Episode 38 Pointless

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you very much. I'm Alexander Armstrong,

and welcome to Pointless,

the quiz show where the aim of the game

is to score as few points as you can.

Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

Now welcome, Peter and Debbie.

You are our first pair on the show today.

How do you two know each other?

She's my daughter. My eldest daughter.

Your eldest daughter. And where are you from, Debbie?

-Boreham Wood in Hertfordshire.

-How about you, Peter?

I'm from Frimley Green, where the darts come from.

Very good! Frimley Green. What do you do, Peter?

-I'm retired now.

-And what did you do?

I was in the international transport business for 35-odd years.

So whereabouts did you transport to?

Europe, or beyond?

Really anywhere in the world.

I mean, I think I worked it out.

I've visited 54 countries, slept in 90 different cities.

What a boring life I've had, eh?

I wouldn't say!

SLEPT in different cities. That's a funny way of putting it.

-Sounds rather racy, Peter!

-LAUGHTER

"I've slept in 94 different cities."

Want to make it 95?

LAUGHTER

So other than world geography, what would be a good topic?

Erm, I like the older American musicals.

OK, that's quite specific.

-Politics.

-Politics would be good for you? Right.

-A lot of people say that's their least favourite subject.

-Yes, that's what I'm hoping.

Debbie, what do you do?

I'm a school secretary at a primary school.

What do you do when you're not doing that?

I'm a great one for the food.

So along with that is a diet club and the gym.

SHE LAUGHS

Excellent! Do you cook a lot?

Yes, and I've got more cookery books than anything else in the house.

My husband despairs.

Very best of luck, Peter and Debbie. It's lovely to have you on the show.

Next, welcome back Steve and Gareth. You were on the show last time.

Everyone gets two chances to reach the Pointless final.

This is your second and final chance.

Remind us how you two know each other.

Steve's the boyfriend of my younger sister.

And what happened last time, Steve?

Erm, we don't read a lot,

so the literature round was pretty much our worst subject.

So we got 200, which is quite good.

Oh, yes, that's right. You were the 200 club, Round Two.

Not so bad. What would you like to see today, Gareth?

Sport, maybe some movies.

Movies served us quite well last time we were here.

OK, very good. Steve, how about you?

Music. Big on '80s and '90s music because of my mobile DJ-ing.

-Do you still do the mobile DJ-ing?

-I do, occasionally.

Well, let's hope we see more of you than we did last time.

Best of luck.

Next, we welcome back Fiona and Paul.

You were also on the show last time.

Remind us how you know each other.

-We're married.

-You're married.

And how did you do last time, Paul?

-Well, a bit of a disaster, really.

-It was, it was a terrible disaster!

I was expecting great things from you.

Erm, well, it was a category that unfortunately

-Fiona didn't know anything about.

-Ben Stiller.

-Ben Stiller films, yeah.

-Who?

-Exactly.

-Well...Ha-ha!

Ben Stiller. Now you know who he is now, Fiona?

-No!

-LAUGHTER

What's going to be good? It won't be Ben Stiller. You can relax.

Human biology, nutrition, musicals.

Anything you'd hate to see come up today?

We would hate soaps.

-That would be a disaster.

-Or sports.

Well, not totally on sports.

I would be all right on sport, but Fiona would be a problem.

Fiona wouldn't enjoy it. Sport and Ben Stiller?

-No!

-Yes!

Anyway, very best of luck to you, Fiona and Paul.

I'm sure we'll see much more of you today.

And finally, we welcome back Mark and Bevis.

You were also on the show last time. Remind us how you know each other.

We're brothers.

And remind us what happened last time, Bevis.

Er, we did OK. We got to the head-to-head.

I mean, you looked like you were absolutely cruising

through the head-to-head.

And then Ray and Marion suddenly plucked an answer out of thin air,

made up an answer that happened to be right and beat yours.

We saw a RAY of hope and it was snatched away.

Yeah, it was, appropriately enough by Ray, in fact.

LAUGHTER

Bevis, remind us what you do for a job.

I work for a social housing company.

I provide housing support for people.

But we discovered last time you are the leading light

of the Torquay Amateur Dramatic Society.

I do some stuff, yeah, with them.

You've been in the "Scottish play".

Mac... Macbeth.

The S...

Oh, well, THANKS, Richard(!) I was specially...

Because last time when Macbeth came up and... Oh.

Last time Macbeth came up

and I mentioned it, I stubbed my toe as I was leaving.

I'll tell you something else about Macbeth.

People say you shouldn't say Macbeth. I don't see why. Just say Macbeth.

-Yeah?

-What's Macbeth going to do?

Macbeth, Macbeth, Macbeth, Macbeth, Macbeth.

-Yeah?

-It's nonsense, isn't it?

All those heavy bits of machinery,

just hanging by a thread above your head and mine.

Macbeth, Macbeth, Macbeth.

LAUGHTER

Woo-oh!

Oh, dear. Now there we are, it's all fine.

-Bevis has played... Bevis has...

-LAUGHTER

-Bevis has played Macbeth.

-Hm?

-Bevis played Macbeth...

-Don't say Bevis!

LAUGHTER

Don't you know anything about Torquay amateur dramatics?

Say Bevis, it's bad luck.

Mark and Bevis, it's great to have you back on the show.

You made it to the head-to-head last time.

I have every hope you will again today.

We'll find out more about you during the show.

There's only one person left for me to introduce, a man blacklisted

from every pub quiz in the country on account of his obscure knowledge.

It's my Pointless friend, Richard.

Hiya.

Hello, hiya.

APPLAUSE

There you go.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-There it is.

-There it is.

I'm not going to tire of that joke.

LAUGHTER

How are you, are you well?

-Yeah, I'm very well, thank you.

-Excellent.

We've got three returning pairs today, so a very familiar line-up

and last time Mark and Bevis did very well.

They were unlucky because they actually lost out to a fluke.

They lost out to a guess,

so they'll be very hard to beat this time, I think.

It should be a very close contest, especially as

Round One should be very good for Peter, I think.

I look forward to that.

All our questions on Pointless have been put to 100 people

before the show.

But we're looking for the obscure answers that they didn't get.

To stay in the game and be in with a chance of winning our jackpot,

our players need to score as few points as they can.

What everyone is trying to do is to find a pointless answer,

that's an answer that none of our 100 people gave, and every time

that happens, if it happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Nobody won the jackpot last time so we add another £1,000 to that,

so today's jackpot starts off at £5,250.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

OK, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

Right, in this first round each of you must give me one answer

and you cannot confer with your partner.

Whichever pair has the highest score at the end of the round will be

eliminated, and if anyone gives an incorrect answer

they will score the maximum of 100 points, so try and avoid those.

OK, our first category today is Currencies.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

and who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, our question concerns ISO Currency Codes. Richard.

Yes, as you know,

if you've been to a bureau de change, every world currency

has a three letter ISO currency code, so for example, USD is US dollars.

We're going to give you seven of those codes in each pass.

Can you tell us the name of the country and currency

that those codes stand for, please?

There's going to be 14 in all to have a go at at home.

A couple of easy ones but some very tough ones there as well.

I don't doubt it.

OK, Peter and Debbie, you all drew lots before the show

and today, you are going first.

So, we're looking for the countries

and currencies of these ISO codes and we have got...

I'll read those all one more time.

So there we are.

Blimey, Debbie, good luck with that.

Gee, thanks. Yes.

Right, unfortunately I do only think I only know the one which is going

to be really high, which is GBP, which is the Great Britain sterling.

Great Britain sterling, says Debbie, GBP, Great Britain sterling.

Is that right and if it is, how many people knew that answer?

-Ooh, 79. Well...

-I knew it would be high.

It's 21 better than 100.

79.

You may find that that's 21 better

than quite a few people score in this round.

We'll see. Richard.

You'd have thought it'd have got more than that.

Do you know the Scots Gaelic term for pound sterling is punnd Sasannach?

-Is it really?

-Yeah.

-Properly?

-Yeah.

-Thank you.

-Steve, how's the board look to you?

-All right.

There's three or four that I know apart from the one that's gone.

OK.

I'm going to go for the top one, that's Thailand and the baht.

The Thailand baht.

The Thai baht, you are saying, let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many people said the Thai baht.

25.

APPLAUSE

25 for the Thai baht, very well done, Steve.

Thai baht, Richard.

Good answer, Steve, 100 satang make a baht.

It sounds delicious.

-Mm.

-Mm. I'm not sure

I could have a whole hundred satang in my baht,

-but a baht, mm.

-LAUGHTER

There we are. Paul.

I've got a couple I know.

One I'm sure of, one I'm pretty sure of,

so I'm going to try CHF, Switzerland franc.

CHF, the Swiss franc, says Paul. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many people said the Swiss franc, CHF.

It's right.

17. Very well done.

APPLAUSE

That's a great answer, Paul. Swiss franc.

Good answer. The only place in Europe they still use francs.

-Yeah?

-That's at time of recording, yes.

-Yes.

By the time this goes out, they'll all be back to them, won't they?

Yeah.

LAUGHTER

Mark, you're the last person to have this board.

Now, I saw you nodding vigorously then.

I think this might be a good subject for you.

There were a few that, yeah, I knew the Thai baht,

guessed the franc and so I'm guessing you've got

the Australian dollar at the bottom, I'm guessing maybe

a Venezuelan dollar in the middle, but a few years ago I went to

South Africa so I'm going to go for ZAR, South African rand.

The South African rand, ZAR.

Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many people knew that answer.

Well done, it's right.

17 our lowest score in the pass so far.

You've beaten that, 6, very well done indeed, Mark.

-That's a great answer, 6 for the South African rand.

-APPLAUSE

Good answer, Mark.

This round didn't cause anyone any troubles at all.

I thought it might do.

It replaced the South African pound in 1961.

Let's take a look through the other ones.

You're quite right, the bottom one is the Australian dollar,

that would have scored you 71.

If you'd said Venezuelan dollar, you'd have scored 100 points.

It's the Vietnamese dong.

It would have scored you 3 points.

And KES is the Kenyan shilling, which would have scored you 7 points,

so the Vietnamese dong is the best answer on that board.

And let's face it, the funniest.

OK, let's take a look at the scores, we're halfway through the round.

Mark and Bevis, you are on 6, very well done indeed,

a lovely low score, then we come up to 17, where we find Paul and Fiona,

up to 25, where Steve and Gareth are.

Then up to 79 for Debbie and Peter.

-Yes, that's quite a high score.

-It is.

Peter, luckily you are the man to reverse the fortunes.

OK, we're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK, we've got seven more ISO codes on the board and here they come.

We have got...

I'll read them all one more time.

OK, now remember, we are looking for the countries

and currencies represented by these ISO codes and obviously

you're trying to find the one the fewest of our 100 people knew.

Now then, Bevis, Mark did fantastically well there...

-He did.

-..with a low score of six.

He did. I'm not very good on this.

Are you going to be able to match this?

The high scorers at the moment are Peter and Debbie on 79,

-which means a score of 72 or less from you...

-OK.

..will be enough to see you through.

There's a couple there that I think are probably obvious

and I'm going to have to choose one because I don't know the others.

I'm going to go for INR, Indian rupee.

The INR, you're saying, is the Indian rupee.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said it.

There's your red line.

Below that red line, through to the next round.

Indian rupee, is it right?

Yep, it is, very well done

and you are through to the next round.

24, great answer.

24 takes your total up to a nice round 30.

APPLAUSE

-Richard.

-Safely through, Bevis.

India one of the first ever countries to introduce coins,

from the sixth century BC.

Rupees have been around since the 1500s.

Fiona, you are on 17.

The high scorers are still Peter and Debbie on 79,

which means 61 or less will see you through to the next round.

Well, I was going to go for the Indian rupee.

I know, I think, two others.

Of those, I think possibly the best one score-wise

could be JPY, Japanese yen.

The Japanese yen, JPY. There it is.

There's your red line.

If you get below that red line you are through to the next round.

JPY, is it the Japanese yen? How many people said it?

It's right.

Ooh, 64,

that scores you. Takes your total up to 81.

APPLAUSE

-Richard.

-Close-run thing now.

Do you know what yen means, literally, in Japan?

In Japan, no.

It means "round object".

-That's good, isn't it?

-That's nice, isn't it?

-Yeah, it's exactly what it is.

-Yeah.

So remember, we're looking for the countries

and the currencies represented by these codes.

Gareth, you're on 25, the high scorers are Fiona and Paul on 81.

If you could score 55 or less

you are through to the next round.

OK, well, Japanese yen was going to be my answer so that's gone.

The only one I think I know, and I'm going to have to go for it,

NZD, that's New Zealand dollar.

The New Zealand dollar, the NZD you're going to go for.

Here's your red line.

You want to get below that red line, ideally, to see yourselves

through to the next round.

The New Zealand dollar, says Gareth. Is it right?

How many people said it?

It's right.

-Ooh, it's a high score.

-APPLAUSE

73, takes your total up to 98.

Richard.

Yes, a pretty big score, especially considering

your opponent's slept in 94 cities in the world.

Yeah, Peter, you are the last person to have this board

so you can tidy up here.

Before you do, I'm just going to point out that the high scorers

on 98 are Gareth and Steve.

You're on 79, which means you must score 18 or less.

There's one I certainly know, do you want me to go through them?

Go through them if you like.

SEK is the Swedish krona, but the real gamble will be RWF,

we'll try the Rwandan franc.

Let's have a gamble.

The Rwandan franc, says Peter.

Oh, he's good, isn't he, for RWF?

RWF, Rwandan franc. This could be pointless, maybe it's pointless,

Peter, in which case you'll add 250 quid to our jackpot.

The Rwandan franc, let's see if it's right and if it is

how many people said it. There is your red line,

you have to get below that or we say goodbye to you.

Rwandan franc.

It's right. Very well done, Peter.

OK, it's all going in the right direction,

down it goes, down it goes, you've done it!

-Oh!

-APPLAUSE

Very well done, Peter, that scores you 1 point

and it rounds your score up to a lovely low 80 points,

very well done indeed.

That's the way to play Pointless, isn't it?

Very, very well played, Peter.

Rwandan franc, also a guy who drinks in my local pub, Rwandan Frank.

LAUGHTER

Funnily enough, if you'd gone for SEK as well, Swedish krona,

you also would have qualified.

You didn't need to take the risk because that's only 17 points.

PLN is the Polish zloty, it would have scored you 2 points

and up at the top of the board, MXN, it's the Mexican peso.

That would have scored 3 points.

So RWF, Rwandan franc, very much the best answer on that board.

Well done if you got all those at home.

OK, well, thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So at the end of the first round, the losing pair with the highest

score, I'm afraid, Gareth and Steve.

Oh dear, oh dear, and you being returners and all that.

-Yeah, afraid so.

-This really is goodbye.

It's obvious once you see the answers,

but if you have to guess them...

The Mexican peso, after thinking about it,

I would have known that, but...

You know, I'd never have got that, MXN, but there we are.

I'm afraid this is where we say goodbye.

You've been excellent contestants.

-Thank you so much for playing, Gareth and Steve.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs it's now time for Round Two.

There's only going to be room for two pairs in the head-to-head,

so one of the teams in front of me now will be

leaving at the end of this round.

OK, our category for Round Two is Football.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out the question.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many United football teams as they could.

Richard?

We want any team that played in any of the four

professional divisions of English football

in 2011-2012 with the word "United" in their name, please.

OK, thank you very much indeed.

Debbie, we are looking for United football teams in the top four

English football leagues.

I'm going to have to go with one of the very obvious ones,

Newcastle United.

-Which will be right up the top.

-Newcastle United.

They hope!

Let's see if that's correct.

If it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Newcastle United.

It's right!

-Down it goes, 49.

-Lower than I thought.

APPLAUSE

49 for Newcastle United. Richard?

Not bad at all, Debbie.

Not a bad score. In the Premier League, obviously.

Paul?

You've had a little moment to think,

what is the most obscure United football team you can think of?

I have one which I think is right but I'm not 100% sure.

So, I think I'll go for Leeds United.

Leeds United, says Paul, let's see if that's right.

If it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Leeds United.

Yep, absolutely right.

60!

APPLAUSE

60.

Toon on 49, Leeds 60.

Leeds United is a big name.

Newcastle, maybe people think they are just called Newcastle.

Whereas Leeds, it's Leeds United.

Now then, Bevis?

OK, I can think of a few,

but I'm going to have to go for Torquay United.

Your hometown, Torquay United. Very well done.

I say that, let's see if it's right.

And if it is, how many of 100 people said Torquay United. Brilliant.

It's right.

Eight. Once again, Mark and Bevis scoring in the single figures.

-APPLAUSE

-Torquay United.

Well done, Bevis, currently in League Two.

That fell very nicely for Bevis. Perfect.

Excellent! Halfway through the round. Thank you, Richard.

Let's take a look at the scores as they stand. Eight, Bevis and Mark.

Once again, the pair to beat.

Then we come to 49, where we find Debbie and Peter.

Then 60 for Paul and Fiona. So, Fiona, we need an ace,

obscure United football team from you in the next pass.

Otherwise we'll have to say goodbye to you at the end of this round.

OK, can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK, we are looking for United football teams.

Obviously you're trying to find the most obscure one.

Mark, you are on eight.

The high scorers are Paul and Fiona on 60,

which means a score of 51 or less will see you straight through

to the head-to-head once again.

I think I'm going to undo all of Bevis's work and take away

the geezer reputation and admit I don't know much about football.

So, I'm going to go for Sheffield United.

Sheffield United? You are on eight, you want to be scoring 51 or less.

There's your red line.

Sheffield United, is it right? How many people said it?

You've done it!

You have done it!

-35, very well done, Mark.

-APPLAUSE

Takes your total to 43, you're through. Richard?

Well done, the oldest of all the United clubs, been around since 1889.

Fiona? You are the high scorers on 60.

Your only hope is to find a really, really low-scoring,

obscure United team in the top four leagues of English football.

Portsmouth.

Portsmouth United? What do you think, Paul?

I think it's 100.

-Portsmouth?

-I'm afraid.

Let's see if it's right and how many of our 100 people said Portsmouth.

There's no red line for you because you are the high scorers.

Bad luck, Fiona.

I'm afraid Paul is right, that is an incorrect answer.

That scores you 100, takes your total up to an unbeatable 160.

-Richard?

-That's weird, Portsmouth usually score nothing!

LAUGHTER

There you go.

It's just Portsmouth, I'm afraid. Portsmouth FC.

Peter, the good news is you are through to the head-to-head

whatever you score.

But I have a feeling you might be quite good at this?

There is the obvious one, Manchester United.

And there's Southend United.

But as we're through, I won't gamble on Southend.

So I'm going to stick with Manchester United.

-Because I'm a coward.

-That makes no sense at all.

You're through anyway, so why not gamble?

OK, Southend United.

OK, there we are, Peter, thank you, Southend United.

There's no red line for you because you are through whatever happens.

Let's see what our 100 people said, Southend United.

Is right!

Might it be a pointless answer?

It's a great answer either way, Peter. Takes your total to 54.

APPLAUSE

-Southend, Richard?

-Well played. Currently in League Two.

There's only one pointless answer in the whole of English

professional football and that is Hereford United.

So very well done if you said that.

We have Hartlepool United for 2.

Carlisle United, 3. Some other low scorers, Peterborough United,

Colchester United, Oxford United.

The top three, though.

These are the ones that most of our 100 people said.

Debbie gave us our third one, Newcastle United, 49.

Paul gave us the second biggest, Leeds United, 60.

What do you think Manchester United scored?

Was it the 100, have they gone the big 100?

It wasn't, they dropped a couple of points at home,

it's 98 points.

Thanks, Richard. At the end of that round,

the losing pair with the highest score,

I'm afraid, is Fiona and Paul.

It was Ben Stiller last time, and this time,

blooming United football teams.

We've had a great time anyway, thank you.

I knew Carlisle United, I was going to go for it, I should have done.

That was a mistake. Never mind, too late now.

Fiona and Paul, thanks for playing, been lovely having you on.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, things are about to get even

more exciting as we enter the head-to-head.

Congratulations, Mark and Bevis, Peter and Debbie,

you are only one round away from the final and the chance

to play for the jackpot, which currently stands at £5,250.

APPLAUSE AND WHOOPING

Clearly, only one pair can play for that, so to decide who,

you are now going to go head-to-head on the best of three questions.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for the jackpot.

You are now allowed to confer.

-Let's play the head-to-head.

-APPLAUSE

Here comes your first question.

And it concerns Radio DJs and Presenters.

Radio DJs and Presenters, Richard?

For this question, we will show you five pictures of radio DJs

and presenters.

Can you identify them and pick the most obscure, please?

OK, thanks very much.

Let's reveal our five radio DJs and/or presenters.

And we've got...

OK, so there go our five DJs and presenters.

Now, Mark and Bevis,

you've played best so far so you get to go first.

THEY WHISPER

OK, we have decided on D as Jo Wiley.

D, Jo Whiley?

You're saying D, Jo Whiley?

Peter and Debbie, you can do all of your conferring out loud.

Not a lot to confer, really.

I have a problem, I only listen to Classic FM

and I don't think any of those guys work for Classic FM.

C looks more classical, we'll go for one of your classical ones for C.

He's in a dickie bow.

Let's try William Browne, with an E, for C.

LAUGHTER

Is that a person you actually listen to on the radio?

I've absolutely no idea.

William Browne...

-With an E.

-With an E.

Which one would you like to say? C? OK, it could have been B.

OK, C you are saying William Browne with an E.

Mark and Bevis are saying D, Jo Whiley.

D, Jo Whiley, let's see if it's right.

If it is, let's see how many people said Jo Whiley for D.

It's right.

26.

APPLAUSE

This is extraordinary, because last time

Mark and Bevis played, the pair they were playing against

guessed an answer and beat them.

Who would believe in a million years...? C has been

identified by Peter and Debbie as William Browne.

Let's see if it's right, and if it is let's see how many people said William Brown with an E.

No. No, sorry no. That would have been too good to be true.

I'm afraid William Browne with an E is an incorrect answer.

Which means Mark and Bevis,

after one question, you are ahead 1-0. Richard?

The very lovely Jo Whiley wins you the point.

Let's go through all of them. We'll get to C in a minute.

A, talking of lovely people, it's the lovely Scott Mills from Radio 1.

He would have scored you 16 points.

B also from Radio 1, co-presents with Nick Grimshaw, it's Annie Mac.

She would have scored you six points.

C is the best answer on the board

and least likely to present a classical show.

He is from Radio 1, Radio 2, Radio 6, all sorts of things,

Steve Lamacq would have scored you three points.

And E is a Classic FM presenter, Paul Gambaccini.

-Course he is.

-And that would have scored you 29 points.

So would have lost you the point anyway.

Thanks. Here comes your second question. Peter and Debbie,

we need you to win this to stay in the game.

It concerns Cockney rhyming slang. Richard?

We're going to show you a list of Cockney rhyming slang phrases

and what they stand for, but we've missed out one of the words.

Can you fill in the gap, please?

And the phrases are as they appear in the Oxford Dictionary of Slang.

Best of luck.

OK, let's reveal our five clues to Cockney rhyming slang.

And we've got...

I'll read them all one more time...

Peter and Debbie, you go first this time.

We've had a long discussion but we'll go with Boracic lint, skint.

Boracic lint for skint, say Peter and Debbie.

Now, Mark and Bevis.

-Ruby Murray.

-Everybody knows Ruby Murray.

Plates of meat, feet.

Scapa Flow, I'm tempted to say for go.

-On your Tod Jones?

-I'm thinking Todd Malone.

-Shall we go for plates of meat?

-Playing safe.

All right, we'll go for plates of meat, feet.

Plates of meat, feet, say Mark and Bevis.

Peter and Debbie have said Boracic lint, skint.

Let's see if it's right, and if so, how many people said it.

-Yep.

-Yeah.

It's right, but how far down is it going to go?

Boracic lint takes you down to 31.

APPLAUSE

OK, Mark and Bevis, you were playing safe with

plates of meat, for feet.

Let's see if that's right, and how many people said it.

It's right.

It is high. 82 for plates of meat.

Which means, after two questions, you are absolutely even. Richard?

Boracic lint is a type of medical dressing,

shortened to boracic - "I'm boracic."

Plates of meat first recorded in 1887 in a poem.

Now, Ruby Murray, do you know where the OED first recalls that?

-No.

-1983, Only Fools And Horses.

-Really?

-Yes.

It must have been around before, but that's its first...

-Its first citation?

-Yes.

-That's extraordinary.

That would have scored 77 points, not much better than plates of meat.

And, guys, you're right about Scapa, Scapa Flow, go.

But it wouldn't have won you the point either, it would have been 40.

On your Tod would have won you the point,

the best on the board, only two points.

It was a jockey, and his name was Tod Sloan. On your Tod Sloan.

Here's your third question. Whoever wins this

goes through to the final and plays for the massive jackpot.

It concerns...the Mediterranean Sea.

For this deciding question,

we will give you five clues to facts about the Mediterranean Sea.

Can you give us the most obscure answer, please?

OK, let's reveal our five clues to facts about the Mediterranean.

And we have got...

I'll read those one more time.

There we are, Five clues to facts about the Mediterranean.

You're trying to answer the one that you think the fewest of our 100 people knew.

Mark and Bevis, you get to go first.

THEY WHISPER

-OK.

-OK.

We're going to go with the largest island in the Med,

which we think is Cyprus.

Cyprus, you are going to say, the largest island in the Med.

Peter and Debbie?

We were thinking the smallest UN member might be Malta.

The Red Sea is linked by the Suez Canal.

The African country, I have no idea.

But I think we'll chicken out of it

and go for the longest river to flow into the Med is the Nile.

OK, you're going to say the Nile is the longest river to flow into the Mediterranean.

Mark and Bevis, you have said Cyprus is the largest island

in the Mediterranean. Let's see if that's right and if it is,

how many people said it. Whoever wins this point goes through

to the final.

Cyprus.

Ooh!

Bad luck, Mark and Bevis, an incorrect answer, which means,

Peter and Debbie, you merely have to be correct with your answer

of the Nile as the longest river to flow into the Med.

Let's see if it's right.

Yep, you've done it.

27.

APPLAUSE

27 for the Nile, which means, after three questions,

Mark and Bevis, I'm afraid you've been beaten again

in the head-to-head. After three questions,

Peter and Debbie, you are through to the final, 2-1. Richard.

Well played. It flows into the Nile via the Nile Delta.

Cyprus is the third largest island in the Med. Second is Sardinia.

The top one, which would've won the point, it's only 14 points,

is Sicily.

Linked to the Red Sea by this waterway. That is the Suez Canal.

Would've scored you 31.

The smallest UN member state with a Med coastline is Monaco.

6 points that would've scored you.

And the African country with the longest Med coastline

is Libya.

That would've scored you 10 points. A tough board,

so well done if you got all five of those at home.

So the losing pair at the end of the head-to-head is Mark and Bevis.

-That's so unfair.

-I know.

Well, bad luck, Mark and Bevis, you've been brilliant in both shows.

Straight to the head-to-head, excellent contestants.

I'm sorry we won't see you in the final, you've been brilliant. Thank you for playing.

APPLAUSE

For Peter and Debbie, it's time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Peter and Debbie, you fought off

the competition and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

and at the end of today's show the jackpot stands at £5,250.

CHEERING AND WHOOPING

Well, the rules are very simple. To win that money, all you have to do is find a pointless answer.

We haven't had any on the show today. You only have to find one

and you will leave here with that jackpot of £5,250.

Firstly, you've got to choose a category and you can choose from these five options.

-Well, Racehorses, forget. Country Music.

-Forget.

-Classic FM, Literary Awards.

-No.

-Modern Art.

-No.

-Hobson's choice, Dad. Down to you.

-I think it has to be UK Politics.

You said politics would be good for you.

-Let's hope it's going to be a friendly UK politics.

-Yes.

-OK.

Let's find out what your question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many

Liberal Democrat MPs elected in 2010 as they could. Richard.

We're looking for any of the 57 Liberal Democrat MPs returned to the House of Commons in 2010.

Very best of luck.

OK, you now have up to one minute to come up with three answers

and all you need to win that £5,250 is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

-Yep.

-Let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are, your time starts now.

-Go for it.

-Clegg, Vince Cable.

-Huhne.

-Huhne.

Clegg, Deputy Prime Minister. Vince Cable.

Erm, somebody Alexander, the Treasury man,

the redhead that the Labour people hate.

-Oh...

-Something Alexander.

Yes, I know the one you mean,

but I can't think of... And I can't think of the guy that's taken over from Huhne.

I haven't seen the papers.

I don't follow politics, particularly, as you well know.

-So...

-God, I thought I knew them, but I don't.

-I just don't know. Where are we up to?

-18 seconds.

-So Huhne?

-Yeah.

-I mean, Clegg...

-Vince Cable.

-Vince Cable's less likely.

-Yeah.

That's the only three I can think of, off the top of my head.

-Five seconds left.

-Thanks.

-We've only got three, but I think they're all very popular.

-I don't think we're going to do it.

OK, that's your time up, I'm afraid. We were looking for Lib Dem MPs elected in 2010.

-I now need your three answers.

-Well, Vince Cable.

-Vince Cable.

-Andrew Alexander.

-Andrew Alexander, we'll put that in. Andrew Alexander.

-Was it Chris Huhne.

-Chris Huhne.

-And Chris Huhne.

-Yeah.

OK, there are our three answers. What would you like to put last?

-What is your best shot?

-Chris Huhne.

-Chris Huhne last.

-Which shall we put first?

-Vince Cable.

-Vince Cable.

And we'll put Andrew Alexander in the middle.

OK, let's put them up on the board in that order

and here they come. We have got...

Vince Cable, Andrew Alexander and Chris Huhne.

We were looking for Lib Dem MPs elected in 2010.

Vince Cable was your first answer.

Your least confident shot at a pointless answer.

You only have to find one pointless, remember, to win the jackpot.

So, let's see how many people said Vince Cable.

It's right.

Oh!

It's right, now it has to go down to zero.

Blimey!

-Were it to do that...

-Unlikely.

-..you'd leave with £5,250.

19.

APPLAUSE

Lower than I thought!

Well, as an ex-stand-in leader of the party,

-19 is remarkably low, isn't it?

-Mmm.

OK, unfortunately, not a pointless answer.

You only have two more chances to win today's jackpot.

OK, your next answer was Andrew Alexander.

Let's see, Andrew Alexander, is it right and how many people said it?

No!

-Bad luck.

-What a surprise!

-Bad luck.

You only have one more chance to win today's jackpot.

-What would you do with £5,250?

-A bit of a party, I think.

Seeing we're related, we'll have to invite everybody else as well.

-Yeah, a good party.

-That blows it all.

-Yeah.

That's going to be a great party.

OK, we're looking for Lib Dem MPs elected in 2010, your third and final answer was Chris Huhne.

This was your most confident shot at a pointless answer.

To win that jackpot, £5,250, it has to be right and it has to be pointless.

Chris Huhne.

Yeah, well, we knew it was right. Vince Cable took us down to 19.

Let's see how far down Chris Huhne can take us.

If he goes all the way down to zero, he will win you £5,250.

Still going... Oh!

APPLAUSE

Wow!

Oh, well.

Well, you didn't manage to find that all-important pointless answer.

I'm afraid, you don't win today's jackpot of £5,250,

which will roll over on to the next show.

You have been fantastic contestants and you do, of course, get to take home our Pointless trophy.

-Thank you.

-We wouldn't want anything else.

APPLAUSE

So, Richard...

Yes, we asked 100 people before his resignation, actually.

I suspect he might score a bit more than four if you did it again now.

Debbie, you were thinking along the right lines, who was the person who took over Chris Huhne's job?

-Yeah.

-Because he was a pointless answer.

-That's...

-Ed Davey, was his name.

-Who?

-Ed Davey.

The man who took over from Ed Davey, Norman Lamb, a pointless answer.

Let's take a look at a few more of them.

Alan Beith, the longest-serving Lib Dem MP was pointless.

Alastair Carmichael, who is MP for Orkney and the Shetlands.

Andrew George, who made part of his maiden speech in Cornish.

All of those pointless.

David Heath, the Deputy Leader of the House of Commons.

Don Foster, MP for Bath. There's Ed Davey.

John Hemming, John Thurso and the President of the Lib Dems, Tim Farron,

all of those are pointless answers, but very well done if you got any of those at home.

Thank you very much, indeed. Unfortunately, we do have to say goodbye to you, Peter and Debbie.

It's been such fun having you on the show. You have been brilliant. Thank you for playing.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

-It's been brilliant.

APPLAUSE

So, unfortunately, Peter and Debbie didn't win our jackpot today which rolls over,

which means on the next show we will be playing for £6,250.

WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE

Join us next time to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me, goodbye.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd