Episode 4 Pointless

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless -

the quiz show where obvious answers mean nothing

and obscure answers mean everything.

Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

First we welcome Grant and Dan.

You are first pair on the show this afternoon.

-How do you two know each other?

-Well, we met when working together at a now defunct music superstore.

-Whereabouts was that?

-In Edinburgh.

-A record superstore?

-Yes, indeed.

-Was that a famous mega-type store?

-It may have been mega, yes.

-Another one? End of Lothian Road?

-Indeed, yes.

That one on Princes Street. Very good.

I've bought a few records there in my time

and I was always terrified of the people who worked in there.

-That was you two!

-Probably.

-CHUCKLING

What you do now? Are you in other equally well-known record stores or...?

No, I'm a music teacher and Dan is a bookseller.

Yeah, I work in a well-known high-street bookshop.

Very good indeed. Well, great to have you here. Best of luck on the show.

Next, we welcome back Tara and Kerry.

You were on the show last time.

Everyone gets two chances to reach the Pointless final and this is your second chance.

-Reminder us, how do you two know each other?

-We're sisters.

We work together, live together and we're family!

-And one of you works the other one?

-Yeah, she works for me in my pub.

So, how did you get knocked out last show?

We got into an epic battle with Paul and Lee.

Oh, you did, you did! Oh, it was head-to-head, it was a proper ding-dong!

-It ran on hours and hours!

-CHUCKLING

That was last time, this is this time. What are you hoping is going to come up this afternoon?

-Food and drink would be good. Seeing as we're both in the pub.

-Food and drink, of course.

Well, it's great to have you back on the show.

-Let's hope we see you all the way through to the final this time.

-Yes, we will.

Very good. And next, we welcome Ingrid and Dave.

Now, how'd you two know each other?

We're husband and wife and we met on holiday in Jordan.

Fantastic, and where are you from?

Dave's from Somerset and I was, originally, then, from Devon

and I had to go all the way to Jordan

to meet a man who lived 50 miles up the road!

-LAUGHTER

-Dear, oh, dear, oh, dear! And how long were you in Jordan for?

-10 days.

-And this was, on what day did you meet?

On the evening before we flew, actually, in the hotel.

Oh, fantastic, so you had a whole holiday of romance.

Alexander, it was April 3 at 7.30pm.

ALL: Ahh!

-It was April 3 at 7.30pm...

-2000.

-..2000, that you met?

That's incredibly romantic/weird that you've remembered...

LAUGHTER

..the precise details of that! Erm, so what you do, Ingrid?

I'm retired now, it's what I was born to do!

Oh, excellent, excellent! Are you loving your retirement?

-I am, I'm loving every minute.

-Filling your time?

What's your favourite, favourite new activity?

-Gardening, more gardening and more gardening.

-Excellent.

Well, best of luck, it's lovely to have you here.

And finally, we welcome back Eric and Margie,

you were also on the show last time.

Remind us how you two know each other.

We are boyfriend and girlfriend,

we've been going out for about five years.

Five years! Come on, Eric!

LAUGHTER

-He's enthusiastic, isn't he?

-Come on!

So, Eric, what saw you out last time? What was the...?

We went out in Round One

and I think we tried to overcomplicate the question.

Oh, it was words ending in D-G-E.

No, that was a good call, you did the right thing.

It's usually words put together that are the Pointless ones.

-I think, this time, though, you're not going to make the mistake again.

-No, not at all. No, definitely not.

Anyway, it's lovely to have you back on the show. Very, very best of luck this afternoon.

We'll find out about all of you throughout the show.

There is only one person left for me to introduce.

In the battle between obscurity and irrelevance

he is the standard-bearer of facts.

It's my Pointless friend, he's Richard.

Hello. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Wow, well, good afternoon.

-Good afternoon to you.

-The top of the afternoon!

-Yeah, how are you? Are you well?

-I'm very well, thank you.

-Should be good today, two returning pairs.

-We didn't see the best of Eric and Margie last time, did we?

-No.

They got knocked out in the first round and were very unlucky to get knocked out, I think.

So, I suspect they'll have a point to prove.

I was just reading in the paper today,

do you know what the average time a couple spends

going out with each other before the boyfriend proposes?

It's four years 11 months. Four years and 11 months. LAUGHTER

I was just reading it.

We often talk about what's in the paper, so I thought I'd let you know.

We do a lot, don't we?

-Four years 11 months.

-That's how long we've...

-That's the average!

-Yeah.

-Sorry, I didn't know that,

I didn't know that. Yeah, I didn't know that.

-That's interesting.

-Interesting.

Perhaps we won't be the only people asking questions today?

LAUGHTER

OK. Just don't ask 100 people!

LAUGHTER

Excellent. Well, thank you very much, Richard.

All our questions have been put to 100 people before the show

but we are looking for the obscure answers that they didn't get.

To stay in the game with a chance of winning our jackpot,

our players must score as few points as they possibly can.

Now, what everyone's trying to do is find a Pointless answer,

that's an answer that none of our 100 people gave,

and every time that happens we will add another £250 to the jackpot.

Now, Lee and Paul won the jackpot last time

so the jackpot today starts off at £1,000, there we are.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Right, well, if everyone is ready, let's play Pointless!

APPLAUSE

Now, in the first round, each of you must give me one answer

and you cannot confer with your partner.

The pair with the highest score at the end of the round will be eliminated.

If you give me an incorrect answer you will score the maximum of 100 points,

so try and avoid those if you can.

OK, our first category this afternoon is...

Can you decide, in your pairs, who's going first, who's going second.

-THEY WHISPER

-And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, first round question this afternoon concerns...

Varieties of fruit and vegetables, Richard?

Yeah, on each pass we're going to give you seven names.

Each of those names is a variety of a fruit or vegetable.

All you need to do is tell us what that particular fruit or vegetable is.

Give us a nice obscure one, you'll score fewer points

but it was an incorrect answer, you'll score 100 points.

It's going to be 14 in all. See how you get on at home.

Well, this is sort of all new Pointless, isn't it?

This is a kind of Round Two question we used to have -

-it's been given a battlefield promotion up to Round One.

-LAUGHTER

Although, I will say, we're having a traditional Round One question as Round Two,

-for reasons I'm not entirely sure of, but hey, let's go with it!

-Good!

Good luck. Right, Grant and Dan, you all drew lots before the show

and this afternoon you get to go first.

So, here we go, we're looking for the fruit or veg of which these are varieties.

We have got...

I will read all of those again.

Right, there you go, Dan.

As always you're looking for the answer that the fewest of our 100 people will have got.

I'm going to go for what I think is a type of pear. Conference pear.

A Conference pear.

Let's see if that's right, a Conference pear,

and if it is, let's see how many people said Conference pear.

He's right...

Oh, 69.

APPLAUSE

-69 for a Conference pear.

-Yeah, big score, Dan, isn't it?

Almost all the pears we buy in Britain are Conference pears.

About 90% of them.

Why they called Conference pears?

It's because you see so many of them together all the time.

-With those badges on?

-LAUGHTER

One pear is a pear. Two pears, that's a pair...

any more than that's a conference!

LAUGHTER

Very well done, Dan, high score

but you've taken probably the only answer everyone knew off the board.

So, very good tactically.

Tara, what are you thinking of the board behind me?

I haven't got a clue.

I wish I hadn't had food and drink now!

-But you said food and drink?

-Not this kind of food and drink!

-Do you do fruit and veg in the pub?

-Not like this!

-I'm going to take a wild stab.

-Oh, goody!

I'm going to go for Inferno, a chilli.

-I see what you've done.

-I'm hoping.

If I were ordering a pizza called that

I would expect it to have a bit of that on it.

-Yeah.

-You might be right. Inferno, chilli.

Good luck.

-It is!

-Oh, my God!

Very well done, Tara!

Look at that, 10!

-APPLAUSE

-Well done, sister!

-10 points!

And if I may say, 10 richly deserved points.

Very good, can't fault your reasoning.

Yeah, great work, Tara, very good. So, it's a chilli pepper.

Chillies are measured, their hotness is measured on the Scoville scale.

Wilber Scoville was the man who came up with that scale.

Erm, Ingrid! So, remember,

we are looking for the names of the fruits of vegetables

of which these are varieties.

There's two there I think I know but which one's going to be the lowest?

-I think I'll go with Savoy King and it's a cabbage.

-Savoy King, cabbage.

Best of luck. Let's see if Savoy King is indeed a cabbage.

If it is, let's see how many people knew that answer.

It's right!

53.

APPLAUSE

-53 for Savoy King.

-Yeah, a pretty big score.

We'll ask at the end of the round what the other one was

-and see if it would have been better.

-And, Eric, we come to you.

-Is there anything left on the board that you know?

-Just one I think.

So, obviously, that's going to have to be the one I go for

and I think it's Braeburn, it's a type of apple.

-Braeburn, a type of apple.

-Potentially.

There it is, middle of the board. Well, good luck with Braeburn.

Let's see if that is a type of apple and if it is let's see how many people knew that answer.

Braeburn.

It's an apple.

Ooh, 82!

APPLAUSE

82 for Braeburn.

Big score but I don't think you had much choice there. I think you had to do that.

Discovered in 1952, by chance, in a New Zealand orchard, the Braeburn.

-Was that going to be your other option, Ingrid, the Braeburn?

-Yes.

Then you chose wisely there.

Let's go through the rest of the board, though.

Autumn Bliss, do you know what Autumn Bliss is?

These are all difficult, the remaining ones.

It's actually a raspberry. Would've scored you seven points.

-A Moscato is a grape.

-Oh.

Would've scored you 16 points.

And the best answer on the board, Musselburgh.

-It's a Musselburgh leek.

-Oh!

-It was the best answer, well done if you said that.

I was just about say potato, thank God you got there with leek!

-A Musselburgh leek.

-A Musselburgh leek.

-What's different about a Musselburgh leek?

-It's from Musselburgh.

-Yes.

And you have to call a Musselburgh plumber if you've got one. TITTERING

On that note, let's look at the scores. We're halfway through the round.

Well, it's quite a wide field.

10 is our lowest score.

Tara and Kerry, what a cracking score there. Wonderful.

Then we come up quite a long way to 53, where we find Ingrid and Dave,

up to 69, Dan and Grant,

and then, at the top of the field, Eric and Margie on 82.

So, Margie, you will have the pick of the crop on the next pass

so make sure you choose wisely.

We're going to come back down the line.

Can second players please take their places at the podium.

OK, we're going to put seven more vegetables or fruit on the board

and here they are. We have got...

I shall read those all again...

Now, remember, we are looking for the fruit or vegetable

of which these are varietals.

Nice use of the word varietal there.

LAUGHTER

And you are trying to find the one that the fewest of our 100 people knew.

So, Margie, you are the highest scorers on 82.

Find one you know that's really obscure.

Yeah, I'm just debating whether to be safe or whether to...

go for the one that I...

it's in me head that I've got it completely right but...

I think I'm going to risk it, OK.

I'm going to say Late Purple Sprouting, broccoli.

-Late Purple Sprouting, broccoli, you say.

-Mm-hm!

Well, you are the highest scorers, so there's no red line for you,

you just have to hope that's as nice a low score

as you could have possibly got. Late Purple Sprouting,

is it broccoli? If it is, let's see how many people said it.

It's right!

Very well done, Margie.

-36, that's a great score!

-APPLAUSE

Very, very well done. Takes your total up to 118.

-Richard?

-Yeah, you absolutely kept yourself in the game there, Margie.

Also, lovely to hear somebody with a north-eastern accent saying broccoli!

"Broccoli"!

-LAUGHTER

-Said it beautifully and she scored beautifully, on both counts.

-Anything else you want add on Late Purple Sprouting?

-Er...no.

-Good.

Dave, remember we're STILL looking for the names of the fruit or veg

of which these are varieties.

The highest scorers remain Margie and Eric on 118, you are on 53.

Should you score 64 or less with your answer

you are through to the next round.

I don't know too many of these

and the one I know the best might be too high,

so I'm going to gamble somewhat and could come unstuck

but I think the one I'm going to go for, the Crown morello, is a cherry.

Crown morello, cherry, says Dave.

Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

There is your red line,

below that red line you are through to the next round.

Crown morello is a cherry - how many people said it?

It's right.

And you are through to the next round!

Look at that, 22!

APPLAUSE

Very well done. Richard?

Very nicely done, Dave, the largest of the cooking cherries.

Often used in pies and jams and cherry brandy as well.

How many cooking cherr... I'm not going to throw that at you.

There's eight main varieties of cooking cherry,

-with the Crown morello being the largest.

-The largest?

Yeah, just below that, your simple morello.

Below that, you got submorello... LAUGHTER

below that you got morello junior... LAUGHTER

below that you got morelignio... LAUGHTER

and below that you got baby morello... TITTERING

and below that you've got just a cherry.

-Simple cherry.

-Plain simple cherry.

-Is that eight?

-Yeah, probably.

-Yeah.

-Good. Thank you.

Kelly...

Remember, we're still looking for the names of the fruit or veg

of which these are varieties.

-Erm...

-I've got very good news for you, you can't go out.

Oh, all right, in that case I'm going to have a guess!

The high scorers are still Margie and Eric on 118.

Even if you score 100 points you are OK.

I'll have a guess at something random then.

I'll say the bottom one is a carrot.

You're going to say that the bottom one, Royal Chantenay, is a carrot.

Yes, sounds like carrots.

You're going to love them now, if it's right.

OK, Royal Chantenay, is it a carrot?

And if it is, how many people said carrot?

-It's a carrot!

-Oh, my God, it's a carrot!

Brilliant.

-Oh my God!

-Look at that, 10!

APPLAUSE

Very good!

10 points for carrot takes your total up to 20,

the lowest score on the board, and it's your total. Richard?

You knew it somewhere, Kelly. What a team, eh?

-What do you know about Joe Atherton?

-Oh, Jo Atherton?

Lovely, lovely, lovely girl.

-No, Joe Atherton, yeah, a fella!

-Yeah.

He's from Mansfield Woodhouse in Nottinghamshire

and in 2007 grew the world's longest-ever carrot.

How many feet long do you think Joe Atherton's carrot was?

ALEXANDER LAUGHS

Joe Atherton's carrot? Was it taller than Joe Atherton?

I don't know how tall Joe Atherton is. LAUGHTER

Was it, he's...sort of man size.

I'm going to say it's taller than Joe Atherton.

-I'd be very surprised if it's not.

-Seriously?!

-Yeah.

Was it long and thin or was it long and WHOA - massive?

I've used up all of my Joe Atherton carrot knowledge, I'm afraid. LAUGHTER

-How long was it?

-19 feet long.

-What?!

-ALL:

-Whoa!

-19 feet long.

-Oh, that's terrifying!

-It is, isn't it?

-But was it 19 feet and really spindly

and just WHEEE, like that?

Or...sorry, you've used up all your, you don't know?

Poor Joe's sitting at home going, "I've grown a 19-foot long carrot,"

-and you're going, "Yeah, but that's a spindly little one!"

-No, no!

But imagine pulling it up,

going, "Ooh, I think it's quite a, it's quite a...

-"How hungry did you say you were, love?"

-LAUGHTER

-Blimey!

-Yeah.

-That's a whole lot of carrot.

-Well done, Joe, if you're watching.

-Very, very well done.

Splendid. Well, Kelly,

-all of which was a very roundabout way of saying well done.

-Thank you.

Now, Grant, the moment of truth.

Remember, we're still looking for the names of the fruit or veg

of which these are varieties.

-What's left on the board for you?

-OK.

-You can talk us through everything on it.

It's not my favourite subject, by a long way.

This, there's one that seems really obvious to me, being from Scotland,

which is Maris Piper, which is a potato.

I'm swithering between Oregon Sugar Pod being a pea...

but as soon as it came up I thought champagne was a type of mushroom.

-So, I'm going to go with mushroom for champagne.

-Champagne mushroom.

Here's your Red Line, below that Red Line, through. Good luck.

Champagne mushroom says Grant, is it right? If it is, how many people said it?

Ahh!

It's not right.

This is a piece of brilliant news for Margie and Eric

but it's terrible, I'm afraid, for you and Dan.

That scores you 100 points and it takes your total up to 169,

I'm sorry.

-Richard?

-Sorry, Grant, I've got French for mushroom is champignon,

but champagne is the best answer on the board.

It's not mushroom, it's rhubarb. Would have scored two points.

Rhubarb, champagne rhubarb.

If you had said Maris Piper, you're absolutely right, it is a potato,

but it would've knocked you out as well

cos it scored a mighty 80 points.

If you'd said Oregon Sugar Pod, again, you're absolutely right,

it is a pea and that would have scored you 26 points,

it would've seen you safely through to the next round.

-And the Mirabelle de Nancy...

-Is a plum!

-It is a plum.

-It makes a delicious jam.

-It's got six points. Mirabelle de Nancy.

Do you know what the world's biggest plum...? I don't know! LAUGHTER

Thank you very much, Richard. So, at the end of that round, the losing pair with the highest score,

I'm so sorry, it's Grant and Dan.

You've come all this way.

Obviously, we will be seeing you again next time,

everyone gets two shots at the Pointless final.

Any lessons you'll be taking away from your Pointless experience?

-Eat more fruit and veg!

-LAUGHTER

Eat more fruit and veg! There we are.

Lovely to have you on, we look forward to seeing you again

when I'm sure you'll make it through to the final.

-Thanks very much Grant and Dan! Great contestants.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

But for the three remaining pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

There's only room for two pairs in the head-to-head,

so one of the teams will be leaving at the end of this round.

OK, our category for Round Two this afternoon is Film.

Film. Can you decide who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

Let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many Danny DeVito films as they could.

-Richard.

-Yeah, any film made for cinema release for which Danny DeVito

has received an acting credit prior to January 2012.

We're not looking for TV films, documentaries,

anything made for the Internet,

but voice performances do count. Best of luck.

Thank you very much, Richard.

-So, Tara. Film. Good category for you?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-I'm quite happy about this.

-You're sounding quite upbeat.

I'm going to go for Austin Powers, Goldmember.

Austin Powers, Goldmember. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many people said it. Goldmember.

It's right.

Very, very well done.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

High five!

Very, very well done.

A great answer.

Very good answer. He plays himself, and he plays Famous Mini-Me

in the film-within-a-film which is called Austinpussy!

-Sounds like a car from the '60s.

-The Austinpussy?

Yeah. I think my mum had one.

Moving on.

Dave. What's the most obscure Danny DeVito film you can think of?

I'm not good on films. I do have one,

-I'm going to play it in a second, but...

-You have a film?

I have a film that I can think of.

But the final answer's going to be Twins.

Twins. Very good indeed. Twins. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many people said Twins.

It's right.

48.

APPLAUSE

48 for Twins.

Yeah, Twins, where he famously plays the twin of Arnold Schwarzenegger,

who would play YOU in a film, I think.

-Would he?

-Yeah, Arnie as you, Danny DeVito as Dave.

-Yeah.

-We've got ourselves a film.

We have got ourselves a film.

-Maybe Javier Bardem as Eric, I'm thinking.

-A good fit.

-That is good!

-Yeah, wouldn't be bad, would it?

-That is good.

Margie, what are you thinking of? You're probably quite good at this.

I bet you've got a few Danny DeVito films stored away there.

I'm a bit of a terrible '80s film buff, as it were.

And there's one that I've got in my head,

and I'm pretty sure he's in it,

and I think it's obscure so I'm going to have a bash.

It's called Throw Momma From The Train.

That could be a brilliant answer.

Let's see if it's right, and if it is,

how many of our 100 people said Throw Momma From The Train.

It's right.

Oh, down it goes. Look at that, 6!

Very well done, Margie. Cracking answer, there.

Six points, Throw Momma From The Train.

Nice use of an '80s childhood.

He stars in it and directs it as well,

stars alongside Billy Crystal.

We're halfway through. Let's take a look at those scores.

Excellent score from Tara and Kelly.

Lovely low score of 1.

Then we're up to 6 to Margie and Eric,

and then quite a hike up to 48

where we find Dave and Ingrid.

So, Ingrid, I hope you've got some brilliant Danny DeVito films.

You can blind us... Well, just one is all we need in the next pass.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK, we are looking for Danny DeVito films.

Eric, that was a great piece of work from Margie. You're on 6.

High scorers Ingrid and Dave on 48,

which means 41 or less will see you through to the head-to-head.

I don't know many Danny DeVito films. I do know a couple.

They've both got potential for moderately high scores,

but I'm going to have to give one, and I am going to go for Matilda.

Matilda. Got a murmur of approval

from the assembled company.

So, we'll see. There's your red line.

Below that line, and you're through to the next round. Good luck.

Let's see if it's right and how many people said it.

Matilda.

It's right.

You are through to the head-to-head. Very well done.

A brilliant score. 10.

APPLAUSE

Very well done, Eric.

Takes your total to 16.

Sailing through, Eric. Well done. He plays Matilda's father,

and his real-life wife, Rhea Perlman, plays his wife in that film.

Now then, Ingrid. We're still looking for Danny DeVito films.

-We need something truly dazzling from you here.

-I doubt it.

I'm not very good on films.

I'm going to have to go with Moonlighting.

Moonlighting. OK.

There's no red line for you, Ingrid, because you are the high scorers.

You just have to hope this is right,

and it scores low.

Moonlighting. Let's see if it's right

and if it is, let's see how many people said Moonlighting.

Ohhhh, bad luck, Ingrid.

That's an incorrect answer which scores you the maximum 100 points.

Takes your total up to 148.

Now then, Kelly...

-you are on 1, it doesn't matter what you say.

-I am pleased.

You are through whatever happens.

Have you got a great Danny DeVito film?

I'm sure he's the Penguin in Batman, but I can't remember which film.

It's either Batman & Robin or Batman Returns.

I think it's Batman Returns.

Batman Returns, you're saying.

-I think!

-The Penguin in Batman Returns.

Let's see if that's right. No red line,

you're through whatever happens. Batman Returns.

It's right.

I'm genuinely pleased.

Look at that, 9!

Wasn't too shabby!

Some amazing work, there. Takes your total up to 10.

Between Batman Returns and Royal Chantenay carrots,

you have got this sewn up! Fantastic. Richard.

Yeah, you're quite right. Plays the Penguin in Batman Returns.

Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers.

Big Fish. Be Cool, which was the follow-up to Get Shorty.

Terms of Endearment, he's in, that was pointless.

Would have added £250 to the jackpot. Hercules, Mars Attacks!

Death To Smoochy, Man On The Moon, the Andy Kaufman story, Drowning Mona

and What's The Worst That Could Happen? Ingrid and Dave.

-It was a TV series, Moonlighting.

-Thanks, Richard.

At the end of Round Two, the losing pair with the highest score,

I'm afraid it's Ingrid and Dave.

-It was a tough category for you, wasn't it?

-Not good on films.

What will be your guiding principle next time?

-Watch more Danny DeVito films.

-Don't do that!

We're never going to have that question again!

Well, it's been lovely having you on the show.

We will look forward to seeing you next time,

and I'm sure we'll see you go further. Thanks for playing.

Ingrid and Dave, great contestants.

APPLAUSE

For the remaining pairs, things are about to get even more exciting

as we enter the head-to-head.

Well, congratulations Tara and Kelly, Eric and Margie.

You are now only one round away from the final round

and a chance to play for the jackpot which currently stands at £1,000.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Only one pair can play for that money,

and to decide which pair that is going to be,

you are now going to go head-to-head on the best of three questions.

For each question, you'll be shown five options on the board.

Each pair needs to answer one of them,

and you are now allowed to confer.

Score less than the other pair and you will win that question.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for the jackpot.

Let's play head-to-head.

OK, here is your first question. And it concerns...

Players with 100 plus Premier League goals, Richard.

We'll show five photos of players who've scored at least 100 goals

in the Premier League, you have to name the most obscure of them.

So let's reveal our five 100 plus scoring Premier League footballers.

Here they come.

You are looking to name the footballer.

And finally...

There they all are.

Premier League footballers with 100 plus goals.

Tara and Kelly, cos you've played best throughout the show so far,

you get to go first. There are the footballers.

Name the one that you think the fewest of our 100 people

would have been able to name.

We're going to have to say C. We think it's Teddy Sheringham.

C. Teddy Sheringham, you are saying. OK. Eric and Margie.

-I know all of them, it's deciding which would be the most obscure.

-OK.

-You can talk us through them.

-Well, A is Wayne Rooney.

B is Matt Le Tissier, D is Robbie Keane and E is Nicolas Anelka.

-And...

-I'd say B.

I'm also thinking B, just cos he played longest ago.

We're going to go for B, Matt Le Tissier.

B, Matt Le Tissier, you are saying.

OK, so we have Teddy Sheringham from Tara and Kelly,

and we have Matt Le Tissier from Eric and Margie.

In the order they were given, Teddy Sheringham. Is it right?

How many people said Teddy Sheringham?

It's right.

There we are. 39.

39 for Teddy Sheringham. Eric and Margie have gone

for Matt Le Tissier. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many people said Matt Le Tissier.

It's right.

And it wins the point. There we are. 27 against 39.

-Very well done, Eric and Margie. You are up 1-0.

-Yeah, well played.

Matt Le Tissier scored 101 goals for Southampton,

almost all of them from about 30 yards out, as well.

Sheringham scored 147 goals for five different teams,

and Eric has taken us through the board, actually.

A is Wayne Rooney. That would have scored you a mighty 78 points.

Le Tissier, 27. Sheringham, 39.

The other two, both would have been better answers.

More modern but less known. Robbie Keane is D,

played for a number of different clubs in the Premiership, now in LA.

He would have scored you 20.

And Nicolas Anelka, he would have scored you 13.

He's the best answer on the board. Well done if you got all five.

OK, thanks very much, Richard. Here is your second question.

Tara and Kelly,

you have to win this question to stay in the game.

Your second question concerns...

Richard.

We're going to show you five clues to facts about President Kennedy.

-The most obscure fact will score you the points.

-Thanks, Richard.

Let's reveal those five facts about President Kennedy. We have got...

I'll read those again.

His middle name, the US state of his birth, his political party,

his wife's first name and the city where he died.

So there are the five facts about President Kennedy.

You're looking for the one that the fewest of our 100 people knew.

Eric and Margie, you go first.

THEY CONFER

I'm hoping it's the most obscure. I'm hoping not many people know it.

OK.

We're going to go for the city where he died,

and we're going to say Dallas.

Dallas. OK, you're going for Dallas, the city where he died.

So, Tara and Kelly. Remember, you have to win this question

to stay in the game.

We're toying with middle name or political party.

-I think he's a Republican.

-Go on, you say it.

OK, we're going to... Republican. Political party.

Republican.

OK, you're going to go for Republican.

Let's take those answers in the order they were given.

Eric and Margie have gone for Dallas

as the city where he died.

Let's put that to the test. Is that right, and if it is,

how many people said Dallas?

It's right.

37.

37.

Tara and Kelly have said

that he belonged to the Republican Party.

JFK, was he in the Republican Party?

Let's discover, and if he was, how many people said it?

Republican, you've said.

Ohhh, bad luck.

That's an incorrect answer,

which means after only two questions,

Eric and Margie are straight through to the final.

-2-0, very well done.

-Yeah, he was from the Democratic Party.

You changed your mind at the last second.

It would have scored 27 points. It would have won you the point.

Let's take a look at the rest of the board.

His middle name is Fitzgerald. That would have scored you 15 points.

His wife's first name is Jacqueline, Jacqueline Bouvier,

later Kennedy, later Onassis. Would have scored you 59 points.

And the best answer on the board was his state of birth.

Very well done at home if you knew he was born in Brookline, Massachusetts.

Would have scored eight points.

Thank you, Richard. So, the losing pair at the end of the head-to-head

is Tara and Kelly, I'm afraid. Republican!

-I know! You doubt yourself, don't you?

-It's true,

when the pressure's on, but you've come through,

you've played so well today.

Head-to-head last time, head-to-head this time.

This is where we say goodbye to you, but it's been brilliant.

Thank you so much for playing. Tara and Kelly. Great contestants.

APPLAUSE

But for Eric and Margie, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Eric and Margie. You've fought off the competition

and won our Pointless trophy.

It's going on the mantelpiece.

I should think nothing less.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £1,000.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

To win that money, all you have to do is find a pointless answer.

We haven't had any pointless answers on the show today.

You only have to find one and you will go home with that money.

You've got to choose a category. You now have a choice

of five different categories to choose from. And here they are.

You should go for your strongest subject.

-You're really good at Geography.

-Tempted with Geography.

-Yes, do that.

-American Geography.

American Geography. OK, let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

-US National Parks as they could. Richard.

-We're looking for the name

of any National Park in the US.

And according to the US National Parks website, there are 58 of them.

Any National Parks. Not looking for monuments, memorials, parkways,

military parks, historical parks. Just the 58 US National Parks.

Very best of luck.

OK, you now have up to one minute to come up with three answers,

and all you need to win that jackpot of £1,000 is for

just one of those answers to be pointless.

OK, we'll put 60 seconds on the clock, and your time starts now.

-OK.

-Right. I only definitely know one, which is Yellowstone.

Erm, so now we need to think of two more.

Think of the States, is anything, Florida, Texas, you know...

There's bound to be, but it's thinking of them.

I'm trying to think of what might be round the lakes,

or round any other features like the mountains. I'm really struggling.

See, I don't know. Try and go through the alphabet.

I'm thinking of stuff like the Everglades in Florida.

Erm...

I'm not sure if Yosemite is a park, or another feature.

OK. I don't actually know what they're named after.

Are they named after landmarks or people or...?

-Various...

-Could it be named after any presidents, like Roosevelt?

Ten seconds left.

Well, maybe take a guess at one of them. Yosemite, Yellowstone and...

Roosevelt.

Yeah!

OK, your minute is up. We were looking for US National Parks.

I now need your three answers.

So we'll go for Yellowstone.

Yellowstone.

Potentially, Yosemite.

Yo-se-mite, or Yo-se-mitee. No, I've done exactly that before!

It's the accent! And I'll just say Grand Canyon.

And Grand Canyon, why not?

Of those three, which is your best punt at a pointless?

We'll say Yellowstone, as it's only the guaranteed...

-So that one last. Which d'you want to put first?

-Grand Canyon.

-So, Grand Canyon, Yosemite, Yellowstone.

-Yes.

OK, let's put them up on the board, and here they are.

Grand Canyon, Yosemite, Yellowstone.

OK, we were looking for US National Parks.

Your first answer was a bit of a punt. Grand Canyon.

But it must be a National Park. It must be, surely. Let us see.

This was your least confident shot.

But we will discover, is Grand Canyon a correct answer

and if it is, how many people said it? Grand Canyon.

It's right.

There we are. Surprised yourself there, Eric.

OK, down it goes into the 30s.

If this goes down to zero,

you leave here with £1,000. There we are, 14.

APPLAUSE

14.

Unfortunately, not a pointless answer, but a very, very good guess.

And 14 for a first shot isn't bad at all.

So, only two more shots at today's jackpot.

What would you do with 1,000 quid?

Ooh, I know what I'd do.

-I'd have a holiday. What would you do?

-Spa day!

-Really, really long spa day.

-Spa week.

-Spa week. Even better.

Leave him. Not LEAVE him, I don't mean that.

Leave him in the house, I meant.

MARGIE LAUGHS

OK...

..we were looking for US National Parks. Your second answer, Yosemite.

This was a guess. Could be a brilliant guess.

If this is pointless, you'll be leaving here with £1,000.

Let's see. Yosemite, is it right? How many people said it? Yosemite.

It's right.

Very well done. OK, you scored 14 with the Grand Canyon,

let's see how far down Yosemite goes.

Into the 30s, into the 20s, into the teens. 17, for Yosemite.

APPLAUSE

Two that haven't been pointless.

You only have one more shot at today's jackpot. That's Yellowstone.

Are you confident?

It's not a pointless.

OK, we'll see. You never know.

You don't know what our 100 people are like, honestly.

Yellowstone has to be pointless.

Let's put it to the test. Is it right,

and if it is, how many people said Yellowstone?

Well, it's right.

You started on 14, we then went up to 17, with Yosemite...

Oh, 54!

APPLAUSE

Unfortunately, you didn't manage to find that pointless answer,

so you don't win today's jackpot, which will roll over.

But you have done fantastically well.

You got three correct answers, you thought you only had one.

You get to take home our Pointless trophy, though. No small feat.

Well done. Richard.

You played terrifically throughout, and three correct answers there.

Let's take a look at some of the pointless ones.

Crater Lake, nearly 2,000 feet deep. That was a pointless answer.

Denali. Mount McKinley is in that National Park.

Grand Teton has 2.6 billion-year-old rocks there.

The Great Basin, the Great Smoky Mountains, actually, the most visited

of all of America's National Parks. Mount Rainier, an active volcano,

that's a National Park. The Petrified Forest is a National Park.

Redwood, and Theodore Roosevelt National Park as well.

It's one that possibly you could have guessed, but a tough category.

Really tough. You knew a few of those pointless ones.

We said Roosevelt, as well, which is...

We have to say goodbye to you, Eric and Margie. It's been brilliant.

Thank you so much both for playing.

Wonderful contestants.

CHEERING AND WHISTLING

Eric and Margie didn't win our jackpot today, so it rolls over,

which means on the next show, we will be playing for £2,000.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

-Join us next time. Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd