Episode 50 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and a very warm welcome to Pointless

where obvious answers mean nothing and obscure answers mean everything.

Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

So first we welcome Graham and David. You're our first pair on the show today.

-How do you two know each other?

-Graham is married to my sister and we've known each other for 20 years.

20 years. Have you ever quizzed together before?

On a less formal basis than this, a few pub quizzes.

-This is a very formal basis. Yes, nothing informal about this. Graham, what do you do?

-I'm a civil servant.

-Which department of the civil service?

-UK Border Agency.

Oh!

-Leave it there.

-Leave it there.

What do you hope is going to come up this afternoon, David?

-Films and books, really. That's my main interests.

-Films and books. Graham, how about you?

-Anything apart from films and books.

-This is perfect.

Very best of luck. Great to have you on the show.

Next, we welcome Matt and Andy. How do you two know each other?

We've worked together in IT sales for four years.

-Indeed. Where have you come from?

-Portsmouth.

-Matt, what are you hoping is going to come up? What's your specialist area?

-Literature and cricket.

-A combination of the two would be perfect.

-You don't want that. Spread your knowledge, Matt.

Two rounds. Andy, what are your obsessions?

-You don't have to have obsessions. I'm not encouraging it.

-I can't talk about that now.

Well, it might come up.

History. Very much into history.

Any particular favourite period of history?

English medieval history and, in particular, Ancient Greek, Roman, a little bit of Egyptian.

Does that mean you also have a handle on Latin and Ancient Greek?

No.

I won't push it. OK, very best of luck to the pair of you. Great to have you here.

Next, we welcome back David... You're David P today. You've got initials after your name.

-I've been upgraded.

-You have - David P, because we have David H here in the green on desk one.

David and James, you were on the show last time. You get two chances to reach the Pointless final.

-Remind us how you did.

-We went out in the second round on a geography question.

-Skellig Michael.

It was a pretty good punt. You said it was in the Shetland Islands. It turns out it's in Ireland.

Yeah, if I ever come across Skellig Michael, I'll kick it.

You know what? I wouldn't if I were you. UNESCO will go mental!

It's a heritage site, you know.

-I must remember that.

-David, what do you do in your spare time? What occupies you?

-I play in a band.

-What do you play?

-I play the drums.

-What's the name of your band?

-We're called The Stags.

-The Stags?

-Yeah.

-Did you get the idea on some stag weekend?

-I don't know.

The band was already formed before I was invited to join.

-What happened to the old drummer?

-I don't know.

-(He died.)

-Did he?

That'll be why they never mention him.

-That's the curse of The Stags' drummer.

-They've had seven or eight drummers now.

The legend of it is written up on Skellig Michael.

-Fantastic. Very best of luck to you, James and David.

-Thank you.

And finally, we welcome back Paul and Alejandra. You were on the show last time. Remind us what happened.

We left after the first round. It was totally my fault.

-Yes, you picked a Bill Murray film that didn't have Bill Murray in it, I'm afraid.

-Exactly.

-Dear, oh dear.

-Richard, can I maybe be called Alejandro from now on?

-That would be lovely.

Just spice things up a bit. "Alexander" is a bit dull.

-Alejandro.

-Alejandro.

And you can call me Richard.

-Say it again.

-Richard.

-Richard.

-Yeah. Do you like it?

-Yeah, I like that.

-Yeah, Alejandro.

-Good pronunciation.

-Thank you very much. Paul, what do you want to come up?

-World affairs, geography, something like that.

Well, you were fantastic last time. You only got the chance to give one answer, but it was pointless.

-Your record is unblemished.

-I hope there's some more pointless answers in there.

-I hope so. Best of luck.

We'll find out more about all of you during the show.

There's one person left to introduce. He'd be the head boy at the school of obscurity -

-my pointless friend Richard.

-Hello.

-APPLAUSE

-Hiya.

-Headmaster is what you'd be.

-Do you think?

-Not head boy.

-How are you, Alejandro? Are you OK?

-Well, Richard, I'm fine.

-Good.

-How are you?

-Not too bad. We've got two returning pairs today.

I think probably both are quite strong pairs. Tripped up, unfortunately, both pairs.

But it should be very good and we do have a bit of geography which a lot of people seem to have asked for.

Everyone asks for it and when it comes up, they run for the hills.

They do. When it comes up, they go, "My worst subject!"

When people say geography, they mean countries and capitals, rather than oxbow lakes and relief maps.

-Relief maps are the only thing I know.

-You're going to love Round 2.

-I've got a relief map of London.

-Is that a map where they show all the public toilets?

We put all our questions to 100 people before the show,

but we are after the obscure answers that they didn't get.

Everyone is trying to find a pointless answer that none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens, we add £250 to the jackpot.

Nobody won the jackpot last time, so we add another £1,000 to that.

So today's jackpot starts off at £2,500.

APPLAUSE

Right, let's play Pointless.

In the first round, each of you must give me one answer.

You cannot confer with your partner.

The team with the highest score at the end of the round is eliminated.

OK, our first category this afternoon is...

Can you decide in your pairs who's going first, who's going second?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many things found in a church as they could. Richard?

All the correct answers in this round are things you might find in a church building.

That's areas, furniture, decorations or items used for worship.

OK, thanks very much, Richard.

Graham and David, you all drew lots before the show and you get to go first.

We'll give you a choice of seven possible answers in each pass.

Your first set of seven answers reads like this.

I can tell you that at least one of those answers is pointless and at least one of them is incorrect,

so try and avoid picking the incorrect ones or you score the maximum of 100 points.

-Graham, are you something we might occasionally find in a church?

-No, not really.

Not a particularly good round for me, this one.

Right, OK.

I think I'll go for "transept".

OK, you're going to say "transept".

You are hoping for a nice obscure answer that will score as few points as possible.

-What do you think a transept might be?

-I don't know.

It rings a bell somewhere.

I've heard of it somewhere, so I'm hoping it's in a church.

Let's see if it's right and if it is, how many people said "transept".

Very well done, Graham.

-That's a great answer.

-APPLAUSE

"Transept" scores you 1 point. Richard?

Well played, Graham. The transept, it's the projecting arms of a cross-shaped church.

Thanks very much. Now then, Andy...

-Andy, how is this for you?

-Not good.

-Not a good category?

-No.

As in you have to guess completely or...?

If I went for one of the more obvious ones, it wouldn't be a guess.

-I'm hedging my bets on one of them and I don't know if I'm brave enough to go for it.

-Mm-hm.

I will go for...

-"tabernacle".

-You're going to go for "tabernacle".

You're hoping to find something correct and obscure in a church.

You're saying "tabernacle". Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said it.

It's right.

Very well done - 3.

-APPLAUSE

-The low scores continue.

-Tabernacle, Richard?

-Yes, a small cabinet or chest in which the consecrated hosts are kept.

Thank you very much. Now then, James, we are looking for things you might find in a church.

Well, Alexander, I wish I'd paid a bit more attention during church parade when I was in the Cubs.

There's at least one pointless answer still on that board.

I don't think I'm brave enough to go for it,

so I'll go with "chalice" which I think is the thing you take Communion out of, that contains the wine.

It might very well be. Let's see, let's hope it is,

not a poisoned chalice.

OK, let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people knew that answer - "chalice".

11.

APPLAUSE

Not a bad score at all, but in the context, quite a high one. Richard?

Well done, James, and the first person to know what his word meant.

Yes, the cup used to hold the wine in Communion or Mass.

Thanks very much. Paul, we are looking for things in a church.

-Why not see if you can't find a pointless answer again and keep your record clean?

-OK, um...

I did want to say "transept"

and I was also considering "chalice" and "tabernacle".

"Pews" will be quite high-scoring, "font" as well probably.

I think "Paschal candle" is correct. I think it might be something to do with Advent.

"Catapelta", I've never heard of.

I think... It's a low-scoring round, though, so I need to take a risk.

-I'll go for "Paschal candle" and hope...

-Paschal candle.

-OK. You think it's something to do with Advent?

-I think so, yes.

-We'll find out.

Let's see if it's right and if it is, how many people said "Paschal candle".

Very well done, Paul. That's right.

-There we are, a pointless answer!

-APPLAUSE

That's your second pointless answer in two answers.

Very well done, you. That adds £250 to today's jackpot. It takes the total up to £2,750.

And it scores you absolutely nothing.

Very well done, Paul. Really gutsy to take that risk as well.

Not used at Advent, but used at Easter. Let's take a look at the rest of the answers.

You were all right to avoid "pews" and "font".

"Pews" would have scored you 71

and "font" would have scored you lower, actually - 44,

but still more than you'd want.

The catapelta is a medieval form of torture, sort of like a press in which to crush a criminal.

-The catapelta. It's horrible, isn't it?

-Yeah, horrid.

That was incorrect, not found in a church.

If you did find it in your church, time to find another church!

Thanks very much, Richard.

Halfway through the round, let's look at the scores.

Well, Paul and Alejandra...

Zero. Fabulous low score. Then we come up to Graham and David on 1 - another fabulous low score.

-Up to Andy and Matt on 3 - fabulous low score. James...

-Who'd have thought it?

-Way out ahead on 11!

So, listen, David P,

it's all on your shoulders in the next pass.

Very best of luck.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

We're going to put seven more answers on the board and here they come.

We're looking for things found in a church.

I'm going to read those one more time.

Again at least one of those answers is pointless

and at least one is incorrect, so try and avoid those incorrect ones at all costs.

-Alejandra, how well did Paul do there?

-His mum will be proud.

-Yes.

-LAUGHTER

Um...

In spite of what people may think about Latin Americans, that we're all Catholic and religious, I'm not.

-Ah!

-I used to be, but...

My answer is "mantis".

Mantis... OK, last time round, Paul scored nothing, you scored 100.

-Let's hope that's not going to happen this time.

-Thank you.

Let's see how many people said "mantis". There's your red line.

Below that red line, you're in the next round.

Ohh... Alejandra!

History repeating itself.

Unfortunately, "mantis" is an incorrect answer which means you score the maximum of 100 points.

That takes your total up to 100. Richard?

Sorry, Alejandra, not commonly found in a church unless it has an infestation of praying mantises.

OK, now then, David P, you are on 11.

You've been thrown a bit of a lifeline there. The high scorers are Alejandra and Paul on 100.

Should you score 88 or less with this answer, you are definitely through to the next round.

I'm going to go safe for me and I'm going to go for "nave".

"Nave", second on the list. Let's see if "nave" is right and if it is, how many people said it.

It's right. You're through.

Very well done - 10.

10 for "nave" takes your total up to 21.

-Richard?

-Yeah, the middle aisle of a church.

-St Albans Cathedral is reputed to have the longest nave in Britain.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

Matt, you're on 3. The high scorers are Alejandra and Paul on 100.

If you can score 96 or less, you are through to the next round.

Matt, how do you feel? Is this a good category for you?

Not particularly, but there are ones there that I think are right and I'll take the safe option like David.

There's a pointless answer out there.

It'll add 250 quid to the jackpot.

-True, but there may also be another wrong answer.

-Yeah.

-I'm going to go for "pulpit".

-You'll go for "pulpit". What's the pulpit, Matt?

-I think it's where the minister preaches from.

-OK, good luck.

Let's see if "pulpit" is right and if it is, how many people said it.

Very well done. You're through.

-32.

-APPLAUSE

It takes your total up to 35. Richard?

-Yeah, the pulpit, a large, raised platform from which the sermon is given.

-Now then, David H...

We are looking for things found in a church.

You are on 1. The high scorers are Alejandra and Paul on 100. You're the last person to have this board.

I'm afraid I'm going to try and play safe.

-And I'm going to go for "hymnal".

-You're going to go for "hymnal".

There's your red line immediately below the pink line. Below that and you're in the next round.

Let's see if "hymnal" is right and how many people said it - "hymnal".

Well done. You're through.

And down it comes...

Wow!

APPLAUSE

So "hymnal" is a pointless answer and it adds £250 to today's jackpot.

It takes the total up to £3,000.

It scores you nothing and leaves you with a fantastically low total of 1. Richard, "hymnal" is pointless?

Yeah, not bad for playing it safe. I guess people call them hymn books, not hymnals.

Perhaps "hymnal" is too old-fashioned a word, but a very surprising pointless answer.

But a very welcome one. Let's take a look at the rest of the board.

The altar, obviously, is part of a church. That would have scored you 78, a big old score.

The hassock are those small cushions you kneel on.

That would have scored a very low 3.

And "thestral", do you think that is pointless or incorrect?

-I think that's incorrect.

-You're quite right. It is incorrect.

Some winged, skeletal creatures from Harry Potter - Thestrals.

-It sounds like something in a church.

-Yes. I hope a few people at home were fooled.

They're now saying, "No, I know it was from Harry Potter. Just my little joke."

-But it does sound like it's from a church.

-It does. Thanks, Richard.

At the end of Round 1, our losing pair with the highest score, again, Alejandra and Paul.

You scored a pointless answer, Paul.

You've only answered two questions on this show in your history and both of them have been pointless.

You leave here with an unblemished record, sir.

Statistically, Paul is the greatest contestant we've had on Pointless.

-I'll go out on a high then.

-You can't do better than that, can you?

You go down into the concordance of Pointless. You will feature in that, Paul.

And based on that, I'm the worst.

Alejandra, I wasn't going to say that.

-You're playing in your second language.

-I was trying to go for pointless ones.

Your instincts were completely correct. Sadly, your answers weren't.

But the pair of you have been brilliant contestants. Thank you so much for playing.

For the remaining three pairs, it's time for Round 2.

Only two pairs can make it through to the head-to-head, so one team will leave us after this round.

Our category for Round 2 this afternoon is...

America. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first and who's going to go second?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, so our second round question concerns...

We're about to show you a list of US cities which are state capitals.

We asked 100 people to tell us of which state each city is capital.

-Richard?

-We'll show you six cities on each pass. The more obscure the answer, the fewer points scored.

If you give us an incorrect answer, the wrong state, you'll score 100 points.

Thanks very much, Richard. We are looking for the US state that each of these cities is capital of.

And we have got...

I'll read those all again.

You are looking for the answer that the fewest of our 100 people knew.

Now, David, David H...

-Mm-hm.

-David H...

-Yeah.

-Have you been to America?

-Yes.

-Have you been to lots of different states in America?

-No.

What do you think of that board behind me?

It's a mixture of fear and panic.

I thought you were going to say "fear and loathing" there!

So I will choose Atlanta which I believe is the capital of Georgia.

Atlanta, Georgia. Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people knew that answer.

62.

APPLAUSE

62 for Atlanta, Georgia. Richard?

Yeah, pretty big score. People know their stuff with capital cities,

but yeah, the capital of Georgia in the deep south.

Now then, Andy, there are the US cities.

I need you to tell me the name of the state

of which the most obscure of those you can name is capital.

I'm so tempted to have a punt on one of them, but I'm only about 10% sure I'm right.

Oh, let's be brave. Sacramento, I think, is the capital of New Mexico.

-Sacramento, New Mexico. Matt, what do you think?

-I hope so.

Sacramento, New Mexico. Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said Sacramento, New Mexico.

Oh, no, Andy. Oh, no!

Oh, dear. Unfortunately, Sacramento is not the capital of New Mexico

which I'm afraid means you score the maximum of 100 points. Richard?

Yeah. I won't say the answer just in case the other team want to have a go at that question.

OK, David P...

David P, you're the last person to have these state capitals, so take us on a tour through them.

OK, um...

I've got an inkling for most of them, I think.

Boston is in Massachusetts.

That's the only one of those cities I've been to.

Tallahassee, I think, is Florida.

Nashville is Tennessee, Sacramento is California.

And Lincoln, I think, is in Nebraska.

I'm going to go Lincoln, Nebraska.

Lincoln, Nebraska. Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many people knew that answer.

What do you think, James?

I'd have gone Boston.

Let's see if it's right and how many people said Lincoln, Nebraska. Good luck, David.

Well done, it's right. Very good. Lincoln, Nebraska. Down it comes.

That's a fabulous score.

Look at that, David P.

9 points for Lincoln, Nebraska. Richard?

Very well done, David. Not only a correct answer, it's the best answer on the board.

Very well done if you got that at home. Let's look at the rest of the board.

Nashville is the capital of Tennessee. You've taken us through the whole board. That scored 69.

Boston is Massachusetts. It would've scored you 43.

Then Sacramento which is California. It would've scored 27.

And Tallahassee is Florida.

And that would've scored 10 points.

Let's take a look at the scores as they stand.

David P and James, looking very, very strong there - 9 points there. Well done.

Then we go up quite substantially to David and Graham on 62,

and then up to Andy and Matt.

But you did the right thing. You have to take the big risks.

Can the second players take their places at the podium?

OK, we're going to put six more US state capitals on the board and here they come.

Let me say those again.

We want the state of which each of those cities is the capital

and you want the one that the fewest of our 100 people knew.

James... The high scorers are Matt and Andy on 100 points.

You're on 9. Should you score 90 or less, you are through to the head-to-head.

What do you think?

I think Dave should have taken the second round on this one.

I think I know Salt Lake City...

..because my aunt...lives there.

I'm going to say Salt Lake City, the state of Utah.

Salt Lake City, Utah, you are saying.

There is your red line. Below that red line, you are through to the next round. Good luck.

Salt Lake City - is it Utah and how many people said it?

Very well done, James. Quite right.

45 for Salt Lake City and Utah.

It takes your total to 54. You are through to the next round. Richard?

Yes, very good answer. You can relax now for a bit.

It held the Winter Olympics in 2002. It's got a big lake in it.

Now then, Matt, you are the high scorers.

You and Andy are on 100 points.

Your job here is to answer as obscurely as you possibly can.

It's the only way you'll stay in the game.

Sadly, I don't think my knowledge of American geography is good enough for this, but we'll give it a crack.

I'll go for Denver being the capital of Colorado.

Denver, Colorado. Let's see if Denver is Colorado and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

Yes, it's right. How far down can it take you?

59. Oh, dear.

APPLAUSE

That scores you 59. It gives you a total of 159.

-Richard?

-They call it the Mile High City because it's built at such an altitude.

Now then, Graham, this is the decider. You're on 62.

Matt and Andy are on 159.

Should you score 96 or less, you are in the head-to-head.

What's that board saying to you, Graham? Talk us through it.

I think I know most of them, but it's whether I want to take a gamble and try and get a pointless one.

I think Columbus, Ohio, Austin, Texas.

Albany, I'm not too sure of.

Hartford, I think, is Connecticut.

It's probably the pointless answer, but I'm scared. I'll go Austin, Texas.

-Austin, Texas?

-Yeah.

Austin, Texas. Here's your red line. If you get below that red line, you are through to the next round.

Let's see if Austin, Texas is right and if it is, how many people said it.

Yes, it's right and you are through. Very well done, Graham.

66, that scores you. It takes your total up to 128. Richard?

Well played, Graham. Let's look at the board. You were right about a couple of the others.

Columbus is Ohio. That would've scored you 28 points.

Hartford is Connecticut. That would've scored 19.

And the best answer on the board is Albany, the capital of New York.

That would have scored you 14 points.

Thanks very much, Richard. So at the end of Round 2, the losing pair with the highest score is Matt and Andy.

What have you learnt from your brief spell on your first Pointless?

-Any tactics you can bring to bear next time?

-I knew every single one of the capitals on the second board.

-It's a question of who'd gone first and who'd gone second.

-It's pot luck.

-It is indeed pot luck.

Anyway, we will see you again next time.

-Thanks very much for playing. You've been great contestants.

-APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, things get even more exciting now as we enter the head-to-head.

David and James, Graham and David, you've made it to the head-to-head.

Only one pair can make it through to today's final and play for the jackpot which stands at £3,000.

APPLAUSE

You're going to go head to head on the best of three questions.

For each question, each pair needs to give me just one answer. You are now allowed to confer.

Come up with an answer that scores less than the other pair and you will win that question.

The first pair to get the best of three will be playing for today's jackpot. Let's play Pointless.

OK, here is your first question.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many colours of the Olympic rings as they could.

-Richard?

-Yeah, we're looking for any of the colours of the five rings on the Olympic flag

and there are five answers.

Thanks, Richard. David and James, cos you've played best throughout the show, you get to go first.

So let me know which one you want to go for.

WHISPERING

OK, we have an answer?

-I think so. We've decided to go for black.

-You're going to go for black.

OK, Graham and David H,

black has gone.

-Gold?

-Green's definitely in there.

-We'll go green.

-You'll go green.

We have black, we have green.

David and James have said "black".

Let's see how many people said "black".

It's right, obviously.

Down it goes. 51.

APPLAUSE

Graham and David have gone for green. Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said it.

Oh!

Wow! A very high score there for green.

After our first question, David P and James are ahead 1-0. Richard?

Yeah, black was the killer answer. Those five colours with white, which is the background,

the idea was that every flag of the world was represented.

There wasn't a flag which didn't have one of those colours.

Let's take a look at all of them.

Black far and away the best answer with 51, then yellow 84,

green 90, blue 96

and red 98.

Thanks very much, Richard. Here is your second question.

Graham and David, you have to win this question to stay in the game.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many Oasis albums as they could.

Richard?

We're looking for any studio album released by Oasis prior to the start of 2011.

Greatest Hits albums and live albums don't count. There are eight albums on the list.

OK, now, Graham and David H, you get to go first this time.

I think you've deferred to me on this one. I've gone blank.

It's not going to be pointless, but I'll have to go for (What's The Story) Morning Glory?

(What's The Story) Morning Glory? OK.

I think that's going to be quite high, possibly the highest, so I don't think we should gamble.

-I think we should go for a middle-of-the-road one.

-Right.

So what options have you got?

Um...

-Heathen Chemistry, I think is one.

-Is that definitely an album?

-Yeah.

-And Standing On The Shoulder Of Giants.

-I'd go for that one.

We'll go for Standing On The Shoulder Of Giants.

We have (What's The Story) Morning Glory from Graham and David H.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said it.

Oh, 23.

23. That's a lower score than I was anticipating for that. (What's The Story) Morning Glory, only 23.

David and James, you have to get below 23 with Standing On The Shoulder Of Giants. Can you do that?

-That's a low score.

-It's going to be tough to beat.

-If you can, you are through to the final.

Let's see, Standing On The Shoulder Of Giants, is it right and if it is, how many people said it?

It's right.

Very well done. You are through to the final.

9 beats 23.

After two questions, David P and James are through to the final 2-0. Richard?

Well played, David and James.

Five answers beat Standing On The Shoulder Of Giants, one of which was Heathen Chemistry.

Let's take a look at all of them. Right at the bottom, the most recent one - Dig Out Your Soul.

It was the tour for that when Noel Gallagher quit.

The Masterplan on 2, a collection of B-sides, Heathen Chemistry and Don't Believe The Truth on 5,

Be Here Now scores 8, Standing On The Shoulder Of Giants would have scored you 9,

Definitely Maybe at 20 and (What's The Story) Morning Glory was top of the pile on 23.

Thanks, Richard. So the losing pair at the end of the head-to-head is Graham and David H.

Bad luck. You played incredibly well throughout the show.

And rather ill-served by the order in which you were placed.

I think you had black probably, didn't you, for the Olympic rings.

-I've got Heathen Chemistry at home as well, but I forgot the title.

-Oh, dear.

You've played fulsomely in this game. We have to say goodbye to you, but we will see you again next time.

-Thanks very much for playing.

-APPLAUSE

But for David and James, it's time for our Pointless final and the chance to win our jackpot of £3,000.

Congratulations, David and James. You've fought off the competition

and won our coveted Pointless trophy, so well done.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot. At the end of today's show, it stands at £3,000.

APPLAUSE

Now, the rules are very simple.

To win that money, all you have to do is find a pointless answer.

We've had two pointless answers on the show. Find one more now and you win that money.

Firstly, you've got to choose a category from these three options.

-What do you think?

-We're not very good on geography as we've demonstrated.

Fashion... I think we've answered that one.

-It's going to be Fashion(!)

-We've answered that.

Let's go for Comic Actors.

Comic Actors.

Let's find out what the question is. Good luck.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many Steve Martin films as they could.

-Richard?

-We're looking for any feature film for which Steve Martin has received an acting credit,

including as a voice artist, up to the start of 2011.

TV films, short films and documentaries don't count.

Any Steve Martin film.

OK, you now have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that £3,000 jackpot is for just one answer to be pointless.

Your 60 seconds start now.

-Man With Two Brains?

-Yeah, I think that'll be there. So will The Jerk.

-Do you know any of the ones he's done a voiceover for?

-No, I don't.

-What's the one where he turns into a woman?

-All Of Me.

-That's not too bad.

-LA Story.

-LA Story, yeah.

Then you've got...

Three Amigos.

That could be a good one.

Things when maybe he's not been the lead. Any cameos?

-I don't know. Parenthood. He was in Parenthood.

-Yeah.

-He was in...

What else was he in, his mid-'80s stuff?

-What about the '70s stuff, the late stuff no-one watches?

-Cheaper By The Dozen?

-Cheaper By The Dozen 2?

-Cheaper By The Dozen 2.

Fantastic. Cheaper By The Dozen 2.

He did that re-make of The Pink Panther, Inspector Clouseau.

That'll be a good one. Yeah, we could go for that.

Five seconds left.

-Anything he's done a voiceover for?

-I can't think of anything.

That's your minute up. We were looking for Steve Martin films. I need three answers.

OK, so we'll have Cheaper By The Dozen 2.

-All Of Me?

-Is that the one where he changes?

-Yeah, he gets taken over by the woman.

-All Of Me.

-All Of Me.

-And...?

-The Pink Panther.

Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Cheaper By The Dozen 2.

-Cheaper By The Dozen 2.

-Let's put that...

-Have you seen it?

-I have, yeah. I have seen worse films, but I've also seen better.

Very diplomatic. OK, Cheaper By The Dozen 2 we will put last.

-Yeah.

-Which is your least likely punt at a pointless answer?

-Pink Panther.

-OK, let's put them up on the board in that order.

Here they are.

OK, well, this was your least confident answer, your first answer - The Pink Panther.

You only have to find one pointless answer to win the £3,000 jackpot.

Let's see if The Pink Panther is a correct answer and if it is, how many people said it.

-Maybe that will be pointless. Who knows?

-OK.

-£3,000 riding on it. The Pink Panther...

Well, it's right.

This would have to go all the way down to zero

if you're going to leave here with £3,000 on this answer.

Down it goes into single figures...

-Only just.

-APPLAUSE

Well, in this regard at least, that is not a pointless film.

LAUGHTER

So therefore, you only have two shots left at the Pointless jackpot.

We are looking for Steve Martin films.

What would you do with £3,000?

I'm in the process of renovating my house

and there are certain essential items I need such as...a bed.

I'd, um... Me and my wife had a little boy a couple of years ago.

He's 19 months, so we're quite tired.

-I bet you are!

-So it would be really nice to have a nice... Well, a bed!

-Or a nice holiday.

-A nice holiday?

-Yeah.

-That would be perfect.

-Do some child care in a different climate.

-Yeah, everything's better when the sun's shining.

-Try not sleeping somewhere where it's a bit warmer.

-Yeah.

-Excellent.

Let's hope nobody said your next answer.

Your next answer is All Of Me. This has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot.

£3,000. Let's see if All Of Me is a correct answer and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

It's right. The Pink Panther went down to 9.

This, you thought you had a bit more faith in.

Let's see how it does, down to the teens, down to single figures,

all the way down to 1!

APPLAUSE

I tell you what - that went in the right direction, though. You went from 9 to 1.

-Yeah.

-If you can keep that trajectory up...

Cheaper By The Dozen 2, you see, it's a brilliant answer, a sequel.

OK, you only have one more chance to win today's jackpot and it all rests on Cheaper By The Dozen 2.

Cheaper By The Dozen 2.

-Who'd have ever thought that that was the film between you and £3,000?

-I know.

-This was the answer you had the most faith in.

-I know.

-But All Of Me did well there.

-Yeah.

-OK, let's see.

Cheaper By The Dozen 2 has to be right and it has to be pointless. Let's see if it is.

It's right.

So now, we've come from 9 down to 1.

Surely, this goes down to pointless

and if it does, you leave here with 3,000...

Aw! APPLAUSE

Unfortunately, you didn't manage to find that crucial pointless answer,

so you don't win today's jackpot of £3,000. Very disappointing indeed.

It rolls over to the next show, but you have been fantastic contestants

-and you do take home our Pointless trophy.

-Thank you.

-A silver lining.

APPLAUSE

-Richard?

-Yeah, Cheaper By The Dozen 2 was a proper Hollywood-sized hit.

Father Of The Bride Part II got 10 points as well.

-You said LA Story at one point during your summation.

-No...

If you'd said LA Story then,

you'd have got 1 point, so that's sort of a relief.

-Yes.

-Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers.

The Prince Of Egypt, that's an animation with a voiceover too.

The Out-Of-Towners with Goldie Hawn.

Looney Tunes: Back In Action was one of those semi-animated movies.

Novocaine, The Spanish Prisoner - the David Mamet film about a big con,

The Muppet Movie he was in, that's pointless.

Movers & Shakers, pointless, Grand Canyon and A Simple Twist Of Fate. Well done if you said those at home.

We do have to say goodbye to you, David and James. Thank you so much for playing. Brilliant contestants.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

So nobody has won our jackpot today which means it rolls over on to the next show

when we will be playing for £4,000.

-Join us then to see if someone can win it. It's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And goodbye from me.

Subtitles by Subtext for Red Bee Media Ltd 2011

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