Episode 60 Pointless


Episode 60

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APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

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Thank you very much. I'm Alexander Armstrong.

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A warm welcome to Pointless, the quiz show where obvious answers mean nothing

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and obscure answers mean everything. Let's meet today's players.

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So, welcome, Paul and Mark. How do you two know each other?

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We're work colleagues. We've worked together for two and a half years

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and we've become great friends.

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-What do you do, Mark?

-I'm a welder fabricator.

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I build casting machines for the foundry industry.

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-Very good. And how about you, Paul?

-I'm a fitter.

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I build the machines as well and then go out and fit and commission them.

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-What are you hoping is going to come up this afternoon?

-Sport.

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A bit of geography.

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A bit of soaps.

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OK, well, very, very best of luck. It's brilliant having you here.

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Next we welcome Patrick and Kim, our second pair.

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-How do you two know each other?

-We're both students at Sheffield.

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We're doing the same degree, so there's quite a lot in common.

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We're boyfriend and girlfriend

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and we were in the same halls of residence in the first year, so we met there.

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You met in the first year. How long into the first year?

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-Erm...

-First couple of weeks.

-Yeah, yeah.

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-Ah!

-Isn't it?

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And where did you meet?

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Er, it's a slightly embarrassing story, embarrassing for me.

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I have very occasionally been known

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to indulge in the odd bit of sleep-walking...

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-Yeah, yeah.

-..and I got a bit confused...

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Yeah, I bet you did.

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-Drunk.

-And then slept-walked into my flat

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and fell asleep on the sofa,

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for me to find this random person asleep on my sofa.

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Yeah. Patrick, did you have any history of sleep-walking at all, be honest, before that?

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Erm, not since childhood.

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So maybe I was regressing a bit, I don't know.

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Either way, it's brilliant having you here. Very best of luck.

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Next we welcome Jess and Mary. How do you two know each other?

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We're mother and daughter and we live together.

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-Where?

-We live in Canvey Island in Essex.

-Canvey Island in Essex.

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Very good. Mary, what do you do?

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I work as a mental health researcher

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throughout the area, London and Essex.

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-And how about you, Jess?

-I'm at uni, training to be a doctor.

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-What year are you in?

-I'm in the fourth year.

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-And how many years?

-Five, so only one more to go.

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And then you go into your houseman-ship or whatever it's called?

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-Yeah. Then we have two years on-the-job training.

-Right.

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-Just in case five wasn't enough.

-Yeah. Nothing like enough.

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Mary, whose idea was it to come on the show?

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Erm, Jessica's initially

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but I wanted to come because I wanted to meet Richard.

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-LAUGHTER

-Ah!

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-Which I have, now.

-Hang on, you sound almost disappointed.

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-No!

-He's quite something, isn't he, Richard?

-He is, yes.

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-Very, very best of luck to the pair of you.

-Thank you.

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And finally we welcome back Troy And Staffan.

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Everyone gets two chances to reach the final and this is your second chance.

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-Remind us how you did last time.

-Not too well, unfortunately.

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We were out in the first round.

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I had a 50:50 between two possible answers and I picked the wrong one.

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Remind us what you do, Troy.

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I'm a flight attendant working out of Heathrow, so...

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-Long haul?

-All over the world - America, Asia, Africa, you name it.

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I'm so pleased, Troy, that you came in your uniform today.

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Oh, absolutely. I was so scared you guys would upstage me,

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so I thought I'd better go the extra mile.

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Erm, you've slightly toned your trousers down since last time.

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-Yeah, just the leather pants today.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

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And Staffan, positively humdrum, there. Look at that.

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In your jeans and your... Yeah.

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What do you do outside of work, Troy?

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I like to play a bit of tennis and I do some yoga

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and when I'm feeling really energetic at home,

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I do the vacuuming in my undies.

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Because our flat is really warm

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and it's just purely for practical purposes.

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OK. Very good.

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Staffan, how about you?

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Er, when I'm not watching him doing the vacuum cleaning...

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I maybe go to the gym and I do a bit of running as well.

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Very best of luck. It's great to have you back.

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We'll find out more through the show.

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There's only one person left for me to introduce.

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If there's something obscure in your neighbourhood, who are you going to call?

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Why, my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

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MUSIC: "Ghostbusters" Hiya.

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CHEERING

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Hello. Hello.

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-Yeah.

-How are you this afternoon?

-I'm very well indeed.

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-I've got a question for you.

-Oh, dear.

-What kind of show have we got?

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-We've got a great show.

-Yeah?

-A very big jackpot today.

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It's built up quite a lot.

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We've only got one returning pair, Troy and Staffan,

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and they got knocked out in the first round.

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The returning pair's always at an advantage,

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so we should see you going further today.

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But it should be very open and a lot of money to win at the end.

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Thanks very much, Richard.

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We put our questions to 100 people before the show

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and we're after the obscure answers they didn't get.

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Everyone's trying to find a pointless answer,

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that's an answer that none of our 100 people gave

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and each time that happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

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No-one won the jackpot last time, so we add £1,000 to that.

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Today's jackpot starts off at £11,000.

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-CHEERING

-There's a jackpot!

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Right, let's play Pointless.

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In the first round, each of you must give me one answer

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and you cannot confer.

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Whichever team has the highest score at the end of the round

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will be eliminated, so be careful that's not you.

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If anyone gives me an incorrect answer, they will score 100 points.

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OK, our first category this afternoon is:

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-You go first.

-All decide who's going first, who's going second.

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Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

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OK, let's find out what the question is.

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We gave 100 people 100 seconds

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to name as many Nicolas Cage films as they could.

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We're looking for any feature made for general release

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for which Nicolas Cage received an acting credit up to 2011.

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TV films, short films or documentaries don't count but voice performances do.

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There are 57 films on this list.

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Paul and Mark, you drew lots before the show

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and this afternoon, you get to go first.

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Yeah, I'm going to go for Bangkok Dangerous.

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I don't think it was as successful as the rest of them.

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You're hoping to score as few points as possible.

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Let's see if that's right and let's see how many people said Bangkok Dangerous.

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It's right.

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-Come on.

-It's right. Down it goes.

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-Oh! Very well done, Mark.

-APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

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That's a cracking answer.

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One point. One point for Bangkok Dangerous.

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-Richard?

-Yes, a great start. From 2008.

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Nicolas Cage plays a hit man who travels to Bangkok

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-but then falls in love.

-Ooh, dangerous.

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It is dangerous, isn't it?

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You should be very careful if you fall in love in Bangkok.

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You should be careful if you fall in love in Bangkok.

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-You never know.

-Yeah.

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Now, then, Kim.

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What's the most obscure Nicolas Cage film you can summon up?

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Erm, I can think of quite a few

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but I think the one I'm going to go for - it's pretty bad -

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-it's called Weather Man.

-You're saying Weather Man.

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Let's see if that's right and how many people said Weather Man.

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It's right.

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Down it comes. Another lovely low score.

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Look at that, that's brilliant. Very well done indeed.

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CHEERING

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Three points for Weather Man.

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Yeah, well played, Kim.

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He plays a Chicago weather man. Michael Caine is also in it.

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It should be called Chicago Dangerous because you shouldn't watch it.

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I remember that woman you brought back from Bangkok.

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-Remember her?

-That's my wife you're talking about there.

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-Yes, but it's all fine.

-And again, I say "she"...

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-Mary...

-Yes.

-..we're looking for a Nicolas Cage film.

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You may be looking for a very long time.

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Erm, I'm going to go for something that I'm not sure about,

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which is The Serpent.

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OK, The Serpent. You're hoping to score as few points as possible.

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Very best of luck, Mary.

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Let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

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Oh, no.

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-Oh, dear.

-Bad luck, Mary. Bad luck. It sounded really good.

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Unfortunately, it's an incorrect answer.

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That scores you the maximum of 100 points.

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-The Serpent, Richard.

-Not a Nicolas Cage film, I'm afraid,

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though that is the wrestling name of Alexander's third wife.

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Yes.

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-OK, now, then, Troy.

-Alexander.

-We come to you.

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What is the most obscure Nicolas Cage film you can pluck from thin air?

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Staffan will kill me

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but this is an actor I'm not a specialist in at all,

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so I'm just going to have to go for a complete stab in dark

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and say Se7en.

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Se7en, you're saying. You're hoping to score as few points as possible.

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Let's see if Se7en is correct and let's see how many people said it.

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-Yes, I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer.

-I'm not surprised.

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You also score the maximum of 100 points.

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Sorry, Troy. Richard?

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Lots of people stabbed in the dark in Se7en but it's not a Nicolas Cage film, I'm afraid.

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OK, thank you very much. We're halfway through the round,

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so let's take a look at the scores as they stand.

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Well, it's a very broad field.

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On one point, Mark and Paul. Very, very well done. Bangkok Dangerous.

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Then up to three points for Kim and Patrick.

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And then we come to some films that in one case...

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It possibly does exist, it's just it's not...

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I'd be surprised if there's not a film called The Serpent.

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And, Troy, Se7en, it is a film.

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I'm afraid it's not one that Nicolas Cage is in.

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So, yes, two massive scores there.

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Staffan and Jess, you are going to have to tussle it out between you

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to see who stays for the next round and who will be leaving.

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OK, can the second players please take their places at the podium?

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OK, we're looking for Nicolas Cage films.

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-Staffan.

-Yes.

-You're the joint high scorers with Jess and Mary.

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You've got to really, really delve for an obscure Nicolas Cage film.

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-Do you think you can do it?

-I know a few

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and the one I'm going to say, I'm not sure it's pointless or even close to pointless,

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but I'm going to say it because I've always wanted to do this.

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Face/Off. Face/Off.

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-So that's what I'm saying.

-Do you know what?

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I'm so glad you've spent so long looking forward to that

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because I'm telling you now, it was worth it.

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That was amazing. Face/Off.

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OK, you have no red line because you are the high scorers.

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Let's just see how Face/Off does. Best of luck, Staffan.

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Face/Off.

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Well done.

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22.

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Very well done, Staffan. 22. That takes your total up to 122.

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-Richard?

-Well done, Staffan. He starred in Face/Off.

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And a good mime, too. I'd like to see you mime Bangkok Dangerous, now.

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Now, then, Jess, we are looking for Nicolas Cage films.

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You are on 100 points.

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The high scorers on 122 are Staffan and Troy.

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If you can score 21 or less, you are through to the next round.

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-What do you think, Jess?

-I'm going to say National Treasure 2.

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National Treasure 2.

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There is your red line.

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If National Treasure 2 gets you below that line,

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you are through to the next round. National Treasure 2.

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You're right! You are right.

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And you're through to the next round.

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Very well done, you, Jess. National Treasure 2 scores seven.

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-Well done.

-An excellent score. It takes your total up to 107.

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You are through to the next round.

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-Well done. National Treasure 2, Richard?

-Well played, Jess.

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From 2007, National Treasure 2, Book Of Secrets.

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He plays a sort of treasure hunter, Nicolas Cage,

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and in that one he's looking for the secret of Lincoln's assassination.

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OK. So, then, Patrick, we come to you.

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You are through to the next round.

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Even if you score 100 points, you won't overtake their score of 122.

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I was going to go for Face/Off but I don't think I could rival Staffan's gesture,

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so I won't try to - and it's been taken.

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So I'm going to go for another Cage classic

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-and I'll go for Con Air.

-Con Air, you're saying.

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Let's see how many people said Con Air.

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-16!

-APPLAUSE

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-We're safe.

-That's good.

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Not a bad answer, Patrick. 16 for Con Air, taking your total up to 19.

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Well played, Patrick.

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From 1997, with John Malkovich and John Cusack,

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set aboard a plane full of convicts.

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Now, then, Paul. A brilliant low score there from Mark.

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It doesn't matter what you score here, you're through to the next round,

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so why not see if you can find a truly pointless Nicolas Cage film?

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I'm not really a big film buff any more.

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I think I know a film, though, he was in with Sean Connery.

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I think it was called The Rock.

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OK, yes. We're looking for Nicolas Cage films.

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Paul has just said The Rock.

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Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said it.

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There it is.

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Nine points for The Rock! Very well done, Paul.

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That takes your total up to ten.

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Yeah, The Rock. Sean Connery and Nicolas Cage.

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Michael Bay, who made Transformers and all sorts of things, he made it.

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Shall we take a look at some pointless answers?

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Take a look at some pointless Nicolas Cage films.

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The Oscar-nominated Adaptation, he was in.

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He was one of the voices on G-Force. Guarding Tess.

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These are all pointless answers.

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Moonstruck, where Cher makes a play for him.

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Next and Racing With The Moon, all pointless answers.

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-Well done if you said any of those at home.

-Thank you, Richard.

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So at the end of round one, the losing pair with the highest score, it's Troy and Staffan.

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Well, this wasn't meant to happen at all.

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I think if I was Troy and I was just going to say a random film,

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instead of Se7en I'd have said Troy.

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-Was that one of the answers?

-No, it wasn't, but...

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-It would have scored the same amount of points.

-So I may as well have said it.

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What have you learnt from Pointless? What will you take away?

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-Well...

-Keep it glam. Keep it glamorous.

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-Keep it glamorous.

-And gorgeous.

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You said it, Troy.

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Very well done. It's been brilliant having you on the show.

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I'm so sorry. It's our loss that we lose you so early on

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-because you are fantastic contestants.

-Thanks for having us.

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APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

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But for the remaining three pairs, it's time for round two.

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Now, only two pairs can make it through to the head to head,

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so one team is going to be leaving us after this round.

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Our category for round two is:

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It's words.

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Can you all decide in your pairs who's going first and who's going second?

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And whoever's going first please step up to the podium.

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And our round two question this afternoon concerns:

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In this round we're about to show you a list of clues

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describing words or phrases beginning with the letter Q.

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We asked 100 people to tell us what each clue describes.

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-Richard?

-Yeah, we're going to show you six clues on each pass.

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The more obscure ones will score you fewer points.

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An incorrect answer will you score you 100 points.

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OK. Right, so, we are looking for what each clue describes

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and we have got:

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I'm going to read that one more time.

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And a partridge in a pear tree.

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Mark?

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What are you going to say?

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I think I know about four of them.

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I think the one I'm going to go for is the US TV series

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starring Jack Klugman, which is Quincy.

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Quincy. There we are. You're saying Quincy.

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Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said it.

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It's right!

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-45.

-APPLAUSE

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-That's not bad, is it?

-It's all right.

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Not bad. Quite a high score. 45 for Quincy, Richard.

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Yeah, first broadcast in the UK in 1977 but repeated ever since,

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often on day time as well.

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Jack Klugman plays Quincy.

0:18:460:18:47

It's based on the LA County Examiner Thomas Noguchi,

0:18:470:18:51

who conducted Marilyn Monroe's autopsy.

0:18:510:18:54

There you go. Thank you very much. So, then, Patrick.

0:18:540:18:57

I know about three for sure

0:18:570:18:59

and I can think of a rice-like grain beginning with Q

0:18:590:19:04

but whether it's eaten in the Andes I'm not sure,

0:19:040:19:07

so I don't know.

0:19:070:19:10

I think I'm still going to go for it anyway

0:19:100:19:12

and I'm going to go for quinoa.

0:19:120:19:14

-Quinoa.

-Yeah.

-Or as some people pronounce it, "keen-wah".

0:19:140:19:18

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many people knew that answer.

0:19:180:19:22

Very well done.

0:19:240:19:26

Very well done. 18 points for quinoa.

0:19:300:19:32

Good answer, Patrick. Richard?

0:19:340:19:38

Yeah, very well played. Quinoa.

0:19:380:19:40

The Incas used to call it the mother of all grains.

0:19:400:19:42

OK, now then, Jess.

0:19:420:19:44

We're looking for the words described on the board here

0:19:440:19:47

beginning with Q.

0:19:470:19:49

You're the last person to have this board. Talk us through it.

0:19:490:19:52

-You can supply answers.

-Slang for £1 is a quid.

0:19:520:19:55

The dance is a quickstep and the five babies are quintuplets.

0:19:550:19:59

I don't know how you say that.

0:19:590:20:01

I don't know if that's quite a common answer but I'm going to go for that.

0:20:010:20:06

-OK.

-"Quin-tupp-lets".

0:20:060:20:07

"Quin-too-plets". I'm disagreeing with everyone's pronunciation.

0:20:070:20:12

You're saying quintuplets. Let's see if that's right and how many people said quintuplets.

0:20:120:20:16

It's right.

0:20:170:20:19

-64.

-Mm. Yeah.

-APPLAUSE

0:20:200:20:22

It's a right answer but a costly one, I would say.

0:20:260:20:29

64 for quintuplets, Richard.

0:20:290:20:31

Yeah. The first known surviving quintuplets were sisters in Canada in 1934.

0:20:310:20:36

The fast-paced ballroom dance, of course, is a quickstep,

0:20:360:20:39

which would have scored 55. Lots of big scores here.

0:20:390:20:42

The savoury egg custard is a quiche.

0:20:420:20:44

That would have scored 79.

0:20:440:20:46

And the slang term for £1 scores one of those very rare 100s.

0:20:460:20:52

-Wow.

-It's a quid. It would have scored you 100 points.

0:20:520:20:56

OK, thanks, Richard.

0:20:560:20:57

We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at the scores.

0:20:570:21:01

On 18 points, Patrick and Kim, doing very, very well.

0:21:010:21:04

Then 45, Mark and Paul, not bad at all.

0:21:040:21:08

with Klugman and Quincy.

0:21:080:21:10

64. It's not a bad score, Jess,

0:21:110:21:14

but you are out in front,

0:21:140:21:15

so, Mary, you have to work hardest in the next pass.

0:21:150:21:18

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

0:21:180:21:21

OK, we're going to put six more clues describing words or phrases beginning with Q on the board

0:21:240:21:30

and here there are. We have got:

0:21:300:21:33

I shall read those all one more time.

0:21:450:21:47

We are looking for the word or phrase each clue describes.

0:21:580:22:01

You're trying to find the one the fewest of our 100 people knew.

0:22:010:22:04

-Mary?

-I'm going to go for members of the Society of Friends

0:22:040:22:09

and I'm going to say Quaker.

0:22:100:22:12

Quaker, you are saying. There's no red line because you are the high scorers.

0:22:120:22:17

You just have to hope this goes down as far as it possibly can.

0:22:170:22:20

Quaker. Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many people said Quaker.

0:22:200:22:25

It's right.

0:22:250:22:26

-Oh!

-55.

-APPLAUSE

0:22:280:22:30

Oh, a punishing score, there.

0:22:320:22:36

55 for Quaker. Who'd have thought it would be that high?

0:22:360:22:39

It takes your total up to 119. Richard?

0:22:390:22:41

Yeah. It began in England in the 1640s, the Quakers.

0:22:410:22:45

George Fox is widely believed to have been the founder.

0:22:450:22:48

-Kim.

-Yeah.

-Kim, you're on 18.

0:22:480:22:52

You are through to the next round. I can tell you that for nothing.

0:22:520:22:55

Even if you score 100,

0:22:550:22:57

you will not overtake Mary and Jess on their 119.

0:22:570:23:01

Bearing that in mind, why not take as big a risk as you need

0:23:010:23:06

to find a nice low-scoring answer?

0:23:060:23:08

I don't think I can.

0:23:080:23:10

I can't really... Apart from the two ones that are fairly obvious

0:23:100:23:14

I can't think what the other ones are,

0:23:140:23:16

so I'm going to have to go for burger weighing four ounces,

0:23:160:23:20

which is a Quarter Pounder.

0:23:200:23:21

A Quarter Pounder.

0:23:210:23:22

Let's see if that's right and let's see how many people said it.

0:23:220:23:26

-APPLAUSE

-80!

0:23:290:23:31

That scores you 80 and takes your total up to 98.

0:23:350:23:38

Yeah, lots of big scores in this round.

0:23:380:23:40

The Quarter Pounder was invented by Al Bernardin, a McDonald's franchise owner,

0:23:400:23:44

in 1971.

0:23:440:23:46

Very good indeed. Thank you.

0:23:460:23:47

Now, then, we have a real contest on our hands.

0:23:470:23:50

Paul, you're currently on 45.

0:23:500:23:53

The high scorers on 119 are Jess and Mary.

0:23:530:23:55

If you can score 73 or less, Paul, you are through to the head to head.

0:23:550:24:01

A female monarch, obviously, is a queen, isn't it?

0:24:010:24:04

Birds Of A Feather actress, Pauline Quirke.

0:24:040:24:07

It's between the other two.

0:24:070:24:08

The answers are in my head but are they right?

0:24:080:24:11

Any animal which walks on four feet is a quadruped

0:24:110:24:14

and the sci-fi series, the only one I can think of, is Quantum Leap.

0:24:140:24:19

I'm going to go for the animal, with quadruped.

0:24:200:24:23

You're going to say quadruped for animals that walk on four feet.

0:24:230:24:26

If quadruped gets you below that red line, you are through to the head to head.

0:24:260:24:32

Let's see if quadruped's right and let's see how many people said quadruped. Good luck.

0:24:320:24:36

It's right.

0:24:370:24:38

And you're through to the head to head.

0:24:380:24:41

-59.

-APPLAUSE

0:24:410:24:43

CHEERING

0:24:430:24:44

Very well done. That takes your total up to 104.

0:24:460:24:50

-Quadruped, Richard.

-Yeah, well played, Paul.

0:24:500:24:53

A good risk to take.

0:24:530:24:54

From the Latin "quad" meaning four and "ped" meaning foot.

0:24:540:24:57

Let's look at the rest of the board. The female monarch is the Queen.

0:24:570:25:01

That would have scored 98 points. Not 100.

0:25:010:25:04

The Birds Of A Feather actress, it is Pauline Quirke.

0:25:040:25:09

She'll be delighted to hear she scores 82 points.

0:25:090:25:11

And the sci-fi series starring Scott Bakula, it was Quantum Leap.

0:25:110:25:16

You were quite right. You could have gone for that and scored 27.

0:25:160:25:19

That's the best answer. Well done if you said that.

0:25:190:25:22

Thank you very much.

0:25:220:25:24

So at the end of round two, the losing pair with the highest score is Jess and Mary.

0:25:240:25:29

-Who would have thought quintuplets was going to be so expensive?

-Yes.

0:25:290:25:33

-That was a costly answer.

-And I knew quickstep as well.

0:25:330:25:36

That probably would have been enough to see us through.

0:25:360:25:38

Well, you've learnt, right there, the lesson of Pointless.

0:25:380:25:43

So we have to say goodbye now but it'll be great seeing you next time.

0:25:430:25:47

-Thanks very much.

-Thank you.

0:25:470:25:49

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:25:490:25:51

But for the remaining two pairs, things get even more exciting

0:25:510:25:55

as we enter the head to head.

0:25:550:25:57

So, well done, Paul and Mark, Patrick and Kim.

0:26:040:26:06

You've made it through to the head to head.

0:26:060:26:09

Only one pair can make today's final and play for the jackpot,

0:26:090:26:12

which currently stands at £11,000.

0:26:120:26:14

WHOOPING

0:26:140:26:17

You'll now go head to head on the best of three questions.

0:26:190:26:22

For each question, each pair needs to give me just one answer

0:26:220:26:25

and you may now confer.

0:26:250:26:26

If you come up with an answer that scores less than the other pair, you win that question.

0:26:260:26:31

The first pair to get to the best of three will play for the jackpot.

0:26:310:26:35

Let's play Pointless.

0:26:350:26:37

OK. Here is your first question. Good luck.

0:26:420:26:45

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many Christmas number ones of the 1980s as they could.

0:26:450:26:53

We're looking for any Christmas number one in the UK charts

0:26:530:26:57

from Christmas 1980 through to Christmas 1989.

0:26:570:27:00

Different versions of the same song will only count once.

0:27:000:27:03

Now, Paul and Mark, because you've played best so far,

0:27:030:27:06

you get to go first.

0:27:060:27:08

We're going to try Wham!, Last Christmas.

0:27:100:27:13

Wham!, Last Christmas.

0:27:130:27:15

OK, Patrick and Kim.

0:27:150:27:17

I think we're going to go for The Power Of Love.

0:27:170:27:20

Frankie Goes To Hollywood.

0:27:200:27:22

So we have Last Christmas by Wham!

0:27:220:27:24

and we have the Power Of Love by Frankie Goes To Hollywood.

0:27:240:27:28

Paul and Mark, Last Christmas.

0:27:280:27:29

Is it right? How many people said it?

0:27:290:27:31

-Oh!

-AUDIENCE GROANS

0:27:320:27:35

I seem to remember, yes, famously, not number one.

0:27:350:27:38

Patrick and Kim have gone for The Power Of Love, Frankie Goes To Hollywood.

0:27:380:27:42

Again, you're not sure if that's right. How many people said it?

0:27:420:27:47

No!

0:27:480:27:50

Also not a Christmas number one.

0:27:500:27:53

So after the first question, no score. Richard?

0:27:530:27:56

The song to blame is Do They Know It's Christmas?

0:27:560:27:59

That kept Last Christmas off number one in 1984. It was number two.

0:27:590:28:03

The song it replaced was Power Of Love.

0:28:030:28:06

But let's take a look at all the answers.

0:28:060:28:08

There's No-One Quite Like Grandma by St Winifred's School.

0:28:080:28:11

Save Your Love by Renee and Renato. They were pointless,

0:28:110:28:14

as was Jackie Wilson's Reet Petite.

0:28:140:28:16

Don't You Want Me? by Human League was number one in 1981.

0:28:160:28:19

The Pet Shop Boys, Always On My Mind would have scored you three points.

0:28:190:28:23

Here are the others.

0:28:230:28:24

The Flying Pickets' a capella Only You scored three points.

0:28:240:28:27

Merry Christmas Everyone by Shakin' Stevens scored 11.

0:28:270:28:31

Mistletoe And Wine by Cliff Richard scored 22

0:28:310:28:33

and Do They Know It's Christmas? was number one twice,

0:28:330:28:36

in 1984 and 1989 with Band Aid 2.

0:28:360:28:39

-That would have scored you 30 points.

-Thanks, Richard.

0:28:390:28:42

So, here is your second question.

0:28:420:28:45

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many Canadian provinces and territories as they could.

0:28:450:28:52

We're looking for any of the 13 provinces or territories that make up Canada.

0:28:520:28:56

OK, now, then, Patrick and Kim, you go first.

0:28:560:28:59

-OK, we have an answer?

-Yeah.

0:29:000:29:02

We're trying to think as obscure as possible, as that's the name of the game.

0:29:020:29:07

so we're going to go for one of the more remote parts

0:29:070:29:10

and we think we're going to go for Newfoundland.

0:29:100:29:13

Newfoundland. OK. You're saying Newfoundland.

0:29:130:29:17

Paul and Mark?

0:29:170:29:21

We're thinking of Ottawa, Ontario,

0:29:210:29:25

but I think we're going to go for Quebec.

0:29:250:29:27

-You're going to go for Quebec.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

0:29:270:29:29

We have Newfoundland and we have Quebec.

0:29:290:29:33

Patrick and Kim said Newfoundland. Let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

0:29:330:29:37

Well done. It's right.

0:29:370:29:39

-Wow! 11.

-APPLAUSE

0:29:440:29:45

That's a nice, low score there for Newfoundland.

0:29:520:29:55

Let's see if Quebec can beat it, Paul and Mark going for Quebec.

0:29:550:29:59

Let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

0:29:590:30:03

It's right.

0:30:030:30:05

-45.

-APPLAUSE

0:30:070:30:10

Newfoundland beats that roundly.

0:30:110:30:14

So after the second question, Patrick are up one-nil. Richard?

0:30:140:30:17

Yeah, well played, guys.

0:30:170:30:19

Let's take a look at all 13.

0:30:190:30:23

Prince Edward Island and Nunavut, the newest of Canada's territories,

0:30:230:30:26

created in 1999, they both would have scored you one.

0:30:260:30:29

New Brunswick would have scored two. Northwest Territories four.

0:30:290:30:32

Yukon Territory and Manitoba, both seven.

0:30:320:30:35

Saskatchewan would have scored you nine points.

0:30:350:30:39

Newfoundland or Newfoundland and Labrador, as it's called,

0:30:390:30:42

scored 11.

0:30:420:30:43

Nova Scotia 12. Alberta 16.

0:30:430:30:45

British Columbia 21, Ontario 41,

0:30:450:30:48

and Quebec right at the top with 45.

0:30:480:30:51

OK, thanks very much.

0:30:510:30:53

Here is your third question.

0:30:530:30:55

Paul and Mark, you have to win this question to stay in the game.

0:30:550:30:58

Here it comes. We gave 100 people 100 seconds

0:30:590:31:03

to name as many Generation Game hosts and hostesses as they could.

0:31:030:31:08

-Richard.

-We're looking for any of the hosts, co-hosts or hostesses

0:31:080:31:12

of the Generation Game up to the start of 2011.

0:31:120:31:15

We're not looking for stand-ins on celebrity specials,

0:31:150:31:18

just any of the hosts, co-hosts or hostesses of the Generation Game.

0:31:180:31:21

OK, thanks very much.

0:31:210:31:24

Now, Paul and Mark, you go first this time.

0:31:240:31:26

I'm going to say - we're going to say, sorry -

0:31:270:31:30

Isla St Clair.

0:31:300:31:32

Isla St Clair.

0:31:320:31:33

Patrick and Kim you can do your talking out loud, if you like.

0:31:330:31:36

I think the answer we're going to go for is Larry Grayson.

0:31:360:31:40

OK, you're saying Larry Grayson. Paul and Mark said Isla St Clair.

0:31:400:31:44

Let's see how many people said Isla St Clair.

0:31:440:31:46

It's right.

0:31:480:31:50

Oh, it's low. Wow!

0:31:540:31:56

-Look at that - three!

-APPLAUSE

0:31:560:31:58

CHEERING

0:31:580:32:00

That's the way to do it. Three for Isla St Clair.

0:32:020:32:06

Very well done. Great low score, there.

0:32:060:32:08

Patrick and Kim have gone for Larry Grayson.

0:32:080:32:11

Let's see how many people said Larry Grayson.

0:32:110:32:13

It's right.

0:32:150:32:17

-Ooh, 31.

-APPLAUSE

0:32:200:32:21

Well, three beats 31.

0:32:250:32:27

So after three questions, you are one-all.

0:32:270:32:31

Absolutely even. Richard?

0:32:310:32:32

Yeah, Isla St Clair, a very, very good answer.

0:32:320:32:35

The answers that would have beaten it were mainly people who worked on the Jim Davidson series.

0:32:350:32:40

Stefania Aleksander worked with Brucie when it made a come-back on cable.

0:32:400:32:44

Lea Kristensen, Francine Lewis, also pointless.

0:32:440:32:47

They worked with Jim Davidson, as did Sally Meen and Melanie Stace.

0:32:470:32:50

Isla St Clair, there, with three.

0:32:500:32:52

Rosemarie Ford worked with Brucie, as did Anthea Redfern.

0:32:520:32:56

She scored eight.

0:32:560:32:57

Then the three hosts, there - Jim Davidson, 26.

0:32:570:32:59

Larry Grayson, 31, and Brucie on 80.

0:32:590:33:02

Here is your next question.

0:33:020:33:04

Whoever wins this question will be through to the final

0:33:040:33:07

and playing for that £11,000 jackpot. Very best of luck.

0:33:070:33:11

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

0:33:110:33:12

to name as many Roddy Doyle novels as they could. Richard?

0:33:120:33:18

We're looking for any of the nine fictional novels by Roddy Doyle.

0:33:180:33:23

We're not looking for plays, short stories or his children's books.

0:33:230:33:26

Any of the nine novels of Roddy Doyle.

0:33:260:33:28

OK, now, Patrick and Kim, you go first this time.

0:33:280:33:33

OK, yeah, we were between two, there

0:33:370:33:39

but I think I'm going to go, risk, the obscure one

0:33:390:33:43

and I think it's called The Woman Who Walked Into Doors.

0:33:430:33:47

The Woman Who Walked Into Doors, you are saying.

0:33:470:33:50

OK, The Woman Who Walked Into Doors. Now, then, Paul and Mark.

0:33:500:33:54

The Woman Who Walked Into Doors has gone.

0:33:540:33:57

This is not one of our strong subjects, at all.

0:33:570:33:59

-We're just going to have to have a guess.

-Just have a stab at it.

0:33:590:34:02

The Man Upstairs.

0:34:040:34:05

So we have The Woman Who Walked Into Doors and we have The Man Upstairs.

0:34:050:34:09

Let's take them in that order.

0:34:090:34:11

Patrick and Kim said The Woman Who Walked Into Doors.

0:34:110:34:14

Let's see how many people said it. Good luck.

0:34:140:34:16

That's right. It's a correct answer.

0:34:170:34:20

The Woman Who Walked Into Doors, down she goes...

0:34:200:34:24

-That's three.

-APPLAUSE

0:34:240:34:26

CHEERING

0:34:260:34:29

That scores three.

0:34:300:34:31

Very well done indeed.

0:34:350:34:38

Now, then, Paul and Mark, you have said The Man Upstairs.

0:34:380:34:41

Let's see if that's a correct answer and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

0:34:410:34:46

Yeah, I'm afraid that is an incorrect answer,

0:34:470:34:51

as you'd probably guessed.

0:34:510:34:53

Which means that brilliant low score, Patrick and Kim,

0:34:530:34:57

earns you your place in the final, after four questions.

0:34:570:35:01

Patrick and Kim are through to the final, two-one. Richard?

0:35:010:35:04

Two answers would have beaten The Woman Who Walked Into Doors.

0:35:040:35:08

Let's take a look.

0:35:080:35:09

The follow-up to The Woman Who Walked Into Doors, Paula Spencer,

0:35:090:35:13

that's the name of the very woman, she would have scored one,

0:35:130:35:16

as would Oh, Play That Thing, one of the Henry Smart novels.

0:35:160:35:19

The Woman Who Walked Into Doors, 3, The Snapper, 3, Dead Republic, 3.

0:35:190:35:23

That's the third Henry Smart book.

0:35:230:35:25

A Star Called Henry, another Henry Smart book, four.

0:35:250:35:28

Then The Van was six.

0:35:280:35:29

Paddy Clarke Ha Ha Ha, which won the Booker Prize, of course,

0:35:290:35:32

and The Commitments, his most famous, with 12 points.

0:35:320:35:35

Very well played, guys.

0:35:350:35:36

Thank you, Richard.

0:35:360:35:38

So the losing pair at the end of the head to head, it's Paul and Mark.

0:35:380:35:41

-Did you know any of those books?

-No.

-The Commitments, I've heard of.

0:35:410:35:46

-Yeah.

-But not a strong point of mine, literature.

0:35:460:35:49

Well, you've done phenomenally well. You've stormed through to the head to head.

0:35:490:35:54

You've made it a nail-biter, even up to this far.

0:35:540:35:57

We will have to say goodbye to you but we'll see you again next time.

0:35:570:36:01

-We look forward to that. Thank you for playing. Thanks.

-APPLAUSE

0:36:010:36:05

For Patrick and Kim, it's time for our Pointless final

0:36:060:36:09

and the chance to win our jackpot of £11,000.

0:36:090:36:11

CHEERING

0:36:150:36:17

Well, congratulations, Patrick and Kim.

0:36:170:36:20

You've fought off all the competition to win our coveted Pointless trophy. Well done.

0:36:200:36:26

APPLAUSE

0:36:260:36:28

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

0:36:330:36:36

and today, the jackpot stands at an incredible £11,000.

0:36:360:36:41

WHOOPING

0:36:410:36:43

To win that money, all you have to do is find a pointless answer,

0:36:450:36:48

an answer that none of our 100 people could think of.

0:36:480:36:51

We haven't had any pointless answers today.

0:36:510:36:54

You only have to find one to go home with that money.

0:36:540:36:56

First you've got to choose a category from these three options.

0:36:560:37:01

You can go for:

0:37:010:37:06

-I was expecting some horrible categories.

-They're quite good for us.

0:37:060:37:10

Politicians - we do politics.

0:37:100:37:12

-Countries - we're both quite good at geography.

-Yeah.

0:37:120:37:15

But I think... Patrick's a real whizz at football.

0:37:150:37:19

-He's an encyclopaedia of knowledge.

-That's putting me under pressure!

0:37:190:37:23

-But I think that can't be turned down.

-It's up to you but I think...

0:37:230:37:27

-If that's all right with you?

-Yeah, you...

0:37:270:37:30

I couldn't turn down a football question.

0:37:300:37:32

-We'll go for footballers.

-You're spoilt for choice.

0:37:320:37:35

That so rarely happens on this show.

0:37:350:37:37

OK, let's find out what the question is.

0:37:370:37:40

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many Champions League final scorers as they could.

0:37:400:37:48

We're looking for any player who's scored in a Champions League final,

0:37:480:37:51

from the first Champions League final in 1993 through to the 2010 final.

0:37:510:37:56

OK, you now have up to one minute to come up with three answers

0:37:560:38:00

and all you need to win that £11,000

0:38:000:38:02

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

0:38:020:38:05

Your 60 seconds start now.

0:38:050:38:06

Right, I think not the English teams

0:38:060:38:09

because people are going to support those teams and go for one of those.

0:38:090:38:15

-Do you think people from the '90s?

-I know in 1997

0:38:150:38:22

-Borussia Dortmund won it...

-That sounds good.

0:38:220:38:26

-..and I know a player called Lars Ricken scored the goal.

-Yeah?

0:38:260:38:33

-We need the next one, then.

-Yeah.

0:38:330:38:35

Erm... I think last year's final is probably too recent.

0:38:350:38:40

-Er...

-Any, like, Arsenal players?

0:38:400:38:44

We could go for Milito. He scored last year.

0:38:440:38:48

Those two players both sound good.

0:38:480:38:51

And also, I remember in the final against Arsenal,

0:38:510:38:54

it's a player called Belletti scored.

0:38:540:38:57

-So...

-OK. So maybe those three.

-Belletti...

-Five seconds left.

0:38:570:39:02

-Ricken, Belletti, Milito.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

0:39:020:39:06

-Yeah, I think we're...

-OK, we are there.

0:39:060:39:09

Your time is up. We were looking for Champions League final scorers.

0:39:090:39:12

I now need your three answers.

0:39:120:39:15

OK, I think the most obscure one is a guy called Lars Ricken.

0:39:150:39:18

Lars Ricken.

0:39:180:39:20

Probably the second most obscure is a player called Juliano Belletti.

0:39:200:39:24

Juliano Belletti.

0:39:240:39:26

And then Diego Milito, who scored last season.

0:39:260:39:29

-Diego Milito.

-I don't think that will be... Well, maybe...

0:39:290:39:32

You've said in reverse order of obscurity.

0:39:320:39:36

-I guess you'd want to put Ricken last.

-Ricken last.

0:39:360:39:39

-Milito first.

-And Milito first.

-Yeah.

-Yes.

0:39:390:39:42

OK, let's put them up on the board in that order.

0:39:420:39:45

Here they are.

0:39:450:39:47

We were looking for Champions League final scorers.

0:39:510:39:56

You said this was your least confident answer.

0:39:570:40:00

-Confident?

-Not on this one.

0:40:000:40:02

-But, well...

-Too recent in people's memories.

0:40:020:40:06

-Too fresh in their memories.

-OK, Diego Milito.

0:40:060:40:08

Let's see if it's right and if so, let's see how many people said Diego Milito.

0:40:080:40:13

Well, it's right. Down it comes.

0:40:160:40:18

Now nice and low. Into the teens.

0:40:210:40:23

Into single figures. Still going down.

0:40:230:40:26

Look at that! Two!

0:40:260:40:27

APPLAUSE

0:40:270:40:29

Well, well, well, Patrick.

0:40:290:40:31

Patrick and Kim, that's not a pointless answer

0:40:310:40:34

but we can draw a lot of comfort from that, I think.

0:40:340:40:37

OK, you only two more chances to win today's jackpot.

0:40:370:40:40

£11,000. What would you do with £11,000?

0:40:400:40:42

-A massive holiday. An expensive holiday.

-We'll be leaving the country ASAP, probably.

0:40:420:40:48

OK, well, very, very, very, very best of luck.

0:40:480:40:52

We are looking for Champions League final scorers.

0:40:520:40:56

Your next answer, Juliano Belletti. How did you come up with him?

0:40:560:41:00

Erm, it's quite a traumatic answer for me.

0:41:000:41:03

He scored the winning goal against Arsenal in the final in 2006,

0:41:030:41:06

so that's why I remember, really.

0:41:060:41:08

Yeah. Not for the right reasons but for other reasons.

0:41:080:41:12

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Juliano Belletti.

0:41:120:41:18

Very, very best of luck.

0:41:180:41:19

Well, it's right.

0:41:220:41:24

Diego Milito came down to two.

0:41:240:41:27

Juliano Belletti, let's see how far he's going to go down.

0:41:270:41:30

£11,000 riding on this. Down it goes.

0:41:300:41:34

-Yes!!!

-CHEERING AND SCREAMING

0:41:340:41:37

Very, very, very well done indeed.

0:41:390:41:42

Brilliant.

0:41:430:41:45

I can't believe it!

0:41:450:41:48

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:41:510:41:53

Ah!

0:41:550:41:58

Ah, congratulations!

0:41:580:42:00

Bravo! You managed to find that all-important Pointless answer,

0:42:000:42:04

which means you do go home with our jackpot of £11,000.

0:42:040:42:09

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:42:090:42:10

What about that? A very, very popular win, as well.

0:42:130:42:16

Superb. We'll let you digest that. Richard, what about that?

0:42:170:42:21

Brilliant, well done, Patrick, especially.

0:42:210:42:24

Really, really well-deserved, as well.

0:42:240:42:26

Lars Ricken, also a pointless answer. Very well done.

0:42:260:42:29

Scored for Borussia Dortmund. CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

0:42:290:42:32

Let's take a look at some other pointless answers.

0:42:360:42:40

People at home will have got some of these.

0:42:400:42:42

Basile Boli scored for Marseille. Deco scored for Porto.

0:42:420:42:47

Fabrizio Ravanelli, he scored in the final for Juventus,

0:42:470:42:51

a pointless answer.

0:42:510:42:52

Fernando Morientes for Real Madrid.

0:42:520:42:55

Karl-Heinz Riedle scored two goals in that Borussia Dortmund final

0:42:550:42:59

that Lars Ricken scored in.

0:42:590:43:00

Lucio scored for Bayer Leverkusen but then lost.

0:43:000:43:03

Paolo Maldini scored in one minute against Liverpool for AC Milan.

0:43:030:43:06

Patrick Kluivert for Ajax and then Sol Campbell who scored Arsenal's goal in that final

0:43:060:43:11

He was also a pointless answer.

0:43:110:43:13

Thank you very much, Richard.

0:43:130:43:16

Well, thanks once again to our winning players, Patrick and Kim,

0:43:160:43:19

who go away with today's jackpot of £11,000. Very well done indeed.

0:43:190:43:23

CHEERING

0:43:230:43:25

-I don't know what to do!

-No. I feel like I'm in a dream.

0:43:270:43:30

Next time we'll put more obscure knowledge to the test.

0:43:300:43:33

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

0:43:330:43:36

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

0:43:360:43:38

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