:27:00

but meantime thanks so much, Naomy and Chris. APPLAUSE

0:27:000:27:04

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

0:27:040:27:07

Congratulations, John and Louis, Simon and Zara,

0:27:120:27:15

you're now one step closer to the final and

0:27:150:27:17

a chance to play for our jackpot, which currently stands at £2,250.

0:27:170:27:20

APPLAUSE

0:27:220:27:24

Well, we've made it thus far.

0:27:240:27:25

We are here at the head-to-head,

0:27:250:27:27

which means you can now confer before giving your answers, and

0:27:270:27:30

the first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

0:27:300:27:33

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

0:27:330:27:36

Here comes your first question.

0:27:410:27:43

And it concerns...

0:27:430:27:44

-Richard?

-We're going to show you five pictures now of people in the

0:27:480:27:51

sporting world who were born in 1976.

0:27:510:27:53

Can you identify the most obscure?

0:27:530:27:55

OK, let's reveal our five sports stars, and here they come.

0:27:550:27:58

We have got...

0:27:580:27:59

There we are. Five sports stars born in 1976.

0:28:270:28:29

John and Louis, you're our low-scorers so you will go first.

0:28:290:28:32

THEY WHISPER

0:28:350:28:37

We're going to go with B, Phil Vickery.

0:28:410:28:44

Phil Vickery, say John and Louis.

0:28:440:28:46

Now, then, Simon and Zara, that board is all yours,

0:28:460:28:49

talk us through our sports stars.

0:28:490:28:51

Well, I think I only know two, actually.

0:28:510:28:53

A is Chris Hoy.

0:28:530:28:55

C is Lindsay Davenport.

0:28:560:28:59

And I think we should go for Lindsay Davenport, C.

0:28:590:29:02

OK, C, Lindsay Davenport.

0:29:020:29:03

We have Phil Vickery and Lindsay Davenport.

0:29:030:29:05

John and Louis said Phil Vickery for B.

0:29:050:29:07

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it.

0:29:070:29:10

It is Phil Vickery.

0:29:120:29:13

Down that goes to 3.

0:29:190:29:20

That's a fabulous answer, very well done, indeed, John and Louis.

0:29:200:29:24

Simon and Zara, you have gone for Lindsay Davenport for C.

0:29:250:29:29

Let's see if that's right.

0:29:290:29:30

It is right.

0:29:340:29:35

3 is what it's got to beat.

0:29:350:29:37

Let's see how you do. Still going down.

0:29:370:29:39

17.

0:29:390:29:41

Very well done, two great answers there but, John and Louis,

0:29:440:29:47

after one question, you are up 1-0.

0:29:470:29:49

Yeah, both good answers there, quite a tough board.

0:29:490:29:51

A is Chris Hoy. I think everyone knew that here.

0:29:510:29:55

He would have scored 29.

0:29:550:29:57

Not a bad little score.

0:29:570:29:58

D is Chris Martin from Cold Play.

0:29:580:30:01

It's not really!

0:30:010:30:02

That's our 200-metre paralympic gold medallist, Richard Whitehead.

0:30:020:30:06

Very well done if you said that. A pointless answer.

0:30:060:30:08

And E is Dame Ellen MacArthur.

0:30:080:30:10

She would have scored 12.

0:30:110:30:13

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

0:30:130:30:15

So here comes your second question, Simon and Zara.

0:30:150:30:18

You get to answer it first but you have to win it to stay in the game.

0:30:180:30:20

Good luck. Our second question concerns...

0:30:200:30:23

The number 500. Richard?

0:30:240:30:27

We're going to show you five clues now relating to the number 500.

0:30:270:30:30

We just need the most obscure answer.

0:30:300:30:32

Thank you very much. Let's reveal our five clues, and here they come.

0:30:320:30:35

We've got...

0:30:350:30:37

I'll read those again.

0:30:580:31:00

Simon and Zara, you will go first.

0:31:190:31:20

THEY WHISPER

0:31:210:31:23

I think we'll go for the top one, which, I believe,

0:31:280:31:32

is 500 Days Of Summer.

0:31:320:31:34

500 Days Of Summer, say Simon and Zara.

0:31:340:31:37

Now, then, John and Louis.

0:31:370:31:39

Talk us through the board.

0:31:390:31:41

-I don't know what 500 is in Italian, do you?

-No.

0:31:410:31:44

The animal is a monkey.

0:31:450:31:47

The Tudor monarch is Henry VIII but I'm not 100% sure.

0:31:480:31:53

The Scottish twins are the Proclaimers.

0:31:530:31:55

Go for the fourth one.

0:31:560:31:57

Go on, then, we'll go with Henry VIII, and hope.

0:31:570:32:01

Henry VIII, with fingers crossed, say John and Louis.

0:32:010:32:04

So we have 500 Days Of Summer and Henry VIII.

0:32:040:32:06

Simon and Zara, 500 Days Of Summer,

0:32:060:32:08

let's see if that's right for the top one.

0:32:080:32:10

And it is.

0:32:120:32:13

Not bad, 16.

0:32:180:32:20

16 for the 500 Days Of Summer.

0:32:210:32:23

John and Louis, meanwhile,

0:32:230:32:24

have gone for Henry VIII for the Tudor monarch.

0:32:240:32:27

On the throne 500 years ago.

0:32:270:32:28

Let's see if that's right.

0:32:280:32:30

It is Henry VIII.

0:32:320:32:34

It's a good answer, as well.

0:32:370:32:38

31 for Henry VIII.

0:32:380:32:39

Simon and Zara, you're back in the game. After two questions, it's 1-1.

0:32:410:32:45

And only one answer that would have beaten 500 Days Of Summer, as well.

0:32:450:32:48

We will get to that last.

0:32:480:32:50

The animal, you are absolutely right, is the monkey.

0:32:500:32:53

Would have scored 32 points, so a very similar score.

0:32:530:32:55

-The Scottish twins, of course...

-The Proclaimers.

-The Proclaimers.

0:32:550:32:58

Craig and Charlie Reid, 52 for that.

0:32:580:33:00

I bet you do know the number 500 in Italian.

0:33:000:33:03

-Cinquecento.

-The Fiat Cinquecento is the Fiat 500. Cinquecento.

0:33:030:33:07

That would have scored 9 points.

0:33:070:33:09

Thanks very much, Richard.

0:33:090:33:10

Zoe, here comes your third question, this is the decider.

0:33:100:33:13

Whoever wins this goes through to the final to play for the jackpot. Best of luck to both pairs.

0:33:130:33:17

Our third question is all about...

0:33:170:33:19

Italian artists, Richard?

0:33:210:33:22

We're going to show you the names now of five Italian artists,

0:33:220:33:25

all of whom feature in the book, Lives Of The Artist.

0:33:250:33:27

We've missed out alternate letters from their name.

0:33:270:33:29

Can you fill in those gaps, please? Very best of luck.

0:33:290:33:31

OK, let's reveal our five artists.

0:33:310:33:33

And here they are.

0:33:330:33:35

There we are. Now, then, John and Louis will go first.

0:33:540:33:57

THEY WHISPER

0:33:590:34:01

We'll go for the middle one, Botticelli.

0:34:060:34:08

Botticelli, say John and Louis.

0:34:080:34:10

Now, then, Simon and Zara, do you want to talk us through the others?

0:34:100:34:13

Er, well, a couple of them.

0:34:130:34:15

Um, I think, looking at it again,

0:34:150:34:17

Michelangelo at the top.

0:34:170:34:20

-I'm not sure of the second.

-I'm not sure.

0:34:200:34:23

Raphael for the bottom one.

0:34:230:34:25

Raphael for the bottom, yeah.

0:34:250:34:26

-I think we might have to go for Raphael.

-Yeah.

0:34:270:34:31

OK, Raphael.

0:34:310:34:33

So we have Botticelli and we have Raphael.

0:34:330:34:35

John and Louis said Botticelli - let's see if that's right.

0:34:350:34:37

Let's see how many people said it.

0:34:370:34:39

It's right.

0:34:410:34:43

31.

0:34:460:34:48

APPLAUSE

0:34:480:34:50

Now, then, Simon and Zara have gone for Raphael.

0:34:510:34:54

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 said that.

0:34:540:34:57

This to decide who goes through to the final.

0:34:570:34:59

It's right.

0:35:010:35:03

65 for Raphael, which means very well done, John and Louis.

0:35:040:35:09

After three questions, you're through to the final, 2-1.

0:35:090:35:12

Yeah, Michelangelo wouldn't have saved you either.

0:35:120:35:14

Michelangelo the biggest scorer up there, unsurprisingly.

0:35:140:35:17

That would have scored 80.

0:35:170:35:19

But the other two answers would have seen you through to the final.

0:35:190:35:22

Er, Pinturicchio. Pinturicchio is the second one down.

0:35:220:35:25

That would have scored you one point,

0:35:250:35:27

terrific answer if you got that at home.

0:35:270:35:28

-And do you know the last one?

-Tintoretto.

-Tintoretto.

0:35:280:35:31

Tintoretto would have scored 18.

0:35:310:35:33

Thanks very much, Richard.

0:35:330:35:34

So the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

0:35:340:35:36

I'm afraid, Simon and Zara. Very well played.

0:35:360:35:39

Three correct answers, nice low scores.

0:35:390:35:41

Lindsay Davenport was actually a lovely low score,

0:35:410:35:44

just Phil Vickery pipped you there.

0:35:440:35:46

We'll see you again next time, and I'm sure you'll do just as well,

0:35:460:35:48

if not better. But thanks very much for playing, Simon and Zara.

0:35:480:35:52

For John and Louis, it's now time for our Pointless final.

0:35:540:35:58

Well, congratulations, John and Louis, you have seen off all the

0:36:020:36:04

competition and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

0:36:040:36:08

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

0:36:140:36:16

At the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £2,250.

0:36:160:36:19

This is interesting, a pattern has evolved.

0:36:240:36:26

In the last few shows we've had quite

0:36:260:36:28

a few people who in their first appearance have gone off early

0:36:280:36:31

and then have come back, come through the head-to-head and through

0:36:310:36:33

to the final and done very well.

0:36:330:36:35

So fingers crossed that will be the pattern that holds for today.

0:36:350:36:39

As always, you get to choose the category first from the board.

0:36:390:36:42

We have to hope there's something there you like the look of.

0:36:420:36:45

Today's selection reads like this. We've got...

0:36:450:36:48

It's got to be rugby, hasn't it?

0:36:550:36:57

Rock music, you're on your own, but Six Nations.

0:36:570:36:59

I'll chip in with a try.

0:36:590:37:01

-Six Nations, then.

-Six Nations rugby it is.

0:37:020:37:05

I love the way you at least pretended to think about it.

0:37:050:37:07

I always have all the questions written out and, this one,

0:37:070:37:10

I put all the other ones to that side.

0:37:100:37:11

I knew you were going to go for rugby. How could you not?

0:37:110:37:14

Very best of luck, I think you've got a big chance here.

0:37:140:37:16

We are looking for anybody who was named in...

0:37:160:37:19

England's 2016 Six Nation squad,

0:37:190:37:21

the one that was announced on 13th January.

0:37:210:37:23

Anyone who was named in Ireland's 2016 Six Nations squad,

0:37:230:37:27

announced on 20th January.

0:37:270:37:29

And how about this? We are looking for anybody who was named in

0:37:290:37:32

Wales's 2016 Six Nations squad on 19th January.

0:37:320:37:35

So players in the England, Ireland or Wales Six Nations squads

0:37:350:37:39

that were all announced in January 2016.

0:37:390:37:42

-Very, very, best of luck.

-Thank you. Now, as always, you've got

0:37:420:37:44

up to one minute to come up with three answers, and all you

0:37:440:37:47

need to win that jackpot is for just one of your answers to be pointless.

0:37:470:37:50

-Are you ready?

-Let's do it.

0:37:500:37:52

OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock. There they are.

0:37:520:37:55

Your time starts now!

0:37:550:37:57

We're going for Wales, obviously. There's Jamie Roberts.

0:37:570:38:00

-That won't be pointless.

-Yeah. Leigh Halfpenny.

-Not pointless.

0:38:000:38:04

Who's the fullback that took his place?

0:38:040:38:07

Dan Biggar. No, it wasn't Dan Biggar.

0:38:070:38:10

Dan Biggar probably won't be pointless.

0:38:100:38:16

How about the props?

0:38:160:38:18

There's Hibbert. What's his name? Matthew Hibbert, is it?

0:38:200:38:24

-Matthew Hibbert I think's a musician.

-OK.

0:38:240:38:29

-So, who's the number 8, Toby Faletau.

-Toby Faletau, yeah.

0:38:320:38:36

We'll go with him.

0:38:360:38:38

And, um...

0:38:380:38:40

Who's on the wing?

0:38:400:38:42

Ten seconds left.

0:38:440:38:46

Charteris. We'll go with Charteris.

0:38:460:38:49

Charteris.

0:38:490:38:52

OK. That is your minute up.

0:38:550:38:57

I need your three answers and which category you're answering.

0:38:570:39:00

-The three of them from the Wales squad.

-All Welsh.

0:39:000:39:03

We'll go with Luke Charteris.

0:39:030:39:06

Luke Charteris.

0:39:060:39:07

-Toby Faletau.

-Toby Faletau.

0:39:070:39:10

And who's that fullback?

0:39:100:39:12

-We'll go with Dan Biggar, then.

-And Dan Biggar, OK.

0:39:120:39:14

Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

0:39:140:39:18

-Toby Faletau.

-Toby Faletau.

0:39:180:39:20

-And your least likely to be pointless?

-Dan Biggar.

0:39:200:39:22

OK, well, let's put those answers up on the board in that order.

0:39:220:39:25

And here they are. We have got...

0:39:250:39:27

Well, very, very best of luck.

0:39:320:39:34

Three good answers on the board there.

0:39:340:39:36

What would you do if one of these wins that jackpot for you

0:39:360:39:39

and you won £2,250?

0:39:390:39:41

What would you do with that?

0:39:410:39:43

I think most of it'll go down the pub and the casino.

0:39:430:39:46

Might just squander the rest.

0:39:460:39:48

Louis, how about you?

0:39:500:39:52

I don't think my grandmother would be happy him doing that.

0:39:520:39:54

I'll probably take her out on a spa day, just for putting up with us.

0:39:540:39:58

-Aw...

-Aw.

0:39:580:39:59

Aw, I bet he won't. Still, aww...

0:39:590:40:01

OK, very best of luck.

0:40:010:40:03

Your first answer was Dan Biggar.

0:40:030:40:05

In all three cases, we were looking for players in the

0:40:050:40:07

Wales 2016 Six Nations squad.

0:40:070:40:10

If this is pointless, it wins you £2,250.

0:40:100:40:13

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Dan Biggar.

0:40:130:40:16

Well, it's right.

0:40:190:40:21

All it has to be now is pointless and you'll win £2,250.

0:40:210:40:25

Down it goes.

0:40:250:40:27

Into the teens, right down into single figures,

0:40:270:40:29

down it goes. Fabulous answer, Dan Biggar.

0:40:290:40:32

APPLAUSE

0:40:320:40:33

Scoring you five. That's a great score.

0:40:330:40:37

It's not pointless, though,

0:40:370:40:38

and only pointless answers count in this last round.

0:40:380:40:40

So we have to move on to your next answer,

0:40:400:40:43

which was Luke Charteris.

0:40:430:40:45

Again, we were looking for Welsh squad members for

0:40:450:40:47

the 2016 Six Nations.

0:40:470:40:50

This has to be pointless for you to win the jackpot for £2,250.

0:40:500:40:52

How many people said Luke Charteris?

0:40:520:40:55

It's right.

0:40:580:40:59

Well, Dan Biggar took us all the way down to 5.

0:40:590:41:02

Luke Charteris takes us down through the 40s now,

0:41:020:41:04

into the 30s,

0:41:040:41:05

still going down. Into the teens.

0:41:050:41:07

Into single figures going down.

0:41:070:41:10

Yeah!

0:41:100:41:12

Oh, fantastic. Very well done.

0:41:120:41:16

Congratulations.

0:41:160:41:18

Well, very well done.

0:41:210:41:22

Congratulations, Luke Charteris was a pointless answer,

0:41:220:41:25

which means you go home with that jackpot of £2,250.

0:41:250:41:27

Very well done, indeed, John and Louis.

0:41:270:41:29

That turned out nicely, didn't it?

0:41:330:41:34

Very well done, exactly what grandfathers should do for grandsons, as well.

0:41:340:41:37

Congratulations, terrific stuff.

0:41:370:41:39

Loads of pointless answers all over the place.

0:41:390:41:41

Actually, Toby Faletau wasn't, he would have scored you one point.

0:41:410:41:44

There'll be loads of others you do know, and you got the one.

0:41:440:41:46

That's the important thing. That 60 seconds is so hard.

0:41:460:41:49

Let's start with the England squad.

0:41:490:41:51

You'll see immediately huge names here on the board for the

0:41:510:41:54

England squad. Everyone apart from

0:41:540:41:56

Dylan Hartley, Owen Farrell, Robshaw, Tuilagi,

0:41:560:41:58

both Vunipolas, Ashton, Youngs,

0:41:580:42:01

Launchberry, Brown and Courtney Lawes.

0:42:010:42:03

Everyone else was pointless.

0:42:030:42:05

Every other answer was pointless there for England.

0:42:050:42:08

For Ireland now.

0:42:080:42:09

Lots of other pointless answers.

0:42:130:42:15

McGrath, Madigan, Marmion, Fitzgerald, Jackson, Ruddock,

0:42:150:42:18

Herring, Cronin, O'Donnell - all of those pointless answers.

0:42:180:42:21

Very well done if you said any of those.

0:42:210:42:23

And now for the Wales team.

0:42:230:42:26

Again, there'll be lots of names you know here.

0:42:260:42:28

You could have had

0:42:300:42:31

Aaron Jarvis, Bradley Davies, Dan Lydiate, Dominic Day,

0:42:310:42:34

Gethin Jenkins, Matt Morgan, Rob Evans, Samson Lee, Tom James,

0:42:340:42:37

Tomas Francis, Tyler Morgan - loads and loads of pointless answers

0:42:370:42:41

but you only needed one and that was Luke Charteris. Congratulations.

0:42:410:42:44

-Thanks.

-Thanks very much Richard.

0:42:440:42:45

Thanks to our winning players,

0:42:450:42:47

John and Louis, who go away with today's jackpot of £2,250.

0:42:470:42:50

Very well done. APPLAUSE

0:42:500:42:53

Join us next time, when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge

0:42:550:42:58

to the test on pointless.

0:42:580:42:59

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

0:42:590:43:01

And it's goodbye from me, goodbye.

0:43:010:43:03

Quiz in which contestants try to score as few points as possible by plumbing the depths of their general knowledge to come up with the answers no-one else can think of. Presented by Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman.


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