Episode 24 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong, this is Pointless,

the quiz show where obscurity counts for everything and high scores count for nothing. Let's meet the players.

So, welcome, Melanie and Beryl. You're our first pair.

-How do you two know each other?

-We're mother and daughter. Hopefully you can tell which one's which.

I can, I can.

-Beryl, what's she talking about, "hopefully"?

-No idea.

I can see just about, yes. Where have you come from?

-I come from St Albans and Beryl comes from Fareham in Hampshire.

-Very good.

Very best of luck to you on the show this afternoon.

Welcome back to Kirsty and Mike. You were on the show last time. We give everyone two chances.

-This is your second chance. Remind us how you did.

-Well, where do I begin?

It was a disaster. Dad was fantastic, he did really well,

and it came to me and I'm afraid I played it so safe.

But that safe girl's gone and I'm in it to win it today,

-so we're going to make things change.

-OK.

-Mike's saying absolutely nothing.

-He's not allowed to. He's been prepped.

Very best of luck to you. James and Tom, welcome. How do you know each other?

-We're housemates at university.

-Which university?

-University of Sheffield.

-How long?

-Two years together.

-Two years. You very competitive?

-Unbelievably competitive between each other.

-OK. As a team, you're going to be unstoppable.

-I hope so.

-Right.

Very best of luck to you. Finally, we've got Mike and Steve. How do you know each other?

We're certainly not father and son. We work for each other.

For each other? That's a nice symbiotic setup.

We work for a training and conference centre in Sheffield.

Very best of luck to all of you. We'll find out more about you later.

Just one more person to introduce, a one-man lexicon of obscurity, my Pointless friend Richard.

APPLAUSE

-There's only one returning pair today, Kirsty and Mike. Kirsty's up for it.

-Isn't she?

-Mike looks terrified.

-I'm worried about what she said in the dressing room.

Mike looks like he's had Alex Ferguson screaming at him for half an hour.

Do I come across that badly?

We've got a tough first round, then a nice pop culture second round.

So something for everyone if you want to get through to the head to head.

OK, thanks, Richard. We put all our questions to 100 people before the show

but this is Pointless, so we are after the obscure answers that those 100 people didn't get.

To stay in the game with a chance to win our jackpot, all our players need to do

is score as few points as possible. Everyone wants a pointless answer,

an answer none of our 100 people gave. Every time that happens,

we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Nobody won the jackpot last time, so we will add another £1,000.

Today's jackpot starts off at £2,250.

AUDIENCE: Ooh!

Absolutely. Right, let's play Pointless!

In the first round,

each of you must give me one answer and you cannot confer.

The team with the highest score

at the end of the round will be eliminated.

Please be careful. If anyone gives me an incorrect answer, they will score the maximum of 100 points.

OK, our first category this afternoon is...

Decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many realms of the Commonwealth as they could. Richard.

We're looking for any country in the world that has Queen Elizabeth II as its reigning monarch.

By country, we mean member of the UN, and this is as of April 2010.

Any country that has Queen Elizabeth II as its reigning monarch.

There we are. Melanie and Beryl, you all drew lots before the show, and you get to go first.

Beryl, how good is your Commonwealth knowledge?

-So-so.

-Oh, that's good. I take that as a good sign.

Anyone else would've said, "Rubbish". It's black or white in the Commonwealth category.

Realms of the Commonwealth. Any country that you think Nicholas Witchell might have...

I think there's two I can think of that I think might be obscure.

I'm going to go for it. I'm going to go Mauritius.

Mauritius. You're hoping to score as few points as possible.

Let's see if it's correct and, if it is, how many people said Mauritius.

Oh, no!

Unfortunately, Mauritius is a wrong answer.

That means you score the maximum 100 points.

-Mauritius.

-Yes, very unlucky, Beryl. Mauritius is a republic.

I imagine the Queen wishes she was the monarch of Mauritius.

I'd have a palace there rather than Sandringham.

Bad luck, Beryl. Exactly the right sort of spirit,

-exactly the wrong answer.

-Yeah, sure!

-Kirsty.

-Hello.

-Time to show your mettle, Kirsty. We are looking for a nice, obscure Commonwealth realm.

-OK.

I'm probably really going to die of embarrassment when this gets played back.

The Falkland Islands.

The Falkland Islands? It seems reasonable.

OK, let's see if it's correct and, if it is, how many people said the Falkland Islands.

No!

-High-scoring round.

-THEY LAUGH

Unfortunately, the Falkland Islands is a wrong answer, as well.

-Richard, what's going on?

-Could not be higher scoring. Very exciting.

Come on, guys, don't let us down, you two. Let's have some more 100s.

-It's not a country.

-There's a clue in the title.

-Yeah. It's a dependency, I'm afraid.

-Oh.

-Sorry.

-Oh, dear. James.

James, James, James. 100, 100 and James.

We're looking for an obscure Commonwealth realm.

Well, I thought I had quite an obscure one,

-but in the light of the previous two getting 100s, I'm going to go for a safe bet.

-OK.

-I'm going to go with Australia.

-OK.

You are hoping Australia will score you as few points as possible. Let's see. Australia.

It's right.

That scores you 70, James. Our best score yet. Richard.

It's a big score but it's miles in front.

-Way ahead.

-Yeah, Queen Elizabeth is still the head of state in Australia.

This is as of April 2010.

And her interests are looked after by Governor General Quentin Bryce. Do you know what's unusual about him?

-Quentin Bryce?

-Yeah.

He was... He's a woman.

He is a woman. He is a woman.

-The first ever woman to hold the post.

-First ever woman to hold the name Quentin!

Must be, yeah.

Thank you very much, Richard. Good score, James. Our lowest so far.

Steve, how good is your Commonwealth knowledge?

We're looking for realms of the Commonwealth.

I'm trying to think of all the pink bits on the map, but that's going back a long time.

I'm thinking safe. I'm going to go Canada.

OK, you're saying Canada. You're hoping this is an obscure answer to score as few points as possible.

Let's see how many people said that. Canada.

A good answer, Steve! Look at that. Canada scores you 39.

Yes, she's also the head of state in Canada.

Her interests are looked after by Governor General Michaelle Jean.

OK, let's look at the scores. We're halfway through the round.

As I said, very high-scoring round.

Melanie and Beryl and Kirsty and Mike both on 100.

At least there's two of you. That takes the curse off it slightly.

Steve and Mike are looking very good on 39. Lovely low score there.

James and Tom, not bad. Tom, try and score low on the next part to get through to the next round.

We're coming back down the line. Can the second players take their places at the podium.

Mike, Steve did incredibly well with Canada. Nice, low score there. 39.

Can you better that?

-I don't think so.

-Well, let me help you. You need to get 60 or less with this answer.

So somewhere between Australia and Canada. Not geographically but in score.

I might just risk it for a biscuit and say Gibraltar.

You might be risking it for 100 points. But, yes, a massive 100-point biscuit. OK.

Here is your red line. If Gibraltar gets you below that, you're through to the next round.

Let's see if Gibraltar is a correct answer

and let's see how many people said it if it is. Gibraltar.

Unfortunately, that's a wrong answer.

Another incorrect answer, which scores you 100 points,

taking your total up to 139. Richard.

Again, it's not a country, I'm afraid.

-That's why you never get Gibraltar versus the Falkland Islands at the World Cup.

-Tom, you are on 70.

You have to score 68 or less with this answer. 68 or less will see you through to the next round.

Realms of the Commonwealth.

-OK.

-What do you study at uni?

-History and Politics.

-History and Politics with a little bit of Commonwealth Studies? No.

-Well, Commonwealth Games, yeah.

I've got one that's really obscure, but I think I'm going to go with Jamaica, just to play it safe.

OK, below that red line, through to the next round.

Let's see if Jamaica is correct and, if it is, how many people said it.

It's right.

And you're through.

A good answer! Jamaica scores you 15, gives you a total of 85.

Very good answer, and safely through. When the Queen goes to Jamaica,

she's got a special flag. It's the St George's Cross that has a yellow pineapple on each of the arms

and a massive golden E in the middle of it, circled in roses.

-That's pretty cool, isn't it?

-That is cool. Not as cool as your impression of a cross.

-That! Look! It's like there was a cross there.

-Yeah.

Very good. Good score, Tom. You and James are through to the next round, come what may. Mike.

Kirsty has come out of the traps all guns blazing, if I can mix as many metaphors as that...

-Erm...

-I thought she did very well.

-She's done awfully well.

Lovely high score of 100. You want to be scoring 38 or less

to avoid becoming the highest scorers here, Mike.

We are looking for realms of the Commonwealth. I think you're good at this, surely.

Geography, that's your thing.

I've had plenty of time to rack my brains.

I might fall in the same trap as two other people, but I'm going to go for Trinidad and Tobago.

Trinidad and Tobago. Great answer. Here is your red line.

Below that and Trinidad and Tobago sees you through to the next round.

Let's see if it's correct and, if it is, how many people said it.

-Remember when I said great answer?

-Yeah.

-I lied.

Trinidad and Tobago is an incorrect answer,

which makes Kirsty feel a lot better,

but does score you the maximum of 100 points,

giving you a total of 200. Richard.

You didn't fall into the same trap, but you did fall into a trap. The Queen is not the head of state there.

-Sorry.

-Melanie. Just before I say any more,

your target here is 99 points. If you can score 99 points or less,

you're through to the next round.

I have a country in mind. If it's right...

The worst that can happen is that you tie with Mike and Kirsty.

That's true. I'm going to go out on a limb and say Namibia.

-Namibia.

-Namibia.

-Here is your red line.

THEY LAUGH

You only have to come below that. Let's see if Namibia gets you below that line,

if it's a correct answer and, if it is, how many people said it.

Wow.

I'm afraid Namibia is also an incorrect answer, which scores you 100 points,

taking your total up to 200 points. You are drawing with Mike and Kirsty. Richard.

-I'm afraid she's not the queen of it.

-She ain't queen there.

Well, as it's a tie, we are going to set the scores to zero

and start again with the two tied pairs. The pairs each have to give me one more answer.

We are still looking for a nice, low score from each.

The one who scores the lowest gets through. You can confer, OK?

We are looking for realms of the Commonwealth. Melanie and Beryl, let's have an answer.

-Erm... I just don't know any more.

-I don't know.

OK, Melanie.

OK, we're going to play it safe,

because of what's gone before, we can't risk anything obscure.

-We're going to say New Zealand.

-New Zealand.

OK. Let's see if New Zealand is correct and, if it is, how many people said it. New Zealand.

It's correct.

47.

Now then, Mike and Kirsty, their turn to put the ball on the spot.

Erm, we were going to play New Zealand,

but we also thought Bermuda.

There is the red line.

If Bermuda gets you below that red line, you are through to the next round.

OK, let's see if it's correct and, if it is, how many people said Bermuda.

No!

Oh, dear. OK, that is a wrong answer.

That scored you 100 points.

Very tough category. Bermuda is not a country, it's an overseas territory.

Bahamas or Barbados both would've been right answers.

Lots of the Caribbean islands, St Kitts and Nevis,

St Vincent and the Grenadines, Antigua.

There were also four pointless answers. Let's take a look at those. Grenada, that was a pointless answer.

The Solomon Islands was a pointless answer.

St Vincent and the Grenadines, a pointless answer.

And our old friend Tuvalu, which is almost always a pointless answer. If in doubt,

even with trees of England, always say Tuvalu and you won't go too far wrong.

And if anyone at any point had said the UK,

do you know what that would've scored?

-Something pitiful.

-23.

Wow. Thanks very much, Richard

So, after that tiebreak, I'm afraid the losing pair with the highest score is Mike and Kirsty.

What would you have liked to have come up?

For me, being a trash-mag addict,

it would've been good if it had been celebrities. Fashion.

-Genuinely, you are not going to like what's coming up in round two.

-Is it celebrities?

Yeah, might be. Might be.

-It is, isn't it? I can't believe it! Can we have a retake?

-Yeah.

-Er, let me find... Yeah, yeah.

-We'll retake it.

Well, I'm afraid we have to say goodbye to you. This was your second chance on the show

so it really is goodbye. Thanks so much. You've been brilliant. Thanks for playing.

APPLAUSE

For the remaining three pairs, it's time for round two.

There's only room for two pairs in the head to head, so one team will leave us at the end of this round.

The category for round two is...

THEY LAUGH

Oh, dear. Can you decide in your pairs who's going to go first?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

The question is...

Celebrities and their spouses.

Beryl, you look disgusted.

In this round, we're about to show you a list of celebrities.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to tell us

who their spouses are.

-Richard.

-We're going to give you the names of six celebrities.

You've got to name their spouse. The more obvious ones will score high points.

If you give us an incorrect answer, it will score 100 points.

I should point out that this is who they're married to as of April 2010.

Knowing celebrities, by the time this goes out, it'll just be a mess.

THEY LAUGH

And your first six are...

OK, right, Beryl, this is your favourite category, isn't it?

Oh, couldn't be better.

Absolutely superb.

-Erm...

-Not.

-How many of these people are you aware of?

-I'm aware of them all.

-All of them?

-But not their spouses.

-Not their plus-ones.

-Nope.

-Do you read glossy magazines, Beryl?

-Not at all.

-I will hazard a guess.

-OK. It sounds like you're going to have to.

-I'll go for Demi Moore.

-Mm-hm?

And, at the last count, I think she was married to Ashton Kutcher.

Ashton Kutcher. Let's see if Ashton Kutcher is indeed married to Demi Moore

and, if he is, let's see how many people knew that answer.

Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore.

It's good, Beryl!

-37!

-APPLAUSE

That scores you 37. Ashton Kutcher,

that's quite a weird name to pluck out of thin air.

Because it's so weird, that's why I remembered it.

-I don't buy that at all, do you?

-I don't buy it.

No. Beryl, you know every single one of them.

-You know Ashton Kutcher, you know him very well, 15 years Demi's junior, as you know very well.

-Yes.

-Previously married to Bruce Willis.

-Yeah.

-Beryl knew that.

-Yeah, I know Beryl knows that. I'll get you to take us through the board later.

-Oh, no!

-OK.

Thank you very much. James, we are looking for the spouses of these celebrities.

There they are. There are five of them left on the board.

Who knows, there might even be a pointless answer.

-I won't know it.

-Do you not know celebrities?

-No, not really my forte.

-Not your forte.

-I was going to go for Demi Moore.

Beryl has really set the bar quite high there.

I think I'm going to go for Katie Price.

I'm hoping that I know the right one. I'm going to go with Alex Reid.

Alex Reid. Let's see if that is correct.

And if it is, let's see how many people knew that answer. Alex Reid, Katie Price.

It's right!

-28.

-APPLAUSE

Alex Reid scores you 28 points.

-Richard.

-Yes, at time of recording,

Alex Reid and Katie Price are indeed married. I think they're about to celebrate their orange anniversary.

HE LAUGHS I think, in their wedding vows,

they said, "Do you fake this tan to be your lawful wedded husband?"

Very good, James. That scores you 28 points.

We are looking for the spouses of these celebrities.

Now then, Mike.

I was going to go for Alex Reid, as well.

I've got to go for a nice and easy one.

I'm hoping it's going to be a low one, because when you say celebrity, you wouldn't say Prince Charles.

-He's a celebrity!

-I wouldn't automatically use the word celebrity for Prince Charles.

Katie Price you'd think of straightaway, so I'm hoping it'll be a low one, and that is my...

Hang on, you're about to pick Prince Charles on this basis?

-On this basis.

-Because he's not such a celebrity, you think people won't know who his wife is?

OK, you're going to go with HRH Prince Charles.

-Camilla Parker-Bowles.

-Camilla Parker-Bowles.

Prince Charles, Camilla Parker-Bowles.

Well, it's right.

APPLAUSE

-It's right. That scores you 61. Richard.

-Let's fill in the rest of them.

-David Bowie.

-She's a model with a single name and I can't... Imam.

It's almost Imam. It's Iman.

-Iman, that's right. Not Imam.

-That would've scored you 13 points.

-Do you know who Jennifer Lopez is married to?

-No idea.

She's married to Marc Anthony. I don't know if you got that at home. Would've scored you seven points.

-He used to be married to...

-Cleopatra.

THEY LAUGH

And Mariah Carey, do you know who she's married to?

-No.

-Would've scored you four points. She is married to Mr Nick Cannon.

He sounds like somebody you used to go to school with. But I don't think he is.

Cos that would've been on his Facebook update. "Have just married Mariah Carey."

"LOL." THEY LAUGH

OK, we're halfway through the round, so let's look at the scores as they stand.

A quite impressive low-scoring score board after the last round.

James and Tom looking very strong on 28.

Tom, keep up that low score, you'll be through to the head to head.

Mike and Steve, 61. That's quite a high score for Prince Charles.

Steve, try and score as low as you possibly can.

Beryl and Melanie on 37, not a bad score at all, Beryl.

We're going to come back down the line. Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK, we'll put six more celebrities up on the board. We have got...

Remember, we are looking for the spouses of these celebrities

and you're trying to find the one that the fewest of our 100 people knew. Steve.

You're on 61. You are the high scorers.

You're going to have to score as low as you possibly can with this answer. How does the board look?

Very difficult for me. Right. I've got to go safe cos it's the only one I know.

It will be Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones.

Michael Douglas, Catherine Zeta Jones. You are the high scorers so there's no red line for you.

You've just got to hope that this is a really low score.

Let's see if it's correct and, if it is, how many people said Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones.

Well, it is right.

That scores you 52, takes your total up to 113. Richard.

Yeah, they were married in the year 2000. They share a birthday, both born on September 25th,

but not in the same year, I don't think.

We are looking for the spouses of these celebrities. So, Tom,

it's down to you. You are on 28. You have to score 84 or less to stay in the game.

-Do you think you can do it?

-Pretty confident, yeah.

Do you know all of these celebrities?

Erm...I think I probably know all of them, yeah.

-Do you know their spouses?

-Yeah.

-Brilliant.

-I think I'm going to have to hazard a guess with Heidi Klum and Seal.

Heidi Klum and Seal.

Here's your red line. A nice, high red line.

If Heidi Klum and Seal are indeed an item,

and it gets below that red line, you are through to the head to head round.

OK, let's see if it's right and, if it is, how many people said Heidi Klum and Seal.

It's right! Could be a low score, this one.

Very good. 24.

Takes your total up to 52.

-Richard, Heidi Klum and Seal.

-Good answer. Heidi Klum married Seal in 2005.

And she took her husband's name, so now she's called Heidi.

THEY LAUGH

And Melanie. OK, we are looking for the spouses of these celebrities.

Melanie, you are on 37. You have to score 75 or less to stay in the game.

I think you can do it. Do you?

I hope so. I know three of the four remaining,

so it's just a question of guessing which one will be less than that.

And, on the basis that she is more famous than her husband and they're not really seen together,

I'm going to go for Chris Martin as the husband of Gwyneth Paltrow.

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin.

There is the red line. Below that red line, you're through to the head to head.

Let's see if it's right and, if it is, let's see how many people said Gwyneth Paltrow, Chris Martin.

Yep, it's good enough!

-Wow!

-APPLAUSE

That scores you 22, taking your total up to 59.

-Richard.

-Very good. They married in 2003 and they've got two kids called Apple and Moses.

And this is as of April 2010.

Let's take a look at the other answers.

-Tom Cruise is married to...

-Erm, Katie... Katie... Not Price. Katie Holmes.

No, it is now Katie Price. THEY LAUGH

No, you're quite right, it's Katie Holmes. That would've scored you 31 points.

-Nicolas Sarkosy is married to...

-Carla Bruni.

-That would've scored you 12 points.

-Nicole Kidman?

-It's Keith Urban.

-Keith Urban, the country singer, absolutely right.

Would've scored you five points, best answer on the board, so well done if you got that at home.

Thanks. At the end of round two, the losing pair with the highest score is Mike and Steve.

Mike, Steve, I was expecting greater things from you, I'll be honest.

With your strange symbiotic working relationship.

I think, for me, I knew the Alex Reid one.

My logic in the Camilla Parker-Bowles thing didn't quite work.

-I think we just missed out on this one.

-You did.

However, very best of luck next time we see you

and I hope you'll go much further than just round two.

-But you've been great contestants. Thanks very much for playing.

-APPLAUSE

For the remaining two pairs, things are about to get even more exciting as we enter the head to head.

Well done, James and Tom, Melanie and Beryl.

You've made it through to the head to head round. Only one pair can make it through to the final

and play for the jackpot, which currently stands at £2,250.

AUDIENCE: Ooooh!

You're going to go head to head on up to three questions.

You are now allowed to confer.

All you have to do is come up with an answer that scores less than your opponents' to win that points.

The first pair to win two questions will play for today's jackpot. Let's play Pointless.

OK, here's your first question. We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name

as many ingredients in a Victoria sandwich cake as they could.

-Richard.

-We're looking for any of the five ingredients in a traditional Victoria sandwich cake

as laid down by the Women's Institute

Laid down by the WI. OK.

James and Tom, you've played best throughout the show so far so you get to go first.

-OK, we have an answer.

-Yep. We're going to go for caster sugar.

Caster sugar. Melanie and Beryl.

Eggs, flour, butter, raspberry jam.

Shall we go for jam? Shall we go for jam or eggs?

-I think eggs would be the most obvious one.

-Butter?

Flour, I think, would be obvious.

-We'll go for jam.

-Jam?

-Yes.

OK, we have caster sugar, we have jam.

We were looking for nice, obscure answers. The most obscure one will win the point.

James and Tom have said caster sugar. Let's see how many people said caster sugar.

It's correct.

APPLAUSE

78 is what sugar scores you.

Melanie and Beryl have gone for jam. Let's see how many people said jam.

Ooh! Beats sugar, but only just. Look at that.

APPLAUSE

After the first question, we are 1-0 up, Melanie and Beryl. Richard.

Yes, a very high-scoring round. There was one answer that would've beaten jam.

Let's take a look at all five. Butter or margarine was at the bottom with 62.

Jam on 69. Eggs and sugar both scored 78,

so if you had said eggs, it would've been a tie.

And flour at the top with 90.

After the first question, it is 1-0 to Melanie and Beryl.

Melanie and Beryl, if you win this point, you are through to the final

and can play for that £2,250.

James and Tom, you've got to win this one to stay in the game.

Here is your second question. We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name

as many artists who have sold more than ten million singles as they could. Richard.

We're looking for the name of any artist or group who have sold ten million or more singles in the UK

up to April 2010.

Any artist or group who've sold more than ten million singles in the UK.

OK, this time it is Melanie and Beryl to go first.

I'm going to go for something from my era, which was the 80s,

and say Duran Duran.

Duran Duran.

I think we're going to go for Westlife.

You're going to go for Westlife. OK, Melanie and Beryl,

you have said Duran Duran. Let's see if that's correct and, if it is, how many people said it.

-That's incorrect.

-It's OK.

-James and Tom, you have said Westlife.

Let's see if that's correct and, if it is, how many people said it.

You've been thrown a lifeline, Melanie and Beryl.

That is also incorrect.

After the second question, Melanie and Beryl are ahead 1-0. Richard.

It's bad news for James and Tom that Westlife haven't sold ten million singles,

but good news for Britain. Don't you think?

-Yeah.

-There are only eight acts in the history of the UK charts

-who've sold ten million singles or more. Let's take a look.

-Rolf Harris.

He's not there, either. ABBA would've scored you 11 points.

Queen would've got you 13.

Elton John with 18. Cliff Richard with 19.

Cliff Richard has sold more than anyone. 21 million singles.

Madonna with 20.

Michael Jackson, 27. Elvis Presley, 34.

And The Beatles up there with 72.

Wow. Thank you very much, Richard. So here is your third question.

Again, James and Tom, you have to win this to stay in the game.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many types of golf club as they could.

-Richard.

-We're simply looking for any of the main varieties of golf club

as laid down by the PGA. We're not looking for the numbers that you would have on a golf club,

It's simply the main varieties of golf club that you would carry in your bag. There are six varieties.

OK. James and Tom, you get to go first this time.

We're going to go for pitching wedge.

Pitching wedge. Very good.

Melanie and Beryl. Pitching wedge has gone.

I think that's a good answer. I don't know anything about golf.

-An iron, a wood.

-What do you want to go for?

-A wood.

-A wood.

-A wood.

-We have a wedge and we have a wood.

-Put those together, you could make china!

-THEY LAUGH

OK.

James and Tom said wedge. Let's see if that's correct and, if it is,

let's see how many people said it. Wedge.

It's a right answer.

-21!

-APPLAUSE

A good answer. Melanie and Beryl have gone with wood.

-Do you think you're going to win this?

-No.

-No.

-No.

-Absolutely certain. OK. Wood. Let's see if it's correct and, if it is, how many people said it.

It's right.

Wow!

APPLAUSE

Wood scores only 16.

-Wins you the point, sees you through to the final. Richard, wood scoring lower than wedge.

-Very good.

In the six, there's five people know. There is a pointless answer here,

so well done at home if you said hybrid, which is a hybrid between an iron and a wood.

Wood, 16. Driver, 18.

Wedge, 21. Putter, 25.

And at the top, iron with 26.

So, the losing pair at the end of the head to head is James and Tom.

I thought pitching wedge was a brilliant answer.

-Do either of you play golf?

-I do, yeah.

-Yep.

-You could've named all of those.

-Yeah.

-We were going to go for hybrid,

-but thought it might be a bit obscure.

-Hang on! Hang on!

Hang on, Tom. That's the lamest excuse. This is Pointless!

-It's too obscure for it.

-There's no too obscure. No such thing.

Thank you very much for being such excellent contestants. See you next time.

-APPLAUSE

-For Melanie and Beryl, it's time for our Pointless final

and the chance to win £2,250.

Congratulations, Melanie and Beryl. You've fought off the competition and won our Pointless trophy.

You now have the chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

The jackpot stands at £2,250.

AUDIENCE: Ooooh!

The rules are simple. To win the money, all you have to do is find a pointless answer

that no-one else could think of. We've had no pointless answers today

but you have to come up with one now to go home with the money. First you have to choose a category

from these three options. You can go for...

I'd go for theatre. I would feel happy with theatre.

As soon as I saw them, I knew that you would go straight for British theatre,

and none of the others shout out at me, so I'm happy to go with that.

Which bit of British theatre would you love that to be?

-Musicals.

-THEY LAUGH

-Musicals.

-It would probably say musicals if it was going to be musicals.

Or anything that Judi Dench was in.

OK, let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many... Is it musicals?

No, as many plays of Harold Pinter as they could.

-Richard.

-We're looking for the titles of any of Harold Pinter's plays.

We're going by the list on his official website.

Right, OK. You now have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that £2,250 is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

Your 60 seconds start now.

-I don't know any.

-The Caretaker. Birthday Party.

-I don't know any more.

-We have to come up with a third.

-The Caretaker. Erm, The Caretaker, Birthday Party.

-Are those well-known ones?

Yeah. I don't know whether they're his, actually.

The Caretaker, Birthday Party.

Oh, gosh, I went to see another one. Harold Pinter.

We have to come up with three. We have to say something.

-I really can't think of a third that he's done.

-Just think of any play.

Waiting For Godot. He didn't do it, but that's all I can think of.

-No.

-You've got time. Do you want to make one up?

Yes, I'll have to make one up. Er...

-The Caretaker.

-The Caretaker and The Birthday Party.

You know they are him?

-Have any been made into films or on the TV or anything.

-Yes, The Caretaker was.

I'm sure The Caretaker was.

OK, that's your minute up. What are the three answers you're going to give me?

-The Birthday Party.

-The Birthday Party.

-The Caretaker.

-The Caretaker.

-And Waiting For Godot.

-Waiting For Godot.

-Yes.

-What do you think is your most confident answer?

-The Birthday Party.

-What's your least confident answer?

-Waiting For Godot.

OK. As you said, that's one you just had to put in to hold the place.

OK, we'll put those up on the board in that order.

We are looking for Harold Pinter plays. Your first answer is Waiting For Godot.

This is the one you were least confident in. You only have to find one pointless answer to win £2,250.

Let's see if it's correct. Waiting For Godot. If it is, let's see how many people said it.

Of course, we knew that was incorrect.

So that's one of your shots gone. What would you spend the money on if you won £2,250?

I really don't know. I've never won any money before, ever!

I've not thought about the money. It was just coming on the show. I didn't think we'd get this far.

-Melanie, how about you?

-I'm recently married and we haven't been on honeymoon yet so...

-You haven't yet been on honeymoon? You've deferred honeymoon?

-Yeah.

-Have you set aside time to go?

-Yes.

-You have. Do you know where you're going to go?

-Yes, we're going to Australia.

-Oh, brilliant.

OK. We are looking for Harold Pinter plays. We wanted nice, obscure Harold Pinter plays.

Let's hope nobody said your next answer, which is The Caretaker.

This is your second shot at the jackpot. This has to be a pointless answer to win that £2,250.

Let's see if it's correct and, if it is, how many people said The Caretaker.

-It's right.

-It's right!

Down it goes.

This has to go all the way down to zero if you're going to win that £2,250.

Ohh!

APPLAUSE

Ten people said The Caretaker. It was a good answer.

Really good score. You'd be pleased with that in another round.

Sadly, it's all or nothing in this. You only have one final chance to win today's jackpot.

We are looking for Harold Pinter plays. We want a nice, obscure, pointless answer,

an answer that none of our 100 people said.

This third answer you said was your most confident, The Birthday Party.

Not so sure now. Not so sure now.

Well, this is your last chance. This has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot of £2,250.

Let's see if it's correct and, if it is, let's see how many people said it. The Birthday Party.

There it is, it's correct.

You said this was the one you had most faith in.

The Caretaker only scored ten.

Will this be a pointless answer, The Birthday Party? Down it goes.

Oh, no!

-APPLAUSE

-Oh, brilliant answer, though!

A really good answer. Only three people knew it

but, sadly, you didn't find that all-important pointless answer.

So I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £2,250

which will roll over to the next show. But you have been amazing and you do get our Pointless trophy.

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

-Rich?

-Unlucky. That's a tough category.

-Really tough.

Let's take a look at the pointless answers, that none of our 100 people gave.

First one, A Kind Of Alaska. That was first performed in 1982.

-Do you know who starred in that?

-Judi Dench?

-Judi Dench?

Judi Dench. THEY LAUGH

-She didn't sing, though, did she?

-She didn't sing, no.

Celebration, Landscape, those were both pointless answers. Well done if you got any of these at home.

Moonlight. Mountain Language with Michael Gambon and Miranda Richardson.

One For The Road.

-Party Time, Remembrance Of Things Past and The Basement. All pointless.

-I didn't know any of those.

-Well, that's a relief.

-It is.

We do have to say goodbye to you, Melanie and Beryl, but you've been fantastic.

You've done so well. It's only your first time on the show and you've come right through to the final.

-Thank you for playing. You've been wonderful contestants.

-APPLAUSE

Nobody's won our jackpot today, so it rolls over, which means on the next show,

we'll be playing for £3,250.

AUDIENCE: Ooooh!

-Join us then. Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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