Episode 48 Pointless

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong.

A very warm welcome to Pointless, the quiz where the lowest scorers

are the biggest winners. Let's meet today's players.

First we welcome William and Suzanne.

You are our first pair on the show today.

-How do you two know each other?

-This is my younger brother,

and we're from Duns in the Scottish Borders.

-What do you do, William?

-I'm a sheep farmer.

See, we haven't had nearly enough sheep farmers on the show.

I think that may be our first.

-At this time of year, we're lucky to get you.

-Just squeezed in.

You're going to be up all hours, aren't you, for the next few months.

-Suzanne, what do you do?

-I'm a tennis coach.

Oh, that's... We haven't had one of those either!

This is awesome.

The sheep-farmer/tennis-coach combo, that's just...

-You've just got everything covered.

-THEY LAUGH

That's amazing. And is that a year-round coaching job?

Yes. I try to keep it year-round. It's sometimes tricky

during the winter months, but we do our best to keep going

in the cold and the not-very-nice weather.

Yeah, I bet. What do you do when you're not working, William?

Play a lot of sport, a bit of tennis, a bit of curling.

LAUGHTER

-Richard!

-This is the pair that keep on giving, isn't it?

-This is awesome.

-They're ticking all the boxes

-that are so far unticked.

-I bet Suzanne's been on the moon.

-THEY LAUGH

-It's wonderful to have you here.

Very best of luck. Enjoy the show. Next we welcome back Ian and Jayne.

You were on the show last time. Everyone gets two chances

to reach the final. This is your last chance.

-Remind us how you did.

-We reached the head to head.

Unfortunately we didn't know anything about the Spice Girls' children.

-What are you hoping for today?

-Hoping to get to the end.

-Hoping to win.

-OK. Fair enough. What will be your means

-of getting to the end?

-Well, er, food and drink, music,

entertainment, TV, sport.

-Ian, what about you?

-I'm a bit of a plane freak.

Oh, you didn't tell us that last time!

-A plane freak!

-HE WHISPERS

-HE WHISPERS

-So you go to airports

-and just watch them come in?

-Airports, air shows, air museums.

-Is it mainly military aircraft?

-Civilian.

I have been known to spend a weekend at Heathrow

in a hotel looking over the runway. LAUGHTER

I bet you have, Ian! Yeah, yeah!

-That's what he told me.

-Got a lot of numbers, have you,

-in that little book?

-A lot of numbers!

I bet! Well... Anyway, very best of luck to the pair of you.

Next we welcome back David and Dave. You were on the show last time.

-Remind us how you did.

-We fell foul of American TV.

Who would have thought? Everyone says TV!

That's the category that universally comes up when we ask what you want.

TV came up. We thought, "We'll do all right here."

-And you didn't do all right.

-No.

What would you like to come up this afternoon, David?

I think films, entertainment, sport.

-Dave?

-Same.

-We like the same things.

-Got to ask - curling?

-No.

-No.

-Not lately.

-Fencing.

You are going to win that hands down.

Well, listen, very best of luck to the pair of you.

Great to have you back. And finally we have got Gayle and Tash.

-How do you two know each other?

-We met eight years ago

through a mutual friend, and we found out recently

that she would've liked to come on the show, so we're not popular.

No longer a friend! Will she be watching at home?

Yes. She'd probably kill me for saying this as well.

-Where are you from, Tash?

-Er, from Warwickshire,

-from Leamington Spa area.

-Lovely. What do you do?

We're both teachers. I teach primary school,

so I teach ten and 11 year olds, and Gayle teaches secondary school.

-What do you teach, Gayle?

-French and German.

French... Oh!

Oh, very, very useful. I'm also assuming that implies

a working knowledge of France and Germany, as well as...

-just the language.

-Little bit, maybe. Little bit.

Surely. Well, that could come in very, very handy indeed.

We'll find out more about all of you throughout the show.

There's only one person left to introduce. When he's not reading encyclopaedias, he's writing them.

-Do you like that? He's my pointless friend. He's Richard.

-Hiya.

Hello.

AUDIENCE CHEERS

-How are you this afternoon?

-I... I mustn't grumble.

Should be a good show. We've got two returning pairs.

Ian and Jayne were very strong last time.

I think they were unlucky not to make it to the final,

so they will be tough to beat, and we didn't see the best of David and Dave.

Thanks, Richard. We put all our questions to 100 people

before the show, but this is Pointless,

so we are after the obscure answers they didn't get.

Everyone's trying to find a pointless answer,

an answer none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Nobody won the jackpot last time, so we add another £1,000 to that,

so today's jackpot starts off at a dizzying £5,000.

AUDIENCE CHEERS

Right! Let's play Pointless.

OK. In the first round,

each of you must give me one answer,

and you cannot confer with your partner.

The team with the highest score at the end will be eliminated,

so be careful that's not you.

If anyone gives me an incorrect answer,

they will score the maximum of 100 points.

OK. Our first category this afternoon is...

..sport.

Sport. Decide in your pairs who's going to go first and second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

Let's find out what the question is. We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many football clubs named "Town" or "City"

as they could. Football clubs named "Town" or "City".

-Richard?

-We're looking for any club in the English professional leagues

in the 2010, 2011 season whose name includes Town or City.

By the professional leagues, we mean the English Premier League,

the Championship, League One and Two.

OK. Thank you very much, Richard. Now, William and Suzanne,

you all drew lots before the show, and this afternoon

you get to go first. Yippee, Suzanne!

So, then, football...

Oh, English!

That's OK. We're from England originally,

and football's not... It's not a great subject,

but it's not too bad. I think I'm going to play reasonably safely

and go with our local football team from when we lived in Yorkshire,

and that is Huddersfield Town.

Huddersfield Town!

William quite pleased with that. Let's find out if it's right,

and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

You're hoping to score as few points as possible. Huddersfield Town.

Well done. It's right.

Oh, very well done, Suzanne! That's great.

12 points for Huddersfield Town.

Very well played, Suzanne. Good start.

They're in League One. Haven't been in the top flight since the '70s.

Indeed. Well done. Now, then, Jayne.

We are looking for football clubs named Town or City.

I think I'm going to go... I think it's Macclesfield Town.

-I hope.

-OK. That's your answer. Macclesfield Town.

Another nod from Ian. You're hoping to score as few points as possible.

Let's see if it's correct, and if it is, how many people said Macclesfield Town.

There we are. It's right.

Ooh! Very, very well done, Jayne.

APPLAUSE

That's a great answer. Scores you just three points.

Well played, Jayne. Great answer. They joined the League in 1997,

Macclesfield Town, currently in League Two.

OK. Now, then, Dave, Towns and Citys in football clubs.

I do like my football,

and there's a town that I go through on my regular trips down to Devon,

and they are quite new to the League. Um, Yeovil.

You're hoping to score as few points as possible.

It is right, and if it is, how many people said Yeovil Town?

Good luck, Dave.

It's right.

Down it goes. Oh! Very well done!

Yeovil Town scores you four.

Well played, Dave. Formerly the great FA Cup giant-killers,

Yeovil Town. Played on a sloping pitch,

-but now all the way up in League One.

-Thank you very much.

So, Tash, we come to you.

What is the most obscure football club named Town or City

you can think of?

I'm going to be honest. This isn't my subject,

surprisingly enough, but I'm a Sunderland football supporter,

so the only thing that I can remember

is that we had a negative chant about another team

which was called Swindon Town, so I'm going to say Swindon Town,

and hope that it wasn't just put in to rhyme.

It was actually their name.

-To rhyme with...

-"Down".

OK. Good.

LAUGHTER

Swindon Town, you're saying. Let's see if Swindon Town is right,

and if it is, let's see how many people said it. Good luck, Tash.

Yes, it's right!

Very well done, Tash! That's a great answer.

Swindon Town, scoring you just five points.

-Richard?

-Well played, Tash. What a brilliant round from everybody.

They only had one season in the Premier League,

-and managed to concede 100 goals.

-We're halfway through the round,

so let's take a look at the scores as they stand.

Amazing low-scoring round. On three points, Jayne.

Very, very best answer there. Macclesfield Town. Very good indeed.

One up from you, we come to Dave and David on four

with Yeovil Town, then up one for Swindon Town on five.

Suzanne, brilliant, brilliant score of 12.

Normally that would've been the lowest score of the lot.

But in this low-scoring round, you happen to have the highest score,

which means, William, you have your work cut out in the next pass.

Luckily, I think you are the man for the job.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK. Remember, we are looking for football clubs named Town or City.

Now, then, Gayle, the high scorers are William and Suzanne on 12.

If you can score six or less,

you are through to the next round, definitely.

OK.

I am not an expert on football at all,

and City's going to be really common,

so the only town I can think of, which I think is correct,

-is Ipswich Town.

-Ipswich Town.

-Might be completely wrong, though.

-There is your red line.

If you can get below that with Ipswich Town,

you are definitely through to the next round.

Let's see if it's right, and if it is, how many people said Ipswich.

It's right.

APPLAUSE

That's quite a high score. 26. Takes your total up to 31.

-Richard?

-Very well played, Gayle. That's a correct answer.

Thanks very much, Richard. OK, David.

We are looking for football clubs named Town or City.

The high scorers are Gayle and Tash on 31.

You are on four. If you can score 26 or less,

through you go to the next round.

They've been some good answers so far.

They really have, haven't they?

I hope it's not too much of a gamble. I'll go for Lincoln City.

Lincoln City! Is it right? How many people said it?

There is your red line. If you get below that,

Lincoln City sees you through to the next round. Lincoln City.

It is a fantastic answer. It's right.

I suspect this will see you through.

Yes, it does!

-Five.

-APPLAUSE

That's a great answer, David. Scores you five.

Leaves you in single figures with a total of nine.

-Brilliant total. Richard?

-Very well played, David.

A good subject for your team. They did drop out of the League,

-but are now back in League Two.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

So, now, Ian, I have a feeling...

I have a feeling we're going to be dazzled.

Maybe a pointless answer, if such a thing exists in this category.

I was going to say Lincoln, because it's close to where I live,

but I'm going to go for another relatively Midlands club.

-I'll go for Northampton Town.

-Northampton Town?

Gayle and Tash remain our high scorers on 31.

You are on three, thanks to Jayne's spectacular first answer.

If you score 27 or less with Northampton Town,

you are through to the next round. There's your red line.

Is it right, and if it is, how many people said it?

Well done, Ian.

Looking good. Yes!

Oh, very, very well done!

Scores you five. Takes your total up to eight,

an even lower total than Dave and David.

Well played, Ian. Northampton Town, the Cobblers. Famous in the '60s.

Went all the way up from Division Four to One,

and then all the way back down again.

Whoops!

Yeah.

Cobblers.

-LAUGHTER

-William,

you are on 12. Gayle and Tash are on 31.

If you can score 18 or less with this answer,

you are through to the next round. Anything over 18,

and we say goodbye to you now. Are you confident?

A lot of my answers have gone,

-so I'm on my borderline ones now.

-OK.

OK. Suzanne looking really quite nervous!

LAUGHTER

It's just whether they're still in the football League,

and if they're actual towns. You start to doubt yourself.

I've got two, which I'm switching between.

OK.

I think I'm going to have to go for...Chesterfield.

Let's see if Chesterfield is right...

..and if it is, let's see if it can get you down below that red line.

Chesterfield. Good luck.

Oh, no!

Bad luck!

Evidently that is a 100-point-scoring answer,

-which means it must be incorrect.

-It isn't a town.

It takes your total up to an unbeatable 112.

Gayle and Tash are your new best, best friends!

We will have to find out why that was incorrect. Richard?

Yeah, Chesterfield's just Chesterfield, I'm afraid.

There's a couple of pointless answers on the board, though.

Let's take a look at them.

Shrewsbury Town was a pointless answer, but a well known team.

Cheltenham Town were in League Two. That was a pointless answer.

Aldershot Town a very low score. Bradford City was low score,

Exeter City was a low score. But Chesterfield is just Chesterfield.

Let's take a look at the obvious ones most of our 100 people said.

Bristol City was 25 points.

Ipswich Town was one of the high scorers,

but you're through to the next round. 26 points.

And Manchester City on 84, far and above everybody else.

Thanks, Richard. So at the end of round one,

the losing pair with the highest score, William and Suzanne.

As you saw, there were a few pointless and low-scoring Towns and Citys there.

Were you thinking of any of those ones?

I had. Northampton was going to be my...

-And what about those Towns? Shrewsbury?

-I should, yeah.

-Cheltenham!

-Yeah.

-Aldershot...

Oh, dear. Well, well, well.

You've learnt a painful lesson from your first experience on Pointless,

but we will see you again next time,

when I hope you will make it all the way through to the final.

Thanks for playing. Great contestants!

APPLAUSE

For the remaining three pairs, it's now time for round two.

AUDIENCE CHEERS

Only two pairs can make it through to the head to head,

so one team in front of me now will be leaving at the end of this round.

Your category for round two is...

Literature.

Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second,

and whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. Our round-two question this afternoon concerns...

Celebrity autobiographies and their authors.

In this round we'll show you a list of autobiographies.

We asked 100 people to tell us which celebrities they belong to.

-Richard.

-We're going to show you six titles in each pass.

The more obscure titles, if you give us the author, you'll score fewer points.

If you give us an incorrect answer, you'll score 100 points.

There are 12 in all, so see how many you can get at home.

Thanks very much, Richard. We are looking for the celebrities

each of these autobiographies belong to.

I love the way we say "belong to" rather than "written by".

Who do these autobiographies belong to?

And we have got...

HE READS TITLES

-Let me read those again.

-HE READS TITLES

So, then, Jayne, there are the autobiographies.

You need to supply me with a celebrity,

preferably a really obscure one, who wrote one of those books.

Struggling a bit here.

Um...

I think I'll go for Dear Fatty, which I think is Dawn French.

Let's see if it's right, and if it is, let's see how many people knew that answer.

It's right.

26.

-26 points for Dear Fatty.

-Yeah. Dawn French, 2008.

It's a series of letters to important people in her life,

and the Fatty in the title is Jennifer Saunders.

Thanks very much. Now, then, David,

autobiographies of the famous.

Struggling as well on this one myself.

Um...

It's going to be a guess, so I'll go for A Long Walk To Freedom,

Nelson Mandela.

A Long Walk To Freedom. Complete guess,

-or somewhere at the back of your mind...

-Slightly educated,

-but more a guess than not.

-OK. Was that a good guess?

Let's find out. Is it right, and if it is,

how many people said The Long Walk To Freedom, Nelson Mandela?

-Yes, it's right.

-Yes!

It's right.

-27!

-APPLAUSE

Impeccable grouping.

-Richard?

-Yeah. Long Walk To Freedom, from 1994,

Nelson Mandela's account of his life and imprisonment.

Gayle, you're the last person to have this board.

All these books remaindered for you.

Well, I knew Dear Fatty and A Long Walk To Freedom,

and I don't know any of the others. I was hoping they'd still be there,

-so anything else that I do is going to have to be a guess.

-OK.

So...

..I'm working on the basis that Ooh! What A Lovely Pair

has got to be a comedian of some sort,

and I've got two in my head and I don't know which to go with,

so I'm going to take a really random plump at Eric Morecambe.

Is it Eric Morecambe? Let's see if that's a good guess

or not. How many people said Eric Morecambe, if it's right?

Oh! Bad luck, Gayle. I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer,

which means you score the maximum of 100 points. Richard?

-Yeah. Sorry, Gayle. It's actually Ant and Dec.

-Oh!

Would have scored you ten points, so would've been a very good answer.

Dreams From My Father is Barack Obama,

would have scored you seven. I Don't Mean To Be Rude But...

is Simon Cowell. Would have scored you one points.

And The Women I was Born To Be was Alexander Armstrong, also one point.

LAUGHTER

-We haven't yet actually...

-It was also the title

of Susan Boyle's autobiography, at one point.

OK, let's have a look at the scores,

as we're halfway through the round.

On 26, Jayne and Ian,

then we go up one point to David and Dave on 27.

And then we go up an awful lot to Gayle and Tash,

on 100 points.

Tash, you've got your work cut out.

How good are you on celebrity autobiographies?

Um, I knew two other ones on that board.

-I knew the Simon Cowell one.

-Simon Cowell scored only one!

-That would've been perfect!

-Why don't you whisper it to him?

-THEY LAUGH

-Gayle, now, we know why.

THEY LAUGH

We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK. We're going to put six more autobiographies on the board,

and here they are. We have got...

Remember, we are looking for the celebrities

that these autobiographies belong to,

and you want the one the fewest of our 100 people knew.

Tash, what's that board look like to you?

-Not as good as the other one.

-SHE LAUGHS

There's... There's three that I know,

but I think they're all going to be quite well known ones,

so I think I have to plump for the one

that is the least, maybe, likely.

The Sound Of Laughter, Peter Kay.

The Sound Of Laughter, Peter Kay.

You are the high scorers on 100, so there's no red line for you.

You just have to hope this goes down as far as possible.

Let's see if Peter Kay is the author of The Sound Of Laughter,

and how many people said it.

13.

13 points. Is that going to be enough, I wonder,

-to keep you in the game. Richard?

-Yeah, good answer.

He's released two autobiographies.

He did The Sound Of Laughter and Saturday Night Peter.

Thanks very much, Richard. Now, then, Dave.

The high scorers, on 113, are Tash and Gayle.

You're on 27. If you can score 85 or less,

you are through to the next round.

Unfortunately I read more novels than autobiographies.

Could say I live in fantasy land.

Um, but I think My Booky Wook

was written by Russell Brand.

My Booky Wook, Russell Brand. Some fierce nodding going on

from the assembled company. Let's see if that's right, and if it is,

how many people said it. There's your red line. Below that, through to the head to head.

Good luck, Dave.

Well done. You're through.

42...

-..for My Booky Wook. That takes your total to 69.

-Yeah, big score.

He's also done Booky Wook 2.

Very good. Now, then, Ian, you are on 26.

The high scorers remain Tash and Gayle on 113.

You have to score 86 or less with this answer

to be through to the head to head. What are you thinking of the board?

You're the last to have it, so you can talk through the other books.

I'm thinking this is where we go home.

Because I've never seen any of those titles whatsoever

before in my life.

HE SIGHS

I'm just going to have to take a completely random stab in the dark

and go Moonwalk and Michael Jackson. That's all I can think of.

Moonwalk and Michael Jackson.

There's your red line. Let's see if Moonwalk is by Michael Jackson.

If it is, let's see how many people said it. Best of luck, Ian.

Moonwalk, Michael Jackson.

Ooh, it's right!

Very well done. 34.

34 takes your total up to 60.

It was either Michael Jackson or Neil Armstrong.

Quite. Or Buzz Aldrin.

Or... Buzz who?

Yeah. Very well played, Ian. It's a risk, but it paid off.

From 1988, Michael Jackson's Moonwalk.

And the book was edited by Jackie Onassis.

-"Written" by Michael Jackson.

-Edited...

-Edited by Jackie Onassis.

That famous doyenne of the literary scene!

Yeah.

Wow!

I read it, and rang him, and said, "Michael, it's brilliant."

LAUGHTER Yeah, pretty much.

Let's take a look at the rest of the board. Humble Pie.

The clue's in the pie, not the humble. It's Gordon Ramsey.

Would have scored you five. Look Who It Is! Do you know that one?

It's a tough one. It's Alan Carr. Would have scored you three.

And It's Not What You Think is the best answer on the board.

Very well done if you said Chris Evans. Would have scored you one.

Thanks. At the end of round two, the losing pair with the highest score, it's Gayle and Tash!

It's such a shame to say goodbye to you, but we will see you again next time,

when I have no doubt you will storm through to the final.

-We'll look forward to that. Great contestants.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, things will get even more exciting

as we enter the head to head.

Very well done, Ian and Jayne, David and Dave.

You've made it to the head to head.

Only one pair can make it through to play for the jackpot,

which currently stands at £5,000.

You'll now go head to head on the best of three questions.

For each question, each pair must give me just one answer,

and you are now allowed to confer. Come up with an answer

that scores less than the other pair, and you win that question.

The pair who get to the best of three

will be playing for today's jackpot. Let's play Pointless.

OK. Here is your first question.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many Sex And The City characters as they could.

Sex And The City characters. Richard?

We're looking for any of the four main characters from the TV series,

the character names, not the actresses' names,

and first names will be allowed.

OK. Thanks very much. Dave really not looking at all happy with that.

David pretending not to look happy with that.

Ian and Jayne, because you've played best so far,

you get to go first.

-Think.

-I'm trying, I'm trying.

THEY WHISPER

OK. Go with it. Go.

OK. It sounds like Ian has come up with an answer.

Jayne... Doesn't have full backing, I'm guessing.

-I think there's one called Carrie.

-OK. You're going to say Carrie.

Carrie. David and Dave, you can now talk out loud.

Carrie has gone.

Neither of us watch Sex And The City.

Oh, I could have said "Carrie doesn't live here anymore"!

THEY LAUGH

-Sorry. "Carrie" on.

-DAVE GROANS

-Susan?

-We'll go for Susan, yeah.

OK, Susan. We have Carrie, we have Susan.

Ian and Jayne said Carrie. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, how many people said it. Carrie.

It's right.

48.

David and Dave have said Susan. Let's see if that's right.

It's four names. Could easily be a Susan among them.

-No chance.

-Could easily be. Let's see if there's a Susan among them,

and if there is, how many people said Susan.

Bad luck, David and Dave.

No Susan on Sex And The City. So, after the first question,

Ian and Jayne are up one-nil. Richard?

There's a Susan in Desperate Housewives,

but not Sex And The City. Three answers would've beaten Carrie.

Carrie was the top answer. Let's look at all four.

Charlotte York, 24, Miranda Hobbes, 26,

Samantha Jones, played by Kim Cattrall, 35,

and Carrie Bradshaw, Sarah Jessica Parker, on 48.

OK. Thanks very much, Richard. Here is your second question.

David and Dave, you have to win this to stay in the game.

Here it is. We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many elements that don't contain the letters of their symbol

as they could. Elements that don't contain the letters of their symbol.

We're looking for any element on the periodic table

whose name doesn't contain any of the letters

of its chemical symbol.

Thank you very much. David and Dave, you go first this time.

THEY WHISPER

-Go for sodium.

-Yeah.

-OK, David and Dave.

We'll go for, er, sodium.

You're going to go for sodium.

Ian and Jayne?

There's some obvious ones like gold, silver, mercury...

-Er, but potassium... But we think...

-Ian says tungsten.

Ian says tungsten? Ian said Carrie, Jayne.

-That's why you're one up.

-Yeah.

-Ian also says tungsten.

-Yes.

Frankie says "relax".

THEY LAUGH

OK. So we have sodium and we have tungsten.

David and Dave, let's see if sodium's right,

and if it is, let's see how many people said it. Sodium.

-17!

-APPLAUSE

17 for sodium.

Tungsten. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many people said tungsten.

This, if you win it, will see you through to the final.

It's right.

Oh, and you are through. Oh, and it's pointless!

AUDIENCE CHEERS

Wow!

Wow! We don't get many of those in the head to head.

That is fantastic. Very, very well done indeed.

That adds £250 to our jackpot,

taking the total up to £5,250.

Very, very well done indeed.

And it means that, after only two questions,

you are through to the final in straight sets. Well done. Richard?

We should start manufacturing our "Ian Says Tungsten" T-shirts,

-shouldn't we?

-Yeah!

Tungsten's W, from wolfram, which is the German for tungsten

and an alternative name for it. There are nine on the list,

and some people at home will be trying to get them all, so let's take a look.

Tungsten, which is W, was a pointless answer.

Antimony, which is Sb, also pointless.

Mercury, Hg, five, sodium, as we've heard, Na, for 17,

lead, Pb, 22. Let's take a look at the top four.

Potassium, which is K, 23,

Iron, Fe, 25, and gold in the silver-medal position with Au, 27,

and silver in the gold-medal position, with Ag, 29.

Thanks very much. So the losing pair at the end of the head to head,

it's David and Dave! Oh, you've come so far!

American TV again.

American TV once again.

Do you just not watch it?

-No!

-Oh, it just seems so unfair!

The veterans of so many brave campaigns

-through Pointless's past!

-THEY LAUGH

-And now we come to this.

-We've enjoyed it, though.

-It's been fantastic.

-So have we. It's been lovely having you.

I'm sorry you don't carry away a Pointless trophy at the end of it.

You deserve to. You've been wonderful contestants.

-Thank you for playing.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

But for Ian and Jayne, it's now time for our Pointless final,

and the chance to win our jackpot of £5,250.

Congratulations. You've fought off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy,

-so very well done.

-Excellent.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £5,250.

AUDIENCE CHEERS

The rules are very simple. All you have to do to win that money

is to find a pointless answer, an answer none of our 100 people could think of.

We've had one pointless answer on the show today,

and you came up with it just now with tungsten.

You only have to find one more pointless answer now

to go home with that money. First, choose a category

from these three options.

Here you are. You can have cricket, MPs or words.

-Well...

-Well...

-How loud do you want to talk?

HE LAUGHS MPs is a no-no.

MPs is a no-no. You'd have to do cricket on your own.

-So I think...

-You'll have to do words on your own.

-THEY LAUGH

-You're on your own!

-Do you want cricket, or...

-I think we'll do words.

Words? Sure?

-I know more about words than cricket.

-OK.

-I hope.

-He knows a lot about cricket!

-HE LAUGHS

-We'll go for words, please.

-You'll go for words?

OK. Let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many words ending in "tend",

T-E-N-D, as they could.

-Richard?

-We're looking for any word that ends in the letters T-E-N-D

that appear in the OED. That's the new online edition.

Anything with a hyphen in the OED won't count,

so any words ending T-E-N-D in the OED.

OK. You now have up to one minute to come up with three answers,

and all you need to win that £5,250 is for just one of those answers

to be pointless. Your 60 seconds start now.

We don't want obvious things like pretend or...

-Overextend.

-I was thinking of overextend.

-Does that have a hyphen?

-I'm not sure.

-Right.

-What about distend?

-Distend.

Er...

-Overextend. Underextend?

-Yes.

What about... What about hyperextend?

Hyperextend. Er...

Er...

We're going to have to go for something completely wild, aren't we?

OK. Right. Overextend?

Er, let's have a think. What else? Er...

-I can't help you.

-I'm thinking, I'm thinking.

Er... Tend.

-No.

-Let's go with those, then.

-Mind's gone blank.

-Overextend.

-Let's put distend in, just to be safe.

-Five left.

-OK.

-OK?

OK. You have three answers.

-Your minute's up.

-We'll go with distend...

-Yep.

-..overextend...

-Yep.

-..and hyperextend.

-Of those three,

I think I can guess which you think is your best punt

-at a pointless answer.

-I think hyperextend.

-We'll put that last.

-Put distend first.

And we'll put distend first.

OK. We'll put them up on the board in that order,

and here they are.

There they are.

We were looking for words ending in T-E-N-D.

You said this was your least confident answer.

You only need to find one pointless answer to win that £5,250 jackpot.

ALEXANDER SIGHS

OK.

Let's see if distend is right,

and if it is, let's see how many people said distend.

Good luck.

Well, it's right. This gives us a chance to see

what our 100 people know about words ending in T-E-N-D.

Down it goes. Distend. Down into single figures! Eight!

SHE LAUGHS

APPLAUSE

That's good. I think that's very good.

I think we can draw a lot of optimism

-from that.

-Relief.

Unfortunately it's not a pointless answer, but you knew it wouldn't be.

That is just...to look good on the board.

THEY LAUGH

You only have two more chances to win today's jackpot.

-£5,250! What would you do with that?

-Ooh...

-We'll go somewhere nice.

-We will go somewhere nice.

I've got a son who lives in Australia,

so we might bring forward the plans to go and visit him again.

Very good indeed. Well, very best of luck.

We are looking for words ending in T-E-N-D.

We are now into a different class of word.

These are the words that generally win Pointlesses

on these sorts of rounds, sort of portmanteau words.

Let's hope nobody said your next answer.

This has to be pointless, for you to win that £5,250.

Let's see how many people said overextend.

Overextend. Can't be hyphenated.

It has to be one word in the OED.

Let's see if it's right, and if it is,

let's see how far down it goes. Very best of luck.

This is your second shot at that £5,250 jackpot.

Overextend.

Well, it's right.

It's right. This for £5,250.

Has to go all the way to zero. Into single figures.

-Down it goes! Still going down!

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Very, very well done. That's absolutely incredible.

Thank you.

Oh, dear!

Congratulations! You managed to find that all-important pointless answer.

That means you go home with a jackpot of £5,250!

AUDIENCE CHEERS

Well, Richard, what about that for a pointless answer?

Brilliant. Well played. The perfect team, really,

because Jayne gave us overextend, and Ian gave us hyperextend,

which is also a pointless answer!

So absolutely brilliantly played. I'll take you through a few more pointless answers,

because people will have got different ones at home.

There's hyperextend. Misintend, mistend,

all pointless answers. Obtend, to proffer an opinion,

that's pointless. There's overextend, reintend...

Repetend, which is the digits repeated

in a recurring decimal fraction,

and stend, which is to leap or bound, also a stick used by a butcher

to hold open a carcase,

rather charmingly.

But very, very well done. Two pointless answers,

-and money well earned.

-And how! Well, thanks once again

to our winning players, Ian and Jayne,

who go away with today's jackpot of £5,250.

AUDIENCE CHEERS

Join us next time, when we'll put more obscure knowledge to the test

-on Pointless. Goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

And goodbye from me. Goodbye.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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