Episode 40 Pointless

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Thank you very, very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome

to the 100th edition of Pointless. Oh, yes.

WHOOPING AND WHISTLING

100th edition. This is the quiz show where points are to be avoided,

and obscurity should be embraced. Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

Firstly, we welcome Graham and Valerie. It's your first time on the show. How do you know each other?

We erm...met a long time ago

at a famous holiday camp up in Yorkshire...

-Wow.

-..and we've been married for nearly 31 years now.

-31 years. Well done!

-APPLAUSE

100 shows, 31 years. It's going to be one of those milestone shows, I think, isn't it?

Where do you live now?

We've been living for about the last 25 years in Bristol.

-Or near Bristol.

-Near Bristol.

Oh, come on - where near Bristol?!

Well, it's a town called Yate,

which is about 10 or 12 miles northwest of Bristol.

-No, you're going to have to be more specific(!)

-On the way to Gloucester.

It's that kind of precision we're going to want from you today. Best of luck to you.

Next we welcome Charlotte and Diane. How do you two know each other?

Erm, we both met at the University of Manchester last year,

and we're living together and both studying Spanish.

Both studying Spanish? You're hoping for lots of good Spanish questions. Richard, have we got any coming up?

SPANISH ACCENT: No!

If that's Spanish for no.

-Yeah.

-Is that Spanish for no?

-That is, yeah.

-Whoa. Well done, Richard, that was good.

-Thanks.

-That was brilliant.

Si, si.

God, it's like being IN Spain.

LAUGHTER

Well, very best of luck to you on the show. I hope all those Spanish questions come up this show.

(It's not going to happen.)

Steve 1 and Steve 2, welcome back. The neighbours. The poker players.

The Steves of Southampton. Surely you know them?

LAUGHTER

You were on the show last time. Remind us how you did.

We got to the head-to-head...

..but then lost two-nil. So...

It was planets with moons.

Yes, it was.

And it was Mary Poppins.

It was.

It wasn't even like you came up with a bad song from Mary Poppins,

it's just you happened to be up against...Mary Poppins on the other team.

Anyway, I have high hopes for you. I think you're going to go all the way.

Our final pair - we welcome Paul and Sophie, you were also on last time. Remind us how YOU did.

Well, we did brilliantly in the first round

and then absolutely crashed and burned in the second round.

What was it that did for you?

-It was comic book heroes.

-Oh, it was heroes, yes. Heroes and their nemeses.

-Didn't have a clue.

-No. No, it was a really tough one.

OK. Well, best of luck to the pair of you. We will find out more about all of you throughout the show -

there's one more person though.

He's my Pointless friend, and facts and figures are his bread and butter. He's Richard.

Hiya.

-Afternoon.

-Good afternoon to you, Richard.

-100 shows.

-100 shows! Who would ever have thought we'd have made it this far?

Although in Pointless-speak, 100's very bad.

-That's true.

-We should have celebrated our FIRST show.

-Yeah...

-100, we should hang our heads in shame.

But yeah, as you say, 100th show - very big jackpot as well...

It can only be a crushing anticlimax, I suspect.

LAUGHTER

And to all the rest of you, please let's make this a good show.

LAUGHTER

-I will do my best. Alexander, I'm sure you'll do your best.

-I'll try...

LAUGHTER

We've put all our questions to 100 people before the show, but this is Pointless,

so we are after the obscure answers they DIDN'T get.

Now, for a chance to win our jackpot

all our players need to do is score as few points as they possibly can.

What everyone's trying to find is a pointless answer -

an answer that none of our 100 people gave -

and each time that happens, if it happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Now, nobody's won the jackpot for ages -

and we add another £1,000 to last time's jackpot, so today's jackpot starts off at...

WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE

OK, let's play Pointless.

So in the first round each of you must give me one answer, and you cannot confer with your partner.

Whichever team has the highest score at the end of the round will be eliminated.

OK, our category for the first round is...

..Natural History.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the first question is...

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many types of spider as they could.

Types of spider, Valerie. Richard...?

Yeah, nice easy way for ME to kick off the 100th show - all we're looking for here,

the correct answers are all types of spider.

LAUGHTER

-You are red hot, Richard.

-Yeah.

-Thank you.

-You get sharper and sharper.

-I do, don't I?

-You do.

-Yep.

Valerie and Graham, before the show you all drew lots

and today you get to go first.

Right. In this round we're going to give you a choice of seven possible answers in each pass.

The first set of possible spiders reads like this...

Just going to read those again.

Now, at least one of those answers is pointless -

but be careful, because at least one of those is also incorrect

and will score you the maximum of 100 points.

Graham. How good's your natural history?

I didn't really... stop to think about how good or bad my natural history was,

but now that these have come up - not very good I think.

Right...

Have you been to countries where they have exotic spiders

that hurt-slash-kill you?

I have, a long time ago, but erm... always did my best to avoid them.

What are you going to go for?

I'm going to go for the Goliath bird-eating spider.

Someone was going to have to go for that one.

I'd quite like to see a spider eat a bird. I wouldn't really.

I know an old woman who swallowed a fly...

-Why?

-I don't know why.

But a spider eating a bird -

how absurd! They've got that out of sync!

LAUGHTER

Anyway... OK, you're going to go for the Goliath -

I see where they got that bit from - the Goliath bird-eating spider.

Let's see if it's correct -

and if it is, let's see how many people knew that answer.

Goliath bird-eating spider. Is it right?

It's right!

Ooh. I think this might be adding

some money to our jackpot...

APPLAUSE

That scores you

10 points, Graham. A great start, though.

Yeah, the Goliath bird-eating spider. As its name suggests, the largest spider in the world.

If you don't like spiders, some of these can be 11 INCHES across.

11-inch spider. Imagine that in your bath.

LAUGHTER

OK. We're looking for types of spider, Diane. What do you think?

Do you know many of these spiders behind me?

Sorry...

LAUGHTER

I think er...

I think most of my friends and family would

all agree that I have a bit of a severe case of arachnophobia...

-OK. Good to know your enemy, though, Diane.

-Yeah.

It's true. Erm...

Goliath bird-eating has gone...

I did like the look of that one.

-I bet you wouldn't if you saw it.

-No.

LAUGHTER

Havanese. Just going to have a go.

Havanese.

There it is, third on the list. Let's see if it's correct -

and if it is, let's see how many people said the Havanese or Hah-vanese spider.

-Oh, no! Diane!

-GROANING

I was convinced that was going to go all the way down.

I also rather liked the way I said "Hah-vanese" -

made it sound like I knew what it was!

And if it was right everyone would think, "Oh, he knew that."

Unfortunately that's an incorrect answer

which means you score the maximum of 100 points. Richard?

Yeah, the Havanese is actually a small, cute, furry dog.

And it's the natural prey of the Goliath Havanese-eating spider!

LAUGHTER

Oh, dear, I'm so sorry. It may not be the last high score like that.

OK.

Steve 1, spiders, we're looking for types of spider.

Behind me...

Look at that board, there's an incorrect answer

that Diane has mine-swept for you.

There's most certainly a pointless answer on that board.

I'm fairly certain I have heard of a banana spider.

So I'm going to go for banana.

Banana spider, OK. I think I've heard of one of those, as well.

I think they're nasty.

Nasty flavour!

LAUGHTER

Let's see if it's right.

If it is, let's see how many people said banana spider.

Down it goes.

Oh!

APPLAUSE

That's a fantastic answer, Steve number 1.

And it scores you 1.

Richard, banana spider?

It is a good answer, but yeah, they are very mean.

They call it banana spider cos it's often found in banana shipments.

-Wow.

-Another reason not to have your five a day!

LAUGHTER

OK, we are looking for types of spider.

Sophie, you are the last person to have this board.

You can talk us through it.

On that board is at least one pointless answer.

The worst thing that can happen is you'll be a joint high scorer.

It's not anything like the same as

the ignominy of being single high scorer.

SHE LAUGHS

Sorry, Diane, don't mean to rub it in!

-Making me feel a lot better!

-It's true.

-The best that could happen is you add 250 quid to the jackpot.

-Well...

tarantula seems pretty well known.

I've never heard of Zuckerman spider.

-So, I'll go for that one.

-Zuckerman spider.

What do you think it looks like?

I'm thinking... I'm thinking Zimmerman - Bob Dylan!

This little guitar-playing spider!

LAUGHTER

Are you thinking the Zuckerman when it was still in the folk phase

or after he's gone electric?

-I think, before electric.

-OK.

Zuckerman spider, let's see if that's correct, and if it is,

how many people said it? Zuckerman spider.

You see? Much less ignominious. There are two of you now.

I thought that was going all the way down, Sophie.

I thought that was the pointless.

Unfortunately, you and I were both wrong. It's incorrect

and scores you the maximum of 100 points. Richard,

two incorrect answers on the board.

It's nice to have two scores of 100 on our 100th show. Very fitting.

Sorry, I appreciate your efforts, Diane and Sophie, thank you.

But, no, Zuckerman is

the farm where Charlotte the spider lives in Charlotte's Web.

Let's look through the rest of the board.

Tarantula, obviously, is a spider.

It would have scored you a hefty 53 points.

House spider as well, of course, that would have scored you 18.

And by process of elimination,

the pointless answer is crab spider

so well done if you said crab spider at home.

There's a spider crab and a crab spider?

-Yeah.

-How do you like that?!

We're halfway through the round so let's look at the scores.

What a massive field we have there.

Paul and Sophie, Charlotte and Diane,

both on 100, so Paul and Charlotte,

you each have a job to do. Steve 1 and Steve 2,

what an answer. That was brilliant.

So, Steve 2, basically you just sit back and take it easy this round,

doesn't matter what you say.

You'll be through to the next round, I reckon. Graham and Valerie,

much the same. Brilliant answer from Graham.

So, Valerie, take it easy,

or see if you can winkle out that pointless answer

and add some more money to the jackpot.

Right, can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK, we're going to put another seven answers on the board.

We're looking for types of spider. Here we go.

Let me read that out again.

Sounds like a poem!

Again, I can tell you at least one of those answers is pointless.

There is also at least one incorrect answer

so do try and avoid that or those.

Right, Paul,

you are on 100,

you are our joint high scorer.

You're going to have to find as low a possible score as you can.

Obviously I shouldn't pick any of the ones that are obvious.

So...

..I'm going to go for dwarf and hope for the best.

I'm guessing that's quite a small spider.

-Like to think so, wouldn't you?

-Yes.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is,

let's see how many people said dwarf spider.

It's right.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

That's a pointless answer.

It adds £250 to today's jackpot,

taking the total up to £9,750, and it scores you 0,

-giving you a total of 100. Richard?

-Yeah, very well done, Paul,

let's see if we can get the jackpot up to 10,000, that would be nice.

-Wouldn't it be good?

-Dwarf spider,

-very well done.

-OK, Steve.

-Steve 2.

-Yes.

We're looking for types of spider.

-I'm going to play it safe.

-You are on 1. If you score 98 or less,

you avoid becoming the high scorers

and you are definitely through to the next round.

-I'll play safe with black widow.

-You hope that'll score you 98 or less.

If you come below that red line, you're through to the next round.

Let's see how many people said black widow.

It's good enough.

48.

-APPLAUSE

-Takes your total to 49.

-Black widow?

-Yeah, well played, Steve, good tactics.

The black widow, named after the generally-held belief

that the female of the species eats the male after mating.

-Is there any truth in that?

-Yeah,

there is some truth in it, but only in a few species of black widow.

So, eats him and then maybe snacks on a bird?

LAUGHTER

OK, there is still a pointless answer, possibly, on that board.

There's definitely a wrong answer. Now, Charlotte,

Paul and Sophie scored 100, first time,

and then scored a pointless.

-You have to score a pointless answer, you can't play it safe.

-No.

We're looking for types of spider.

I have no idea so I'm going to take a wild guess

and I'm going to go with ditko.

Ditko? It's either a spider or a very famous pest control agency!

Let's see if ditko is right, and if it is,

let's hope it goes all the way down to the bottom. Ditko...

Did anyone say ditko?

Well, out in a blaze of glory, Charlotte!

LAUGHTER

Ditko is incorrect, which means you score the maximum of 100 points.

That takes your total up to

an unbeatable 200.

Unbeatable's the word.

Sorry, Charlotte, you fell into our web there.

Steve Ditko is the co-creator of Spider-Man.

So, Valerie,

whatever happens, you are through to the next round. Come what may,

you will never overtake Charlotte and Diane's impressive score

of 200!

Bearing that in mind, why not see if you can't truffle out

a pointless answer there and take us up to £10,000 in the jackpot.

So we are looking for types of spider.

I hate spiders, but I actually watched a film last week

and it had both the funnel-web spider and the spitting spider.

-Wow!

-Which was pretty yucky.

But I think the more obscure one will be the funnel-web spider.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said funnel-web spider.

No red line, you're through, come what may.

13.

APPLAUSE

That scores you 13, taking your total up to an impressive low, 23.

-Richard.

-Yes, found quite often in Australia, the funnel-web spider.

Its bite can cause severe pain, blindness

and paralysis of the respiratory muscles.

That would be a bad tourist board slogan, Australia.

Let's take a look at the rest of these...

Money spider, of course, fairly familiar.

Would have scored you...

The spitting spider would have been the better answer.

It would have scored you one point.

I know two bad things about the spitting spider -

-one, it spits a mixture of...

-Petrol...

LAUGHTER

-One...

-Sorry.

-..it spits a mixture of venom and glue.

-Oh, no!

Which is quite bad.

And two, although it's native to the tropics,

it has very recently been found in the south of England.

AUDIENCE GROANS

The ogre-faced spider, do you think we made it up?

It's a pointless, I'm sure it is.

It is indeed a real spider. So very well done if you said ogre-faced.

At the end of Round One the losing pair with highest score is Charlotte and Diane.

-Oh!

-AUDIENCE: Aww!

It's such a shame to say goodbye to you so early on.

What would have been the ideal round for you, or maybe the ideal selection of spider?

Spanish spiders, maybe!

I knew one spider! Like, one obscure spider and it wasn't on that list.

-What was the spider you knew?

-I think it's called a red-kneed Mexican spider.

And it was in this book I got when I was about five.

And I used to have to cover the page because I couldn't look at it.

-Those red knees, oh!

-LAUGHTER

It was black and it had, like, red stripes on it. It was horrible.

Sounds cool.

Listen, you've learnt, I'm sure, a whole lot this time round.

You can put it into practise next time you're on the show,

when, hopefully, you'll do rather better.

Thanks very much for playing. Great contestants. Thank you.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it time for Round Two.

Now time to find out which two teams will be going through to the head-to-head for the chance

to reach the Pointless final.

OK, your category for Round Two is...

World Geography.

You decide in your pairs who will go first and second.

Whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

The question is...

In this round, we'll show you the names of some places.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to tell us the only country

that they share a land border with.

-Richard.

-We'll show you six places.

The more obscure ones, those will score you the fewest points.

Be careful. If you give us an incorrect answer, you'll score 100 points.

Thanks, Richard.

Your first six are...

Let me read those one more time.

So we are looking for the countries that border these places.

Well, the ones I don't know, I really have no idea at all.

So I'm going to have to go for one that is fairly safe.

Um...

So I'm going to say Italy as a neighbour for Vatican City.

OK, Italy - Vatican City.

Let's hope not too many people said that.

Let's see if it's correct.

If it is, let's see how many people knew that answer.

It's the right answer!

56.

APPLAUSE

So, Italy, Richard.

Yes, the Vatican City, the world's smallest independent state,

entirely circled by Italy.

Very good answer.

OK. Now, Steve number one,

how are these borders looking to you?

-Two look fairly safe.

-Mm-hm.

The other three, I've got an idea.

I'm going to go for Haiti.

And I believe that shares a border with the Dominican Republic.

Haiti, Dominican Republic.

So we are looking for the countries that border these places.

Let's see if that's correct. If it is, let's see

how many people knew that answer.

It's right.

Still going down! 15!

-APPLAUSE

-Good answer, Steve.

That scores you 15. Richard.

Well played, Steve.

-Haiti and the Dominican Republic share the Caribbean island of Hispaniola.

-Thanks very much.

Now, then, Sophie.

Sophie, you're the last person to have this board. So feel free to talk us through it.

Well, I think UK and Canada are going to be fairly high scoring.

Qatar - haven't got a clue.

But I think...

Brunei is Papua New Guinea.

And I'm fairly reckless, so I'm going to go with that.

OK. You think Brunei is Papua New Guinea.

Paul just pulled face I think only his dentist will have seen before.

Oh, no! LAUGHTER

-Only my mother could love, yeah.

-Sorry, love.

Right, you're going to say Brunei.

The Sultanate of Brunei is bordered by Papua New Guinea.

Let's see if that's right, and how many people knew that answer.

Ooh!

Unfortunately, Papua New Guinea is an incorrect answer

which means you got the maximum of 100 points.

-Richard.

-Yeah, sorry, Sophie.

Let's take a look where it does share a border with.

Virtually an enclave of Malaysia.

And would have scored you three points.

It would have been an incredibly good answer.

There's a couple of big answers there, the biggest is Canada

which shares a border with the United States,

nearly 9,000 kilometres of it. Would have scored 71 points.

The UK shares a border with Ireland, what score do you think that would get you?

Er, that would be... That would be a low score.

That's right. It would have scored you 38 points.

38 points would have been a good answer.

-And Qatar shares a border with...?

-Saudi Arabia.

Exactly right. It would have scored you four points.

Well done if you got that at home.

Let's take a look at the scores.

Well, Paul and Sophie - way ahead there.

Papua New Guinea scored you high.

Paul, you know what you've got to do in the next pass.

Steve, wow! What a great answer. Fantastic.

Haiti, Dominican Republic - only scored you 15.

Lovely low score there. Steve Two, keep that up,

you should be through to the head-to-head. Graham and Valerie, 56.

You're almost exactly in the middle there. So, Valerie,

answer sensibly, and you should make it through to the head-to-head.

But anything could happen.

We're going to come back down the line. Could the second players take their places at the podium.

Here are your next six places.

I'll read those again.

Portugal, Denmark, Papua New Guinea,

South Korea, Monaco, Lesotho.

So we are looking for the countries that border these places.

And you are trying to find the one that the fewest of our 100 people knew.

All right, Paul. You are out ahead on 100 points.

You've got to find a really nice... I can think of one rather poetic one you could pick there.

And I'm going to pick it, yes.

-You know the answer?

-I think so, yes.

Papua New Guinea shares the island of Irian Jaya, I believe, with Indonesia.

That sounds like it's going to be right. Let's see if it is,

and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

No red line for you, as you are the high scorers.

It's right.

Very, very good answer, Paul.

APPLAUSE

That scores you three,

and it takes your score total up to 103. Richard.

Yeah, very good answer, you might be back in the game.

It's only about 150 kilometres from Australia, Papua New Guinea,

-but yeah, shares a border with Indonesia.

-Thanks, Richard.

Steve number two.

You are on 15.

If you can score 87 or less with this answer, 87 or less,

you are through to the head-to-head.

Obviously the top easy one staring me in the face again, the safety option, Portugal and Spain.

Portugal and Spain, you are saying. Here is your red line.

If Portugal-Spain gets you below that red line, you are through to the head-to-head.

OK, let's see if that's right, and if it is, let's see how many people said Portugal-Spain.

It's right, and it's good enough.

Very, very well done.

That scores you 66, takes your total up to 81.

You are the first pair definitely in the head-to-head. Richard.

Again, another fairly low score, I'd have thought. Portugal and Spain,

-you'd think would be a fairly well-known one.

-You'd have thought.

-Apparently not.

-Apparently not.

OK, we are looking for the countries that border these places.

OK, now, Valerie. It's all in your hands.

You are on 56, so if you can score 46 or less with this answer,

you are through to the head-to-head.

Oh, dear.

I'm going to have to go for Denmark, I think,

and hope that it's bordering Holland.

You're going to say Denmark, and hope that it's bordering Holland.

-And that's a punt, is it?

-Yeah.

-There's your red line.

If Denmark borders Holland, and it gets below that red line,

it will see you through to the head-to-head.

Let's see if it's right, Denmark-Holland.

So there's a lifeline for Paul and Sophie. Bad luck, Valerie,

I'm afraid that is an incorrect answer,

and it scores you 100 points, taking your total up to 156.

-Richard.

-Sorry, Valerie, it doesn't share a border with Holland.

It shares a border with Germany.

But it would have scored you 20 points, and seen you safely through.

Let's take a look at the other ones.

-South Korea borders...

-North Korea.

North Korea, the most heavily-fortified border in the world.

Again, it would only score 52.

-Monaco borders...

-France.

France, would have scored you 42 points.

-And Lesotho?

-South Africa.

It does border South Africa, yeah. Would have scored 5,

so well done if you got that at home.

Thanks, Richard. At the end of round two the pair with the highest score

is Graham and Valerie.

THEY SIGH

-Sausages.

-That was amazing, the pair of you.

That synchronised sigh!

-Did you see that?

-Yeah. It was good, it was very impressive.

-It's a fitting way to mark the 100th show.

-It really is. OK.

Graham and Valerie, it's been fabulous having you on the show.

Sadly, your knowledge of geographical borders

was shocking.

LAUGHTER

I suspect, though, there is a hinterland

of Graham and Valerie-type general knowledge that we haven't even broached,

and when we see you next time, you are going to dazzle us and go all the way.

But thanks for now for being excellent contestants, thank you.

APPLAUSE

For the remaining pairs, things are about to get even more exciting now,

as we enter the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

OK, we've already said goodbye to two teams,

it's now time to find out which of our remaining pairs will play for today's jackpot,

which currently stands at an unbelievably high £9,750.

APPLAUSE AND GASPING

You're so close. You're now going to be head-to-head on the best of three questions.

You're now allowed to confer, that's the good news.

All you have to do is come up with an answer that scores less than the opposing pair to win that point.

The first pair to win two points will be through to the final to play for today's jackpot.

All right, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

And here's your first question.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many members of Family Guy's Griffin family as they could.

-Richard.

-Yeah, we're looking for any of the main six members of the Griffin family in Family Guy.

OK. Steve one and Steve two, because you've played best so far you get to go first.

We are looking for members of Family Guy's Griffin family.

-THEY LAUGH

-It's not the best question for us.

OK. So you're just going to be plucking a name out of thin air.

Yeah. Got nothing else, have we?

Somewhere up there, we're going to say Stan.

Stan Griffin.

Paul and Sophie, you can talk out loud if you like.

I quite like Family Guy, so I know all six.

It's just a question of picking the least one, I suppose.

Well, Stan has gone.

Has it? Oh, right! Second least one, then.

I'll go with... What do you want?

Brian the dog, perhaps.

Brian the dog.

OK. Steves, Stan Griffin. Let's see how many people said that.

-I think you might have known that was coming.

-Yes.

Particularly when you heard someone so confidently say, "Brian the dog."

Let's see how many points Brian the dog scores.

It's right! That's all it needed to be.

APPLAUSE

Very good, that scores only ten points.

After the first question, it is 1-0 to Paul and Sophie. Richard.

Yeah, well played, Paul and Sophie.

Brian of course the screenplay and novel-writing dog.

There was one answer that would have beaten Brian. It wasn't Stan,

it was the eldest son, Chris, with eight points.

Brian with ten,

Stewie, 13, Meg, 14, Lois, 16, and Peter, 18.

OK. Steve and Steve, you have to win to win this point to stay in the game.

Nearly £10,000 sitting in that jackpot.

Here's your second question. We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many Changing The Guard regiments as they could.

Changing The Guard regiments, Richard.

We're looking for any of the five regiments of foot guards

who regularly take part in the Changing Of The Guard ceremony at Buckingham Palace and Windsor Castle.

OK, thanks very much. This time, Paul and Sophie, you get to go first.

THEY MUTTER

-We've decided Grenadier.

-Grenadier.

OK. Steves, Grenadier Guards have gone. You can talk out loud now.

I think the Blues And Royals do it, I think.

-Do you have a military background, Steve?

-No(!)

LAUGHTER

-I'm going to go for the Blues And Royals.

-Blues And Royals, you're going to say.

This is to stay in the game.

What regiment were you in, Steve?

-Engineers. We didn't do it.

-No.

We have the Grenadier Guards and Blues And Royals.

Paul and Sophie went with the Grenadier Guards,

let's see if that's right, and if it is, let's see how many people said the Grenadier Guards.

It's right.

It's a low scorer.

15!

APPLAUSE

15 for Paul and Sophie. Steve and Steve have gone for the Blues And Royals,

let's see if that's right, and if it is, let's see how many people said the Blues And Royals.

Bad luck, Steve and Steve, I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer.

So, after two questions, Paul and Sophie are through to that jackpot final 2-0.

-Richard.

-Yeah, unlucky, Steve. The Blues And Royals are part of the Household Cavalry,

they don't take part in Changing The Guard.

If it makes you feel better, Grenadier Guards was the best answer on the board,

so you couldn't have won. Let's look at all five of them.

Right at the bottom there, Grenadier Guards, a great answer. 15 points.

The Irish Guards, 16, Scots Guards, 19,

Coldstream Guards, 21, and the Welsh Guards right at the top with 22.

So the losing pair at the end of the head-to-head,

I'm afraid it's Steve and Steve.

Twice we send you home,

having got you in sniffing distance of the jackpot.

Oh, Steve. And you being a military man and all.

Thank you(!)

LAUGHTER

How happy is that street down in Southampton going to be after this?

The worst thing that could've happened was if one of us

-really let the team down, which hasn't happened.

-I don't think it has at all.

You've been fantastic contestants, you played so well.

-I'm sorry you haven't got further, but thanks so much for playing.

-APPLAUSE

For Paul and Sophie, it's our Pointless final

and the chance to win that £9,750 jackpot.

APPLAUSE

Congratulations, Paul and Sophie,

you've seen off the competition and won our coveted Pointless trophy.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

You are the 100th pair to win. How does that feel?

-Amazing.

-Absolutely fantastic.

You now have the chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, just to remind you, the jackpot stands at:

CHEERING

To win that money, all you have to do is find a pointless answer,

an answer none of our 100 people could think of.

We've only had one pointless answer today, which you gave us, Paul.

You need to find another one to go home with that money.

First, you've got to choose a category. Any one of these three:

You're good at all those three. I'm good at...

-I haven't been so good today.

-You've been to university at least.

International Diplomacy, I'm not massively hot on.

-Universities?

-You're tempted by that, aren't you?

-Yeah.

-OK. We'll go for Universities.

Let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

colleges of Oxford University as they could.

-Richard.

-Yeah, we're looking for any of the colleges or halls

that make up Oxford University.

We're not looking for any of the six permanent, private halls.

OK. You now have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that £9,750

is for one of those answers to be pointless.

Your 60 seconds start now.

Christ Church, King's College.

Gaius and Conville.

What was that one, guys and what?

Gaius and Conville. Then there's the women's colleges.

Which are called?

-My brain's gone.

-I don't know any of them.

I'm a grammar school boy.

-So Gaius was a good one.

-Gaius...

I'm not sure how to pronounce. You know those weird, like...

-Just pronounce it "guys" and...

-Con...

I can't think of...

Or even how it's spelt now.

So we'll skip that one. There's, erm...

-There's Magdalen.

-Magdalen is good.

Peterhouse is in Cambridge.

Sidney Sussex?

Sidney Sussex? That sounds a good one.

Definitely Oxford, yeah?

-It's all coming a bit Oxford and Cambridge now.

-Ten seconds.

Sidney Oxford. Gaius Conville.

-Sidney Sussex.

-Sidney Sussex.

Is it Oxford?

OK, that's your minute up.

So, what three answers are you going to give?

OK...

Sidney Sussex.

Sidney Sussex.

-Gaius Conville.

-Gaius and Conville.

Gaius and Conville, mm-hm.

-And Magdalen?

-Yeah.

-And Magdalen.

-And Magdalen.

-Yes.

OK. Which of those do you think is your most confident?

I think Magdalen is fairly well known.

-I think Sidney Sussex is Oxford.

-OK.

So Sidney Sussex...

Sidney Sussex we'll put last?

-Yeah, why not?

-As in the one we're most confident in.

OK.

And shall we put Gaius and Conville...?

OK, well, we will put them up on the board

in that order.

We wanted colleges of Oxford University.

You have three shots at a pointless answer. One has to be pointless.

This was your least-confident answer.

You only need one of these to be pointless to win that £9,750.

You have said Gaius and Conville.

Let's see how many people said that, if it is a correct answer.

Sadly, that is an incorrect answer.

You only have two more chances to win today's jackpot.

How confident are you with this next answer?

As confident as the first one.

Do you know Oxford and Cambridge well?

-No.

-Never been.

-Been to either?

-I visited Cambridge years ago.

I've been to a football match at Oxford.

-We'll just have to see.

-We're looking for colleges of Oxford University.

Let's hope your next answer is correct,

and if it is, let's hope nobody said Magdalen College.

Is that correct? And if so, is it pointless?

Well, it's right.

This has to go all the way down to zero to win that £9,750.

It's in the twenties.

It's in the teens, down it goes...

-Oh!

-GROANING AND APPLAUSE

Bad luck.

Seven people said Magdalen College,

so I'm afraid that is not a pointless answer.

You have one final shot at this.

Sidney Sussex, sounds good, doesn't it?

Paul, you immediately liked the sound of it.

It just sounded obscure, like it shouldn't be anywhere near Oxford,

so if it is one, perhaps a lot of people wouldn't know it.

OK, Sidney Sussex is your last shot at today's jackpot.

Colleges of Oxford University. This was the answer you were most confident with.

This has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot of £9,750.

Is it correct? And if it is, is it pointless?

Will it win you £9,750?

Ohhh!

APPLAUSE

Unfortunately, you didn't find that all-important pointless answer.

So you don't win today's jackpot of £9,750.

That rolls over to the next show.

But you do get to take home our Pointless trophy.

Excellent.

APPLAUSE

So Richard, but more 'Bridge than Ox there.

Yeah, Sidney Sussex, as you say, they can be interchangeable,

it is in Cambridge, unfortunately.

And Gaius and Conville - there is Gonville and Caius,

that's in Cambridge as well.

But as I say, lots of them have the same names

so it was a tough category,

and a shame not to get a jackpot on the 100th show.

These would all have won you the jackpot.

Linacre College, one of the newer ones.

Pembroke. Somerville would've won you the money,

that's where Margaret Thatcher went. St Edmund Hall.

St Catherine's College is the newest of all.

St Hilda's College, set up for women's education.

Well done if you got any at home. Sorry you didn't get them here.

A tough category, but you've been wonderful contestants.

-Thanks for being on the 100th show.

-Thank you very much.

Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye

but you have been fantastic contestants. Thank you so much for playing.

APPLAUSE

Nobody's won our jackpot today,

so it rolls over, which means on the next show, we'll be playing for:

WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE

-Join us then. Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me.

APPLAUSE

If you want to be on the next series of Pointless, find out more at:

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