Episode 10 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong, and welcome to Pointless,

the quiz show that puts obscure knowledge to the test.

Let's meet today's players.

First off, we welcome back Darren and Caroline.

You were on last time. Everyone gets two chances to reach the final.

This is your second chance. Remind us what happened.

Unfortunately, we went out on a sport question,

for teams that were in the Commonwealth Games.

-That was Round One.

-Yes.

-It was a very early exit for you.

Caroline, what's going to be a good subject for you?

I want celebrities or TV and Films.

Do you have any particular favourite films? Any types of film you love?

-Sci-fi. Aliens is one of my favourite films.

-Oh, that's good!

People who say that know what they're talking about. Caroline,

you're shaking your head. He doesn't know.

No, I don't think I've ever seen him watch it.

Really? What would you hate to see come up?

-Geography, history, politics, presidents. None of that.

-OK.

You do know you're on a quiz show, Caroline, don't you?

Great to have you on the show. Welcome back.

Let's hope we see more of you than we did last time.

Next, Gavin and Heather. How do you two know each other?

We met on an Internet dating website, and I paid £20 for him.

20 quid well spent, Heather?

-Oh, definitely, best £20 I ever spent.

-So she says.

-Where are you from, Gavin?

-We're from Glasgow.

-And what do you do?

-I'm a recently retired police officer

after doing 30 years in Strathclyde Police.

-Wow, 30 years in Glasgow.

-Yeah, 30 years.

Well, welcome to the show. Great to have you here. Best of luck.

Next, we welcome back Pauline and Rachel.

You were on last time. Remind us how you two know each other.

We used to go to the same church until Pauline moved,

and now we're theatre-going companions.

We haunt Chichester Festival Theatre, mainly.

What are you hoping's going to come up?

Obviously theatre would be great for you.

-What other subjects, Pauline, are good?

-I'm a dog lover,

-so I would like dogs.

-OK, dogs. Rachel?

History, geography...the things that Caroline doesn't want, I would like.

-And all the things she would like...

-She can keep?

..will make me go green. Exactly!

Fantastic, well welcome back.

Very best of luck this afternoon. And finally we've got Jay and Rob.

-How do you two know each other?

-We were thrown together

at the start of university. We had to get along in our flat together.

-We've been friends ever since.

-You were hurled into a flat?

We were indeed.

-What are you reading, Rob?

-I'm doing Physics, myself.

Jay, how about you?

-English Lit.

-So, what do you hope is going to come up, Jay?

Films, music, preferably not literature cos I'll probably

-make a fool of myself.

-You never know. You could be well equipped.

-No, probably not.

-Anything you'd absolutely hate to see come up?

-Fashion, geography...

-Art.

..biology as well. If biology comes up, we might as well leave.

-Art, yeah.

-Let's hope none of these things come up, Jay and Rob.

We'll find out more about all of you throughout the show.

There's only one person left. A man who even has obscure dance moves.

-He is my pointless friend. He's Richard.

-Hiya.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

-Afternoon.

-Good afternoon to you. How are you?

-I'm very well. Are you well?

-Extremely well.

Two returning pairs today.

Pauline and Rachel got to the head-to-head last time,

up against Rolf and David who are among the best contestants

we've ever had. So it was a tough head-to-head.

That was a stealth raid! It was almost sinister.

-It was, wasn't it?

-They came in, swish-swish, trophy, off!

-Like Keyser Soze, aren't they?

-Keyser Rolf and Dave Soze!

But there should be some competition today,

and Gavin, 30 years in Strathclyde Police.

That's got to make you the hardest person

that's ever appeared on Pointless. That's a tough job, isn't it?

Did you have the pony tail?

Funnily enough, no, but I started growing it the day I left.

It should be a great show. Bad news for Jay in Round Two, I'm afraid.

-Not literature!

-Little bit of literature. Little bit.

Well, the truth will out. Thank you very much, Richard.

Now, all our questions have been put to 100 people before the show.

We are looking for obscure answers.

To stay in the game, all our players need to do

is score as few points as they can.

What everyone's trying to do is find a pointless answer

that none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Rolf and David won the jackpot last time,

so today's jackpot starts off at £1,000.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

OK, let's play Pointless.

Now, in the first round each of you must give me one answer

and you cannot confer with your partner.

The pair with the highest score at the end of the round will be eliminated.

If you give me an incorrect answer you will score

the maximum of 100 points so do try to avoid those.

OK, our first category this afternoon is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who'll go first, who'll go second.

And whoever's going first please step up to the podium.

OK, our Round One question this afternoon concerns...

Yeah, each Eurozone country is allowed to have its own

national symbol on the backs of its one euro coins.

We're going to show you a list of seven of those symbols.

You have to tell us which country you would find that on their euro coin.

More obscure ones will score fewer points,

give us an incorrect answer and you'll score 100 points.

There'll be two lists so 14 in all to get at home.

OK, thanks very much, Darren and Caroline, you all drew lots

before the show and this afternoon you are going first.

So very best of luck, Caroline.

We are looking for the countries that have these

symbols on their one euro coins,

and we have got...

I'll read those one more time.

So there we are, Caroline. It's all in your hands.

OK.

It's a bit like geography, isn't it? Places, I suppose.

So I'm going to have to go for the obvious answer on the board,

sorry, Darren.

A Celtic harp.

And Ireland.

OK, a Celtic harp, Ireland.

As ever on Pointless you're hoping to pick the one that

the fewest people knew.

Let's see if that's right, Celtic harp, Ireland

and if it how many people said it.

It's right.

79.

It's not bad...

it's 21 better than 100.

79, Richard for the Celtic harp.

Yeah, the clairseach or Celtic harp is on the back of all

the Republic of Ireland euro coins.

Apologies for my pronunciation.

Clairseach is about as close as I can get.

Clairseach. Now then, Gavin.

There's one that I'd like to go for,

but it's just a little bit too far down the line for me

to guess at so I'm going to have a go at Mozart and Austria.

Mozart, Austria, says Gavin.

If it's right, how many people said it? Mozart, Austria.

It's right.

And down it goes to 43.

A good answer.

APPLAUSE

A good answer. Mozart.

Chosen by a national poll in Austria.

Mozart. Born in Salzburg.

Very well done, Gavin.

I have a feeling we've had the two straws...well,

there's a couple more straws for people to grasp at I think.

But one by one the safe answers are being removed from the board.

Rachel, we come to you.

We're looking for the countries that have these symbols on their one euro coin.

I'm going to have to go with that straw, I think,

and say "Liberte, egalite, fraternite" is France.

France, says Rachel for "Liberte, egalite, fraternite".

Let's see if that's right and if it is how many people knew that answer?

It's right.

59.

Not a bad score.

France, Richard.

Yes, "Liberte, egalite, fraternite" surrounding a tree,

that's on the French one euro coin.

Now, Rob, we are looking for the Eurozone countries that had

these symbols on their one euro coins when first issued.

There's only one left that I can kind of go for and that's

an eagle which is Germany, I think.

Eagle, Germany, says Rob. Let's see if that's right

and if it is let's see how many people knew that answer.

Well done, Rob, good answer.

And...what do you know, the lowest score so far!

10, that's wonderful!

10, that was good cos you were kind of forced into taking a risk there.

Otherwise you might have been tempted to go for something else.

When it came up I thought Germany, but, yeah, that's good.

How many heads does the eagle have on the coin?

Shall we put it to the oracle?

-I would guess one.

-OK, one.

How many heads on the German eagle?

It's got 40.

LAUGHTER

Can you believe that? It's an enormous coin.

Absolutely enormous, which in turn means that German

vending machines are just extraordinary sizes.

So 10, it's actually the best answer we've had in the round,

not the best answer on the board though.

It's got one head, really. You're quite right.

It's just in case people really did think there were 40 heads on there.

There aren't.

An owl and an olive branch...

-Went to sea?

-And where did they go?

-They went to Greece.

-Oh. Olive branch.

Yeah, 3 points that would've scored you.

Two flying whooper swans...

-What do you think that is, it's the national bird of this country.

-Croatia.

Ohhhh, Finland.

But one point so well done if you said that

and there's a pointless answer up there as well. I can't believe no-one...

-You'll know this one, Xander.

-Primoz Trubar?

Protestant reformer Primoz Trubar is of course on the one Euro coin of...

Dunno.

Slovenia.

Everybody at home knew it, they're shouting at their TV sets.

But that's a pointless answer so very well done if you said that at home.

Especially if you don't come from Slovenia, very impressive.

Very good. Well, we're halfway through the round

so let's take a look at those scores.

Very well done, Rob and Jay,

fantastic low score there, 10.

Then we come up to 43, quite a step up to Gavin and Heather.

Then Rachel and Pauline on 59

then up to 79 where we find Caroline and Darren,

so Darren, I have every confidence in you.

A nice obscure answer that will see you through to the next round.

We're going to come back down the line.

Could the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK, we're going to put seven more clues on the board as to what

is on the back of these countries' one euro coins and they are...

I'll read those all one more time.

Now remember, we are looking for the countries that have these

symbols on their one euro coin.

Obviously, Jay, you're trying to find the one fewest of our 100 people knew.

The highest scorers are Darren and Caroline on 79.

You're on 10.

If you can score 68 or less,

you are through to the next round.

Ooh, I'm going to go for King Juan Carlos I.

And I'm going to say Portugal.

Juan Carlos I, Portugal, says Jay. There is your red line.

If you get below that red line, Jay,

you're through to the next round..

OK, Juan Carlos I, is it Portugal

and if it is, how many people said it?

Ooh! Bad luck, Jay.

I knew it.

Unfortunately that's an incorrect answer, which means you scored

the maximum of 100 points - that takes your total up to 110,

but anything could happen in this pass,

so it's not all over yet.

OK. Now, then, Pauline.

You are on 59, the high scorers are now Jay and Rob on 110.

That means 50 from you, or less, will be enough

to see you through to the next round.

Right.

Well, I'm going to go with Prince Rainier and Prince Albert

and say Monaco.

Very good, Monaco says Pauline for Prince Rainier and Prince Albert.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said if it is.

It's right.

Oh-he-he-ho! Look at that, 56.

56 takes your total up to 115, well done.

-Richard.

-Yeah, those two princes appeared on the first one euro coin in Monaco.

Now it's just Prince Albert since Prince Rainier died.

Now, then, Heather. We're looking for the Eurozone countries that

have these symbols on their one euro coin.

The highest scorers are now Pauline and Rachel on 115,

you're on 43,

if you can score 71 or less, through you go to the next round.

I'll go for the bottom one, King Juan Carlos I of Spain.

Spain, you're saying for Juan Carlos, let's see if that's right

and if it is let's see how many people said it, good luck!

Spain, says Heather. Is it right?

Yep, it's right.

Oh-ho-ho! 75.

APPLAUSE

Takes your total up to 118.

Look at the grouping of these final scores, very close indeed.

Yeah, some big scores, but very, very close.

He's on the one and two euro coin,

designed by Luis Jose Diaz.

Luis Jose Diaz.

-HEAVILY ACCENTED:

-Jose Diaz.

Si.

I never know which of the letter in Spanish are meant to be "ccch",

"thhh" or "shh".

LAUGHTER

I think nor do they.

No, no they're making it up as they go along.

I think there just hhhis, ccch, just loccchs of thhha.

We don't get viewers in Spain, do we?

Not any more.

LAUGHTER

Now, then, Darren, we come to you.

The highest scorers on 118 are Gavin and Heather.

You are on 79.

If you can score a mere 38 or less,

you are through to the next round.

Erm, obviously Leonardo Da Vinci I think's going to be

a bit of a high-scoring one, which won't see me through,

but I'm going to take a punt at the eight-pointed cross which

I believe is the Maltese cross,

and I'm going to say Malta.

An eight-pointed cross, Malta, says Darren.

There's your red line, let's see if Malta gets you below that red line

if it does you stay with us for the next round. Good luck.

Malta, says Darren, is it right? How many people said it?

It is right, very well done.

And you are through to the next round.

In fact, down it goes, 6!

APPLAUSE

Fabulous answering skills there, Darren.

That takes your total up to 85,

you are in the next round. Richard.

Great work, Darren, that was your answer on the last show as well.

It was indeed, yes.

So 100% of Darren's answers on Pointless have been Malta.

I'm just going to caution against you carrying it on for the rest of the show,

just as a little note, but very, very well played.

Let's take a look at the rest of them. You were right to avoid the Da Vinci one

cos it would have knocked you out.

It's Italy, of course, would've scored you 56 points.

Queen Beatrix is The Netherlands, would've scored you 31.

An outline of the country and the word "Eesti" - Estonia.

Estonia. It's a very good answer, would've scored 7

and the prehistorical idol of Pomos, that's a pointless answer.

Very well done at home if you said Cyprus. Cyprus.

Very good, OK, well, thank you very much indeed, Richard.

At the end of Round One the losing pair with the highest score

I'm afraid to say Gavin and Heather, dear oh dear.

You didn't put a foot wrong, it's just who knew that

Juan Carlos was going to be such an expensive correct answer?

-Indeed.

-Dear, oh dear.

So listen, when we see you again next time, which we shall,

what are you going to bring back as your tactic?

-To try and get a better answer, I think!

-A better answer.

Are you going to be punchier do you think? Maybe go more obscure?

I'll try, I'll certainly try.

-But not too obscure.

-Exactly.

It's very thin ice out there on the Pointless lake.

Well, anyway Heather and Gavin, it was lovely having you here,

we look forward to seeing you again next time,

but thanks meanwhile, brilliant contestants, thank you.

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

Now obviously there's only room for two pairs in the head-to-head

so one of the teams will be leaving us at the end of this round.

OK, our category for Round Two this afternoon is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many best-selling authors

of the noughties in the UK as they could.

Yeah, we're looking for the name of any author whose combined works

sold two million or more copies between 2000 and 2009 in the UK.

Can be fiction or non-fiction,

to give you an idea, there are over 80 names on this list.

Over 80 authors whose combined works sold more than two million copies in the noughties, very best of luck.

OK, thank you very much, Richard.

Now, Caroline.

Erm, I only know one author.

Is this really true?

I don't do books.

I do like the TV guide but I don't do books.

Erm, so I'm going to have to go with a really obvious one,

everyone's going to get it.

JK Rowling.

Let's see if that's right

and if it is let's see how many people said JK Rowling.

It's right, down it goes.

Down it goes, very good. 29!

APPLAUSE

Very well done, Caroline. JK Rowling's done you proud.

-Yeah, lower than I thought.

-29, JK Rowling. Richard.

Yeah, sold 27 million books in the noughties.

That's a lot of books, isn't it?

Pauline, we're looking for authors who have sold two million

or more books in the noughties.

I think mine I was thinking of was 2010.

So I'm going to have to go for Dan Brown.

Let's see if it's right

and if it is, let's see how many people said Dan Brown.

Down it goes.

Very well done, 14!

That's a great answer, Pauline.

Richard.

Yeah, he sold a piffling 13 million, Pauline, in the noughties.

Very good. Now then, Jay.

I think I'm going to go for Terry Pratchett.

Sounds good to me. Let's see if that's right.

And if it is let's see how many people said Terry Pratchett.

It's right.

Down and down and down it goes, 9!

Very, very well done indeed, Jay.

Gratifyingly the best score

of the round so far, well done.

-9 for Terry Pratchett.

-He sold just under nine million books.

This is all according to Nielsen BookScan

so JK Rowling, 27 million got 29.

Dan Brown, 13 million got 14.

Terry Pratchett, 9 million got 9.

It correlates, absolutely.

Halfway through the round so let's look at the scores.

Jay and Rob looking very strong

with a nice low score of 9.

Then we go up a tiny squeak to Pauline and Rachel on 14

and then we go up quite substantially to 29

where we find Caroline and Darren.

So once again, Darren,

we need some really good obscure answering from you in the next pass

so you make the head-to-head.

We're going to come back down the line.

Could the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK, we're looking for best-selling authors in the UK

in the noughties and Rob,

looking very strong there, 9 is your score,

29 is the high score from Darren and Caroline

so 19 or less will ensure you a place in the head-to-head.

I'm going to say a person whose books I've never read that

I know writes loads of books and I think sells a lot

so that's James Patterson.

You're getting a good nod from Jay. That kind of nod.

OK, well here's your red line.

It's quite low but then the scores are quite low.

James Patterson, let's see if it's right

and if it is let's see how many people said James Patterson.

It's right.

It's a great answer. Very, very well done, Rob.

That scores you 5 and takes your total up to 14.

James Patterson.

Safe and sound, Rob, he's sold nearly eight million books.

I like though there was almost terror in your voice as you said the name.

But he's through now, he's through, home and dry.

Rachel, we come to you.

You're on 14, the highest scorers are still Darren and Caroline on 29.

A score of 14 or less will see you though to the head-to-head.

Remember we're looking for authors who sold more than

two million books in the noughties.

Erm, I think I'm going to go with...

..Kate Mosse.

Let's see if that's right and if it is let's see how many people said Kate Mosse.

Noooo!

Bad luck, Rachel.

A very clever answer,

but unfortunately a wrong answer which means I'm afraid,

you've scored the maximum of 100 points

that takes your total up to 114.

Richard.

A terrifically good wrong answer. Labyrinth sold over

1.5 million copies in the noughties, but not quite the two million.

Darren.

The highest scorers are now Rachel and Pauline on 114,

you are on 29.

That means a score of 84 or less will see you sailing through

to the head-to-head.

Not my strongest subject.

I don't read many books myself, I wait for the film to come out.

LAUGHTER

Erm, but I'm going to go for Tom Clancy.

OK, here is your red line coming in.

There we are, quite high.

If Tom Clancy is right and gets you below that red line,

you are through to the next round.

Let us see how many people said Tom Clancy, is it right?

Oh, bad luck, Darren.

A good guess, but as it turns out I'm afraid a wrong answer

which means your score the maximum of 100 points.

Bad luck, that takes your total up to 129.

Richard, sorry, Darren again around about the 1.5 million mark,

couldn't quite make it on to the list.

Huge amounts of pointless answers. Some big names as well. Lee Child, Lemony Snicket,

there's Nigella Lawson, Alan Titchmarsh sold more than two million copies,

Bill Bryson even is a pointless answer. Let's take a look at a few more though.

Roger Hargreaves, the originator of the Mr Men series.

Helen Fielding, the writer of Bridget Jones. William Shakespeare, heard of him?

He's an American thriller writer.

Yeah.

Julia Donaldson, the author of The Gruffalo, sold nearly seven million books in the noughties.

The wonderful Marian Keyes, Michael Morpurgo who wrote

War Horse, Private Peaceful, all sort of brilliant books.

Paul McKenna sold more than two million books, all of his self-help...

He did that brilliant book, How To Sell More Than Two Million Books.

That's right, which did very well, but only sold one copy.

Fair enough.

-Richard Parsons, do you know Richard Parsons?

-No.

He's a schoolteacher who in 1995 was fed up with the study guides

that primary and secondary school kids were getting

so set up his own study guides business,

sold millions upon million of copies.

The seventh biggest selling author of the noughties.

And Jamie Oliver as well was a pointless answer.

Very well done if you said any of those at home.

Thank you very much, Richard.

At the end of Round Two the pair with the highest score, Darren and Caroline.

I thought for a moment you'd scrape through.

Round One last time, Round Two this time,

you were just waiting for celebrities and telly.

-Yeah.

-And they didn't come.

Oh, well, that's the way it goes.

That's the way it goes.

All the same it's been great having you on the show,

thank you so much for playing, Darren and Caroline! Brilliant.

But for the remaining two pairs things are about to get

even more exciting now as we enter the head-to-head.

Well, congratulations Jay and Rob, Pauline and Rachel,

you are now only one round away from the final and the chance

to play for the jackpot which currently stands at £1,000.

-There it is.

-CHEERING

Now, obviously only one pair can play for that money and to decide

which pair you are now going to go head-to-head.

Now, for each question you'll be shown five options on the board.

Each pair needs to give me just one answer

but you are now allowed to confer.

All you have to do is score less than the other pair and you will win that question.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for the jackpot.

Let's play head-to-head.

OK, so here comes your first question and it concerns...

Richard.

We're going to show you five pictures of sporting trophies

and all you have to do is tell us for which sport is that trophy awarded.

The most obscure one will win you the point.

So let's reveal our five sporting trophies and we have got...

There they all are.

Now then, Jay and Rob, you've played best throughout the show

so far so you get to go first,

so there are your five sporting trophies,

you are wanting to name the one that the fewest of our 100 people knew.

I think I know four of them. I don't know what B is but I was thinking E.

OK then, let's go for E.

It's in your hand I know nothing about this one.

I'll say E which I think is the Rugby World Cup.

E - the Rugby World Cup says Rob and Jay.

Rugby, E. Now, Pauline and Rachel.

We're tossing up between A and C.

What do you think we ought to do, Rachel?

A? Go on then. We'll go for A, the Ashes.

-Which sport?

-BOTH: Oh, cricket!

-There we are.

-Sorry!

OK, so we have rugby and we have cricket.

Jay and Rob have said E, rugby.

Let's see if that's right and if it is let's see how many people said that. E, rugby.

Absolutely right.

There we are.

13.

Pretty good. Now, Pauline and Rachel have said cricket.

Let's see if that's right and if it is how many people said A, cricket.

It's right.

54.

54.

So that means after one question Jay and Rob are up 1-0. Richard.

The plaudits go to Rob there,

that's the Webb Ellis trophy given to the winners of the Rugby World Cup.

To go through the whole board, cricket, A, that's the Ashes of course.

B is the Drivers Championship trophy for Formula One.

Some people will definitely have got that at home,

a lot of Formula One fans and it's a pointless answer so very well done.

C is tennis.

For a movement there I thought that was the collection plate from Salisbury Cathedral but...

I might be wrong.

Would have scored you 72 points.

And D is the World Cup of course for football.

The FIFA World Cup but that would have scored 62 points

so less than tennis.

OK, thanks very much, Richard.

So your second question, Pauline and Rachel,

you have to win this question to stay in the game.

Good luck, here it comes. It concerns...

Richard.

We're going to give you five clues to facts about

the human eye and the most obscure is going to win you the points.

Thanks very much, Richard. Let's reveal the five facts about the human eye.

Here are the clues.

Let me read those through on more time.

So there are five clues to five facts about the eye.

Now, Pauline and Rachel, you go first this time.

-THEY WHISPER:

-Don't know the second, don't know the third. Iris is the fourth.

We're going to go with REM - rapid eye movement.

REM - rapid eye movement you are saying.

So then Jay and Rob,

the ONE thing you both said you didn't want was biology.

Yeah.

Hey...

And the one thing we knew was REM.

Well, we know...

Well, we're one up so we could take a gamble maybe?

We'll go for cells in the retina with "cone" cells and, what was it?

-Fovea.

-Fovea.

The cells in the retina that have "cone" cells. Fovea.

So we have Rapid Eye Movement and we have fovea.

Pauline and Rachel, rapid eye movement, is it right

and if it is how many people said rapid eye movement for REM?

56.

56.

OK, Jay and Rob, cells in the retina with "cone" cells.

Is it right, fovea, and if it is, how many people said fovea?

GASPING

Which means, after two questions you are one-all. Richard, very exciting.

There is a foveola which does contain "cone" cells

but the cells in the retina with "cone" cells are the rods.

-Would've scored you 20 points and seen you through to the final.

-It's not a very scientific name.

I mean, fovea, I'd take fovea over rods any time.

Rods?

Bit mechanical, isn't it?

-It's named after the doctor that came up with it.

-Oh, Heinrich Rods.

-No, it's Rod.

So they're always called Rod's cells.

Oh, I see.

Let's take a look at the rest of them. The coloured visible part of the eye,

that's the iris...named after Rod's wife.

Would've scored you 69 points.

Term derived from Greek for short-sightedness - myopia.

That would've scored 36 points.

And the colour perception test named after the Japanese designer,

this is the best answer on the board,

well done if you said the Ishihara test.

Ishihara, 4 points.

very good, wow, thank you very much, Richard.

So, there we are, one point apiece.

Whoever wins this next question is through to the final.

Good luck both pairs, here's your third question. And it concerns...

-Richard.

-We're going to show you the names of five Oscar winners for

Best Picture but we've left one word out of each of them.

Give us that word, please and again, the most obscure

will get you the point and see you through to the final.

Let's reveal the five Best Picture Oscar-winning films

and here they are with one word omitted.

I'll read them again.

Now then, Jay and Rob, you go first this time.

We think...well, we definitely know two of them.

And I think the one we're going to go for is one I'm not too

sure about but I think All About is All About Eve.

All About Eve from 1950, you are saying. All About Eve.

Now, Pauline and Rachel.

The only one we're confident on

that we know is right is A Man For All Seasons.

No, and I know The Hurt Locker.

Yeah.

What about Ordinary Lives?

It's not Ordinary People, is it?

I don't know, I can't help you there.

I think we're going to go for Ordinary Lives.

So we have All About Eve and Ordinary Lives.

Jay and Rob have said All About Eve.

Let's see if that's right and if it is how many people said it.

All about Eve.

It's right.

There we are 43.

Pauline and Rachel have gone for Ordinary Lives. Is it right?

How many people said it?

Oh no!

-Sorry.

-No, don't apologise.

Bad luck, Ordinary Lives, which means after three questions

Jay and Rob are through to the final 2-1.

Bad luck, Pauline and Rachel.

-Pauline, I'm so sorry you said Ordinary Lives, what was the other option?

-People.

Ordinary People.

If you had said Ordinary People, not only is it right,

-it would've scored you 31 points.

-Oh no!

Would've seen you into the final. I'm so sorry.

Robert Redford's directorial debut.

Let's take a look at the rest of the board.

A man For All Seasons would have lost you the point as well, actually a very big scorer.

Would've scored you 79.

The Hurt Locker, you're quite right 2009, Kathryn Bigelow,

the first woman to win the Best Director Oscar, unbelievably,

63 points, so again wouldn't have seen you through

and the best answer on the board is the only low-scoring answer on the board,

do you know that one?

-Emperor?

-The Last Emperor.

Exactly right, would've scored 9 points,

so very well done if you said that at home.

Very good indeed, thank you Richard.

So the losing pair at the end of the head-to-head,

I'm so sorry, Pauline and Rachel, but you've been heroic.

-Two head-to-heads on the trot, you've been exemplary.

-Thank you.

but I'm afraid this is where we have to say goodbye.

Thank you so much for playing, Pauline and Rachel, lovely contestants.

But for Jay and Rob it's now time for our Pointless Final.

Well, congratulations, Jay and Rob. You fought off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless Trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless Jackpot

and at the end of today's show the jackpot stands at £1,000.

Now, the rules are very simple.

To win that money all you have to do is find a pointless answer.

We haven't had any pointless answers on the show today

but if you find one now, you will go home with that jackpot of £1,000.

Firstly, you've got to choose a category

and you have choice of five categories to pick from.

-Wow!

-Wow.

Reality TV I might be quite good at...

I might be all right at European football but...

-I don't know.

-It depends what it is.

-Shall we go for reality TV?

-It's probably best.

OK, we'll go for reality TV.

OK, reality TV it is.

Let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many

Celebrity MasterChef contestants as they could.

Richard.

We're looking for any contestant on any series

of Celebrity MasterChef from 2006 right through to 2011 series,

but not counting the Comic Relief Specials, just the regular

series of Celebrity MasterChef.

OK. Thanks very much.

Now, you have up to one minute to come up with three answers

and all you need to win that jackpot is for just one of those

answers to be pointless.

Are you ready?

As ready as we'll ever be.

Let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

-Your time starts now.

-Right.

-Have you seen this?

-I can think of a few.

Kirsty Wark was definitely on the last series or the series before.

I think Ruby Wax might have been on it.

Wasn't she in, like, the Comic Relief Special?

No, no, she was, you're right, let's scrap that.

-I remember Michael Buerk was in one.

-Was he?

-Yes.

That's quite a good answer.

I'm trying to think of other pointless celebrities.

Yeah, like non-celebrities.

-Like Big Brother contestants.

-Yeah...

People from The Apprentice. I've honestly not really...

I've watched it on Saturday Kitchen and that's about it.

Yeah, erm.

Raef, can you remember his surname, from The Apprentice,

I'm sure he was on it.

I haven't got a clue, I'm sorry.

Ian Beale - Adam Woodyatt, I'm sure he was on it.

-Right, OK.

-Erm, probably not, but I'm sure he was.

Ten seconds.

I can't think of anybody else.

-Kirsty Wark, Michael Buerk, Adam Woodyatt.

-Yep, go for it.

OK. You've got three answers. There we are, your time is up.

We were looking for Celebrity MasterChef contestants.

I now need your three answers.

-Kirsty Wark.

-Kirsty Wark.

-Michael Buerk.

-Michael Buerk.

-Adam Woodyatt.

-And Adam Woodyatt.

Now of those three,

which do you reckon is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Michael Buerk's probably the best.

-Really?

-You...well, he was on it.

-OK.

-Was he on it?

I think...

What, the others weren't?

Michael Buerk. We'll put him last then.

Who should we put first, you least likely shot?

Adam Woodyatt cos I don't think it's right.

Adam Woodyatt we'll put first. Kirsty Wark et cetera.

OK, let's put them up on the board in that order and here they are.

OK, we were looking for celebrity MasterChef contestants.

Adam Woodyatt is your first answer and you think your least likely shot at a pointless.

You only have to find one remember to win that £1,000, so let's see.

Is it right and if it is, how many people said Adam Woodyatt?

Oh, you didn't think it was right and it's not!

-So kind of well done.

-LAUGHTER

-We got that bit right.

-Yeah! Unfortunately not a pointless answer.

You only have two more chances to win today's jackpot.

What would you do with £1,000?

Oh, I don't know.

We'd probably just blow it on student things like textbooks maybe.

Oh, good answer there, you pulled that one, I thought we were

heading right for the chicane and you drew away - textbooks.

OK, we're looking for Celebrity MasterChef contestants.

Let's hope nobody said your next answer, Kirsty Wark. Let's hope it's right.

-I'm not sure.

-If it is right and it's pointless you'll be leaving here with £1,000.

Let's see. Kirsty Wark. Is it right? How many people said it?

It is right. OK, Adam Woodyatt was wrong, Kirsty Wark is right.

Down it goes.

If this goes all the way down to zero you will be leaving here with £1,000.

Down it goes into single figures, look at that, still... Oh!

-6.

-Good effort.

-6.

-6.

OK, this is your last chance.

Everything is riding on Michael Buerk.

Has to be right, has to be pointless. You definitely saw him in that kitchen

and it wasn't for charity, it was a proper Celebrity MasterChef?

I think so.

I think he was proper.

And nobody's remembered him.

OK, right. No-one has remembered him. Let's find out, let's hope.

Michael Buerk, is it right?

How many people said Michael Buerk?

It's right.

It's right. Kirsty Wark went down to 6,

can Michael Buerk take you all the way down to pointless?

And if he does you'll be leaving here £1,000 richer.

Down it goes, still going down!

Down it goes - yes!

Very well done.

Look at that!

-Brilliant. Excellent!

-Yes!

Fantastic. Brilliant.

There we are.

Very, very well done, Jay and Rob.

Wow! Well, congratulations, Michael Buerk.

A pointless answer. There we are, fantastic.

That means you go home with £1,000 between you. Fabulous.

CHEERING

Wow!

Brilliant.

Richard.

Congratulations, Jay and Rob, he was on Celebrity MasterChef in 2008,

when you were 12.

LAUGHTER

There's a load more pointless answers. Let's look at some of them. See if you got any of these at home.

There's Angela Rippon. Colin Jackson the athlete.

Craig Revel Horwood from Strictly Come Dancing, all those pointless.

Linda Barker from Changing Rooms.

Midge Ure. Sian Lloyd the weather girl.

Tessa Sanderson the javelin thrower.

Tony Hadley from Spandau Ballet, and Toyah Wilcox.

All of those were pointless.

Very, very well done, guys.

Very, very well done indeed and thanks once again

to our winning players Jay and Rob who go away with today's jackpot of £1,000.

APPLAUSE

Join us next time when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me, goodbye.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd