Episode 1 Pointless

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you very much! Thank you! Well, hello! I'm Alexander Armstrong and a very warm welcome to Pointless

the quiz show where the lowest scorers are the biggest winners. Let's meet today's players.

First we welcome Tom and Hazel. You are our first pair. How do you two know each other?

Well, we're mother and son. She's the mum, I'm the son.

-Oh! Phewy! Thanks, Tom.

-And we're from Oxfordshire.

-From Oxfordshire. What do you do, Hazel?

-I'm a hotel housekeeper.

-Tom, what do you do?

-I'm a tattoo artist.

-You are.

-You showed me when I was meeting you before. You've got a white tattoo on your neck.

-Yeah, just up there.

-Do you think the cameras will pick that up?

-I doubt it.

-Is it rude?

-No, no.

-It's a little white thing just there.

-Ohh! Look at that.

-And that's just ink, is it?

-Yes.

-What would you love to come up this afternoon?

Erm, TV, film, that kind of thing. Lord Of The Rings would be especially nice.

Indeed. OK. Hazel, how about you?

-Films, music.

-A bit of overlap!

-Yeah, I know.

-Oh, dear! Very good.

It's lovely meeting you. Welcome to the show.

Next we welcome back Paul and Mark.

You were on the show last time. Remind us what happened to you.

-We got to the head-to-head.

-What saw you off?

Roddy Doyle novels. Literature.

-Dear, oh, dear.

-Never heard of him.

-Yeah, you had to make some up.

-Yeah.

-Well, what about him? He has to make them up every time he writes one!

Paul, what would you love to have come up this afternoon?

-A bit of sport.

-Bit of sport.

-TV.

-TV.

It's great to have you back. Very best of luck this afternoon.

Next we welcome Taresh and Raj. How do you two know each other?

Erm, he's my brother. I've known him for a while.

My mum put me down to sleep on a single bed and I woke up on a bunk bed.

-I was at the top and this little critter was at the bottom.

-You woke up one morning and there he was.

-The beard obviously came later.

-LAUGHTER

-I found it on the pillow.

-That's what it was.

Oh, very good indeed.

-And where have you come from?

-I come from the Vale of Belvoir in between Leicestershire and Nottinghamshire.

-Excellent. Taresh?

-I'm a jobbing actor, so I'm from anywhere, really.

-Where do you lay your hat?

-Yeah, it's back there at the moment, my hat.

-ALEXANDER LAUGHS

-Well, I'm delighted you laid it here for this afternoon, anyway.

Great to have you on the show. Welcome. I hope you enjoy it and very best of luck.

Finally we welcome back Mary and Jess. You were on the show last time.

Everyone gets two chances to reach the final. Remind us how you did.

We got knocked off in the second question.

-And it was words beginning with Q.

-Remind us what you do, Jess.

-I'm training to be a doctor.

-Training to be a doctor. How long have you done?

-I've done my fourth year.

-So just 16 years to go.

-Yeah, basically!

-It takes forever, doesn't it?

-Mary.

-Yes.

-What would you love to see come up this afternoon?

-Musicals.

-Musicals.

-Maybe history.

Very best of luck. It's great to have you back. We'll find out more about all of you during the show.

Only one more person to introduce. In the lift of obscurity, he only ever gets out on the top floor.

-He is my Pointless friend, he is Richard.

-Hiya.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-How are you?

-I'm extremely well.

-If I only ever get out on the top floor,

-how do I get down?

-Well, you go down the stairs.

-The stairs of obscurity.

-Of course.

-Silly me.

-Cos you like to get to the bottom of things.

-LAUGHTER

-Ohh!

-On you go.

-I think that's probably for the best.

As you say, two returning pairs today, Mary and Jess and Paul and Mark.

Paul and Mark did very well last time, got to the head-to-head, usually suggests good things.

So they should do well. It should be a very good show.

Very good. Thank you. We put all out questions to 100 people before the show

but we're after the obscure answers they didn't get.

To stay in the game with a chance to win our jackpot, you need to score as few points as possible.

What everyone's trying to do is find a pointless answer that none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens, we'll add £250 to the jackpot.

Patrick and Kim walked off with the jackpot last time,

so today's jackpot starts off at £1,000.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Right! Let's play Pointless!

In the first round, each of you must give me one answer and you cannot confer with your partner.

The team with the highest score at the end of the round will be eliminated. An incorrect answer

will score the maximum of 100 points. Try and avoid those if you can.

Our first category this afternoon is...

Can you decide who's going first, who's going second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many Sean Connery films as they could. Richard.

We're looking for any feature film made for UK cinema release up to April 2011

for which Sean Connery received an acting credit. No short films, TV films,

documentaries or anything where he played himself, but voice performances do count.

Any Sean Connery film released in the UK. Very best of luck.

OK, thank you very much. Right, Hazel and Tom,

you all drew lots before the show and you get to go first.

Sean Connery films. Hazel, you're looking quietly confident, I'd like to say.

-Medicine Man.

-LAUGHTER

That's a Sean Connery film. Good. Medicine Man, OK.

Let's see if it's a correct answer, and if it is, how many of our 100 people said Medicine Man.

It's correct!

Looking very good. Down it goes.

-Oh! Very good indeed, Hazel!

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Just what the doctor ordered! Medicine Man!

-Scores you one point. Richard.

-Very well played.

Absolutely no pause at all and a very good answer. From 1992.

He plays a scientist in the Amazonian jungle.

We come to you, Paul. What is the most obscure Sean Connery film you can think of?

I'm going to say one he was in with Nicholas Cage, Alcatraz, called The Rock.

The Rock. Let's see if The Rock is correct, and if it is, how many of our 100 people said The Rock.

It's right.

Ooh, it's another good answer, Paul. 26.

APPLAUSE

26 points for The Rock. Richard.

Yeah, from 1996, The Rock. As you say, The Rock itself was Alcatraz.

Apparently, Connery had a cabin built there so he could stay. He didn't like the journey back and forth.

They say that he lived on Alcatraz throughout the filming.

OK, Raj. What is the most obscure Sean Connery film you can think of?

Let's go for The Hunt For Red October.

Let's see if The Hunt For Red October is right, and if it is, how many people said it.

It's right.

-Wow, 21!

-APPLAUSE

Not a bad answer. 21 points for The Hunt For Red October.

Yeah, well played, Raj. From 1990. He plays a Lithuanian submarine boat captain

with a very broad Scottish accent. LAUGHTER

I think you once judged a competition for the best ever newspaper headline,

it was police who were looking for stolen cars, and what was the headline?

-The Hunt For Red Hot Skoda.

-LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

That was a cracking headline.

Now then, Mary, we come to you.

-I'm going to go with one of the Bond films.

-OK.

-This isn't my strongest point at all.

-Right.

I'll go for Goldfinger.

Just one of the lesser-known Bond films, then. OK.

You're hoping to score as few points as possible. Let's see how many people said Goldfinger.

Still going down! Look at that! 23!

APPLAUSE

I eat my words, Mary. 23. There you are. Not the highest score after all. 23 for Goldfinger, Richard.

I know, Goldfinger scores less than The Rock.

Obviously, one of his outings as James Bond. Goldfinger is named after the architect Erno Goldfinger.

He made a lot of houses in London, including ones in Willow Road

and Ian Fleming used to live opposite them, so apparently, to get his own back,

cos he didn't like the houses, he called him Goldfinger.

Yeah? OK, well, we're halfway through the round

so let's take a look at the scores as they stand. Hazel and Tom, what a fabulous answer. Medicine Man.

And then quite a hike, we go up to Raj and Taresh on 21.

Then up to Mary and Jess on 23. Then up to Paul and Mark on 26.

Mark, it's very close, but you're going to have to find a nice low-scoring answer

to make sure you stay in the game. Back down the line. Second players, take your places.

OK, we are looking for Sean Connery films. Jess.

-Now, this wasn't a great subject for Mary.

-And it's not for me.

Oh, no, no, don't say that!

It's not. Erm, I'm going to have to follow a similar kind of theme,

and I'm not sure it's right, but I'm going to say Never Say Never Again.

There is your red line. It's quite low.

Below that, you are through to the next round.

Never Say Never Again. Let's see how many people said that.

It's right.

Goldfinger scored 23.

Surely it'll be lower than that. Yes, it is. Down it goes. Eight!

-APPLAUSE

-That's a great answer, Jess. Very well done.

That takes your total up to 31. Richard.

Not a bad answer, Jess. It keeps you in the round. Never Say Never Again was an unofficial Bond film

so less well-known than other Bond outings.

-Taresh. You're an actor.

-I am.

I think that somehow qualifies you to pluck out of thin air a pointless Sean Connery film.

I can think of quite a few, but what's life worth if you're not pointless?

So I'm going to go for something a little bit obscure

which I think had Michelle Pf-Pf-Pf-Pfeiffer in it.

-Russia House?

-Russia House!

Raj is nodding. Very, very good. That could be a superb answer!

The high-scorers currently are Jess and Mary on 31.

That means if you can score nine or less with Russia House, you're through!

Let's wait and see. There's your red line. Get below that, through you go

to the next round. Is it right? How many people said Russia House?

Ooh, Taresh, it's right.

It's a correct answer. I think this will go a long way down.

-Oh, look at that! Superb!

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Very, very, very well done, Taresh! That's a pointless!

It adds £250 to today's jackpot, taking the total up to £1,250.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

It also scores you nothing and leaves your total at 21. You're through to the next round. Richard.

Brilliantly played, Taresh. Well done. The Russia House from 1990.

Well done if you got that. Michelle Pfeiffer is in it. Sean Connery plays a British publisher in Moscow.

-It's based on the John le Carre novel.

-Very good.

Now then, Mark, we are looking for Sean Connery films.

The high scorers are Mary and Jess on 31.

You're on 26, which means if you can score four or less,

-you're through to the next round.

-I'm going to go for Entrapment.

-Entrapment.

-Yeah.

Very good. Entrapment.

Let's see if it's right, and if it is, how many people said it.

There's your red line.

If Entrapment, like Catherine Zeta-Jones under those lasers,

can get you below that red line... I'm just brilliant at this, aren't I?

-LAUGHTER

-Ohh!

-Yeah, you're terrific.

-Aren't I?

-Yeah.

-Yeah, if your shapely answer

can work its way beneath that red line... Entrapment. Is it right? How many people said it?

It's right!

Ohh, look at that!

-Ooh, 15!

-APPLAUSE

It scores you 15, takes your total up to 41.

It could be good enough. It's all in the hands of Tom. Richard.

Yeah, another fairly high-scoring one from 1999. So, yeah, game on now.

Game on, as you say. Good answer. Is it good enough?

-Well, Tom, you know the answer to that.

-I know a few. I'm just trying to think which would be better.

That fact The Rock scored 26 did worry me.

Erm, there's three I'm choosing between. The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen,

Dragonheart and Highlander II. I think I'll go for Dragonheart, cos it's just a voiceover.

Dragonheart, just a voiceover. Raj is nodding.

Raj nods when people are about to get pointless answers.

There is your red line. Below that red line, you're through to the next round.

Very best of luck. Let's see if it's right, and if it is, how many people said Dragonheart.

Well done.

You're through to the next round. Very well done.

-Ohh!

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Eight points for Dragonheart. Takes your total up to nine.

-Richard.

-Yeah, well played, Tom. Good answer.

Three good answers. That scored you eight. The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen was nine.

And Highlander II: The Quickening would've scored one. So three very, very good answers.

Let's look at the pointless answers.

Another Time, Another Place that he filmed with Lana Turner, pointless.

Finding Forrester, pointless. Just Cause, also pointless, well done if you got that.

Let's take a look at the next page.

Rising Sun. Tarzan's Greatest Adventure. Can't have been that great. The Avengers.

He was in the terrible remake of that film. Let's take a look at the last page.

The Longest Day, set in the D-Day landings, that was a pointless answer.

Russia House we've had. And Time Bandits, where he played King Agamemnon and a fireman.

-Well done if you got any of those.

-Thank you, Richard.

Well, at the end of round one, it turns out the losing pair with the highest score are Mark and Paul.

Bad luck. This wasn't in the script at all. You were meant to be here much longer.

We need to get back to work tomorrow.

Well, dear, oh, dear. Whose fault was that?

-You're going to blame Paul?

-Yeah.

-For The Rock?

-Yeah.

-I would've thought The Rock would be very low-scoring.

As, presumably, did you. Well, I'm afraid this is where we say goodbye. This is your second appearance.

But you've been excellent contestants. Thanks for playing.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

For the remaining three pairs, it's now time for round two.

There's only room for two pairs in the head-to-head, so one team will leave us at the end of this round.

You just have to make sure it's not you. Our category for round two this afternoon is...

Decide who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, step up to the podium.

OK, our round two question this afternoon concerns...

-Richard.

-Yeah, we're going to show you six historical figures on each pass.

We asked 100 people, "In which modern-day country were each of these figures born?"

A nice obscure one will score fewer points. An incorrect answer will score 100 points.

As always, by modern-day country we mean a member of the UN that's a sovereign state in its own right.

So we're looking for the modern-day countries in which each of these historical figures was born.

And we have got...

Right, there they are. Tom, you are first up.

-What does that list look like to you?

-Horrible.

-Really?

Absolutely horrible. I'll have to pick something really obvious cos I really don't know.

I'm going to go John F Kennedy and say America.

You're saying John F Kennedy, America. Let's see if it's right,

and if it is, how many people knew that answer. John F Kennedy, America.

It's ri...

-I didn't even get time to say it was right.

-LAUGHTER

It's right! It is right. Tom, it's right.

-You are seven better than wrong.

-LAUGHTER

-It scored you 93 points.

-Yeah.

Of course, United States of America. Very big score. Seven people out there don't know where he was born.

Born in 1917 in America, JFK.

-Ray, it's your turn.

-Right.

-John F Kennedy and America have gone.

I could play this tactically seeing as he got such a high score, or I could go for broke.

Erm... Let's go Ho Chi Minh and go Vietnam.

Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam.

Let's see if it's right, and if it is, how many people knew that answer.

Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam.

It's right.

Very well done.

-21 for Ho Chi Minh.

-APPLAUSE

That's a great answer.

At the end of the show, I will demonstrate for you the look Taresh made

when you said you were going to go for broke. Ho Chi Minh, Richard.

Yeah, well played, Raj. Born in Vietnam.

Spent a lot of his youth in England and worked in hotels in Ealing and Haymarket.

Very good answer. We come to you, Jess. You are the last person to have this board

so please feel free to give us answers to all of those questions

-including ones you don't choose to answer yourself.

-I have no idea where Ferdinand Magellan was born.

Between the other three, I think Da Vinci was born in Italy,

Mandela in South Africa, but I'm going to go for Pope John Paul II

who I think was born in Poland.

Poland you're saying for Pope John Paul II.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many people knew that answer, Poland.

Very well done.

-APPLAUSE

-47.

47. Surprisingly high number for that.

Yes, Pope John Paul II in Poland.

Yeah, well played, Jess. It is quite a high score.

The first non-Italian pope for 450 years, John Paul II.

Let's take a look at the rest of the board. Leonardo Da Vinci, Italy.

would've scored you 78 points.

-Nelson Mandela.

-South Africa.

-South Africa. That would've scored 68.

And the best answer on the board is Ferdinand Magellan.

-Do you know where he was born?

-Portugal?

-He was born in Portugal. Would've scored 20 points.

-There we are.

Very good. We're halfway through the round so let's take a look at the scores.

On 21, Raj and Taresh. Fantastic score.

Then we go up to 47 for Jess and Mary.

And then Tom and Hazel, I'm afraid, ooh,

you paid dearly for that JFK answer.

Hazel, you have a mountain to climb in the next pass, but stranger things have happened.

Back down the line. Second players, take your places.

OK, we're going to put six more historical figures on the board. And here they are.

We're looking for the modern-day countries in which each of these historical figures was born.

You're trying to find the one that fewest of our 100 people knew. Mary, we come to you.

Erm, I'm going to play it really safe

and go for Joan of Arc

and France.

OK. Joan of Arc and France.

Here is your red line. If Joan of Arc gets you below that red line, you're through to the next round.

Let's see if Joan of Arc and France is correct, and if it is, how many people said it.

It's right. Ooh! I thought it was another JFK moment.

Yes, 83, which takes your total up to 130. Richard.

Yeah, Joan of Arc. A big score again. She was canonised in 1920.

One of her many crimes was to suggest that saints spoke French rather than English,

-which was what they were presumed to have spoken.

-I can see why she was put to burn.

LAUGHTER

Right, so, Taresh, we come to you. You cannot lose.

-You cannot lose.

-That's good!

Doesn't matter what you score here, you are through to the next round.

The high scorers are Mary and Jess on 130. You're only on 21.

-I'll do my dance now.

-LAUGHTER

It was nothing more or less than I was expecting.

I've just been told you can lose.

-LAUGHTER

-I'll take it back.

I know Mahatma Gandhi is connected with India,

but there's a little voice in the back of my head that says he was born in South Africa.

-I don't know if I should listen to that voice anymore.

-Wouldn't that be brilliant if you got that right?

That's what I'm going to go for. South Africa, Mahatma Gandhi.

Like I said, it doesn't matter what you score. So well done. We'll all learn something.

Mahatma Gandhi, South Africa. Is it right, and if it is, how many people said it?

Ohh! No, that is an incorrect answer.

It scores you the maximum of 100 points, takes your total up to 121.

-It doesn't matter. You're through anyway. Richard.

-And we've all learnt something.

-Yeah.

-Specifically, we've learned that Mahatma Gandhi wasn't born in South Africa.

I hope that's taught everyone at home a lesson. Sitting there thinking he was born in South Africa.

Quite right. Now, Hazel, we come to you. You are on 93.

The high scorers are Mary and Jess on 130 points.

If you can score 36 or less with this answer, you are through to the head-to-head.

I'm going to go for Haile Selassie, Ethiopia.

Haile Selassie, Ethiopia you're saying. You're on 93.

There's your red line. If you get below that red line with Ethiopia, you are through to the head-to-head

and we'll be saying goodbye to Mary and Jess.

Let's see if that's right, Ethiopia for Haile Selassie. How many people said it?

Very well done, Hazel, that's a great answer.

You are through to the head-to-head. Oh! And just!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Just!

That scores you 34, takes your total up to 127. Richard.

Yeah, brilliantly played, Hazel. Very, very well done. She saved you there, Tom.

-It's nice for a mum to save a son, isn't it?

-Very nice indeed.

Born in Ethiopia in 1892, Haile Selassie. Let's take a look at the rest of the board.

Mahatma Gandhi, believe it or not, born in India. India. LAUGHTER

Who knew? I tell you what, they should make a film or something about that guy.

Bring him to wider attention. Would've scored you 81 points.

Ivan the Terrible is Russia. Would've scored you 52 points.

Martin Luther was born in Germany. Well done if you got that. Would've scored you 20 points.

The best answer on either board is Simon Bolivar, would've scored you two points.

-Do you know where he was born?

-Venezuela?

Exactly right. Venezuelan rather than Bolivian. Very well done if you got that at home.

-APPLAUSE

-Well, thanks very much, Richard.

So the losing pair at the end of round two, I'm afraid, your lovely high score there, Mary and Jess,

130 sees you off.

-Oh, dear. It was round two last time, as well.

-Yeah, it was.

What is it with round two? Dear, oh, dear. And history.

-But it was Joan of Arc that did it for you.

-It did, yeah.

-Thanks so much for playing, you've been lovely contestants.

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, things get even more exciting as we enter the head-to-head.

Well done, Tom and Hazel, Taresh and Raj, you've made it through to the head-to-head.

Only one pair can make it through to today's final and play for the jackpot which stand at £1,250.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

You'll go head-to-head on the best of three questions.

For each question, each pair needs to give me just one answer. You are now allowed to confer.

Find an answer that scores less than the other pair and you win that question.

The first pair to get to the best of three will be playing for today's jackpot. Let's play Pointless.

OK, here is your first question.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name

as many Flintstones characters as they could.

-Richard.

-We're looking for any of the four main characters and their two children

that make up the immediate Flintstone and Rubble families in the animated TV show.

No pets, please, just the four main characters and their two children. See if you can name all six at home.

Thank you very much. OK, Tom and Hazel, because you've played best so far,

you get to go first. We're looking for Flintstones characters.

-THEY WHISPER

-OK.

-That didn't take long!

-Pebbles.

Pebbles. OK, we have Pebbles. Taresh and Raj.

Well, it's pointless going for Fred and Barney and Wilma.

-Bamm-Bamm.

-Bamm-Bamm it has to be.

-Probably Bamm-Bamm.

-Yeah.

-BOTH: Bamm-Bamm.

-Bamm-Bamm, OK. We have Pebbles, we have Bamm-Bamm. In the order they were given.

Tom and Hazel went for Pebbles. Let's see if it's right, and if it is, how many people said it.

It's right.

-63.

-APPLAUSE

63 for Pebbles. Taresh and Raj, you've gone for Bamm-Bamm.

Let's see if it's right, and if it is, how many people said Bamm-Bamm.

It's correct.

-Ooh!

-71 for Bamm-Bamm.

-APPLAUSE

So, after our first question, Tom and Hazel are in the lead 1-0. Richard.

Yeah, very, very high-scoring round, this one,

including that rarest of things, there's a 100 score.

Let's take a look at all six answers. Pebbles is the best answer you could've given.

63 was the best answer on the board, Pebbles. Let's look at the others.

Betty would've scored you 66. Would've beaten Bamm-Bamm, 71. Lovely name for a child, don't you think?

-Definitely.

-You don't hear it so much anymore.

Wilma, 91. Barney, 94. And Fred Flintstone, 100.

-He's done very well.

-He has. He really has. Well done you.

I forgot him when I was thinking of them. I got the other five.

LAUGHTER Couldn't get him.

-Well, we've got it now. There you are, Fred.

-Fred!

-Remember that.

Here is your second question.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name

as many ranks of the Metropolitan Police Force as they could.

Yeah, there are 11 general ranks in the Metropolitan Police Force.

Those don't include CID ranks. So "detective something" doesn't count in this.

Just the 11 general ranks of the Metropolitan Police Force. See how many of those you can get.

Wow. So, Taresh and Raj, you are to go first.

THEY WHISPER

Chief superintendent.

You're saying chief superintendent. This has to win the point if you're going to stay in the game.

-Tom and Hazel.

-Er, we're really unsure.

We've gone for commissioner.

-Commissioner.

-Yeah.

-We have chief superintendent, we have commissioner.

Taresh and Raj, chief superintendent.

Let's see if it's right, and if it is, how many people said it.

It's right!

Oh, it's good. Very good!

-Eight points!

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Very well done! Chief superintendent.

Eight points. Tom and Hazel have gone for commissioner.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many people said it.

If you win this point, Tom and Hazel, you are through to the final.

Commissioner.

Well, it's right.

It's another low one.

-Ooh, 17!

-APPLAUSE

17 to 8. So, Taresh and Raj,

you are now on a point. So it's one-all after two questions. Richard.

Yeah, two very good answers. There's 11 answers in all.

If anyone at home got all 11, either you used to be in the police force or you've been arrested a lot.

Or maybe both. Let's take a look at all of them.

Commissioner, you were on the right lines.

There are three answers that could've won it for you and each has the word commissioner in it.

Let's take a look at all of them.

Deputy assistant commissioner is a pointless answer.

Very well done if you said that at home. Assistant commissioner, too.

Deputy commissioner would've scored you two. I'm not sure of the difference.

Chief superintendent, we've already seen that, eight. Commander, 13.

Commissioner we've had, that was 17. Let's take a look at the rest of the board.

Superintendent, 26. Chief inspector, 35. Inspector, 53.

Constable, 71. And right at the top, sergeant with 76. Very, very well done if you got all of those.

Here is your third question. Whoever wins this point is through to the final.

OK, We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name

as many US states that border Canada as they could. Richard.

We're looking for any US state that shares a border with Canada. There are 13 US states

-that share a border with Canada.

-OK. Thanks very much. Tom and Hazel, you go first again.

-Minnesota.

-Minnesota.

Taresh and Raj, Minnesota has gone.

-OK, we're going to go with Vermont.

-Vermont.

OK, we have Minnesota and we have Vermont.

Tom and Hazel, you said Minnesota. Let's see if it's right, and if it is, how many people said Minnesota.

It's right.

-Eight!

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Eight for Minnesota.

Very well done. How sure are you of Vermont, Taresh and Raj?

I didn't even know it was a state.

I think it's up there somewhere.

-It's up there somewhere.

-Yeah, I...

-OK. Very good.

If this goes lower than eight, you are through to the final.

If it's higher than eight... I'm assuming it's correct.

..then Tom and Hazel go through to the final.

Vermont. Is it right? How many people said Vermont?

It's right.

Ooh, down it goes! Oh, look at that! Three!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Wow.

Very, very well done. So after our third question,

Taresh and Raj are through to the final 2-1. Richard.

Yeah, brilliantly played, Raj. It's a very, very good answer.

There's 13 of them so I know lots of people at home will be desperately thinking about the top bit of America

and trying to work their way along. I'll put you out of your misery. Let's take a look.

Pennsylvania, a pointless answer. Very well done if you said that.

New Hampshire, two. Vermont, three. One of the best answers, Raj.

Ohio, Montana and Maine, all on seven,

as is Idaho. Let's take a look at the next page.

There's North Dakota and Minnesota, both eight.

Michigan, nine. Washington, 17.

New York, 20. And right at the top, Alaska with 30.

It's the most northernmost state in America and also the most easternmost and the most westernmost, Alaska.

Very well done if you got all 13. Congratulations.

Very well done indeed. So the losing pair at the end of the head-to-head, it's Tom and Hazel.

You've done incredibly well. You did brilliantly.

Very close, nice and low answers in all cases.

Pebbles, although it sounded like a high score on 63, was the best answer.

-Did you have other US states up your sleeve?

-No.

-No.

You didn't really need one. Minnesota was pretty good.

You just weren't banking on Vermont.

-No.

-Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.

Well, you've made fantastic account of yourselves and we will see you again next time.

Everyone gets two shots at the final and this was only your first.

-But thanks very much for playing today. It's been lovely.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

But for Taresh and Raj, it's now time for our Pointless final

and the chance to win our jackpot of £1,250.

Well done! Congratulations, Taresh and Raj,

you fought off all the competition. You have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £1,250.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

The rules are very simple. To win the money, all you have to do is find a Pointless answer

that none of our 100 people could think of. We've only had one today and that was Taresh

-with The Russia House. A brilliant answer, if I may say.

-Thank you.

You only have to find one more and you will go home with the money.

First you have to choose a category from these three options.

We have...

-I know nothing about politicians.

-I would say go for politicians.

-What?

LAUGHTER

-Popular fiction or...

-I think popular fiction. We both can have a go at that one.

-But it's popular.

-I'm going to tell Mum.

-LAUGHTER

-Popular fiction.

-Popular fiction.

OK. That's going to be popular with your mum, is it?

-Yes.

-She'll be glad you've gone for that?

-He won't be, but yeah, she will.

-She's screaming, "Pop divas!"

-LAUGHTER

-What would you like it to be in popular fiction?

Shaawooo... Something that I know!

-LAUGHTER

-Marvel Comics.

-Fair enough.

Marvel Comics. Let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name

as many Ben Elton novels as they could.

We're looking for any novel published before 2011 for which Ben Elton is the author.

So we're not looking for short stories or compendiums or non-fiction.

Just any of Ben Elton's novels.

OK, you now have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that £1,250 jackpot is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

Your 60 seconds start now.

-Gridlock. Popcorn, I think.

-Yeah, Popcorn.

I can't think of any more.

It escapes me.

Does that not include his musicals?

-No, no musicals.

-OK.

-I can't remember a third.

-I read one but I can't remember what it's called.

-It was so long ago.

-I don't...

-Politicians sounds good now, doesn't it?

-Very good.

-I can't think of any.

-I can't think of a third.

-I know the popular ones.

-Gridlock, Popcorn.

-No.

-I'm out. I've drawn a blank.

Oh. It'll come to me.

-There is one there in my mind.

-You've got 12 seconds for it to come to you.

-OK.

-Five seconds.

-Get out of there. It's in there somewhere. Bring it out.

-Something about New Eden.

-OK.

There's your minute up.

We were looking for Ben Elton novels.

I now need three answers from you. What are you going to give me?

OK.

-Popcorn.

-Popcorn.

-Gridlocked.

-Gridlocked.

Guess. I can't remember what it's called. I think it's called New Eden.

-New Eden, then.

-I...

-New Eden.

-And New Eden. OK.

Of those, which do you think is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Gridlocked.

-Gridlocked. OK, we'll put that last.

-And your least likely?

-Popcorn's probably the most popular.

There they are. OK, we're looking for Ben Elton novels.

You have to have at least one pointless answer among those three.

You said this was your least confident answer.

One pointless answer, just one, will be enough to win you that £1,250 jackpot.

OK, let's see if Popcorn's right, and if it is, how many people said Popcorn.

This was your least confident shot.

It's correct.

OK, well, down it goes into the 20s.

Into the teens. If this goes down to zero...

Oh, look at that! What about that?

APPLAUSE

-Who's that one person?

-Listen, that was not only a very popular novel,

-it was also a play on the West End.

-Crazy.

-And it scored only one!

So that was your least confident answer. Unfortunately, that's not a pointless answer.

-I don't think you were expecting it to go as low as that.

-No, not at all.

OK. This could be very exciting. New Eden.

Might that be the name you were thinking of?

-Any chance?

-It might be.

This has to be pointless to win that jackpot.

£1,250.

-What would you do with that?

-Buy a large bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon.

-A very expensive one.

-What kind of Cabernet Sauvignon?

-The red type.

-LAUGHTER

-OK.

-LAUGHTER

-We have a master of wine here.

-LAUGHTER

-What about you, Taresh?

-THEY LAUGH

-I'll just go to the pub.

-LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

Right, OK, here we go. New Eden. Is it right? How many people said it?

Well, that would've been, frankly, miraculous if a book you'd just made up

had in fact been written by Ben Elton. You only have one more chance to win today's jackpot.

Your third answer is Gridlocked. You said this is the one you had the most faith in. OK.

There's £1,250 riding on this.

Let's see if it's right, and if it is, how many people said it.

This has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot. Gridlocked.

No!

APPLAUSE

Is it Gridlock?

-We added an E-D.

-Mm.

-Yeah. OK.

-It's Gridlock, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-I don't know.

-Ah, close.

So you haven't found that pointless answer.

It means you don't win today's jackpot of £1,250.

-Dear, oh, dear!

-Yeah, Taresh is exactly right. It's not Gridlocked, it's Gridlock.

AUDIENCE: Ohhh!

If you had said Gridlock, it would've scored four points.

So that is a relief.

New Eden wasn't bad. It's This Other Eden. But it would've scored you one point,

so it just would've prolonged the agony.

There were a whole bunch of pointless answers. Let's look.

You'll recognise some of these. Blast From The Past. Chart Throb, which was his Pop Idol satire.

High Society. All of those pointless answers.

Inconceivable. Past Mortem, which was about Friends Reunited.

The First Casualty, which was set in Flanders in 1917. Very well done if you got any of these.

One last page. Meltdown, which was from 2010 about the financial crisis.

Well done if you got any of those. Tough luck, guys. Very well played.

Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye. This is terrible. You've only been on one show.

You've made the massive mistake of getting through to the final on your first show

so we only get to see you once, which is our loss.

But you've been fantastic contestants. Thank you so much for playing. Brilliant.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

So nobody's won our jackpot today, which means it rolls over onto the next show

when we will be playing for £2,250.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Join us next time, see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And goodbye from me. Goodbye.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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