Episode 35 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless

where the lowest scorers are the biggest winners. Let's meet the players.

APPLAUSE

Welcome, Steve and Denise. You are our first pair on the show today. Now, where are you from?

-Brentwood in Essex.

-What do you do there, Denise?

I just work part-time as a merchandiser for a sweet company.

-Oh, that's fun!

-Yes.

-What kind of sweets?

-Pick'n'mix.

-The best kind!

-Yes.

-Every kind.

-Exactly.

-Steve, what do you do?

-I'm an office manager for a finance company.

-Very good.

-What do you do when you're not doing that?

-I've just taken up fishing again.

-What other interests do you have, Steve?

-Reading, history.

-Yeah.

-And music.

-Any particular kind of music?

-'60s, because I can remember the music then.

-Do you have a cut-off period after which...?

Yes, about '74 when I stopped wearing glam clothes and make-up, funnily enough.

It's lovely to have you here, Steve and Denise. Welcome to the show.

Next, we welcome back Jenni and Andy. Everyone gets two chances to reach the Pointless final.

Remind us how you know each other, Jenni.

-We met at our local amateur dramatics society a few years ago now.

-In Hayling Island?

-That's right.

What would be great to come up for you?

Oh, um... Antiques possibly. I'm quite into collecting antiques at the moment.

I'm quite good at identifying birds by their song.

-My grandfather taught me that.

-Wow!

-Favourite bird for their song?

-It's got to be the robin.

Or the wren. I like a wren. Nice, little noise.

-Yeah.

-I was woken up by a parakeet yesterday.

-I hate that noise.

-West London is full of parakeets.

It wasn't singing. It was using a pneumatic drill.

-LAUGHTER

-But it woke me up.

-It would.

-Yeah.

-Andy, what would you like to see come up?

-History probably, battles, dates. That sort of thing.

I'm sure we'll see much more of you today. Very best of luck, Jenni and Andy.

Next, we welcome Gill and Lorna. How do you two know each other?

We met at university. We're at Lancaster University and we're in the flat next to each other.

-You're in your first year?

-Yeah, we started in October.

Oh, I see. Only just in. Gill, what are you reading at university?

I'm reading English Language and Literature with a minor in Sociolinguistics.

Sociolinguistics!

What exactly is that?

LAUGHTER

-That is good.

-I don't think I'm really sure!

-LAUGHTER

-You've only just started the course.

-Yeah.

-I'll ask you in a year's time. You can tell me.

-Lorna, what are you doing?

-I'm doing English Language.

-I'm doing the minor in Sociolinguistics...

-As well.

-And History.

-Very good.

It's great to have you on the show. Best of luck.

Finally, we have got Tim and Adam. How do you two know each other?

We both go to university together and we're flatmates.

-Where are you at university, Tim?

-We're at university in Glasgow, studying Veterinary Medicine.

-You're both vets?

-Yeah.

-Where are you from, Tim?

-I'm from Orkney, the Orkney Islands.

-Wow!

-Which of the Orkney Islands are you from?

-Sanday. It's a little one to the north of the Orkney Islands.

-We're big fans of Pointless in Orkney.

-We're big fans of the Orkneys on Pointless. That's nice.

-Especially Sanday.

-Well, Sanday, any day(!)

That's the worst joke anyone has ever made. I apologise.

I particularly apologise to those Orkney Islanders. Sorry. What would you like to see come up? Zoology?

Yeah, zoology. Any kind of science - physics, chemistry, biology, all that kind of stuff.

Anything you wouldn't like to see come up, Adam?

Yeah, celebrities. Or soaps. That would be very bad.

OK. Tim, how about you?

-Films is catastrophic for me.

-Do you not watch them or do you not remember anything about them?

I watch them, but I'm not interested in who's in it, just if it's a good film or not.

-And I imagine Tim has to watch from the back. You're quite tall.

-Yes.

-That's not tall.

-No.

-LAUGHTER

-How tall are you, Tim?

-I'm now 6' 7", when I last checked.

-OK, that is tall.

-I take it back.

-That's the same height as you.

-Yeah.

-6' 7" - you are brothers in inches.

Shall we see who's the same height as you on today's panel?

Yeah. What do you reckon?

I'm not sure anyone matches me exactly. This is fun, isn't it?

-LAUGHTER

-Oh, dear.

Very best of luck, Tim and Adam. We'll find out more about all of you throughout the show.

There's only one person left for me to introduce. If obscurity is the food of life, he'd be obese.

-It's my Pointless friend, Richard.

-Hiya.

-APPLAUSE

-Hello.

They seem like a fun bunch. Only one returning pair - Jenni and Andy.

-They were rather good last time.

-They were.

Round 2 should suit Andy. Today's first round would really suit if we had any Sociolinguistics students.

-It would be right up their street.

-Thank you so much, Richard.

All our questions were put to 100 people before the show, but we want the obscure answers they didn't get.

To stay in the game, all our players need to do is score as few points as they can.

Everyone is trying to find a pointless answer that none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens, we add 250 quid to the jackpot.

Nobody won the jackpot last time, so we add £1,000 to that. Today's jackpot starts off at £2,000.

APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

In Round 1, each of you must give me one answer and you cannot confer.

The pair with the highest score at the end of the round is eliminated.

If anyone gives me an incorrect answer, they score 100 points, so try and avoid those.

OK, our first category is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to play first, who's going to go second?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many words ending in "ume" as they could.

-Words ending in "ume", Richard?

-Yeah, we want any word in the Oxford English Dictionary that ends "ume".

We're not accepting hyphenated words or proper nouns. We will also not be accepting accented words.

OK, Steve and Denise, you all drew lots before the show and today, you are going first.

Well, Denise, this is one of those rounds where we sometimes find lots of pointless answers.

We sometimes have some wrong answers and we have some quite high-scoring answers.

I'm going to shut up and let you gather your thoughts now.

My spelling's not very good, but I think "plume" - P-L-U-M-E?

"Plume," says Denise. Let's see if "plume" is right and if it is, how many of our 100 people said "plume"?

It's right.

29.

APPLAUSE

29 for "plume". Very good. Richard?

Plume - feathers or a trail or cloud of smoke.

Thank you very much, Richard.

Andy, a nice, obscure word ending "ume"?

I've got two, but one might be hyphenated, so I'll not chance it. I'll go with "exhume".

Exhume.

-He's good.

-Yeah, that's good.

-If it's right.

-LAUGHTER

Let's see if it is right and if it is, how many people said "exhume".

It's right.

Very well done, Andy - 11.

APPLAUSE

That's dug you out of a hole(!)

LAUGHTER

That's the kind of gag I'm going to be coming up with!

That's pretty good. First, "Sanday", then "dig you out of a hole".

I'm going to keep watching you! Well done. Literally means to unearth, "exhume".

-Very good, Andy. Now then, Lorna...

-I'm struggling with this already and I should be good at it.

I did think of "plume", but I'm going to have to go for a really obvious one - "fume".

"Fume." Let's see if it's right and if it is, how many of our 100 people said "fume".

It's right.

45.

-APPLAUSE

-Not bad.

-45 for "fume".

-Yes, the volatile matter produced by combustion, "fume". Or to be angry.

Tim...

OK, I've got two words. One's a big gamble and one's a little gamble.

I've looked at that board for a long time and it now seems silly what I'm about to say.

-I'll go for "flume".

-Is that the big or little gamble?

The littler gamble, but it seems like a bigger gamble now I've said it out loud.

LAUGHTER

OK, "flume", says Tim. Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said "flume".

It is right.

35.

APPLAUSE

35 for "flume".

-Yes, a stream or ravine, but usually used in theme parks these days for a water ride.

-Indeed.

It's like "fume", but with an L in it.

That's a little bit of sociolinguistics for you there.

LAUGHTER

We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at the scores.

Lovely low score of 11 for Andy there on "exhume",

then we come up to 29 where we find Denise and Steve,

up to 35 where we find Tim and Adam, then up to 45, not very far ahead, where we find Lorna and Gill.

Gill, we'll need a nice low-scoring word from you in the next pass to make sure you stay with us.

Can the second players take their places at the podium?

OK, we're looking for words ending in "ume".

You're trying to find the one the fewest of our 100 people thought of.

Adam, the high scorers are Gill and Lorna on 45.

You're on 35. A score of 9 or less will see you through.

Tim nicely took my answer that I was thinking of,

so I'm going to have to take a bit of a gamble as well and go for "blume".

Here's your red line. If you get below it, you're in the next round.

"Blume", is it right, and if it is, how many of our 100 people said it?

It's right.

And you are through and it scores you 1.

That's a very good score, Adam. It takes your total up to 36.

Yeah, a good answer. It's just an alternative spelling of "bloom". It means the same.

Something tells me it may be a Scottish spelling.

LAUGHTER

What tells you that?

-Because...

-If it's that spirit guide again, we've talked about him.

-SCOTTISH ACCENT:

-Blume, blume!

Again I apologise to people in Orkney. I'm sorry.

-Blume.

-OK, but it's pronounced exactly the same,

-so your Scottish version of "bloom" would be that as well.

-Good point.

Gill, you and Lorna are the high scorers on 45.

So what we require from you is a really low-scoring, possibly even pointless word ending in "ume".

It's a bit bad for an English Language student, but I can't really think of any obscure answers,

so I'm going to have to go quite safe and say "consume".

"Consume", says Gill. There's no red line for you because you are the high scorers.

Let's see if "consume" is right and if it is, how many people said "consume".

It's right.

Down it goes - 26.

26. "Consume" takes your total up to 71.

-Richard?

-Come on, you know what "consume" means.

-I just... Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-To consume.

-LAUGHTER

Jenni, now remember, we are looking for words ending in "ume".

The high scorers are Gill and Lorna on 71. You are on 11,

which means a score of 59 or less will see you through to the next round. 59 or less.

I had one word in my head and, thankfully, nobody's taken it, so I'm just going to go with that.

And that is "assume".

Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said "assume".

You've done it.

29.

APPLAUSE

You know what happens when you assume, don't you?

I do. You make an ass of...of me and some guy I met in a lecture.

LAUGHTER

Yeah, you make an ass out of "u" and me.

Steve, you are on 29. The high scorers at the moment are Gill and Lorna on 71,

so a score of 41 from you will see you through to the next round.

-Talk us through your options.

-I could go for safe ones, but they may be high. There is a chancey one.

So what do I do?

-I'll go a bit safe - "presume". Presume.

-Presume.

"Presume", says Steve. Here's your red line.

There you are. That's what 41 points look like.

If you get below that, you are in the next round.

"Presume", says Steve. Is it right, how many people said it?

It's right.

Very well done. You're through.

23, that scores you. It takes your total up to 52.

APPLAUSE

-Richard?

-Well played, Steve. You know what happens if you presume?

-Yeah, you make...

-LAUGHTER

-A pres...

-Out of "u" and me.

-I'd prefer to be a pres than an ass.

-That's why it's better to presume than assume.

-Yes.

Let's take a look at the pointless answers. There's plenty up there.

-"Biovolume" was a pointless answer. That's a good answer.

-Yeah.

If someone was cocky enough to say "biovolume", I'd be very impressed.

"Illume", to illuminate, "multivolume" is a pointless answer.

Denise gave us "plume". You could have had "overplume", "emplume", "deplume" and "megaplume".

Believe it or not! "Paume" was a pointless answer. It's like a tennis game played with a gloved hand.

"Preconsume" is what your children do when you give them a packed lunch on a school trip.

"Reperfume", "subsume" a pointless answer. And "superassume".

-You mustn't do that.

-Yeah, I'm not touching that!

Please don't try that at home.

Let's look at the ones most of our 100 people said. These would have been the worst answers.

"Resume" would have been 35.

"Flume", 35, believe it or not. You know what's coming, don't you?

Yeah, "fume", absolutely, top of the pile on 45.

-Tim, what was your big gamble going to be?

-My big gamble was going to be "unfume".

Yeah, it would have scored you 100 points.

-Can you defume?

-You can't defume or unfume. What are you two thinking?

You can open a door if it's a bit... Or cool down a bit.

-Just chill out a bit, just defume.

-You should go for obvious ones like "megaplume".

-Or "multivolume".

I didn't even think of "volume".

You can enfume, if that helps.

In fact, you might want to.

I might later. Thanks, Richard. So after Round 1, the losing pair with the highest score is Gill and Lorna.

-AUDIENCE: Aw!

-Gill and Lorna with your sociolinguistics!

-It's obvious when you know the answer.

-Are you thinking of lots of other answers now?

-No.

-No.

Gill and Lorna, the great news is we will see you again next time.

Meanwhile, thank you so much for playing Pointless. Brilliant.

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round 2.

There's only room for two pairs in the head-to-head, so one team will be leaving at the end of this round.

Our category for Round 2 is...

US Presidents. Decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

And the question concerns...

-Richard?

-We'll show you a list of major historical events, six on each pass.

Tell us who was the US President at the time of each of these events.

An obscure answer scores fewer points. An incorrect answer scores 100 points. So 12 to get at home.

There's a few toughies in there.

You heard him, a few toughies. We are looking for the US Presidents at the time of these events.

I'll read those all one more time.

There are the six events.

We need the Presidents of the United States at the time of those.

You're trying to find the one that the fewest of our 100 people knew. Denise?

This is really bad for me. I'm not good at history.

-They're really tough.

-They are.

-There are some very easy ones and some impossible ones.

I'm going to say the Cuban Missile Crisis...

-John F Kennedy.

-John F Kennedy for the Cuban Missile Crisis.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people knew that.

Absolutely right.

40.

APPLAUSE

-Not bad at all. 40 points for JFK.

-Well played, Denise, safely on the board.

October 1962, the Cuban Missile Crisis.

Now, then, Jenni... Remember, we are looking for the US Presidents

who were in office at the time of these events. It's getting harder. That was one of the ones I knew.

This is really tough. I mean, it's history and it's politics! Eugh!

I only know one and that is Prince William marries Kate Middleton -

-Barack Obama.

-Barack Obama, you are saying for Prince William marrying Kate Middleton.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people knew that.

Wow... Wow, 79!

APPLAUSE

79. 21 of our 100 people didn't know that answer, Richard.

It is tricky. You've got to think of two things at once.

90% of people at home have got their answer, they're happy. They can leave the board to people here.

-You wouldn't want to face the last four, would you?

-No, not unless I was Tim.

In which case I would be quietly confident.

Not even if I was Tim.

I think I'm going to go for, as a sort of rough gamble,

the Storming of the Bastille and Abraham Lincoln because he was around at the same time, I think.

Let's see - Abraham Lincoln for the Storming of the Bastille...

No!

They are both from the past, I'll give you that.

I can only say that now I know it's wrong. If it had been right, I'd have said, "That's brilliant, Tim."

It's wrong, so you score 100 points. Richard?

There's about 70-odd years in it, both a long time ago.

The Storming of the Bastille was 1789, so George Washington was the answer there.

That would have scored 6 points.

The Atlanta Olympics, Bill Clinton was President - 7 points.

The Coronation of Elizabeth II... People know when that is, but who was President?

-Any clue or should I not put you through this hell?

-Don't put me through this hell.

It was Dwight D Eisenhower. 5 points, it would have scored you.

The best answer is the Wall Street Crash and that was Herbert Hoover - 1 point.

-Very well done if you went through that board.

-We're halfway through the round. Let's look at the scores.

Denise and Steve looking very strong there on 40. Lovely low score.

Then up to 79 for Jenni and Andy and then up to 100 where we find Tim and Adam.

The good news, Tim and Adam, is that you're not miles ahead.

-It's recoverable.

-Yeah, I think it is recoverable. Very best of luck, Adam.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

We're going to put six more events on the board and here they come.

I'll read those all one final time.

We are looking for the US Presidents at the time of these events

and you are trying to find the one that the fewest of our 100 people knew. Adam...

-Right.

-What do you think?

I'm thinking there's one there that I have a possible idea of, so I'm going to go for it.

I'm going to go for the American Civil War begins and John Adams.

You are the high scorers on 100. You just have to hope it goes down as far as it possibly can.

John Adams, is that right for the beginning of the Civil War and how many people said it if it is?

Oh, bad luck. Bad luck, Adam.

That scores you 100 points and I'm afraid it takes you up to an unassailable 200.

Andy, you visibly relaxed there. You are now through to the next round.

We are looking for the US Presidents who were in office when these events happened.

I'll go for the same one, American Civil War, and I'll say Abraham Lincoln.

Let's see if that's right for the Civil War beginning. How many people said it if it is?

It's right.

Very well done indeed - 9 points.

-APPLAUSE

-It takes your total up to 88.

Richard?

-Well played, Andy - 1861.

-Well done. That's a great score.

We come to you, Steve. You are the last person to have this board, so feel free to talk us through it.

Gorbachev, not too sure.

Watergate, Richard Nixon.

World War I, again not sure, or Custer.

So, attack on Pearl Harbor, Franklin D Roosevelt.

Franklin D Roosevelt, says Steve for the attack on Pearl Harbor. You're through to the next round.

Let's see if it's right and how many people said it if it is.

It is right.

There we are.

-APPLAUSE

-20. It takes your total up to a nice, round 60.

Richard?

Well done, Steve - 1941. Franklin D Roosevelt was President from '33 to '45,

the only one to have more than eight years, because of the war.

Always a good answer. Statistically, whatever the question is, he is most likely to be the answer.

Let's look at the other answers. Watergate break-in, you're right, Richard Nixon. That scored 53.

Gorbachev became Soviet leader when Reagan was the US President. That would have scored you 31.

When the US entered World War I, it was Woodrow Wilson - 7 points.

And very well done to anybody who knew the President at the time of Custer's Last Stand

was Ulysses S Grant. A terrific answer. 1 point, that scored you.

Anyone who got all 12, that's very, very good going.

Very good indeed. Thanks, Richard.

-At the end of Round 2, the losing pair with the highest score, I'm afraid it's Tim and Adam.

-Oh, well.

If there's a high score in the first pass, the second person has to go for the trickier end of the board.

But you've done very well. We will see you again next time.

Meantime, thank you so much for playing, Adam and Tim.

For the remaining two pairs, things get even more exciting now as we enter the head-to-head.

Congratulations, Steve and Denise, Jenni and Andy. You are one round away from the final and a chance

to play for that jackpot which stands at £2,000.

APPLAUSE

Obviously, only one pair can play for that money

and you will now go head-to-head on the best of three questions.

The first pair to win two questions will play for the jackpot

and the great news is you are now allowed to confer.

Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question.

And it concerns...

-Female newsreaders, Richard?

-We'll show you five pictures of women who have read the national news on TV.

Can you identify the most obscure of them?

Thank you very much, Richard. Let's reveal our five female newsreaders. We have got...

OK, there they are, our five female newsreaders.

Steve and Denise, you are the lowest scorers throughout the show so far, so you get to go first.

We're going to go for "A", Anna Ford.

Anna Ford, "A", you are saying.

Now then, Jenni and Andy...

Steve and Denise are saying "A" is Anna Ford.

You can submit another answer for "A" if you think they're wrong

or you can pick any of the others. Talk us through the board if you like.

I think I know three of the four others.

I think they're right with "A". It's just which one may be lower.

-Sue Lawley?

-It's up to you.

-Or Moira Stuart?

-It depends on the 100... I'd go for Sue Lawley.

-Would you?

-I think so.

-We're going to go D, Sue Lawley.

D, Sue Lawley. D, Sue Lawley. Steve and Denise have said that "A" is Anna Ford.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said "A", Anna Ford.

It's right.

39.

APPLAUSE

39 for Anna Ford.

And Jenni and Andy have said Sue Lawley as D. D, Sue Lawley.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said Sue Lawley for D.

Well, it's right. 39 is the score you have to beat. Still going down.

Yeah, you've done it - 24.

APPLAUSE

-That's unexpected, I would say.

-Unexpectedly low, isn't it?

Yeah, I might have thought that Anna Ford would have gone lower than Sue Lawley. No offence, Anna!

Just with Desert Island Discs and all that.

Which means after one question, Jenni and Andy are ahead 1-0. Richard?

Well played, Jenni and Andy.

-There's one very good answer up there. Can you guess which one it is?

-It's C.

You did very well to avoid Moira Stuart, your other option,

because she would have scored you 45 points.

Now, C is the fist woman to read the national news on the BBC in 1960.

It's Nan Winton.

She's a pointless answer, so very well done if you said her.

And Kate Silverton is E.

Kate Silverton would have scored you 14 points. That was a good answer.

OK, thank you very much, Richard. Here comes your second question.

Steve and Denise, you need to win this question to stay in the game.

Our second question concerns...

Turner Prize-winning artists, Richard?

That seems to have delighted everybody - the audience, our four contestants(!)

We'll give you the names of five Turner Prize-winning artists,

but we'll only give you the first and last letters of their first name and surname.

-Can you tell us who they are?

-Very good indeed.

Five Turner Prize-winning artists.

We're only giving you the first and last letters of their first and second names. Let's reveal them.

I'll read those all one final time.

There we are. There are our five Turner Prize-winning artists.

Andy and Jenni, I can see you can't wait to get among them.

I'd love to be able to say that I know them all, but I don't.

I think I know one and I'm going to go with that.

The G-blank-N P-blank-Y, I think is Grayson Perry?

The excellent Grayson Perry. Yes, maybe.

Steve and Denise?

You can talk us through the board if you like.

This wasn't on my list of favourite subjects.

You need to win this point.

There's only one I've just fallen into and probably the most common is the top one, Damien Hirst.

-Damien Hirst.

-OK, you're going to go with Damien Hirst at the top.

OK, so we have Grayson Perry and we have Damien Hirst.

Jenni and Andy, you said Grayson Perry. Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said it.

It's right.

-15.

-Well done, well done.

-APPLAUSE

-That's a great answer. Great score.

So, Steve and Denise, you've gone for Damien Hirst. 15 is the score you have to beat. Damien Hirst...

Is it right, how many people said it?

It's right. This will decide whether or not you stay with us.

It has to go down...

27.

APPLAUSE

27. So, after only two questions, Jenni and Andy are through to the final 2-0. Richard?

Very well played, Jenni. Do you know any of these? Do you know A-Y G-Y?

-Yes, Antony Gormley.

-Antony Gormley, a sculptor.

He did the Angel of the North probably most famously.

9 points he would have scored you.

-R-L W-D? She did the inside-out house.

-Rachel Whitbread.

-Rachel Whiteread.

-Whiteread.

-Very nearly. Would have scored 3 points.

And the bottom one?

I do know that. That's Steve McQueen, now the director.

Now a film director, Steve McQueen. That would have scored you 1 point.

-Very well done if you got all five of those.

-Very good.

The losing pair at the end of the head-to-head is Steve and Denise.

Great answers from you, correct answers, low-scoring answers.

But I'm afraid, Jenni and Andy, they whipped you with each one.

The great news is we will get to see you again next time

when you'll maybe get beyond the head-to-head.

Thank you so much for playing, Steve and Denise.

For Jenni and Andy, it's now time for our Pointless final.

APPLAUSE

Congratulations, Jenni and Andy. You have fought off the competition and won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot and at the end of today's show, it stands at £2,000.

APPLAUSE

To win that money, all you have to do is find a pointless answer.

We haven't had any pointless answers today. You only have to find one now and you'll leave with that money.

First, choose a category from these five options. They are...

LAUGHTER

Right, what are you thinking?

-Children's Books.

-None of those really appeal to me.

-Not even Katie Price?

-No, certainly not.

-No, I think you're right. I think Children's Books.

-I think that would be best for us.

Children's Books. Let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many Dr Seuss books as they could.

Dr Seuss books, Richard?

We're looking for any children's book written by Theodor Geisel under the pseudonym Dr Seuss -

short stories, songbooks, anything at all, so long as it's published under the name Dr Seuss.

-We will be very strict on the titles of the books. We need exact wording.

-Thank you, Richard.

You have one minute to come up with three answers

and all you need to win that £2,000 jackpot is for just one answer to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

-Yes.

-Let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

OK, well, Maddy has just been in Seussical the Musical, so we should be able to get some.

Horton Hears A Who is the elephant one.

And I'm trying to think of some others.

-The Cat In The Hat. That's going to be way up there.

-The Grinch?

We can do The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. That'll be really popular.

-Can you remember some of the songs in that musical?

-I'm trying.

-You remember them. I don't.

-I know, I know.

I keep coming back to that elephant the whole time.

-Maddy's going to kill me.

-I know.

-Wasn't there a tiger thing?

-No, I don't think so.

What was the cat?

What was she? She was a monkey, wasn't she?

Ten seconds left.

I'm useless.

Don't talk to me. LAUGHTER

I'm afraid your minute is up.

-We were looking for Dr Seuss books. I now need your three answers.

-OK.

-Horton Hears A Who!

-Horton Hears A Who!

-The Wickersham Boys.

-The Wickersham Boys.

-And The Grinch Who Stole Christmas.

-And The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. There are three answers.

Which do you think is your best punt at a pointless answer?

If The Wickersham Boys is a correct answer, it might be the best answer, but I'm not sure it's correct.

-It sounds brilliant to me. It just has to be a Dr Seuss book. We'll put that last?

-Yeah.

-What about your least likely?

-The Grinch.

-The Grinch Who Stole Christmas will go up first.

Let's put those answers up on the board in that order.

We were looking for Dr Seuss books.

The Grinch Who Stole Christmas was your least confident shot at a pointless answer.

You only have to find one pointless answer to win that jackpot of £2,000.

Is The Grinch Who Stole Christmas right and if it is, how many people said it?

Oh!

Oh! Unfortunately, an incorrect answer, as it turns out.

We'll discover from Richard why that's incorrect in a little while.

-You weren't expecting that to be pointless.

-No, if it was right, it was never going to be pointless.

So, then, what would you do with £2,000?

-Have a honeymoon. We're getting married later in the year, so we'll use it for a honeymoon.

-Very good.

Very best of luck and congratulations.

Let's hope that one of these two remaining answers will go into that honeymoon fund.

Let's hope nobody said your next answer - Horton Hears A Who!

It has to be right and pointless. If it's both of those things, the £2,000 is yours.

How many people said Horton Hears A Who?

It's right. Horton Hears A Who is right and it's still going down.

If this goes all the way down to zero, you leave here with £2,000.

It's going down into single figures.

-7, it stops.

-Unlucky.

-APPLAUSE

There we go. That's what we want. Good.

OK, 7. We're getting in the right direction now. Everything is riding on The Wickersham Boys.

How did you come by this answer, The Wickersham Boys?

My daughter's just been in Seussical the Musical, a school production, and she was a Wickersham Boy.

I'm sure that was a Dr Seuss book, but I'm not sure of the title now.

OK...

We shall see. We are looking for Dr Seuss books. Your third and final answer is The Wickersham Boys.

This, you said, was your most confident answer on the understanding that it was right.

-Yes.

-To win £2,000, it has to be pointless.

Let's find out. The Wickersham Boys, is it right, and if it is, how many people said it? Good luck.

No!

-Oh, dear, oh, dear.

-APPLAUSE

-That was a brilliant and quite exciting punt.

-Thank you.

-It could have been right.

We will discover from Richard if it was even close to being right,

but you didn't find that all-important pointless answer,

so you don't win the £2,000 which rolls over to the next show.

You've been brilliant contestants and you do take home our Pointless trophy.

-It's what we came for.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

-Richard?

-Yeah, well played, Jenni and Andy. Let's clear up those two red crosses first.

The Wickersham Brothers, who are monkeys, are characters in Horton Hears A Who!

-Oh.

-And the Grinch book is How The Grinch Stole Christmas. That's the title we'd be looking for.

-Right.

-That would have scored you 2 points.

It would have been even more heart-breaking. Let's look at some pointless answers.

See if you got any at home.

His first book - And To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street,

Gerald McBoing Boing, based on his animated short,

Happy Birthday To You was pointless,

Hunches In Bunches, Oh, Baby! Go, Baby! which uses the same text as Oh, The Places You'll Go!

Let's take a look at the last three.

The Cat In The Hat Songbook, The Sneetches: And Other Stories

and There's A Wocket In My Pocket about the boy who has a nooth grush on his toothbrush.

-Very well done if you got any of those at home.

-Thank you, Richard.

-We have to say goodbye to you, Jenni and Andy, but thank you so much for playing.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

Sadly, Jenni and Andy didn't win our jackpot, so it rolls over on to the next show

when we will be playing for £3,000.

APPLAUSE

-Join us then to see if someone can win it. It's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And goodbye from me.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd