Episode 40 Pointless

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello. I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless -

the quiz show that puts obscure knowledge to the test.

Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

Welcome, Phil and Carol. Where have you come from?

I've come from Tunbridge Wells. And my sister, Carol, is from Harrow.

-Carol, what do you do in Harrow?

-Em, well, I work at the British Museum.

I'm a paper conservator,

currently training how to mount Chinese scrolls.

-Wow. These are ancient Chinese scrolls?

-They don't let me touch the ancient ones

just yet. Cos it's, like, a 10-year training process.

10 years training? OK.

-Phil, what do you do?

-I'm at university, studying advertising and brand management.

-Advertising and brand management.

-It's brilliant because my favourite pastime of watching TV,

-I count that as "research".

-That's brilliant.

Yes, that means you're not allowed to whiz through the ad breaks.

Yeah. Not allowed, not allowed.

Best of luck to the pair of you. Great to have you here.

And next we welcome Phil H and Mick. Now, how do you two know each other?

-Mick's my dad.

-Ah!

-Mick's my dad.

I've known him for 48 years,

although the first few were a little bit hazy for me.

I've a lot of photos to sort of bring back the memories,

but we both come from Wellingborough in Northamptonshire.

Very good. What would you like to see come up, Phil, this afternoon?

Chinese manuscripts would be good.

-Yes, I was just thinking that would be good, wouldn't it?

-Yeah.

Anything to do with that.

No, again, I'd love anything to do with entertainment.

I do actually like ancient history -

the Roman era up to the time of Julius Caesar.

That's always been an interest for me.

-Mick, what about you?

-Something that I have some slight knowledge about, I think.

-OK.

I like to think I know a little bit about sport,

little bit about geography.

Em, politics, I suppose, in a way. So, we live in hopes on that one.

-OK. A nice sort of broad field of interests.

-Exactly.

-Splendid.

Great to have you both here. Welcome.

Next we welcome back Mandy and Ryan. You were on the show last time.

Everyone gets two chances to reach the final. This is your last chance.

-Remind us how you did.

-Not good.

-Not very well, unfortunately.

Went out on the first round with "eek".

Words ending in E-E-K.

-Geek and leek we had from you. And they just scored very high.

-They did.

-I thought geek would be low. I thought that was one of my words.

-It seems everyone's using it now.

LAUGHTER

What are you going to hope comes up this afternoon?

-Bit of music?

-Geography would be quite good.

Em, I drive quite long distances through lots of countries,

so something to do with geography would be quite good.

Well, great to have you back on the show. We'll hope we see more of you this time. Best of luck.

And finally, we welcome back Tom and Darren.

You were also on the show last time. Remind us what happened with you.

Yes, we did quite well. We got to the head-to-head.

But unfortunately we didn't go any further.

I honestly think the couple that beat us were very good, very good.

-Excellent. Give them all credit to that.

-Very good.

-Darren, what would you like to see come up this afternoon?

-Maybe a bit of TV. I do like watching TV.

I like watching my soaps a little bit. And sport as well. I watch a lot of sport on TV as well.

Good. Tom, what would you like to see this afternoon?

Well, I'd like to see maybe history

because it's one of me major subjects.

I'm also interested in the battles that were in the First World War

and also the Second World War. So, really speaking, history and the war.

OK. Best of luck to the pair of you. Great to have you all here.

We'll find out more about you as the show goes on. There's one person left to introduce.

He toils in the engine room of the good ship Obscurity.

-He's my Pointless friend. He's Richard.

-Hiya.

APPLAUSE

-Good afternoon to you.

-Good afternoon to you.

We've two returning pairs who had very mixed fortunes last time.

Mandy and Ryan, we didn't see much of. Would be nice to see a bit more of them today.

But Tom and Darren went all the way through to a very tough head-to-head.

They played well. I suspect they could do well. It might be tough

for our two new pairs today, but should be a cracking game.

Thanks very much, Richard.

We put all our questions to 100 people before the show. But this is Pointless,

so we're after the obscure answers they didn't get.

To stay in the game with a chance to win our jackpot, our players have to score as few points as they can.

What everyone's trying to do, of course, is find a pointless answer -

an answer that none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Now, David and Jane won the jackpot last time,

so today's jackpot starts off at £1,000.

APPLAUSE

Right. Let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

Now, in the first round, each of you must give me one answer, and you cannot confer with your partner.

Whichever team has the highest score at the end of the round will be eliminated.

An incorrect answer scores the maximum of 100 points, so avoid those if you can.

In this round, we'll show you two question categories.

The first category will be played on the first pass, going up the line.

The second category will be played on the second pass, coming down the line.

So, as always, it's crucial to decide who goes first

and who goes second.

So let's reveal those two categories. And we have got...

So, remember, DIY will be played on the way up in the first pass.

Cookery, on the way down in the second pass.

Decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the first DIY question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many

types of tool as they could.

Types of tool. Richard.

Yeah, the correct answers in this round will all be types of tool.

Hand tools, machine tools or power tools

used in the home, garden or workshop.

OK, thank you very much.

Now, Phil and Carol, you all drew lots before the show,

this afternoon you get to go first.

For each question, we'll give you a choice of seven possible answers on the board.

Here is your first set of seven answers. And it reads like this...

I'll read those one more time...

I can tell you at least one of those answers is pointless

and at least one is incorrect.

Pick an incorrect one and obviously you'll score the maximum of 100 points.

-So, then, Phil.

-It's not looking pretty.

So I'm going to have to take a punt

and I'm going to have to go with adze.

-Is that how it's pronounced?

-Let's say "adz".

-Come on, you want to work in the ads!

-Yes.

This ought to be right up your street. OK, well done, Phil. You're saying adze.

Let's see if it's right and how many people said it if so. Good luck.

It's right! Very well done, Phil.

-Very well done indeed. 2 points.

-APPLAUSE

2 for adze.

Well done, Phil. Very good start. It's a type of axe with a curved blade at right angles to the handle.

-It's used for shaping wood, that sort of thing. You know that.

-Yeah.

-Yeah!

Very good. Now, Phil, we are looking for tools.

Yeah. Um... There's a few up there that are pretty common, I think.

Quite a few I've never heard of before.

So, I'm going to go for one of the ones I've heard for

and I'm going to say bradawl.

Bradawl. There it is. Bradawl. Do you know what it is, a bradawl?

It's a small boring tool, I think, for...

It's not that boring. Probably quite exciting. OK. Bradawl.

Let's see if it's right and, if it is, how many people said it. Good luck.

Down it goes. 8!

APPLAUSE

Very well done, Phil. Another nice low score for bradawl.

Well done. There's no other way of putting it. It is a little boring tool.

A bradawl is different to an awl because the tip is kind of bevelled.

It makes little holes in things.

Very good. Ryan, We're looking for types of tool. What do you think?

I'm going to go for the one I know which I think is going to be

the least common, and I'm going to play chisel.

OK, chisel. Let's see if chisel's right

and, if it is, let's see how many people said chisel.

It's right.

-35, Ryan.

-APPLAUSE

35 for chisel.

Yeah, chisel - it's a cutting tool usually used with a hammer or mallet.

-Now then, Tom.

-Yes.

-Types of tool. You're the last person to have this selection,

so you can talk us through the board, if you like.

Well, the sad thing is, the ones that I do know

- and I know nearly all of those - have gone.

So I'm either going to have to take a punt, a guess,

or play it relatively safe and stay in the game.

Well, I tell you what, there is at least one pointless answer on that board.

I'm going to play it safe and say jigsaw.

You're going for jigsaw. Let's see if it's right

and, if it is, let's see how many people said jigsaw. Good luck.

Well, it's right.

11! Well, there you are.

APPLAUSE

That scores you 11.

Yeah, it's a saw used for cutting irregular patterns, the jigsaw.

It's what the jigsaw puzzle is named after - a puzzle made by a jigsaw.

Let's look at the other answers. Screwdriver is the one everyone's avoiding.

It would have scored a very hefty 89 points.

And of those last two, one of those is pointless, one is incorrect.

-What do you think?

-Mattock is the pointless one.

Mattock is pointless. Well done if you said that. It's an early sort of hoe.

And Burrell is... Stanley Burrell is the real name of MC Hammer.

LAUGHTER So, it's an incorrect answer.

Thanks. We're halfway through the round, so let's look at the scores.

Phil P, that was a brilliant answer from you. 2.

There you are, deservedly at the bottom of the heap,

or top of the heap, if you see what I mean.

And then Phil H, another good answer for you on 8.

Then up to 11 for Tom and Darren.

And then way out in front, Ryan and Mandy with 35.

OK. Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

For the second pass, the category is Cookery.

Let's see what that Cookery question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many

ways to cook or serve eggs as they could.

Yeah, nothing to add there. The correct answers in this round just ways to cook or to serve eggs.

Brilliant. As with the first pass, we're going to give you a choice of seven possible answers on the board.

Your set of seven answers for Cookery goes like this...

I'll read those one more time...

Again, I can tell you that at least one of those answers is pointless

and at least one of those answers is incorrect,

so try and avoid those if you possibly can.

Now, then, Darren, you are on 11.

The high scorers are Mandy and Ryan on 35.

If you can score 23 or less, you are through to the next round.

We're looking for ways to cook or serve eggs. You're trying to find

the one the fewest of our 100 people said.

I do like eggs, but I usually only cook them one way which is up there,

but I think it's probably the most popular one.

Eh, bit of a guess, I'm going to go with Benedict.

Benedict. OK, you're saying Benedict. Here's your red line.

If you get below that red line with Eggs Benedict,

you are through to the next round.

Good luck. Is it right? How many people said Benedict?

Yup, you've done it. Very well done.

-15.

-APPLAUSE

15 takes your total up to 26.

-You are through to the next round. Richard.

-Well played.

Yeah, served on a muffin with hollandaise sauce

and either ham or bacon.

Mandy, you are the high scorers on 35.

You have to score as low as you possibly can.

-We're looking for ways to cook or serve eggs. What are you thinking?

-A couple of definites.

I've got no idea, so I'm just going to go wild and go for

- I can't even say it - Bourbonnais.

-Bourbonnais?

-Bourbonnais! There it is. Bourbonnais, at the top.

Very well done, Mandy. That's the spirit.

Bourbonnais, you say. Let's see if it's right.

If it is, let's see how many people said Bourbonnais.

Oh, Mandy! That's so unfair!

-Oh, he can kick me now.

-Oh, dear, oh, dear.

I'm afraid that's incorrect.

You score the maximum of 100 points to take your total

-up to an unassailable 135, I'm afraid to say. Richard.

-Yeah, sorry, Mandy.

Not an egg, it's a chicken.

-It's a type of chicken from France.

-What came first?

Well, I tell you now, the chicken came last.

LAUGHTER

Now then, Mick. You are on 8.

The highest scorers on 135 are Mandy and Ryan.

You won't overtake their high score.

Let's find some pointless answers.

Well, I'm glad I was on third as I was going to have

Benedict first, and my second choice was going to be Bourbonnais.

So I'm quite pleased I'm third. So I shall go for en cocotte.

En cocotte. There it is, fourth one down. En cocotte.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, how many said it.

Obviously no red line for you cos you're already through to the next round. En cocotte.

Mmh, it's right.

-Very well done.

-APPLAUSE

That's a great answer, Mick,

and a nice, low score for you.

That scores 3, taking your total up to 11.

Lots of different versions, but it's pouring an egg over a base

that involves usually onions and mushrooms.

Put it in a ramekin, put it in a bain-marie, lovely. Eggs en cocotte.

Lovely. Now then, Carol.

There's at least one pointless answer.

It doesn't matter what you score.

There's no shame in taking a risk and scoring 100.

Well, I...

We know poached, we know sunny side up,

I think a la Florentine is with spinach

and maybe also with hollandaise sauce.

I've got no idea what Creole would be.

I'm going to go for a la Florentine.

A la Florentine you say.

Let's see if a la Florentine is right. If it is, let's see how many people said it. Good luck.

Oh! 1 point.

-Very well done, Carol.

-APPLAUSE

The lowest score of the whole round.

-Takes your total up to 3.

-Yeah, 3 points between them.

That's a team to be reckoned with. You were right. It's with spinach, but usually a Mornay sauce,

rather than hollandaise. But I won't penalise you for that.

Just remind us what a Mornay sauce is, will you?

A Mornay sauce has cheese in it, doesn't it?

Yes?

Is that... Yes.

Usually gruyere or parmesan. Now, let's look at the rest of the board.

-It is!

-Good.

-Poached egg,

which is obviously the basis of a la Florentine but also Eggs Benedict.

That would have scored you 91 points.

Very big score. Sunny side up is a way of cooking a fried egg.

It would have scored you 7 points. And Creole is the pointless answer.

That's a boiled egg cooked in various different things.

-Very well done if you said Creole at home.

-Very good.

I'm amazed. Sunny side up. You should have gone for that, Mandy.

I know. Crazy.

-I might as well go out with a bang.

-You've gone out with a bang.

That's true. Thanks very much, Richard.

At the end of Round One, the losing pair with the highest score is Mandy and Ryan.

-There's no getting away from it.

-We're not very good, are we?

Listen, Mandy, you did exactly the right thing.

In Pointless, you have to go out right to the edge of the ice.

-Yeah, but sunny side up.

-Only 7. I know, it's madness.

And, to be fair, you would have lost anyway.

Yeah, because of his rubbish chisel answer.

-It's swings and roundabouts, isn't it?

-It is. Very much.

Well, thank you very much, Mandy and Ryan.

It's a shame not to have seen more of you.

You've been brilliant contestants. Lovely having you. Thanks.

APPLAUSE

-But, for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

-APPLAUSE

Only two pairs can play in the head-to-head,

so one team is going to be leaving us at the end of this round.

OK, our category for Round Two this afternoon is...Theatre.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

OK, and whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

Splendid.

Our Round Two question concerns...

Famous plays and their playwrights.

Famous plays and their playwrights. Richard.

We'll show a list of six plays on each pass.

We asked 100 people which British-born playwright wrote those plays.

If you give an obscure answer, you'll score fewer points. If you give a wrong answer, you'll score 100.

There's going to be 12 plays in all. 12 playwrights to guess.

-Very best of luck.

-OK, thank you very much, Richard.

We're looking for the British playwrights who wrote these plays. We have got...

I'll read those one more time...

-There we are. There the six plays. Now, Carol.

-Em...

I'm going to go for The History Boys,

-Alan Bennett.

-The History Boys, Alan Bennett, you're saying.

OK, well, let's see if that's right and, if it is, let's see how many people knew that answer.

It's right.

8! Very well done.

APPLAUSE

A single-figure score. 8 for The History Boys, Alan Bennett.

Yeah, well played, Carol.

He won both an Olivier Award and a Tony Award for best play.

-Turned into a film as well.

-Very good indeed. Now then, Mick.

There is an obvious one,

and I suppose there's one slightly less obvious

and, I'm afraid, that's the one I've got to go for.

-JM Barrie wrote Peter Pan.

-JM Barrie, Peter Pan, says Mick.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, let's see how many people knew that answer.

It's right.

-27.

-APPLAUSE

That's not terrible, though.

-27 for Peter Pan.

-Well done. Quite a surprisingly low score, isn't it?

First appeared in a novel called The Little White Bird, Peter Pan, before JM Barrie put him in the play.

OK. Tom. You are the last person to have this list.

So, if you like, you can

talk us through it and fill in the blanks.

Em... I think there's only one on there

which I could really have a go at.

Obviously, I think it's going to be relatively high.

And that's Much To Do About Nothing by William Shakespeare.

Much Ado About Nothing, William Shakespeare, you are saying. Well, let's see if that's right

and, if it is, let's see how many people knew that answer. Much Ado About Nothing, William Shakespeare.

Good luck, Tom.

-Wow.

-APPLAUSE

55.

Well, you got off pretty lightly there, I'd say. 55.

I would say so, yeah.

Shall we have a minute's silence for the fact that 45 people

don't know Much Ado About Nothing's by Shakespeare?

SNIGGERS

Oh! We've had Spice Girls singles score higher than that, I think, in our time.

-Yeah...

-Let's fill in the rest of the board, though.

I suspect you might be quite good at this. An Inspector Calls?

-JB Priestley.

-Exactly right.

Would have scored 6 points. Abigail's Party?

-Is Mike Leigh.

-Exactly right. 3 points.

And there's a pointless answer up there, Beautiful Thing.

If anyone knows that at home, well done. Do you know that one?

-Jonathan Harvey.

-Jonathan Harvey, exactly right. Pointless answer.

Very well done if you got that.

Thanks, Richard. We are halfway through the round, so let's take a look at the score.

Carol and Phil, brilliant

low score there. 8 points.

Looking very strong for the head-to-head.

Then we go up to Mick and Phil H on 27.

And then we go up quite a leap to Tom and Darren on 55,

so, yes, Darren, you have a bit of a mountain to climb on this second pass.

OK. Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK. We're going to put six more plays on the board.

And here they are. We have got...

I'll read those one more time...

Remember, we are looking for the playwrights who wrote these plays, and you're trying to find

the one that the fewest of our 100 people knew.

Darren, you're the high scorers on 55.

Nothing for it, but to try and find the most obscure answer you can.

I think it's going to get even higher

as I don't recognise any of them.

It's probably my weakest subject you could have possibly picked.

Genuinely no idea. I'm just going to guess

Shakespeare again for Edward II.

OK. Edward II, Shakespeare, you are saying.

Let's see if that's right

and, if it is, let's see how many people knew that answer.

There's no red line for you, obviously, as you are the highest scorers.

Edward II, Shakespeare, says Darren.

Bad luck.

I'm afraid that's incorrect, scoring the maximum of 100 points.

That takes you out of everyone else's reach to 155. Richard.

Sorry, Darren. I won't give you the right answer just in case either of the Phils want to have a go at that.

Phil H. You are through to the head-to-head.

Even if you score 100 points, you won't overtake Darren and Tom on 155.

There is one that I know. But it's obvious.

But I'm going to say

The Mousetrap, Agatha Christie.

The Mousetrap, Agatha Christie.

No red line for you, you're already through.

Let's see how many people knew that answer.

It's right.

-34.

-APPLAUSE

34, which adds to your 27 and takes your total up to 61. Richard.

Yeah, well done, Phil. It's been on in London's West End since 1952.

Um, so then, Phil, we come to you.

Phil P. You're the last person to have this board,

so feel free to mop up.

My summary of this board isn't going to be great.

The only one I knew was The Mousetrap,

but only as I was dragged to it.

I haven't even heard of these other plays.

Em, so I'm going to have to go with

A Chorus of Disapproval, and that was by Gordon Taylor.

RICHARD LAUGHS

A Chorus of Disapproval

by Gordon Taylor. Let's see if that's right.

And, if it is, let's see how many people said Gordon Taylor.

No! Bad luck, Phil P.

Unfortunately that's wrong, as you may have suspected.

It scores the maximum of 100 points,

taking your total to 108. But you're through to the head-to-head,

so it doesn't matter. Richard.

One of my favourite wrong answers. Gordon Taylor - where did you get that from? I like it.

A Chorus of Disapproval is actually by Alan Ayckbourn. It would have scored you 5 points.

Alexander, I might test you again.

-Go on, then.

-Blythe Spirit?

-Noel Coward.

-Yeah. Would have scored you 11.

-Shirley Valentine?

-Willy Russell.

-Absolutely right. Would have scored you 6. Birthday Party?

-Harold Pinter.

Yeah. Would have scored 4. Now, Edward II is a pointless answer.

-Do you know Edward II?

-I don't know, I don't know.

Christopher Marlowe.

Very well done if you said Marlowe at home.

OK, thank you, Richard. So, at the end of Round Two,

the losing pair with the highest score, it's Tom and Darren -

I'm sorry to say. that was a very tough round for you, wasn't it?

Unfortunate with the questions. Not really into theatre.

Don't read a lot, so it was a big struggle for me.

It was one of the subjects which I was hoping wouldn't come up,

but that's the way it happens.

I'm afraid this is where we say goodbye. It's been great having you.

-Thank you for coming along and playing. Great contestants.

-APPLAUSE

For the remaining pairs, things get exciting as we enter the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Very well done, Mick and Phil, Phil and Carol. You're through to the head-to-head.

Obviously, only one pair can make it through to play for the jackpot,

which currently stands at £1,000.

APPLAUSE

For each question, each pair needs to give me just one answer.

You are now allowed to confer.

All you have to do is come up with an answer

that scores less than the other pair and you will win that question.

The first pair to win two questions will play for today's jackpot. Let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

Here's your first question.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many

Chas & Dave UK Top 40 hits as they could. Richard.

Yeah, we're looking for any single released by Chas & Dave

or which had them as a named featured artist which has reached the UK Top 40, prior to May 2011, please.

Thank you very much, Richard. Now then, Mick and Phil,

you have played best throughout the show so far, so you get to go first.

-OK.

-OK, Phil.

We're going to have to apologise for the pronunciation,

but we're going to go for Gertcha.

Gertcha.

-Gertcha.

-Gertcha, cowson.

All right. Mick and Phil have gone for Gertcha.

Phil and Carol, should you need to confer any further, you can do it out loud now.

-I don't think we need to confer.

-We've got no idea.

-I did see them play the other year.

-Did you?

-No, but I wasn't listening. Luckily, I wasn't listening.

-Oh, Phil!

-Can you not remember any words?

-I'm confusing them with Right Said Fred.

-I mean...

-LAUGHTER

Oh, imagine Chas & Dave playing shirtless!

LAUGHTER

-Oh, my goodness. I think this is probably some Edwardian pub song. Roll Out The Barrel?

-Go for it.

Roll Out The Barrel.

Roll Out The Barrel. It's not a bad suggestion at all.

We have Gertcha from Mick and Phil

and we have Roll Out The Barrel from Phil and Carol.

Mick and Phil, let's see. Gertcha.

Is it right? How many people said it?

Yup, it's right.

Go on, go on.

-Very well done.

-APPLAUSE

12.

Particularly well chosen Chas & Dave number there, if I may say.

Phil and carol have gone for Roll Out The Barrel. Let's see if that's right and,

if it is, let's see how many people said Roll Out The Barrel.

Bad luck, bad luck, but well tried. I'm afraid an incorrect answer,

which means that, after one question, Mick and Phil are up 1-0. Richard.

Not a bad guess. They did a version of Roll Out The Barrel on an album.

-Of course they did.

-But not one of their famous singles, I'm afraid.

Let's take a look at their five UK Top 40 hits.

Stars Over 45 was a pointless answer.

-Ain't No Pleasing You, which got to number two.

-Can I put my hand up and say I love that song?

-It's a brilliant song.

-It's one of my favourite songs.

An absolute non-novelty song, just a straightforward brilliant song. Gertcha, less so.

But, you know, still a nice song. 12 points.

Snooker Loopy, which was the Matchroom Mob featuring Chas & Dave.

-Can I put my hand up and say I love... No, I'm sorry, I'm joking.

-LAUGHTER

And Rabbit, right at the top there. 53 points.

There's nearly as many people know Chas & Dave did Rabbit

as know William Shakespeare did Much Ado About Nothing.

LAUGHTER

OK, now. Here is your second question.

Phil and Carol, you have to win this question to stay in the game.

Very, very best of luck. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many

European countries with a monarch as they could.

-Richard.

-Yeah, we're looking for any European country

that has a reigning monarch as of April 2011. As always, by country,

we mean a member of the UN that's a sovereign state in its own right.

OK. Now then, Phil and Carol, you go first this time.

-Em... we're going to go for Sweden.

-OK, Sweden. Mick and Phil?

You've said Sweden, haven't you?

So we'll go for Norway.

OK, you're saying Norway. We have Sweden, we have Norway.

In the order they were given,

Phil and Carol said Sweden. Let's see if that's right.

It's right!

-30.

-APPLAUSE

30.

Mick and Phil are saying Norway.

Is it right? How many people said it?

It's right.

Come on!

-Oh!

-APPLAUSE

Well done, Phil and Carol. That's exactly what you needed to do.

Brilliant answer there.

30, Sweden, wins it for you - just.

-So, after two questions, it's 1-1. Richard.

-Well played.

Let's look at all European countries with a monarchs.

There's Lichtenstein and Andorra. Both scored 2.

Well done if you said either of those.

Luxembourg and Belgium on 12. Sweden 30.

Netherlands, 31, alongside Norway - also 31. Then Denmark, 32.

Monaco, 41. Spain, 61. And the UK, 90.

Thanks very much, Richard. OK, here is your third question.

Whoever wins this question goes through to the final. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many

Conservative Michaels in Government as they could.

Conservative Michaels. Richard.

Looking for any Conservative politician called Michael or commonly known as Michael who's held

any Cabinet post from 1979 right through to April 2011, please.

OK, Mick and Phil go first this time.

OK. We're going to go for somebody who's actually in government now.

And we're going to say Michael Cove.

-Gove!

-Gove, sorry.

Michael Gove, say Mick and Phil. So, Phil and Carol?

I think we're going to have to go with Michael Howard.

Michael Howard, you're saying.

So, we have Michael Gove, we have Michael Howard. Mick and Phil.

You've gone for Michael Gove.

Whoever wins this question is through to the final.

Michael Gove. Is it right and, if it is, how many people said him?

Yup. It's right.

Go on!

-Very well done.

-APPLAUSE

15 for Michael Gove.

Phil and Carol have gone for Michael Howard.

Let's see if he's right

and, if he is, let's see how many people said Michael Howard.

It's right.

-21!

-APPLAUSE

Very well done, Mick and Phil. Michael Gove, 15.

So, after three questions, Mick and Phil are through to the final, 2-1. Richard.

Well played, guys. Well played, both teams. Really good head-to-head.

There were three killer answers that would have beaten even Michael Gove. Let's take a look at them.

Michael Jopling, now Baron Jopling, was chief whip under Thatcher.

Lord Havers, who was Attorney General and Lord Chancellor under Thatcher.

Both were pointless. Well done if you said either of them.

Michael Forsyth, John Major's Scottish Secretary, scored 2.

There's Michael Gove, Cameron's first Education Secretary, 15.

Michael Howard, 21. Michael Portillo, 41.

And Heseltine was actually right at the top of the list with 48.

OK, thank you very much, Richard. So, the losing pair

at the end of the head-to-head, I'm afraid, Phil and Carol.

But the good news is we will see you again next time

when I hope we see you go through to the final. Meanwhile, thanks so much for playing.

-Phil and Carol, brilliant contestants.

-APPLAUSE

For Phil and Mick, it's time for our Pointless final

and the chance to win our jackpot of £1,000.

APPLAUSE

Congratulations, Mick and Phil.

You have fought off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

APPLAUSE

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

And, at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £1,000. There it is.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

The rules are simple. To win that money, just find a pointless answer -

an answer none of our 100 people could think of. We've had no pointless answers today.

You only have to find one now and you go home with that money. First, choose a category.

And you can choose from these three options. They are...

Acting dames are not necessarily film-stars,

which would be your forte.

Well, I don't know. Singer-songwriters?

Sportsmen - I don't like the look of sportsmen. I reckon acting dames.

-Go on. Yes, I'm game...for a dame.

-Singer-songwriters?

-What do you think?

-No. We'll go for acting dames.

Acting dames, very good. Let's find out what the question is.

-We gave 100 people...

-Can we change our minds after?

-No!

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many

Helen Mirren films as they could. Helen Mirren films. Richard.

We're looking for any film made for cinema release for which

Helen Mirren has received an acting credit, prior to May 2011.

No short films, TV films or documentaries,

but voice performances do count.

OK. You now have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

And all you need to win that £1,000 is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

Your 60 seconds start now.

-Right...

-The Long Good Friday.

-Yeah, pretty obvious.

-Oh, is it?

If we go recently, she's just done that one with Bruce Willis called Red.

Oh, yes, she has.

If we go back a few years, there was that Peter Greenaway film,

em, The Cook, The Thief, The Wife and Her Lover.

-I like that one.

-You like the film?

-No, the idea!

-That one, Red.

Another Helen Mirren film. Wasn't she in Caligula?

-Wasn't she in the original Caligula with Malcolm McDowell?

-Ah, was that on telly, though?

No, no, no. It was a feature film. It was banned for ages, wasn't it?

-So, shall we go for The Cook, The Thief, Caligula and Red?

-Yeah.

-Yeah?

-Them three? OK.

-You've got your three? We're going to stop the clock.

You've got three answers. We were looking for Helen Mirren films.

-OK, we're going to for Red.

-Red.

-Caligula.

-Caligula.

The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover.

-The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover.

-Yeah.

-OK, of those three, which do you think is the best?

-That one.

The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover.

-We'll put that one last.

-OK.

We think Red will be most popular as it's the most recent.

-Go for Caligula in the middle.

-And Caligula in the middle.

-Yeah.

OK. Let's put them up on the board in that order. And here they are...

OK. We were looking for Helen Mirren films.

You said this was your least confident answer.

Remember, you only have to find one pointless to win that £1,000 jackpot.

So, let's see. Red, you've said. Let's see if that's right.

And, if it is, let's see how many people said it.

Very best of luck. Red.

It's right. That was the first thing it had to be.

The second thing it has to be is pointless.

We will discover how much our 100 people

know about Helen Mirren films here.

-Down it goes. 12!

-APPLAUSE

Not bad at all. You put that first. You said that was the one that...

-That's not bad for the least confident.

-Exactly. There you are.

-12 - it's a great starting point.

-OK.

-Unfortunately therefore not a pointless answer.

You only have two more chances to win today's jackpot of £1,000.

What would you do with £1,000?

I think I would take my wife out and probably the family as well

and have a good slap-up night out.

-Fantastic.

-I'd save mine cos I'm part of that family.

I'd expect him to treat me with his share of it and I'd keep mine.

I don't know - spend it on crisps and sweets or something.

I know that he would help me out.

Very good. Oh, I hope, I really hope, you get to do that.

We are looking for Helen Mirren films.

Let's hope nobody said your next answer. This has to be pointless - Caligula.

If you are to win that £1,000, Caligula has to be right and pointless.

Let's see, for £1,000, how many people said Caligula.

Well, it also is right.

Your first answer, Red, quite a recent film.

Caligula - let's see how far this goes down. Still going down.

Single figures. Down it goes!

-Oh! Very well done.

-APPLAUSE

2.

-It's an improvement, isn't it?

-I tell you what, this is all going in the right direction. Fantastic.

Right, OK. Your last chance.

The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover.

We're looking for Helen Mirren films.

You said this was your most confident answer.

-I think it's the less well-known of the three, I would have thought.

-I'd never heard of it!

-So I live in hopes now!

-Fantastic. Exactly.

-I mean, Caligula - there are all sorts of reasons why people might remember Caligula.

-Yes. Yeah.

This has to be pointless. Your last chance to win the jackpot.

The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover. Is it right

and, if it is, let's see how many people said it? Very best of luck, Mick and Phil.

It's right! It's right.

So, we've come from 18 on Red, down to 2 for Caligula.

Let's see how far this could go.

If this goes all the way down to 0, you leave here with £1,000.

Oh, no!

APPLAUSE

Oh, ho, ho!

Oh, dear, oh, dear.

Unfortunately, you didn't manage to find that all-important pointless answer, so I'm afraid you don't win

today's jackpot which rolls over onto the next show. You have been really brilliant contestants.

-And you do get to take home our Pointless trophy, of course.

-APPLAUSE

Very well done. Richard.

Guys, I'm so sorry. You've been so good throughout. Brilliant answers. You've been such fun as well.

It's about to get a tiny bit worse as well.

The very first thing you said when this came up - Mick you said...

-Oh, no, don't tell me that was 0.

-You said The Long Good Friday.

Phil, you said, "No, no, no, that's too obvious."

It was a pointless answer. It would have won you the jackpot.

-Let's take a look at some of the other pointless answers as well.

-I shan't say anything to him.

Eh, 2010, which was a sci-fi thriller from 1984 about

how unbelievably modern 2010 would be.

A Midsummer Night's Dream, which was a film version of a play by a little known

English playwright named William Shakespeare. William Shakespeare. LAUGHTER

Mosquito Coast with Harrison Ford, that was pointless.

The Long Good Friday - there it is.

That, of course, was about Bob Hoskins trying to redevelop

-the docklands as a site for a future Olympic Games.

-He was.

Probably a more accurate reflection of 2010 than the original film.

The Madness of King George - she played George's wife, Queen Charlotte.

And she was the Queen of Egypt in The Prince Of Egypt as well.

Guys, really bad luck. You played so terrifically. Great answers in this round as well. Really bad luck.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

-Oh, dear, oh, dear.

-That's hard, isn't it? You said that.

-Yeah.

I over-ruled him. Well, I didn't really over-rule you, did I?

-Well, you did, really.

-I think you sort of talked yourself out of it.

I shan't say a word to him.

I'm sure you'll be as good as your word, Mick.

He'll just have to wait with his two brothers when they read the will.

LAUGHTER AND GROANING

HE LAUGHS

Yeah... Well, you've done incredibly well.

Unfortunately we have to say goodbye to you. But it's been such a pleasure having you on the show.

-You've been brilliant contestants. Thank you both for playing.

-Thanks.

-APPLAUSE

Nobody's won our jackpot today, so it rolls over,

-which means on the next show we will be playing for £2,000.

-APPLAUSE

-Join us then to see if someone can win it. It's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

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