Episode 55 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed. Hello. I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless,

the show where the aim of the game is to score as few points as you can,

and you do that by coming up with the answers no-one else can think of.

Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hi, I'm Philippa and this is my husband, Chris, and we're from South Shields.

Couple number two.

Hello, my name's Andy.

This is my lifelong friend, Mark, and we're from Southend in Essex.

Couple number three.

Hi, my name's Stephanie. I'm from Sheffield.

This is my friend, Beth, and she's from Manchester.

And, finally, couple number four.

I'm Helen. Hello.

This is my daughter, Claire, and we're from Woking.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much, all of you.

A very warm welcome to Pointless.

Lovely to have you all there.

We'll get a chance to chat to each of you throughout the show as it goes along,

so that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

If, at first, he doesn't succeed,

he changes the rules and declares victory.

It's my pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya. Hey, everybody.

-Hiya.

-APPLAUSE

Ah, this is a good group, isn't it?

-Yeah. I think so.

-I instinctively...

We know the first two podiums already,

Philippa and Chris and Andy and Mark,

although they got knocked out very early on, both teams, but we know them.

We know them like brothers and sisters and welcome,

four new sisters on the podiums three and four.

This is going to be great, right?

-Oh, I think so.

-We've got Sheffield, we've got Manchester,

we've got Woking, we've got Southend.

What are we missing, right? Nothing.

Nothing at all. Nothing at all, apart from an update on the jackpot.

-Oh, yeah.

-Which I can now bring to you.

The story is, Natalie and Jan won the jackpot last time,

so we start off with a jackpot of £1,000.

-That's nice. There we are.

-That is nice.

-And two jackpot wins in a row as well.

-Yes.

And these things often go in runs as well.

Yeah. And then as often, don't.

-Yeah, sometimes...

-It can take some money off.

-Sometimes they don't.

I'd hedge my bets a bit on that.

We should start charging £1,000 to every winning couple who doesn't win.

Oh, that would add some jeopardy, wouldn't it?

That would be really good. "And your category is Latvian pottery."

Yes!

Thank you very much indeed.

So, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

As ever, the pair with the highest score at the end of each round will be eliminated,

so just keep your scores nice and low and you will be fine.

Best of luck to all four pairs.

Our first category today is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who is going to go first,

who is going to go second

and whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. And the question concerns...

-Richard.

-Yeah, we are simply going to give you seven clues

on each board to famous people who were born or raised in Yorkshire.

Who are they, please?

Thanks very much. Let's reveal our first board

of seven Yorkies, and here they are.

I will read those all one last time.

Philippa, welcome back. Good to have you with us again.

Remind us what you do, Philippa.

So I am an accountant,

but I'm currently just finishing a year of maternity leave.

A year. Oh, must be nice to have a year off.

-How old is your baby now?

-So just coming up to 11 months.

-11 months, OK.

-Yeah.

Oh, that's going to be quite tough, that first day back.

-Yeah, I think it's kind of a big break to have a full year of work.

-Yeah, yeah.

So it feels like you're starting a new job again.

Do they introduce you back into work gently?

-No, no.

-No, straight back in the deep end.

-Straight back in, yeah.

-Good luck with that.

Now, Philippa, what are you going to go for on our board?

So I think I only know a couple and I think they are both quite obvious,

so I'm going to go for

magician and television personality who married

his assistant Debbie McGee and say Paul Daniels.

Paul Daniels, says Philippa. Let's see if it's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Paul Daniels.

Wow, 87.

87 for Paul Daniels.

Yeah, he was the first-ever magician from outside the US to be given

the Hollywood Magician Of The Year award in 1983.

Gives you some indication of what a talented magician he was.

-He was an extraordinary magician.

-Yeah, exactly.

-Quite apart from being an entertainer, he really, really... He could really do it.

-Amazing.

Mark, welcome back.

Good to have you here from Southend.

-Remind us what you do, Mark.

-I work in project and programme management.

Very good. Now, Mark, your interests when the management is behind you.

-Yes.

-What do you like getting up to?

-Well, I'm a published author twice over.

What about that? Tell us about your books.

Well, my first book was A Man And A Pram,

about my 5,500 mile walk across three continents around the world.

Did you say A Man With A Pram?

-A Man And A Pram.

-A Man And A Pram.

-Yes, indeed.

-Well, what was in the pram?

My backpack, because I found it was easier to push than carry.

-Also you found traffic stopped for you more readily as you went across.

-Yes.

-Very clever.

-Absolutely.

Very clever, a pram pack.

How many miles did you say?

5,500 in total, I walked from London to Moscow, Melbourne to Sydney,

then across America, LA to New York and then I finished off Land's End back to London.

How extraordinary. How long did the whole thing take you?

It's 14 months.

-That's good going.

-Imagine if he said a week and a half.

-Motorised pram.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

Now, what would you like to go for, Mark?

OK, I'm looking at this and I'm thinking

I really should have spent more time in Yorkshire, but just looking down the list,

I'm going to go for the author of Wuthering Heights as Emily Bronte.

Emily Bronte, says Mark.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Emily Bronte.

87 is the highest score, which we pass.

71 for Emily Bronte.

Quite a high score there, too.

Yeah, another big scorer. It's amazing her name recognition.

It's her only ever novel and she is so famous.

Amazing to think what she would have achieved as well.

She died at 30. Imagine the school days she could have

ruined for everyone else with four or five other novels.

-Stephanie, welcome.

-Thank you.

-Good to have you here. What do you do, Stephanie?

-I'm a legal adviser.

-In Sheffield?

-I am indeed, yeah.

What... You advise people to do what?

Or not to do what?

Just trade union members, usually advice, family law, probate,

-things like that.

-I see.

Very good indeed. And what are your interests, Stephanie?

I just like going out for dinner, holidays,

you know, all the extravagant things.

Perfect. Perfect. Now, Stephanie, what would you like to go for?

This is slightly embarrassing

because I am actually from Yorkshire,

but they were like the two answers that I knew.

So I'm going to go for Brian Blessed, Flash Gordon and Tarzan.

OK, Brian Blessed, says Stephanie.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Brian Blessed.

It is Brian Blessed.

And it's our lowest score so far. Very well done indeed, Stephanie.

30 for Brian Blessed.

He was born in Mexborough, Brian Blessed.

In 2011, York University,

they had a study space they wanted a name for and the students named it

the Brian Blessed Centre For Quiet Study.

LAUGHTER

-That's nice, isn't it?

-Oh, yes.

I presume he's heard about that.

I imagine he has.

Good luck with the quiet study. There we go.

Thank you very much indeed. Now then, Helen, welcome to Pointless.

Good to have you. From Woking.

Helen, what keeps you busy in Woking?

Well, I've just recently retired.

I'm a nurse and I just recently retired and I now like travelling.

That's fun. Have you made lots of travel plans for your retirement?

-I have.

-There are various places you are longing to go to?

Yes. No, I've been to quite a few places this year.

I've been to Greece, south of France, Mexico and Ireland.

Nice of you to stop off and see us.

But I'm hoping to go to Australia next year.

Very good. Good luck with that.

Now, Helen, this board is all yours.

Would you like to fill in all our blanks for us?

Well, I would love to, but I think I just know, I know one definitely,

Jeremy Paxman.

The other one I'm going to try and take a punt on and that's the bottom one,

and that's William Wilberforce.

William Wilberforce, says Helen.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said William Wilberforce.

It's right. Well, 87 was our highest score and you pass that.

30 is our low, you land at 45. Not bad at all.

Let's fill in this Yorkshire board, shall we?

-The author...

-JB Priestley.

JB Priestley. Turned down a knighthood and a peerage, JB Priestley.

42 points for him.

-The female pilot?

-Amy Johnson.

Is Amy Johnson. She would have scored 40

and you're quite right about Jeremy Paxman

and he would have scored 50 points.

Amazing he's been doing University Challenge over 20 years.

I know. I didn't know that. There we are.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. So we are halfway through the round,

-let's take a look at those scores. 30, Stephanie, well done.

-Thank you.

Best score of the pass. Then up to 45 where we find Helen and Claire,

then up to 71, Mark and Andy, and then Philippa and Chris are on 87.

So, Chris, we need a low score from you. Good luck with that.

We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put seven more clues up on the board and here they are.

Famous people from Yorkshire, each and every one of them.

I'll read those all again.

-Claire, welcome to Pointless.

-Yes, thank you.

Lovely to have you here. Now, what do you, Claire?

I work for an airline at Heathrow Airport.

So you are based at Heathrow?

-Yeah, I'm on the ground.

-You never get airside?

Oh, no, I'm airside, but not actually in the air.

Oh, so you see lots of happy people about to get on flights...

-Absolutely.

-Talking excitedly about holidays.

-Yeah.

-Trying to control their children,

and then you wave them off and you go back. Oh, that's it.

So what bit do you do?

What's your role?

I'm the supervisor, so if there's any problems,

I'm the person who you'd come to.

-So you're at the gate?

-I'm at the gate and I'm at check-in.

Different shifts, different days.

Ah. Ah, well, that's fun, though.

Yes, it is. Every day is different.

-I bet it is.

-Yeah.

-My goodness.

Now, Claire, you are on 45.

The high scorers are Chris and Philippa on 87,

so 41 or less gets you through.

What would you like to go for?

Um...

I'm going to go for the Labour Prime Minister.

And it's going to be Harold Wilson.

Harold Wilson. Here is your red line. If you get below this red line

with Harold Wilson, you're into Round Two. How many people said it?

It's right.

83. There we go.

That takes your total up to 128.

Yeah, well played to our 100 there,

that's a big score for Harold Wilson.

-Born in Huddersfield.

-Thank you very much, Richard.

-Now, Beth.

-Hello.

-Welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

-Good to have you here. What do you do, Beth?

-I'm a legal executive.

-Are you in the same sort of...?

We worked at the same firm, but then I moved to the Manchester office.

When did you move to the Manchester office?

-Last year.

-And they said to you, "You've got to go to Manchester"?

No. It's a different job that I applied for and got the, yeah,

-got the move.

-I see. OK. And the move has been all right?

-Yeah, it's quite jolly.

-It's nice, Manchester, plenty going on there.

-Yeah, there's lots going on.

-Good. Good.

-Now, what are your interests, Beth?

-Lots of eating and drinking

-and lounging around.

-Perfect.

I'm not a hobby person.

-"What are you doing?" Lying around is one of the...

-The best hobbies!

-..the best hobbies you can have.

30 is your score, so 97 or less is your target.

I think I'm going to go for the playwright and author

and say Alan Bennett.

Alan Bennett, says Beth.

Here is your red line, lovely and high.

Get below that with Alan Bennett and you are through.

Had a small panic there.

47 for Alan Bennett.

Not bad at all. 77 is your total.

Yeah, and he's another Yorkshire playwright

who turned down a knighthood, Alan Bennett.

Born in Armley in Leeds.

Thank you very much, Richard.

Andy, welcome back to Pointless.

Remind us what you do, Andy.

Yeah, I'm an orthotics technician.

So I manufacture all casting devices.

These are sort of insoles for people's shoes, to correct their posture.

That's it. Bespoke for people, yeah.

Yeah, brilliant. And what are your interests, Andy?

Loads over the years. Mostly re-enactments.

Andy would be brilliant in a re-enactment!

-Amazing.

-What sort of...?

I used to be in a...

-Civil War?

-Yeah, American Civil War.

Very good. What sort of things do you wear?

What do you do to your beard, for example?

Pretty much grey as we were Confederates.

OK. Do you ever plait the beard, weave it?

No, that wasn't in the Confederate army.

It was probably a Viking thing, I think.

Still, I don't think anyone is going to mind.

Absolutely not, yeah.

So when you do that, I mean, is it basically a scrap?

Is it hard not to get your...?

Yeah, it's all taken from all the drill books of the times,

so you learn how to line up and present your muskets.

Yeah, yeah, all the lining up and all the kit and everything,

-and then you just go... Rrr!

-Yeah, basically.

Do you ever find yourself getting a little bit cross?

-All the time.

-Your blood is up?

Yeah, that's it. Especially on the losing side, yeah.

Interesting. Now, Andy, what would you like to go for?

-Your current score is 71, so if you can score 56 or less...

-OK.

..you are into the next round.

I think there's a couple I'm OK with, but to be absolutely sure,

I think I'll go with the player who has captained,

managed the England national football squad is Kevin Keegan.

Kevin Keegan is what Andy is going to go for.

There is your red line coming on now.

Get below that red line and you're through.

61 for Kevin Keegan.

Taking your total up to 132,

still very much in the game.

Yeah, born in Armthorpe, South Yorkshire.

He is the only English player to win the Ballon d'Or twice.

Yeah. Name another. You can't.

-I cannot.

-Good luck. There isn't one.

Good. Thank you. Chris, welcome back.

Here from South Shields. Also an accountant, we discovered last time.

Now then, Chris, what do you like getting up to when you're on holiday?

What are the sort of things you like to do? What would you ideal holiday be?

My ideal holiday, somewhere with nice food, my family,

somewhere where it is not too much time on a plane with two young kids,

-so somewhere...

-Oh, yes.

-I don't know if that place exists.

Sort of place where if you were getting on an aeroplane,

you would hope someone nice would wave you off at the gate,

someone who looked after you from the minute you checked in.

That's right, yeah.

That's the kind of holiday. Yeah. OK, now, you are on 87.

This is exciting. 44 is what you have to score.

Above 44, we say goodbye to Chris and Philippa.

Below 44, we say, hello, Round Two.

Um...

I think I know a few, I'm just trying to work out

which one would be the lowest scorer.

Um, I'll go for the bottom one,

so the frontman of Pulp is Jarvis Cocker.

Jarvis Cocker. Here is your red line.

Get below that red line, you are into the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Jarvis Cocker.

You've done it. Just! You needed 44, you got 43.

130 is your total.

APPLAUSE

Goodness me, look at those top three scores there. 128, 130, 132.

That is very, very close.

If you'd gone for the one above, which is Patrick Stewart,

we'd be in lockdown, because that

would have scored you 45 points.

The Pop Art movement, A Bigger Splash?

-David Hockney.

-David Hockney.

Would have scored you 25, would have seen you through,

and this next one would have seen you through, actually.

-Geoff Boycott.

-Geoff Boycott, yeah.

Would have scored you 33.

There we are. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So at the end of our first round, the pair we have to send home

with a high score of 132, Andy and Mark, I'm sorry it's you.

Nothing wrong with either of your answers,

they were just quite high scorers, I'm afraid.

But it's been great having you on the show,

thank you so much for coming along and playing. Andy and Mark.

APPLAUSE

But for the three remaining pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And so we are suddenly down to three pairs.

Obviously at the end of this round,

we have to say goodbye to another pair. Philippa and Chris!

Ooooh!

-Just.

-Well done. Well done.

Just made it into Round Two.

Great to have you with us. Stephanie, our lowest

individual scorer of that round, and Stephanie and Beth

our lowest combined scorers in fact. So very well done on that. Brilliant.

Our category for Round Two today is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who is going to go first,

who is going to go second, and whoever is going first, please, step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is.

Here it comes. We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

..countries with consecutive vowels in their name as they could.

Right. Richard.

Yes, simply looking for any country in the world

whose usual short form name in English contains anywhere in its name just two vowels in a row.

Don't have to be in the right order, just two vowels next to each other,

anywhere in their name, please.

As always, by country, we mean a sovereign state

-that is a member of the UN in its own right.

-Thank you very much indeed.

-Philippa?

-I'm not a very good speller,

so I'm going to give it my best shot, but I'm going to say Paraguay.

Paraguay, says Philippa.

Paraguay is getting you a nod from Chris as well.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went with Paraguay.

Oh, look at that, down to two!

Very well done indeed, Philippa.

That's a lovely, lovely low score.

2 for Paraguay.

That's a very good answer, yeah.

It's got a U and an A next to each other at the bottom there.

And it's named after... Paraguay is named after the Paraguay River,

and the Paraguay River is named after the Paraguay people,

and Paraguay means the people who live near the river.

LAUGHTER

So... Come on, Paraguay, put some work in.

LAUGHTER

Thank you, Richard. Stephanie.

I am going to go with Belgium.

Belgium. Now, hiding close to home. It's the last place we will look.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Belgium.

It's right.

Look at that. Belgium down to 10.

Yeah, they hold the world record for a democracy going

without an elected government,

if you remember that time they couldn't form a government.

589 days they went without a government.

Doesn't seem to have done them that much harm, I have to say.

-Good civil service.

-Belgium?

-Yeah.

-Yeah, just let them get on with it.

Yeah, fine. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Now, Helen.

-Croatia.

-Croatia, says Helen.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Croatia.

It's right.

10 is our high score, 2 is our low.

Croatia...

Look at that, down to 2.

Very well done indeed, Helen.

Yeah, that manages to pack two lots of different consecutive vowels

into just seven letters.

-I know.

-That's really good going for the Croatians.

-It is.

-They've got over 1,000 islands, Croatia.

And, you know, also just so many consecutive vowels as well.

Those are the two big exports from Croatia -

islands and consecutive vowels.

Yeah. We're halfway through the round,

let's take a look at our scores.

Only two scores between the three pairs.

2 is the low score, Helen and Claire, Philippa and Chris.

Very well done indeed. And then 10 is where we find Stephanie and Beth.

So, Beth, yes, you know.

-You know what I'm going to say. Good luck.

-Thank you.

We come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

-So then, Claire...

-Yes.

-Remember,

any country with consecutive vowels in its name.

Uruguay.

Ah.

Uruguay. Well, here is your red line.

If you can get below this red line with Uruguay,

you will be going straight through to the head-to-head.

How many of our 100 people said Uruguay?

It's right.

And look at that, down you go to 4.

4 for Uruguay, taking your total up to 6.

It's the only country in the world whose name in English

has the same letter three times in its first five.

That fact you can have. That's even better than the Paraguay fact.

I think I'll keep them together.

My Uruguay and Paraguay facts, keep them in the same little box.

And Paraguay named Uruguay.

They said, "We're Paraguay, Uruguay."

They just said that they had it, you know, "You take that."

Uruguay could do nothing about it.

Uruguay went, "There's a lot of Us there in the first five letters,"

and Paraguay said, "Honestly,

"that will come in handy one day, I promise.

-"Someone will remark upon that at some point."

-Yeah.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Now then, Beth.

Yes, the moment has come.

Beth, do you know what?

I reckon there will be some pointless answers.

-Somewhere.

-I'm going to say Mauritania.

-Mauritania.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-I don't know if that's even a country.

I know why you're saying it, I can see why you are saying it.

-Yeah.

-We can try it. Let's see what happens. Come on.

There's no red line for you as you are the high-scorers.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Mauritania.

Look at that.

We've just got to hope it goes a long way down,

and it does!

Goes all the way down -

very well done - to zero, Beth.

It's a pointless answer, it adds £250 to today's jackpot,

takes your total up to £1,250, scores you nothing,

which is exactly what you needed cos it leaves your total at 10.

-Very well done.

-Yeah, very well played, Beth.

That's a terrific answer.

Used to be part of French West Africa

until it gained independence.

It's an answer we don't often get on the show.

-No, we don't.

-So very nicely done.

Overlooked. Yeah, very good.

Well done. Now, Chris, we have a game on our hands.

7 is what you have to score.

-I mean 7 or less, you understand.

-Right!

I'm going to go for Eritrea.

Eritrea, says Chris.

Here is your red line.

If you get below that, you are through to the head-to-head.

How many people said Eritrea?

It's right.

You've done it! Down to 3 for Eritrea.

Very well done indeed. Takes your total up to 5.

That is so good.

Very nicely played. Before we read the pointless answers,

there's so many 1-point answers.

I'll try and read them all out, but there's loads of them -

loads of answers and lots of low scorers.

1 point for Cambodia, Guinea, Antigua and Barbuda,

Macedonia, Ukraine,

Haiti, Gambia, Indonesia, Estonia,

Serbia, Namibia, Mongolia,

Albania, Guinea-Bissau, Ecuador,

Armenia, Vanuatu - Vanuatu! -

Equatorial Guinea, Colombia,

Saudi Arabia, Somalia and Georgia.

Those are your 1-point scorers.

Let's take a look now at the pointless answers.

Very well done if you said any of these.

Also could have had Cote d'Ivoire, East Timor,

Micronesia, Mozambique,

St Lucia, Samoa, Sao Tome and Principe,

and Sierra Leone, and of course Mauritania.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, the pair we have to send home with their high score of 10...

I mean, that's a very low score to be calling a high score,

but I'm afraid it is our high score.

Belgium, I'm afraid, was the big one there.

And a pointless answer from you as well, Beth.

But I'm afraid we have to say goodbye to you now.

-We'll see you again next time.

-Thank you!

-Look forward to that.

Beth and Stephanie, thank you.

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Helen and Claire, Philippa and Chris.

You are now one step closer to the final and a chance to play

for that jackpot which currently stands at £1,250.

Well, we are now at the head-to-head.

This means you can start playing as a team,

you can chat before you give your answers, and the first pair

to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Now, Philippa and Chris, you have not been this far before.

It was Round Two we had to say goodbye to you last time.

Helen and Claire, straight through,

straight through on your first appearance on Pointless

to the head-to-head.

There's only one point dividing you, that's how close it's going to be,

so very, very best of luck to both pairs.

Let's play the head-to-head.

Here is your first question, and it concerns...

-Claire already thrilled about that.

-Excellent!

-Richard.

We're going to show you five pictures of people who've won

the Formula 1 World Championship,

can you name the most obscure of these, please?

Thanks very much indeed.

Let's reveal our five Formula 1 champions, and here they come.

We've got...

There we are. Five Formula 1 champions.

Helen and Claire,

you are our low-scorers, so you'll go first.

OK. I know the faces of all of them.

C, I just can't think of the name.

What one do you want to go for?

A.

OK, A, Jackie Stewart.

A, Jackie Stewart, say Helen and Claire.

Now then, Philippa and Chris,

do you feel like talking us through that board?

-Not particularly.

-Well, I don't know any, so...

I don't know many. I think... We think we know B.

I think... Well, that might be Fernando Alonso.

I would be totally guessing the others, so we'll go for B,

-Fernando Alonso.

-B, Fernando Alonso.

So we have Jackie Stewart and Fernando Alonso.

Helen and Claire said Jackie Stewart.

Let's see if that's right for A.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

I hope I'm right.

It is Jackie Stewart.

42 for Jackie Stewart.

Meanwhile, Philippa and Chris have gone for B and Fernando Alonso.

Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It is Alonso.

And that wins you the point. Very well done indeed.

Down it goes to 14.

Good answer from Philippa and Chris.

You only knew one, but it was good enough. And it means that,

after one question, you are up 1-0.

It's a lovely answer, very well played.

Yeah, the best answer on the board is C,

which is Jacques Villeneuve.

Son of Gilles Villeneuve, would've scored you 8 points.

Next to him is Sebastian Vettel.

And he would have scored you 17 points.

Had an extraordinary career.

He was the youngest person ever to score points in a Formula 1 race,

the youngest person ever to be Formula 1 world champion,

youngest person to be two-time world champion,

to be three-time world champion, and youngest person to be

four-time world champion.

That's pretty good going, isn't it?

That's good. Still only 14 as well, which is amazing.

Amazing. Incredible what he's done.

And the final one, of course, is James Hunt.

And he would have scored you 47.

Thank you very much indeed. OK, now, here comes your second question.

Philippa and Chris, you get to answer it first.

But, Helen and Claire, you have to win it to stay in the game.

A little bit of pressure on you now.

Good luck. Our second question today is all about...

-Richard.

-Yes, simply five clues now to facts about paper.

Can you give us the most obscure answer?

This is exciting.

Five facts about paper.

Here are the clues.

We have got...

I'll read those all again.

There we are. Philippa and Chris,

you will go first.

SHE WHISPERS

Could be.

We only really know the top one, and we don't know the others,

so we're going to take a guess at the third one down

and say that a name used in printing to describe

a unit of 500 sheets of paper is a ream.

A ream. A ream, say Philippa and Chris.

Now then, Helen and Claire, do you want to talk us through that board?

Origami for the top one.

Litmus paper for the acidity levels.

-BOTH:

-And Ryan O'Neal.

Which would you like to go for?

I think we should go for Ryan O'Neal.

Yeah. We'll go for Ryan O'Neal.

You are going to go for Ryan O'Neal for Paper Moon.

So, we have ream and we have Ryan O'Neal.

Philippa and Chris went for ream.

Let's see if that's right for 500 sheets.

It is ream.

53 for ream.

Meanwhile, Helen and Claire have gone for Ryan O'Neal.

Let's see if that's right for Paper Moon,

let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It is right.

And it gets you back in the game.

Well done. Down to 36.

Well done, Helen and Claire.

After two questions, it's one-all.

You would have scored even fewer for litmus. I mean, not crazily fewer,

it would've scored you 34.

Origami is obviously a very big scorer up at the top there.

Would have scored you 86.

And the best answer is MIA,

and she would have scored you 8 points.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. So here comes your third question.

This is the decider. Whoever wins goes through to the final

and plays for that jackpot. Best of luck to both pairs.

Our third question is all about...

-Richard.

-We are going to show you the names now of five

of the most requested composers on Desert Island Discs,

but they are in anagram form.

Whichever team unpicks them and gives us the best answer

is going through to play for the jackpot. Good luck.

Thanks very much indeed.

Let's reveal our five anagrams, and here they are.

We've got...

There we are. Helen and Claire will go first.

-Go with Tchaikovsky, I think.

-No,

I think that's easier cos it's got "sky" in it.

I think we should go...

-OK, if you want to. Well, we only know the easy ones.

-Yeah.

OK, we're going to go for Tchaikovsky, at the bottom.

Tchaikovsky for "havoc sky kit".

And, Philippa and Chris, what would you like to go for?

We'll go for Schubert.

-First one.

-For the first one, Schubert.

So we have Tchaikovsky and Schubert.

Helen and Claire said Tchaikovsky.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

42 for Tchaikovsky.

Philippa and Chris have gone for Schubert for "butchers".

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people got that.

It is Schubert.

And, yes,

that is a better score.

21. Very well done indeed, Philippa and Chris.

That means, after three questions, you are through to the final, 2-1.

Yeah, Schubert is the best answer on the board.

You couldn't have beaten it.

The most requested composer are on Desert Island Discs

-is number two...

-Mozart.

Mozart, yes, would have scored you 64 points.

Next to that, "lager" is Elgar.

Which would have scored you 37.

And the second-most requested composer on Desert Island Discs...

-Beethoven.

-Beethoven. And he would have scored you 48.

Thank you very much indeed.

So the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

I'm afraid to say, Helen and Claire, our low-scorers.

But the good news is we get to see you again next time.

-BOTH:

-Thank you.

-And I'm sure

they'll do just as well then, if not better.

-But thanks very much indeed, Helen and Claire. Thank you. BOTH:

-Thank you.

But for Philippa and Chris, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Philippa and Chris.

You fought off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £1,250.

Well, I have to say, your first answer of the show was Paul Daniels.

How far we've come since then!

-I know.

-My goodness.

I thought we were going home.

Once I'd said that, I was like, "That's it."

Well, fabulous to have you with us.

What would you like to see come up in this last round?

I think something for Chris on sport, probably.

-I think that's our best chance.

-Yeah, maybe.

OK. Chris, do you want to nominate something for Philippa?

Reality TV maybe, or celebrity something.

-Famous Yorkshire-born magicians.

-LAUGHTER

Let's keep our fingers crossed that something on this board

appeals to you. Today's selection looks like this. We've got...

Yeah... We know what we are going for.

We'll go Euro 2016 squads.

OK. Euro squads it is.

OK, very good luck. Real chance here, I think, with this question.

We are looking for any of the following, please.

We are looking for any of the players in the 23-man squads

at Euro '16 of Wales,

of Northern Ireland

and of Ireland, please.

So any of the 23 players in the Wales,

Northern Ireland or Ireland squads at Euro 2016.

-Very best of luck.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

Now, as always, you've got one minute to come up

with three answers, and all you need to win that jackpot is for just one

of those answers to be pointless. Are you ready?

-Yep.

-Good. Let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There you are. Your time starts now.

OK, so I think of...

Obviously, Jonny Williams in the Wales squad, I think.

And Conor Washington might be a good one.

Northern Ireland.

Daryl Murphy, Republic of Ireland.

I think Northern Ireland is a good one to go for,

if I can think of some more Northern Irish players.

Yeah, just have a think.

They all sound good to me.

I don't know any of them, so...

You just go ahead and think.

I'm at a bit of a blank.

Steven Davis.

So you said...

Hal Robson-Kanu -

he scored a few goals, so he's probably quite well-known.

Who else?

Neil Taylor.

In the Wales squad.

We'll definitely go Conor Washington.

Conor Washington, Neil Taylor...

-Ten seconds left.

-What was the first one you said?

Daryl Murphy might be a good one.

Daryl Murphy.

Or shall we go Jonny Williams instead of Neil Taylor?

-Sounds good.

-OK, that is your time up.

Let's have your three answers

and which category you are answering.

So Jonny Williams.

-Jonny Williams.

-For Wales.

-Conor Washington.

-Conor Washington.

For Northern Ireland.

And Daryl Murphy for Republic of Ireland.

Daryl Murphy. Of those three,

which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-I think Conor Washington, probably.

-Connor Washington we put last.

Least likely to be pointless?

Jonny Williams. I've got a horrible feeling that's not his name, but...

Jonny Williams. OK, we'll put him first.

OK, well, let's put those answers up on the board in that order, then,

and here they are. We have got...

Well, three answers there.

What if one of these turns out to be pointless

and wins that jackpot for you, £1,250?

A nice jackpot to be taking home.

Philippa, what would you like to do with that?

So we've had a lot of work done on the house recently,

and we've had loads of support from our family,

so we would like to treat them, I think.

-That's nice.

-Yeah.

-Very nice.

What sort of level of treats are we thinking here?

I mean, if it was a huge jackpot, it would be something bigger,

but maybe we'll all go for a nice meal or we'll go away somewhere.

-Something like that.

-Chris, what would you like to add to that?

-No, I agree with that.

-You couldn't really add to that,

-"Yeah, I'd like a motorbike!"

-Go away somewhere for a weekend, yeah.

OK, well, very best of luck. Three good answers on the board there.

Jonny Williams was your first answer.

In this case, we were looking for members of the Welsh squad

of the Euro 2016 finals.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Jonny Williams.

If it is pointless, it will win you £1,250.

It's right.

All it has to be now is pointless

and you leave here £1,250 the richer.

Down it goes, through the teens.

Jonny Williams takes us into single figures,

still going down, down it goes to 1!

OK.

That's a very good first answer.

Down to 1. Superb low score there.

Irritatingly, we only accept pointless answers

in this last round, but it's good.

I think it sets the scene very well for your subsequent answers.

Daryl Murphy was your next answer.

In this case, we were looking for players

in the Republic of Ireland squad for Euro 2016.

If Daryl Murphy is pointless, it will win you £1,250.

How many of our 100 people said Daryl Murphy?

It's right.

Your first answer, Jonny Williams,

took us all the way down to 1.

Daryl Murphy now takes us

down through the 20s and the teens,

into single figures, down it goes.

Daryl Murphy still going down...

You've done it! Very well done indeed!

Superb. That's fantastic.

-Very well done.

-Thank you.

-Brilliant.

-Thank you so much. Thank you.

Well done. Well done.

Very well done. Congratulations.

Daryl Murphy was a pointless answer,

which means you go home with our jackpot of £1,250.

Very well done, Philippa and Chris.

Very nicely done. Very well played, Chris. Remind us, Chris,

who Daryl Murphy signed for after the Euros?

I can't remember. Oh, it's Newcastle.

That's exactly who he signed for.

Very well played. Conor Washington would have scored you 3 points.

Would have scored you 3 points, so well done, Daryl Murphy.

Lots of pointless answers in the different categories.

I know people got some at home.

Let's go through the Wales squad first.

There's a name here you mentioned, you talked yourself out of,

it was Neil Taylor. He was a pointless answer.

James Chester. Andy King,

a pointless answer, the Leicester midfielder.

You also could have had David Cotterill,

George Williams at Fulham and Owain Fon Williams as well.

All of those were the pointless answers.

Let's take a look at the Northern Ireland squad.

Another former Fulham player there, Aaron Hughes.

Jamie Ward, Roy Carroll, Stuart Dallas.

You could have had Alan Mannus, Conor McLaughlin,

Corry Evans, Lee Hodson, Luke McCullough.

Michael McGovern, a pointless answer.

Paddy McNair, a pointless answer as well. And Shane Ferguson.

And finally, the Ireland squad.

Lots of names here.

Ciaran Clark, David Meyler, James McCarthy...

Johnny Walters is a pointless answer,

Aiden McGeady is a pointless answer. Cyrus Christie, Daryl Murphy,

James McClean... Jeff Hendrick is a pointless answer.

Kieren Westwood, Richard Keogh, Shane Duffy,

Stephen Quinn and Stephen Ward, all of those are pointless answers.

Very well done if you said one at home.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

And thanks once again to our winning pair, Philippa and Chris,

who go away with today's jackpot of £1,250.

Join us next time when we'll be putting

more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.