Episode 17 Pointless

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Thank you very much indeed.

Hello. I'm Alexander Armstrong. Welcome to Pointless,

the quiz show where popular answers mean nothing

and obscure answers mean everything. Let's meet today's players.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

First off, we welcome back Mark and Amanda.

Everyone gets two cracks at the Pointless jackpot.

This is your second chance to get it.

Remind us how you did last time.

I think sadly I let the side down a little bit

on my knowledge of American states.

Being a travel agent, it shouldn't have happened,

-but hey, win some, you lose some.

-Like you said,

-had it been airport codes...

-I'd have been absolutely fine.

Yeah. What do you hope will come up this afternoon, Amanda?

I was going to say geography, but maybe not any more,

-so I'll say music.

-We'll wait and see.

Mark, what are you hoping will come up?

Yeah, music would be good. I also enjoy the films,

as we found out last time.

-Let's keep our fingers crossed. Very best of luck.

-Thank you.

Myra and Leisha, welcome to the show.

-How do you two know each other?

-We met about 15 years ago.

when we both... I was... Leisha was already in the am-dram society,

and I joined them.

-Am-dram! We've had a few am-dram couples, haven't we?

-We have.

Oh, boy, do they flounce off at the end!

Not even at the end. They usually flounce off after round one.

Oh, no!

In a hissy fit.

Yes. It's not true at all.

What am-drams do you put on there? What's been your latest production?

Our latest production was Murdered To Death.

Murdered To... I know what you did with it.

-What was it?

-LAUGHTER

It was a bit of a take on Inspector Clouseau,

Miss Marples, and all of them all thrown together

-in the same house.

-And Leisha?

I was in the last pantomime, Panto At The OK Corral.

-ALEXANDER LAUGHS

-And what did you play?

-I was Goldie Nuggets.

-Goldie Nuggets?

-Yes. I was prospecting for gold.

-Very good.

Well, very best of luck. I hope you strike gold this afternoon!

Did you see what I did there? Did you see that?

Yeah. You know, I really did. Yeah. THEY LAUGH

I think they could see that one from space.

THEY LAUGH

And next we welcome Cliff and Nicki. How do you two know each other?

We're father and daughter. Nicki's at university.

Whose idea was it to come on the show?

-Mine.

-Ah, very, very good indeed.

-How much persuading did your dad take?

-Not a lot.

He wants to show off how clever he is. But we'll find out.

What sort of things is he clever about, Nicki?

He's quite good at history.

Yeah. Oh, OK, maybe not.

-I'll stick to sport.

-Very best of luck to the pair of you.

It's lovely having you here.

And finally we welcome back Daniel and John.

You were here last time. Remind us how you did.

We started off very well, because we got a pointless answer,

which was great, then it all went a bit wrong in the head-to-head.

-It did.

-It went a bit wrong in the head-to-head.

-LAUGHTER

-Yeah.

Yes, it did, sadly. You were knocked out two-nil. What were you doing?

It was my fault. I take full responsibility

-for lapsing from my Catholic faith and not knowing anything about the Bible.

-I agree.

Pentateuch got you... as it will all of us in the end.

LAUGHTER

We obviously know about your love of Gilbert and Sullivan -

your shared love. What else do you love?

What do you do, John, in your spare time?

I do a language class. I'm learning Swedish.

Are you? For fun?

Yeah!

It's spectacularly pointless, actually.

But it's a great language to be able to speak.

There are only two Swedish words in the English language -

-smorgasbord...

-Ah!

-..and ombudsman is the other one.

-Ombudsman!

-Yeah.

-Or ombudswoman.

-LAUGHTER

How amazing! Seriously? Ombudsman!

How clever of you to know that!

Not really. I think the word you're looking for is "sad", not "clever".

No, clever of you to know that.

We'll find out more about all of you throughout the show.

There's only one person left for me to introduce.

He is an index of all things unusual and obscure.

-He's my Pointless friend. He's Richard!

-Hiya.

Hello.

-Hello, there.

-How are you?

-I'm fine, Richard. How are you?

-I'm very well.

-How are you this afternoon?

-Very well.

-You look very well.

I am. I'm keenly anticipating this show.

Should be a good one. We've got two returning pairs. Daniel and John were very strong

last time, a very good pair, so I suspect they'll do well.

And, Mark and Amanda, we do have a music question, question two,

so if you can get that far, it might help you out.

It might be a tough show for our new pairs today.

OK! Well, thank you.

We've put all our questions to 100 people before the show, but this is Pointless,

so we are after the answers they didn't get. Everyone's trying to get a pointless answer,

an answer none of our 100 people gave,

and each time that happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Nobody won the jackpot last time, so we added another £1,000 to that,

so today's jackpot starts off

at £4,750.

Very exciting. Right, let's play Pointless!

In the first round, each of you must give me one answer,

and you cannot confer with your partner.

The team with the highest score at the end of the round will be eliminated.

Try and make sure it's not you. If anyone gives me an incorrect answer

along with way, they will score the maximum of 100 points.

Our first category this afternoon is going to be...words.

Can you decide in your pairs who's going to go first and second?

-THEY WHISPER

-And whoever's going first,

please step up to the podium.

OK. Let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name

as many words ending in '...pire', P-I-R-E, as they could.

Words ending in P-I-R-E, Richard.

Yeah. We're looking for any word in the Oxford English Dictionary that ends P-I-R-E.

We're not allowing proper nouns or hyphenated words,

just any words that end P-I-R-E.

We won't accept the word "pire" itself,

which means "to gaze or look around".

Thanks very much, Richard. Right, Mark and Amanda.

You all drew lots before the show, and this afternoon you get to go first.

We're looking for words ending in P-I-R-E.

Um...

You managed, last time round, to get identical scores...

-Yes, we did.

-..on every pass you played.

-Yes.

-Do you think you can keep that up?

As long as they're nice low scores, that would be great.

-Let's hope.

-Yes. So...

I'm going to go with the word "uninspire".

Uninspire?

OK. Uninspire. You're hoping to score as few points as possible

with that. Let's see if it's a correct answer,

and let's see how many of our 100 people said it. Uninspire!

-Ahh!

-Bad luck, Amanda.

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer,

and that scores you 100 points. 100 points for uninspire, Richard!

Yeah. Sorry, Amanda, it's not there.

I hope you don't get symmetrical scores today.

-Yes, indeed.

-SHE LAUGHS

-Thanks, Richard. Now, then, Myra...

-I'm not...

A word ending in P-I-R-E.

I'm not going to go for the obvious. Um...

I'll try...transpire.

Transpire. OK. You are hoping to score as few points as possible

with transpire. Let's see if it's right,

and if it's right, how many people said transpire.

It's right.

16, Myra! Very well done.

APPLAUSE

Lovely low score there for transpire.

Well played, Myra. Good start to the show.

Transpire, often misused to mean "to occur" or "to happen".

That's not what it means at all. It's a chemical thing

-about gases passing through pores of vessels.

-It transpires.

LAUGHTER It doesn't transpire.

It neither transpires nor doesn't transpire.

So that was wrong? It's complete misusage?

Yeah.

Well, I won't be using that again, will I?

Thanks very much, Richard. Now, then, Nicki,

what is the most obscure word ending in P-I-R-E you can think of?

I was really hoping this round wouldn't come up,

so I'm going to go for a word which I hope is spelled this way -

-conspire.

-Conspire?

-Yep.

OK. You're hoping to score as few points as possible with conspire.

Let's see if it's right, and how many people said that. Conspire.

It's right, Nicki.

Down it comes!

17!

Very well done.

Conspire, Richard.

Well done, Nicki. To plot or to plan a usually criminal action.

To conspire. That really does mean what it's supposed to mean...

-Phew-ee!

-..it transpires.

LAUGHTER

Thanks, Richard. Now, then, Daniel,

remember we are looking for words ending in P-I-R-E.

P-I-R-E. It's as good a way to end a word as I can think of.

This is definitely not my strongest subject.

John will be able to do better than me on this one.

OK. Well, the round we've had, we've get a very high score,

and the other two answers have been pretty low-scoring,

-the correct answers.

-I'll play it safe and go "expire".

You're going to say "expire". Let's hope that is a correct answer,

and if it is, how many people said it. Expire.

Well, it's right.

Ooh!

Interesting how much more that scores you

than transpire and conspire,

but it scores you 67, Daniel. Surprisingly high score there.

Very big score, isn't it? It's a good word,

because it can mean to breathe air out of the lungs, or it can mean the exact opposite.

LAUGHTER

Exactly. OK. We're halfway through the round,

so let's take a look at our scores as they stand.

16 points for Myra and Leisha.

What a fabulous start for you that is!

Lovely low score there.

One point more for Nicki and Cliff, on 17,

then we come to Daniel and John on 67.

That's quite a hike there.

John, you are going to have to live up to Daniel's fanfare for you

and be as good as his word at your word.

See what I did there?

And then, Amanda and Mark, 100 points.

That really is quite a high score.

Mark, you'll have your work cut out here.

Good luck with that.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK, John, we are looking for words that end in P-I-R-E.

Daniel left you with a legacy of 67 points.

You are 33 points behind the high scorers, Mark and Amanda,

so if you can score 32 or less,

you are definitely through to the next round.

-Good luck.

-I've got two.

I'm going to go for the one that's slightly less safe,

but I think I need to take a slight risk.

I'm going to go with "respire".

-Respire.

-Inhale, I think, is the meaning.

There is your red line. If you can come below that,

you are definitely through to the next round.

Is it right, and if it is, how many people said respire?

Very well done.

It's right, and I have an inkling this might go a long way down.

Very well done. 20 points for that.

Takes your total up to 87,

sees you comfortably through to round two. Richard?

Well played, John. Respire's to breathe in and out.

-To respire.

-Very good. Thanks, Richard.

So, Cliff, you're on 17, a lovely low score

from Nicki there.

The high scorers remain Mark and Amanda on 100.

If you can score 82 or less with this,

you are definitely through to the next round.

-What are you thinking?

-I wasn't very confident,

but I was inspired by Nicki's answer, so I'll say "inspire".

Very good indeed. What are your hobbies, Cliff?

I scuba-dive. I like sport, watching sport mainly,

and drinking beer, probably.

-I think drinking beer's going to be coming up later.

-Yeah,

but after the show. LAUGHTER

Indeed. There's your red line. If you get below that,

you are safely through. Inspire. Let's see how many people said it.

Well done! Very good.

That scores you 28, takes your total up to 45.

-Inspire, Richard.

-Well done, Cliff.

You've had expire, to breathe out, respire, to breathe in and out,

and inspire is to breathe in as well as to inspire.

That's the more usual way we use it these days.

Indeed. Thank you very much.

Now, Leisha, remember we are looking for words ending in P-I-R-E.

Mark and Amanda remain the high scorers on 100.

If you can score 83 or less, Leisha,

we will be saying goodbye to Mark and Amanda

at the end of this round.

Well, I'm having trouble here. I can think of loads of nouns,

-but I'm finding trouble...

-It can be nouns.

Empire.

You're hoping to score 83 points or less with this.

There is your red line.

All you have to do is get below that red line

and you are through to the next round.

Let's see how many people said empire.

It's right, and you're through to the next round. 54.

All it needed to be was correct. Scores you 54.

Takes your total up to 70.

-Richard?

-Well played, Leisha.

Amanda and Mark, it's curtains for you.

Mark, as a film fan, won't like being defeated by the Empire, will he?

Not one bit. LAUGHTER

No, no, no.

Mark, bad luck. I'm afraid your score is now beyond redemption.

-Certainly is.

-Even if you find a pointless answer,

and, ooh, I just think if anybody's going to find a pointless answer,

I think Mark. Just come up with something brilliant.

Um... I was thinking maybe a vampire.

Oh, very good! Very good!

-Let's have a vampire.

-Yes.

Let's see how many people said vampire.

You're joking.

It's right.

21 for vampire.

Takes your total up to 121.

Yeah. Well played, Mark. Vampire, very good answer.

When I first saw the category, the first thing that popped into my head was bonfire.

LAUGHTER

It's very tough. Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers, though.

There were quite a few. To reaspire, which is to aspire once again,

suspire, which is, er...

HE SIGHS HEAVILY

-A sigh.

-Yeah.

Just a sort of long, prolonged suspire.

HE SIGHS HEAVILY Er, a mapepire, however,

is a Caribbean word for any snake that isn't a coral snake.

Can't believe that no-one went for mapepire.

Er, interempire, which is what it sounds like.

Acrospire is the first leaf on a piece of corn.

Photorespire is the act of photorespiration.

Rampire is disabled access for vampires.

LAUGHTER

Leptospire is a type of bacteria,

and evapotranspire means much the same as transpire, actually,

the gases passing through various things.

Evapotranspire, evapotranspiration.

So in short, there are no words we really have heard of

that would have scored you no points.

I guarantee that some people at home will have got some of those.

-I'm sure.

-Somebody always does.

-They always do.

Let's take a look at the worst answers.

These are the answers that most of our 100 people said.

The third was spire, with 44,

then empire, we just heard, with 54,

and expire was actually the biggest answer of all, with 67.

OK. Well, thank you very much, Richard.

At the end of round one, the losing pair

-I'm sorry to say is Mark and Amanda.

-Oh, well!

-You've got so much more to give!

-I know.

-It's so disappointing.

-It's terribly disappointing.

It's been brilliant having you on the show.

-We've had great fun. It's been brilliant.

-So have we.

-Thanks for being great contestants.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

For the remaining three pairs, it's now time for round two.

APPLAUSE

Only two pairs will make it through to the head-to-head,

so one team will leave us at the end of this round.

The category for round two is...

..pop music.

Pop music. Can you decide in your pairs who's going to go first

and who's going to go second? Whoever's going first,

please step up to the podium.

OK. So, this afternoon's round two question concerns...

girl groups and their hits.

In this round, we are about to show you a list of songs.

We asked 100 people to tell us the name of the girl groups

who had hits with these songs. Richard?

We'll show you six songs in each pass.

You've got to tell us which group first had a hit with them.

The more obscure ones will score you fewer points,

and an incorrect answer will score you 100.

Thanks very much, Richard. So we're looking for the girl groups

who had hits with these songs,

and here are the songs.

So, then, Myra, do you know any of those?

I don't think so, but I'm going to have a guess.

-Very good.

-Um...

I'm going to go with...

Girls Aloud singing Whole Again. It's probably wrong.

-Whole Again, Girls Aloud.

-AUDIENCE HISSES ANXIOUSLY

There's a certain amount of inspiration going on in the audience there.

HE IMITATES ANXIOUS HISSING

Only one way to find out if it's correct.

If it is, let's see how many people knew that answer. Girls Aloud,

singing Whole Again.

Bad luck! I think that was a very good guess, Myra.

Sadly it was incorrect, though,

and it scores you the maximum of 100 points.

Sorry. Incorrect. I won't tell you the answer until the end of the round

in case Nicki or John want to have a go at the same one.

OK. Thanks, Richard. Now, then, Nicki,

we are looking for the girl groups that had hits with these songs.

I have a feeling this is going to play rather into your hands.

I definitely know three. I'm a bit iffy on the fourth one,

but I'm also going to go for Whole Again,

-but I think that was Atomic Kitten.

-Atomic Kitten.

-Yep.

Whole Again.

You're hoping to score as little as possible with this.

Let's see if Atomic Kitten is indeed the correct answer

and how many people said it. Atomic Kitten, Whole Again.

It's right!

17! Very well done, Nicki. That's a lovely low score.

-Whole Again, Richard.

-Well played, Nicki.

Whole Again was Atomic Kitten's first number-one single, 2001.

And I think I have an auxiliary fact.

I have a feeling it was written by Andy McCluskey

-of Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark.

-100 percent right.

Get in! Get in!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Not only that, he put the whole band together.

They were entirely his fault. LAUGHTER

Very well done, Nicki. Very good answer. Now, then, John...

Again, I think you're going to be very, very good on this.

Talk us through the board. That's your smorgasbord,

-as the Swedes would say.

-I know all but two.

I know Sound Of The Underground was by Girls Aloud,

Manic Monday was by The Bangles, Survivor was Destiny's Child,

Lost In Music I'm 99 percent sure was Sister Sledge,

but a bit of me thinks it might have been the Pointer Sisters,

and I'm scared of making a terrible mistake.

Will You Love Me Tomorrow might be the Shirelles, but I'm not risking that,

so I'll play it safe and say Sound Of The Underground and Girls Aloud.

Sound Of The Underground, Girls Aloud.

Myra, look how close you were to coming up with a brilliant answer!

And I can think of one now, too.

Oh, no!

It's Sound Of The Underground, Girls Aloud.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many people knew that answer.

It's right.

39!

-Not bad at all. Richard?

-Yes, a safe answer, John.

It was the worst of all the ones you just went through.

Let's look at why. Manic Monday was The Bangles.

That would have scored you fewer points, 34.

Survivor was Destiny's Child. That would've scored you ten.

Very good answer. Will You Love Me Tomorrow was the Shirelles,

which would have scored you six,

and Lost In Music - you're exactly right - was Sister Sledge,

and would have scored you five. That was the best answer.

Let's look at the scores as they stand. Nicki, brilliant answer from you for Whole Again, Atomic Kitten.

Lovely low score of 17. And then we come to 39.

Not a bad score, after all, John, considering the context.

And Myra, way out in front there after your incorrect answer.

Leisha, a lot to do if you want to make it through to the head-to-head.

Right. Can the second players take their places at the podium?

OK. We're going to put six more songs on the board,

and here they are.

Remember, we are looking for the girl groups who had hits with these songs.

You're trying to find the one that the fewest of our 100 people knew.

Daniel, music.

-It's one of your favourite things.

-It is, it is,

and I've done a lot of research into this area through my studies.

-What did you study?

-I took popular music.

-Did you?

-I did.

With special attention on any little area?

Well, early '60s girl bands are a really, really fascinating era,

so I know a lot about them.

Leisha's now thinking, "Don't take the one"...

I know who sang all those,

but I'm just thinking which would be the best one.

John knew who sang all of those,

and he managed to pick the highest- scoring one on the board.

Um, I'm going to probably say Leader Of The Pack,

and say the Shangri-Las.

The Shangri-Las, Leader Of The Pack.

There is your red line. If you can get below that red line

with the Shangri-Las, you are through to the head-to-head.

How many people said the Shangri-Las?

Well done.

You're in the head-to-head once again.

And it continues to go down to 12!

APPLAUSE

A spectacular answer, Daniel. 12. Richard?

Yeah, well played, Daniel. The Shangri-Las.

They only had two UK hits,

and that was very much the more famous of them.

OK. Thank you very much, Richard.

Remember, we're looking for the girl groups that had hits with these songs.

Cliff, we come to you. You are on 17,

because of Nicki's brilliant answer in the first pass.

The highest scorers are Leisha and Myra.

If you can manage to score 82 points or fewer,

you are through to the head-to-head.

There's certainly three I really don't know.

I'm pretty sure Robert De Niro's Waiting was Bananarama.

That's the one you're going for -

Robert De Niro's Waiting, Bananarama.

Well, there's your red line.

If Bananarama gets you below that red line,

you're in the head-to-head, and we say goodbye to Leisha and Myra.

Let's see if it's right, and if it is, how many people said Bananarama.

It's right, and you are through to the head-to-head.

Down it goes. 32!

Takes your total up to 49.

Robert De Niro's Waiting.

Yeah. Well done, Cliff. A number-three hit in 1984.

Leisha and Myra, I'm afraid you are on 100 points,

and I'm afraid there's nothing you can do to save yourselves

from leaving us at the end of this round.

However, maybe, Leisha,

there's a pointless answer on that board,

maybe, and, er, you can... you can leave that as your legacy.

-You can add 250 quid to the jackpot.

-All right.

-What do you think are the chances of that?

-No chance at all.

-Do you know any of the songs?

-I can think of one.

It's the only one I can think of, and probably the top of the board.

Baby Love by The Supremes.

Baby Love, The Supremes. OK. Well, there's no red line for you

because you are the high scorers, so let's just see what we can get

from Baby Love, The Supremes. Let's see if it's right.

If it is, let's see how many people said it.

There we are. It's right.

32!

SHE SPEAKS UNDER APPLAUSE

-Not the top answer on the board.

-Oh!

It was the same score as Robert De Niro's Waiting.

But, as I say, I'm afraid your score is still unassailably high.

132 is your total. Richard?

But lovely to leave with a good answer.

The Supremes. It's their only number one, from 1964.

Baby Love. Let's take a look at what else you could've said.

-The next one down is Freak Like Me.

-That was Sugababes.

Sugababes would have scored you 18. Say You'll Be There...

-The Spice Girls.

-Yeah, one of the lesser-known hits. 16.

And C'est La Vie, a bit more specialist -

-B'Witched.

-B'Witched,

the Irish girl group. Very well done if you got that at home.

Actually, not if you got B'Witched. If you got B'Witched, shame on you.

-I'm a bit embarrassed that I...

-You know who you are.

-Yeah.

Well, Richard, thanks very much. At the end of round two,

the losing pair with the highest score

I'm sorry to say is Leisha and Myra.

Oh, we haven't treated you well on this show.

-It just wasn't our era.

-You will be back next time.

What would you like to come up then?

-Art?

-Sport?

-Musicals?

-Bit of geography.

Well, let's hope you do better next time.

-It's been great having you on the show. Thanks for playing.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

For the remaining two pairs, things will get even more exciting now

as we enter the head-to-head.

Well done! You've made it through to the head-to-head.

Only one pair can make it through to today's final

and play for the jackpot, which currently stands at £4,750.

THEY CHEER

You're going head-to-head on the best of three questions.

For each question each pair needs to give me one answer.

You are now allowed to confer. All you have to do

is come up with an answer that scores less than the other pair,

and you will win that question. The pair that get the best of three

will be playing for today's jackpot. Let's play Pointless.

OK. Here's your first question.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many countries that border China as they could.

Richard?

We're looking for any of the 14 countries

that have a land border with China.

As always, by country we mean a sovereign state that's a member of the UN in its own right.

Any of the 14 countries that border China.

See how many of those you can get at home.

Nicki and Cliff, because you've played best so far,

you get to go first,

so we are looking for those countries that border China.

-THEY WHISPER

-We're going to go for Cambodia.

Cambodia.

OK.

Daniel and John, you can talk out loud.

Do you know any? I'm not helping you on this.

-I'm really not confident.

-No, neither am I.

I'm thinking North Korea, maybe.

-Not Burma.

-What, Burma?

-I'm guessing North Korea,

-potentially.

-OK. We're going to go with North Korea.

You're going with North Korea. Let's take them in order.

Let's take Cambodia first and see if it's right,

and if it is, how many people said Cambodia.

Bad luck!

Cambodia an incorrect answer, so at this stage,

North Korea only has to be correct for you to win this point.

Let's see if it is. Is it correct, and how many people said it?

Yep! Very well done, Daniel and John. You win that point.

There we are. North Korea,

going down to 23.

So after the first question, it is one-nil to Daniel and John.

-Richard?

-Unlucky, Cliff and Nicki.

Cambodia only borders Thailand, Vietnam and Laos.

It doesn't border China, I'm afraid. There are 14 countries that do.

Tajikistan and Kyrgyzstan both would have scored you two points.

Kazakhstan was seven, Laos was eight,

Afghanistan with nine, Bhutan with ten - a very good answer -

Burma, or Myanmar, with 11,

Pakistan, 18, Vietnam, 21. There's North Korea on 23.

Nepal borders China. 24 points for that.

Mongolia, 41, India, 43

and of course Russia up at the top with 57.

Very well done if anyone got all of them at home. Very impressive.

Thanks very much, Richard. So, after the first question,

it's one-nil to Daniel and John. Nicki and Cliff,

you have to win this question to stay in the game.

Here is your second question.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many eponymous Roald Dahl novels as they could.

Eponymous Roald Dahl novels, Richard.

We're looking for any novel for children written by Roald Dahl

that contains the name of the character in its title,

and by character I mean a girl's or boy's name,

so we wouldn't allow BFG or Fantastic Mr Fox.

Any Roald Dahl novel for children

that contains a character in its title.

OK. Thanks very much, Richard.

Daniel and John, you get to go first this time.

THEY WHISPER

OK. We're going to go for Charlie And The Great Glass Elevator.

Charlie And The Great Glass Elevator.

Nicki and Cliff?

Well, I'm really not helping here at all.

HE LAUGHS

There's obviously Charlie And The Chocolate Factory,

-Matilda...

-Matilda, you said.

-We'll go for Matilda.

-Yeah. We'll go for Matilda.

-You're going for Matilda.

So we have Charlie And The Great Glass Elevator and we have Matilda.

Let's take them in order. Should Daniel and John win this point,

they will get through to the final. Nicki and Cliff, you have to win this.

Daniel and John have said Charlie And The Great Glass Elevator.

Is that correct, and if it is, how many people said it?

It's right.

It's right. It's going a long way down. Four!

Very, very well done. That's an impressive low score there.

Nicki and Cliff, this will see whether or not you stay in the game.

Matilda.

Is it right, and if it is, how many people said it? Matilda.

It's right!

21!

So, after two questions, Daniel and John are through to the final,

-two-nil. Richard?

-Yeah. That's very well played.

Charlie And The Great Glass Elevator is the best answer you could give. It was unbeatable.

Let's look at the other answers. Charlie And The Great Glass Elevator with four,

Danny: The Champion Of The World with seven,

George's Marvellous Medicine, eight. There's Matilda on 21.

Charlie And The Chocolate Factory on 23, and right at the top,

-James And The Giant Peach on 35.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

So the losing pair I'm afraid is Nicki and Cliff.

Oh, bad luck! They were tough categories, those, weren't they?

-You were outplayed, I'm afraid, on both of those.

-Well done, guys.

They were two very strong answers, and an unbeatable one,

from Charlie And The Great Glass Elevator.

We'll see you again next time.

You have been fantastic contestants. Thanks so much.

APPLAUSE

But for Daniel and John, it's now time for our Pointless final,

and the chance to win our jackpot of £4,750.

Congratulations. You've seen off all the competition,

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

CHEERING

Now, however, you have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

and at the end of today's show, that stands at £4,750.

The rules are simple. All you have to do is find a pointless answer,

an answer that none of our 100 people gave.

We haven't had any pointless answers on the show today.

Find one now, and you will go home with that money.

First, though, choose a category from these three options.

-Golf, education, fashion designers.

-OK. Golf is a no.

No. Absolutely not. You are an educator, so...

-I am.

-You work in education.

I do. I love my job,

and some would say I'm good at it, but...

-but it could be...

-It could be so much.

Well, they're all very broad areas.

Do either of us know anything about designers, beyond the basic...

-I mean, look at us.

-LAUGHTER

That is very true.

-Um... I'll leave it in your hands.

-Oh, please don't,

because last time you were so mad at me.

I lean towards education, but if you think you know about fashion,

or you want to take a chance on golf...

-Education, then, I guess.

-You're going to go for education.

-Yes.

-What could this question be,

that would make you think, "Ah, we might win this"?

Um, it could be anything to do with pedagogy,

or anything to do with exam histories... I don't know.

-It could be anything.

-What was the first thing you said?

-Pedagogy.

-Oh, pedagogy. Right.

-The business of a pedagogue, someone who teaches.

-Yes.

Like a demagogue, but a pedagogue.

They concern themselves with something called pedagogy,

or I would call pedagogery,

but it's one of those things you only ever see written down.

Or do you mean Giovanni di Pedagocci,

-the famous educationalist?

-Can I recommend golf?

-Golf?

-LAUGHTER

Right. OK.

Let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many Cambridge colleges as they could.

Cambridge colleges. Richard?

We're simply looking for any of the 31 colleges

that make up the University of Cambridge

-as of the start of January 2011.

-Right.

You now have up to one minute to come up with three answers,

and all you need to win that £4,750

is for just one of those to be pointless.

-Your 60 seconds start now.

-Right.

I really don't know.

I was thinking about episodes of University Challenge,

-cos they're always there.

-Is one Trinity?

Cambridge Trinity, but is that many points?

I'm thinking at a punt, maybe name it after, um...

-famous people who've bequeathed...

-Yeah.

-Or been bequeathed.

I don't know how it works. Um...

-Um...

-Let me think.

-I just don't know.

Cambridge...

-Jesus College?

-Jesus College!

-Is that right?

-Back to religion.

It might be Oxford. There's something like that.

-Cambridge...

-It'll be a saint something, won't it?

Yeah, saints. Cambridge, St Thomas?

-Yeah.

-Cambridge, St George?

-St Gregory.

-St Gregory.

-Yeah.

-Do you want to go with those three?

-Yeah.

-It's a real...

I... I don't really know. We've got to think of a third one.

-I thought we were going with -

-Five seconds left.

-St George and St Gregory.

-Yeah.

-Are you sure?

-OK, there is your minute,

your minute up. We were looking for Cambridge colleges.

I now need your three answers.

We're not optimistic, I'm not going to lie to you.

-Cambridge, St George.

-St George's, Cambridge.

-St Gregory's, Cambridge.

-St Gregory's, Cambridge.

-And St Thomas', Cambridge.

-And St Thomas', Cambridge.

Those are your three answers. Of those three,

do you have one you're more confident...

Well, we pretty much made up St Gregory's,

-so that's our least confident.

-Put St Gregory's first.

Er, Saint... Shall we put St Thomas as our best answer?

-Yeah.

-Sounds plausible.

St Thomas' last. OK, well, let's put those up on the board

in that order.

There they are on the board. We're looking for Cambridge colleges.

This was your least confident answer.

You only need one of these to be pointless

to win that £4,750 jackpot.

Let's see if St Gregory's is a correct answer,

and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

St Gregory's.

Oh! Unfortunately...

Not surprised.

St Gregory's is not a pointless answer.

It's not a correct answer, I'm afraid.

You have two remaining chances.

-What would you do with that £4,750?

-Go travelling, maybe.

-Travelling would be great.

-Yeah. Have a nice holiday.

OK. Well, we are looking for Cambridge colleges.

Let's hope your next answer is a correct answer.

St George's.

St George's College. This is your second shot at a jackpot

of £4,750.

It has to be pointless.

Bad luck. Bad luck.

St George's, also, as it turns out, an incorrect answer,

therefore not pointless.

You only have one more chance to win today's jackpot.

This is your third and most confident...

THEY LAUGH

..answer.

It has to be correct, and it has to be pointless.

St Thomas', you said. This had a certain ring to it.

This is for the jackpot, £4,750.

Has to be correct,

and it has to go all the way down to zero.

Will it do those things?

Let's see. St Thomas' college, your third shot at the jackpot.

Oh!

Bad luck!

Oh, dear me.

Unfortunately you didn't manage to find that crucial pointless answer,

so I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £4,750,

which will roll over to the next show.

But you have been brilliant contestants,

and you take home our fabulous Pointless trophy.

-Happy with that.

-Yeah.

-So, Richard?

-Yeah. That was... It's a good attempt.

There are a few saints' colleges - St John's and St Edmund's.

There's a pointless answer which is a saint as well,

which you might have stumbled across.

Jesus is a Cambridge college, as is Trinity,

but neither of those would have been pointless answers.

Let's look at the pointless ones.

Fitzwilliam would have won you the money,

Gonville and Caius, Homerton, which is for teachers,

Lucy Cavendish, which is for over-21 women,

Murray Edwards, which is the new name for New Hall.

St Catharine's. If you'd stumbled across that, you'd have won the money.

Sidney Sussex was pointless. Trinity Hall and Wolfson,

which is another over-21 college, would have won you the money.

Very well done if you said any of those at home.

-If it had been pedagogy...

-Everything would've been fine!

-You would've been in clover now.

-Exactly.

Unfortunately we have to say goodbye to you, Daniel and John,

but you've been brilliant contestants. Thank you for playing.

CHEERING

Sadly nobody's won our jackpot today,

so it rolls over, which means on the next show

we'll be playing for £5,750.

Join us next time to see if someone can win it. Now it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

-And goodbye from me. Goodbye.

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