Episode 41 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong, and welcome to Pointless -

the quiz show where the obvious answers mean nothing,

and obscure answers mean everything. Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

Welcome, Richard and Vanessa.

You are our first pair on the show today.

How do you know each other?

-We're father and daughter.

-And where are you from, Vanessa?

We're from Kingsteignton in South Devon.

Kingsteignton in South Devon.

Richard, what do you do?

I'm a subeditor with a local newspaper.

Sports editor, actually.

OK, so anything involving South Devon sports

this afternoon, you are quids in.

-Yes, yes.

-Right.

How are you on the national stuff?

All right, unless it's Grand Prix racing.

But I've got an expert with me on Grand Prix racing.

Vanessa, Formula 1. You're picking up the loose balls there?

-Well, apparently!

-Good luck with that.

-So I've been told!

-Yes! What do you do, Vanessa?

I'm an accounts manager for a tree surgery company.

Very good indeed. And what you like doing when you're not doing that?

I like horses, and I'm also into classic Minis.

Classic Minis?

-Into them, in the sense that..?

-I've got two in the family.

-You've got two?

-Yes, we have.

Good to have you here, Richard and Vanessa.

Very best of luck.

Next, we welcome Laura and Mick.

How do you know each other?

She is my best friend's girlfriend.

Your best friend's girlfriend.

Whose idea was it to come on the show, Laura?

-It was Michael's.

-Ah, Michael.

Yeah, it turned from a bit of a conversation in the pub

to actually being here.

Now you're here and you're now thinking, "What?!" Just sobered up.

Have you quizzed together before?

Erm, badly, in pub quizzes.

Yeah, just lots of Trivial Pursuit. Endless Trivial Pursuit.

Who's better at Trivial Pursuit?

Oh, I would have to say it was me, but I think she would disagree.

Yeah, but only because

he's sort of memorised all the cards from playing so often.

LAUGHTER

Listen, I can think of worse ways to train for Pointless, to be honest!

So, Mick, why did you pick Laura?

Because out of everyone I know,

she's the only person that's halfway decent at quizzing.

AUDIENCE: Ooh!

-Wow!

-Thanks!

-What a compliment!

-THEY LAUGH

Well, very best of luck to you, Laura and Mick.

It's great to have you here. Next, we welcome Heather and Fiona.

How do you two know each other?

She's my wee sister.

-And where have you come from?

-Glasgow.

-From Glasgow.

-What you do, Fiona?

-I'm a biomedical scientist.

So obviously science as a general field

is going to be very good for you today.

Anything else? Anything else you'd like to nominate?

Crime, thrillers, fiction. Generally very good.

Heather, what do you do?

I work as a planner for a global drinks company.

I'm based in a whisky bond.

In a whisky bond?

Where they bottle the whisky.

That's a brilliant place to be based, isn't it?

LAUGHTER

Well, great to have you on the show. Very best of luck.

And finally, we have Ming and Eric.

Ming...

I suppose I have to ask you why you're called Ming.

I know what the answer's going to be, I think.

Obviously from Flash Gordon. There's a similarity apparently.

-I can't see it.

-Really?

Everybody tells me.

You're not wearing a cape today, I spot.

-I have one, believe it or not.

-I'm not surprised, strangely enough.

Now, Ming and Eric, how do you two know each other?

Father and son.

Father and son.

-Eric, where are you from?

-I'm from Essex.

-From Essex.

-And Ming?

-I've travelled down from Barnsley.

-From Barnsley, Yorkshire?

-Yes.

And what do you do, Ming?

-I'm a retired policeman.

-Eric, how about you?

Yes, I'm a retired police officer as well.

How long were you on the force?

I was in the force for 16 years, but before that,

I was in the Royal Air Force for 24 years.

Right you are. Ming, how about you?

I did 34-and-a-half years.

Four different forces, all round the country.

What would be good for you if it came up today?

Natural history, animal world.

If you mention football, I'm looking at him.

OK, so, Eric, football's going to be good for you, apparently.

Well, I like sport. I once did get football muddled up.

I switched from football to hockey, and jumped up and headed the ball.

-LAUGHTER

-Ow!

Oy, that's not a mistake you make twice!

I didn't score, because I was in hospital.

LAUGHTER

Well, it's great having you here, Ming and Eric.

Very, very best of luck on Pointless.

We'll find out more about all of you throughout the show.

There's only one person left for me to introduce.

He's the BBC1 record holder for the longest spin in a chair.

He's my pointless friend. He's Richard.

Hiya!

APPLAUSE

But, boy, were you dizzy after that?!

Yeah, what was that I did? 47 minutes, didn't I?

Started at the start of the show. Still going when news started.

-Yeah.

-Ugh!

Four new pairs today.

I fear, I do fear, on question one,

the last thing I want to do,

genuinely, is anger Ming.

It's the last thing I want to do. You know that. But...

looking at the questions,

(he might not like question one.)

-OK. Round One's going to be tough on Ming?

-Yes.

It's not Ming-friendly, question one.

LAUGHTER

All our questions on Pointless have been put to 100 people

but we're looking for the obscure answers they didn't get.

To stay in with a chance of winning our jackpot,

all our players need to do

is score as few points as they possibly can.

Now what everyone is trying to do is find a pointless answer.

That's an answer that none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens, we add £250 to the jackpot.

Nobody won the jackpot last time, so we add another £1,000 to that.

So today's jackpot starts off

at £8,250.

APPLAUSE

OK, let's play Pointless.

Right, in this first round, each of you must give me one answer

and you cannot confer with your partner.

The pair with the highest score

at the end of the round will be eliminated.

If you give me an incorrect answer,

you'll score the maximum of 100 points.

So please try and avoid those if you can.

OK, the first category is...

-LAUGHTER

-Oh, Ming!

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first

and who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name

as many teams that failed to qualify for Euro 2012 as they could.

Teams that failed to qualify. Richard?

Yes, I'm going to say this is as much

a geography question as a football question.

We're looking for any team that failed

to qualify for the Euro 2012 championships this year.

Any team that attempted to qualify but failed,

either in the group stages or in a play-off.

Very best of luck.

Thank you very much, Richard.

Now then, Richard and Vanessa, you all drew lots before the show

and today you are going first. Richard?

I shall go for Luxembourg.

Luxembourg, says Richard.

Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Luxembourg.

It's right.

Very, very well done, Richard!

APPLAUSE

Very good. 7 for Luxembourg. Richard?

Well done, Richard.

They finished bottom of Group D.

That's the first time they've ever scored 7.

LAUGHTER

-Now then, Laura.

-Hello.

-Is this any good for you?

No, this is an absolute nightmare! A great start(!)

We did always say that if I didn't know the answer to the question,

I was going to say Slovenia.

So I'm going to say Slovenia.

Slovenia, says Laura.

Let's see if Slovenia is right and how many people said it.

It's right.

Well done, Laura! Look at that!

-2!

-Yeah!

APPLAUSE

That's why Mick brought you with him. 2 for Slovenia.

Yeah, well done, Laura. I've always said it. If in doubt, say Slovenia.

I've had my chance now. That's good!

We're looking for teams

that failed to qualify for Euro 2012.

Now then, Heather.

Having been to some of the qualifiers,

I'm going to say Liechtenstein.

Liechtenstein, says Heather. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many people said Liechtenstein.

It's absolutely right.

Oh! Very, very well done indeed!

APPLAUSE

Well, our sports correspondent has the highest score so far!

Liechtenstein, 1 point, Richard.

Well played, Heather.

Bottom of Group I, Lichten...Liechtenstein.

-It's hard to say, isn't it?

-Isn't it?

You made it sound very easy. I was quite cocky then.

Ming.

It's a wild guess.

Estonia.

Estonia, says Ming. Let's see if it's right,

and how many people said Estonia.

It's right.

Very well done, Ming!

Look at that, 2 for Estonia!

APPLAUSE

It's a great answer. Estonia.

Very good answer, Ming, very well played.

Sort of like a geography round, isn't it?

They actually nearly qualified. Got into the play-offs.

Just lost in a play-off.

We're halfway through the round.

Let's look at those scores.

Heather and Fiona, wonderful low score from you of 1.

Then up to 2, where we find Ming and Eric, and Laura and Mick.

And then up to 7, where we find Richard and Vanessa.

So a very low-scoring round.

But Richard and Vanessa, the highest scorers of the path.

So, Vanessa, we are going to rely on you

to find an obscure, low-scoring answer in the next one.

And hope that's enough to keep you in the game.

OK, can the second players please take their places at the podium?

We're looking for teams that failed to qualify for Euro 2012.

And obviously you're trying to find the one

you think the fewest of our 100 people knew.

Eric, lovely low score from Ming there, of 2.

The high-scorers on 7 are Vanessa and Richard.

Which means a score of 4 or less at this stage

would guarantee you a place in the next round.

-I'm supposed to be the one that knows about football.

-LAUGHTER

Northern Ireland.

Northern Ireland, says Eric.

There's your red line.

It's very low.

If you get below that red line,

you are through to the next round.

Northern Ireland. Is it right, and how many people said it?

10!

-APPLAUSE

-Our first double-figure score.

10 takes your total up to 12. Richard?

Yeah, good answer. They came fifth in their group.

Fiona, you're the low-scorers on 1.

The high-scorers on 12 are Eric and Ming.

That means a score of 10 or less will be enough

to see you comfortably through to the next round.

I know one that definitely didn't qualify,

but I think it will be quite a high score.

Erm, so I'm going to go for...

-Lithuania.

-Lithuania, says Fiona.

Let's see if Lithuania's right, and how many people said it.

There's your red line. Lithuania.

It's right.

You've done it! Very well done! 1!

APPLAUSE

Takes your total up to a lovely low score of 2. Richard?

Well played, Fiona. Lithuania and Liechtenstein both

in a group with that country which you're not mentioning

for obvious reasons. LAUGHTER

Remember we are looking for teams that failed to qualify

for Euro 2012.

Now then, Mick. You are on 2.

The high-scorers on 12 are Eric and Ming.

That means a score of 9 or less

will see you through to the next round.

Hmm. I'm kind of running out of Eastern European countries here.

But I don't think anyone's said Latvia yet, have they? No?

I'll go for Latvia.

Latvia, says Mick. There's your red line.

If you get below that red line,

Latvia will have seen you through.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

It's right.

Very well done, Mick!

1 for Latvia!

APPLAUSE

It's a great answer. A pair of great answers. Slovenia and Latvia.

Taking your total up to 3. Richard?

Yes, continuing our sedate cruise around the Baltic states.

Latvia. Very good.

-Very low scoring round, isn't it?

-Isn't it?

Vanessa, Eric and Ming are on 12.

You are on 7, which means a score of 4 or less will see you

comfortably into the next round. 4.

-It doesn't give me much leeway, does it?

-Not much.

It's going to have to be a complete guess,

but I'm going to go for Macedonia.

Macedonia, says Vanessa. Macedonia.

Let's see if it's right, and how many people said it.

There is your red line. It's very low.

Best of luck, Vanessa, with Macedonia.

It's right.

Yep, you've done it!

-APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

-Oh, very, very well done!

-The best till last!

-Fantastic!

That's pointless! It adds £250 to today's jackpot.

Takes the total up to £8,500.

It scores you nothing. It leaves your total at 7,

and it sees you straight through to the next round.

Very, very well done, Vanessa. Richard?

Yeah, brilliant, Vanessa. Very well played.

The former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia.

There's only six pointless answers.

Let's see if you got any of these at home.

Albania would have been pointless. Armenia, Belarus.

Bulgaria, a pointless answer. FYR Macedonia and Kazakhstan.

All of those pointless. Let's take a look at the top scorers.

Very low scorers, all the top ones.

In fact, Northern Ireland, actually

the third high scorer of all, unbelievably. 10 points.

Then Wales, 25.

And, Heather and Fiona, can you guess what's at the top there?

-Scotland?

-Scotland, absolutely right.

You said Lithuania and Liechtenstein, both in their group.

-Did you go and see either of those games? BOTH:

-Yes.

Did you think it'd get you through on Pointless?

-No!

-LAUGHTER

Thanks very much, Richard.

At the end of Round One, the losing pair with the highest score,

-it's Eric and Ming.

-AUDIENCE: Aw!

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

And a lovely low score of 12, as well.

Who'd have thought that would be a losing high score?

And actually, Ming, as it turns out,

Estonia a lovely low score of 2.

What are the lessons you're going to take from your first appearance?

I know more about football than he does.

LAUGHTER

Very good. Lovely to have you here.

We'll look forward to seeing you next time.

Thanks so much for playing.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

There's only room for two pairs in our head-to-head

so one of the teams in front of me

will be leaving us at the end of this round.

OK, the category for Round Two is...

Famous People.

Can you decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

and who's going to go second?

Whoever's going first, step up to the podium.

OK, so our Round Two question concerns...

Famous Charlies.

-Famous Charlies, Richard.

-'Fraid so.

Yes, we're going to give you six famous people on each board

who are called Charles, Charlie, or Chuck.

Can you give us their surnames?

Nice obscure ones score you fewer points.

An incorrect answer will score you 100 points.

12 famous Charlies to get at home.

OK, thank you very much.

So we are looking for famous Charlies and we have got -

I'll read those all one more time.

OK, so there we are, Richard.

Six Charlies, and you are going to try and find

the most obscure one there.

The one you think the fewest of our 100 people will have known.

Well, I'll take a bit of a gamble,

and I'm going to go for the jazz musician,

and I'll say Parker.

Charlie Parker, you are saying.

Charlie Parker, also known as Bird.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is,

let's see how many people knew that answer.

21.

-APPLAUSE

-Not a bad score at all.

21 for Charlie Parker.

Yes, Charlie 'Bird' Parker. Very good answer, Richard.

Two explanations for his nickname, neither of them interesting.

So I shan't bother you with them. LAUGHTER

-Mick.

-I only know one. It's probably the highest-scoring.

I'd take a guess at the novelist, but I'm going to play it safe

and go with Charles Kennedy for Lib Dem leader.

Charles Kennedy, Lib Dem leader 1999-2006.

Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many people knew that answer.

Charles Kennedy.

It's right.

36.

APPLAUSE

Not a bad score. 36 for Charles Kennedy.

Yes, born in Inverness

and grew up in a remote crofter's cottage in the Highlands.

Heather, you're the last person to have this board of Charlies.

I don't know two of them.

One would be a guess, so I'll have to go for the one I do know,

which is the star of the Death Wish films. It was Charles Bronson.

Charles Bronson, says Heather, is the star of the Death Wish films.

Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Charles Bronson.

It's right.

50. Exactly half of them knew that.

APPLAUSE

50 for Charles Bronson, Richard.

Yeah, a big score, but better than 100.

Michael Winner directed the first three Death Wish films.

Heather, were you thinking of taking a risk on one of the others?

I would have guessed the dog show one being Charles Cruft.

Yeah, you would have been right.

And if you'd said that, you would have scored 27 points.

The novelist whose early work was titled Sketches By Boz

is Charles Dickens. That would have scored 16,

I think because the clue was maybe slightly obscure.

And the Iraq-born advertising guru is Charles Saatchi.

That would have scored 12. That's the best answer on the board.

So well done if you said that.

Thank you, Richard. We're halfway through the round,

so let's look at those scores.

Lovely low score from Richard and Vanessa there.

Richard's answer of Charlie "Yardbird" Parker, 21.

Then up to 36, where we find Mick and Laura.

And then up to 50, where we find Heather and Fiona.

You're not massively out in front but you have find

a low-scoring answer to ensure a place in the head-to-head.

But you will have first pick of the next board.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players take their places at the podium?

OK, we're going to put six more Charlies on the board

We have got...

I'll read those all one more time.

Remember, you are looking for the names of these famous Charlies,

and you are trying to find the one

you think the fewest of our 100 people knew.

Fiona, how does that look?

There's a couple that I think I know.

I think I'll go for the US aviator.

Charles Lindbergh.

Charles Lindbergh, you are saying.

You are the high-scorers on 50.

There's no red line. You just have to hope

it's going to go down as far as it possibly can.

How many people said that?

It's right.

27.

-APPLAUSE

-27. Not a bad score at all.

Takes your total up to 77.

Let's see if that's enough to keep you in the game. Richard?

Very good answer. He won 25,000 prize for completing that feat.

Six aviators had tried to win that prize before and all had died.

Now remember, we are looking for famous people named Charles.

Laura.

This is really not good at all.

OK, well, the high scorers are Fiona and Heather on 77.

You're on 36, which means a score

of 40 or less will see you through to the head-to-head.

I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen!

I think we've chosen the wrong boards each.

Unfortunately, I'm going to have to play it extremely safe

and the only one I know I'm going to get right

is Charlie Chaplin for the comedian most famous for Little Tramp.

OK, well, let's see. Charlie Chaplin, you're saying,

for the comedian most famous for Little Tramp.

Here is your red line.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Charlie Chaplin.

It's right.

-Oh, never mind!

-OK, 61.

-APPLAUSE

-Oh, well!

61 takes your total up to 97.

The round isn't over yet, Laura.

Charlie Chaplin, Richard.

Yes, died in 1977.

-Do you know his body was stolen by kidnappers and held to ransom?

-No!

For 11 weeks, yes. Trying to extort money out of his family.

Whoa!

Yeah, that's pretty low, isn't it?

-So where they ever found and caught?

-They were, yeah, they caught them.

They had a high-speed silent chase,

during which buckets of water and planks of wood fell on them.

Were some of them on one of those trains that you power...?

Yeah, that's how they tried to get away.

Wow!

Now then, Vanessa. The moment of truth.

The high-scorers are Laura and Mick on 97.

You're on 21, which means a score of 75 or less

will see you through to the next round.

However, that will require you to know an answer on that board.

How's that board looking to you?

-Terrible!

-SHE LAUGHS

Which doesn't give Dad much hope!

Well, I'm just going to guess the Irish Prime Minister

and give him an Irish surname and hope it's right!

-SHE LAUGHS

-OK, well, Laura's smiling again.

They might be all right!

-OK, well, you know what his Christian name is, anyway.

-Well, yeah!

I'm going to say Abraham, but that's a complete guess.

Nice Irish name, yeah!

-HE LAUGHS

-OK. Charlie O'Braham.

-LAUGHTER

-It's probably wrong!

OK, here is your red line. If Charles Abraham...

LAUGHTER

..Charles Abraham gets you below that red line,

-you're through to the next round.

-HE LAUGHS

Could you not have picked a more Irish name, possibly?

-LAUGHTER

-Anyway, there we go.

Charles Abraham, is it right? How many people said it?

Yeah, bad luck.

APPLAUSE

I'm afraid Charles Abraham is an incorrect answer,

which scores you 100 points

and takes your total up to an unbeatably high 121. Richard?

Yes, he was prime minister three times in three different decades,

Charles Haughey.

It would have scored you 14 points.

It's a very good answer.

The former star of Two And A Half Men would have been a winning answer.

It's Charlie Sheen. Charlie Sheen, 46 points.

Had a UK number one single with She - French singer.

Charles Aznavour.

Absolutely right. That would have scored you 38.

And the best answer on the board... I used to love this guy in the '70s.

Just a name that's stuck with me. First man to break the sound barrier.

Don't know.

4 points, Chuck Yeager.

Chuck Yeager, 4 points.

So very well done if you got that.

Well done if you got all 12 Charlies. Very impressive.

Thank you very much. So at the end of Round Two,

the losing pair with the highest score,

I'm afraid it's Vanessa and Richard.

Charlie Parker was a nice low score, and then...

-Abraham, not so good!

-A tough board.

You would have been hard-pressed to come up with Haughey as a guess.

Yeah, think I would have been.

Well, we will see you next time. We'll look forward to that.

But thank you for playing. Great contestants.

BOTH: Thank you. APPLAUSE

For the remaining pairs,

things are about to get more exciting

-as we enter the head-to-head.

-APPLAUSE

Well, congratulations, Fiona and Heather, Laura and Mick.

You're one round away from the Final and the chance to play for that jackpot

which currently stands at £8,500.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Now obviously only one pair can play for that money,

and to decide which pair it's going to be,

you're going head-to-head on the best of three.

Basically, that means the first pair to win two questions

will be playing for that jackpot.

And the great news is you are now allowed to pool your knowledge,

as you may now confer.

-Let's play the head-to-head.

-APPLAUSE

OK, here comes your first question.

And it concerns...

Poets.

-Poets, Richard.

-Yes, quite high-brow this one, for us.

Anyone who gets all five of these at home gets a special prize.

We're going to show you five pictures of poets.

You tell us which ones you recognise,

and which of those is the most obscure.

OK, five pictures of poets.

Let's reveal them. Here they come. We've got...

There you are. They're our five poets.

Now then, Heather and Fiona,

you played best throughout the show so far, so you get to go first.

-THEY LAUGH

-I'd guess at D being Sylvia Plath.

Maybe.

We'll go for D being Sylvia Plath.

Sylvia Plath, D, you're saying. D, Sylvia Plath.

Laura and Mick, you can talk us

through the board out loud, if you like.

Well, that was the only one we were sure about.

I know a lot of poets, but not to match them up with pictures.

I think that A is probably William Blake. Maybe.

I think B might be Carol Ann Duffy,

and C, we're a bit stuck on.

-It could be Rudyard Kipling, but I'm not sure.

-I think it's TS Eliot.

She thinks it's TS Eliot.

Erm...right, well, we'll say William Blake for A.

You're going to say A, William Blake.

So, we have Heather and Fiona saying D, Sylvia Plath.

We have Laura and Mick saying A, William Blake.

In the order they were given, Fiona and Heather, Sylvia Plath.

D,- Sylvia Plath. Let's see if that's right, and if it is,

let's see how many people said Sylvia Plath for D.

It's right.

Very well done indeed. 21.

APPLAUSE

Very well done indeed.

Now then, Laura and Mick, you are saying that A is William Blake.

A, William Blake. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many people said A was William Blake.

21 is what you have to beat.

Oh! Bad luck. I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer.

After one question, Fiona and Heather, you're up 1-0. Richard?

Yes, Laura, you should trust your instincts a little bit more,

because you could have very easily won that point.

A is not William Blake. A is John Keats.

It would have scored you 7 points.

-But if you had said...what would you have said for B?

-Carol Ann Duffy.

Carol Ann Duffy, you would have just won the point,

because she would have scored you 15, the current Poet Laureate.

And who would you have said for C?

-TS Eliot.

-You would have one point as well.

Best answer on the board. 1 point.

Never mind.

And E is Benjamin Zephaniah,

and he would have scored 18 points.

So Sylvia Plath, a very good answer.

Laura and Mick, they must be sick. LAUGHTER

-You should be up there.

-I should...well, you know?

Seriously. Get that anthology out.

-LAUGHTER

-You should do.

-I will get my anthology out.

-Get your anthology out.

OK, here comes your second question.

Laura and Mick, you heard what the big man said.

Trust your instinct there. You were right.

You have to win this next question to stay in.

OK, your second question.

It concerns...

South American Countries And Their Capitals.

-Richard?

-We're going to show you five South American countries

and their capitals, but we're only giving you

the first and last letter of each of those words.

So can you give us the country and the capital, please?

OK, good luck.

Let's reveal our five clues

to South American countries and their capitals.

And we have got...

I'll read those all one more time.

Now then, Laura and Mick, you go first this time.

I'll leave this choice up to you, I think.

We know quite a few of them.

It's just trying to pick which one is the lowest score.

-Shall we go for the second one?

-Yeah, OK. Yeah.

OK, with going to go with Colombia and Bogota.

Colombia and Bogota.

OK, Colombia and Bogota, say Laura and Mick.

Fiona and Heather, you can talk us through the rest of the board,

if you like, and then choose which one you want to submit.

This is actually a strong subject,

because this is one of the things we did look up.

We know all of the rest.

The top one is Brazil - Brasilia.

Then it's Colombia - Bogota.

Peru - Lima. Paraguay - Asuncion.

And Chile - Santiago.

But the one we're going to go for

is Paraguay and Asuncion.

Paraguay and Asuncion.

-SPANISH ACCENT:

-Asuncion. Probably.

So this is all revision before the show?

-It is.

-It's all paid off. Very good indeed.

OK, Laura and Mick,

this is the question you have to win to stay in the game.

Did you know all of them?

The only one was that Paraguay and Asuncion, so...you know,

-what does that say?

-Yeah.

OK, Laura and Mick have gone with

Colombia and Bogota.

Let's see if that's right, and how many people said it.

It's right.

-Ooh, 15!

-APPLAUSE

Not bad.

-Not bad, not bad.

-Not a bad score at all.

Well, we will discover.

Heather and Fiona have said Paraguay and Asunth...Asuncion.

I've no idea if it's...Asuncion.

Let's see if it's right, and if it is, how many people said it.

It is right. 15 is what you have to beat.

And if you win this point, you're straight through to the final.

Yes, you've done it!

Very well done! 4.

APPLAUSE

Now that's very, very good revising.

4 beats 15, which means after only two questions,

Fiona and Heather, you are straight through to the final, 2-0.

-Very well done indeed. Richard?

-Yes, very well played, Heather and Fiona.

You took us through the board and picked exactly the right answer.

You couldn't have done it better.

Brazil, quite right, is Brasilia.

That would have scored you 29 points.

Peru is Lima.

That's the biggest answer on board. It would have scored you 47.

And Chile is Santiago. 16.

The best answer the board, Asuncion. Well done if you said it at home.

Thank you very much, Richard.

The losing pair at the end of the head-to-head,

it's Laura and Mick.

Bad luck. You played very consistently throughout the show.

And very strong showing in the head-to-head, actually.

As it turns out, you could have won that first question.

I know, I'll be kicking myself over that. Whoops.

Well, the good news for us as we get to see you next time,

-Yes, absolutely.

-You made it to the head-to-head,

so no reason why you shouldn't get through to the final next time.

-Maybe we'll do a bit of revision!

-A bit of revision, exactly!

It pays off! Thanks so much for playing.

-Great contestants. Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

But for Heather and Fiona, it's now time for our Pointless Final.

Well, congratulations, Fiona and Heather.

You fought off the competition

-and won our coveted Pointless Trophy.

-BOTH: Woo-hoo!

You now have a chance...

Is that all you could muster for the Pointless Trophy?

LAUGHTER

-FAINTLY:

-"Woo-hoo!"

You now have a chance to win our jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot stands

at a pretty impressive £8,500.

APPLAUSE

Well, it's been a pretty textbook Pointless performance,

I would say, actually.

Lowest scorers in Round One, lowest scorers in Round Two,

and straight sets victory in the head-to-head.

Although that doesn't tell the complete story.

You were quite lucky there with the poets.

But here you are in the final with an impressive jackpot to play for.

The rules are very simple, to win that money,

you have to find a pointless answer.

We've had one pointless answer on the show today.

You only have to find one now and you will go home that £8,500.

First, you've got to choose a category from these five options.

-What do you think? I'm thinking actresses.

-Actresses or literature.

I don't know much about actresses, but...

I know nothing about politics, nothing about TV writers,

nothing about tennis.

-American actresses, then.

-We'll go for American actresses.

American actresses it is. OK, let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name

as many Jamie Lee Curtis films as they could.

-Richard?

-Yeah, again, no Canadian politics.

It's like the unloved puppy in the Pointless pet shop, isn't it?

Yes, we're looking for any feature film made for cinema release

for which Jamie Lee Curtis has had an acting credit,

up to the end of 2011. As always, no TV films,

short films, documentaries,

but voice performances do count. Very best of luck.

OK, you now have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

And all you need to win that £8,500 jackpot

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

Let's put 60 seconds on the clock. There they are.

Your time starts now.

-It's not the best choice ever.

-Was she in Red?

-Red? No.

-Was she not in that?

-She was in the original Halloween.

She was in Halloween.

What was the one she did with Arnold Schwarzenegger?

-True Lies?

-I think True Lies.

I think they are all going to be quite high scoring.

-Where they were both spies in it.

-I don't know any obscure ones.

She was in Halloween, the original. Was she in the remake, as well?

Yes, Halloween H20.

Halloween H20...Halloween...

I can't think of any other ones at all. True Lies...

I can't think of any either. We'll just need to go for those three.

Can't even think of any voice-overs she's done, or anything.

No, I can't think of a single voiceover she's done.

Is it definitely True Lies that movie's called?

I'm 99% sure it's True Lies.

So we'll go with True Lies, Halloween, and Halloween H20.

Ten seconds.

I can't think of any more at all.

OK, your time is now up. We were looking for Jamie Lee Curtis films.

I now need your three answers.

-We're going to go for Halloween.

-Halloween.

-Halloween H20.

-Halloween H20.

-And True Lies.

-And True Lies. OK. There are your three answers.

Of those three, which would you like to put last?

Which do you think is your best shot at a pointless?

Probably Halloween H20.

Halloween H20 we'll put last. And which should we put first?

True Lies is going to be the most obvious.

True Lies we shall put first.

OK, let's put them up on the board in that order. And here they come.

We have got True Lies, Halloween, and Halloween H20.

We were looking for Jamie Lee Curtis films.

True Lies was your first answer,

your least confident shot at a pointless answer.

Remember, you only have to find one pointless answer

to win that jackpot of £8,500.

Let's see how many people said True Lies.

It's right. It's your first shot at that jackpot of £8,500. True Lies.

If this goes all the way down to 0,

you will leave with that money.

-APPLAUSE

-14.

14. Is that about what you were expecting?

-Lower than I thought.

-Well, that's quite reassuring.

So obviously, not a pointless answer.

But you weren't expecting it to be a pointless answer.

You only have two more chances to win today's jackpot.

What would you do with £8,500, Fiona?

I would go on a really good holiday.

-Yeah.

-A really good holiday.

-Heather?

I would finish decorating my flat, then go on a really good holiday.

LAUGHTER

OK, well, we were looking for Jamie Lee Curtis films.

Let's hope nobody said your next answer, Halloween.

This has to be correct,

and it has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot of £8,500.

How many people said Halloween?

It's right.

Well, 14 people said True Lies.

Halloween is making its way down through the 30s,

into the 20s...

-Ooh! 26!

-APPLAUSE

But again, you'd be very surprised

if Halloween had been a pointless answer.

You only have one more chance to win today's jackpot.

Everything is now hanging on the sequel, Halloween H2O.

-You're sure she was in it?

-No!

-95%.

95% certain she was in it.

OK, we were looking for Jamie Lee Curtis films.

Your third and final answer was Halloween H2O.

This, you said, was your most confident shot

at a pointless answer.

To win that jackpot of £8,500, it has to be correct

and it has to be pointless.

Let's find out if it is. Halloween H20. How many people said it?

OK, it's correct. Your first answer True Lies, went down to 14.

Your second answer, Halloween, went down to 24.

OK, this is going down.

It's beaten your previous two answers.

Into single figures,

down it goes...oh! 2!

APPLAUSE

Two people.

Unfortunately, you didn't manage to find that pointless answer.

So I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £8,500,

which rolls over to the next show.

You have been fantastic contestants,

really an exemplary turn on Pointless,

and you do, of course, get to take home our Pointless trophy.

So very, very well done.

APPLAUSE

It's very hard to think of

a Jamie Lee Curtis film that isn't well-known.

-A popular one.

-Anyway, we're going to hear some now. Richard?

Yeah, we are indeed. Halloween was actually her first ever screen role.

You could have had Halloween 2, but that would have scored you 2 points.

Halloween Resurrection would have scored you 1,

so would have prolonged the agony.

Let's look at some pointless answers. There's a few big films in here.

Beverly Hills Chihuahua, which I've had the pleasure to watch,

was a pointless answer.

Blue Steel, the Kathryn Bigelow film.

Christmas With The Kranks, based on a John Grisham story.

She stars opposite Tim Allen.

Drowning Mona, with Danny De Vito and Bette Midler.

Forever Young, where Mel Gibson plays a cryogenically frozen test pilot.

Homegrown, a crime caper with John Lithgow, that's a pointless answer.

Perfect, where she stars as an aerobics instructor

with John Travolta.

Queens Logic with Kevin Bacon and John Malkovich.

And The Tailor of Panama, obviously alongside Pierce Brosnan.

Well done if you said any of those answers at home.

Thanks, Richard. It sounded like you knew some of those.

-Two of them.

-Which ones did you know?

Christmas With The Kranks, and Forever Young,

which I only watched about a month ago.

Oh, no! Bad luck!

We have to say goodbye to you

but it's been wonderful having you on.

Thank you so much for playing. Great contestants.

APPLAUSE

Unfortunately, Heather and Fiona didn't win our jackpot,

so it rolls over,

which means on the next show we will be playing for...

-£9,500.

-APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Join us to see if someone can win it. Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd